June 3, 2025 • 51 mins
In this thought-provoking episode of Unscripted Wisdom, we sit down with Shashi Nowlakha, a leader, mentor, and visionary, as she reflects on her personal and professional journey through the often rigid frameworks of society and institutions. With honesty and warmth, Shashi shares how she found her voice, challenged conventions, and carved out a path defined by purpose, empathy, and authenticity. This conversation is more than a story — it’s a call to embrace change, question norms, and lead with compassion. Whether you're an aspiring leader, a creative soul, or simply curious about what lies beyond the rulebook, this episode will leave you inspired.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
A lot of people who can go to a lot
of people who can do this. Do that.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
See, when you're constantly with yourself, all these things come
to you by itself. Go into arguments, but not in
heated You should not be boiling inside. If you're boiling,
then that you know the the person and the point
is not important. Your doership comes or you know, my
(00:24):
point is only right good for him. A very prayerful
feeling mindset. And when you have a Guru in life,
all this very easily, you can do it. Guru in
life is very very important. All these things are taken
care of very easily. A few months or a year
or two. What's like, you know, what did I have been?
(00:46):
Ray Jim? What are you saying something like this? It's
very easy for me to just forget and forgive. I
can easily do it. Forgiveness is for me, It's very easy.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I want to know what what is the reason for
you to know yourself as bendas.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Bindhas is like, you know, to feel totally free. For me,
freedom is the most important aspect. If you're free, then
you can create a sense of belonging with other person,
so you actually you connect with yourself always everybody does it,
but sometimes you do it without awareness and sometimes you
do it with awareness. When you do it with awareness,
(01:25):
it's a very beautiful experience because you have to connect
with yourself.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
But we always say not key positive loversage negative. Do
you believe that?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Do you only look for positive presence? Your negative? Who's
so positive? Co sective? For me, state of mind is
the most important my state? How is my state of mind?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
It doesn't depend on our situations.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
There are situations, there are people, they come and go.
But what you can put on too is your state
of mind.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Now you're finding a solution for hy corporate culture. We
see a lot of smoking happening.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Smoking is giving them that much of relief caffeine.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Is giving You can think in that moment of yes.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Because they feel this is giving them a leak, but
they don't understand this is again poisoning them.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Jag Shashi, it's nice we happen to get this time
with you. How are you feeling to share your time
with us today, especially on a podcast that was good?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Nice sharing for people. It's always good.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You love to spending time with people. Of course, you know,
I was just thinking when I was coming with you
how should I address you? How should people know you?
So I asked you how do you define yourself? And
you told me I call myself Bendas. So I want
to know what is the reason for you to know
yourself as bendas?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
See? To feel bindas is like you know, to feel
totally free. For me, freedom is the most important aspect.
If you're free, then you can create a sense of
belonging with other person. And once you create a sense
of belonging, then there are no barriers. You can you know,
(03:19):
the other person feels so connected. You can feel connected
with the person and they feel very relaxed. How you
can make the other person comfortable with your presence? That's
very important, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Then I have to ask you what freedom are you
looking for? Freedom from?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
What?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
From your own thoughts? From people asking you answerability?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
What is the freedom? Is just freedom? It's nothing to
do with people, your thoughts. You just relaxed, just tripped,
and you don't want anything. You're not looking for anything
you know in life? Sure passa metrip to I'm connected
(04:12):
with the divinity.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Connected with the divinity, absolutely be a divinity is a
connect work in Kaohami, experience freedom by divinity.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I mean connected to your own self. Okay, that's divinity
for me. See you, Actually you connect with yourself always.
Everybody does it, but sometimes you do it without awareness
and sometimes you do it with awareness. When you do
it with awareness, it's a very beautiful experience because you
(04:45):
have to connect with yourself. Body is just there to express.
But see you, when you're talking, sometimes you want to
take sip of water. That's you relax at that point,
you take it some deep breaths. That's you do it
(05:05):
unknowingly or knowingly. You have to do that, yes, but
if you do it with your awareness, then it's a
different thing altogether. At that point, the awareness feeling of
whatever you are doing is freedom. You're not bounded, you
(05:25):
don't have any doors and dons. There's no barrier. There's
such a feeling of abundance inside. There's no lack, so
much of positivity.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
You know, when we were talking the other day, we
thought what will be your topic of discussion with you?
And then I took time and I got a meeting
with you. You have a beautiful garden cafe. It's a
legendary place. No body in Calcutta can say we have
all visited and the moment I went in the cafe
I was meeting you for I've only seen your Guru
(06:02):
story videos which got viral five years back, and when
I saw you, I was constantly thinking what will I
talk to her about? Will I talk to her about
her journey, her transformation or the say what you're doing?
But the instant thing happened with me. Also what you
just said was connect. So then I said that I'll
(06:22):
call her Shashi connects. Okay, so we have this podcast
calling it a Shushi Connects. And also we want to
know why should she connects? Because that is what today
we as youngsters are also are trying to understand. So
let's begin with that aspect. Why should she connect so much?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
See Bye? For me, connect is connecting.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
To yourself, but you connect with others also.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Only first you connect with yourself, you can connect with others.
You have to be connected with yourself. Then the awareness
is there, and then automatically you connect with others whosoever
without having any any judgments, without you know who the
(07:17):
person is, what the person comes from, how is he
doing or nothing. You just connect and then that vibration
goes to the world. It's all about vibrations. And the
other person catches this vibration, then he opens up. And
when you open to each other, you get a very
good experience. And there's a kind of lightness in the communication.
(07:44):
And you wanted to give How can you be supportive
to the other person? What can you do for the
other person instead of what I can get out of person?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
But is there no thought of being misused because they
don't connect? Courage? There to hong Ko thought process.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
By connection, I mean you're doing it with awareness, and
in that awareness feeling, there's very good, very beautiful positive energy.
There's no way that the person can you know, take things.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Out of you, even if he's in a negative energy.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
That he becomes positive in your presence. It's all about presence,
you know the end. Everybody has that positivity inside and
with that positivity that energy that transforms.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
But we always say a key positive logosage negative. Do
you believe that?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Do you only look for positive presence? Your negative co
positive quick negatived kiko or negativity fellas actor, it's positive kidnap,
but a positivity with a fellas that.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Have you ever gone through any situation in life like
this where you thought that person is completely in his
own space and you have to deal with him that time.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I come across many people. In fact, I mean I
get an opportunity, ample opportunity in my cafe itself. When
i'm there, I mean I don't need to be there,
we have managers, and but I get a chance to
interact with people there, random people. So somebody will just
(09:44):
come by herself and sitting alone, hungry, has a meal.
I just say hello to her, and you know, then
we start the conversation and I just offer myself to
the person, and the person feels so good, and then
(10:08):
the person comes back also and I feel very It's
such a satisfactory feeling.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
You put your guards down.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Huh No, See if when you are aware, most of
the things are taken care of. And by awareness, I
mean you need to be connected, Like like I'm talking
to you now. If I'm not connected, I'll not be
(10:47):
answering your question. You know, we what you want? Mm hm,
you get my point. But if I'm connected to myself,
then I'll be at ease. I'll make you also comfortable
(11:07):
talking to me. Otherwise there'll be kind of a stiffness
between each other. And when you're stiff, you're not true
to yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
True, you know there's something we've also known that. There's
the idea that you have lived all your life is
yes mind. What does it mean when you say yes mind?
You say you don't say no at all?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You say yes, say in my dictionary, I don't have
anything to say no. What will you say no to?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
You don't want to do something, you don't want to
go somewhere, somebody tells you, come, come with me, let's
do this.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Okay, we'll do it another day.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
But you prefer to offer yourself to experiences.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Obviously in life it is to offer yourself, but with awareness.
Every time I see with awareness, and that comes only
by meditation, which, of course my gurup, we have learned.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
We will get to know that journey. But I do
want to know that when we stay in a yes
mind and we go towards many things call, everybody is
getting more confused, more options, more choices, more confusion. You're
running a cafe, but there's so many cafes in the city,
so everybody is all the time choosing. So when we
stay with an attitude we say yes to everything, where
(12:35):
do we stop? How do we choose? Isiko? So what
is the attitude we all should develop.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
See, there's a proper meal on your plate with everything
you have something but something sweet, some things, you know, chili,
All kinds of varieties are there and you like to
(13:11):
you know the If you taste everything, then it makes
up a good meal, a proper meal. And you know,
you can only know where to stop. If you don't stop,
then you do over indulgence and then it bothers you.
So what happens in life. Also when you're in meditation,
(13:36):
when you have a feeling of abundance, and when you
have a positivity, the yes mind comes automatically. One doesn't
have to work for it. And once it comes automatically,
you know also where to stop, how much to go further,
where to stop, what not to do, what to do.
(14:00):
But there is a yes to it in the manner
like if you ask me, come, let's go Fir for
dinner tonight, and I'm the person who eats very early,
I said, okay, I will come with you and I'll
give you company. I mean, you know what you have
(14:26):
to do and what you don't have to do. But
if in your presence, if the person feels good and comfortable,
then why not.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
You're not Richard, that I eat early, I can't come.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Rigidity will not make you flexible, and.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
All flex librity doesn't let you really achieve.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
You to have a discipline. Okay, but the discipline should
be limited at some limit. Should not be that discipline
that you become rigid, because flexibility is very very important
to feel freedom, to feel comfortable, to make others comfortable.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
And what is discipline to the extent.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
You know? How much, ever is required to the bare minimum?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Not if it is giving me fixation. If it is
giving me friction, then I wouldn't go for it, which
I will able to understand. If this is giving me friction,
if I'm not comfortable with it, I just walk out
of first.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Any moment of friction cannot lead to something good.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Friction is a absolutely you know it. It will bother you.
If friction is there, it will bother you. See. For me,
state of mind is the most important. My state. How
is my state of mind?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
It doesn't depend on our situations.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
There are situations, there are people, they come and go,
But what you can hold on to is your state
of mind.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Even if the situation doesn't.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
So there's a chaos around, but your state of mind
could be still okay, So you want to find that's
the real piece. Just sitting up there in your room
alone or going to some mountains or beach and just
want to be there. What big deal about that piece?
(16:34):
But there's a confusion, there's a commotion and there if
you're able to be at peace with yourself, that's called connection,
that's called awareness.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Even suppose I have a hectic day, there's so much
to do, yet can we rest in between?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Can we find that whenever you feel a little friction
in the midst of so much of activities, just take
out little time. A few couple of breads will make
you relaxed. Why people have tea and coffee so much?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I don't know. It's caffeine addict.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
That they gradually get it addicted, But why they won't
They just wants to be just let go. They just
want to be away from for a moment. But they
don't know that can happen.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Now you're finding a solution for why corporate culture we
see a lot of smoking happening.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Smoking is giving them that much of.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Relief they can think in that moment of.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yes, because they feel this is giving them relief but
they don't understand this is again poisoning them. But this
relief can come without the poisoning, which just a few breaths.
That's the best. And we have done it in our life.
We do it every day. You know, when you're very upset,
(18:02):
very angry. You said, you do it automatically in your system.
The system does it for you. But if you do it,
that's so.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
This awakeness allows us to break free when we want,
not when situation goes so tough that you just give up.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
And then you get into all these habits.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
I think the first thing I might leave now is coffee,
or be aware when i'm having it.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
When you have coffee. I'm not saying one shouldn't have coffee,
there's nothing wrong, but that should not be the reason
for you to get rested. You have it once to
enjoy the does the companies there just a few SIPs?
That's all you have? Chocolates chocolate is also there. It
(18:56):
should not be that.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Ye do you start the body again, lack of awareness?
We start demanding.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Coffee. Yeah, otherwise I'm not able to think.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
You know one one thing I do want to take
it from here before I have to ask about Your
life's journey is the world of yeares also create. There
is a simultaneous world of homo. You've heard the fear
of missing out. Now you're here, so I kind of
have felt that you're always in the present even now.
(19:39):
So how do you not feel yet you're missing out something?
Suppose there's something happening beginn ashroom and you're here, so
that fomo hits you as it's a term we gave,
but it was always there.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
See, when you're with yourself, you don't miss out anything.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
What are you saying? A lot of people who couldn't
go to a lot of people who can't do this
do that.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
See, when you're constantly with yourself, all these things come
to you by itself. You don't have to, you know,
feverish about it or think you know the sleep is gone, or.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Keep thinking you miss it you regret now.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
No, you just it happens to you. The nature will
bring it to you. I mean the com happened to
me like that. I didn't have to be working so
much for it now. For example, Siam two is happening.
I was also booked for it, but for some reasons
(20:40):
I'm not going because my husband, my husband was going
and he wants to go, and if I'm also there,
he'll you know, he'll not be fully there for Siam,
He'll be thinking, what's happening to this? So he said,
I want to give him full participation. So for me
that is more important than for me doing it. I
(21:02):
will go to the other one and it will happen.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
This is contentment, I mean, see, real.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Feeling is you know, contented, abundance, positivity, belongingness with people.
That's the very beautiful thing. You know, once you have belongingness.
People who come to you with negative energy, they turn around.
(21:34):
We ourselves create a preconceived idea, so and so person
is like this, and so and so behavior is expected.
So how can you be connecting with the person? Can't connect?
(21:54):
So you just stop labeling and then.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
You share something incidents about your life where you got
aware of your ability to connect. You just you just
realized I just connected with him. Are they any stories?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Yeah, there's plenty. I mean the big ones also and
small ones in daily life which happens. And I will
tell you a small one which just happened to me
(22:36):
in my cafe the other day. This gentleman very well dressed.
He came with his family to have a meal and
somehow I greeted him, welcomed him. He also reciprocreated and
then he offered me to sit.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
And did he know you the owner?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
At that point he didn't know. And then he said
he had come with his children and grandchildren, and then
he started telling me. I sat for a few seconds.
He started, you know what is my major problem? I said, huh,
you know article but chess parents And his son was
(23:30):
like a forty old guy. I said, Moya, but you
don't hey, h b Fren. The son was so happy
(24:01):
to hear this.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
He said, pa, was he convinced?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
No? Then he said, yes, habit close friends. Then I said,
kaa madina visit. He was a Muslim. I said, young
(24:36):
married sister. And he said, but so these are the
ways you know when you connect and when you don't want.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
When you were talking, you didn't know to go to
this conversation.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Absolutely not so major ones. Also when we had this
World Culture Festival. Also, there are also a lot of.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Time you could actually convince the even the protocols around
Prime Minister office is very rigid. How do you break
through rigidity? Because they are literally.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
You have to be available and only when rigidity breaking
is there you can experience that mood.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
What did you really convince them the way you wanted
to go?
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I just became friendly with the paying off office people.
Nobody there's so many people didn't offer them food and
in the heat and all water and first for two days,
three days. You know, I was genuinely became friendly, not
(25:59):
to get things, not to please them, absolutely not. They
get the work done. But when they were very open
and friendly, then I asked what is there how to
go about it? They said, why don't we have a
new setup for the Prime Minister. I said, yeah, we'll
(26:21):
do it. Let's do that, And that's how it happened.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Because they now when you say you're being friendly, you
think people are not friendly to people in higher position.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Everybody wants to get something out of the post m
and you know to the higher position people are more
in respect with the chair person will go and come
the chair is the important? Become important?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
It is the Prime minister chair and not in the model.
But just like for us, you have.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
A respect for the chair and love for the person.
Things sorted?
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Can we do that together? Like why are respecting their
position which they've worn through their hard work.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Absolutely loved with the person. It's very important. In the chair.
You can have a respect for the chair, love and
respect to go site together. Then that's it and it
should be together in fact simultaneously. See if you just
(27:30):
have respect, keep that other person away from you, and
you just have love, you take things for granted, possessiveness
and things will develop.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
So balance.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah, it's so much of feverishness, possessiveness. Then that love.
You know, it's not love. But when love and respect
both are there, that thing will not happen.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Suppose you're married for how many years now?
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Thirty seven thirty?
Speaker 1 (27:57):
So in that relationship that you have, you maintain bore love, respect.
Respect means you can't shout. Is that what you will respect?
Speaker 2 (28:04):
No? No, we have difference of opinion. We argue also,
but he has freedom. I also have my own freedom.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Respect allows you to put your point through. Y Is
it okay? If you are yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, I mean see I again tell you go into arguments,
but not in a heated You should not be boiling inside.
If you're boiling, then that you know the the person
and the point is not important. Your doership comes or
(28:42):
you know, oh, my point is only.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Right, but with the argument only the boiling starts.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Stop there.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
This is what you do when you in your relation
the way too.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I told you, whenever that you're feeling well talking to
anybody or any situation, if there's a friction, slightest of
the prision, don't get that friction to the boiling point.
Just then you need to sit back, observe your breath,
connect to your soul, and then come back. Then he'll
(29:19):
be in a more positive manner, will bounce back easily.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Your journey with the art of living started on its own,
or it happened through some situation in life.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
That was in nineteen eighty seven. But and it was happening.
The program was happening right across Mayor. I was not
married then right Maya my parents house, and God himself
was taking the program, and there was some kind of
I was all happy and quite flamboyant, and you know,
(29:57):
I was good in academics and I just finish my graduation.
Then something was I was looking for, which I didn't
know what I was looking for. I didn't understand what
spirituality neither religion would you know, interest me going to
(30:17):
temples and all that was not my cup of tea,
but something I was looking for. And when I did
the course that I could make out that this is
what I want.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
So there was a situation you didn't know what you're
looking for, but there was some kind of seeking.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I could not relate myself. But when I got into
the program and I with being with his wisdom, then
I could understand, yes, something that.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
And what has changed in Shashi?
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Then?
Speaker 1 (30:53):
And now? Through time you have they say you evolved,
you became your running course.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
You grew definitely, you become more easy with people. Your temperament,
emotions are taken care of. You don't get so emotional.
You are a very balanced life. I'm not saying I
don't get angry at all, but now when I get angry,
(31:20):
it's is very short lived. And at the same time,
you have to get things done because I multiple things.
I make sure that somebody, some vote is anger like
its anger is. You are not in yourself. You are
you are punishing yourself from some other's fault. So it's
(31:46):
a very foolish thing to do that. So whenever something
like this comes up, it's very easy for me. You know,
I have to stop here and wait for a while,
let the situation pass, and then explain the person is.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
So, your journey has let you go through many milestones.
Even after coming on the path of practicing meditation, you
have grown into it.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
It's always, there's no end to it. You'll always grows
always upward journey. There's no there's no round.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
How has your family got into this? How did they adapted?
Did you make them go through the process.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
My husband was following, but I didn't convince Himore this
is better, that is better compared or any time. But
I prayed to go there silently that you know, if
it comes here, it'll be more good for him. And
(32:53):
that's how it happened. And my extended family is seeing
me going through any situations, handling situations. They also got
into it gradually. But I never forced or pressurized anybody
or trying to prove myself this is better and one
should do this. You know, conviction counts, not convincing is
(33:18):
not required.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
No, I thought it's more important.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
It is well to convince your conviction.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
How you were, what you're doing, you have conviction people
absolutely Today your san chief is I think he's doing
a lot of Siva he's so dedicatedly there for the
ash room. Your younger son is into full business management.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Not businessman. He is an artist, but he I.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Think with the kaffe also he helps around.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
No, no, he's a total artist. He lives in Bali now.
He was in the ashroom for four years during COVID.
He had his class blowing studio there and he's he's
a shishioga teacher.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
So they have also aligned on on absolutely.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
When you see, when you have a very prayerful feeling
mindset and when you have a guru in life, all
this very easily, you can do it. Guru in life
is very very important. All these things are taken care
(34:24):
of very easily.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
What is the secret of your dynamics? You're known for
being a very frank person and combination of wit. So
how how does this flow out of you? You always
had a sense of humor, you developed.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
This hard it comes automatic. I'm one of us. I
don't prepare myself much. I'm in fact at all, I
don't prepare at all, and I'm natural.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
You like you? You you can answer back. Sarcasm plays
more with you? Or what what.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Do you circa? Sarcasm is basically put the other person down,
which no, no, which I don't like it because I'm
here to have a belonging to the person, not to
put the person down.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
There are a situations we've seen sarcastic people can actually
create a little uncomfortable zone.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
So that's not how do you answer?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
How do you for me?
Speaker 2 (35:23):
I create a connection with the person, So doesn't play
a role here.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
If we want to explain someone something, you have your
own way of conveying your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
See, first I be with the person, create a belongingness,
like I just narrated the story and the person opens
up and then we relate to each other. And then
suddenly I got this thought of going to mccammadina. So
(36:00):
I related it with him and he was all okay
with it. So it's in. It has to be in
a very easy, natural way, without getting things anything from
the other post.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
This thought has to be there because it is quite
normal and human. If I become friends with someone very
powerful or famous, your mind can tell you, now I
know him, I might get this benefit. It is quite natural.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
See when you're contented, when you have a guru in life.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
These thoughts are not natural. You don't want to capitalize
on everything.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
It's not required. See if things come to you easily,
even before the thought you want in the jungle, you
want a sundation, it comes to you. What more you want.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Now that you told me you connect? Do you use
your connections and networking in place to get yourself some
benefits like.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
The benefits not for myself but if it is in
a bigger perspective then for the society, yes, but not
to the other person also it helps then.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Of course, but not for your own privilege that you
don't suppose.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
I don't need it. I'm all. It's all there.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
You can follow the rules. You don't follow the rules.
I know the traffic incident, So without following the rules,
you make your way.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
I see rules and regulations. I mean, do you know
the other rules? If you don't know, then, but yes,
certain you know stuff, which is of course you are
in a society community you need to. But beyond that,
(37:50):
if it bothers me, it becomes a barrier to me,
then I don't. I know. I can get my work done.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
I know, I know. I was amazed with the story
of yours. You were crossing the signal. You know, you
were not on the right side of the law that time,
and you very nicely pacified him to be friendly with you.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yeah, it just offered him because it was so much
of heat, and I knew that he needs somewhat. I said,
I offered him water and he was fine with me.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
He didn't say very license on money.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
So what jeruie Ames?
Speaker 1 (38:33):
What is that?
Speaker 2 (38:34):
So? You know, just soul to soul. Once you be
with your soul, you know the person is also the same.
He's also a human, whether be a celebrity or not
a celebrity or a simple peon, it's also human being
first year a human then everything you know carry.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
When you say guruz needed in life, you found one.
How is it different when you have a guru in person?
Now you meet Guruji? Also, how does it give you
a different experience someone not meeting him and you meeting him?
How is that whole world different for you?
Speaker 2 (39:16):
See, Guru helps you. It's very easy to say connect
yourself with your soul and words is very but Guru
in life makes you experience that. Once you experience and
if you keep experiencing, then it becomes easier. Day by
(39:39):
day you're able to do it.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
You don't struggle through it.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
There's no nothing, will struggle and problem anything in my life.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Because I see people question this. Then are so many
special organizations? Are there? So many gurus are there? What
do we understand? Kaho jaiga insani? So did you ever
feel like with Gurugi you're in a different.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
See when I did the program, then somehow something triggered
inside me about spirituality. So in Calcutta in winters, that
was a wintertime. Many these as you said, they come,
they they give their courses and all that, and I went,
(40:26):
I read a lot of books and somehow I was resonating.
You know, everything all is you know they're talking the
same things. But with I was able to you know,
my personality blossomed. I became my very emotionally balanced. You know,
(40:53):
my wants, my needs were very clarified. You know, I
didn't have much needs. My wants also desires as you say.
And then I wanted more and more people to get
into it. And the once you get more and more people,
whatever you have earned and gained it becomes more solidified.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Okay, you don't want to hold it that this is
my knowledge, I keep it.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
I don't want to share unless you share. See a
small little riskul of some nice shop you want you
share a nice movie. You see something and something which
is so close to you, so have blossomed you. How
can you just keep it to yourself? You have to
share and that's it. And once you share, then that
(41:46):
blessings both or.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
The she is there age to connect? Do we need
to think pelisara chief card.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
To achieve?
Speaker 1 (42:02):
But if content complex and I will not go with
so much.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Content by content means not a passive kind of content.
Content means yeah, skilly cacker, that kind of content.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
That will allow us to become more entrepreneur Also because.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
If entrepreneur is like what is entrepreneurs simple as says,
you will not do to your vendor anything like that
which you don't want. You will not do to your
customers anything like that which you don't want a vendor
to do to you. Okay, that's business.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
This is what I loved what said and I apply
this in my life with my business.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Business is ruthless. What you're saying, destiny.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
To see if my business, if my restaurant is run
by my managers, my staff and all that they are
doing so much for you, how will you what do
you want to how will you get that profits unless
they are the ones were running I go on and now,
(43:19):
but they're their full time. That's their livelihood more than
me earning profits. It's livelihood for them. So they are
equally you know, there with you. So you have to
be with them one to one. I'm not saying you
have to sit in eat with them, but prame maybe
(43:47):
my business cap party. They are also stakeholders.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Now you've come through all this experience of life, what
is that you want to do? Now you're doing everything
and is there a list you know what you want
to do ahead? What are the achievements more that you
want to you're running?
Speaker 2 (44:06):
I mean, I don't know. There's some thoughts of last
some a few months or a year or two thoughts
like you know, what did have been raw? Agent? What
are you saying something like this? You know, it gives
me a lot of thrill. Become quite an adventurous person.
(44:28):
So I mean, I would also like to go to
some kind of places where you know, it's very troublesome.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Yeah, like you see in the world around now a
lot of wars and situation.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Like wars in situations, war zone and all that. But
that's okay, but you know where undercover? You know what
you can? How can you.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
When things are not planned? Because this because decisions.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
I like christ management. Okay, you know because moment to
moment what you can? You know you have a plan,
you go with your plan and certainly there's something happens
you have to switch. So that switch, you know, switch
to plan plan. You don't plan be your plan C
(45:15):
because that also might fail at some point. But there
is some divine plan for you.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
You have identified what helped you when you were doing
crisis management for astroom in that space.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
So what do you do if I was telling you
not the stage for the PM that was?
Speaker 1 (45:35):
So did you identify what is that skill in you
which we can also.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
Develop availability skill company later on just to be available skill.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
You you are confident in any kind of crisis. You
might not know the technique, but you'll figure it out
that moment because we don't want.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
To star the grace flows. I told you know that
if you're available, the divinity is there. You just walk
one step and the difinity takes you ahead. And I'm
sure you have experienced you know, whatever you want, whatever
you plan, everything doesn't happen according to you, there's some
(46:16):
other divinity plan. The nature runs with the divine plan.
It's not by the internal organs. Is you're not anything
for internal organs?
Speaker 1 (46:26):
What a few things that Shashi has to do when
she wakes up, Like if I had a time, I
would have wanted to spend a day with Sashi. Would
I know or is it every day a new Shashi?
I wouldn't be able to.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
I see every day a new.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
Are there some fixed things we definitely see you do
morning chai chai?
Speaker 2 (46:48):
I mean I don't go for fixation. First of all,
I don't have a fixed routine in my life. But yes,
I do meditate, if requires three times sometimes four times
a day. Also that is a must.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
This is and.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
I do yoga also, which is not fixed all days.
And I would not like to do a pattern in
a pattern. I don't like very patent kind of stuff.
You know, sometimes I'll do this, sometimes I'll do that.
I always like to do something different, and also feel
(47:33):
life should be more, you know, it is not the
same kind every day. And when I get up also
I said, it's a new day for me.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
You're not You're not carried on to the monotony.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Of it's very easy for me to to just forget
and forgive. I can easily do it. Forgiveness is for me.
It's very easy.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
I think I've got the whole credit of how your
network works, how you charge yourself, and how you connect.
It's a great tool because for a long time we
had been thinking and I've heard so much about you.
I think it's not just because of your work or
your presence. It's also because I think you've connected with
so many people. Before I could even see or think
(48:20):
of you, or I even thought who am I going
to next, people started telling me and then I was like,
what do I have to do? They let nothing, she
will do it. I said, well, what will I talk?
It's like that, or what she will do? You just talkless.
So now I know why it happens. It is not
just that you connect because of your skill of communication,
but I think you're so connected to yourself that all
(48:43):
the skills are getting you know, coming inside you and
working out in your favor.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
And the Guru does it for you.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
You give that credit to him.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
Of course, I wouldn't have been here without you.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
You know, on the burden of the creditors that will
the old total leave us with one Winda's attitude thing.
What you do you like singing? Are you a singer?
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Yeah? Of course a bathroom singer. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
So anything that you want to leave us with the
thing that defines your bindas moments.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Mm hmm. Once you do you know, whatever they enjoy,
not with the sake of a but ms must job.
(49:41):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
What is your thought? Your husband's thought about your share that?
What does he call you?
Speaker 2 (49:49):
He calls me bindas and he says, we have two opposites,
and the equator is the Guru. And he's very well planned,
his discipline.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
He has all the things that you don't align.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
With absolutely and he you know, he dresses up well,
his meetings are all setting and absolutely and I'm totally opposite.
Then don't go with how do you connect? Well?
Speaker 1 (50:19):
How do you guys?
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Because we opposite, they compliment each other.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
It was lovely talking to you. I think this is
going on. There's so many things. I actually wanted to
go more, but I want to bring it more in
detailed chapters. Otherwise, people, we have seen your Guru Stories
series also when it was really nice and I didn't
want to start Guru story today. I was like if
I start, I would have to sit here for the
longest time. But this whole understanding of connect is important
(50:47):
because with that only we will be able to go
where we are headed out. And since you inspire the youth,
this is the thing we are missing. We're looking for
everything outside.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
My heart is with the youths and in India is
a youth country. Part of living is youth organization. And
once the youth are able to be loving and respecting,
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
I think now the answer will be to connect with self,
we will find a direction. Absolutely otherwise we come to you.
I will make sure everyone has a contact. You have
the solution.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
I am there for everybody.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Thank you so much as it was a pleasure to
have you.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
Thank you uncle
A lot of people who can go to a lot
of people who can do this. Do that.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
See, when you're constantly with yourself, all these things come
to you by itself. Go into arguments, but not in
heated You should not be boiling inside. If you're boiling,
then that you know the the person and the point
is not important. Your doership comes or you know, my
(00:24):
point is only right good for him. A very prayerful
feeling mindset. And when you have a Guru in life,
all this very easily, you can do it. Guru in
life is very very important. All these things are taken
care of very easily. A few months or a year
or two. What's like, you know, what did I have been?
(00:46):
Ray Jim? What are you saying something like this? It's
very easy for me to just forget and forgive. I
can easily do it. Forgiveness is for me, It's very easy.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I want to know what what is the reason for
you to know yourself as bendas.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Bindhas is like, you know, to feel totally free. For me,
freedom is the most important aspect. If you're free, then
you can create a sense of belonging with other person,
so you actually you connect with yourself always everybody does it,
but sometimes you do it without awareness and sometimes you
do it with awareness. When you do it with awareness,
(01:25):
it's a very beautiful experience because you have to connect
with yourself.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
But we always say not key positive loversage negative. Do
you believe that?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Do you only look for positive presence? Your negative? Who's
so positive? Co sective? For me, state of mind is
the most important my state? How is my state of mind?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
It doesn't depend on our situations.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
There are situations, there are people, they come and go.
But what you can put on too is your state
of mind.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Now you're finding a solution for hy corporate culture. We
see a lot of smoking happening.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Smoking is giving them that much of relief caffeine.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Is giving You can think in that moment of yes.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Because they feel this is giving them a leak, but
they don't understand this is again poisoning them.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Jag Shashi, it's nice we happen to get this time
with you. How are you feeling to share your time
with us today, especially on a podcast that was good?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Nice sharing for people. It's always good.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You love to spending time with people. Of course, you know,
I was just thinking when I was coming with you
how should I address you? How should people know you?
So I asked you how do you define yourself? And
you told me I call myself Bendas. So I want
to know what is the reason for you to know
yourself as bendas?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
See? To feel bindas is like you know, to feel
totally free. For me, freedom is the most important aspect.
If you're free, then you can create a sense of
belonging with other person. And once you create a sense
of belonging, then there are no barriers. You can you know,
(03:19):
the other person feels so connected. You can feel connected
with the person and they feel very relaxed. How you
can make the other person comfortable with your presence? That's
very important, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Then I have to ask you what freedom are you
looking for? Freedom from?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
What?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
From your own thoughts? From people asking you answerability?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
What is the freedom? Is just freedom? It's nothing to
do with people, your thoughts. You just relaxed, just tripped,
and you don't want anything. You're not looking for anything
you know in life? Sure passa metrip to I'm connected
(04:12):
with the divinity.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Connected with the divinity, absolutely be a divinity is a
connect work in Kaohami, experience freedom by divinity.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I mean connected to your own self. Okay, that's divinity
for me. See you, Actually you connect with yourself always.
Everybody does it, but sometimes you do it without awareness
and sometimes you do it with awareness. When you do
it with awareness, it's a very beautiful experience because you
(04:45):
have to connect with yourself. Body is just there to express.
But see you, when you're talking, sometimes you want to
take sip of water. That's you relax at that point,
you take it some deep breaths. That's you do it
(05:05):
unknowingly or knowingly. You have to do that, yes, but
if you do it with your awareness, then it's a
different thing altogether. At that point, the awareness feeling of
whatever you are doing is freedom. You're not bounded, you
(05:25):
don't have any doors and dons. There's no barrier. There's
such a feeling of abundance inside. There's no lack, so
much of positivity.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
You know, when we were talking the other day, we
thought what will be your topic of discussion with you?
And then I took time and I got a meeting
with you. You have a beautiful garden cafe. It's a
legendary place. No body in Calcutta can say we have
all visited and the moment I went in the cafe
I was meeting you for I've only seen your Guru
(06:02):
story videos which got viral five years back, and when
I saw you, I was constantly thinking what will I
talk to her about? Will I talk to her about
her journey, her transformation or the say what you're doing?
But the instant thing happened with me. Also what you
just said was connect. So then I said that I'll
(06:22):
call her Shashi connects. Okay, so we have this podcast
calling it a Shushi Connects. And also we want to
know why should she connects? Because that is what today
we as youngsters are also are trying to understand. So
let's begin with that aspect. Why should she connect so much?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
See Bye? For me, connect is connecting.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
To yourself, but you connect with others also.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Only first you connect with yourself, you can connect with others.
You have to be connected with yourself. Then the awareness
is there, and then automatically you connect with others whosoever
without having any any judgments, without you know who the
(07:17):
person is, what the person comes from, how is he
doing or nothing. You just connect and then that vibration
goes to the world. It's all about vibrations. And the
other person catches this vibration, then he opens up. And
when you open to each other, you get a very
good experience. And there's a kind of lightness in the communication.
(07:44):
And you wanted to give How can you be supportive
to the other person? What can you do for the
other person instead of what I can get out of person?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
But is there no thought of being misused because they
don't connect? Courage? There to hong Ko thought process.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
By connection, I mean you're doing it with awareness, and
in that awareness feeling, there's very good, very beautiful positive energy.
There's no way that the person can you know, take things.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Out of you, even if he's in a negative energy.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
That he becomes positive in your presence. It's all about presence,
you know the end. Everybody has that positivity inside and
with that positivity that energy that transforms.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
But we always say a key positive logosage negative. Do
you believe that?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Do you only look for positive presence? Your negative co
positive quick negatived kiko or negativity fellas actor, it's positive kidnap,
but a positivity with a fellas that.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Have you ever gone through any situation in life like
this where you thought that person is completely in his
own space and you have to deal with him that time.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I come across many people. In fact, I mean I
get an opportunity, ample opportunity in my cafe itself. When
i'm there, I mean I don't need to be there,
we have managers, and but I get a chance to
interact with people there, random people. So somebody will just
(09:44):
come by herself and sitting alone, hungry, has a meal.
I just say hello to her, and you know, then
we start the conversation and I just offer myself to
the person, and the person feels so good, and then
(10:08):
the person comes back also and I feel very It's
such a satisfactory feeling.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
You put your guards down.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Huh No, See if when you are aware, most of
the things are taken care of. And by awareness, I
mean you need to be connected, Like like I'm talking
to you now. If I'm not connected, I'll not be
(10:47):
answering your question. You know, we what you want? Mm hm,
you get my point. But if I'm connected to myself,
then I'll be at ease. I'll make you also comfortable
(11:07):
talking to me. Otherwise there'll be kind of a stiffness
between each other. And when you're stiff, you're not true
to yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
True, you know there's something we've also known that. There's
the idea that you have lived all your life is
yes mind. What does it mean when you say yes mind?
You say you don't say no at all?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You say yes, say in my dictionary, I don't have
anything to say no. What will you say no to?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
You don't want to do something, you don't want to
go somewhere, somebody tells you, come, come with me, let's
do this.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Okay, we'll do it another day.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
But you prefer to offer yourself to experiences.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Obviously in life it is to offer yourself, but with awareness.
Every time I see with awareness, and that comes only
by meditation, which, of course my gurup, we have learned.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
We will get to know that journey. But I do
want to know that when we stay in a yes
mind and we go towards many things call, everybody is
getting more confused, more options, more choices, more confusion. You're
running a cafe, but there's so many cafes in the city,
so everybody is all the time choosing. So when we
stay with an attitude we say yes to everything, where
(12:35):
do we stop? How do we choose? Isiko? So what
is the attitude we all should develop.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
See, there's a proper meal on your plate with everything
you have something but something sweet, some things, you know, chili,
All kinds of varieties are there and you like to
(13:11):
you know the If you taste everything, then it makes
up a good meal, a proper meal. And you know,
you can only know where to stop. If you don't stop,
then you do over indulgence and then it bothers you.
So what happens in life. Also when you're in meditation,
(13:36):
when you have a feeling of abundance, and when you
have a positivity, the yes mind comes automatically. One doesn't
have to work for it. And once it comes automatically,
you know also where to stop, how much to go further,
where to stop, what not to do, what to do.
(14:00):
But there is a yes to it in the manner
like if you ask me, come, let's go Fir for
dinner tonight, and I'm the person who eats very early,
I said, okay, I will come with you and I'll
give you company. I mean, you know what you have
(14:26):
to do and what you don't have to do. But
if in your presence, if the person feels good and comfortable,
then why not.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
You're not Richard, that I eat early, I can't come.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Rigidity will not make you flexible, and.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
All flex librity doesn't let you really achieve.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
You to have a discipline. Okay, but the discipline should
be limited at some limit. Should not be that discipline
that you become rigid, because flexibility is very very important
to feel freedom, to feel comfortable, to make others comfortable.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
And what is discipline to the extent.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
You know? How much, ever is required to the bare minimum?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Not if it is giving me fixation. If it is
giving me friction, then I wouldn't go for it, which
I will able to understand. If this is giving me friction,
if I'm not comfortable with it, I just walk out
of first.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Any moment of friction cannot lead to something good.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Friction is a absolutely you know it. It will bother you.
If friction is there, it will bother you. See. For me,
state of mind is the most important. My state. How
is my state of mind?
Speaker 1 (15:56):
It doesn't depend on our situations.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
There are situations, there are people, they come and go,
But what you can hold on to is your state
of mind.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Even if the situation doesn't.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
So there's a chaos around, but your state of mind
could be still okay, So you want to find that's
the real piece. Just sitting up there in your room
alone or going to some mountains or beach and just
want to be there. What big deal about that piece?
(16:34):
But there's a confusion, there's a commotion and there if
you're able to be at peace with yourself, that's called connection,
that's called awareness.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Even suppose I have a hectic day, there's so much
to do, yet can we rest in between?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Can we find that whenever you feel a little friction
in the midst of so much of activities, just take
out little time. A few couple of breads will make
you relaxed. Why people have tea and coffee so much?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I don't know. It's caffeine addict.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
That they gradually get it addicted, But why they won't
They just wants to be just let go. They just
want to be away from for a moment. But they
don't know that can happen.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Now you're finding a solution for why corporate culture we
see a lot of smoking happening.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Smoking is giving them that much of.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Relief they can think in that moment of.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yes, because they feel this is giving them relief but
they don't understand this is again poisoning them. But this
relief can come without the poisoning, which just a few breaths.
That's the best. And we have done it in our life.
We do it every day. You know, when you're very upset,
(18:02):
very angry. You said, you do it automatically in your system.
The system does it for you. But if you do it,
that's so.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
This awakeness allows us to break free when we want,
not when situation goes so tough that you just give up.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
And then you get into all these habits.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
I think the first thing I might leave now is coffee,
or be aware when i'm having it.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
When you have coffee. I'm not saying one shouldn't have coffee,
there's nothing wrong, but that should not be the reason
for you to get rested. You have it once to
enjoy the does the companies there just a few SIPs?
That's all you have? Chocolates chocolate is also there. It
(18:56):
should not be that.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Ye do you start the body again, lack of awareness?
We start demanding.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Coffee. Yeah, otherwise I'm not able to think.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
You know one one thing I do want to take
it from here before I have to ask about Your
life's journey is the world of yeares also create. There
is a simultaneous world of homo. You've heard the fear
of missing out. Now you're here, so I kind of
have felt that you're always in the present even now.
(19:39):
So how do you not feel yet you're missing out something?
Suppose there's something happening beginn ashroom and you're here, so
that fomo hits you as it's a term we gave,
but it was always there.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
See, when you're with yourself, you don't miss out anything.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
What are you saying? A lot of people who couldn't
go to a lot of people who can't do this
do that.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
See, when you're constantly with yourself, all these things come
to you by itself. You don't have to, you know,
feverish about it or think you know the sleep is gone, or.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Keep thinking you miss it you regret now.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
No, you just it happens to you. The nature will
bring it to you. I mean the com happened to
me like that. I didn't have to be working so
much for it now. For example, Siam two is happening.
I was also booked for it, but for some reasons
(20:40):
I'm not going because my husband, my husband was going
and he wants to go, and if I'm also there,
he'll you know, he'll not be fully there for Siam,
He'll be thinking, what's happening to this? So he said,
I want to give him full participation. So for me
that is more important than for me doing it. I
(21:02):
will go to the other one and it will happen.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
This is contentment, I mean, see, real.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Feeling is you know, contented, abundance, positivity, belongingness with people.
That's the very beautiful thing. You know, once you have belongingness.
People who come to you with negative energy, they turn around.
(21:34):
We ourselves create a preconceived idea, so and so person
is like this, and so and so behavior is expected.
So how can you be connecting with the person? Can't connect?
(21:54):
So you just stop labeling and then.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
You share something incidents about your life where you got
aware of your ability to connect. You just you just
realized I just connected with him. Are they any stories?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Yeah, there's plenty. I mean the big ones also and
small ones in daily life which happens. And I will
tell you a small one which just happened to me
(22:36):
in my cafe the other day. This gentleman very well dressed.
He came with his family to have a meal and
somehow I greeted him, welcomed him. He also reciprocreated and
then he offered me to sit.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
And did he know you the owner?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
At that point he didn't know. And then he said
he had come with his children and grandchildren, and then
he started telling me. I sat for a few seconds.
He started, you know what is my major problem? I said, huh,
you know article but chess parents And his son was
(23:30):
like a forty old guy. I said, Moya, but you
don't hey, h b Fren. The son was so happy
(24:01):
to hear this.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
He said, pa, was he convinced?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
No? Then he said, yes, habit close friends. Then I said,
kaa madina visit. He was a Muslim. I said, young
(24:36):
married sister. And he said, but so these are the
ways you know when you connect and when you don't want.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
When you were talking, you didn't know to go to
this conversation.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Absolutely not so major ones. Also when we had this
World Culture Festival. Also, there are also a lot of.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Time you could actually convince the even the protocols around
Prime Minister office is very rigid. How do you break
through rigidity? Because they are literally.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
You have to be available and only when rigidity breaking
is there you can experience that mood.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
What did you really convince them the way you wanted
to go?
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I just became friendly with the paying off office people.
Nobody there's so many people didn't offer them food and
in the heat and all water and first for two days,
three days. You know, I was genuinely became friendly, not
(25:59):
to get things, not to please them, absolutely not. They
get the work done. But when they were very open
and friendly, then I asked what is there how to
go about it? They said, why don't we have a
new setup for the Prime Minister. I said, yeah, we'll
(26:21):
do it. Let's do that, And that's how it happened.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Because they now when you say you're being friendly, you
think people are not friendly to people in higher position.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Everybody wants to get something out of the post m
and you know to the higher position people are more
in respect with the chair person will go and come
the chair is the important? Become important?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
It is the Prime minister chair and not in the model.
But just like for us, you have.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
A respect for the chair and love for the person.
Things sorted?
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Can we do that together? Like why are respecting their
position which they've worn through their hard work.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Absolutely loved with the person. It's very important. In the chair.
You can have a respect for the chair, love and
respect to go site together. Then that's it and it
should be together in fact simultaneously. See if you just
(27:30):
have respect, keep that other person away from you, and
you just have love, you take things for granted, possessiveness
and things will develop.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
So balance.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah, it's so much of feverishness, possessiveness. Then that love.
You know, it's not love. But when love and respect
both are there, that thing will not happen.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Suppose you're married for how many years now?
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Thirty seven thirty?
Speaker 1 (27:57):
So in that relationship that you have, you maintain bore love, respect.
Respect means you can't shout. Is that what you will respect?
Speaker 2 (28:04):
No? No, we have difference of opinion. We argue also,
but he has freedom. I also have my own freedom.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Respect allows you to put your point through. Y Is
it okay? If you are yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, I mean see I again tell you go into arguments,
but not in a heated You should not be boiling inside.
If you're boiling, then that you know the the person
and the point is not important. Your doership comes or
(28:42):
you know, oh, my point is only.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Right, but with the argument only the boiling starts.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Stop there.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
This is what you do when you in your relation
the way too.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I told you, whenever that you're feeling well talking to
anybody or any situation, if there's a friction, slightest of
the prision, don't get that friction to the boiling point.
Just then you need to sit back, observe your breath,
connect to your soul, and then come back. Then he'll
(29:19):
be in a more positive manner, will bounce back easily.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Your journey with the art of living started on its own,
or it happened through some situation in life.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
That was in nineteen eighty seven. But and it was happening.
The program was happening right across Mayor. I was not
married then right Maya my parents house, and God himself
was taking the program, and there was some kind of
I was all happy and quite flamboyant, and you know,
(29:57):
I was good in academics and I just finish my graduation.
Then something was I was looking for, which I didn't
know what I was looking for. I didn't understand what
spirituality neither religion would you know, interest me going to
(30:17):
temples and all that was not my cup of tea,
but something I was looking for. And when I did
the course that I could make out that this is
what I want.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
So there was a situation you didn't know what you're
looking for, but there was some kind of seeking.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I could not relate myself. But when I got into
the program and I with being with his wisdom, then
I could understand, yes, something that.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
And what has changed in Shashi?
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Then?
Speaker 1 (30:53):
And now? Through time you have they say you evolved,
you became your running course.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
You grew definitely, you become more easy with people. Your temperament,
emotions are taken care of. You don't get so emotional.
You are a very balanced life. I'm not saying I
don't get angry at all, but now when I get angry,
(31:20):
it's is very short lived. And at the same time,
you have to get things done because I multiple things.
I make sure that somebody, some vote is anger like
its anger is. You are not in yourself. You are
you are punishing yourself from some other's fault. So it's
(31:46):
a very foolish thing to do that. So whenever something
like this comes up, it's very easy for me. You know,
I have to stop here and wait for a while,
let the situation pass, and then explain the person is.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
So, your journey has let you go through many milestones.
Even after coming on the path of practicing meditation, you
have grown into it.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
It's always, there's no end to it. You'll always grows
always upward journey. There's no there's no round.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
How has your family got into this? How did they adapted?
Did you make them go through the process.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
My husband was following, but I didn't convince Himore this
is better, that is better compared or any time. But
I prayed to go there silently that you know, if
it comes here, it'll be more good for him. And
(32:53):
that's how it happened. And my extended family is seeing
me going through any situations, handling situations. They also got
into it gradually. But I never forced or pressurized anybody
or trying to prove myself this is better and one
should do this. You know, conviction counts, not convincing is
(33:18):
not required.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
No, I thought it's more important.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
It is well to convince your conviction.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
How you were, what you're doing, you have conviction people
absolutely Today your san chief is I think he's doing
a lot of Siva he's so dedicatedly there for the
ash room. Your younger son is into full business management.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Not businessman. He is an artist, but he I.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Think with the kaffe also he helps around.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
No, no, he's a total artist. He lives in Bali now.
He was in the ashroom for four years during COVID.
He had his class blowing studio there and he's he's
a shishioga teacher.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
So they have also aligned on on absolutely.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
When you see, when you have a very prayerful feeling
mindset and when you have a guru in life, all
this very easily, you can do it. Guru in life
is very very important. All these things are taken care
(34:24):
of very easily.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
What is the secret of your dynamics? You're known for
being a very frank person and combination of wit. So
how how does this flow out of you? You always
had a sense of humor, you developed.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
This hard it comes automatic. I'm one of us. I
don't prepare myself much. I'm in fact at all, I
don't prepare at all, and I'm natural.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
You like you? You you can answer back. Sarcasm plays
more with you? Or what what.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Do you circa? Sarcasm is basically put the other person down,
which no, no, which I don't like it because I'm
here to have a belonging to the person, not to
put the person down.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
There are a situations we've seen sarcastic people can actually
create a little uncomfortable zone.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
So that's not how do you answer?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
How do you for me?
Speaker 2 (35:23):
I create a connection with the person, So doesn't play
a role here.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
If we want to explain someone something, you have your
own way of conveying your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
See, first I be with the person, create a belongingness,
like I just narrated the story and the person opens
up and then we relate to each other. And then
suddenly I got this thought of going to mccammadina. So
(36:00):
I related it with him and he was all okay
with it. So it's in. It has to be in
a very easy, natural way, without getting things anything from
the other post.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
This thought has to be there because it is quite
normal and human. If I become friends with someone very
powerful or famous, your mind can tell you, now I
know him, I might get this benefit. It is quite natural.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
See when you're contented, when you have a guru in life.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
These thoughts are not natural. You don't want to capitalize
on everything.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
It's not required. See if things come to you easily,
even before the thought you want in the jungle, you
want a sundation, it comes to you. What more you want.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Now that you told me you connect? Do you use
your connections and networking in place to get yourself some
benefits like.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
The benefits not for myself but if it is in
a bigger perspective then for the society, yes, but not
to the other person also it helps then.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Of course, but not for your own privilege that you
don't suppose.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
I don't need it. I'm all. It's all there.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
You can follow the rules. You don't follow the rules.
I know the traffic incident, So without following the rules,
you make your way.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
I see rules and regulations. I mean, do you know
the other rules? If you don't know, then, but yes,
certain you know stuff, which is of course you are
in a society community you need to. But beyond that,
(37:50):
if it bothers me, it becomes a barrier to me,
then I don't. I know. I can get my work done.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
I know, I know. I was amazed with the story
of yours. You were crossing the signal. You know, you
were not on the right side of the law that time,
and you very nicely pacified him to be friendly with you.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yeah, it just offered him because it was so much
of heat, and I knew that he needs somewhat. I said,
I offered him water and he was fine with me.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
He didn't say very license on money.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
So what jeruie Ames?
Speaker 1 (38:33):
What is that?
Speaker 2 (38:34):
So? You know, just soul to soul. Once you be
with your soul, you know the person is also the same.
He's also a human, whether be a celebrity or not
a celebrity or a simple peon, it's also human being
first year a human then everything you know carry.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
When you say guruz needed in life, you found one.
How is it different when you have a guru in person?
Now you meet Guruji? Also, how does it give you
a different experience someone not meeting him and you meeting him?
How is that whole world different for you?
Speaker 2 (39:16):
See, Guru helps you. It's very easy to say connect
yourself with your soul and words is very but Guru
in life makes you experience that. Once you experience and
if you keep experiencing, then it becomes easier. Day by
(39:39):
day you're able to do it.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
You don't struggle through it.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
There's no nothing, will struggle and problem anything in my life.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Because I see people question this. Then are so many
special organizations? Are there? So many gurus are there? What
do we understand? Kaho jaiga insani? So did you ever
feel like with Gurugi you're in a different.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
See when I did the program, then somehow something triggered
inside me about spirituality. So in Calcutta in winters, that
was a wintertime. Many these as you said, they come,
they they give their courses and all that, and I went,
(40:26):
I read a lot of books and somehow I was resonating.
You know, everything all is you know they're talking the
same things. But with I was able to you know,
my personality blossomed. I became my very emotionally balanced. You know,
(40:53):
my wants, my needs were very clarified. You know, I
didn't have much needs. My wants also desires as you say.
And then I wanted more and more people to get
into it. And the once you get more and more people,
whatever you have earned and gained it becomes more solidified.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Okay, you don't want to hold it that this is
my knowledge, I keep it.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
I don't want to share unless you share. See a
small little riskul of some nice shop you want you
share a nice movie. You see something and something which
is so close to you, so have blossomed you. How
can you just keep it to yourself? You have to
share and that's it. And once you share, then that
(41:46):
blessings both or.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
The she is there age to connect? Do we need
to think pelisara chief card.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
To achieve?
Speaker 1 (42:02):
But if content complex and I will not go with
so much.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Content by content means not a passive kind of content.
Content means yeah, skilly cacker, that kind of content.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
That will allow us to become more entrepreneur Also because.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
If entrepreneur is like what is entrepreneurs simple as says,
you will not do to your vendor anything like that
which you don't want. You will not do to your
customers anything like that which you don't want a vendor
to do to you. Okay, that's business.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
This is what I loved what said and I apply
this in my life with my business.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Business is ruthless. What you're saying, destiny.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
To see if my business, if my restaurant is run
by my managers, my staff and all that they are
doing so much for you, how will you what do
you want to how will you get that profits unless
they are the ones were running I go on and now,
(43:19):
but they're their full time. That's their livelihood more than
me earning profits. It's livelihood for them. So they are
equally you know, there with you. So you have to
be with them one to one. I'm not saying you
have to sit in eat with them, but prame maybe
(43:47):
my business cap party. They are also stakeholders.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Now you've come through all this experience of life, what
is that you want to do? Now you're doing everything
and is there a list you know what you want
to do ahead? What are the achievements more that you
want to you're running?
Speaker 2 (44:06):
I mean, I don't know. There's some thoughts of last
some a few months or a year or two thoughts
like you know, what did have been raw? Agent? What
are you saying something like this? You know, it gives
me a lot of thrill. Become quite an adventurous person.
(44:28):
So I mean, I would also like to go to
some kind of places where you know, it's very troublesome.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Yeah, like you see in the world around now a
lot of wars and situation.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Like wars in situations, war zone and all that. But
that's okay, but you know where undercover? You know what
you can? How can you.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
When things are not planned? Because this because decisions.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
I like christ management. Okay, you know because moment to
moment what you can? You know you have a plan,
you go with your plan and certainly there's something happens
you have to switch. So that switch, you know, switch
to plan plan. You don't plan be your plan C
(45:15):
because that also might fail at some point. But there
is some divine plan for you.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
You have identified what helped you when you were doing
crisis management for astroom in that space.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
So what do you do if I was telling you
not the stage for the PM that was?
Speaker 1 (45:35):
So did you identify what is that skill in you
which we can also.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
Develop availability skill company later on just to be available skill.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
You you are confident in any kind of crisis. You
might not know the technique, but you'll figure it out
that moment because we don't want.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
To star the grace flows. I told you know that
if you're available, the divinity is there. You just walk
one step and the difinity takes you ahead. And I'm
sure you have experienced you know, whatever you want, whatever
you plan, everything doesn't happen according to you, there's some
(46:16):
other divinity plan. The nature runs with the divine plan.
It's not by the internal organs. Is you're not anything
for internal organs?
Speaker 1 (46:26):
What a few things that Shashi has to do when
she wakes up, Like if I had a time, I
would have wanted to spend a day with Sashi. Would
I know or is it every day a new Shashi?
I wouldn't be able to.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
I see every day a new.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
Are there some fixed things we definitely see you do
morning chai chai?
Speaker 2 (46:48):
I mean I don't go for fixation. First of all,
I don't have a fixed routine in my life. But yes,
I do meditate, if requires three times sometimes four times
a day. Also that is a must.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
This is and.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
I do yoga also, which is not fixed all days.
And I would not like to do a pattern in
a pattern. I don't like very patent kind of stuff.
You know, sometimes I'll do this, sometimes I'll do that.
I always like to do something different, and also feel
(47:33):
life should be more, you know, it is not the
same kind every day. And when I get up also
I said, it's a new day for me.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
You're not You're not carried on to the monotony.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Of it's very easy for me to to just forget
and forgive. I can easily do it. Forgiveness is for me.
It's very easy.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
I think I've got the whole credit of how your
network works, how you charge yourself, and how you connect.
It's a great tool because for a long time we
had been thinking and I've heard so much about you.
I think it's not just because of your work or
your presence. It's also because I think you've connected with
so many people. Before I could even see or think
(48:20):
of you, or I even thought who am I going
to next, people started telling me and then I was like,
what do I have to do? They let nothing, she
will do it. I said, well, what will I talk?
It's like that, or what she will do? You just talkless.
So now I know why it happens. It is not
just that you connect because of your skill of communication,
but I think you're so connected to yourself that all
(48:43):
the skills are getting you know, coming inside you and
working out in your favor.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
And the Guru does it for you.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
You give that credit to him.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
Of course, I wouldn't have been here without you.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
You know, on the burden of the creditors that will
the old total leave us with one Winda's attitude thing.
What you do you like singing? Are you a singer?
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Yeah? Of course a bathroom singer. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
So anything that you want to leave us with the
thing that defines your bindas moments.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Mm hmm. Once you do you know, whatever they enjoy,
not with the sake of a but ms must job.
(49:41):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
What is your thought? Your husband's thought about your share that?
What does he call you?
Speaker 2 (49:49):
He calls me bindas and he says, we have two opposites,
and the equator is the Guru. And he's very well planned,
his discipline.
Speaker 1 (50:02):
He has all the things that you don't align.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
With absolutely and he you know, he dresses up well,
his meetings are all setting and absolutely and I'm totally opposite.
Then don't go with how do you connect? Well?
Speaker 1 (50:19):
How do you guys?
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Because we opposite, they compliment each other.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
It was lovely talking to you. I think this is
going on. There's so many things. I actually wanted to
go more, but I want to bring it more in
detailed chapters. Otherwise, people, we have seen your Guru Stories
series also when it was really nice and I didn't
want to start Guru story today. I was like if
I start, I would have to sit here for the
longest time. But this whole understanding of connect is important
(50:47):
because with that only we will be able to go
where we are headed out. And since you inspire the youth,
this is the thing we are missing. We're looking for
everything outside.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
My heart is with the youths and in India is
a youth country. Part of living is youth organization. And
once the youth are able to be loving and respecting,
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
I think now the answer will be to connect with self,
we will find a direction. Absolutely otherwise we come to you.
I will make sure everyone has a contact. You have
the solution.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
I am there for everybody.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Thank you so much as it was a pleasure to
have you.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
Thank you uncle
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