December 28, 2025 • 21 mins
Heart Leadership is all about living with integrity to which some would call it "walking the talk" - do what you say you'll do. In heart leadership it's more than that - integrity is a wholeness that encompasses out belief system on at such a deep level that it is impossible to split that which we believe from how we act. Integrity is believing, thinking, speaking and acting in alighnment with our personal values.....
Dream Dare Dazzle
Dream Dare Dazzle
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I love again everyone, and then we get many insights
from our little sojourn into emotional intelligence. Continuing with that
theme of understanding ourselves and others, I'd like to this
week talk about living with integrity and commitment. Living integrity
(00:31):
is one of the few truths of our leadership. It
has been called if you like, walking the top, but
it's more than acting in accordance with what we say.
Integraty is a wholeness that encompasses our belief system in
(00:53):
such a deep level it's impossible to sever what we
believe from how we act. That be within a professional business,
with their home life, within our communities. It's the way
we do, the way we are, the way we be.
(01:14):
I have spent a fair time with internal journeys myself
looking at my personal integrity. How our work, who I
work for and some of the clients have had over years,
have been very difficult to work with and approach workforce.
(01:37):
Let's call it partricia participation involvement from a make them
fields are important perspective, rather than from the perspective I
believe they really are important. It seems to me that
when workers are truly involved, they believe that really valued
(02:03):
and important. It can't be an act. People see right
through that the reading clients have had who I believe
intellectually except this being participation within the process, but really
in a deeper level driven by fear and of course
(02:26):
they need for control still act is. Most of the
wisdom that their organization has comes from the C suite,
the executive suite. It has been said that quite a
large percentage of what we communicate is non verbal, and
(02:47):
about fifty percent isn't even related to body language or
other non verbal signals. The fifty percent is a sense
people have about whether another person it has been true
and honest all about integrity when your leadership ownership management
(03:08):
is not complete integerary inside internally, people seem to know wow,
when what leaders are saying and doing isn't completely congruent
with their deeply held believes people intuitively no. I remember
(03:28):
I was working on one contract and a colleague of mine,
fortunately it was in and not me, it was like, oh,
this is sore. And they were going into a training
session that were there, and some of the wags there
(03:49):
had they said, oh, here we are, here's the management.
The trainers are consultants. Oh it's another Boheka system. Oh
my friend all puffed up and thought. It meant, oh
(04:11):
you mean eureka, we found something really special. No, no, no,
they said, Boheka. Bend over here it comes again. So
I'm sure you get this sentiment of where that is.
You're being, as some would call it, we're being sheep dipped.
Don't really believe it, but that's the company a line
(04:34):
human factors. Research continues to show that deeply held beliefs
people that intuitively know. Research shows is that people are
aware and they can tell when someone else has said
they lying. They can't tell you how they know, but
they do, and they're nearly always right. When two leaders
(04:58):
say the same ones in front of root some workers
and one builds commitment with others just provides a distraction
from the work of the day, it's integrity that makes
the difference. Our leader speaks from the heart with complete
commitment and integrity. The other just goes through the motions
(05:21):
but knows that change will never happen, and workers get
the message almost instantly. Many times, when people act in
a way that's not congruent with their deep beliefs and values,
they do so not with intent because they lack clarity
(05:42):
of what they believe that or because conflicting beliefs create
mixed messages within them and you're right, you've got it.
It sends mixed messages to others. Some people act of
sync with their integrity, and when they feel themselves from
pools and different directions, they're torn, torn between doing what
(06:04):
they know is right and what they believe is expected
of them. Finally, integre becomes an issue when individuals haven't
chosen to examine the messages that their actions center us.
What does that mean? How's that going to be received?
In these circumstances, it's essential to our integrity to seek
(06:28):
a deeper understanding of our values that brings expression to
our souls and have become conscious and intentional ensuring that
every action is compatible with our values. I believe vital
to integrity to know what do we truly believe in
(06:52):
These mixed messages often emerging an area of conflict. Most
of us give lip serviced importance of getting different perspectives
and decisions. We often fear won't be able to handle
the conflict that can come from it. Defends mechanisms and
(07:13):
other typical behaviors that follow can stifle the expression and
exploration of different views. When I work with leaders and
guiding them to discover, explore, understand their own integacy, I
question them repeatedly in one value to help them gain
(07:35):
more and more clarity about their own beliefs. When a
person tells me teamwork is important to him, ask what
team work means to them? What teamwork looks like and
when it happens? What is it there and what it
(07:56):
looks like when it doesn't, And how do as a
person's show teamwork as the person to assume that teamwork
isn't important, and I follow with questions about the areas
of personal life in which she or he fails to
demonstrate teamwork. People can discover that although they intellectually expouse steamwork,
(08:27):
other beliefs about control, perfectionism, self realize and responsibility and
a manager, I've got a job to create mixed messages
within them. The results a high level of personal stress
within themselves and the communication of mixed messages to others,
(08:50):
which leads to a perceived lack of integraty. If we're
to lead people, we must we must work and live
by integrity, and people must connect with us. The people
(09:15):
don't really know the dinny ken and don't know what
we stand for, what we believe in, or even who
we are as a person. The billy to trust us
leadership and by an extension you can call it followership,
it's going to be crippled. I've been working in many
(09:37):
organizations and part of what we're looking at is what
are core values and beliefs Connected to this podcast, I
lay and then close a pdf what talks about values?
And from values, it's about the behaviors that comes from that,
(10:00):
what's good, bad, and indifferent. It's part of a work
and a project I was doing in the Middle East.
It will give you some insights to what that look, sounds,
and feels like. But this all leads into the world
called commitment. Our leaders, are you committed? And it's tossed
(10:23):
around a lot these days, but you probably, and I'm
much the same, you probably don't see a lot of
real commitment. When I ask people what commitment is, the
answers again don't sound to me like commitment. Sometimes it
(10:43):
sounds like obligations or a mild interest. Other times people
make a commitment commitment as long as it isn't uncomfortable,
doesn't upset the routine or guarantees on outcome. I wonder
whether we've completely forgotten what a commitment is. A number
(11:08):
of years ago, signing and the board notice board that
a client's office cut my eye. It spoke of commitment
so simply and so well that I've used it a
number of times in my own personal development, because like
many others, I'm still working progress and it goes like this.
(11:37):
There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interesting something,
you do only when it's venient. When you're committed to something,
you accept no excuses and deliver. You produce only results.
(11:58):
We're coming to them of the old year and ready
to bounds to springboard into twenty twenty six. A new
year's resolution, it's attacked with zeal for three or four days.
Isn't commitment. Commitment is deciding how we're going going to
(12:21):
be on this planet, making it happen, accepting no excuses,
and producing only results. Many of us say that we're
committed to values, a vision, the course of action, or
rather team or group decision, when we're not really Often
(12:46):
we haven't explored what we pledged to support stirnly enough
to understand what commitment really means we shouldn't commit to
anything until we know that the commitment is an alignment
with our personal core values and purpose, until we know
(13:08):
that we'll not be able to do whatever it takes
to ensure we keep the commitment, except no excuses. It's
all about results. Some we could call lagging commitment. Sometimes
it urges because people get into a project, then they
find out that keeping commitment is more demanding than they
(13:32):
have a thought. Commitment could require skills or abilities that
need honing, or they call for confronting an anticipated resistance.
I think that we rarely commit to a challenging course
of action without discovering fear eye fear producing obstacles for
(13:57):
what we couldn't have been prepared for. Does that mean
we stop? No, If we're truly committed, we don't. It
does ever mean that we do get a wee bit
of fear or no sure uncertainty. We tap our core
release for support and keep our commitment in spite of
(14:18):
the fear. Jujon Jeffers is the book many years ago,
Feel the fear and do it anyway. It's pushing through
the fear, and that's when we know our value human beings.
It's not in producing perfection, but it's about doing. It's
about fulfilling, carrying through with our commitment with flexibility in
(14:44):
the spirit of learning a learning opportunity. If we hit
these roadblocks in the road, we find a way above
around below it, and that's where our skill, our commitment,
our resilience comes in. Commitment for me requires discipline and
(15:05):
thinking about acting consciously says a outcomes and learn how
to get closer? What who? What? What? Our values? Our
behaviors we believe they should be. We examine our commitment,
consider what can happen, grow on inside that could be
(15:27):
there to undermine a resolve, and look at how events
in the past could could stop us or restricted our
ability to fulfill to make it happen today. Critical to
the concept of commitment is the realization acceptance it's no halfway.
(15:54):
It's impossible to try to keep a commitment. Why they
keep it? What are we doing? Yoda and the Empires
strikes back said try. There's no try, there's only do
or not do. Commitment is doing, not trying. The very
(16:18):
essence of living from spirit is keeping all our commitments,
starting with those we make more and most importantly to ourselves,
the origin of lagging commitment often lies in lack of
intentionality our strategic will to make the commitment happen. We
(16:39):
often make a commitment without asking ourselves the question that
define it, our outlining what we need to do to
make it happen. For example, what does the commitment require?
What must I do to make sure the commitments carried out?
(17:02):
What must I refuse to do to make sure it's
carried out? How do I measure my progress? What support
systems are mechanisms do I or others need to make
to make sure the commitment is carried out? Why would
I want to be committed to this? I pretty core,
(17:22):
isn't it? What situations test or will test our commitment?
How do we what's our resilience? What's a response? And
those situations to ensure that we keep our commitment? It's
about living in in now, active, listening, doing learning. Companies
(17:49):
organizations spend loads of money developing visions, visions, values and
all the lovely words about guiding principles. They don't go
the next step, develop strategic will, easy to talk top
top top Walking the top requires that we search deepler
(18:11):
within ourselves and our organizations, or what gets in the
way of keeping her commitments. I regularly see managers saying
they want more involvement to make things happens. They never
asked the critical question, what will happened? That could undermine
(18:32):
miries of what I do, what I need to do
to ensure that I fall back I slip in a pinch.
A leader so called manager that I once told me
that he wanted to do leading edge work in his company,
(18:52):
yet he persisted and perpetuating traditional management programs and practices.
It was if he thought saying the word without doing
anything different would make it happen. It's a classic do
(19:13):
what you always do, get what you always get. Another
person who said repeatedly that she wanted to improve her
relationship with her former spouse, what did she do? Continue
talking about him in derougatory terms, blaming him for their problems.
(19:34):
She continually went back to her standard ways of doing
things without dealing with her joint custody of their children,
and everything she said was in a wind lose framework.
Loc she has said she wanted to improve relationship, she
(19:56):
didn't ask those critical questions that would help her develop
the intentionality to make the relationship. To change. A commitment
is meaningless without conscious developing the intentionality, the will to
make it happen. I'll leave you this week the words
(20:18):
of Yoda again try there's no try, there's only do
or not do. So, as this year was closing and
come to end, what will you commit to do in
twenty twenty six? What's your commitment for yourself? One thing
for yourself, one thing for your family, one thing for
(20:42):
your organization. Have a beautiful festive period and I look
forward to speaking to you next year. All the best.
By now it
I love again everyone, and then we get many insights
from our little sojourn into emotional intelligence. Continuing with that
theme of understanding ourselves and others, I'd like to this
week talk about living with integrity and commitment. Living integrity
(00:31):
is one of the few truths of our leadership. It
has been called if you like, walking the top, but
it's more than acting in accordance with what we say.
Integraty is a wholeness that encompasses our belief system in
(00:53):
such a deep level it's impossible to sever what we
believe from how we act. That be within a professional business,
with their home life, within our communities. It's the way
we do, the way we are, the way we be.
(01:14):
I have spent a fair time with internal journeys myself
looking at my personal integrity. How our work, who I
work for and some of the clients have had over years,
have been very difficult to work with and approach workforce.
(01:37):
Let's call it partricia participation involvement from a make them
fields are important perspective, rather than from the perspective I
believe they really are important. It seems to me that
when workers are truly involved, they believe that really valued
(02:03):
and important. It can't be an act. People see right
through that the reading clients have had who I believe
intellectually except this being participation within the process, but really
in a deeper level driven by fear and of course
(02:26):
they need for control still act is. Most of the
wisdom that their organization has comes from the C suite,
the executive suite. It has been said that quite a
large percentage of what we communicate is non verbal, and
(02:47):
about fifty percent isn't even related to body language or
other non verbal signals. The fifty percent is a sense
people have about whether another person it has been true
and honest all about integrity when your leadership ownership management
(03:08):
is not complete integerary inside internally, people seem to know wow,
when what leaders are saying and doing isn't completely congruent
with their deeply held believes people intuitively no. I remember
(03:28):
I was working on one contract and a colleague of mine,
fortunately it was in and not me, it was like, oh,
this is sore. And they were going into a training
session that were there, and some of the wags there
(03:49):
had they said, oh, here we are, here's the management.
The trainers are consultants. Oh it's another Boheka system. Oh
my friend all puffed up and thought. It meant, oh
(04:11):
you mean eureka, we found something really special. No, no, no,
they said, Boheka. Bend over here it comes again. So
I'm sure you get this sentiment of where that is.
You're being, as some would call it, we're being sheep dipped.
Don't really believe it, but that's the company a line
(04:34):
human factors. Research continues to show that deeply held beliefs
people that intuitively know. Research shows is that people are
aware and they can tell when someone else has said
they lying. They can't tell you how they know, but
they do, and they're nearly always right. When two leaders
(04:58):
say the same ones in front of root some workers
and one builds commitment with others just provides a distraction
from the work of the day, it's integrity that makes
the difference. Our leader speaks from the heart with complete
commitment and integrity. The other just goes through the motions
(05:21):
but knows that change will never happen, and workers get
the message almost instantly. Many times, when people act in
a way that's not congruent with their deep beliefs and values,
they do so not with intent because they lack clarity
(05:42):
of what they believe that or because conflicting beliefs create
mixed messages within them and you're right, you've got it.
It sends mixed messages to others. Some people act of
sync with their integrity, and when they feel themselves from
pools and different directions, they're torn, torn between doing what
(06:04):
they know is right and what they believe is expected
of them. Finally, integre becomes an issue when individuals haven't
chosen to examine the messages that their actions center us.
What does that mean? How's that going to be received?
In these circumstances, it's essential to our integrity to seek
(06:28):
a deeper understanding of our values that brings expression to
our souls and have become conscious and intentional ensuring that
every action is compatible with our values. I believe vital
to integrity to know what do we truly believe in
(06:52):
These mixed messages often emerging an area of conflict. Most
of us give lip serviced importance of getting different perspectives
and decisions. We often fear won't be able to handle
the conflict that can come from it. Defends mechanisms and
(07:13):
other typical behaviors that follow can stifle the expression and
exploration of different views. When I work with leaders and
guiding them to discover, explore, understand their own integacy, I
question them repeatedly in one value to help them gain
(07:35):
more and more clarity about their own beliefs. When a
person tells me teamwork is important to him, ask what
team work means to them? What teamwork looks like and
when it happens? What is it there and what it
(07:56):
looks like when it doesn't, And how do as a
person's show teamwork as the person to assume that teamwork
isn't important, and I follow with questions about the areas
of personal life in which she or he fails to
demonstrate teamwork. People can discover that although they intellectually expouse steamwork,
(08:27):
other beliefs about control, perfectionism, self realize and responsibility and
a manager, I've got a job to create mixed messages
within them. The results a high level of personal stress
within themselves and the communication of mixed messages to others,
(08:50):
which leads to a perceived lack of integraty. If we're
to lead people, we must we must work and live
by integrity, and people must connect with us. The people
(09:15):
don't really know the dinny ken and don't know what
we stand for, what we believe in, or even who
we are as a person. The billy to trust us
leadership and by an extension you can call it followership,
it's going to be crippled. I've been working in many
(09:37):
organizations and part of what we're looking at is what
are core values and beliefs Connected to this podcast, I
lay and then close a pdf what talks about values?
And from values, it's about the behaviors that comes from that,
(10:00):
what's good, bad, and indifferent. It's part of a work
and a project I was doing in the Middle East.
It will give you some insights to what that look, sounds,
and feels like. But this all leads into the world
called commitment. Our leaders, are you committed? And it's tossed
(10:23):
around a lot these days, but you probably, and I'm
much the same, you probably don't see a lot of
real commitment. When I ask people what commitment is, the
answers again don't sound to me like commitment. Sometimes it
(10:43):
sounds like obligations or a mild interest. Other times people
make a commitment commitment as long as it isn't uncomfortable,
doesn't upset the routine or guarantees on outcome. I wonder
whether we've completely forgotten what a commitment is. A number
(11:08):
of years ago, signing and the board notice board that
a client's office cut my eye. It spoke of commitment
so simply and so well that I've used it a
number of times in my own personal development, because like
many others, I'm still working progress and it goes like this.
(11:37):
There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interesting something,
you do only when it's venient. When you're committed to something,
you accept no excuses and deliver. You produce only results.
(11:58):
We're coming to them of the old year and ready
to bounds to springboard into twenty twenty six. A new
year's resolution, it's attacked with zeal for three or four days.
Isn't commitment. Commitment is deciding how we're going going to
(12:21):
be on this planet, making it happen, accepting no excuses,
and producing only results. Many of us say that we're
committed to values, a vision, the course of action, or
rather team or group decision, when we're not really Often
(12:46):
we haven't explored what we pledged to support stirnly enough
to understand what commitment really means we shouldn't commit to
anything until we know that the commitment is an alignment
with our personal core values and purpose, until we know
(13:08):
that we'll not be able to do whatever it takes
to ensure we keep the commitment, except no excuses. It's
all about results. Some we could call lagging commitment. Sometimes
it urges because people get into a project, then they
find out that keeping commitment is more demanding than they
(13:32):
have a thought. Commitment could require skills or abilities that
need honing, or they call for confronting an anticipated resistance.
I think that we rarely commit to a challenging course
of action without discovering fear eye fear producing obstacles for
(13:57):
what we couldn't have been prepared for. Does that mean
we stop? No, If we're truly committed, we don't. It
does ever mean that we do get a wee bit
of fear or no sure uncertainty. We tap our core
release for support and keep our commitment in spite of
(14:18):
the fear. Jujon Jeffers is the book many years ago,
Feel the fear and do it anyway. It's pushing through
the fear, and that's when we know our value human beings.
It's not in producing perfection, but it's about doing. It's
about fulfilling, carrying through with our commitment with flexibility in
(14:44):
the spirit of learning a learning opportunity. If we hit
these roadblocks in the road, we find a way above
around below it, and that's where our skill, our commitment,
our resilience comes in. Commitment for me requires discipline and
(15:05):
thinking about acting consciously says a outcomes and learn how
to get closer? What who? What? What? Our values? Our
behaviors we believe they should be. We examine our commitment,
consider what can happen, grow on inside that could be
(15:27):
there to undermine a resolve, and look at how events
in the past could could stop us or restricted our
ability to fulfill to make it happen today. Critical to
the concept of commitment is the realization acceptance it's no halfway.
(15:54):
It's impossible to try to keep a commitment. Why they
keep it? What are we doing? Yoda and the Empires
strikes back said try. There's no try, there's only do
or not do. Commitment is doing, not trying. The very
(16:18):
essence of living from spirit is keeping all our commitments,
starting with those we make more and most importantly to ourselves,
the origin of lagging commitment often lies in lack of
intentionality our strategic will to make the commitment happen. We
(16:39):
often make a commitment without asking ourselves the question that
define it, our outlining what we need to do to
make it happen. For example, what does the commitment require?
What must I do to make sure the commitments carried out?
(17:02):
What must I refuse to do to make sure it's
carried out? How do I measure my progress? What support
systems are mechanisms do I or others need to make
to make sure the commitment is carried out? Why would
I want to be committed to this? I pretty core,
(17:22):
isn't it? What situations test or will test our commitment?
How do we what's our resilience? What's a response? And
those situations to ensure that we keep our commitment? It's
about living in in now, active, listening, doing learning. Companies
(17:49):
organizations spend loads of money developing visions, visions, values and
all the lovely words about guiding principles. They don't go
the next step, develop strategic will, easy to talk top
top top Walking the top requires that we search deepler
(18:11):
within ourselves and our organizations, or what gets in the
way of keeping her commitments. I regularly see managers saying
they want more involvement to make things happens. They never
asked the critical question, what will happened? That could undermine
(18:32):
miries of what I do, what I need to do
to ensure that I fall back I slip in a pinch.
A leader so called manager that I once told me
that he wanted to do leading edge work in his company,
(18:52):
yet he persisted and perpetuating traditional management programs and practices.
It was if he thought saying the word without doing
anything different would make it happen. It's a classic do
(19:13):
what you always do, get what you always get. Another
person who said repeatedly that she wanted to improve her
relationship with her former spouse, what did she do? Continue
talking about him in derougatory terms, blaming him for their problems.
(19:34):
She continually went back to her standard ways of doing
things without dealing with her joint custody of their children,
and everything she said was in a wind lose framework.
Loc she has said she wanted to improve relationship, she
(19:56):
didn't ask those critical questions that would help her develop
the intentionality to make the relationship. To change. A commitment
is meaningless without conscious developing the intentionality, the will to
make it happen. I'll leave you this week the words
(20:18):
of Yoda again try there's no try, there's only do
or not do. So, as this year was closing and
come to end, what will you commit to do in
twenty twenty six? What's your commitment for yourself? One thing
for yourself, one thing for your family, one thing for
(20:42):
your organization. Have a beautiful festive period and I look
forward to speaking to you next year. All the best.
By now it
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