May 3, 2020 • 14 mins
n October of 2009, a user on the internet took to comment sections on various blogs and articles and started leaving comments about key lime pies from a restaurant named Kutchie’s Key West Cafe. Comments like this are one of the reasons the internet is so great. In fact, entire social networks are devoted to leaving reviews like these, like Yelp. Even Google and Apple Maps have restaurant reviews built into the respective apps. If you find a restaurant or a dish you enjoy, it makes sense to take to the internet and spread that advice.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Go up, have freak tind andbite the ground. You make us rip
our things with a kite a seThe Mama's freaku Se Reformed Internet Show.
(00:26):
Hey everybody, before today's episode onKuchi's key Line Pies, I'd like to
plug Internet Freak shows new online presence. Until now, I haven't bothered to
set up a dedicated website or socialmedia account, but now you can visit
Internet freakshow dot com. It hasthe transcripts of these episodes, and I'm
slowly going back into each one andadding photos, links, or other information
(00:48):
so that you can do your ownresearch on any topic that you may have
stumbled across on this podcast. Ialso put a link there to our new
Instagram account, where I sporadically postphotos related to the stories from these episodes,
so please follow that account. Withall that out of the way,
let's dig into this episode. InOctober of two thousand and nine, a
user on the Internet took to thecomment sections on various blogs and articles,
(01:12):
leaving comments about key Line Pies froma restaurant named Cutchies Key West Cafe.
Comments like these are one of thereasons the Internet is so great. In
fact, entire social networks are devotedto leaving reviews like these. Like yelp,
even Google and Apple Maps have restaurantreviews built into those apps, so
you can find a restaurant or adish that you may enjoy, and it
(01:34):
makes sense to go to the Internetand spread that advice. The Cutchies Key
Line Pie poster, who I wouldrefer to as KLP from now on,
has posted on many different sites formany years, even using pseudonyms. The
strange part about this particular Internet mysteryisn't the post themselves. It's the fact
that the post started three years afterCutchies Key West Cafe closed, and the
(01:59):
comments were posted persistently for nearly adecade, hundreds and hundreds of times.
What would possess a person to taketo the Internet for eight years, over
seven hundred confirmed comments and at leastthirty five pseudonyms reviewing items from a restaurant
that no longer exists. That questionis the heart of this Internet mystery.
(02:20):
Many people on the Internet are tryingdesperately to unravel this mystery and find the
person responsible for posting these messages.So let's talk about this restaurant, Cuchi's
Key West Cafe opened in Asheville,North Carolina, in nineteen seventy eight.
Oswald Palaiez Junior, also known asKucci, and his wife Anita, owned
(02:42):
and operated this restaurant. It closedin either two thousand and five or two
thousand and six. There's very littleinformation about this restaurant and the Internet,
but if you dig deep enough,you can find newspaper articles that were written
about it. Residents of Asheville havechimed in with several mentioning their experiences the
restaurant and the food. Although themain topic of all of these random comments
(03:04):
across the Internet is their key LinePies. At the time, Cutchies was
actually known for their burgers. Foras little as is written about Cutchies online,
the Key Line Pie comments seemed toconfirm what is known about the restaurant.
Residents of Asheville who were familiar withCutchies when it existed, confirm many
of the statements made by the personposting these comments. The KLP poster mentions
(03:25):
a crocodile in the restaurant, aswell as visits from celebrities like Jimmy Buffett.
These facts are confirmed by Asheville locals, which seems to confirm that the
Cutchies poster is quite familiar with therestaurant, and this might seem obvious now,
but until Asheville residents confirmed this,there was a lot of speculation that
the KLP poster was just making thingsup, or that Cutchies was just a
(03:49):
random restaurant name that he found online. So let's dig deep into what these
posts say. I want to startout by giving credit to Mark Dungo three
three three on Reddit for stigating thismystery to figure out why and where the
Cutchye poster chooses to leave his messages. It seems clear at this point that
the Cutchies poster frequently googles certain wordsor phrases and then comments on those articles
(04:13):
or pages. Some of these searchesinclude key line, pie, burgers,
food cutchie, coutch, Palias,Anita, captain, Asheville, North Carolina,
Florida, keys, key West,and goody goody. These words and
phrases make sense as they're directly relatedto the posts that he or she is
(04:34):
making, but other phrases don't seemto apply at all, like hemmingway,
reggae, sharks, urban legends,net worth, market value, sex related
keywords like size matters better than sex, junk package, dick, naked body,
image modeling, pop culture, andpolitics. The content of these posts
(04:57):
vary wildly, and for the mostpart, the posts are totally unique,
although there are some exceptions to thatrule. The pseudonyms have different posting styles
as well. For example, JakeCarson almost always copies and paste his comments.
Another pseudonym, Willie Jordan, tendsto reply to articles and blog entries
about things of a sexual nature,although not pornographic. To the best of
(05:20):
the knowledge of the community, theKLP poster does not post pure pornography,
although Willie Jordan does sometimes skirt thatline. For an example, on an
article titled Naked, Willie Jordan lefta comment that read, you know,
down under our clothes, we areall naked as a bunch of j birds.
My seven and a half inches justflopping around down there in the breeze,
(05:43):
all my wife's beautiful attractive packages,butt naked and ready for my attention
on the drop of a hat.Yep, yep, all of us really
are butt naked, right before ourvery own eyes, just a few cloths
separating us from our true selves.I vote, along with Jessica, we
should all get butt naked together otherand smile with each other and love on
each other right now, and whilewe are separating our naked asses all over
(06:05):
each other, then perhaps we shouldtotally delight ourselves by ordering ourselves many of
those delightful, delicious Key Line piesto eat from Anita and Cuchie Palia's Key
Line Pie Factory and Grille in Asheville, North Carolina, near the built Moore
Estate. Yeah, that sounds likea plan. Indeed, are you ready
now? This comment is interesting tome because it references the blog post directly
(06:29):
and even references the author of thatblog post, Jessica. This particular blog
post was about skinny dipping, henceall the references to nudity there. So,
while Willie Jordan reads and replies tothe content of what he is posting
on another pseudonym named Roger Ramjet tendsto leave replies that are more generic and
seemingly disconnected from the articles themselves,like on a post about a man's life
(06:53):
story in Africa, he replied,Hey, Bob, do you know what
the difference is? In one ofCaptain Cutchi's famous King size sirloin steak sandwiches
and an Ashton Kutcher movie is answer, the steak Sandwich is good ha ha
ha, and don't forget the keyline Pie. It's to die for Roger.
From two thousand and nine to twoand thirteen, every KAlP post was
(07:16):
totally unique. Starting in two thirteen, replies started to get copied and pasted
on multiple articles. Users on Reddithave dutifully collected large lists of these copied
and pasted replies, and you mayassume a small amount of these replies,
but his library of posts to copyand paste from is very, very large.
(07:38):
I will link to some of thesereplies on Internet freakshow dot com,
but I'll read one of the shorterones now it reads. I sure hope
that this will be a great opportunityfor everyone to see some of Don's scenes
from his productions of his classic hitsTales from kutcher Ritaville. You know that
Rickles and Johnny Carson together produce thesecomedy hits with their friends mister Kuchie Palais
(07:59):
and their wild and crazy exploits ofKutchie's Key West and the world of key
Line Pies. From the perspective ofJohnny Carson, Don Rickles coutchie Peleias and
Steve Martin's Eyes. What a hootthese classic hits, Shirley are. Don't
miss them. Be sure to tunein next month. We laughed until we
cried watching these funny movies The Talesfrom Kucher Rideville. I think they may
(08:22):
still be available in a boxed set. All right, So to hear the
reasons why the KAlP poster may bedoing this, as well as a little
speculation about who it may be postingthese, please stay tuned after these words
from our sponsors. Okay, sonow we know about the restaurant, but
why is the KLP poster continuing topost these? Well, there's several theories
(08:43):
here. First up, some assumethat, based on the sheer volume of
these posts, this has to bean automated bot of some sort, And
this isn't a terrible theory. Boxesare certainly capable of replying to blog posts
with related content and current events andculture and other things that these posts have
done throughout the years. But whywould anybody create a bot to advertise a
(09:05):
restaurant that closed several years before thestart of the postings. While seven hundred
posts have been verified as KLP posts. There is some evidence, for example,
a discuss account with many posts removed, to believe that the real amount
of posts could be double that.But even if we assume fifteen hundred posts
over seven years, that's less thanone post per day. That is certainly
(09:30):
very doable for a dedicated person withtime on their hands. So I don't
think this is a bot. Isthis a tactic for SEO similar to a
service like Reputation Defender. Let's saythat somebody at some point left a negative
review for Cutchies on the internet.By flooding comment sections with some positive references
(09:52):
to Cutchies, it could theoretically pushthe negative comments out of search results,
and this is a pretty common tactic. But I have the exact same question
as I had before. Why botherdoing this for a restaurant that closed several
years before the postings began? Isthis some sort of alternate reality game or
performance art? This question comes upwith most online mysteries, and the answers
(10:16):
are always the same. If thisis an alternate reality game, it's a
bad one. It's got many,many years of clues and absolutely no payoff.
If this is some sort of onlineperformance art, it's also not a
very satisfying answer. And also,if this was performance art of some sort,
you'd assume that the person posting thesewould thrive on the attention. Unfortunately,
(10:39):
the opposite seems to be true here. In two thousand and sixteen,
seven years after the KAlP posts began, Reddit users outed him and started digging
into this mystery. In November oftwo thousand and sixteen, the Cutchy posters
started making references to people reading hisposts and discussing them online with phrases like
do you ever feel like You're beingwatched? In two and seventeen, there
(11:03):
were only three Cuchi's posts made.In early twenty and eighteen, he also
made three, and he hasn't resurfacedsince. So unless this is a very
shy performance artist who thrives on beingleft alone, I think we can rule
that out as an explanation. Okay, so who is this poster? Users
on Reddit have several theories, includingCucchie himself, Oswald Pleas Junior, or
(11:28):
maybe his son, or maybe evena mentally ill Asheville resident who used to
love the restaurant in the key linePies. They go so far as to
examine writing styles and the pop culturereferences to guess his age and gender in
the location of the poster. I'mnot going to speculate on his identity here,
but I will be sure to leavesome links on Internet freakshow dot com
(11:50):
with some threads that you can readto form your own conclusions. But for
me, I'm going to let thiscommenter live the way that he or she
wants to live anymously, without theprying eyes of the Internet needing to find
answers and investigate every single little thing. Sometimes the story is all about the
questions, and once those questions areanswered and the mystery is solved, the
(12:13):
magic is gone. Assuming that thisis Cutchie reliving his glory days or a
mentally ill person posting frantically, you'llprobably leave this story with different feelings,
and isn't that the whole point ofstories like these. I will end the
episode and leave you with the lastCutchie post we know about It reads Captain
Cutchie's award winning cheeseburgers in Paradise,king size sirloin steak sandwiches, and the
(12:39):
world's greatest key line pies could possiblybe the best food you'll ever eat in
this life. Available only at missAnita and Captain Cuchie Palaia's Key West kutcher
Ritaville Cafe, Grills and Bars,their historic nineteen seventeen Key Line Pie factory,
the best in the West. Theyserve the South with the finest amos
(13:00):
since nineteen seventy six in beautiful southAsheville, North Carolina, on US twenty
five South, just ten minutes southof the Builtmore House and Gardens, Mary
New Year. Y'all, I hopeto see you real soon. The Captain,
oh no, he's back. Thankyou for listening to this episode of
Internet Freakshow dot com. If youlove podcasts or want to start your own
(13:22):
podcast, please visit geeknrdery dot com. We've got podcasts on reality TV,
movies, pop culture, and more. Please visit the new Internet Freakshow dot
com for transcripts of these episodes,as well as some links to the related
pictures, videos, and more.Please leave a review of this show on
Apple Podcasts or whatever service you useto listen to this feed, and we'll
(13:45):
see you next time. Internet.Until next time, stay freeing he herd of me
Go up, have freak tind andbite the ground. You make us rip
our things with a kite a seThe Mama's freaku Se Reformed Internet Show.
(00:26):
Hey everybody, before today's episode onKuchi's key Line Pies, I'd like to
plug Internet Freak shows new online presence. Until now, I haven't bothered to
set up a dedicated website or socialmedia account, but now you can visit
Internet freakshow dot com. It hasthe transcripts of these episodes, and I'm
slowly going back into each one andadding photos, links, or other information
(00:48):
so that you can do your ownresearch on any topic that you may have
stumbled across on this podcast. Ialso put a link there to our new
Instagram account, where I sporadically postphotos related to the stories from these episodes,
so please follow that account. Withall that out of the way,
let's dig into this episode. InOctober of two thousand and nine, a
user on the Internet took to thecomment sections on various blogs and articles,
(01:12):
leaving comments about key Line Pies froma restaurant named Cutchies Key West Cafe.
Comments like these are one of thereasons the Internet is so great. In
fact, entire social networks are devotedto leaving reviews like these. Like yelp,
even Google and Apple Maps have restaurantreviews built into those apps, so
you can find a restaurant or adish that you may enjoy, and it
(01:34):
makes sense to go to the Internetand spread that advice. The Cutchies Key
Line Pie poster, who I wouldrefer to as KLP from now on,
has posted on many different sites formany years, even using pseudonyms. The
strange part about this particular Internet mysteryisn't the post themselves. It's the fact
that the post started three years afterCutchies Key West Cafe closed, and the
(01:59):
comments were posted persistently for nearly adecade, hundreds and hundreds of times.
What would possess a person to taketo the Internet for eight years, over
seven hundred confirmed comments and at leastthirty five pseudonyms reviewing items from a restaurant
that no longer exists. That questionis the heart of this Internet mystery.
(02:20):
Many people on the Internet are tryingdesperately to unravel this mystery and find the
person responsible for posting these messages.So let's talk about this restaurant, Cuchi's
Key West Cafe opened in Asheville,North Carolina, in nineteen seventy eight.
Oswald Palaiez Junior, also known asKucci, and his wife Anita, owned
(02:42):
and operated this restaurant. It closedin either two thousand and five or two
thousand and six. There's very littleinformation about this restaurant and the Internet,
but if you dig deep enough,you can find newspaper articles that were written
about it. Residents of Asheville havechimed in with several mentioning their experiences the
restaurant and the food. Although themain topic of all of these random comments
(03:04):
across the Internet is their key LinePies. At the time, Cutchies was
actually known for their burgers. Foras little as is written about Cutchies online,
the Key Line Pie comments seemed toconfirm what is known about the restaurant.
Residents of Asheville who were familiar withCutchies when it existed, confirm many
of the statements made by the personposting these comments. The KLP poster mentions
(03:25):
a crocodile in the restaurant, aswell as visits from celebrities like Jimmy Buffett.
These facts are confirmed by Asheville locals, which seems to confirm that the
Cutchies poster is quite familiar with therestaurant, and this might seem obvious now,
but until Asheville residents confirmed this,there was a lot of speculation that
the KLP poster was just making thingsup, or that Cutchies was just a
(03:49):
random restaurant name that he found online. So let's dig deep into what these
posts say. I want to startout by giving credit to Mark Dungo three
three three on Reddit for stigating thismystery to figure out why and where the
Cutchye poster chooses to leave his messages. It seems clear at this point that
the Cutchies poster frequently googles certain wordsor phrases and then comments on those articles
(04:13):
or pages. Some of these searchesinclude key line, pie, burgers,
food cutchie, coutch, Palias,Anita, captain, Asheville, North Carolina,
Florida, keys, key West,and goody goody. These words and
phrases make sense as they're directly relatedto the posts that he or she is
(04:34):
making, but other phrases don't seemto apply at all, like hemmingway,
reggae, sharks, urban legends,net worth, market value, sex related
keywords like size matters better than sex, junk package, dick, naked body,
image modeling, pop culture, andpolitics. The content of these posts
(04:57):
vary wildly, and for the mostpart, the posts are totally unique,
although there are some exceptions to thatrule. The pseudonyms have different posting styles
as well. For example, JakeCarson almost always copies and paste his comments.
Another pseudonym, Willie Jordan, tendsto reply to articles and blog entries
about things of a sexual nature,although not pornographic. To the best of
(05:20):
the knowledge of the community, theKLP poster does not post pure pornography,
although Willie Jordan does sometimes skirt thatline. For an example, on an
article titled Naked, Willie Jordan lefta comment that read, you know,
down under our clothes, we areall naked as a bunch of j birds.
My seven and a half inches justflopping around down there in the breeze,
(05:43):
all my wife's beautiful attractive packages,butt naked and ready for my attention
on the drop of a hat.Yep, yep, all of us really
are butt naked, right before ourvery own eyes, just a few cloths
separating us from our true selves.I vote, along with Jessica, we
should all get butt naked together otherand smile with each other and love on
each other right now, and whilewe are separating our naked asses all over
(06:05):
each other, then perhaps we shouldtotally delight ourselves by ordering ourselves many of
those delightful, delicious Key Line piesto eat from Anita and Cuchie Palia's Key
Line Pie Factory and Grille in Asheville, North Carolina, near the built Moore
Estate. Yeah, that sounds likea plan. Indeed, are you ready
now? This comment is interesting tome because it references the blog post directly
(06:29):
and even references the author of thatblog post, Jessica. This particular blog
post was about skinny dipping, henceall the references to nudity there. So,
while Willie Jordan reads and replies tothe content of what he is posting
on another pseudonym named Roger Ramjet tendsto leave replies that are more generic and
seemingly disconnected from the articles themselves,like on a post about a man's life
(06:53):
story in Africa, he replied,Hey, Bob, do you know what
the difference is? In one ofCaptain Cutchi's famous King size sirloin steak sandwiches
and an Ashton Kutcher movie is answer, the steak Sandwich is good ha ha
ha, and don't forget the keyline Pie. It's to die for Roger.
From two thousand and nine to twoand thirteen, every KAlP post was
(07:16):
totally unique. Starting in two thirteen, replies started to get copied and pasted
on multiple articles. Users on Reddithave dutifully collected large lists of these copied
and pasted replies, and you mayassume a small amount of these replies,
but his library of posts to copyand paste from is very, very large.
(07:38):
I will link to some of thesereplies on Internet freakshow dot com,
but I'll read one of the shorterones now it reads. I sure hope
that this will be a great opportunityfor everyone to see some of Don's scenes
from his productions of his classic hitsTales from kutcher Ritaville. You know that
Rickles and Johnny Carson together produce thesecomedy hits with their friends mister Kuchie Palais
(07:59):
and their wild and crazy exploits ofKutchie's Key West and the world of key
Line Pies. From the perspective ofJohnny Carson, Don Rickles coutchie Peleias and
Steve Martin's Eyes. What a hootthese classic hits, Shirley are. Don't
miss them. Be sure to tunein next month. We laughed until we
cried watching these funny movies The Talesfrom Kucher Rideville. I think they may
(08:22):
still be available in a boxed set. All right, So to hear the
reasons why the KAlP poster may bedoing this, as well as a little
speculation about who it may be postingthese, please stay tuned after these words
from our sponsors. Okay, sonow we know about the restaurant, but
why is the KLP poster continuing topost these? Well, there's several theories
(08:43):
here. First up, some assumethat, based on the sheer volume of
these posts, this has to bean automated bot of some sort, And
this isn't a terrible theory. Boxesare certainly capable of replying to blog posts
with related content and current events andculture and other things that these posts have
done throughout the years. But whywould anybody create a bot to advertise a
(09:05):
restaurant that closed several years before thestart of the postings. While seven hundred
posts have been verified as KLP posts. There is some evidence, for example,
a discuss account with many posts removed, to believe that the real amount
of posts could be double that.But even if we assume fifteen hundred posts
over seven years, that's less thanone post per day. That is certainly
(09:30):
very doable for a dedicated person withtime on their hands. So I don't
think this is a bot. Isthis a tactic for SEO similar to a
service like Reputation Defender. Let's saythat somebody at some point left a negative
review for Cutchies on the internet.By flooding comment sections with some positive references
(09:52):
to Cutchies, it could theoretically pushthe negative comments out of search results,
and this is a pretty common tactic. But I have the exact same question
as I had before. Why botherdoing this for a restaurant that closed several
years before the postings began? Isthis some sort of alternate reality game or
performance art? This question comes upwith most online mysteries, and the answers
(10:16):
are always the same. If thisis an alternate reality game, it's a
bad one. It's got many,many years of clues and absolutely no payoff.
If this is some sort of onlineperformance art, it's also not a
very satisfying answer. And also,if this was performance art of some sort,
you'd assume that the person posting thesewould thrive on the attention. Unfortunately,
(10:39):
the opposite seems to be true here. In two thousand and sixteen,
seven years after the KAlP posts began, Reddit users outed him and started digging
into this mystery. In November oftwo thousand and sixteen, the Cutchy posters
started making references to people reading hisposts and discussing them online with phrases like
do you ever feel like You're beingwatched? In two and seventeen, there
(11:03):
were only three Cuchi's posts made.In early twenty and eighteen, he also
made three, and he hasn't resurfacedsince. So unless this is a very
shy performance artist who thrives on beingleft alone, I think we can rule
that out as an explanation. Okay, so who is this poster? Users
on Reddit have several theories, includingCucchie himself, Oswald Pleas Junior, or
(11:28):
maybe his son, or maybe evena mentally ill Asheville resident who used to
love the restaurant in the key linePies. They go so far as to
examine writing styles and the pop culturereferences to guess his age and gender in
the location of the poster. I'mnot going to speculate on his identity here,
but I will be sure to leavesome links on Internet freakshow dot com
(11:50):
with some threads that you can readto form your own conclusions. But for
me, I'm going to let thiscommenter live the way that he or she
wants to live anymously, without theprying eyes of the Internet needing to find
answers and investigate every single little thing. Sometimes the story is all about the
questions, and once those questions areanswered and the mystery is solved, the
(12:13):
magic is gone. Assuming that thisis Cutchie reliving his glory days or a
mentally ill person posting frantically, you'llprobably leave this story with different feelings,
and isn't that the whole point ofstories like these. I will end the
episode and leave you with the lastCutchie post we know about It reads Captain
Cutchie's award winning cheeseburgers in Paradise,king size sirloin steak sandwiches, and the
(12:39):
world's greatest key line pies could possiblybe the best food you'll ever eat in
this life. Available only at missAnita and Captain Cuchie Palaia's Key West kutcher
Ritaville Cafe, Grills and Bars,their historic nineteen seventeen Key Line Pie factory,
the best in the West. Theyserve the South with the finest amos
(13:00):
since nineteen seventy six in beautiful southAsheville, North Carolina, on US twenty
five South, just ten minutes southof the Builtmore House and Gardens, Mary
New Year. Y'all, I hopeto see you real soon. The Captain,
oh no, he's back. Thankyou for listening to this episode of
Internet Freakshow dot com. If youlove podcasts or want to start your own
(13:22):
podcast, please visit geeknrdery dot com. We've got podcasts on reality TV,
movies, pop culture, and more. Please visit the new Internet Freakshow dot
com for transcripts of these episodes,as well as some links to the related
pictures, videos, and more.Please leave a review of this show on
Apple Podcasts or whatever service you useto listen to this feed, and we'll
(13:45):
see you next time. Internet.Until next time, stay freeing he herd of me
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