February 15, 2024 • 59 mins
Joanne's Healing Within - Season 7, Episode 5 "Why Boundaries Matter". Hosted by Joanne Angel Barry Colon. Joanne's Healing Within is aired live on Strong Island Television from Paradise Studios NY - www.strongisland.com
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Mmmmmmmm well hell Hello, Hello,Hello, and happy happy Thursday. Everyone.
(00:44):
Super excited to be here with youtoday. For those of you who
are not sure where you are andwho you're listening to or watching, you're
currently watching, well listening to Joan'sHealing Within. I am your host,
Joy And and you're Barry Cologne,your holistic integrated teacher, Raking mass Raiki
teacher, card creator, card reader, license and certified holistic personal trainer,
(01:07):
founder of Holistic Fitness located right herein New York and medical astrologer. And
there's so much more to my bio. But what we were there for now,
how is everybody doing today? Howis everybody feeling and being? And
did we also vive Valentine's Day?I think that's a funny question, right,
Yes, let's make note about titlefor today, why boundaries Matter.
(01:34):
And it's a really good topic,I believe, and I'm sure it's going
to be. Want to remind youif you missed the last episode, which
is season seven, episode twenty four. Oh my god, they cannot believe
we're already there. If you missedthat last episode, know that you could
definitely go and watch it on Roku, Amazon byer TV, Twitch TV.
You can also listen to it onSpotify, Audible and iHeartRadio woo who Yes
(01:57):
you can. And it was anamazing show. I was actually the guest
and it was all about them thecosmic directory to health insurance. Yes,
and I want to remind you beforeI dive into my partners that help make
the show go, we get theweek that in order to guarantee that you
do have health, it's really importantto take your health in your own hands,
(02:21):
which is why being healthy and strengthtraining is your guaranteed health insurance.
So all that being said, andI want to apologize for my lighting is
a little dim. I didn't expectthe sun to be still shining through,
but it is what it is.Right anyway, let me give a shout
out to you, my amazing partnersthat you help make the show one week
after week. We're gonna start offwith Joel Monkman. He is our personal
(02:45):
developed trainer. Then we have KittyBoudaway Fuss. She's the storyteller of astrology
and reader of the stars. Thenwe also have Timmy Moses. She is
the podcast host and the founder ofthe Weddings And by the way, she
is our guests for today. I'msuper excited for that the day you have
(03:05):
it, that you have it allof my amazing partners. So again,
let's just take a breadthful moment.Let's just top it tap into the energy
of today, considering it is Thursday. And in case you're not a way
of this, every day of theweek is ruled by a specific planet,
and today being it's Thursday, Thursdaysare ruled by Jupiter's energy. So this
(03:29):
is a great day for an expansion. And currently Jupiter is in Taurus energy,
which is about the relationship that youhave with others, yourself, your
physical and material possessions, and ofcourse your physical body. Now, with
that being said, in Jupiter beingthe ruler of Thursday's energy, the moon
(03:52):
is currently in taurists as well,so there's a lot going on there.
I like to believe that anytime wehave multiple planets sitting in one sign,
that particular time signs becuse me,it gets lit up. And for those
of you who have sun moon orrising, which is also known as your
sunding sign in Taurus, there's alot going on there. For you have
(04:12):
an expansion happening, and then youmay be dropping into your feelings as well.
In addition to both Jupiter and theMoon being in Torus energy, I
want you to also be aware thatVenus is the ruling planet to Tous energy
in addition to Libra as well,and Venus is about love, relationships,
(04:38):
beauty, money, value, howyou value yourself your self worth as well.
And I think that really fols reallynicely into the topic for today of
why boundaries matter with all the energythat we do have sitting in Toraus energy
right now. So I like todo before we go further, I want
to pull a card for you tohelp you connect with your shopper, help
(05:00):
you do perhaps get a word thatyou could use for your day as a
matra. And let's see what numbersshow up for us today. So let's
go over all of that. AndI know it sounds like a lot,
right yeah, all right, onemore shuffle, let's play this through.
Ah interesting card to be showing up. So for you people out there who
are watching live gives required for theday, you can redeem a reiki treatment
(05:27):
at four twenty two dollars. Soif you're interested in redeeming a Reaki treatment
with twenty two dollars, you cango ahead and email healing within seven six
at gmail dot com. In fact, does apply a flyer with Mike QR
code that you could definitely go aheadand scan and those who are listening to
the show again that email is healingwithin seven six at gmail dot com.
(05:51):
The reiki treatment will be twenty twodollars. You have twenty four hours to
go ahead and redeem this. Sothose are you watching live even on the
replay, we have twenty four hoursto redeem this for twenty two dollars.
It's the heart choker. So thisis about dropping into the heart and allowing
your heart to be open to receivingwhatever it is you wish to receive.
(06:13):
With all this Torus energy, thedouble Zeros is reminding you that you do
have choices and a lot and alot of potential going forward. So that's
a great car to start the dayoff it, don't you think. All
Right, So all that being said, we're gonna dive into a commercial.
I'm gonna bring that flyer back upfor those of you who are interested in
reaching out to me. I knowwe saw the flyer a few minutes ago.
(06:33):
I'm sure it's gonna happ up againmy flyer with the QR code on
it, so those of you who'sto stand on it, you can.
And if it doesn't pop up rightaway and no good thing, We're gonna
take that quick commercial break and Iwill be back. And when I come
back, I'm gonna be introducing myguest for today. I'll be right back.
(06:56):
Maybe it's not time for a commercialbreak yet, maybe you Bobby's got
other things in mind. Anyway,I guess I'll just stay on until that
commercial break happens. Meanwhile, tappingback into twelve card for the day,
that hot energy. When we thinkabout it, it really is about matters
of the heart and how boundaries aregonna play a big part in the matters
(07:18):
of the heart. So again,if you are interested in redeeming your reiki
treatment for twenty two dollars, youhave twenty four hours from today to redeem
that reiki treatment for twenty two dollars, whether you watch to be Alive or
on the replay. So I'm notreally sure what's going on in the background
(07:39):
there. Anyways, I guess I'mgonna keep going until somewhere along the line
something shifts here. So, asI'm speaking about the energy of today being
the moons and tourists and Jupiter.Jupiter rules Thursday's energy. And that's not
just for today, that's every Thursday. Jupiter rules this energy. Jupiter is
(07:59):
about your expansion, not just yourspiritual expansion. It's also your spiritual wisdom.
And one last thing I want tobring to the table when we talk
about Jupiter's energy, we go outin the expansion. It's also about expanding
body weight. Now I spoke alot about this in the last episode,
So if you did not catch thatlast episode, we go ahead and watch
(08:20):
the last episode again. That wasepisode twenty four, season seven. You
can catch that on Rod Crew,Amazon, fireTV, Twitch TV. If
you want to listen to it whileyou're driving, you can listen on Spotify,
iHeartRadio or Audible as well. Allright, let's see what's cooking?
(08:43):
What is going on? Why amI not? Let's find out what is
actually going on? What is cooking? What is going on? Let's see?
I am ready for a commercial break? Is everything okay? Are we
(09:05):
tuning in? H I am confused? Anyway? Let me just see there
we go commercial. Everything's fine,honey, Do your think you want to
go to what's the matter. What'sthe matter on your end? Nothing the
matter? I was ready for acommercial break? Are we going to a
commercial break? When do you askme? You tell me you don't ask
(09:30):
for a commercial break. You tellme We've been doing this for years,
and you've never asked me to goto a commercial break. You I mentioned
the commercial break three minutes ago,a commercial break. I don't know what
happened to you. Let's do it. Let's do it. Then go for
(09:52):
it. You say it, andI'm going to do it all right?
All right, folks, we're gonnabe taking that Come how you break so
you can go get some water.We'll be coming right back. And when
I get back, well to sharethat card again, and then I'll be
sharing my guests for today. Helloand welcome. I'm Joanne Angel Barry Cologne,
(10:22):
your holistic integrative teacher, licensed personaltrainer, Reiki master, published author,
and card creator. Let me takeyou down a path of direct communication
with the physical body in order tobecome more aware and in sync with your
soul. I will help you toobserve and understand the language of the body
(10:50):
as it regards to the needs ofthe soul. Join me on this journey
of great expansion and a unique experience. I will help you integrate your mind,
body and soul as you move forwardon your journey. For questions,
(11:11):
readings, and self growth discovery sessionemail Healing Within seven six at gmail dot
com. Hello and welcome back toJoan's Healing Within. For those of you
who are just tuning in, I'myour host doing Anddeo Bary Cologne, and
today's topic is all about why boundariesmatter. And like I said, if
(11:33):
you're just tuning in, you missjust a small segment on the first part
of the show, I'm going toshare with you the card of the day,
which is what I always do.This card you mentioned the message here
is about a Waki treatment. Sothose of you who are watching live or
even on the replay, you havetwenty four hours from today to go ahead
and redeem a Waki treatment for twentytwo dollars. You can go ahead and
(11:56):
email Healing Within seven six gmail dotcom to redeem your session. The shock
of the day is the heart energy, which is opening your heart up so
you can receive whatever there is thatyou're looking to receive you at this time.
So there's your card. Super excitedto share that with you, and
(12:16):
I like to bring in my guestsTimmy, Moses Shelive and have an amazing
conversation. Hello, my darling,how are you today? I'm doing well.
How are you? I'm doing verywell. I'm loving the topic why
boundaries matter? So how'd you comeup with that topic? Just to dive
into that first, and then we'regonna really introduce who you are and what
(12:37):
you do well. I think aboutboundaries like fences. Good fences make good
neighbors, and I think good boundarieskeep us healthy so that we function well,
(12:58):
and that allows other people to functionwell also, And so I think
that it's an important conversation to havebecause a lot of people, and I
can speak from my own experience,didn't necessarily grow up having that modeled or
(13:20):
didn't really learn how to make boundariesor set them well. So now I
think that it's just important for peopleto understand that it's okay to have some
kind of limit on what you willtolerate. And I think that's great love
(13:41):
that. I love that idea abouthaving a sense to separate our neighbors and
ourselves, to have boundaries where theyknow that when that data is closed or
not before they decide to walk in. That's a great idea. I love
that Cherry tell us a little bitabout what it is you do your obviously
(14:03):
podcast, let the audience know alittle bit about you well. I focus
on the issue of excessive clutter andhoarding and more specifically how that impacts us
in our relationships and in our homes. Often people like, if you're in
(14:26):
a relationship with someone, and itcould be a roommate, it could be
a loved one, it could bea parent, or your own kid maybe,
and one of you might have alittle more clutterbug tendency than the other,
and that can cause friction in yourhome environment and being able to talk
(14:46):
about what is the issue there andresolve it will create more harmony in your
home. And so I have foundpeople are able to restore relationships when they
focus on creating a better environment thatthey are trying to expose people to.
(15:07):
And I talk about it on thepodcast The Hoarding Solution podcast as well.
In some of my experiences growing upwith parents that had hoarding issues and now
dealing with an elderly parent that hasthis issue, and it can be really
challenging to navigate these situations, anda lot of times that the conversation isn't
(15:31):
the primary thing that we are talkingabout. A lot of times the hoarding
issue is the elephant in the roomas well as how that impacts relationships.
And I feel part of my taskhere on this journey is to talk about
these things and help other people alsoknow they're not alone and that you can
(15:56):
choose something different and any moment youcan to you something different. Yes,
I love that. I love that, And in regardless to boundaries and also
hoarding for that matter, I geta sense that there's a connection there in
regards to someone that may have ahoarding know, we want to use the
(16:21):
world issue or challenge, whatever theword we want to use in regards to
maybe not being able to set aboundary, and that could be how they
set the boundary. Does that makesense? Yes? And I think that
there can be a lot of peoplepleasing involved with these things where you don't
want to say no to something becauseyou're afraid someone will be offended or so.
(16:51):
I've seen this come up a lotrecently around the issue of gifting and
receiving gifts that you maybe don't need, didn't ask for, or can't use,
yet you feel somewhat guilty about movingit along, whether that's sharing it
with someone else or if it's comingfrom an extreme hoarded situation, you may
(17:14):
have to toss the item because itmay not be salvagable, may have an
odor. But I see it alot with what do I do with these
things I don't need? Or whatare these? You know? And it
could be gifts you got ten yearsago and you don't want to get rid
of it because you have an attachmentto that item because of who gave it
(17:37):
to you. And the thing that'sreally coming up for me right now is
a cookie jar that was my grandma's. And as you're saying it, I'm
running in my head a list oflike all the things that are sitting like
that, considering what is it now? I think all just about maybe seven
months ago that I moved into mynew place and took some stuff with me
(18:00):
in the process of when we move, and most people do this, we
decluse things and then we sometimes don'tdeclose things because, just like Tammy saying,
there's memories that we hold with whateverthe things are, and it's like,
Okay, I don't want to holdon to this do I want to
give rid of it, don't wantto take a picture of it and save
it, And that whole thing goesthrough. So just as you're saying what
(18:22):
you're saying, it's like I'm runningin my head like, yeah, I
have a lot of that stuff.And the thing is is that it isn't
in itself. It's not bad tohave that attachment or that memory or that
desire to keep the item. Butwhen you get to a point when you
can't use your space anymore because ofall the things you've collected over time,
(18:45):
that can be an issue that youhave to deal with. And moving is
a great example of, hey,I don't think I want to do this.
I moved a couple of years agoand I started looking at things as
I don't want to look at thisthing again. I don't want to have
to make this decision later. Andthat helped me to kind of clarify what
(19:08):
am I taking with me. AndI still ended up with stuff at the
end that I donated and did whatever, you know, but it really came
down to I don't want to dealwith it anymore. And like I was
talking about the cookie jar thing,and so at the time a few years
ago, I gave it to myboyfriend, right, And now I realize
(19:30):
we moved and we're moving into anew house, and I'm like, that
cookie jar is actually still here,and it's not a bad thing necessarily,
It's just I'm realizing I do havesome attachment to it, and maybe it's
not so bad that I gave itto someone that and I'll be seeing it
(19:52):
again. But if you have onehundred cookie jars and that's all over your
counter and you can't cook, oryou can't wash dishes, or you can't
function, you know, you mighthave to reconsider how many of those do
you actually need? And as youmentioned, could I take a picture of
each of them and maybe write downa little story about how I got it
(20:15):
or who it came from, andthen move it along like and it's okay
to learn to release some of thosethings, but it can become a boundary
issue when you know, maybe someonehas been giving you all those cookie jars
and now you've decided to stop,You've decided to stop collecting them, but
(20:40):
yet the person in your life keepsbringing them to you, yes, collecting
them yet so how do you navigatethat? And sometimes people will continue even
though you expressly said, hey,I'm not collecting these anymore, I don't
have room, I'm downsizing, I'mmoving. But people don't necessary hear what
(21:00):
you're saying. And I think alot of times people think they set boundaries
so other people will obey. Butit's not you can't make other people do
it. It's what will you tolerateand how will you handle it? And
you know, that's what you haveto look at, and how how do
(21:21):
you want to operate, how doyou want to be, you know,
going forward? And I think alot of times that's a hard thing for
people to recognize that the boundary isabout what you'll tolerate, not to force
other people to do something exactly exactly. In fact, for me, when
(21:41):
I started doing oh my God,probably about let maybe five years ago,
during Christmas and even my birthday.And what's more specifically for Christmas is for
relatives that you want to buy mesomething, I give them a list of
things. I give them like threeitems of things that I would and I
give each person a different three setof three set of items. I don't
(22:04):
all give. I don't give thesame three items because then I'll get a
whole lot of that just for you. It possibly stops them from buying something
for me that they think I wouldlike that ends up being more like a
dust collective or something I really wanted, you know. So I, you
know, that was like my boundarysetting, and it seems to be working
(22:25):
because I only really now get thethings that I really want, and being
able to express that and not beafraid of their response to you is kind
of where I fall, where like, I'm responsible for what comes out of
my mouth and what I say andwhat I do, but I'm not responsible
(22:48):
for what other people do, andI can't stop them from buying something that's
not on my list. But Ican decide, hey, this isn't something
I really am going to use,and I can pass it along and not
feel guilty about that. But sometimesyou'll have someone in your life who will
come over and visit you and ask, hey, where is this thing I
(23:12):
gave you? So how do youHow do you navigate that without offending someone
you know? And so then itcomes back to how are you going to
manage that situation? How are yougoing to have that conversation? And again,
some people will hear you and otherpeople won't, And you just have
(23:33):
to decide which how are you goingto direct your energy about this situation?
And it can even that in itselfcan be tiring now to figure out,
well, how are you going todo this without you know, causing issues,
But sometimes you know, you haveto cause an issue to get to
(23:53):
where you're trying to go. Andit can be doesn't have to be a
bit blowout, but it can be, especially if you're dealing with a hoarding
situation. But you know, becausethere is this belief sometimes that everything the
person who hoards they want to giveto their kids and they want their kids
(24:17):
to be okay with that, andthe kid doesn't have to be okay with
that, and that could cause riftsbetween people. And I understand. Sometimes
the china or the hutch or thething whatever it is can be very there's
a legacy there, there's history there, and the parent doesn't want to just
(24:40):
put it on the side of theroad or donate it or whatever. But
still the kid, the adult kidhas the right to say, hey,
I don't really want this thing.Maybe give it to someone else, maybe
donate it somewhere, maybe take apicture, you know, and sell it.
Like there's other ways for you tomove it along without burdening the people
(25:03):
who are telling you, hey,I don't I really don't want this thing,
thank you, but no exactly exactly, and sometimes too, even with
boundaries and being let's say, fearfulof hurting somebody's feelings, sometimes a part
of the boundary process is being truthful, being straight up truthful to the person
to say, look, I don'twant the clutter anymore or not collecting that
(25:25):
anymore, and I just don't needthat anymore. And whether they hear it
or not again, as you've mentioned, is really not your job about it,
and that that you continue to party, you know, buy you the
same items all the time. Again, were we freely have the right to
say, okay, well I'm justgonna don't need this over to somebody else.
So yes, I'm loving I'm lovingI'm loving this topic of boundaries because
(25:49):
I think boundaries are a really bigand important process for everybody, especially nowadays,
in order to honor who we areand honor all the people that are
around as well. And it's reallyabout maintaining some kind of sanity, it's
about maning some kind of privacy.And I think with our spill over now,
(26:12):
to work and home and all sincein the last few years. I
think even that is an important pieceof it. To figure out, am
I going to stop working at acertain time? Am I going to just
go with the flow? Which room? Am I going to allow my employer
to see? You know, orother people that or your clients like and
(26:36):
and there you know, there's somelaughter about you know, the cat ran
his rear through my thing, orI didn't do my hair, or I'm
not ready to be on camera.But you know, that's all very valid
for you to look at. Andif you can create a space, even
if it's a corner that you're comfortablesharing with other people, then that's I
(26:57):
think that's perfectly acceptable. I don'tI don't feel like the entire world needs
to see every room in my houseif I don't choose to show that.
But and even just like how manypets am I going to have? Where
am I going to live? Howam I going to live? Like?
(27:18):
And especially if you're young and you'rejust figuring this out. Of course I'm
older and I'm still figuring it out. But if you're still if you're trying
to navigate some of these things,it's okay. To look at what's acceptable
to you, you know, andit's it can be challenging if you have
a roommate or if you're in adorm, or if you even if you
(27:41):
go in the military and you havea roommate, Like there's the military standards,
but there's also what your personal standard? What are you willing to tolerate?
And I think you really have tolook at also how are you contributing
to it? You know, areare you? Are you giving me messages
which can totally happen, you knowexactly. So what we're going to do
(28:06):
before we go further, because there'sso much to this topic of boundaries and
setting boundaries and when to set boundariesand how do we feel about boundaries and
who likes us when we have boundariesand who doesn't like us when we have
boundaries. So what we're going todo is Tammy just let everybody know how
they can reach you. There isa fly with this information on it as
well, so you can reach meat the Hoarding Solution dot com and I
(28:33):
have a podcast called the Hoarding Solutionand also I have a group on Facebook,
the Hoarding Solution Community where you canjoin us where we talk about all
this stuff. Excellent. So we'regoing to take a quick commercial break and
we're going to come back and we'llshare some more about boundaries and how this
topic today is in really a perfecttiming. I'm gonna share a little bit
(28:53):
about that too. We'll be rightback. Wow wow wow Wow. Hi
(29:45):
everyone, Kitty beat at wink Fastthe storytelling astrologer, Reader of the Stars,
and I'd like to invite you tojoin me on Intuition of the Soul
on Facebook, a free private Facebookgroup where I post a daily energy reading
all about how you can navigate yourday. Also reach out into a Show
of Thesoul eleven at gmail dot comif you want to personalized reading to find
(30:07):
out about how your circuitry works.No mistay, Hey, this is Joe
Monkman and I am a personal developmenttrainer and that means that I help people
step into their leadership roles, taketheir place as a visionary, really understand
their own mastery in the world sothat they can really find their place at
(30:30):
the buffet of life. And ifyou want to know more, you can
find me on my Facebook page atJoe Monkman and Joe Monkman at gmail dot
com. Hello, and welcome backto Joanne's Dealing Within. For those of
you are just tuning in, I'myour host Joanne and jo Barry Cologne.
If you did miss the first twosegments, know that you can always go
(30:52):
back and watch I will cu Amazonvia TV, Twitch tv, and for
those who listen and you can listenon Spotify, Audible or iHeart Radio.
I'm going to bring my guests backJimmy Moses as we chat about why boundaries
matter, and just before we wouldgo on the commercial break, I had
said that this topic was such perfecttiming. And what I mean by that
(31:18):
is, as I said earlier inthe introduction, based on all the energy
we had going on Venus the planetof love, relationships, beauty, money,
and how we value ourselves plays abig role in creating boundaries for ourselves
and regards to being respected, beingheard, being seen, and I'm going
(31:40):
to say this word again, beingheard. Sometimes we say things and people
really don't pay much mind because ofthey have boundaries or the lack of how
the self worth process of it all. So I go to this topic was
so perfectly aligned. When Tammy sentme the title, I was like,
oh perfect, because I'm sure,there's lots of people out there right now
(32:01):
that are really thinking about their relationshipswith themselves and with others. And how
when you were talking about people whoare working from home, where do they
have a boundary? And reference that? Theoretically, if they're working at a
job at an actual place, whenwork is finished at let's say five o'clock,
they literally go home. But ifthey're working from home and it hit
(32:24):
five o'clock, do they still continueto work? And that is really about
setting a boundary to say work isfinish. So for you, Tammy,
when we speak about the boundaries matter, why do you think boundaries are so
important? I mean especially for hoarding. You know, a hoorting solutions and
(32:45):
all the clothes that shows up.Why is it so important for that reason?
So, what I have discovered isthat often a loved one, the
adult child, a neighbor, afriend, someone from a church or your
place of worship, someone might besuper concerned about someone that has a hoarding
(33:10):
issue, and often they are theones that see the issue. Not everyone
that has a hoarding situation recognizes thatthere's a problem. Some people are more
aware, I would say, andnot but not everyone is. And so
(33:30):
often the loved one or the friendor family member is really saying, how
do I help this person? Butthat person doesn't want help. Particularly so
for many of the people I've workedwith, we have to back up a
little bit and ask how are youdoing? You know, how much can
(33:53):
you devote to this person? Howis it going to impact your family?
How's it going to impact you?Or mental health? And most many people
are taken aback by that approach becausethey're really focused on here's the problem over
here. But it's kind of thatthing where you can't pour from an empty
cup. And if your assistance isgoing to completely deplete your energy and cause
(34:21):
your relationships to suffer, then youhave to really look at what does help
actually look like. And it couldbe Hey, I have a concern Susie,
and here's what I'm seeing, andI would love to at least let
you know I care about you.And oh, by the way, here's
(34:42):
a couple a thing I came acrosson the internet, or I'm reading this
book that I got at the library. You might like it too, and
being supportive but not necessarily being theone that steps in to save the day,
and that that can be hard tohear. When you see someone who's
really struggling in in your mind,it would take you know, two days
(35:07):
to clear it out, and youhave to look at what can you actually
devote to that. At the sametime, someone might be asking you for
help, and you still have tolook at how can I actually help what's
going to be beneficial? And theother piece of that is you may have
(35:27):
arrangements. You plan to go helpthis person on a Saturday. You're supposed
to be there at ten. Youguys agreed to work for two hours,
and they call you or text youat nine point forty five and say,
I can't make it today. Idon't feel well, which could be legitimate,
but it's also a way to pushoff what needs to happen. And
(35:47):
so you you have to decide,Okay, if they do that twice,
am I going to offer a thirdtime? Or am I going to say,
hey, I've already offered twice andboth times this happened. So here's
this other resource I found. Letme know if you change your mind,
And it's so you can not sufferand struggle and worry because you've already done
(36:14):
that decent thing, right, You'vealready offered to come alongside them. And
I experienced it myself when I wasyounger with when both my parents were living
where we had it all planned witha church group and all these things,
and at the last minute it waslike, Oh, I can't, I
can't do that. It's not theright time, it might snow, it
(36:34):
might rain, I'm not ready,And all those things could be valid for
that person. But if you haven'tdealt with the issue, if you've been
able to have no limits placed onyou for a long time, it can
be very difficult to have someone comein and say, hey, we're gonna
(36:55):
do this today, and your approachabout that matters. But that's kind of
a different topic. But it isabout what will you tolerate or if you're
doing a cleanup, what will youprovide? Will you bring trash bags?
Are you paying for the masks?Who's paying for the dump fees? Like
if you get real nuts and boltsin that situation that those are boundaries to
(37:19):
me. You determine how much youcan devote, and it may the answer
may be nothing. You may haveno extra anything to devote to this situation
because a lot of times nothing reallyhappens until it's a crisis, and you
might already be in a crisis,or you might already have a lot of
things you're managing and you may notbe able to take that on. And
(37:44):
that can be a really we canfeel really guilty, right like we've known
there's a problem, we've wanted tohelp, we can't. But guilt is
kind of a It can be motivating, but I don't find it to be
the best motivator. Yes, exactly, and give in. God's what you
(38:06):
are saying regard even we're talking aboutthe boundaries and the clutter, the hoarding.
You going into someone's home that obviouslyyou see that they have a hoarding
issue. The boundary for yourself isto recognize that. Okay, I know
I need to maybe step back andfirst find out if they are ready to
(38:30):
even look at whatever it is thatthey have gone on to recognize and not
that in their mind they may noteven see it as a hoarding issue.
They may just see it as allthat stuff that they do have, that's
their boundary. That's how they createtheir own boundaries without actually saying no,
I don't want you over. Andthis is just general, not the person
who's there right now. No,I don't want you over. So they
(38:52):
figured that if they have a lotof stuff in their way, it prevents
company from coming in. And that'show the person who does have a boarding
issue sets up their own boundary.So if we come in there looking to
clean up their boarding stuff, we'reliterally we may be actually destroying their process
(39:13):
of their boundary. If we thinkabout it in that way, it's like
they may not be so quick toone our support because maybe unconsciously they're like,
well, this prevents people from comingin because I don't have any stakes
for people to be here. Andit's very true that it is a wall,
(39:35):
it is a boundary around themselves,and they have been hurt by people,
so if you don't let people in, those people can't hurt you.
And the other part of it isit is their stuff, right, it
is their collection. It is thingsthey have gotten over time, and so
(40:00):
it can be really difficult for themto allow anyone to come in there to
help them at all. And theother part of it is there's usually underlying
things going on and things that haven'tmost likely been addressed, whether it's trauma
or depression or anxiety or loss ofa loved one or a pet or like
(40:22):
there's all these things that are boilingunderneath, and a lot of times people
don't see the correlation between the anxietythey're experiencing in the amount of stuff that
they have that they're trying to useto soothe. It's almost like a self
soothing thing, I think sometimes andmy experience is if you're in a position
(40:50):
where you're ready for changes, thingswill go faster. If you are not
and you haven't prepared yourself in anyway, things will go a lot much
slower. And exactly think about it, think about it this way. How
many times, and I fall intothis category as well, how many times
(41:12):
in your lifetime that you're expecting companyover a friend or family member, whatever,
not in the night before or theday of. And this is this
actually really falls through for like holidayseason, where people are like going through
this thorough cleaning, like they're puttingthings or organizing every day to make the
house look total quo perfect, toget everything out of the way, so
(41:34):
people don't see what they actually havein their house. So it's like we're
even setting up that boundary and referenceto like, Okay, I have to
do this deep cleaning because I'm havingcompany over because I want them to want
to I want them to see mein a certain light that may not necessarily
be what the certain light is,and even that can be I mean,
(41:58):
there's stories of kids right that grewup and every time someone was coming over,
they had to shove you know,it was like a big deal,
and they had to shove everything intheir room or their closet so that it
would present well to guests. Butthen you know, within forty eight hours
after that event, it's a rightback the closet again, And that can
be you know that that is somethinglike you learn how to do that.
(42:24):
I mean, I learned, likeyou could just shove everything in the laundry
basket, right and put it inthe guest room to shut the door.
Well, that's fine until you havefifteen laundry baskets piled up with stuff you
haven't dealt with, and then youknow, that becomes overwhelming, even if
you don't have a hoarding issue andall you're doing is just moving the stuff
out of the way. And soand you know, I have, like
(42:52):
I feel like I'm hyper vigilant alot of times about what other people will
think or say about me based onmy upbringing, right, Like if they
knew my history and they saw onedust bunny, they might think, oh,
this person can't keep a house,right, And so I'm super focused
on the dust bunny. In reality, nobody else is really paying any attention
(43:15):
to that because they're enjoying the meal, or they're talking to other people,
or or they don't. People aren'tas focused on that necessarily as we think
they are. It's our own storythat we're telling ourselves that this person's gonna,
you know, say I'm abusing myanimals because I have a dust bunny,
you know, which is completely unreal. But they go there, you
(43:38):
know exactly, all right, Tammy. Let everybody know how they can reach
you should they want you to findout more about those things you do as
the found of the Hoarding Solution,So you can reach out to me at
the Hoardingsolution dot com and I havea blog there, podcast episode Let's go
(44:00):
there, and I'm happy to connectwith folks. Excellent. Just want to
give a shout out to everyone whois watching. If you have comments or
questions about the topic today, whichis all about why boundaries matter, and
if you've set any recent boundaries,go ahead and put that in a comment.
I'm sure Tammy and I would loveto know what boundaries you are setting
(44:21):
to keep your salary as we speak. So we're going to be taking a
quicker martial break and when we comeback, Tammy's going to share a chick
with Chu and how to implement boundariesin a simple and easy way so it's
not frustrating for you. So we'llbe right back. Hi, everyone,
(44:52):
could he be to wig Fast thestorytelling astrologer, reader of the stars,
and I'd like to invite you tojoin me on Intuitional the Soul on Facebook,
a free private Facebook group where Ipost a daily energy reading all about
how you can navigate your day.Also reach out at Intuition of Thesoul eleven
at gmail dot com if you wantto personalized reading to find out about how
(45:15):
your circuitry works. Not mistake Hey, this is Joe Monkman and I am
(45:59):
a personal development trainer and that meansthat I help people step into their leadership
roles, take their place as avisionary, really understand their own mastery in
the world so that they can reallyfind their place at the buffet of life.
And if you want to know more, you can find me on my
Facebook page at Joe Monkman and JoeMonkman at gmail dot com. Hello,
(46:27):
and welcome back to Joy's Dealing withThen. If you are just tuning in,
I'm your host, joined in yourbabbit cologne, and you have so
far with a really great show.But know that you can go back and
watch and lowcu Amazon via TV,Twitch TV, and if you listen to
the show, you can listen onSpotify, Audible, or iHeart Radio.
So I'm going to bring my guestsback in Tammy molds. She and I
(46:50):
have been chatting about wi boundaries matter, and of course our little kiddy shows
up. It's not a live showunless Felix, unless Sylvester and c always
want to feel his name is Sylvester. So Tammy for you if you can
reply like why don't you click?And easy tips on how one can implement
(47:12):
some boundaries into their life regarding whetherit's our relatives showing up or hoarding issues
in itself? What boundaries? Whattips do you have to or for us
today? So I would say simpleis good. And I know we've been
talking about stuff and hoarding, butI also see this coming up with people
(47:37):
who might want more information than theyneed from you, and so it is
perfectly acceptable to say something like Ihave an appointment, I'll be back later
today versus I have to go rightall these errands and then I have to
talk to so and so, andthen I have to stop here, Like,
(47:59):
if that person doesn't need to knowthat information, you can really limit
what you say. And if you'rean oversharer or someone who's used to having
a long conversation with a person inyour life, you don't necessarily have to
continue that if that person is usingit against you or gossiping to other people
(48:23):
or whatever, like, you canlearn to just limit what you tell that
person, and that's okay. Theother thing is I think around what do
you tolerate? And you don't haveto have that conversation with someone else.
It's just you looking at what willmaintain your sanity, what will keep you
(48:49):
having that privacy. And earlier todayI was discussing this around boundaries are around
civilization, right, that keeps uscivilized. If we don't have some kind
of boundary or rule of law,then we have anarchy. And while that
might sound a little extreme, itcan feel like we are in anarchy if
(49:12):
we don't have some kind of limitation. You know, maybe maybe that neighbor
is someone that you'd like to visitwith once a week, but not every
day, and so maybe you canset a tea time, or you can
do something that invites them in butstill gives you some structure around what you
want. And I did have thatwhere I had to figure out how much
(49:38):
would I engage And it's okay todo that. And if you happen to
be dealing with a hoarding situation,a lot of people will say, well,
you get to have one room that'shoard free, And I like to
flip it and say that person canhave their one room that they do whatever
in, but the rest of thehouse should be enjoyable for everyone else that
(50:01):
lives there. So it's a matterof what's going on in your life,
but what will you tolerate, andbeing aware that the boundary is for you
and not to control other people.You can only control you. Therefore,
the boundaries you said are about whatyou want to see or what you want
(50:23):
to tolerate or allow exactly. Ilove those. I love those, and
I'm going to throw in one.And then after I throw in one,
I'm hoping to give Tammy a cardreading for some insight on what I was
going on in her life at thistime. So my tip for boundaries,
which I think is really important,and Tammy touched on this before, is
(50:45):
if you whether you're working for homeor you're not working from home, having
a boundary of learning to say nowhen you work, whatever your workouts are,
you work your work hours, andwhatever your day's law for you have
those days off as well, andnot feeling guilted into having to cover someone
else's shift just because you're afraid tosay no, or you're afraid if you
(51:09):
say no that you'll lose your jobor whatever. Having that boundary and standing
your ground. So this way hereyou can maintain a healthy relationship with yourself
along with your actual job. Soit's like bringing that balance between creating the
balance and creating the boundary and thebalance between how many hours a day and
(51:31):
how many hours a week am Iworking so I get my other things into
my schedule. So I think that'sreally important for setting a boundary. And
as I said earlier, we arein a time right now energetically planetarily speaking,
that boundaries are a really big thingand there's many of us that are
in that mindset right now wanting toset boundaries. But whatever the reason is
(51:52):
to why you want to set yourboundaries. But as Tammy says an assets
title is, boundaries do matter.They do matter. They are going to
help you shape things. And onceyou do set a boundary, you may
find that not everyone's going to bevery happy with the fact that you set
a boundary when you're not there tomake them happy. You're there to make
(52:14):
yourself happy and make things work betterfor you. So, Tammy, I
want to thank you so much forthe title today. I think this conversation
was definitely needed, worthwhile, andI'll show there's lots of people out there
that's going to be sitting and evaluatingwhether or not things need to set boundaries.
So thank you so much for that. Are you open to a reading,
(52:35):
Yes, I am, and thankyou so much for having me.
And I just want to add onthat our families and our other loved ones,
and our pets and our volunteer likeall those things are important too.
So that's why you have to lookat your job situation or no I can't
take that next shift or whatever itis because those things you know are important
(52:58):
too, and anyway, I justit makes me reflect on a job I
had previously where there was a differencebetween being salaried versus non salaried, and
the management team seem to forget that. Not everyone welcome to six am text
because they weren't, like, youtell me what I need to do.
(53:20):
I don't need to exactly be involvedwith that. And so even that's a
boundary that can be really hard becauseyou don't want to lose your job.
There's a lot of fear there,so exactly anyway, all right, so
let's take a breast. I seebutt in for you can make and as
you excel a breath, I wantyou just to focus in on something you
would like, some guidance song.You're not gonna tell me what it is,
(53:44):
and to pull a card and seewhat shows up. The card,
Ah, perfect card for the topic. By the way, I don't know
if this is going to be alignedwith her question, but a new relationship.
What that just means is that advicesetting boundaries, you are setting a
new relationship with yourself because you aregoing to feel better and feel differently about
(54:07):
yourself now. Moving aside the boundariesand the topic for the day, the
new relationship also for you, Tammy, is about your new partnerships that you're
gonna be bringing in. You're gonnabe receiving lots of new people coming in
that you. Eight is ten,which is about your soul's work, the
soul's work that you're here to do. So you're gonna start to what I
(54:28):
like for you to hole for yourselfas your vision is literally seeing a line
outside your door of people that arelooking to take on your services, looking
to be on your podcast, andlooking to share with you and share you
out. You get more exposure,and in order for this to happen,
very important to stay grounded because thiscould become overwhelming when things start to get
(54:50):
really really busy. So ground yourenergy in the process. Does this resonate
with you? It does? Itdoes a lot, actually, and I'm
already seeing some of that, thefruition. And sometimes you think what you're
doing doesn't matter. I know I'vethought it, but then things come around
(55:13):
to show you that it does,even if there's I guess a dormant time.
But that is an important piece too, right, Like you can work
on some of the things behind thescenes when you're a little more dormant,
but which to me is about groundingalso, like you have more time to
be grounded when you are stepping backa little bit for whatever reason. Yes,
(55:40):
excellent, I love it. Tammy. Go ahead and let everybody know
how they can reach you one lasttime because with Twusien and it's been an
amazing conversation. So you can findus at the Hoardingsolution dot com and you
can also find me on Facebook,Tammy Moses, and you can join us
in the Hoarding Solution community as well. All right, tell me once again,
(56:04):
thank you so much for sharing youramazing, brilliant with us and bringing
this amazing title to the table Whyboundaries matter. Thank you, thank you,
thank you. We are going totake a quick commercial break and when
I get back, I'm going tohave the conclusion of today's show. Once
again, Tammy, thank you somuch, Thank you so much. Joining
(56:35):
Hello and welcome. I'm Joanne AngelBarry Cologne, your holistic integrative teacher,
licensed personal trainer, reaking master,published author, and card creator. Let
me take you down a path ofdirect communication with the physical body in order
to become more aware and in syncwith your soul. I will help you
(56:59):
to observe and understand the language ofthe body as it regards to the needs
of the soul. Join me onthis journey, a great expansion and a
unique experience. I will help youintegrate your mind, body and soul as
(57:21):
you move forward on your journey.For questions, readings and self growth discovery
session email Healing Within seven six atgmail dot com. Hello and welcome back
to Healing Within. For those ofyou who are just tuning in, I'm
your host. Join in your BarryCologne and you missed an amazing show and
(57:45):
you can always go back and watchfrom the very beginning on World Crough,
Amazon, Fire TV, Twitch TV, YouTube and the course Facebook, and
you can listen on Spotify, iTunesand Audible and many other platforms as well.
Want to dive in because a lotof my partners have so many specialty
and promotions for you, So I'mgoing to dive write in. Starting off
(58:06):
for Jill Markman, who is offeringhis Spirit Message class again his six week
courts, so please look at theflyer. He also has his amazing Fire
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Then we have Kitty Kitty Foss,who is offering on the third Monday
of every month Words of Wisdom.That's a really fun class and it's a
(58:30):
great way to up your wordings soyou're not using lower vibration words, so
definitely join in on that. Atlast, but not les, I'm offering
my full Moon Circle taking place onthe twenty fifth of this month. For
more information, you'll free the emailHealing within seven to six at gmail dot
com. There is a fly youcan also hit that QR code in regards
(58:52):
to anything that you wish to connectwith me on. Feel free to do
so. If you're listening, youcan email Healing within seven six at gmail
dox come. With all that beingsaid, I look forward to seeing you
all back here in two weeks.Until then, enjoy the amazing day that
you're having. Many blessings, andI must say h m hm h
Mmmmmmmm well hell Hello, Hello,Hello, and happy happy Thursday. Everyone.
(00:44):
Super excited to be here with youtoday. For those of you who
are not sure where you are andwho you're listening to or watching, you're
currently watching, well listening to Joan'sHealing Within. I am your host,
Joy And and you're Barry Cologne,your holistic integrated teacher, Raking mass Raiki
teacher, card creator, card reader, license and certified holistic personal trainer,
(01:07):
founder of Holistic Fitness located right herein New York and medical astrologer. And
there's so much more to my bio. But what we were there for now,
how is everybody doing today? Howis everybody feeling and being? And
did we also vive Valentine's Day?I think that's a funny question, right,
Yes, let's make note about titlefor today, why boundaries Matter.
(01:34):
And it's a really good topic,I believe, and I'm sure it's going
to be. Want to remind youif you missed the last episode, which
is season seven, episode twenty four. Oh my god, they cannot believe
we're already there. If you missedthat last episode, know that you could
definitely go and watch it on Roku, Amazon byer TV, Twitch TV.
You can also listen to it onSpotify, Audible and iHeartRadio woo who Yes
(01:57):
you can. And it was anamazing show. I was actually the guest
and it was all about them thecosmic directory to health insurance. Yes,
and I want to remind you beforeI dive into my partners that help make
the show go, we get theweek that in order to guarantee that you
do have health, it's really importantto take your health in your own hands,
(02:21):
which is why being healthy and strengthtraining is your guaranteed health insurance.
So all that being said, andI want to apologize for my lighting is
a little dim. I didn't expectthe sun to be still shining through,
but it is what it is.Right anyway, let me give a shout
out to you, my amazing partnersthat you help make the show one week
after week. We're gonna start offwith Joel Monkman. He is our personal
(02:45):
developed trainer. Then we have KittyBoudaway Fuss. She's the storyteller of astrology
and reader of the stars. Thenwe also have Timmy Moses. She is
the podcast host and the founder ofthe Weddings And by the way, she
is our guests for today. I'msuper excited for that the day you have
(03:05):
it, that you have it allof my amazing partners. So again,
let's just take a breadthful moment.Let's just top it tap into the energy
of today, considering it is Thursday. And in case you're not a way
of this, every day of theweek is ruled by a specific planet,
and today being it's Thursday, Thursdaysare ruled by Jupiter's energy. So this
(03:29):
is a great day for an expansion. And currently Jupiter is in Taurus energy,
which is about the relationship that youhave with others, yourself, your
physical and material possessions, and ofcourse your physical body. Now, with
that being said, in Jupiter beingthe ruler of Thursday's energy, the moon
(03:52):
is currently in taurists as well,so there's a lot going on there.
I like to believe that anytime wehave multiple planets sitting in one sign,
that particular time signs becuse me,it gets lit up. And for those
of you who have sun moon orrising, which is also known as your
sunding sign in Taurus, there's alot going on there. For you have
(04:12):
an expansion happening, and then youmay be dropping into your feelings as well.
In addition to both Jupiter and theMoon being in Torus energy, I
want you to also be aware thatVenus is the ruling planet to Tous energy
in addition to Libra as well,and Venus is about love, relationships,
(04:38):
beauty, money, value, howyou value yourself your self worth as well.
And I think that really fols reallynicely into the topic for today of
why boundaries matter with all the energythat we do have sitting in Toraus energy
right now. So I like todo before we go further, I want
to pull a card for you tohelp you connect with your shopper, help
(05:00):
you do perhaps get a word thatyou could use for your day as a
matra. And let's see what numbersshow up for us today. So let's
go over all of that. AndI know it sounds like a lot,
right yeah, all right, onemore shuffle, let's play this through.
Ah interesting card to be showing up. So for you people out there who
are watching live gives required for theday, you can redeem a reiki treatment
(05:27):
at four twenty two dollars. Soif you're interested in redeeming a Reaki treatment
with twenty two dollars, you cango ahead and email healing within seven six
at gmail dot com. In fact, does apply a flyer with Mike QR
code that you could definitely go aheadand scan and those who are listening to
the show again that email is healingwithin seven six at gmail dot com.
(05:51):
The reiki treatment will be twenty twodollars. You have twenty four hours to
go ahead and redeem this. Sothose are you watching live even on the
replay, we have twenty four hoursto redeem this for twenty two dollars.
It's the heart choker. So thisis about dropping into the heart and allowing
your heart to be open to receivingwhatever it is you wish to receive.
(06:13):
With all this Torus energy, thedouble Zeros is reminding you that you do
have choices and a lot and alot of potential going forward. So that's
a great car to start the dayoff it, don't you think. All
Right, So all that being said, we're gonna dive into a commercial.
I'm gonna bring that flyer back upfor those of you who are interested in
reaching out to me. I knowwe saw the flyer a few minutes ago.
(06:33):
I'm sure it's gonna happ up againmy flyer with the QR code on
it, so those of you who'sto stand on it, you can.
And if it doesn't pop up rightaway and no good thing, We're gonna
take that quick commercial break and Iwill be back. And when I come
back, I'm gonna be introducing myguest for today. I'll be right back.
(06:56):
Maybe it's not time for a commercialbreak yet, maybe you Bobby's got
other things in mind. Anyway,I guess I'll just stay on until that
commercial break happens. Meanwhile, tappingback into twelve card for the day,
that hot energy. When we thinkabout it, it really is about matters
of the heart and how boundaries aregonna play a big part in the matters
(07:18):
of the heart. So again,if you are interested in redeeming your reiki
treatment for twenty two dollars, youhave twenty four hours from today to redeem
that reiki treatment for twenty two dollars, whether you watch to be Alive or
on the replay. So I'm notreally sure what's going on in the background
(07:39):
there. Anyways, I guess I'mgonna keep going until somewhere along the line
something shifts here. So, asI'm speaking about the energy of today being
the moons and tourists and Jupiter.Jupiter rules Thursday's energy. And that's not
just for today, that's every Thursday. Jupiter rules this energy. Jupiter is
(07:59):
about your expansion, not just yourspiritual expansion. It's also your spiritual wisdom.
And one last thing I want tobring to the table when we talk
about Jupiter's energy, we go outin the expansion. It's also about expanding
body weight. Now I spoke alot about this in the last episode,
So if you did not catch thatlast episode, we go ahead and watch
(08:20):
the last episode again. That wasepisode twenty four, season seven. You
can catch that on Rod Crew,Amazon, fireTV, Twitch TV. If
you want to listen to it whileyou're driving, you can listen on Spotify,
iHeartRadio or Audible as well. Allright, let's see what's cooking?
(08:43):
What is going on? Why amI not? Let's find out what is
actually going on? What is cooking? What is going on? Let's see?
I am ready for a commercial break? Is everything okay? Are we
(09:05):
tuning in? H I am confused? Anyway? Let me just see there
we go commercial. Everything's fine,honey, Do your think you want to
go to what's the matter. What'sthe matter on your end? Nothing the
matter? I was ready for acommercial break? Are we going to a
commercial break? When do you askme? You tell me you don't ask
(09:30):
for a commercial break. You tellme We've been doing this for years,
and you've never asked me to goto a commercial break. You I mentioned
the commercial break three minutes ago,a commercial break. I don't know what
happened to you. Let's do it. Let's do it. Then go for
(09:52):
it. You say it, andI'm going to do it all right?
All right, folks, we're gonnabe taking that Come how you break so
you can go get some water.We'll be coming right back. And when
I get back, well to sharethat card again, and then I'll be
sharing my guests for today. Helloand welcome. I'm Joanne Angel Barry Cologne,
(10:22):
your holistic integrative teacher, licensed personaltrainer, Reiki master, published author,
and card creator. Let me takeyou down a path of direct communication
with the physical body in order tobecome more aware and in sync with your
soul. I will help you toobserve and understand the language of the body
(10:50):
as it regards to the needs ofthe soul. Join me on this journey
of great expansion and a unique experience. I will help you integrate your mind,
body and soul as you move forwardon your journey. For questions,
(11:11):
readings, and self growth discovery sessionemail Healing Within seven six at gmail dot
com. Hello and welcome back toJoan's Healing Within. For those of you
who are just tuning in, I'myour host doing Anddeo Bary Cologne, and
today's topic is all about why boundariesmatter. And like I said, if
(11:33):
you're just tuning in, you missjust a small segment on the first part
of the show, I'm going toshare with you the card of the day,
which is what I always do.This card you mentioned the message here
is about a Waki treatment. Sothose of you who are watching live or
even on the replay, you havetwenty four hours from today to go ahead
and redeem a Waki treatment for twentytwo dollars. You can go ahead and
(11:56):
email Healing Within seven six gmail dotcom to redeem your session. The shock
of the day is the heart energy, which is opening your heart up so
you can receive whatever there is thatyou're looking to receive you at this time.
So there's your card. Super excitedto share that with you, and
(12:16):
I like to bring in my guestsTimmy, Moses Shelive and have an amazing
conversation. Hello, my darling,how are you today? I'm doing well.
How are you? I'm doing verywell. I'm loving the topic why
boundaries matter? So how'd you comeup with that topic? Just to dive
into that first, and then we'regonna really introduce who you are and what
(12:37):
you do well. I think aboutboundaries like fences. Good fences make good
neighbors, and I think good boundarieskeep us healthy so that we function well,
(12:58):
and that allows other people to functionwell also, And so I think
that it's an important conversation to havebecause a lot of people, and I
can speak from my own experience,didn't necessarily grow up having that modeled or
(13:20):
didn't really learn how to make boundariesor set them well. So now I
think that it's just important for peopleto understand that it's okay to have some
kind of limit on what you willtolerate. And I think that's great love
(13:41):
that. I love that idea abouthaving a sense to separate our neighbors and
ourselves, to have boundaries where theyknow that when that data is closed or
not before they decide to walk in. That's a great idea. I love
that Cherry tell us a little bitabout what it is you do your obviously
(14:03):
podcast, let the audience know alittle bit about you well. I focus
on the issue of excessive clutter andhoarding and more specifically how that impacts us
in our relationships and in our homes. Often people like, if you're in
(14:26):
a relationship with someone, and itcould be a roommate, it could be
a loved one, it could bea parent, or your own kid maybe,
and one of you might have alittle more clutterbug tendency than the other,
and that can cause friction in yourhome environment and being able to talk
(14:46):
about what is the issue there andresolve it will create more harmony in your
home. And so I have foundpeople are able to restore relationships when they
focus on creating a better environment thatthey are trying to expose people to.
(15:07):
And I talk about it on thepodcast The Hoarding Solution podcast as well.
In some of my experiences growing upwith parents that had hoarding issues and now
dealing with an elderly parent that hasthis issue, and it can be really
challenging to navigate these situations, anda lot of times that the conversation isn't
(15:31):
the primary thing that we are talkingabout. A lot of times the hoarding
issue is the elephant in the roomas well as how that impacts relationships.
And I feel part of my taskhere on this journey is to talk about
these things and help other people alsoknow they're not alone and that you can
(15:56):
choose something different and any moment youcan to you something different. Yes,
I love that. I love that, And in regardless to boundaries and also
hoarding for that matter, I geta sense that there's a connection there in
regards to someone that may have ahoarding know, we want to use the
(16:21):
world issue or challenge, whatever theword we want to use in regards to
maybe not being able to set aboundary, and that could be how they
set the boundary. Does that makesense? Yes? And I think that
there can be a lot of peoplepleasing involved with these things where you don't
want to say no to something becauseyou're afraid someone will be offended or so.
(16:51):
I've seen this come up a lotrecently around the issue of gifting and
receiving gifts that you maybe don't need, didn't ask for, or can't use,
yet you feel somewhat guilty about movingit along, whether that's sharing it
with someone else or if it's comingfrom an extreme hoarded situation, you may
(17:14):
have to toss the item because itmay not be salvagable, may have an
odor. But I see it alot with what do I do with these
things I don't need? Or whatare these? You know? And it
could be gifts you got ten yearsago and you don't want to get rid
of it because you have an attachmentto that item because of who gave it
(17:37):
to you. And the thing that'sreally coming up for me right now is
a cookie jar that was my grandma's. And as you're saying it, I'm
running in my head a list oflike all the things that are sitting like
that, considering what is it now? I think all just about maybe seven
months ago that I moved into mynew place and took some stuff with me
(18:00):
in the process of when we move, and most people do this, we
decluse things and then we sometimes don'tdeclose things because, just like Tammy saying,
there's memories that we hold with whateverthe things are, and it's like,
Okay, I don't want to holdon to this do I want to
give rid of it, don't wantto take a picture of it and save
it, And that whole thing goesthrough. So just as you're saying what
(18:22):
you're saying, it's like I'm runningin my head like, yeah, I
have a lot of that stuff.And the thing is is that it isn't
in itself. It's not bad tohave that attachment or that memory or that
desire to keep the item. Butwhen you get to a point when you
can't use your space anymore because ofall the things you've collected over time,
(18:45):
that can be an issue that youhave to deal with. And moving is
a great example of, hey,I don't think I want to do this.
I moved a couple of years agoand I started looking at things as
I don't want to look at thisthing again. I don't want to have
to make this decision later. Andthat helped me to kind of clarify what
(19:08):
am I taking with me. AndI still ended up with stuff at the
end that I donated and did whatever, you know, but it really came
down to I don't want to dealwith it anymore. And like I was
talking about the cookie jar thing,and so at the time a few years
ago, I gave it to myboyfriend, right, And now I realize
(19:30):
we moved and we're moving into anew house, and I'm like, that
cookie jar is actually still here,and it's not a bad thing necessarily,
It's just I'm realizing I do havesome attachment to it, and maybe it's
not so bad that I gave itto someone that and I'll be seeing it
(19:52):
again. But if you have onehundred cookie jars and that's all over your
counter and you can't cook, oryou can't wash dishes, or you can't
function, you know, you mighthave to reconsider how many of those do
you actually need? And as youmentioned, could I take a picture of
each of them and maybe write downa little story about how I got it
(20:15):
or who it came from, andthen move it along like and it's okay
to learn to release some of thosethings, but it can become a boundary
issue when you know, maybe someonehas been giving you all those cookie jars
and now you've decided to stop,You've decided to stop collecting them, but
(20:40):
yet the person in your life keepsbringing them to you, yes, collecting
them yet so how do you navigatethat? And sometimes people will continue even
though you expressly said, hey,I'm not collecting these anymore, I don't
have room, I'm downsizing, I'mmoving. But people don't necessary hear what
(21:00):
you're saying. And I think alot of times people think they set boundaries
so other people will obey. Butit's not you can't make other people do
it. It's what will you tolerateand how will you handle it? And
you know, that's what you haveto look at, and how how do
(21:21):
you want to operate, how doyou want to be, you know,
going forward? And I think alot of times that's a hard thing for
people to recognize that the boundary isabout what you'll tolerate, not to force
other people to do something exactly exactly. In fact, for me, when
(21:41):
I started doing oh my God,probably about let maybe five years ago,
during Christmas and even my birthday.And what's more specifically for Christmas is for
relatives that you want to buy mesomething, I give them a list of
things. I give them like threeitems of things that I would and I
give each person a different three setof three set of items. I don't
(22:04):
all give. I don't give thesame three items because then I'll get a
whole lot of that just for you. It possibly stops them from buying something
for me that they think I wouldlike that ends up being more like a
dust collective or something I really wanted, you know. So I, you
know, that was like my boundarysetting, and it seems to be working
(22:25):
because I only really now get thethings that I really want, and being
able to express that and not beafraid of their response to you is kind
of where I fall, where like, I'm responsible for what comes out of
my mouth and what I say andwhat I do, but I'm not responsible
(22:48):
for what other people do, andI can't stop them from buying something that's
not on my list. But Ican decide, hey, this isn't something
I really am going to use,and I can pass it along and not
feel guilty about that. But sometimesyou'll have someone in your life who will
come over and visit you and ask, hey, where is this thing I
(23:12):
gave you? So how do youHow do you navigate that without offending someone
you know? And so then itcomes back to how are you going to
manage that situation? How are yougoing to have that conversation? And again,
some people will hear you and otherpeople won't, And you just have
(23:33):
to decide which how are you goingto direct your energy about this situation?
And it can even that in itselfcan be tiring now to figure out,
well, how are you going todo this without you know, causing issues,
But sometimes you know, you haveto cause an issue to get to
(23:53):
where you're trying to go. Andit can be doesn't have to be a
bit blowout, but it can be, especially if you're dealing with a hoarding
situation. But you know, becausethere is this belief sometimes that everything the
person who hoards they want to giveto their kids and they want their kids
(24:17):
to be okay with that, andthe kid doesn't have to be okay with
that, and that could cause riftsbetween people. And I understand. Sometimes
the china or the hutch or thething whatever it is can be very there's
a legacy there, there's history there, and the parent doesn't want to just
(24:40):
put it on the side of theroad or donate it or whatever. But
still the kid, the adult kidhas the right to say, hey,
I don't really want this thing.Maybe give it to someone else, maybe
donate it somewhere, maybe take apicture, you know, and sell it.
Like there's other ways for you tomove it along without burdening the people
(25:03):
who are telling you, hey,I don't I really don't want this thing,
thank you, but no exactly exactly, and sometimes too, even with
boundaries and being let's say, fearfulof hurting somebody's feelings, sometimes a part
of the boundary process is being truthful, being straight up truthful to the person
to say, look, I don'twant the clutter anymore or not collecting that
(25:25):
anymore, and I just don't needthat anymore. And whether they hear it
or not again, as you've mentioned, is really not your job about it,
and that that you continue to party, you know, buy you the
same items all the time. Again, were we freely have the right to
say, okay, well I'm justgonna don't need this over to somebody else.
So yes, I'm loving I'm lovingI'm loving this topic of boundaries because
(25:49):
I think boundaries are a really bigand important process for everybody, especially nowadays,
in order to honor who we areand honor all the people that are
around as well. And it's reallyabout maintaining some kind of sanity, it's
about maning some kind of privacy.And I think with our spill over now,
(26:12):
to work and home and all sincein the last few years. I
think even that is an important pieceof it. To figure out, am
I going to stop working at acertain time? Am I going to just
go with the flow? Which room? Am I going to allow my employer
to see? You know, orother people that or your clients like and
(26:36):
and there you know, there's somelaughter about you know, the cat ran
his rear through my thing, orI didn't do my hair, or I'm
not ready to be on camera.But you know, that's all very valid
for you to look at. Andif you can create a space, even
if it's a corner that you're comfortablesharing with other people, then that's I
(26:57):
think that's perfectly acceptable. I don'tI don't feel like the entire world needs
to see every room in my houseif I don't choose to show that.
But and even just like how manypets am I going to have? Where
am I going to live? Howam I going to live? Like?
(27:18):
And especially if you're young and you'rejust figuring this out. Of course I'm
older and I'm still figuring it out. But if you're still if you're trying
to navigate some of these things,it's okay. To look at what's acceptable
to you, you know, andit's it can be challenging if you have
a roommate or if you're in adorm, or if you even if you
(27:41):
go in the military and you havea roommate, Like there's the military standards,
but there's also what your personal standard? What are you willing to tolerate?
And I think you really have tolook at also how are you contributing
to it? You know, areare you? Are you giving me messages
which can totally happen, you knowexactly. So what we're going to do
(28:06):
before we go further, because there'sso much to this topic of boundaries and
setting boundaries and when to set boundariesand how do we feel about boundaries and
who likes us when we have boundariesand who doesn't like us when we have
boundaries. So what we're going todo is Tammy just let everybody know how
they can reach you. There isa fly with this information on it as
well, so you can reach meat the Hoarding Solution dot com and I
(28:33):
have a podcast called the Hoarding Solutionand also I have a group on Facebook,
the Hoarding Solution Community where you canjoin us where we talk about all
this stuff. Excellent. So we'regoing to take a quick commercial break and
we're going to come back and we'llshare some more about boundaries and how this
topic today is in really a perfecttiming. I'm gonna share a little bit
(28:53):
about that too. We'll be rightback. Wow wow wow Wow. Hi
(29:45):
everyone, Kitty beat at wink Fastthe storytelling astrologer, Reader of the Stars,
and I'd like to invite you tojoin me on Intuition of the Soul
on Facebook, a free private Facebookgroup where I post a daily energy reading
all about how you can navigate yourday. Also reach out into a Show
of Thesoul eleven at gmail dot comif you want to personalized reading to find
(30:07):
out about how your circuitry works.No mistay, Hey, this is Joe
Monkman and I am a personal developmenttrainer and that means that I help people
step into their leadership roles, taketheir place as a visionary, really understand
their own mastery in the world sothat they can really find their place at
(30:30):
the buffet of life. And ifyou want to know more, you can
find me on my Facebook page atJoe Monkman and Joe Monkman at gmail dot
com. Hello, and welcome backto Joanne's Dealing Within. For those of
you are just tuning in, I'myour host Joanne and jo Barry Cologne.
If you did miss the first twosegments, know that you can always go
(30:52):
back and watch I will cu Amazonvia TV, Twitch tv, and for
those who listen and you can listenon Spotify, Audible or iHeart Radio.
I'm going to bring my guests backJimmy Moses as we chat about why boundaries
matter, and just before we wouldgo on the commercial break, I had
said that this topic was such perfecttiming. And what I mean by that
(31:18):
is, as I said earlier inthe introduction, based on all the energy
we had going on Venus the planetof love, relationships, beauty, money,
and how we value ourselves plays abig role in creating boundaries for ourselves
and regards to being respected, beingheard, being seen, and I'm going
(31:40):
to say this word again, beingheard. Sometimes we say things and people
really don't pay much mind because ofthey have boundaries or the lack of how
the self worth process of it all. So I go to this topic was
so perfectly aligned. When Tammy sentme the title, I was like,
oh perfect, because I'm sure,there's lots of people out there right now
(32:01):
that are really thinking about their relationshipswith themselves and with others. And how
when you were talking about people whoare working from home, where do they
have a boundary? And reference that? Theoretically, if they're working at a
job at an actual place, whenwork is finished at let's say five o'clock,
they literally go home. But ifthey're working from home and it hit
(32:24):
five o'clock, do they still continueto work? And that is really about
setting a boundary to say work isfinish. So for you, Tammy,
when we speak about the boundaries matter, why do you think boundaries are so
important? I mean especially for hoarding. You know, a hoorting solutions and
(32:45):
all the clothes that shows up.Why is it so important for that reason?
So, what I have discovered isthat often a loved one, the
adult child, a neighbor, afriend, someone from a church or your
place of worship, someone might besuper concerned about someone that has a hoarding
(33:10):
issue, and often they are theones that see the issue. Not everyone
that has a hoarding situation recognizes thatthere's a problem. Some people are more
aware, I would say, andnot but not everyone is. And so
(33:30):
often the loved one or the friendor family member is really saying, how
do I help this person? Butthat person doesn't want help. Particularly so
for many of the people I've workedwith, we have to back up a
little bit and ask how are youdoing? You know, how much can
(33:53):
you devote to this person? Howis it going to impact your family?
How's it going to impact you?Or mental health? And most many people
are taken aback by that approach becausethey're really focused on here's the problem over
here. But it's kind of thatthing where you can't pour from an empty
cup. And if your assistance isgoing to completely deplete your energy and cause
(34:21):
your relationships to suffer, then youhave to really look at what does help
actually look like. And it couldbe Hey, I have a concern Susie,
and here's what I'm seeing, andI would love to at least let
you know I care about you.And oh, by the way, here's
(34:42):
a couple a thing I came acrosson the internet, or I'm reading this
book that I got at the library. You might like it too, and
being supportive but not necessarily being theone that steps in to save the day,
and that that can be hard tohear. When you see someone who's
really struggling in in your mind,it would take you know, two days
(35:07):
to clear it out, and youhave to look at what can you actually
devote to that. At the sametime, someone might be asking you for
help, and you still have tolook at how can I actually help what's
going to be beneficial? And theother piece of that is you may have
(35:27):
arrangements. You plan to go helpthis person on a Saturday. You're supposed
to be there at ten. Youguys agreed to work for two hours,
and they call you or text youat nine point forty five and say,
I can't make it today. Idon't feel well, which could be legitimate,
but it's also a way to pushoff what needs to happen. And
(35:47):
so you you have to decide,Okay, if they do that twice,
am I going to offer a thirdtime? Or am I going to say,
hey, I've already offered twice andboth times this happened. So here's
this other resource I found. Letme know if you change your mind,
And it's so you can not sufferand struggle and worry because you've already done
(36:14):
that decent thing, right, You'vealready offered to come alongside them. And
I experienced it myself when I wasyounger with when both my parents were living
where we had it all planned witha church group and all these things,
and at the last minute it waslike, Oh, I can't, I
can't do that. It's not theright time, it might snow, it
(36:34):
might rain, I'm not ready,And all those things could be valid for
that person. But if you haven'tdealt with the issue, if you've been
able to have no limits placed onyou for a long time, it can
be very difficult to have someone comein and say, hey, we're gonna
(36:55):
do this today, and your approachabout that matters. But that's kind of
a different topic. But it isabout what will you tolerate or if you're
doing a cleanup, what will youprovide? Will you bring trash bags?
Are you paying for the masks?Who's paying for the dump fees? Like
if you get real nuts and boltsin that situation that those are boundaries to
(37:19):
me. You determine how much youcan devote, and it may the answer
may be nothing. You may haveno extra anything to devote to this situation
because a lot of times nothing reallyhappens until it's a crisis, and you
might already be in a crisis,or you might already have a lot of
things you're managing and you may notbe able to take that on. And
(37:44):
that can be a really we canfeel really guilty, right like we've known
there's a problem, we've wanted tohelp, we can't. But guilt is
kind of a It can be motivating, but I don't find it to be
the best motivator. Yes, exactly, and give in. God's what you
(38:06):
are saying regard even we're talking aboutthe boundaries and the clutter, the hoarding.
You going into someone's home that obviouslyyou see that they have a hoarding
issue. The boundary for yourself isto recognize that. Okay, I know
I need to maybe step back andfirst find out if they are ready to
(38:30):
even look at whatever it is thatthey have gone on to recognize and not
that in their mind they may noteven see it as a hoarding issue.
They may just see it as allthat stuff that they do have, that's
their boundary. That's how they createtheir own boundaries without actually saying no,
I don't want you over. Andthis is just general, not the person
who's there right now. No,I don't want you over. So they
(38:52):
figured that if they have a lotof stuff in their way, it prevents
company from coming in. And that'show the person who does have a boarding
issue sets up their own boundary.So if we come in there looking to
clean up their boarding stuff, we'reliterally we may be actually destroying their process
(39:13):
of their boundary. If we thinkabout it in that way, it's like
they may not be so quick toone our support because maybe unconsciously they're like,
well, this prevents people from comingin because I don't have any stakes
for people to be here. Andit's very true that it is a wall,
(39:35):
it is a boundary around themselves,and they have been hurt by people,
so if you don't let people in, those people can't hurt you.
And the other part of it isit is their stuff, right, it
is their collection. It is thingsthey have gotten over time, and so
(40:00):
it can be really difficult for themto allow anyone to come in there to
help them at all. And theother part of it is there's usually underlying
things going on and things that haven'tmost likely been addressed, whether it's trauma
or depression or anxiety or loss ofa loved one or a pet or like
(40:22):
there's all these things that are boilingunderneath, and a lot of times people
don't see the correlation between the anxietythey're experiencing in the amount of stuff that
they have that they're trying to useto soothe. It's almost like a self
soothing thing, I think sometimes andmy experience is if you're in a position
(40:50):
where you're ready for changes, thingswill go faster. If you are not
and you haven't prepared yourself in anyway, things will go a lot much
slower. And exactly think about it, think about it this way. How
many times, and I fall intothis category as well, how many times
(41:12):
in your lifetime that you're expecting companyover a friend or family member, whatever,
not in the night before or theday of. And this is this
actually really falls through for like holidayseason, where people are like going through
this thorough cleaning, like they're puttingthings or organizing every day to make the
house look total quo perfect, toget everything out of the way, so
(41:34):
people don't see what they actually havein their house. So it's like we're
even setting up that boundary and referenceto like, Okay, I have to
do this deep cleaning because I'm havingcompany over because I want them to want
to I want them to see mein a certain light that may not necessarily
be what the certain light is,and even that can be I mean,
(41:58):
there's stories of kids right that grewup and every time someone was coming over,
they had to shove you know,it was like a big deal,
and they had to shove everything intheir room or their closet so that it
would present well to guests. Butthen you know, within forty eight hours
after that event, it's a rightback the closet again, And that can
be you know that that is somethinglike you learn how to do that.
(42:24):
I mean, I learned, likeyou could just shove everything in the laundry
basket, right and put it inthe guest room to shut the door.
Well, that's fine until you havefifteen laundry baskets piled up with stuff you
haven't dealt with, and then youknow, that becomes overwhelming, even if
you don't have a hoarding issue andall you're doing is just moving the stuff
out of the way. And soand you know, I have, like
(42:52):
I feel like I'm hyper vigilant alot of times about what other people will
think or say about me based onmy upbringing, right, Like if they
knew my history and they saw onedust bunny, they might think, oh,
this person can't keep a house,right, And so I'm super focused
on the dust bunny. In reality, nobody else is really paying any attention
(43:15):
to that because they're enjoying the meal, or they're talking to other people,
or or they don't. People aren'tas focused on that necessarily as we think
they are. It's our own storythat we're telling ourselves that this person's gonna,
you know, say I'm abusing myanimals because I have a dust bunny,
you know, which is completely unreal. But they go there, you
(43:38):
know exactly, all right, Tammy. Let everybody know how they can reach
you should they want you to findout more about those things you do as
the found of the Hoarding Solution,So you can reach out to me at
the Hoardingsolution dot com and I havea blog there, podcast episode Let's go
(44:00):
there, and I'm happy to connectwith folks. Excellent. Just want to
give a shout out to everyone whois watching. If you have comments or
questions about the topic today, whichis all about why boundaries matter, and
if you've set any recent boundaries,go ahead and put that in a comment.
I'm sure Tammy and I would loveto know what boundaries you are setting
(44:21):
to keep your salary as we speak. So we're going to be taking a
quicker martial break and when we comeback, Tammy's going to share a chick
with Chu and how to implement boundariesin a simple and easy way so it's
not frustrating for you. So we'llbe right back. Hi, everyone,
(44:52):
could he be to wig Fast thestorytelling astrologer, reader of the stars,
and I'd like to invite you tojoin me on Intuitional the Soul on Facebook,
a free private Facebook group where Ipost a daily energy reading all about
how you can navigate your day.Also reach out at Intuition of Thesoul eleven
at gmail dot com if you wantto personalized reading to find out about how
(45:15):
your circuitry works. Not mistake Hey, this is Joe Monkman and I am
(45:59):
a personal development trainer and that meansthat I help people step into their leadership
roles, take their place as avisionary, really understand their own mastery in
the world so that they can reallyfind their place at the buffet of life.
And if you want to know more, you can find me on my
Facebook page at Joe Monkman and JoeMonkman at gmail dot com. Hello,
(46:27):
and welcome back to Joy's Dealing withThen. If you are just tuning in,
I'm your host, joined in yourbabbit cologne, and you have so
far with a really great show.But know that you can go back and
watch and lowcu Amazon via TV,Twitch TV, and if you listen to
the show, you can listen onSpotify, Audible, or iHeart Radio.
So I'm going to bring my guestsback in Tammy molds. She and I
(46:50):
have been chatting about wi boundaries matter, and of course our little kiddy shows
up. It's not a live showunless Felix, unless Sylvester and c always
want to feel his name is Sylvester. So Tammy for you if you can
reply like why don't you click?And easy tips on how one can implement
(47:12):
some boundaries into their life regarding whetherit's our relatives showing up or hoarding issues
in itself? What boundaries? Whattips do you have to or for us
today? So I would say simpleis good. And I know we've been
talking about stuff and hoarding, butI also see this coming up with people
(47:37):
who might want more information than theyneed from you, and so it is
perfectly acceptable to say something like Ihave an appointment, I'll be back later
today versus I have to go rightall these errands and then I have to
talk to so and so, andthen I have to stop here, Like,
(47:59):
if that person doesn't need to knowthat information, you can really limit
what you say. And if you'rean oversharer or someone who's used to having
a long conversation with a person inyour life, you don't necessarily have to
continue that if that person is usingit against you or gossiping to other people
(48:23):
or whatever, like, you canlearn to just limit what you tell that
person, and that's okay. Theother thing is I think around what do
you tolerate? And you don't haveto have that conversation with someone else.
It's just you looking at what willmaintain your sanity, what will keep you
(48:49):
having that privacy. And earlier todayI was discussing this around boundaries are around
civilization, right, that keeps uscivilized. If we don't have some kind
of boundary or rule of law,then we have anarchy. And while that
might sound a little extreme, itcan feel like we are in anarchy if
(49:12):
we don't have some kind of limitation. You know, maybe maybe that neighbor
is someone that you'd like to visitwith once a week, but not every
day, and so maybe you canset a tea time, or you can
do something that invites them in butstill gives you some structure around what you
want. And I did have thatwhere I had to figure out how much
(49:38):
would I engage And it's okay todo that. And if you happen to
be dealing with a hoarding situation,a lot of people will say, well,
you get to have one room that'shoard free, And I like to
flip it and say that person canhave their one room that they do whatever
in, but the rest of thehouse should be enjoyable for everyone else that
(50:01):
lives there. So it's a matterof what's going on in your life,
but what will you tolerate, andbeing aware that the boundary is for you
and not to control other people.You can only control you. Therefore,
the boundaries you said are about whatyou want to see or what you want
(50:23):
to tolerate or allow exactly. Ilove those. I love those, and
I'm going to throw in one.And then after I throw in one,
I'm hoping to give Tammy a cardreading for some insight on what I was
going on in her life at thistime. So my tip for boundaries,
which I think is really important,and Tammy touched on this before, is
(50:45):
if you whether you're working for homeor you're not working from home, having
a boundary of learning to say nowhen you work, whatever your workouts are,
you work your work hours, andwhatever your day's law for you have
those days off as well, andnot feeling guilted into having to cover someone
else's shift just because you're afraid tosay no, or you're afraid if you
(51:09):
say no that you'll lose your jobor whatever. Having that boundary and standing
your ground. So this way hereyou can maintain a healthy relationship with yourself
along with your actual job. Soit's like bringing that balance between creating the
balance and creating the boundary and thebalance between how many hours a day and
(51:31):
how many hours a week am Iworking so I get my other things into
my schedule. So I think that'sreally important for setting a boundary. And
as I said earlier, we arein a time right now energetically planetarily speaking,
that boundaries are a really big thingand there's many of us that are
in that mindset right now wanting toset boundaries. But whatever the reason is
(51:52):
to why you want to set yourboundaries. But as Tammy says an assets
title is, boundaries do matter.They do matter. They are going to
help you shape things. And onceyou do set a boundary, you may
find that not everyone's going to bevery happy with the fact that you set
a boundary when you're not there tomake them happy. You're there to make
(52:14):
yourself happy and make things work betterfor you. So, Tammy, I
want to thank you so much forthe title today. I think this conversation
was definitely needed, worthwhile, andI'll show there's lots of people out there
that's going to be sitting and evaluatingwhether or not things need to set boundaries.
So thank you so much for that. Are you open to a reading,
(52:35):
Yes, I am, and thankyou so much for having me.
And I just want to add onthat our families and our other loved ones,
and our pets and our volunteer likeall those things are important too.
So that's why you have to lookat your job situation or no I can't
take that next shift or whatever itis because those things you know are important
(52:58):
too, and anyway, I justit makes me reflect on a job I
had previously where there was a differencebetween being salaried versus non salaried, and
the management team seem to forget that. Not everyone welcome to six am text
because they weren't, like, youtell me what I need to do.
(53:20):
I don't need to exactly be involvedwith that. And so even that's a
boundary that can be really hard becauseyou don't want to lose your job.
There's a lot of fear there,so exactly anyway, all right, so
let's take a breast. I seebutt in for you can make and as
you excel a breath, I wantyou just to focus in on something you
would like, some guidance song.You're not gonna tell me what it is,
(53:44):
and to pull a card and seewhat shows up. The card,
Ah, perfect card for the topic. By the way, I don't know
if this is going to be alignedwith her question, but a new relationship.
What that just means is that advicesetting boundaries, you are setting a
new relationship with yourself because you aregoing to feel better and feel differently about
(54:07):
yourself now. Moving aside the boundariesand the topic for the day, the
new relationship also for you, Tammy, is about your new partnerships that you're
gonna be bringing in. You're gonnabe receiving lots of new people coming in
that you. Eight is ten,which is about your soul's work, the
soul's work that you're here to do. So you're gonna start to what I
(54:28):
like for you to hole for yourselfas your vision is literally seeing a line
outside your door of people that arelooking to take on your services, looking
to be on your podcast, andlooking to share with you and share you
out. You get more exposure,and in order for this to happen,
very important to stay grounded because thiscould become overwhelming when things start to get
(54:50):
really really busy. So ground yourenergy in the process. Does this resonate
with you? It does? Itdoes a lot, actually, and I'm
already seeing some of that, thefruition. And sometimes you think what you're
doing doesn't matter. I know I'vethought it, but then things come around
(55:13):
to show you that it does,even if there's I guess a dormant time.
But that is an important piece too, right, Like you can work
on some of the things behind thescenes when you're a little more dormant,
but which to me is about groundingalso, like you have more time to
be grounded when you are stepping backa little bit for whatever reason. Yes,
(55:40):
excellent, I love it. Tammy. Go ahead and let everybody know
how they can reach you one lasttime because with Twusien and it's been an
amazing conversation. So you can findus at the Hoardingsolution dot com and you
can also find me on Facebook,Tammy Moses, and you can join us
in the Hoarding Solution community as well. All right, tell me once again,
(56:04):
thank you so much for sharing youramazing, brilliant with us and bringing
this amazing title to the table Whyboundaries matter. Thank you, thank you,
thank you. We are going totake a quick commercial break and when
I get back, I'm going tohave the conclusion of today's show. Once
again, Tammy, thank you somuch, Thank you so much. Joining
(56:35):
Hello and welcome. I'm Joanne AngelBarry Cologne, your holistic integrative teacher,
licensed personal trainer, reaking master,published author, and card creator. Let
me take you down a path ofdirect communication with the physical body in order
to become more aware and in syncwith your soul. I will help you
(56:59):
to observe and understand the language ofthe body as it regards to the needs
of the soul. Join me onthis journey, a great expansion and a
unique experience. I will help youintegrate your mind, body and soul as
(57:21):
you move forward on your journey.For questions, readings and self growth discovery
session email Healing Within seven six atgmail dot com. Hello and welcome back
to Healing Within. For those ofyou who are just tuning in, I'm
your host. Join in your BarryCologne and you missed an amazing show and
(57:45):
you can always go back and watchfrom the very beginning on World Crough,
Amazon, Fire TV, Twitch TV, YouTube and the course Facebook, and
you can listen on Spotify, iTunesand Audible and many other platforms as well.
Want to dive in because a lotof my partners have so many specialty
and promotions for you, So I'mgoing to dive write in. Starting off
(58:06):
for Jill Markman, who is offeringhis Spirit Message class again his six week
courts, so please look at theflyer. He also has his amazing Fire
Ceremony class coming in this weekend onSaturday, so again check out the flyer.
Then we have Kitty Kitty Foss,who is offering on the third Monday
of every month Words of Wisdom.That's a really fun class and it's a
(58:30):
great way to up your wordings soyou're not using lower vibration words, so
definitely join in on that. Atlast, but not les, I'm offering
my full Moon Circle taking place onthe twenty fifth of this month. For
more information, you'll free the emailHealing within seven to six at gmail dot
com. There is a fly youcan also hit that QR code in regards
(58:52):
to anything that you wish to connectwith me on. Feel free to do
so. If you're listening, youcan email Healing within seven six at gmail
dox come. With all that beingsaid, I look forward to seeing you
all back here in two weeks.Until then, enjoy the amazing day that
you're having. Many blessings, andI must say h m hm h
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