November 10, 2025 • 45 mins
Ever feel like you lost yourself somewhere between school drop-off and a mountain of laundry? Rachel Marie Martin, best selling author of The Brave Art of Motherhood and Finding Joy on Facebook, joins the Moms to remind us that you still matter, your dreams still count, and your spark isn't gone . . . it's just buried under snack wrappers. Laugh. Cry. Reignite. (Tag a Mom who needs this reminder!).
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome moms. Welcome to Inside the Mom's Club. I'm your host,
Monica Samuels, and I'm here with my co host, Julie Orchid.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello, Julie, how are you today?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I'm terrific today. It's it's a beautiful day here in
Los Angeles.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Yeah, I mean it's always pretty when we come. And yeah,
I've had a little bit of bug of wanting to
move here sometimes.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I know you do every once in a while, wile
you're driving your showing me houses, you like say the.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Reason that you for no reason, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we we have an exciting
show today, like the sun wereciting. Yeah, we're very stoked.
We have a really great guest. And one of the
things that we were.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Questioning about a lot of people, Well, you were.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Asking me last week because we were talking about this,
like what gives you joy? You asked me.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Yeah, I think it's hard, Like it's a hard joy,
Like what makes you smile and feel content? And I've
really worked on my list in the last twenty four hours.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Okay, well let me hear your list, because I still
working online.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Well, I honestly feel that you know, people think that
when you're like, oh, how do you break the mundane?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Where do you find your joy?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
And you you feel like you have to do something
like travel around the world or you know, do something
that's so grandiose that you, you know, need to be able
to speak that. But for me, it's been finding little rituals.
My little ritual in the morning and of what I
do my animals. Going to the dog park for me
has become pure joy. That's something.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Coffee is pure joy. It's just little things.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
You know, road trips, and I will say some of
the traveling in the last five years that I've done
has been great. It's brought joy, it's brought healing, and
I couldn't say enough about it. What about you, I'm
not talented, so I can't do anything like art, guitar, sing,
any of that. I can do all so yeah, yeah,
of course.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Actually you know what so so for our for our
Instagram and our TikTok, we have to do well. I
have to do these funny skits basically in characters and things.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
You are funny.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I actually get joy out of that now because last
night when you asked me, the first thing I said was, well,
I used to love being my son's team mom of
the baseball team. That gave me tremendous joy. And yet
you pointed out that's through your kids. Is that really you?
That's getting well?
Speaker 3 (02:24):
I think it's important to know that people kind of
you wake up and you're like, wait, I've lost a
little bit, like we're going to talk about today, a
little bit of my spark?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Who am I? Who am I?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
You know, when the kids aren't in and out of
the house every day and you've given so much that
how could you not feel like, you know a little
bit like, oh I need to revamp.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Yeah, And that's a lot of energy.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Your identity over those years of having kids just get
tied up to that.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Well.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
For the years that we had my husband and I
had the Disney Vacation Club, and so we went to
Disney so much because we had to, because we spent
some money on it that everyone thought that gave me
great joy. And maybe it did at the time.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I don't know if you have it too through like
twenty nineties. Who knows that's joy?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, joy of some sort, But I mean, you know so,
but if I enjoyed it with the kids, and I
do like to travel now, so that's good and yeah,
we've done that. Getty more of a list now that
I think about it. I take I have great joy
when I go to Susie's Cakes and get their old
fashioned chocola. That gives me joy.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It's a lemon Yeah, yeah, you like the lemon war.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, there are things, but that's the thing, you know.
I wrote a book years ago called Comeback Moms, and
it was for women who wanted to take time off
from work and stay home with their kids and then
have be able to reconnect back to the work world later.
And like we always said, what what's your next act
going to be? What what's your comeback? And to look yet,
I think and that's when you have to also decide,
(03:54):
you know, what do I care about? Like what tell
me about me?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Well, what I've decided is that even if your day
is like just steady and you're not doing a lot,
that day counts. Today counts. And I have started to
really journal and really find maybe one or two things
out of the day that fills you with gratitude. Gratitude
is no joke if you really lean into it. I
(04:20):
mean I'm not a motivational speaker, sound like one, right, now,
but I'm not. I'm just saying gratitude is huge, Like
if you can pick one or two things, I think
that that brings me joy as well. And I could
now talk about this all day. When I had trouble
even finding.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I know less now we were strung Like the first one,
you said that what gives you joy? And I thought, maybe.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
That's why we've been up since two fifteen am.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Blood did wake up at two thirty this morning, but
that that did not give me joy. Asmnan does not listen.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I think it's a question that a lot of women
ask themselves, and I think that my friends and I
have been talking about it because I'm recently.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Three weeks out of not having any children at home.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I think, I hope you know because you're really trying
to come back. Yeah, they can't come back, but I'm
just saying, like, you have to, really, you have to
really reinvent yourself.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
And we owe it to ourselves. Heck, we are people too,
and we get to enjoy stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Well, absolutely, because as moms, we we have to be
there for everybody. Yeah, we're there for our husbands, we're
there for the kids, we're there for the pets. I
mean and I love the pets. But I mean it's
like everything, like at some points, what about and you
don't want to seem selfish or feel like you're being selfish?
But you know, what about me? And then to where
(05:40):
you even question what do I like?
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Right?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
I like to trash the to do list. That's my
thing lately.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
And it gets a little annoying because that to do
list gets long.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
But I'm enjoying myself.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Well, this is a great subject, and so we have
the very best person. We have an expert in the.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Strate on this whole subject, and I'm so excited to
have her here to see how she can this.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
She is the author behind the very popular site Finding
joy dot net and several books, Get Your Spark Back,
Mom Enough and Brave The Brave Art of Motherhood. Her
content has been featured on The Today Show, Good Morning
American and countless publications and get this Julie. She is
the mother to a blended family of eleven children.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Oh my, what's amazing?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Is right?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Please? Yes, welcome Rachel Marie Martin. Welcome to the Mom's Clue.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
I'm so glad to be here, and yes that is
I am the mom to eleven kids and a dog
because we weren't busy enough.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, because you needed to add more. Yes, right, yes, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Wow. What are the age ranges of the kids? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Okay, well they change. My husband always says they change
every year. But I know one is turning sixteen tomorrow.
He's the youngest. Of the oldest is twenty nine.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Oh my gosh. What a busy house.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Yeah, it is busy, but I will tell you it's
not as busy as when they were all ten and
under that age. Oh that is a different type of busy.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah, that's so true. That's so true.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
And you know you're running on fumes at those ages, right, yeah,
so true.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah yeah, so tell us, So, tell our audience a
little bit about your backstory. How did you come to
your prolific writer? People follow you, they get inspiration from
your words online. How did that all start? What led
to that?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Well? I always say I always liked to write, but
in the early two thousand, so I'm going to kind
of date myself here, I was in Yahoo group and
I was writing and somebody said, hey, you should start
a blog, and I was like, okay, I'll do that.
And for me in those days, that was in my
first marriage, and it wasn't exactly I always say, it
wasn't healthy, it wasn't the right thing, and writing became
(07:53):
an outlet for me, and the title Finding Joy actually
came from that because I was so trapped with in
this what I well, I thought I was trapped within.
This confines that I decided to go out on a
journey similar to what you did last night and look
for joy in the midst and that became the name
of the blog. Well, I just kept going at it,
(08:16):
pursuing joy and encouraging specifically moms in the beginning, but
now it's kind of morphed into women in midlife how
to go about finding joy, especially when life doesn't look
like what we thought it would look.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I mean it's important to note that,
like right out of the gate, you weren't like, you know,
find joy, fine joy, find joy. I mean you had
I think you had seven kids?
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Correct?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Seven? I do you do?
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I mean you know what I mean, like you had
seven of your own and then added, but I'm saying,
like this wasn't something that you did right away, like
you said, like I mean, people think you explained it
in a way like ABC, like that doesn't really what
life is about. And it's annoying that people think if
you do A, you're gonna get B and that's you know,
nothing's ever Leaniar. So I'm really grateful that you spoke
(09:08):
to that. But how with everything that you had go on,
this divorce, your son living far away. Those are just
a couple of examples. But how did you come to
the grips of.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
All everything that you write about?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
You have an amazing following, you know obviously on Facebook
and other places, like where did you find that? Where
did you find the joy and to write about it?
Speaker 4 (09:34):
You know, people ask me that all the time. I
actually think because I really believe we all have these
like superpowers that we tap into. And for me, it
was this vulnerable this willingness to be vulnerable and to
write about what we're all feeling. We're feeling we were
feeling overwhelmed, or we were feeling frustrated, or what I
(09:54):
found is a lot of women, a lot of moms
felt alone. And so instead of making it look perfectly packaged,
especially in the early days of social media, I would
start to write about things like to the mom who
feels like she's failing because I was feeling like it.
But I never wanted them to leave with Wow, let's
just all feel like we're failing. I wanted to turn
(10:17):
the page, to turn the perspective and it to be like,
I want you to start to notice the little things
that really matter, like where you were talking about the
coffee or your dog or sometimes I even say, the
fact that that your coffee stayed warm just a little
bit longer, you know, because sometimes it doesn't.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
And when it's cold, it's so miserable.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Part of life, that little posture of really trying to
look for something that's good in the every day, because
sometimes the day might not be a great day, but
there's something that might be good within it.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, so now your recent, but get your spark back.
Mm HMMD So you lose your spark and you like,
tell us about the sparks had.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Eleven kids, Monica. I mean, there's gonna be some smart spark.
Demy like, yeah, like come on.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, tell the explain that to the audience.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
So all right, well it goes.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
I fought after I got divorced. I was like the
single mom. I was on fire, and I really fought
to get my life in order, and when you have
to be super strong, sometimes you don't realize everything else
that's you just you're just in full motion. And I
ended up getting remarried right at the beginning of twenty twenty,
(11:39):
like a couple weeks before the world shut down, right,
And then in the process of when we were all
locked down, all of a sudden, I thought I had
this moment of like, well, who am I now? Who
am I? As a writer? Because I would write. I
wrote about those single mom years. I wrote about my
financial struggles. I wrote all about that, and I didn't
know what the pit it was. And my kids were
(12:02):
getting older, the kids were graduating, they were they were
going off to college, and I all of a sudden,
I remember looking at myself thinking, I don't know me.
I know what I'm good at. I know that I'm
good at being a mom. I know I'm productive. I
know I can write, I can do that, But who
am I? At the core? And that to me was
(12:23):
this journey of getting my own spark back. And I
went on a massive journey without knowing it, about figuring
out who I was so much that my readers actually
started to write in and ask how do I get
my spark back? And I thought, oh my goodness, this
is what they're asking. They're witnessing it evolve in me,
(12:43):
and that was the inspiration for the book.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yeah, that's fantastic. What's the year been like?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
I know that this book came out correct me if
I'm wrong, but in August of twenty twenty four, So
you've had a whole year of you know, getting just
the ride of it.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
What's it like?
Speaker 4 (12:58):
It's it's amazing. I think the most unbelievable part for
me is to get to meet so many people along
the way, so many people that have that moment of
you know what, I can do this, because that's always
been my mission, is if I can be a spark
of hope for somebody else, so they can look at
their life and they can be like, you know what,
(13:20):
I am so worth and so worthy of figuring out
who I am right now and taking back and doing
it without guilt. I know in the beginning you were
talking about sometimes it feels selfish, and I just want
to flip the narrative and be like, it's so giving
to take care of yourself. It's so when you take
care of your own self you're inspiring your friends to
(13:42):
but you're also modeling to our kids. Look, it is
worth it to invest in our own stories.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Well, I think being depleted now my new model is
being depleted is dumb. Like I mean, honestly, like being
depleted of energy, being depleted of your you know what
I mean, not giving back to you yourself like. And
I think that she has a really good point. Taking
care of yourself is huge, well.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Right, because how can you contribute productively if you're depleted,
if you're not.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
If you're feeling Monica did not like that. I just said,
depleted is dumb?
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Do you I liked it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I thought, do you have Yeah, I did like it.
I didn't say do you do you have a travel
around and talking to some of your audience. Do you
have a favorite story of someone who got their spark
back and told you you know, hey, I credit you
and here's what happened.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
No, there's so many little stories that have happened. But
the one that stands out to me actually make it'll
make me emotional was last year, right around when the
book was launched. I had a reader that wrote in
and I didn't actually meet I've never met her in
real life, and she said she was going through something
that was really hard, divorce, all of that, but my story,
(14:56):
this book, all of it gave her courage to go
back to school and and she had adult kids and
all that because she wanted to finish up her degree.
And about a month ago, I was going through my
inbox and I'm not very good with email. I'm always
going to tell people that terrible with email. And I
found her another email and it was a picture of
(15:16):
her at school and I think she only needed to
get She got an associates degree, graduating with her kids
next to her, and she said that it was the
inspiration that moment where she thought, I'm going to finish
my education and I cannot. It's just it makes me
so overwhelmed with gratitude that I get a spot on
(15:37):
this earth to be that vessel that maybe opens up
somebody else's eyes to like, you know what, I'm going
to do this. I'm going to fight for my story
on this planet.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Good for you that I love that.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah, what's your connection been like to your audience? Because
one of the things that we do, we're really so
the Mom's Club is all about women's friendships and the
connections that we have with each other. And we're starting
these chapters all over the country of women getting together
and just connecting with each other. What has your experience
been with your audience? Have you developed good friendships out
(16:10):
of you through your audience? Do you connect with some
of them or you know? What's that been like? Because
you have such a vast audience.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
It's an interesting journey. I will say that just last week.
So I live in Nashville, and a couple of readers
who ended up helping me with early book launches, who
we ended up communicating, We've become friends, and so I
met up with them downtown Nashville for breakfast, and I
felt like I had known them forever because I really
(16:38):
believe that the audience. I'm so grateful for them. I
really I encourage a lot of writers and entrepreneurs, especially
building an audience, to take the time to invest in them.
They're coming into your story leaving a comment, and I
tell people, I can't respond to everybody anymore, it's gotten
so large, but I do take the time that I can,
(17:02):
and I try to comment and to really listen to
what they're saying. And as a result, when I did
the book tour. I was all over the country and
I got to meet people that felt like we were
friends already.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
That is great, That is that is great. How do
you so, how do you feel about like women really
connecting with one another and how important that that is?
I mean, do you feel like that that we need
to encourage more of that, which is basically what we're
doing here totally? Well.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
I love that you have your mom chapters because I
truly believe that when we're together, we are stronger. It
doesn't mean we have to always be alike. I always
tell my kids that story of the bundle of sticks,
and one can be broken, but when you put a
bunch together, it can't because it's so strong. And it
never says in there like it's a bundle of oak
(17:56):
sticks or walnut. It's it's just I always think it's
this asked different types, and that's how we are as women,
is we can be stronger when we're together. And then
I like to really really remind women, especially that in
some ways, when we fond, we come together and we
support each other and celebrate each other's victories and hold
(18:17):
each other in the hard times, and we speak truth
to each other. We are honoring the generations and generations
of women that fought for us to have a voice,
like we have this voice now, and the best thing
we can do is honor that fight and form and
forge solid friendships.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah, that is great. I mean that's true.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yes, nothing could be truer.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Right, I have a question about you having the courage
to bringing the truth to the surface. You've talked about
a lot of hard things and a lot of times
that you know you'll take away the power of you know,
the silence and you bring it to the surface. And
you've talked a little bit about that, you know with people,
(19:04):
I mean mainly finances for women and getting a hold
of you know, your getting a hold of yourself that
you know you can do it, and not to put
your head in the sand. You've done a really good
job of bringing stuff to the surface. Can you speak
to it?
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Well? I tell people, you know, it's interesting to me.
Is the very place that I felt shame for most
of my early years of my adult life was my
finances because my first marriage, the finances dismal is not
a good enough word, but it wasn't, you know, it
wasn't until I brought that to the light. It was
like when you hide behind the places that there's shame, Yeah,
(19:42):
you can't heal like shame is like it's a it's
a barricade. It stops you from seeking the answers that
you need or opening up paths. And so the irony
for me is the first time I was on the
Today Show, I ended up talking about financi healing for women.
So what was very frightening for me where I hid
(20:05):
became the very thing that I was so impassionate and
power and wanted to speak about because I really want
women to be able to talk about finances, to talk
about them in a knowledgeable way, and to be empowered
to take back that area of their lives.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I mean, you must have felt a little bit of freedom,
like a massive amount, not even a little bit, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (20:26):
Yeah, there is freedom. There is kind of freedom in
like I think when you're hiding, you're like spinning all
these plates and you're working so hard to keep the
hide so that nobody knows that you're trying to hide
stuff or you don't want to talk about it, and
when you finally decide, I'm I'm tired. I am tired
of this or for me, it was going through this
divorce that was I always say it was private public
(20:48):
because I was a writer. When they fell, I had
this moment where I was like, oh my gosh, I
don't have to pick all these up. Why was I
even bothering with that. I'm just going to be me
and I'm going to encourage women to step into their
true calling.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Well, I love the title of one of your book
is The Brave Art of Motherhood, and being brave is
so important. And I know in the in the financial
part of it you I guess there was one story
you told about finally calling a debt collector and just
saying I owe you money. How do we work this out?
Because so many people hide.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
And what I finally had to tell myself is the
guy or the gal on the other line is not
out to judge me. It was like I had put
all of these presuppositions. They were actually almost grateful to
hear me to work it out. And so there's this
(21:47):
empowering part. I think. We start to tell these stories
about I can't do it, or what will people think,
or all of that, and again it's like that barricade
of shame and we don't do anything. But when you
don't do anything, you're you're may think I'm just choosing
not to do it today, You're actually kind of going
backwards a little bit. And every time you do even
(22:07):
a small thing, you're pushing the momentum and changing it
to go forward.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Yeah, that's true growth, right, I'm absolutely yeah, I am
into that, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Well, you are so inspiring and we love I just
love talking to you. But you know who else would
love to talk to you are our zoomer mom. So
welcome zoomer Mom.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
You come to a mad club.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Ladies, I'm going to introduce each one of you and
share a little bit about yourself. Tell us your name,
where you're from, and then do you have a question
for Rachel. First, Tammy, Welcome to the Mom's Club.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Good afternoon, Thank you. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
So Rachel, I'm Tammy White, and I'm in Knoxville, Tennessee,
and i am divorced. I'm a nonprofit CEO, and I'm
the mother of one child who was adopted at birth
and she's now a junior your collegiate lacrosse player in
the Midwest. So super excited to listen to you all,
(23:07):
and I do have a question for you and a
little bit of a comment. So I will tell you
this is truly I love this topic. It really aligns
with who I am in terms of trying. I'm one
of those people who really likes to practice gratitude and
finding the good and everything and praising it.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
And but I.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Have struggled with that one word, and that's joy, And
it's a word I don't like to say and I
don't like to use. And my aversion to it is
because it's the name of the other woman who caused
my divorce and the breakup of my family. So I'm
a person who when I'm looking at Christmas cards, they
might be beautiful, but if that word's in it.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
UH not going to go in into trash.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
And so given that.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
You know, I'm again I'm grateful for where I've got
and I really like this whole notion of finding my
spark or I'm going to say I'm going to find sparkles,
because it's going to be more than one, right, But
what do you think blocks us from finding the sparkles?
(24:15):
And how can we ever come that.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
In our life?
Speaker 5 (24:18):
And then if you have personal thoughts about my own
aversion to that one word. I mean, I'm open to it,
I'm not offended, but my closest friends know that that's
just if they're going to buy me a card, it's
not going to.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
Have that word in it. Good questions from a fellow Tennesseean.
That's nice to chat with you, And I'm sorry about
the story that part that you've had to walk through to.
And I think that maybe you don't use joy as
your word. You have full autonomy to choose a different
word for that. Maybe yours is finding your spark or
(24:52):
your sparkle. And I love the idea of sparkle with that,
and I really believe that. So joy is interesting to me.
And it's interesting because it's a word that's different than happiness.
But I started writing a lot about happiness and get
your spark back, and maybe that's the word too, because
(25:12):
I discovered in my own life that happiness had this
like weird thing where people wouldn't say like it was
a selfish word, like people would say, oh, you want
to be happy? Like as a writer, I thought, well,
this is strange because it had this layer of being
selfish until I realized, you know, what this is our
(25:33):
my time on this planet, this is it, and I
am worthy of moments that make me happy. That it
going back to that simple coffee or sitting on the beach,
or spending time with friends or getting to talk with people.
So that would be my encouragement with that, along with,
(25:54):
you know, with gratitude. I think that gratitude also got
a little bit of a bad rap over a couple
of years and or in the time that I've been writing,
and because it seems cliche in some ways, like oh,
just be grateful, be grateful, and for me when I
was struggling, just like you know, if someone was to
(26:15):
say to you, go find joy, You're like, I don't
think so. I just remember thinking, I don't want to
be grateful. I don't want I don't This is not
something I want to be grateful about. So much so
that in my first book, The Brave Art of Motherhood,
and I remember my editor like, are you sure you
want to put this in here? I said that you
should check your gratitude list because there might be some
(26:38):
things on our gratitude list that we actually need to change.
So for me and my own story, I gave a
story of a truck that was repossessed, and I was mortified.
I had all these little kids, and I was embarrassed,
and I felt all the shame. And immediately I started
thinking of Okay, think of the good things. And then
(26:59):
it was like a lightning hit me. I do not
I should not be grateful for this right now. I
should not be grateful that I can go retrieve the
bag that was in the back of it. This is
something that I need to change. And so I'm always
challenging myself and others to look at the preconceived ideas
(27:19):
that we have about joy or happiness or gratitude and
to really examine them. So like with gratitude, I tell people,
maybe examine your gratitude list and is there something on
there that needs to change? So with looking for joy,
it might not necessarily need to be that word. It's
really about for me this level of awareness. The older
(27:40):
I get, the more conscious I have become of what
goes on in my head and being aware, like you
know what, I don't need to believe that that's not
true or challenging it. Why do I think this to
be true? So that would be what I would tell you.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
That's yeah, it's a really good answer. You don't want that.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
You want to be meaningful and not necessarily be trite
or like you said, it's you know, cliche, like you know,
but really think about it, Like, I think that's super.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
So I feel like as humans we try to like
sometimes just oh, just push that over, like oh, just
look for something good without realizing that the person that's
hearing that is like, I don't want to do that
right now. I don't want that. So like Tammy, I
love that your friends are like, uh huh, she is
only getting you know, happy festivities and merry holidays and
(28:32):
all of that because they love you, because they know
what is in your lane. And I don't think that
you have to ever unless you get to this place.
Think I'm going to reclaim that maybe you just don't
you take power and joy, joy, happiness and where you are.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Yeah, I appreciate that, and I will say I feel
like I have a great life. I'm extremely happy, and
I can't imagine still being married to that person. So
I'm I'm am in a great place. I appreciate that encourage.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Yeah, that's good. That is good.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
I think that's a story that needed to be shared, Tammy.
That the reason why you don't necessarily love that word.
I mean, we would have all been trying to guess,
and you really brought something to the surface.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
For a lot of women.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
That you know, they're like, this is why I don't
like it, and this is how it is to me,
and that it's painful.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
So I need to find something else that fits well.
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I also like, Rachel, how you described all that, because
when you're talking about gratitude. A few two or three
years ago, we have a mutual friend who got really
into gratitude. She had a gratitude app and I thought
that just seems like okay. I was like, now we
have an app, yeah, gratitude and it didn't feel as
(29:54):
it didn't seem as important to me because it's been
turned into just this like what is it? Yeah, So
I think the way you described it explained it is
a lot better because it put a lot of meaning
behind it, and that's important.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
That's great. Bridget, welcome to the Mom's Club. Tell us
a little bit about yourself and you have a question
for Rachel.
Speaker 6 (30:14):
Absolutely, it's so nice to be here. Thanks for having me.
I'm Bridget, Mats and Gill and I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Ohio discovering the stay today.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
I love it.
Speaker 6 (30:29):
I am a founding CEO of a regional economic and
community development organization. I am married to a youth pastor,
so I'm also pastor's wife. I'm also a rescue beagle
dog mom of two. As if any of this wasn't enough,
(30:53):
I'm also the mom.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Actually, I also do.
Speaker 6 (30:58):
Health coaching on the side as well, because i mean,
who has time time, let's fill it in. Yeah, And
this is really going to lead with my question for you, Rachel, because.
Speaker 7 (31:08):
I'm also the mom of twin daughters.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
And my twin.
Speaker 6 (31:13):
Daughters just started their junior year of high school. They're
in their junior year and so we're upperclassmen. They are
big into soccer, they are big into basketball. I am
the soccer mom, i am the basketball mom, I'm all
the things. Our life is packed. But as sixteen year olds,
they're starting to drive, they're getting their independence, and so
(31:38):
life right now, it really it feels exciting as we
enter the new phase. But I'm going to be honest,
I'm truly terrified of what's going to happen a year
and a half.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
From now with the empty nesting.
Speaker 6 (31:54):
And you would think for someone like me who is
completely overwhelmed, that I would be looking forward to freedom,
and I'm so not.
Speaker 7 (32:04):
And so the stage of motherhood that's.
Speaker 6 (32:07):
Around the corner with empty nesting, it feels exciting that
it really feels very bittersweet and so good.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
I really love your perspective. A couple of ways to
look at it.
Speaker 7 (32:19):
How how can moms like me navigate that transition with
joy and purpose instead of focusing on the loss. And
are there daily practices or mindset shifts that you would
recommend for me to start learning how to embrace this
upcoming season?
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Love that question?
Speaker 4 (32:41):
Me too? Me too. My son goes to UTC, so
we're even a bigger connection. So UTC is a University
of Tennessee Chattanooga's right. So you know, when you were talking,
I thought this is and then you said it. I said,
this is bittersweet. I remember learning about it as a kid.
I snuck bittersweet chocolate for my mom's pantry as a kid,
(33:02):
and I learned I didn't like it. So, but bittersweet
is really this mixture. To me, it's letting go and
holding on at the same time. Because there is this
process of this ache because at the same one apart,
it goes so fast, like you're thinking, it's already junior year.
(33:23):
I can't believe it. I can't believe it. And yet
when you look back, it's so full. There's so many things,
and you've been so busy. And what I discovered in
my own life is when there's freedom, or when they grow,
there also becomes more silence. And I first learned that
when my youngest, the one who's turning sixteen tomorrow, went
(33:45):
to kindergarten and I wrote a blog post called now
the windows stay clean, and I remember thinking they're never
gonna stay clean. They're never And then all of a sudden,
a couple of days after he was there, I was
sitting in my living room and it was quiet and
the windows were clean, and the emotions were so overwhelming.
I thought, Wow, is this possible? And the letting go
(34:07):
of them, when you release the hand into adulthood, it
feels the same and it's a different kind of love.
Like I have a daughter that she lives in Baltimore.
Came to visit in August, the best week ever. She's
an adult, and when she left, I sat I mean,
I get emotional, like my kids know it. They're like,
(34:28):
you're gonna cry, mom, And I think that's good they
I want them to see that love. But I ended
up sitting on my front porch with your okay, this
is so rock with flight Tracker on watching for when
her flight left, knowing that it was probably gonna fly
over my home here in Tennessee, watching and then seeing
(34:49):
it and taking a picture of it, knowing my daughter
was on it flying away, and I thought, that's motherhood
right there. Yeah, it's loving them so much you look
for those little moments within And so for me, like
the daily practice is knowing that there's going to become
more quiet and figuring out who I am in that
(35:11):
quiet and figuring out even as your daughters are driving
now of okay, I need to start to fill this
space with me with something that's important to me, with
something that fills me with joy, and then also giving
yourself the grace to experience those emotions. Those emotions are
(35:32):
because you love. That is the bottom line. It is
an emotion of deep love and I want us to
be okay with it. And so I wrote about the
picture of my daughter. I took this it's all blurry.
I'm like zooming way in and there it is. My
daughter's on that plane, and I wrote about it, and
(35:54):
the number of moms that sent back a similar picture
blew me away. So you're not alone. You are not alone,
and all of us rally together with you because we
get it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Absolutely, I mean it takes a lot of courage.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
I'm a new you know, empty nester. I don't know
if I love that term, but you know, I'm giving
them wings whatever you want to say. But it takes
a lot of courage to take the phone call, to
like listen, and to do all that. So I have
found that even if it's not super popular to write
(36:31):
in a journal about what I'm about to write about
what is about to go on in your household, it's
always something to look back on and then to go
we made it through that day, and we're transitioning, and
I get to look forward to the next chapter. And
I will say, as my kids have grown, they love
to look back. And I want my kids to say,
(36:51):
oh my gosh, we don't even recognize that woman, and
it's all in the best parts of her and who
she has become. So trust me when I say they
won't go far. You think in a year and a
half year, girl, they will be at your front door
so fast it'll make your head spin.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
But it is a transition and it's just.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Like your book being you know, having the bravery of
motherhood and it is gut wrenching and not for the week.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
That's true. And they do come back now and then too,
sometimes for longer periods than other times. Yeah, there is
that is true. Yes, yes, yes, Bridget. I have a
great idea for you, Bridget. Could you sound like my
kind of woman?
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I think I know exactly.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
You should start a chapter of Inside and Chattanooga, the
mom Tarage and Chattanooga. We would love to have a.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
House near Chattanooga. We could, Yes, yeah, we.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Could go see you there, Chi. Welcome to the Mom's Yeah,
let's do it. Do you have a question for Rachel?
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Hello.
Speaker 8 (37:52):
My name is Cheri and I'm also from Tennessee, but
I live in Raleigh for the past almost thirty years
with in Raleigh, a mom of four kids. They're all
in their twenties. My husband and I recently moved from
Raleigh though to a small town and bought a little
farm and say we're sort of homesteader adjacent because I'm
(38:13):
not by any means a full homesteader, but we've got
we're raising goats and chickens and ducks, and we have
a couple of cows, and so that's been a real
fun new thing and kind of new challenges everywhere. So
that kind of leads into my question of, for Rachel,
what is your biggest challenge or fear even that you
(38:34):
face today as you're doing what you're doing right now.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
Good question, you know, then I get overwhelmed. That's going
to sound so strange, but I don't like to be overwhelmed. So,
first of all, from another Tennessee native or actually I'm
from Minnesota, but as someone that's from here, I just
wanted to say, that's cool that today. Yeah, but I
(38:58):
have this part of me that thinks that when I'm
going to do something that's challenging or new or hard,
that it I have to experience the emotion of anxiety
or fear or overwhelm. And for me, I've been working
really really hard on catching that emotion. And the example
(39:19):
I give is with this last book, I was on
Good Morning America and as we were driving there, I
got that kind of anxiousness and this is and I
had the moment of clarity where I thought, you know what,
you better enjoy this. You have got to let go
of that. You're prepared, you know what you're doing, you
know your mission, you love this content, You'll be fine.
(39:42):
Don't miss out on the moment. And so I remember
going in thinking I am just going to enjoy this,
and it was such a huge paradigm shift that for me,
the challenge right now is catching that like, oh, I
don't know if I want to do that or I
don't know and feeling that overwhelmed and stepping back and going,
you know, what do I have to lose? My husband
(40:03):
gave me some of the greatest words ever. He said,
what do you have to what's the greatest risk not
doing it? Or doing it? And it has changed my
perspective so much that I find myself very confident in
my yes, but also just as confident in my know
because I know this is the journey. So for my
(40:26):
biggest challenge it would be that and not feeling I
feel the pressure of time more. I feel the pressure
of I don't know if it's because I turned fifty,
and all of a sudden, I'm like, ooh, that next decade,
that one feels different, which I said with at forty
of course. But I do feel the pressure of time,
(40:48):
and I feel the pressure of my parents aging. I
feel that challenge of letting go of my kids and
also letting go of my parents in a way. They
live in Minneapolis, which is about one thousand miles from here,
and I just know that the window of time is changing.
And so maybe that's the definition of midlife is we're
(41:10):
being squished on both sides while we're expected to grow.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yeah, time's a beast, you know for sure.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
I mean, Bridget, what you described to me is that
you're not gonna have time to be sad because it
sounds like you might be running for president. Everything that
you listed, I was like, oh my gosh, well yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
And these have all been great, great zoomer moms. I
really enjoyed it. And I love the Tennessee contingent. Yeah,
especially in Texas. We love we love people. We're from Texas.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yeah, I mean, we like to say, oh, you're from Texas.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
That's right, Yeah, now we will We're Austin.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
We like to say that, well, we.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Do have a little thing about that ut thing, you know, Yeah,
that's still a thing between us. But yes, we're so
girled that you all were here today, and Rachel, thank
you so much. This show has been this has been amazing,
as we say on The Mom's Club Show, and we've
just I we could go on with this conversation all
day long.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
You're an incredible speaker, and you really you promote words
that we all need to hear.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
We'll share with our audience where they can all find
you on social media because I know they're all going
to want to start following you.
Speaker 4 (42:15):
Well, I'm so grateful to be here. I could have
kept chatting for a long time.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Totally.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
Most people find me is either finding joy dot net,
the website I started way back in two thousand and eight,
or a lot of people will find me on Facebook.
If you search find a Joy blog, my face will
pop up and there's a blue check mark that says
that Facebook has verified that I'm a real human.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Yes like that? Well we need to know that these days.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Well, definitely so true. Yeah, exactly, Yeah, definitely follow Rachel
on social media, follow us on social media and inside
the Mom's Club We're on all the platforms, and we
also want to thank today our sponsor, New Calm. We
absolutely love Newclm. Newcolm has our friendship because.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Spell it for us because it's always confusing and you
c a l M.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
And it is an app that helps you sleep better, focus, meditate, meditate,
create and energy energy from and I'd use it sometimes
when I exercise. I mean, it is great. And if
you put Mom's Club in the code of checkout, you
get fifteen percent off every month. Yeah, great discount for you,
(43:27):
so please be sure and do that. We also have
some exciting news. We are forming chapters. We're gonna have
chapters all over the country and we're starting now with
our live events, and we're gonna be having live events
soon in Nashville, Atlanta, and North Dallas and Shreveport. Check
the Inside the Mom's Club website for the local event details.
These are fun, free and informative. We're gonna have some
(43:50):
great guest speakers, and we're gonna have prizes people get.
Actually they you can win things at these events. We
have these events, We've already had some me people, you
meet you people. It's great and actually and the prizes
are great too. I tried once to throw my card
in there and thinking, oh I picked myself.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
I had to fish it out of the ball get
to play.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
But there's limited tickets available, so when you get the opportunity,
secure your ticket at inside the Moom's Club dot com. Well,
Julie again, this it was.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
I can't think of a better show to end on
finding joy or get your spark back, because Lord knows,
I have to ask myself that a lot.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
We're gonna We're gonna go get our spark back here
in Los Angeles. That's all the mom shopping is one
place where I do get my.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Sparknica has been waiting one hour to tell you that
shopping is.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
Where she gets like her joy from.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
Yeah, yes, I do get I do get it there.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
It's fun.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Well, we'll be back next time. Moms out there with
celebrities and extraordinary moms, and we know your meantime is
precious and valuable. Thanks so much for spending it with us.
Remember the Mom's Club motto. If you don't laugh, sometimes ladies.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
You are going to cry.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
So keep laughing out there. We'll see you next time
Inside the Mom's Club
Welcome moms. Welcome to Inside the Mom's Club. I'm your host,
Monica Samuels, and I'm here with my co host, Julie Orchid.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello, Julie, how are you today?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I'm terrific today. It's it's a beautiful day here in
Los Angeles.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Yeah, I mean it's always pretty when we come. And yeah,
I've had a little bit of bug of wanting to
move here sometimes.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I know you do every once in a while, wile
you're driving your showing me houses, you like say the.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Reason that you for no reason, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we we have an exciting
show today, like the sun wereciting. Yeah, we're very stoked.
We have a really great guest. And one of the
things that we were.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Questioning about a lot of people, Well, you were.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Asking me last week because we were talking about this,
like what gives you joy? You asked me.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Yeah, I think it's hard, Like it's a hard joy,
Like what makes you smile and feel content? And I've
really worked on my list in the last twenty four hours.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Okay, well let me hear your list, because I still
working online.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Well, I honestly feel that you know, people think that
when you're like, oh, how do you break the mundane?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Where do you find your joy?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
And you you feel like you have to do something
like travel around the world or you know, do something
that's so grandiose that you, you know, need to be able
to speak that. But for me, it's been finding little rituals.
My little ritual in the morning and of what I
do my animals. Going to the dog park for me
has become pure joy. That's something.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Coffee is pure joy. It's just little things.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
You know, road trips, and I will say some of
the traveling in the last five years that I've done
has been great. It's brought joy, it's brought healing, and
I couldn't say enough about it. What about you, I'm
not talented, so I can't do anything like art, guitar, sing,
any of that. I can do all so yeah, yeah,
of course.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Actually you know what so so for our for our
Instagram and our TikTok, we have to do well. I
have to do these funny skits basically in characters and things.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
You are funny.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I actually get joy out of that now because last
night when you asked me, the first thing I said was, well,
I used to love being my son's team mom of
the baseball team. That gave me tremendous joy. And yet
you pointed out that's through your kids. Is that really you?
That's getting well?
Speaker 3 (02:24):
I think it's important to know that people kind of
you wake up and you're like, wait, I've lost a
little bit, like we're going to talk about today, a
little bit of my spark?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Who am I? Who am I?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
You know, when the kids aren't in and out of
the house every day and you've given so much that
how could you not feel like, you know a little
bit like, oh I need to revamp.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Yeah, And that's a lot of energy.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Your identity over those years of having kids just get
tied up to that.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Well.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
For the years that we had my husband and I
had the Disney Vacation Club, and so we went to
Disney so much because we had to, because we spent
some money on it that everyone thought that gave me
great joy. And maybe it did at the time.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I don't know if you have it too through like
twenty nineties. Who knows that's joy?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, joy of some sort, But I mean, you know so,
but if I enjoyed it with the kids, and I
do like to travel now, so that's good and yeah,
we've done that. Getty more of a list now that
I think about it. I take I have great joy
when I go to Susie's Cakes and get their old
fashioned chocola. That gives me joy.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It's a lemon Yeah, yeah, you like the lemon war.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, there are things, but that's the thing, you know.
I wrote a book years ago called Comeback Moms, and
it was for women who wanted to take time off
from work and stay home with their kids and then
have be able to reconnect back to the work world later.
And like we always said, what what's your next act
going to be? What what's your comeback? And to look yet,
I think and that's when you have to also decide,
(03:54):
you know, what do I care about? Like what tell
me about me?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Well, what I've decided is that even if your day
is like just steady and you're not doing a lot,
that day counts. Today counts. And I have started to
really journal and really find maybe one or two things
out of the day that fills you with gratitude. Gratitude
is no joke if you really lean into it. I
(04:20):
mean I'm not a motivational speaker, sound like one, right, now,
but I'm not. I'm just saying gratitude is huge, Like
if you can pick one or two things, I think
that that brings me joy as well. And I could
now talk about this all day. When I had trouble
even finding.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I know less now we were strung Like the first one,
you said that what gives you joy? And I thought, maybe.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
That's why we've been up since two fifteen am.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Blood did wake up at two thirty this morning, but
that that did not give me joy. Asmnan does not listen.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I think it's a question that a lot of women
ask themselves, and I think that my friends and I
have been talking about it because I'm recently.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Three weeks out of not having any children at home.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I think, I hope you know because you're really trying
to come back. Yeah, they can't come back, but I'm
just saying, like, you have to, really, you have to
really reinvent yourself.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
And we owe it to ourselves. Heck, we are people too,
and we get to enjoy stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Well, absolutely, because as moms, we we have to be
there for everybody. Yeah, we're there for our husbands, we're
there for the kids, we're there for the pets. I
mean and I love the pets. But I mean it's
like everything, like at some points, what about and you
don't want to seem selfish or feel like you're being selfish?
But you know, what about me? And then to where
(05:40):
you even question what do I like?
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Right?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
I like to trash the to do list. That's my
thing lately.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
And it gets a little annoying because that to do
list gets long.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
But I'm enjoying myself.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Well, this is a great subject, and so we have
the very best person. We have an expert in the.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Strate on this whole subject, and I'm so excited to
have her here to see how she can this.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
She is the author behind the very popular site Finding
joy dot net and several books, Get Your Spark Back,
Mom Enough and Brave The Brave Art of Motherhood. Her
content has been featured on The Today Show, Good Morning
American and countless publications and get this Julie. She is
the mother to a blended family of eleven children.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Oh my, what's amazing?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Is right?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Please? Yes, welcome Rachel Marie Martin. Welcome to the Mom's Clue.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
I'm so glad to be here, and yes that is
I am the mom to eleven kids and a dog
because we weren't busy enough.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah, because you needed to add more. Yes, right, yes, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Wow. What are the age ranges of the kids? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Okay, well they change. My husband always says they change
every year. But I know one is turning sixteen tomorrow.
He's the youngest. Of the oldest is twenty nine.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Oh my gosh. What a busy house.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Yeah, it is busy, but I will tell you it's
not as busy as when they were all ten and
under that age. Oh that is a different type of busy.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah, that's so true. That's so true.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
And you know you're running on fumes at those ages, right, yeah,
so true.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah yeah, so tell us, So, tell our audience a
little bit about your backstory. How did you come to
your prolific writer? People follow you, they get inspiration from
your words online. How did that all start? What led
to that?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Well? I always say I always liked to write, but
in the early two thousand, so I'm going to kind
of date myself here, I was in Yahoo group and
I was writing and somebody said, hey, you should start
a blog, and I was like, okay, I'll do that.
And for me in those days, that was in my
first marriage, and it wasn't exactly I always say, it
wasn't healthy, it wasn't the right thing, and writing became
(07:53):
an outlet for me, and the title Finding Joy actually
came from that because I was so trapped with in
this what I well, I thought I was trapped within.
This confines that I decided to go out on a
journey similar to what you did last night and look
for joy in the midst and that became the name
of the blog. Well, I just kept going at it,
(08:16):
pursuing joy and encouraging specifically moms in the beginning, but
now it's kind of morphed into women in midlife how
to go about finding joy, especially when life doesn't look
like what we thought it would look.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I mean it's important to note that,
like right out of the gate, you weren't like, you know,
find joy, fine joy, find joy. I mean you had
I think you had seven kids?
Speaker 4 (08:41):
Correct?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Seven? I do you do?
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I mean you know what I mean, like you had
seven of your own and then added, but I'm saying,
like this wasn't something that you did right away, like
you said, like I mean, people think you explained it
in a way like ABC, like that doesn't really what
life is about. And it's annoying that people think if
you do A, you're gonna get B and that's you know,
nothing's ever Leaniar. So I'm really grateful that you spoke
(09:08):
to that. But how with everything that you had go on,
this divorce, your son living far away. Those are just
a couple of examples. But how did you come to
the grips of.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
All everything that you write about?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
You have an amazing following, you know obviously on Facebook
and other places, like where did you find that? Where
did you find the joy and to write about it?
Speaker 4 (09:34):
You know, people ask me that all the time. I
actually think because I really believe we all have these
like superpowers that we tap into. And for me, it
was this vulnerable this willingness to be vulnerable and to
write about what we're all feeling. We're feeling we were
feeling overwhelmed, or we were feeling frustrated, or what I
(09:54):
found is a lot of women, a lot of moms
felt alone. And so instead of making it look perfectly packaged,
especially in the early days of social media, I would
start to write about things like to the mom who
feels like she's failing because I was feeling like it.
But I never wanted them to leave with Wow, let's
just all feel like we're failing. I wanted to turn
(10:17):
the page, to turn the perspective and it to be like,
I want you to start to notice the little things
that really matter, like where you were talking about the
coffee or your dog or sometimes I even say, the
fact that that your coffee stayed warm just a little
bit longer, you know, because sometimes it doesn't.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
And when it's cold, it's so miserable.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Part of life, that little posture of really trying to
look for something that's good in the every day, because
sometimes the day might not be a great day, but
there's something that might be good within it.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, so now your recent, but get your spark back.
Mm HMMD So you lose your spark and you like,
tell us about the sparks had.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Eleven kids, Monica. I mean, there's gonna be some smart spark.
Demy like, yeah, like come on.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, tell the explain that to the audience.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
So all right, well it goes.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
I fought after I got divorced. I was like the
single mom. I was on fire, and I really fought
to get my life in order, and when you have
to be super strong, sometimes you don't realize everything else
that's you just you're just in full motion. And I
ended up getting remarried right at the beginning of twenty twenty,
(11:39):
like a couple weeks before the world shut down, right,
And then in the process of when we were all
locked down, all of a sudden, I thought I had
this moment of like, well, who am I now? Who
am I? As a writer? Because I would write. I
wrote about those single mom years. I wrote about my
financial struggles. I wrote all about that, and I didn't
know what the pit it was. And my kids were
(12:02):
getting older, the kids were graduating, they were they were
going off to college, and I all of a sudden,
I remember looking at myself thinking, I don't know me.
I know what I'm good at. I know that I'm
good at being a mom. I know I'm productive. I
know I can write, I can do that, But who
am I? At the core? And that to me was
(12:23):
this journey of getting my own spark back. And I
went on a massive journey without knowing it, about figuring
out who I was so much that my readers actually
started to write in and ask how do I get
my spark back? And I thought, oh my goodness, this
is what they're asking. They're witnessing it evolve in me,
(12:43):
and that was the inspiration for the book.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yeah, that's fantastic. What's the year been like?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
I know that this book came out correct me if
I'm wrong, but in August of twenty twenty four, So
you've had a whole year of you know, getting just
the ride of it.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
What's it like?
Speaker 4 (12:58):
It's it's amazing. I think the most unbelievable part for
me is to get to meet so many people along
the way, so many people that have that moment of
you know what, I can do this, because that's always
been my mission, is if I can be a spark
of hope for somebody else, so they can look at
their life and they can be like, you know what,
(13:20):
I am so worth and so worthy of figuring out
who I am right now and taking back and doing
it without guilt. I know in the beginning you were
talking about sometimes it feels selfish, and I just want
to flip the narrative and be like, it's so giving
to take care of yourself. It's so when you take
care of your own self you're inspiring your friends to
(13:42):
but you're also modeling to our kids. Look, it is
worth it to invest in our own stories.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Well, I think being depleted now my new model is
being depleted is dumb. Like I mean, honestly, like being
depleted of energy, being depleted of your you know what
I mean, not giving back to you yourself like. And
I think that she has a really good point. Taking
care of yourself is huge, well.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Right, because how can you contribute productively if you're depleted,
if you're not.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
If you're feeling Monica did not like that. I just said,
depleted is dumb?
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Do you I liked it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I thought, do you have Yeah, I did like it.
I didn't say do you do you have a travel
around and talking to some of your audience. Do you
have a favorite story of someone who got their spark
back and told you you know, hey, I credit you
and here's what happened.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
No, there's so many little stories that have happened. But
the one that stands out to me actually make it'll
make me emotional was last year, right around when the
book was launched. I had a reader that wrote in
and I didn't actually meet I've never met her in
real life, and she said she was going through something
that was really hard, divorce, all of that, but my story,
(14:56):
this book, all of it gave her courage to go
back to school and and she had adult kids and
all that because she wanted to finish up her degree.
And about a month ago, I was going through my
inbox and I'm not very good with email. I'm always
going to tell people that terrible with email. And I
found her another email and it was a picture of
(15:16):
her at school and I think she only needed to
get She got an associates degree, graduating with her kids
next to her, and she said that it was the
inspiration that moment where she thought, I'm going to finish
my education and I cannot. It's just it makes me
so overwhelmed with gratitude that I get a spot on
(15:37):
this earth to be that vessel that maybe opens up
somebody else's eyes to like, you know what, I'm going
to do this. I'm going to fight for my story
on this planet.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Good for you that I love that.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah, what's your connection been like to your audience? Because
one of the things that we do, we're really so
the Mom's Club is all about women's friendships and the
connections that we have with each other. And we're starting
these chapters all over the country of women getting together
and just connecting with each other. What has your experience
been with your audience? Have you developed good friendships out
(16:10):
of you through your audience? Do you connect with some
of them or you know? What's that been like? Because
you have such a vast audience.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
It's an interesting journey. I will say that just last week.
So I live in Nashville, and a couple of readers
who ended up helping me with early book launches, who
we ended up communicating, We've become friends, and so I
met up with them downtown Nashville for breakfast, and I
felt like I had known them forever because I really
(16:38):
believe that the audience. I'm so grateful for them. I
really I encourage a lot of writers and entrepreneurs, especially
building an audience, to take the time to invest in them.
They're coming into your story leaving a comment, and I
tell people, I can't respond to everybody anymore, it's gotten
so large, but I do take the time that I can,
(17:02):
and I try to comment and to really listen to
what they're saying. And as a result, when I did
the book tour. I was all over the country and
I got to meet people that felt like we were
friends already.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
That is great, That is that is great. How do
you so, how do you feel about like women really
connecting with one another and how important that that is?
I mean, do you feel like that that we need
to encourage more of that, which is basically what we're
doing here totally? Well.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
I love that you have your mom chapters because I
truly believe that when we're together, we are stronger. It
doesn't mean we have to always be alike. I always
tell my kids that story of the bundle of sticks,
and one can be broken, but when you put a
bunch together, it can't because it's so strong. And it
never says in there like it's a bundle of oak
(17:56):
sticks or walnut. It's it's just I always think it's
this asked different types, and that's how we are as women,
is we can be stronger when we're together. And then
I like to really really remind women, especially that in
some ways, when we fond, we come together and we
support each other and celebrate each other's victories and hold
(18:17):
each other in the hard times, and we speak truth
to each other. We are honoring the generations and generations
of women that fought for us to have a voice,
like we have this voice now, and the best thing
we can do is honor that fight and form and
forge solid friendships.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah, that is great. I mean that's true.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yes, nothing could be truer.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Right, I have a question about you having the courage
to bringing the truth to the surface. You've talked about
a lot of hard things and a lot of times
that you know you'll take away the power of you know,
the silence and you bring it to the surface. And
you've talked a little bit about that, you know with people,
(19:04):
I mean mainly finances for women and getting a hold
of you know, your getting a hold of yourself that
you know you can do it, and not to put
your head in the sand. You've done a really good
job of bringing stuff to the surface. Can you speak
to it?
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Well? I tell people, you know, it's interesting to me.
Is the very place that I felt shame for most
of my early years of my adult life was my
finances because my first marriage, the finances dismal is not
a good enough word, but it wasn't, you know, it
wasn't until I brought that to the light. It was
like when you hide behind the places that there's shame, Yeah,
(19:42):
you can't heal like shame is like it's a it's
a barricade. It stops you from seeking the answers that
you need or opening up paths. And so the irony
for me is the first time I was on the
Today Show, I ended up talking about financi healing for women.
So what was very frightening for me where I hid
(20:05):
became the very thing that I was so impassionate and
power and wanted to speak about because I really want
women to be able to talk about finances, to talk
about them in a knowledgeable way, and to be empowered
to take back that area of their lives.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I mean, you must have felt a little bit of freedom,
like a massive amount, not even a little bit, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (20:26):
Yeah, there is freedom. There is kind of freedom in
like I think when you're hiding, you're like spinning all
these plates and you're working so hard to keep the
hide so that nobody knows that you're trying to hide
stuff or you don't want to talk about it, and
when you finally decide, I'm I'm tired. I am tired
of this or for me, it was going through this
divorce that was I always say it was private public
(20:48):
because I was a writer. When they fell, I had
this moment where I was like, oh my gosh, I
don't have to pick all these up. Why was I
even bothering with that. I'm just going to be me
and I'm going to encourage women to step into their
true calling.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Well, I love the title of one of your book
is The Brave Art of Motherhood, and being brave is
so important. And I know in the in the financial
part of it you I guess there was one story
you told about finally calling a debt collector and just
saying I owe you money. How do we work this out?
Because so many people hide.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
And what I finally had to tell myself is the
guy or the gal on the other line is not
out to judge me. It was like I had put
all of these presuppositions. They were actually almost grateful to
hear me to work it out. And so there's this
(21:47):
empowering part. I think. We start to tell these stories
about I can't do it, or what will people think,
or all of that, and again it's like that barricade
of shame and we don't do anything. But when you
don't do anything, you're you're may think I'm just choosing
not to do it today, You're actually kind of going
backwards a little bit. And every time you do even
(22:07):
a small thing, you're pushing the momentum and changing it
to go forward.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Yeah, that's true growth, right, I'm absolutely yeah, I am
into that, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Well, you are so inspiring and we love I just
love talking to you. But you know who else would
love to talk to you are our zoomer mom. So
welcome zoomer Mom.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
You come to a mad club.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Ladies, I'm going to introduce each one of you and
share a little bit about yourself. Tell us your name,
where you're from, and then do you have a question
for Rachel. First, Tammy, Welcome to the Mom's Club.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Good afternoon, Thank you. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
So Rachel, I'm Tammy White, and I'm in Knoxville, Tennessee,
and i am divorced. I'm a nonprofit CEO, and I'm
the mother of one child who was adopted at birth
and she's now a junior your collegiate lacrosse player in
the Midwest. So super excited to listen to you all,
(23:07):
and I do have a question for you and a
little bit of a comment. So I will tell you
this is truly I love this topic. It really aligns
with who I am in terms of trying. I'm one
of those people who really likes to practice gratitude and
finding the good and everything and praising it.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
And but I.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Have struggled with that one word, and that's joy, And
it's a word I don't like to say and I
don't like to use. And my aversion to it is
because it's the name of the other woman who caused
my divorce and the breakup of my family. So I'm
a person who when I'm looking at Christmas cards, they
might be beautiful, but if that word's in it.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
UH not going to go in into trash.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
And so given that.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
You know, I'm again I'm grateful for where I've got
and I really like this whole notion of finding my
spark or I'm going to say I'm going to find sparkles,
because it's going to be more than one, right, But
what do you think blocks us from finding the sparkles?
(24:15):
And how can we ever come that.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
In our life?
Speaker 5 (24:18):
And then if you have personal thoughts about my own
aversion to that one word. I mean, I'm open to it,
I'm not offended, but my closest friends know that that's
just if they're going to buy me a card, it's
not going to.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
Have that word in it. Good questions from a fellow Tennesseean.
That's nice to chat with you, And I'm sorry about
the story that part that you've had to walk through to.
And I think that maybe you don't use joy as
your word. You have full autonomy to choose a different
word for that. Maybe yours is finding your spark or
(24:52):
your sparkle. And I love the idea of sparkle with that,
and I really believe that. So joy is interesting to me.
And it's interesting because it's a word that's different than happiness.
But I started writing a lot about happiness and get
your spark back, and maybe that's the word too, because
(25:12):
I discovered in my own life that happiness had this
like weird thing where people wouldn't say like it was
a selfish word, like people would say, oh, you want
to be happy? Like as a writer, I thought, well,
this is strange because it had this layer of being
selfish until I realized, you know, what this is our
(25:33):
my time on this planet, this is it, and I
am worthy of moments that make me happy. That it
going back to that simple coffee or sitting on the beach,
or spending time with friends or getting to talk with people.
So that would be my encouragement with that, along with,
(25:54):
you know, with gratitude. I think that gratitude also got
a little bit of a bad rap over a couple
of years and or in the time that I've been writing,
and because it seems cliche in some ways, like oh,
just be grateful, be grateful, and for me when I
was struggling, just like you know, if someone was to
(26:15):
say to you, go find joy, You're like, I don't
think so. I just remember thinking, I don't want to
be grateful. I don't want I don't This is not
something I want to be grateful about. So much so
that in my first book, The Brave Art of Motherhood,
and I remember my editor like, are you sure you
want to put this in here? I said that you
should check your gratitude list because there might be some
(26:38):
things on our gratitude list that we actually need to change.
So for me and my own story, I gave a
story of a truck that was repossessed, and I was mortified.
I had all these little kids, and I was embarrassed,
and I felt all the shame. And immediately I started
thinking of Okay, think of the good things. And then
(26:59):
it was like a lightning hit me. I do not
I should not be grateful for this right now. I
should not be grateful that I can go retrieve the
bag that was in the back of it. This is
something that I need to change. And so I'm always
challenging myself and others to look at the preconceived ideas
(27:19):
that we have about joy or happiness or gratitude and
to really examine them. So like with gratitude, I tell people,
maybe examine your gratitude list and is there something on
there that needs to change? So with looking for joy,
it might not necessarily need to be that word. It's
really about for me this level of awareness. The older
(27:40):
I get, the more conscious I have become of what
goes on in my head and being aware, like you
know what, I don't need to believe that that's not
true or challenging it. Why do I think this to
be true? So that would be what I would tell you.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
That's yeah, it's a really good answer. You don't want that.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
You want to be meaningful and not necessarily be trite
or like you said, it's you know, cliche, like you know,
but really think about it, Like, I think that's super.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
So I feel like as humans we try to like
sometimes just oh, just push that over, like oh, just
look for something good without realizing that the person that's
hearing that is like, I don't want to do that
right now. I don't want that. So like Tammy, I
love that your friends are like, uh huh, she is
only getting you know, happy festivities and merry holidays and
(28:32):
all of that because they love you, because they know
what is in your lane. And I don't think that
you have to ever unless you get to this place.
Think I'm going to reclaim that maybe you just don't
you take power and joy, joy, happiness and where you are.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Yeah, I appreciate that, and I will say I feel
like I have a great life. I'm extremely happy, and
I can't imagine still being married to that person. So
I'm I'm am in a great place. I appreciate that encourage.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Yeah, that's good. That is good.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
I think that's a story that needed to be shared, Tammy.
That the reason why you don't necessarily love that word.
I mean, we would have all been trying to guess,
and you really brought something to the surface.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
For a lot of women.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
That you know, they're like, this is why I don't
like it, and this is how it is to me,
and that it's painful.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
So I need to find something else that fits well.
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I also like, Rachel, how you described all that, because
when you're talking about gratitude. A few two or three
years ago, we have a mutual friend who got really
into gratitude. She had a gratitude app and I thought
that just seems like okay. I was like, now we
have an app, yeah, gratitude and it didn't feel as
(29:54):
it didn't seem as important to me because it's been
turned into just this like what is it? Yeah, So
I think the way you described it explained it is
a lot better because it put a lot of meaning
behind it, and that's important.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
That's great. Bridget, welcome to the Mom's Club. Tell us
a little bit about yourself and you have a question
for Rachel.
Speaker 6 (30:14):
Absolutely, it's so nice to be here. Thanks for having me.
I'm Bridget, Mats and Gill and I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Ohio discovering the stay today.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
I love it.
Speaker 6 (30:29):
I am a founding CEO of a regional economic and
community development organization. I am married to a youth pastor,
so I'm also pastor's wife. I'm also a rescue beagle
dog mom of two. As if any of this wasn't enough,
(30:53):
I'm also the mom.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Actually, I also do.
Speaker 6 (30:58):
Health coaching on the side as well, because i mean,
who has time time, let's fill it in. Yeah, And
this is really going to lead with my question for you, Rachel, because.
Speaker 7 (31:08):
I'm also the mom of twin daughters.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
And my twin.
Speaker 6 (31:13):
Daughters just started their junior year of high school. They're
in their junior year and so we're upperclassmen. They are
big into soccer, they are big into basketball. I am
the soccer mom, i am the basketball mom, I'm all
the things. Our life is packed. But as sixteen year olds,
they're starting to drive, they're getting their independence, and so
(31:38):
life right now, it really it feels exciting as we
enter the new phase. But I'm going to be honest,
I'm truly terrified of what's going to happen a year
and a half.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
From now with the empty nesting.
Speaker 6 (31:54):
And you would think for someone like me who is
completely overwhelmed, that I would be looking forward to freedom,
and I'm so not.
Speaker 7 (32:04):
And so the stage of motherhood that's.
Speaker 6 (32:07):
Around the corner with empty nesting, it feels exciting that
it really feels very bittersweet and so good.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
I really love your perspective. A couple of ways to
look at it.
Speaker 7 (32:19):
How how can moms like me navigate that transition with
joy and purpose instead of focusing on the loss. And
are there daily practices or mindset shifts that you would
recommend for me to start learning how to embrace this
upcoming season?
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Love that question?
Speaker 4 (32:41):
Me too? Me too. My son goes to UTC, so
we're even a bigger connection. So UTC is a University
of Tennessee Chattanooga's right. So you know, when you were talking,
I thought this is and then you said it. I said,
this is bittersweet. I remember learning about it as a kid.
I snuck bittersweet chocolate for my mom's pantry as a kid,
(33:02):
and I learned I didn't like it. So, but bittersweet
is really this mixture. To me, it's letting go and
holding on at the same time. Because there is this
process of this ache because at the same one apart,
it goes so fast, like you're thinking, it's already junior year.
(33:23):
I can't believe it. I can't believe it. And yet
when you look back, it's so full. There's so many things,
and you've been so busy. And what I discovered in
my own life is when there's freedom, or when they grow,
there also becomes more silence. And I first learned that
when my youngest, the one who's turning sixteen tomorrow, went
(33:45):
to kindergarten and I wrote a blog post called now
the windows stay clean, and I remember thinking they're never
gonna stay clean. They're never And then all of a sudden,
a couple of days after he was there, I was
sitting in my living room and it was quiet and
the windows were clean, and the emotions were so overwhelming.
I thought, Wow, is this possible? And the letting go
(34:07):
of them, when you release the hand into adulthood, it
feels the same and it's a different kind of love.
Like I have a daughter that she lives in Baltimore.
Came to visit in August, the best week ever. She's
an adult, and when she left, I sat I mean,
I get emotional, like my kids know it. They're like,
(34:28):
you're gonna cry, mom, And I think that's good they
I want them to see that love. But I ended
up sitting on my front porch with your okay, this
is so rock with flight Tracker on watching for when
her flight left, knowing that it was probably gonna fly
over my home here in Tennessee, watching and then seeing
(34:49):
it and taking a picture of it, knowing my daughter
was on it flying away, and I thought, that's motherhood
right there. Yeah, it's loving them so much you look
for those little moments within And so for me, like
the daily practice is knowing that there's going to become
more quiet and figuring out who I am in that
(35:11):
quiet and figuring out even as your daughters are driving
now of okay, I need to start to fill this
space with me with something that's important to me, with
something that fills me with joy, and then also giving
yourself the grace to experience those emotions. Those emotions are
(35:32):
because you love. That is the bottom line. It is
an emotion of deep love and I want us to
be okay with it. And so I wrote about the
picture of my daughter. I took this it's all blurry.
I'm like zooming way in and there it is. My
daughter's on that plane, and I wrote about it, and
(35:54):
the number of moms that sent back a similar picture
blew me away. So you're not alone. You are not alone,
and all of us rally together with you because we
get it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Absolutely, I mean it takes a lot of courage.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
I'm a new you know, empty nester. I don't know
if I love that term, but you know, I'm giving
them wings whatever you want to say. But it takes
a lot of courage to take the phone call, to
like listen, and to do all that. So I have
found that even if it's not super popular to write
(36:31):
in a journal about what I'm about to write about
what is about to go on in your household, it's
always something to look back on and then to go
we made it through that day, and we're transitioning, and
I get to look forward to the next chapter. And
I will say, as my kids have grown, they love
to look back. And I want my kids to say,
(36:51):
oh my gosh, we don't even recognize that woman, and
it's all in the best parts of her and who
she has become. So trust me when I say they
won't go far. You think in a year and a
half year, girl, they will be at your front door
so fast it'll make your head spin.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
But it is a transition and it's just.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Like your book being you know, having the bravery of
motherhood and it is gut wrenching and not for the week.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
That's true. And they do come back now and then too,
sometimes for longer periods than other times. Yeah, there is
that is true. Yes, yes, yes, Bridget. I have a
great idea for you, Bridget. Could you sound like my
kind of woman?
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I think I know exactly.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
You should start a chapter of Inside and Chattanooga, the
mom Tarage and Chattanooga. We would love to have a.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
House near Chattanooga. We could, Yes, yeah, we.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Could go see you there, Chi. Welcome to the Mom's Yeah,
let's do it. Do you have a question for Rachel?
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Hello.
Speaker 8 (37:52):
My name is Cheri and I'm also from Tennessee, but
I live in Raleigh for the past almost thirty years
with in Raleigh, a mom of four kids. They're all
in their twenties. My husband and I recently moved from
Raleigh though to a small town and bought a little
farm and say we're sort of homesteader adjacent because I'm
(38:13):
not by any means a full homesteader, but we've got
we're raising goats and chickens and ducks, and we have
a couple of cows, and so that's been a real
fun new thing and kind of new challenges everywhere. So
that kind of leads into my question of, for Rachel,
what is your biggest challenge or fear even that you
(38:34):
face today as you're doing what you're doing right now.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
Good question, you know, then I get overwhelmed. That's going
to sound so strange, but I don't like to be overwhelmed. So,
first of all, from another Tennessee native or actually I'm
from Minnesota, but as someone that's from here, I just
wanted to say, that's cool that today. Yeah, but I
(38:58):
have this part of me that thinks that when I'm
going to do something that's challenging or new or hard,
that it I have to experience the emotion of anxiety
or fear or overwhelm. And for me, I've been working
really really hard on catching that emotion. And the example
(39:19):
I give is with this last book, I was on
Good Morning America and as we were driving there, I
got that kind of anxiousness and this is and I
had the moment of clarity where I thought, you know what,
you better enjoy this. You have got to let go
of that. You're prepared, you know what you're doing, you
know your mission, you love this content, You'll be fine.
(39:42):
Don't miss out on the moment. And so I remember
going in thinking I am just going to enjoy this,
and it was such a huge paradigm shift that for me,
the challenge right now is catching that like, oh, I
don't know if I want to do that or I
don't know and feeling that overwhelmed and stepping back and going,
you know, what do I have to lose? My husband
(40:03):
gave me some of the greatest words ever. He said,
what do you have to what's the greatest risk not
doing it? Or doing it? And it has changed my
perspective so much that I find myself very confident in
my yes, but also just as confident in my know
because I know this is the journey. So for my
(40:26):
biggest challenge it would be that and not feeling I
feel the pressure of time more. I feel the pressure
of I don't know if it's because I turned fifty,
and all of a sudden, I'm like, ooh, that next decade,
that one feels different, which I said with at forty
of course. But I do feel the pressure of time,
(40:48):
and I feel the pressure of my parents aging. I
feel that challenge of letting go of my kids and
also letting go of my parents in a way. They
live in Minneapolis, which is about one thousand miles from here,
and I just know that the window of time is changing.
And so maybe that's the definition of midlife is we're
(41:10):
being squished on both sides while we're expected to grow.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yeah, time's a beast, you know for sure.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
I mean, Bridget, what you described to me is that
you're not gonna have time to be sad because it
sounds like you might be running for president. Everything that
you listed, I was like, oh my gosh, well yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
And these have all been great, great zoomer moms. I
really enjoyed it. And I love the Tennessee contingent. Yeah,
especially in Texas. We love we love people. We're from Texas.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yeah, I mean, we like to say, oh, you're from Texas.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
That's right, Yeah, now we will We're Austin.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
We like to say that, well, we.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Do have a little thing about that ut thing, you know, Yeah,
that's still a thing between us. But yes, we're so
girled that you all were here today, and Rachel, thank
you so much. This show has been this has been amazing,
as we say on The Mom's Club Show, and we've
just I we could go on with this conversation all
day long.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
You're an incredible speaker, and you really you promote words
that we all need to hear.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
We'll share with our audience where they can all find
you on social media because I know they're all going
to want to start following you.
Speaker 4 (42:15):
Well, I'm so grateful to be here. I could have
kept chatting for a long time.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Totally.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
Most people find me is either finding joy dot net,
the website I started way back in two thousand and eight,
or a lot of people will find me on Facebook.
If you search find a Joy blog, my face will
pop up and there's a blue check mark that says
that Facebook has verified that I'm a real human.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Yes like that? Well we need to know that these days.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Well, definitely so true. Yeah, exactly, Yeah, definitely follow Rachel
on social media, follow us on social media and inside
the Mom's Club We're on all the platforms, and we
also want to thank today our sponsor, New Calm. We
absolutely love Newclm. Newcolm has our friendship because.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Spell it for us because it's always confusing and you
c a l M.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
And it is an app that helps you sleep better, focus, meditate, meditate,
create and energy energy from and I'd use it sometimes
when I exercise. I mean, it is great. And if
you put Mom's Club in the code of checkout, you
get fifteen percent off every month. Yeah, great discount for you,
(43:27):
so please be sure and do that. We also have
some exciting news. We are forming chapters. We're gonna have
chapters all over the country and we're starting now with
our live events, and we're gonna be having live events
soon in Nashville, Atlanta, and North Dallas and Shreveport. Check
the Inside the Mom's Club website for the local event details.
These are fun, free and informative. We're gonna have some
(43:50):
great guest speakers, and we're gonna have prizes people get.
Actually they you can win things at these events. We
have these events, We've already had some me people, you
meet you people. It's great and actually and the prizes
are great too. I tried once to throw my card
in there and thinking, oh I picked myself.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
I had to fish it out of the ball get
to play.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
But there's limited tickets available, so when you get the opportunity,
secure your ticket at inside the Moom's Club dot com. Well,
Julie again, this it was.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
I can't think of a better show to end on
finding joy or get your spark back, because Lord knows,
I have to ask myself that a lot.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
We're gonna We're gonna go get our spark back here
in Los Angeles. That's all the mom shopping is one
place where I do get my.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Sparknica has been waiting one hour to tell you that
shopping is.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
Where she gets like her joy from.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
Yeah, yes, I do get I do get it there.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
It's fun.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Well, we'll be back next time. Moms out there with
celebrities and extraordinary moms, and we know your meantime is
precious and valuable. Thanks so much for spending it with us.
Remember the Mom's Club motto. If you don't laugh, sometimes ladies.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
You are going to cry.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
So keep laughing out there. We'll see you next time
Inside the Mom's Club
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