May 4, 2022 • 54 mins
The topic will be about turning 30 and the new challenges that come with it. #JointheJourney.
More about Garcelle:
Curiously creative, Garcelle is a New Yorker that built a marketing career working for various brands and making them come to life by producing large events, which came naturally for a social butterfly like herself. These days like most people, the pandemic initiated the line of questioning that leads to wanting to make a change in your life.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/joi-just-organize-it-with-qui-talks--2910746/support.
More about Garcelle:
Curiously creative, Garcelle is a New Yorker that built a marketing career working for various brands and making them come to life by producing large events, which came naturally for a social butterfly like herself. These days like most people, the pandemic initiated the line of questioning that leads to wanting to make a change in your life.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/joi-just-organize-it-with-qui-talks--2910746/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey talkers, welcome to the que Talk Show. And of
course I have to start talking before the show starts. Yeah,
season seven, you guys, we made it first episode of
season seven. Finally. I'm so happy you guys are joining
us because we are now live and I lost my voice,
as you guys always know, always always losing it. But
(00:42):
I have a special guest. Now. If you guys remember Debait,
my cast and crew from Debate, and you remember the
crazy times and crazy conversations on the couch, we are
here with Garcelmno.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Hello, Hello, Hello, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Now I know you guys miss her, but we're about
to just talk about turning thirty and the challenges slash
nonsense that comes with it. So let's rewind. Last night
I had to go out on the business state. Right.
I took one of my audio and visual guy to
(01:23):
STK last night. Right, great night. Having been to STK
in a while, you know, havn't been in the city,
been in California. I'm in New York now, Yay. Come
to find out, ended up knowing the manager at SDK
because him and I used to work at Gap on
Harold Square, So which is great. He gave me one
(01:43):
hundred dollars off the check. Thank you, by the way,
love you. Then my audio and visual guy will say, oh,
let's go out. It's after party for the mc gala
Tina Tiana tail and all of them are going to
be there, right, okay, great? And now today thirty and
drinking and then having to wake up and come to work.
(02:08):
My sister woke me up this morning and she was like,
you got to get up and go in the shower.
I was like, I took a shower when you talk
about it, and then she told me I turned back
over and went to sleep. She was like, no, girl,
you got to show the deal. Get up. You got
forty minutes to get dressed. So that was my morning.
So thirty and drinking, let's start with there now not anymore?
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Right. It hits different going out at you know, twenty four,
twenty five, You party, get home three four in the morning,
have a slice of pizza, wake up at seven and
all is well, you're ready to go back at work. Yeah. No,
at thirty it's like you wake up and feel like
(02:55):
you just got into the worst type of fight with
a cow.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
I got up and had to lay back down. I
was like, no, I'm not ready yet. You're gonna have
to get.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
You have to peel yourself out of the bed. That's why,
like these days, it's like I have to like clear
the calendar. Someone invites me to any event for and
I know that there's going to be you know, some
consumption involved, some alcohol consumption involved. I'm like, Okay, what
are the next three days gonna look like? Because if
I have a lot to do, I'm gonna have to
(03:30):
politely decline.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yeah yeah, no, no, no, you're right, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
I can't do spontaneous things anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So now I found out about something after being in
Florida for a little bit. BC powdered. They don't sell
that here in New York.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yeah, bro, that works.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I'm not gonna lie unless I'm not doing it correctly
if it isn't working for me.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
No, it's like you know, my my family in Florida, Uh,
my cousins and stuff. They talk about BC power are
all the top. Yeah, they all the time, like just
you know, in the morning, wake up, put it in
the water, and you just go for drinking before you start. Wait,
I'm like, okay, isn't it just like crushed aspirin.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, that's it works. Maybe it's the psychology behind it,
but I believe that. I wake up like I'm back
in my twenties, like, all right, I'm ready, what's next
another night of drinking? Well? Did you have some DC
pottery this morning?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
No? Well, course, so you're going to crush some aspirin.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
It's not here in New York.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
It's the psychology behind it because I know it's sea
powder and it's been working and everybody vouch for it
in the South. So I'm like, yeah, it's all right.
So now talking about vouching and BC powder and drinking
at thirty, let's get into the hardships at thirty.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
We have to because we got to talk about it
because I'm ready to talk. If you guys have watched
my last video about the child's and tribulations I facing
cal when you're back in twenty seventeen, it's not pretty,
but it's hear. So they did not tell us that
when you tearn thirty, you still wouldn't have your shit together,
you know.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Yeah, they shout out to DJ Khalen for making they
this mysterious entity, right because it's like I'm mad at them,
but who are they?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
So let's disact that. Let's start from the beginning. We're
in school. They're teaching us, what is it, the bagum
theory thagoryum theorem? Yeah, exactly unnecessary, but nobody taught us about.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
There we go. They got it.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
But now when do we use that with thirty?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
You know, I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I mean, when I'm doing my budgets at the end
of the month, I think about how that will come
to use and it just was A square?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Was B square?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Equal C squared? Does not sound like figure out my
expenses and budgets and where I can be saving money.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
It does help me on my taxes.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
No, zero, you don't get your money back, I promise.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I'm like, where is the A squared B squared equal
C squared?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Can you square my money?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Please?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Before? And now talk about money now with that's being
in our thirties, finances we were let's just say the
millennials were handed the rotten apple or the or the
shortest stick because of the financial crisis in two thousand
and eight. That made it harder for us to get
(06:45):
jobs or go to college and get to college and
be successful because before us it was easier.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Well before it's a lot of things were happening, and
you know, there was a lot of stick ability in.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
The housing market before two thousand and eight.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
And also there were some really like messed up things
going on with establishing the middle class and race relations.
These things had an effect, but that middle class was
kind of trying to cement itself in these times. And
(07:25):
then you know, in two thousand and eight came all
this credit was given out, no one can pay it back,
and everybody lost their house, well a lot of people.
I mean I say everyone, a lot of people lost
their house. And that's when houses became like it what
twenty ten, they were like a dollar.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah, remember in the pandemic.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
I don't know if you saw this meme shortly after
lockdown in like April, like the end of March.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Everybody's like, does this mean I was going to be
a dollar again?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
That's extreme, right, But you know, houses became affordable, and
you know, interest rates very reasonable. But I don't think
I disagree with we were given the shorthand of the stick.
I just think we were given the wrong tools.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Okay, I think that.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
You know, we inherited really bad economics when it comes
to you know, education, the cost of education, when it
comes to you know, by the time we are adults,
young adults, you know, there's a gap or not a gap,
(08:37):
but the middle class is shrinking. Trying to advance is harder,
it's more expensive where we are saddled with debt to
try to get ahead, but this debt keeps us back.
So it's this kind of oxymoron existence with being a
millennial and trying to at thirty figuring out what that
(09:02):
would look like. Because thirty years ago, thirty looked like
married kids, stability. You've probably been at your job for
five to eight years by now by thirty, you know,
you graduated college like things were in order, and that
was what was constructed as this American dream, and we
(09:29):
grew up thinking that it was achievable in this whimsical way, okay,
And I think that that's where, you know, now we
really the realities of you know, the realities of trying
(09:51):
to navigate how the best, how to best climb this
ladder or achieved the American dream, or create your own dream,
you know, be somewhat go against the grain, or find
a way to make your life look like what you
want it to look like without the pressure of society,
(10:14):
and you know, saying that, hey, that American dream isn't
for me. What if it's a global dream. What if
it's you know, a creative dream. What if it's a
physical like, what if it's a fitness dream. We don't know.
And the template that we've been given is it's fragile.
(10:38):
So you made a lot of good.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Points, especially with everything being fragile, you made a lot
of good points. One finance, finance being more of the
route to our issues at the age of thirty college
loan to well. Shout out to Navia for for giving
fifty three thousand dollars on my school loans.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Shut the front door.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I am hell serious. Check my Instagram. Yep, that loan
is forgiven fifty three thousand.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
The gems give me clearly.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I heard that they sued Navia A savvy man, right,
and then now they had to fifty three thousand. They
sent me an email. They apparently they forgave it June
to twenty twenty one, but they sent me an email
last week because I was logging into the system and
they probably saw I was like, oh shoot, we never
told this girl so yeah, fifty three thousand dollars in
(11:29):
school loans. I am halfway there. D What school did
you go to? What did you study? I went to
no public schools, which was the worst. I can you
see education? Right? No one told me about.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
That, right, And that's what I'm talking about. The tools
were given the wrong tools because at eighteen, right, eighteen
in uh, between two thousand, two thousand and seven and
two thoy twelve, eighteen looked really different from nineteen eighty,
(12:04):
you know, nineteen eighty nineteen eighty five, where you can
pay tuition on your part time job salary at you know,
a public school.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
You know, somebody should have told you at a public school.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
But you know, there were so many more resources available,
or maybe the resources are still available, let me not
say that, but the resources, there were so many different
means to supplement what we needed financially for higher education.
(12:44):
And it's just a stark difference, like tuition costs rising
for no reason. It's arbitrary. They like run by their
own rule, you know, the higher education system just runs
by their own rules. So you know, tuition costs rising
(13:06):
at alarming rates. It makes it, you know, kind of
daunting and then it's like at eighteen, Yeah, here's all
the money to go to school, and you know that's
real possible, right, just take this four hour course on
how to repay back your debt. That was such a yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah, I barely did my homework at eighteen. Everybody was
waiting for those refund checks to come through, and I
had things prepared for me to go shopping to buy
the room, not thinking about repaying my school loans. I
didn't even know what that.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Was even the flaw and the go to school, get
a job, repay the loan, right, I sat, I take
on fifty thousand dollars in school loans.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
This is an example.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Take out fifty thousand dollars in school loans, and I
think I'm going to get one hundred thousand dollars job
and be able to pay that back and what five
six years max. Then when you get the education and
you are struggling to barely make twenty five thirty an hour,
you know, based on your education and skill, that should
(14:15):
be the default right to make a decent salary. And
that's just getting at the hourly rate. If you want
to talk yearly, I mean, what's reasonable is you think
at least you think when you get out of college, Oh,
I'm gonna hit a six figure job easy and pay
back this debt in no time. That's the dream, right,
But when you go out and compete, and one, you're
(14:38):
still missing some skills because again I don't know how
far and I don't want to minimize any area of study.
But let's just say, you know, you took an art
introduction class in your science and your science degree program,
you had to take an art class right in our
(15:00):
introduction class. And when you get out, how is our
introduction helping you in your interviews?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
You know?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Is your school positioning you to compete? And that is
where again some of the tools we've had some kind
of broken tools.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Now it goes back. It's like who do we blame
for that? Do we blame?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Who?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Pardon me? Wow? I didn't choking that voice?
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Get it like you got a girl? You need water?
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Oh my sorry, no worries?
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Are you going in the verm room? I have a
water bottle on the side of my back and you
get it from me?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Please?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Oh for real?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Why do you say something? Oh? Never mind, thank you, okay,
thank you?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
All right, I'm back. Wow, I was choking. I even
started tearing, tell you guys and losing my voice.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
But that's the whole on wyoh, time out.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yeah, we're still on. Oh, we're live.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
We're live, we are lying.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Everything is happening. You guys are again to see the
behind the scenes, everything that happens for real. We're live,
we are I almost choked on National TV.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
And I'm like, while she's choking, can you grab me
some water too?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm happy, thank you. All right,
So back to the show. Now. It goes back to
my question, who do we blame? I just gotta drink
you guys.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Yes, moisturizer, get moisturized, get to throw moisturize.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I don't necessarily.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Think it's about blaming. It's about really identifying what went
wrong and how do we prevent it in the future.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
So is it mom's job to teach us? Is it
dad's job or is it the teachers? Because this goes
back with the nurture versus nature conversation.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Right, and it takes it takes a tribe, right, if
we go by it takes a tribe to raise a child, right,
There's all these different layers to the tribe. And I
think that when it comes down to it, you know
how to figure out where the problem happened. It's it's layered.
(17:35):
It's complex because you know, partial school responsibility, partial parental responsibility,
partial like this system and the people the network around
children or us when we were around. But then there's
(17:56):
a different type of a different type of conversation when
it comes to that, because we also are parents of immigrants, right,
and we are black women, and you know, our experience
is gonna look very different from our our counterparts with
(18:20):
means and resources, because thirty from.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Me or Mark, Florida, from.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
A working class it's gonna look very different from thirty
that is that grew up just twenty miles west of me.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Of course, so.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
And that's gonna look like, you know, my white counterparts.
I was trying to not say it, but here we are.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
It's not white people.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
I think that you know, it's all about it's all
about where and how you grew up. Like your zip
code says a lot about you. Notice I did it
when I talked about where I grew up. I didn't
go all the way to you know, the Ridge zip
codes in Connecticut. No, just twenty miles west of me,
and it's a whole different, different life. And those kids
(19:19):
grew up with more knowledge or in an environment that
fosters financial responsibility or at least some knowledge or it's yeah,
some knowledge and an environment where you know, you can
talk about money and how.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
To manage it a little better.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
You know, parents who want that for their kids or
can provide that for their kids. Because again, in my
household growing up, my mom worked two jobs and went
to school. I don't believe. I want to believe that
she wanted to teach me about money sooner, but she
(20:00):
just didn't.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Have the time, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
And then it's like, okay, then if it wasn't mom,
what about school? What about you know, uh, your high schools,
in middle schools? I mean in middle school, we had
one class that taught me how to write a check,
and I was so proud.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
But they told you how to write a check? Yeah,
you guys just pay bills all they taught you how
to pay a bill? What kind of educational system? Okay,
to write a check? We got to talk to that school.
(20:38):
But continue, I think, right, so it's like the public school, okay,
but what about aunts, uncles? And cousins and extracurricular activities,
and it's like.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Yeah, you know, they're trying to teach you how to
be a well rounded person, and you know, and they
just missed this one part to make the circle whole.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And I think.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
That's where, you know, we have to identify, like, okay,
particular classes.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Socioeconomic classes of people.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Like that's kind of where it goes when it talks
about when we talk about blame more responsibility.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I would like to piggyback off of your location. It's
very true. That's why Oprah has this whole entire series
coming out about your location. I love Oprah, I do.
I Oprah is my shorty doo, y'all know me. But
she has this new series coming out about your health
(22:01):
affect your zip code affects your health, and which is
I know many of us know this that if you
live in the hood, you're gonna get hood doctors and
then going to the clinic to go see somebody as
like a year a day or they give you please
excuse give you mediocre. We're all live, so everything is
happening as you guys normally see it. But what I
(22:25):
don't understand is that we live in a society where
we're not dumb to what's going on. We know that
we live in a systemic racist country. When do we
When do we as a community come together and really
(22:47):
start making a change, Because yes, I understand, it takes
one and there are a bunch of us who are
out there that are trying to make the change. But
then you have the ones who have yet to even
bulge or even go vote or even go do anything.
And yes, I understand the whole voting and the whole
thing blah blah blah, so and so forth. Yes I understand,
But if our parents didn't do it for us and
(23:11):
we're living this way now, are we just repeating the
cycle for our future kids?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
You know, I'm gonna take an extreme example to answer
that question.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Okay, And.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
This is why I love my generation so much.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Like we are just not here for the nonsense anymore,
not here for the bs.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Like, oh, we're like we're not gonna take it, We're
not gonna take it anymore.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
No.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
No, I say that because I recently I saw the
headline of Serena in negotiations to own part of Chelsea. Yes,
and then I found out that Lebron owns a part
(24:01):
of Liverpool, and I'm like, man, I love us because
we are behaving, we are financially behaving or behaving financially
in a way that sets us up to break these cycles, right,
because we are using the knowledge that you know, we
(24:23):
have access to so much access to the information.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
It's a lot.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
So and that's an extreme example because we're all not
you know, mega millionaire billionaire athletes. But that's a sign that,
you know, the mentality is shifting. Because again, twenty years ago,
when you had the black mega billionaire or multi millionaire athletes,
what were they doing buying many many homes and cars
(24:54):
and you know, and that's that's a general statement, but
I want most of them, it was hard to get
them to think for the future, think for their kids. Yes, sure,
where now it's you know, we're getting into the mentality
in mass I've noticed that, I mean through social media,
but in mass that okay, we have to be a
(25:17):
little smarter financially. We need to behave in a way
where we're not looking for the next check to pay
the bill. How do we get out of that, you know,
how do we become smarter? And I think now more
than ever you know, black middle class millennials and.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
You know gen x X, what have you.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Just black middle class we're getting a little industrious. I
love it, you know, opening small businesses and keeping money
coming in and you know, positioning in ourselves, positioning ourselves
so that you know, our kids kids can have a
better understanding of how to build a life, build a
(26:06):
healthy life mentally, financially, physically. So I've noticed that. That's
an observation. But yeah, there's any other change. Yes, we
can be a part of it. And I'm not saying
that every every black working middle class person is in
positions to completely change their circumstances. It varies, but in
(26:34):
the event or in the situation where they can, they
have the ability to change. I see it happening, and I,
oh help.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I just lost my train of thought, this whole fog
brain fart.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
But yeah, when we talk about you know, there has
to be a change there we go. The change has
to come from everywhere, every layer of society.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
US.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
I mean, hello, and employ the black people, you know,
you know, get the schools, get curriculums to be a
little more forthcoming with you know, competing in the in
the free market. You know, make pay more equitable, make
the professional spaces more equitable for people of color, for
(27:29):
all identities. It starts there. When it comes to economics
and making sure the future is better off, I would.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Like to piggyback off to making sure the future is
better off. I realize that a lot of us, in
terms of change, are changing our career paths. Many of
us who started out with this mindset that I'm going
to go to school and one hundred thousand dollars worth
of loans and I'm going to do that so proudly goodness,
(28:00):
I'm happy here. I'm gonna go to school, I'm gonna
get my loans, I'm gonna do this career because, like
you said, this career will get me this job and
get me this money, get my six figures. Blah blah blah.
That many of us are hitting those goals, are getting
those jobs, getting those careers, getting the six figures, and
(28:21):
still unhappy. And many of it has to do COVID
did quite a number for US millennials because a lot
of us, like you said, were we don't want to
deal with that anymore. So COVID happened, we didn't have
to go to the job that we hate going to
to make six figures because although y'all making six figures,
you don't like your job. I know you don't. So
(28:44):
you have to wake up. You don't have to wake
up anymore, and you realize that I'm okay, I'm happier,
I'm mentally stable doing my own doing my own company,
or going into dance or doing something that I never
thought would be doing. Now, what are the challenges that
possible you have faced, if you have any, from being
(29:08):
where you are now, well, being where you were before
to where you are now?
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Well, that is a loaded question because where do I start?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Because I can go on.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
I and my challenges. Well, I'm thinking the gears they're
ary right, because I'm like, where where do I start?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Right?
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Because I think about, you know, like you have the
takes for your job and you're unhappy, right, and I
think about I always think about what came before me, right,
And you know a lot of our parents, you know,
worked the nine to five and maybe didn't like it
one hundred percent, but like sixty percent of their work
(29:56):
environment and they managed because pay the to put food
on the table. They were very practical. That was a
practical approach. Realistic approach to work in life, but miserable.
And then that caused like parental and yeah, and like
(30:18):
childhood and parental like discrepancies. And now we have trauma
because our parents were unhappy. And I think the pandemic
quarantine help us take a step back. I mean, we've
all heard it, you know, and really reevaluate what's happening.
(30:40):
And although we may love our parents so much, we
didn't want to be them. And the cycle, the rat
race of like going to work and maybe not liking
your job one hundred percent, but you say, well, the
amount that I do like is worth you know, keeping
self sustaining or sustaining myself right, it's worth it. So
(31:04):
then you know, with the with the world shutting down,
it's like, wait a second, is it really worth it?
Because I need that for I need to like this
one hundred percent. I need to like what I'm doing
one hundred percent. I want to be happy and my
best self. I want to show up in the world
(31:26):
in the best way I can. I gotta like this
one hundred percent. And it's hard, it's hard to find
one hundred percent. And where I was, you know then
and now mentally is different.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
You know so much.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Oh my god, what didn't what didn't change? I mean
in the pandemic. Right before the pandemic, I had my
dream job. I was, you know, a marketer for a
cool brand, and you know, I had this like cool job.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
It was a really cool job.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
And you know, there was a point and this was
pre pandemic too, and I had been doing my line
I worked for a couple of years and I I
was like, man, I'm not feeling fulfilled, Like I feel empty,
you know. One I'm like pushing somebody else's dream and
(32:33):
then I'm like, but what is my dream? And I
was just not feeling fulfilled, not totally unhappy, but there
was a sense of emptiness, like what is my posture
in the world?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
What am I doing?
Speaker 3 (32:47):
And I was that was brewing in me before because
although I was marketing a spirit a spirits brand two
years prior, I was doing the same thing with a
brand that was connected to my culture, which was connected
to Haiti. And I love that. I loved being connected
(33:09):
to you know what I care about most, which is
the part of me. You know, being a Haitian woman
is like who I am, and a Haitian American woman
is who I am, you know, for my the ones
born in Haiti, they.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Were born there.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
You can't say you Haitian.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
But you know that was really important to me, and
that is that is the work that I felt. That's
when I felt most fulfilled. And then now I'm you know,
working in with different brands and I'm like, wait, you
know this is not tied to anything. You know, there's
no like giving back involved. My identity is not present
(33:49):
in what I do. And it was just it was hard.
It was a hard place to be. And then the
pandemic comes and I'm like, my goodness, you know, now
I have time to think and this is like I'm
not happy. And then you know, again I was working
doing that and the company was you know, so flexible
(34:12):
during the pandemic to still keep us. I was grateful
to still have a job after shut down. And then
I moved into an apartment, like and I was renovating
the apartment. That was like right, I was running to
home depot picking up like floorboards and stuff. So that
(34:34):
was like a renovation of my life too and what
the things I wanted, and you know, I was just
like man, and again it's brewing now it's like almost
like it's it's bubbling at the top, that feeling of
not feeling fulfilled. And then I had some weird instances
or in interactions with people in and out of the workplace,
(34:57):
and then you know, we had this social reckoning, the
social justice freckening. And my mind is like, you know,
my identity is such so a part of me. Whatever
I do, whatever I step into next, that has to
be present. And the things that I value and stand
for they have to be present, which is which are
(35:20):
equitable spaces for my people? And you know, evaluating how
I can be a part of creating those equitable spaces.
I'm still figuring it out, y'all. I don't have the answers.
I feel like he was about to give us a suggestion. No,
you know, I mean it's in the works, right. There
(35:40):
are plenty of you know, charities, foundations, organizations that work
with companies to to to create more to create these spaces.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
For people of color and different identities.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
But it's it's hard, and it doesn't happen overnight. And
you know, I think a lot about you know, when
we talk about the shift, and you know, I was
going through this hard time and I came out of Phoenix.
We always hear the success story, right, we always we
always hear you know, the struggle and you know this
(36:19):
the hero, we're coming out a hero or coming out
a success, But we don't frequently hear you know you're
still going through it.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
You're still And here's the thing. The thing is that
I believe that many of us will won't ever really
figure it out because if you really think about it,
even if you hit your goal, you create another goal,
and then now you're striving for that goro and then
now you hit that goal, now you hit them, Now
you want another goal. Even the richest person in the
(36:51):
world still wants more. And I'd be like, that's what
you're supposed to want in life. You're supposed to want more.
But enable for you to get to that level of
wanting more or even crushing goals, you got us do
the cleaning on the inside. And I was like, that
actually gives me my segue right into Mother's Day. So
Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday. For all of
(37:13):
you guys who do not remember, make sure you guys
go get your Mother's Day a gift. But I have
the pleasure with my mother and my sister. We will
be on the panelist for a mother and daughter conversation.
Life coach and therapist Licensed therapist Cheryl Clark. She is
having a conversation between mothers and daughters. It's going to
(37:33):
be live on Facebook and Twitter, but you can also
join and via zoom. Just check the link. It should
be strolling and register. And I feel like a lot
of us need to find the deep rooted issues that
we all have and that comes from the past traumas
for mom and dad and allow them to have that
(37:54):
conversation for the aha moments. Because me being in therapy,
I'm in therapy, y'all. All right, So if you guys
(38:39):
seen that, be sure to register, because let me tell you,
I believe that we all need to find the root
of the issues first. Like I said, I'm in therapy, y'all.
So with me being in therapy, I have been learning
that some of the issues that I have to come
from mommy and daddy traumas, Like when I see my
mom do something certain things, although she hates this now,
(39:02):
but like, oh, you're the reason why I'm like this.
I've got this nonsense for me. But the thing is
that also she has her issues that here's the thing
in the Caribbean culture. If you go see a therapist,
you are crazy. That's what they believe. It is taboo.
You do not go see a therapist or they're going
to lock you up in Rockland psych Okay. So now
(39:27):
that it's becoming a okay kind of thing where actually
Caribbean parents are open to doing it, I actually like,
I want my mom. This is the main reason why
I want to do this. I want my mom to
get into therapy because I think that she has so
much to offer this world that she has held back
over the years because of you know, the education she
(39:51):
didn't know, or so on and so forth. But I
have a feeling that, oh god, I am really losing
my voice. It's always when I'm about to launch Q talks,
my voice wants to play with me. I think, y'alla
praying against me.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
No, just get some teeth. The stream tea for like
a week straight.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
So what I really want to do is that I
really feel back to what I'll say, I really feel
that everybody, if you guys get to the root of
your parents' issue, then that can allow you guys to
have those conversations with your parents, and then that allows
you to grow as a family, you know, a family
(40:35):
of praise together, grow together because now you guys are
realizing the issues. It eliminates some of the arguments. My
mom and my sister and I we don't argue as much,
although we still do because there's three women in the house.
But there's just certain things where we're able to have
better conversations. And I feel like that's where it starts,
and then we can start to handle this thirty year
(40:58):
old thing and all of these hacks. Like my engineer
over here got this sticker called cu this fuck on
his the laptop because you got to remind himself.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
And right, they work, and you know it's it's I
like that, you know, you talk about therapy and you know,
getting to getting to like the core of what can
be a block, right, you know what can be a
block in progression. And I think that you know, it
(41:30):
goes back to when I said, you know this, when
we talked about you know who's responsible, who's blame, and
you know location, and you know our generation breaking cycles.
It's because we realize like these traumas or this trauma
like holds us back and we can't afford to be
(41:51):
held back anymore. There's already so much working against us.
We can't afford to hold back. So again with.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
The engineer with his like sticker.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
You know, for me, my affirmations in the morning, you know,
I look in them and be like, girl, you smart,
you know, you go, you go. Girl, You're the smartest person.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
I know.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
There's no one smarter than you.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
So all right, tell me some of your things, because
I'll go into what I do as my daily routine.
So what are some daily routines you do to keep
yourself balanced and stable?
Speaker 3 (42:26):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (42:27):
I'm never stable.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Let me stop y'all here. Kind of balance our life
with you?
Speaker 3 (42:32):
For one, therapy for me has been transformative because that's
that's weekly. Just you know, being really honest with yourself
is kind of hard, and you know that's what also
makes harder conversations with other people less hard. Uh, And
that's kind of what I do regularly for me, my
(42:56):
hot yoga. Nothing can come between me and my hot
girl up.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Okay, wait, how do you do hot yoga? You actually
go to a class or you do it at home? No,
I go to a class. I go to a I
went to a hot yoga class. I'm not gonna lie.
I hear you. I know why.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
It's like, oh my goodness, I am. I feel like
I am floating, like I transcend, you know, human kind.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Like for those who don't know, while she's transcending, what
hot yoga is. It's literally a yoga class in a
hot ass room. When I say hot, like hot ass
room and you're sweating bullets.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
Yeah, it's the rooms are about like ninety eight to
like one hundred and three degrees.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Where are you breathing? You're in a song or doing yoga.
Speaker 3 (43:43):
It's amazing, Like it's like you're beer in tune with
your mind and body and it's you know all this
what right? Yeah, you're focused on breathing. That's it's truth point.
So and then it just I feel like what I've
done like physical exertion really like fitness all in all,
Like I love hot yoga, that's my thing, but you know, boxing, cycling, hiking,
(44:05):
Like anytime I'm pushing my body hard is like this
expression of frustration or this release of frustration. And then
it's like okay, it's all out. Now I can come
back and think clearly and then get back to all
the projects that I'm working on my next steps.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
The planning.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
It helps you know, physical fitness, you know, pushing my
body is where I'm able to like release and then
come back and be in balance.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
I try to be in balanced. Now do you journal? Journal?
Speaker 3 (44:44):
I journal? Meditate. I need to get better at that.
You know I do, because I've been trying to meditate.
In like minute three, I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
good did I send out this email?
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Oh my god, I got to return this. I got
to do that. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
And it starts to get that meditation is something I
will I need to work on.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
Well, there's different forms. A lot of people don't realize
there's different forms of meditation. So there's candle meditation when
you're literally just staring into a candle flame and watching
the flames move. There's walking meditation, right, and then that's
what the hillte he'll toe. There's a variety. Only reason
why I know, you guys know I'm a hippie and
I stepped meditation and my one hundred thousand dollars schools.
So yeah, I definitely got a certificate meditation. So I
(45:31):
am one hundred thousand dollars. I'm certified. So how are
But meditation is actually really good, but you work out,
so that's still a form of it because the point
of meditation is just to get you to be focused
and to be.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Here, Yeah, to be president, and you know, kind of
let your mind be empty for a little bit, you know,
kind of let your mind just.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
Kind of suspend all all the noise, like just just
let it go.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
And I mean in yoga, you know, when we close
out a class, it's always with a couple of like
breathing exercises and meditation. But again, me and my mind,
you know, anxiety and just be in here. I'm laying
down like this, and I'm like, oh my god. Okay,
So I reached out to Rachel and then did I
reach out to Damien? And I don't know, did you
reach out to Frank? Oh my god, I didn't get
(46:26):
to Frank. Oh my goodness. Did did did the orders
come through?
Speaker 1 (46:29):
Did order? I didn't even.
Speaker 3 (46:30):
Put that on the day spreadsheet. Oh my god, I
should have put it on the spreads sheet.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
Oh my god, the pretty sorder?
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Did my god? That is doing a sabasina. Wait a minute,
are you not so all right? So my yoga people
and my meditation, Please talk to ourselves what that was
a lot going on in the mood that you're laying
on your back.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
And I know, and I'm like, I got things to do. No,
So that's why I said, I gotta work on my station.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
You know your truth? No, your truth. That's the first
part of what AA class admitted. So a few things
I would say that I like to do. As everyone knows,
running has become my life over the years. It's funny.
In high school I hated running. You could not tell
me to complete that mile run. That shit would take
(47:24):
me fifteen to thirty minutes the whole gym class. Now
it's like a game for me. Now I really got
to figure out if I could do it within eight minutes.
Still not there yet, but I'm getting there. Running for
sure my recreational fun uh huh. And then journaling. Journaling
is something that I just started really getting into. So
(47:50):
it's more of a blog journal for me. The whole
writing stuff. I'll start to write and then my brain
goes there where you go. I'm like, oh, I could
be writing my sponsorship ladder. Why am I writing this?
I could be doing that, Whereas if I'm typing, I
just it's just it flows out of me. Especially if
I'm in a I call it, how do I say it?
(48:13):
If I'm in a train or in a path or
whatever the word is, Like when I groove, that's the
word I'm moving.
Speaker 3 (48:21):
For.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Once I'm in my groove and I'm typing, my brain
really starts to go. So what I try to do,
especially with the meta the therapy class that I was taking,
they made us journal in the morning and journal in
the evening. The evening is the hardest time for me,
the journal because I just want to get off the
computer and go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Oh, your journal like on the computer, like you type it.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
That's why. Yes, it's like a long hair thing for me. Okay,
I like I literally so I started writing. I couldn't
do the writing. I have plethoroughs of journals, but my
journals are my notepads. So once I start journaling, it
just like my handwriting is sloppy in there. But what
I started doing is that I would just journal on
(49:04):
the computer, make it a blog. Then of course, then
I do my writing. Then I do my coffee. In
the morning, you have to have a cup of coffee,
and then I meditate and then my day starts.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
Yeah, that's a very good way to start, like meditate
for me.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
I have this weird thing.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Where I do when I get up out of bed,
like get me started.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
For one, I'd like do a flip out.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
Of bed because I struggle getting up early.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
Did you read that five What was that book by
what's his name? Five five Am Club? The five Am Club?
Speaker 1 (49:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (49:44):
No, I have not read that, but I don't want
to because.
Speaker 2 (49:49):
That's exactly he says, jump out of bed and do
push up. So my assumption was that I thought you
read that book. That's why I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (49:56):
Don't tell me wake up at five am?
Speaker 2 (49:58):
Why are you flipping to bed?
Speaker 3 (50:00):
Because it's like it gets the blood going and it
makes me feel like, okay, I'm awake, because if I don't,
I'm like, all right, I got ten more minutes. I
need to know what lip looks like like it's just
like all right, I'll put like a lay upside down
and then just whoop, get myself up. That's how I
get out of it.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
I just want to be a fly in Garcel's room.
Let me tell you about Garcia real quick, Okay. Garcela
and I met back in twenty fourteen, and she has
been my firecro cracker since I met her, and you have, honestly,
you woke me up half of the time because the
time I didn't want to go out or do things
like that. Garcillas like, girl, what are you talking about.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
Let's go, let's go have fun, Let's go through it
like she was all about it. And honestly, I admire
people like you because you live. You show me what
it meant to live life.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
Shut the front door.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Yeah, you showed me what it meant to live life
because you know me. Everyone knows me. I'm all about
work and getting things done and just being from my computer.
But when you would actually take me out and really
just go out, I would go out like I really
enjoyed it right.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
And be yourself. I believe that there is when it
comes to balance, you have to make it that looks
like whatever it is for you. But I think that
we can't forget to enjoy the process, celebrate the small
winds and you know, put yourself on the back for
(51:26):
failing sometimes because it takes courage to do that. And
I really think we should be having fun along the way.
You know, I really do, And it doesn't mean, you know, reckless,
irresponsible fun. I think it's just about enjoying every step.
You know, if you're riding the train to get to work,
(51:49):
you know, if there's a little kid making a joke
or stumbling or talking laugh, you know, like you know,
see appreciate the variety of people you come across every day.
Like that is enjoying and having fun even in the
smallest in the smallest ways, like when.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
You have your cuple of coffee, You're like, dage this coffee.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
Good girl, that this smell is like just waking me up.
Now do you see what I mean? Now, you guys
do understand it? Like this girl literally made me live
my life. I was like, I'm gonna end it on
this one last thing that she is making me do. Y'all.
She has made me do a sport, a spartan race.
Speaker 3 (52:24):
Yes, an obstacle course, you know all about fifteen plus obstacles.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
I'm gonna be climbing walls, rolling through mud a five K.
I thought it was a run. I was like, yeah,
I'm here. I watched the YouTube video. I gotta throw
crawl through mud and we are going to be the
only black people there.
Speaker 3 (52:40):
No we're not.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
No, we're not.
Speaker 2 (52:42):
Okay, a handful maybe, but it's gonna be a good
say in New York.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
It's gonna be a good time. And you know it's
a healthy activity. Challenge yourself and then imagine you're like
you think you can't do like the monkey bars or something,
and then you go up there, you try it and
you come out feeling unstoppable and the next thing you know,
you have a five million sponsorships.
Speaker 2 (53:03):
All right, say that way.
Speaker 3 (53:05):
Okay, okay, you say that way and that note.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
Tell everyone where they can find you.
Speaker 3 (53:10):
I mean, where can you guys find me? I mean,
you know, personal, Instagram, garsel on my bell and I'm
just there. You can reach out if the transition process right,
It's all about transforming. I mean I can chat give
tips on you know what planning looks like when you're
taking the next step being thirty.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
I don't know you want to vent.
Speaker 3 (53:32):
I'm here, but yeah you can buy me on install
and yeah, I do my best to get to everyone
as much as quick as possible. That's like the requirement
these days. Yeah, everybody needs to be instant.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
Yeah, social media, what can That's what's required of us.
I'm like, so, I do want to give a shout
out to our sponsored today out sponsors, Squerrel Taste, if
you guys haven't seen them at the bottom. It is
a hay ship in criisine catering cuisine. You make all
Haitian food and that is my mama, so she sponsored
this episode. Thanks Mom, Right, all right, you guys tune
(54:11):
in every Tuesday at eleven am. This is the new
season for the Q Talk Show. We are here for
season seven, so if you enjoyed, make sure you subscribe, like, comment, share,
tell everybody about it, and we will be back here
next week at eleven am for the lunch hour. Till later. Bye.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey talkers, welcome to the que Talk Show. And of
course I have to start talking before the show starts. Yeah,
season seven, you guys, we made it first episode of
season seven. Finally. I'm so happy you guys are joining
us because we are now live and I lost my voice,
as you guys always know, always always losing it. But
(00:42):
I have a special guest. Now. If you guys remember Debait,
my cast and crew from Debate, and you remember the
crazy times and crazy conversations on the couch, we are
here with Garcelmno.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Hello, Hello, Hello, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Now I know you guys miss her, but we're about
to just talk about turning thirty and the challenges slash
nonsense that comes with it. So let's rewind. Last night
I had to go out on the business state. Right.
I took one of my audio and visual guy to
(01:23):
STK last night. Right, great night. Having been to STK
in a while, you know, havn't been in the city,
been in California. I'm in New York now, Yay. Come
to find out, ended up knowing the manager at SDK
because him and I used to work at Gap on
Harold Square, So which is great. He gave me one
(01:43):
hundred dollars off the check. Thank you, by the way,
love you. Then my audio and visual guy will say, oh,
let's go out. It's after party for the mc gala
Tina Tiana tail and all of them are going to
be there, right, okay, great? And now today thirty and
drinking and then having to wake up and come to work.
(02:08):
My sister woke me up this morning and she was like,
you got to get up and go in the shower.
I was like, I took a shower when you talk
about it, and then she told me I turned back
over and went to sleep. She was like, no, girl,
you got to show the deal. Get up. You got
forty minutes to get dressed. So that was my morning.
So thirty and drinking, let's start with there now not anymore?
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Right. It hits different going out at you know, twenty four,
twenty five, You party, get home three four in the morning,
have a slice of pizza, wake up at seven and
all is well, you're ready to go back at work. Yeah. No,
at thirty it's like you wake up and feel like
(02:55):
you just got into the worst type of fight with
a cow.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
I got up and had to lay back down. I
was like, no, I'm not ready yet. You're gonna have
to get.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
You have to peel yourself out of the bed. That's why,
like these days, it's like I have to like clear
the calendar. Someone invites me to any event for and
I know that there's going to be you know, some
consumption involved, some alcohol consumption involved. I'm like, Okay, what
are the next three days gonna look like? Because if
I have a lot to do, I'm gonna have to
(03:30):
politely decline.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yeah yeah, no, no, no, you're right, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
I can't do spontaneous things anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So now I found out about something after being in
Florida for a little bit. BC powdered. They don't sell
that here in New York.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yeah, bro, that works.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I'm not gonna lie unless I'm not doing it correctly
if it isn't working for me.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
No, it's like you know, my my family in Florida, Uh,
my cousins and stuff. They talk about BC power are
all the top. Yeah, they all the time, like just
you know, in the morning, wake up, put it in
the water, and you just go for drinking before you start. Wait,
I'm like, okay, isn't it just like crushed aspirin.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, that's it works. Maybe it's the psychology behind it,
but I believe that. I wake up like I'm back
in my twenties, like, all right, I'm ready, what's next
another night of drinking? Well? Did you have some DC
pottery this morning?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
No? Well, course, so you're going to crush some aspirin.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
It's not here in New York.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
It's the psychology behind it because I know it's sea
powder and it's been working and everybody vouch for it
in the South. So I'm like, yeah, it's all right.
So now talking about vouching and BC powder and drinking
at thirty, let's get into the hardships at thirty.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
We have to because we got to talk about it
because I'm ready to talk. If you guys have watched
my last video about the child's and tribulations I facing
cal when you're back in twenty seventeen, it's not pretty,
but it's hear. So they did not tell us that
when you tearn thirty, you still wouldn't have your shit together,
you know.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Yeah, they shout out to DJ Khalen for making they
this mysterious entity, right because it's like I'm mad at them,
but who are they?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
So let's disact that. Let's start from the beginning. We're
in school. They're teaching us, what is it, the bagum
theory thagoryum theorem? Yeah, exactly unnecessary, but nobody taught us about.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
There we go. They got it.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
But now when do we use that with thirty?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
You know, I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I mean, when I'm doing my budgets at the end
of the month, I think about how that will come
to use and it just was A square?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Was B square?
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Equal C squared? Does not sound like figure out my
expenses and budgets and where I can be saving money.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
It does help me on my taxes.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
No, zero, you don't get your money back, I promise.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I'm like, where is the A squared B squared equal
C squared?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Can you square my money?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Please?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Before? And now talk about money now with that's being
in our thirties, finances we were let's just say the
millennials were handed the rotten apple or the or the
shortest stick because of the financial crisis in two thousand
and eight. That made it harder for us to get
(06:45):
jobs or go to college and get to college and
be successful because before us it was easier.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Well before it's a lot of things were happening, and
you know, there was a lot of stick ability in.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
The housing market before two thousand and eight.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
And also there were some really like messed up things
going on with establishing the middle class and race relations.
These things had an effect, but that middle class was
kind of trying to cement itself in these times. And
(07:25):
then you know, in two thousand and eight came all
this credit was given out, no one can pay it back,
and everybody lost their house, well a lot of people.
I mean I say everyone, a lot of people lost
their house. And that's when houses became like it what
twenty ten, they were like a dollar.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah, remember in the pandemic.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
I don't know if you saw this meme shortly after
lockdown in like April, like the end of March.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Everybody's like, does this mean I was going to be
a dollar again?
Speaker 3 (07:53):
That's extreme, right, But you know, houses became affordable, and
you know, interest rates very reasonable. But I don't think
I disagree with we were given the shorthand of the stick.
I just think we were given the wrong tools.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Okay, I think that.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
You know, we inherited really bad economics when it comes
to you know, education, the cost of education, when it
comes to you know, by the time we are adults,
young adults, you know, there's a gap or not a gap,
(08:37):
but the middle class is shrinking. Trying to advance is harder,
it's more expensive where we are saddled with debt to
try to get ahead, but this debt keeps us back.
So it's this kind of oxymoron existence with being a
millennial and trying to at thirty figuring out what that
(09:02):
would look like. Because thirty years ago, thirty looked like
married kids, stability. You've probably been at your job for
five to eight years by now by thirty, you know,
you graduated college like things were in order, and that
was what was constructed as this American dream, and we
(09:29):
grew up thinking that it was achievable in this whimsical way, okay,
And I think that that's where, you know, now we
really the realities of you know, the realities of trying
(09:51):
to navigate how the best, how to best climb this
ladder or achieved the American dream, or create your own dream,
you know, be somewhat go against the grain, or find
a way to make your life look like what you
want it to look like without the pressure of society,
(10:14):
and you know, saying that, hey, that American dream isn't
for me. What if it's a global dream. What if
it's you know, a creative dream. What if it's a
physical like, what if it's a fitness dream. We don't know.
And the template that we've been given is it's fragile.
(10:38):
So you made a lot of good.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Points, especially with everything being fragile, you made a lot
of good points. One finance, finance being more of the
route to our issues at the age of thirty college
loan to well. Shout out to Navia for for giving
fifty three thousand dollars on my school loans.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Shut the front door.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I am hell serious. Check my Instagram. Yep, that loan
is forgiven fifty three thousand.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
The gems give me clearly.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I heard that they sued Navia A savvy man, right,
and then now they had to fifty three thousand. They
sent me an email. They apparently they forgave it June
to twenty twenty one, but they sent me an email
last week because I was logging into the system and
they probably saw I was like, oh shoot, we never
told this girl so yeah, fifty three thousand dollars in
(11:29):
school loans. I am halfway there. D What school did
you go to? What did you study? I went to
no public schools, which was the worst. I can you
see education? Right? No one told me about.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
That, right, And that's what I'm talking about. The tools
were given the wrong tools because at eighteen, right, eighteen
in uh, between two thousand, two thousand and seven and
two thoy twelve, eighteen looked really different from nineteen eighty,
(12:04):
you know, nineteen eighty nineteen eighty five, where you can
pay tuition on your part time job salary at you know,
a public school.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
You know, somebody should have told you at a public school.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
But you know, there were so many more resources available,
or maybe the resources are still available, let me not
say that, but the resources, there were so many different
means to supplement what we needed financially for higher education.
(12:44):
And it's just a stark difference, like tuition costs rising
for no reason. It's arbitrary. They like run by their
own rule, you know, the higher education system just runs
by their own rules. So you know, tuition costs rising
(13:06):
at alarming rates. It makes it, you know, kind of
daunting and then it's like at eighteen, Yeah, here's all
the money to go to school, and you know that's
real possible, right, just take this four hour course on
how to repay back your debt. That was such a yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah, I barely did my homework at eighteen. Everybody was
waiting for those refund checks to come through, and I
had things prepared for me to go shopping to buy
the room, not thinking about repaying my school loans. I
didn't even know what that.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Was even the flaw and the go to school, get
a job, repay the loan, right, I sat, I take
on fifty thousand dollars in school loans.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
This is an example.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Take out fifty thousand dollars in school loans, and I
think I'm going to get one hundred thousand dollars job
and be able to pay that back and what five
six years max. Then when you get the education and
you are struggling to barely make twenty five thirty an hour,
you know, based on your education and skill, that should
(14:15):
be the default right to make a decent salary. And
that's just getting at the hourly rate. If you want
to talk yearly, I mean, what's reasonable is you think
at least you think when you get out of college, Oh,
I'm gonna hit a six figure job easy and pay
back this debt in no time. That's the dream, right,
But when you go out and compete, and one, you're
(14:38):
still missing some skills because again I don't know how
far and I don't want to minimize any area of study.
But let's just say, you know, you took an art
introduction class in your science and your science degree program,
you had to take an art class right in our
(15:00):
introduction class. And when you get out, how is our
introduction helping you in your interviews?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
You know?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Is your school positioning you to compete? And that is
where again some of the tools we've had some kind
of broken tools.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Now it goes back. It's like who do we blame
for that? Do we blame?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Who?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Pardon me? Wow? I didn't choking that voice?
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Get it like you got a girl? You need water?
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Oh my sorry, no worries?
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Are you going in the verm room? I have a
water bottle on the side of my back and you
get it from me?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Please?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Oh for real?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Why do you say something? Oh? Never mind, thank you, okay,
thank you?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
All right, I'm back. Wow, I was choking. I even
started tearing, tell you guys and losing my voice.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
But that's the whole on wyoh, time out.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yeah, we're still on. Oh, we're live.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
We're live, we are lying.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Everything is happening. You guys are again to see the
behind the scenes, everything that happens for real. We're live,
we are I almost choked on National TV.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
And I'm like, while she's choking, can you grab me
some water too?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm happy, thank you. All right,
So back to the show. Now. It goes back to
my question, who do we blame? I just gotta drink
you guys.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Yes, moisturizer, get moisturized, get to throw moisturize.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I don't necessarily.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Think it's about blaming. It's about really identifying what went
wrong and how do we prevent it in the future.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
So is it mom's job to teach us? Is it
dad's job or is it the teachers? Because this goes
back with the nurture versus nature conversation.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Right, and it takes it takes a tribe, right, if
we go by it takes a tribe to raise a child, right,
There's all these different layers to the tribe. And I
think that when it comes down to it, you know
how to figure out where the problem happened. It's it's layered.
(17:35):
It's complex because you know, partial school responsibility, partial parental responsibility,
partial like this system and the people the network around
children or us when we were around. But then there's
(17:56):
a different type of a different type of conversation when
it comes to that, because we also are parents of immigrants, right,
and we are black women, and you know, our experience
is gonna look very different from our our counterparts with
(18:20):
means and resources, because thirty from.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Me or Mark, Florida, from.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
A working class it's gonna look very different from thirty
that is that grew up just twenty miles west of me.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Of course, so.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
And that's gonna look like, you know, my white counterparts.
I was trying to not say it, but here we are.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
It's not white people.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
I think that you know, it's all about it's all
about where and how you grew up. Like your zip
code says a lot about you. Notice I did it
when I talked about where I grew up. I didn't
go all the way to you know, the Ridge zip
codes in Connecticut. No, just twenty miles west of me,
and it's a whole different, different life. And those kids
(19:19):
grew up with more knowledge or in an environment that
fosters financial responsibility or at least some knowledge or it's yeah,
some knowledge and an environment where you know, you can
talk about money and how.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
To manage it a little better.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
You know, parents who want that for their kids or
can provide that for their kids. Because again, in my
household growing up, my mom worked two jobs and went
to school. I don't believe. I want to believe that
she wanted to teach me about money sooner, but she
(20:00):
just didn't.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Have the time, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
And then it's like, okay, then if it wasn't mom,
what about school? What about you know, uh, your high schools,
in middle schools? I mean in middle school, we had
one class that taught me how to write a check,
and I was so proud.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
But they told you how to write a check? Yeah,
you guys just pay bills all they taught you how
to pay a bill? What kind of educational system? Okay,
to write a check? We got to talk to that school.
(20:38):
But continue, I think, right, so it's like the public school, okay,
but what about aunts, uncles? And cousins and extracurricular activities,
and it's like.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Yeah, you know, they're trying to teach you how to
be a well rounded person, and you know, and they
just missed this one part to make the circle whole.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And I think.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
That's where, you know, we have to identify, like, okay,
particular classes.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Socioeconomic classes of people.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Like that's kind of where it goes when it talks
about when we talk about blame more responsibility.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I would like to piggyback off of your location. It's
very true. That's why Oprah has this whole entire series
coming out about your location. I love Oprah, I do.
I Oprah is my shorty doo, y'all know me. But
she has this new series coming out about your health
(22:01):
affect your zip code affects your health, and which is
I know many of us know this that if you
live in the hood, you're gonna get hood doctors and
then going to the clinic to go see somebody as
like a year a day or they give you please
excuse give you mediocre. We're all live, so everything is
happening as you guys normally see it. But what I
(22:25):
don't understand is that we live in a society where
we're not dumb to what's going on. We know that
we live in a systemic racist country. When do we
When do we as a community come together and really
(22:47):
start making a change, Because yes, I understand, it takes
one and there are a bunch of us who are
out there that are trying to make the change. But
then you have the ones who have yet to even
bulge or even go vote or even go do anything.
And yes, I understand the whole voting and the whole
thing blah blah blah, so and so forth. Yes I understand,
But if our parents didn't do it for us and
(23:11):
we're living this way now, are we just repeating the
cycle for our future kids?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
You know, I'm gonna take an extreme example to answer
that question.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Okay, And.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
This is why I love my generation so much.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Like we are just not here for the nonsense anymore,
not here for the bs.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Like, oh, we're like we're not gonna take it, We're
not gonna take it anymore.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
No.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
No, I say that because I recently I saw the
headline of Serena in negotiations to own part of Chelsea. Yes,
and then I found out that Lebron owns a part
(24:01):
of Liverpool, and I'm like, man, I love us because
we are behaving, we are financially behaving or behaving financially
in a way that sets us up to break these cycles, right,
because we are using the knowledge that you know, we
(24:23):
have access to so much access to the information.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
It's a lot.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
So and that's an extreme example because we're all not
you know, mega millionaire billionaire athletes. But that's a sign that,
you know, the mentality is shifting. Because again, twenty years ago,
when you had the black mega billionaire or multi millionaire athletes,
what were they doing buying many many homes and cars
(24:54):
and you know, and that's that's a general statement, but
I want most of them, it was hard to get
them to think for the future, think for their kids. Yes, sure,
where now it's you know, we're getting into the mentality
in mass I've noticed that, I mean through social media,
but in mass that okay, we have to be a
(25:17):
little smarter financially. We need to behave in a way
where we're not looking for the next check to pay
the bill. How do we get out of that, you know,
how do we become smarter? And I think now more
than ever you know, black middle class millennials and.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
You know gen x X, what have you.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Just black middle class we're getting a little industrious. I
love it, you know, opening small businesses and keeping money
coming in and you know, positioning in ourselves, positioning ourselves
so that you know, our kids kids can have a
better understanding of how to build a life, build a
(26:06):
healthy life mentally, financially, physically. So I've noticed that. That's
an observation. But yeah, there's any other change. Yes, we
can be a part of it. And I'm not saying
that every every black working middle class person is in
positions to completely change their circumstances. It varies, but in
(26:34):
the event or in the situation where they can, they
have the ability to change. I see it happening, and I,
oh help.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I just lost my train of thought, this whole fog
brain fart.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
But yeah, when we talk about you know, there has
to be a change there we go. The change has
to come from everywhere, every layer of society.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
US.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
I mean, hello, and employ the black people, you know,
you know, get the schools, get curriculums to be a
little more forthcoming with you know, competing in the in
the free market. You know, make pay more equitable, make
the professional spaces more equitable for people of color, for
(27:29):
all identities. It starts there. When it comes to economics
and making sure the future is better off, I would.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Like to piggyback off to making sure the future is
better off. I realize that a lot of us, in
terms of change, are changing our career paths. Many of
us who started out with this mindset that I'm going
to go to school and one hundred thousand dollars worth
of loans and I'm going to do that so proudly goodness,
(28:00):
I'm happy here. I'm gonna go to school, I'm gonna
get my loans, I'm gonna do this career because, like
you said, this career will get me this job and
get me this money, get my six figures. Blah blah blah.
That many of us are hitting those goals, are getting
those jobs, getting those careers, getting the six figures, and
(28:21):
still unhappy. And many of it has to do COVID
did quite a number for US millennials because a lot
of us, like you said, were we don't want to
deal with that anymore. So COVID happened, we didn't have
to go to the job that we hate going to
to make six figures because although y'all making six figures,
you don't like your job. I know you don't. So
(28:44):
you have to wake up. You don't have to wake
up anymore, and you realize that I'm okay, I'm happier,
I'm mentally stable doing my own doing my own company,
or going into dance or doing something that I never
thought would be doing. Now, what are the challenges that
possible you have faced, if you have any, from being
(29:08):
where you are now, well, being where you were before
to where you are now?
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Well, that is a loaded question because where do I start?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Because I can go on.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
I and my challenges. Well, I'm thinking the gears they're
ary right, because I'm like, where where do I start?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Right?
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Because I think about, you know, like you have the
takes for your job and you're unhappy, right, and I
think about I always think about what came before me, right,
And you know a lot of our parents, you know,
worked the nine to five and maybe didn't like it
one hundred percent, but like sixty percent of their work
(29:56):
environment and they managed because pay the to put food
on the table. They were very practical. That was a
practical approach. Realistic approach to work in life, but miserable.
And then that caused like parental and yeah, and like
(30:18):
childhood and parental like discrepancies. And now we have trauma
because our parents were unhappy. And I think the pandemic
quarantine help us take a step back. I mean, we've
all heard it, you know, and really reevaluate what's happening.
(30:40):
And although we may love our parents so much, we
didn't want to be them. And the cycle, the rat
race of like going to work and maybe not liking
your job one hundred percent, but you say, well, the
amount that I do like is worth you know, keeping
self sustaining or sustaining myself right, it's worth it. So
(31:04):
then you know, with the with the world shutting down,
it's like, wait a second, is it really worth it?
Because I need that for I need to like this
one hundred percent. I need to like what I'm doing
one hundred percent. I want to be happy and my
best self. I want to show up in the world
(31:26):
in the best way I can. I gotta like this
one hundred percent. And it's hard, it's hard to find
one hundred percent. And where I was, you know then
and now mentally is different.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
You know so much.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Oh my god, what didn't what didn't change? I mean
in the pandemic. Right before the pandemic, I had my
dream job. I was, you know, a marketer for a
cool brand, and you know, I had this like cool job.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
It was a really cool job.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
And you know, there was a point and this was
pre pandemic too, and I had been doing my line
I worked for a couple of years and I I
was like, man, I'm not feeling fulfilled, Like I feel empty,
you know. One I'm like pushing somebody else's dream and
(32:33):
then I'm like, but what is my dream? And I
was just not feeling fulfilled, not totally unhappy, but there
was a sense of emptiness, like what is my posture
in the world?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
What am I doing?
Speaker 3 (32:47):
And I was that was brewing in me before because
although I was marketing a spirit a spirits brand two
years prior, I was doing the same thing with a
brand that was connected to my culture, which was connected
to Haiti. And I love that. I loved being connected
(33:09):
to you know what I care about most, which is
the part of me. You know, being a Haitian woman
is like who I am, and a Haitian American woman
is who I am, you know, for my the ones
born in Haiti, they.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Were born there.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
You can't say you Haitian.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
But you know that was really important to me, and
that is that is the work that I felt. That's
when I felt most fulfilled. And then now I'm you know,
working in with different brands and I'm like, wait, you
know this is not tied to anything. You know, there's
no like giving back involved. My identity is not present
(33:49):
in what I do. And it was just it was hard.
It was a hard place to be. And then the
pandemic comes and I'm like, my goodness, you know, now
I have time to think and this is like I'm
not happy. And then you know, again I was working
doing that and the company was you know, so flexible
(34:12):
during the pandemic to still keep us. I was grateful
to still have a job after shut down. And then
I moved into an apartment, like and I was renovating
the apartment. That was like right, I was running to
home depot picking up like floorboards and stuff. So that
(34:34):
was like a renovation of my life too and what
the things I wanted, and you know, I was just
like man, and again it's brewing now it's like almost
like it's it's bubbling at the top, that feeling of
not feeling fulfilled. And then I had some weird instances
or in interactions with people in and out of the workplace,
(34:57):
and then you know, we had this social reckoning, the
social justice freckening. And my mind is like, you know,
my identity is such so a part of me. Whatever
I do, whatever I step into next, that has to
be present. And the things that I value and stand
for they have to be present, which is which are
(35:20):
equitable spaces for my people? And you know, evaluating how
I can be a part of creating those equitable spaces.
I'm still figuring it out, y'all. I don't have the answers.
I feel like he was about to give us a suggestion. No,
you know, I mean it's in the works, right. There
(35:40):
are plenty of you know, charities, foundations, organizations that work
with companies to to to create more to create these spaces.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
For people of color and different identities.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
But it's it's hard, and it doesn't happen overnight. And
you know, I think a lot about you know, when
we talk about the shift, and you know, I was
going through this hard time and I came out of Phoenix.
We always hear the success story, right, we always we
always hear you know, the struggle and you know this
(36:19):
the hero, we're coming out a hero or coming out
a success, But we don't frequently hear you know you're
still going through it.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
You're still And here's the thing. The thing is that
I believe that many of us will won't ever really
figure it out because if you really think about it,
even if you hit your goal, you create another goal,
and then now you're striving for that goro and then
now you hit that goal, now you hit them, Now
you want another goal. Even the richest person in the
(36:51):
world still wants more. And I'd be like, that's what
you're supposed to want in life. You're supposed to want more.
But enable for you to get to that level of
wanting more or even crushing goals, you got us do
the cleaning on the inside. And I was like, that
actually gives me my segue right into Mother's Day. So
Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday. For all of
(37:13):
you guys who do not remember, make sure you guys
go get your Mother's Day a gift. But I have
the pleasure with my mother and my sister. We will
be on the panelist for a mother and daughter conversation.
Life coach and therapist Licensed therapist Cheryl Clark. She is
having a conversation between mothers and daughters. It's going to
(37:33):
be live on Facebook and Twitter, but you can also
join and via zoom. Just check the link. It should
be strolling and register. And I feel like a lot
of us need to find the deep rooted issues that
we all have and that comes from the past traumas
for mom and dad and allow them to have that
(37:54):
conversation for the aha moments. Because me being in therapy,
I'm in therapy, y'all. All right, So if you guys
(38:39):
seen that, be sure to register, because let me tell you,
I believe that we all need to find the root
of the issues first. Like I said, I'm in therapy, y'all.
So with me being in therapy, I have been learning
that some of the issues that I have to come
from mommy and daddy traumas, Like when I see my
mom do something certain things, although she hates this now,
(39:02):
but like, oh, you're the reason why I'm like this.
I've got this nonsense for me. But the thing is
that also she has her issues that here's the thing
in the Caribbean culture. If you go see a therapist,
you are crazy. That's what they believe. It is taboo.
You do not go see a therapist or they're going
to lock you up in Rockland psych Okay. So now
(39:27):
that it's becoming a okay kind of thing where actually
Caribbean parents are open to doing it, I actually like,
I want my mom. This is the main reason why
I want to do this. I want my mom to
get into therapy because I think that she has so
much to offer this world that she has held back
over the years because of you know, the education she
(39:51):
didn't know, or so on and so forth. But I
have a feeling that, oh god, I am really losing
my voice. It's always when I'm about to launch Q talks,
my voice wants to play with me. I think, y'alla
praying against me.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
No, just get some teeth. The stream tea for like
a week straight.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
So what I really want to do is that I
really feel back to what I'll say, I really feel
that everybody, if you guys get to the root of
your parents' issue, then that can allow you guys to
have those conversations with your parents, and then that allows
you to grow as a family, you know, a family
(40:35):
of praise together, grow together because now you guys are
realizing the issues. It eliminates some of the arguments. My
mom and my sister and I we don't argue as much,
although we still do because there's three women in the house.
But there's just certain things where we're able to have
better conversations. And I feel like that's where it starts,
and then we can start to handle this thirty year
(40:58):
old thing and all of these hacks. Like my engineer
over here got this sticker called cu this fuck on
his the laptop because you got to remind himself.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
And right, they work, and you know it's it's I
like that, you know, you talk about therapy and you know,
getting to getting to like the core of what can
be a block, right, you know what can be a
block in progression. And I think that you know, it
(41:30):
goes back to when I said, you know this, when
we talked about you know who's responsible, who's blame, and
you know location, and you know our generation breaking cycles.
It's because we realize like these traumas or this trauma
like holds us back and we can't afford to be
(41:51):
held back anymore. There's already so much working against us.
We can't afford to hold back. So again with.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
The engineer with his like sticker.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
You know, for me, my affirmations in the morning, you know,
I look in them and be like, girl, you smart,
you know, you go, you go. Girl, You're the smartest person.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
I know.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
There's no one smarter than you.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
So all right, tell me some of your things, because
I'll go into what I do as my daily routine.
So what are some daily routines you do to keep
yourself balanced and stable?
Speaker 3 (42:26):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (42:27):
I'm never stable.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Let me stop y'all here. Kind of balance our life
with you?
Speaker 3 (42:32):
For one, therapy for me has been transformative because that's
that's weekly. Just you know, being really honest with yourself
is kind of hard, and you know that's what also
makes harder conversations with other people less hard. Uh, And
that's kind of what I do regularly for me, my
(42:56):
hot yoga. Nothing can come between me and my hot
girl up.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Okay, wait, how do you do hot yoga? You actually
go to a class or you do it at home? No,
I go to a class. I go to a I
went to a hot yoga class. I'm not gonna lie.
I hear you. I know why.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
It's like, oh my goodness, I am. I feel like
I am floating, like I transcend, you know, human kind.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Like for those who don't know, while she's transcending, what
hot yoga is. It's literally a yoga class in a
hot ass room. When I say hot, like hot ass
room and you're sweating bullets.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
Yeah, it's the rooms are about like ninety eight to
like one hundred and three degrees.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Where are you breathing? You're in a song or doing yoga.
Speaker 3 (43:43):
It's amazing, Like it's like you're beer in tune with
your mind and body and it's you know all this
what right? Yeah, you're focused on breathing. That's it's truth point.
So and then it just I feel like what I've
done like physical exertion really like fitness all in all,
Like I love hot yoga, that's my thing, but you know, boxing, cycling, hiking,
(44:05):
Like anytime I'm pushing my body hard is like this
expression of frustration or this release of frustration. And then
it's like okay, it's all out. Now I can come
back and think clearly and then get back to all
the projects that I'm working on my next steps.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
The planning.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
It helps you know, physical fitness, you know, pushing my
body is where I'm able to like release and then
come back and be in balance.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
I try to be in balanced. Now do you journal? Journal?
Speaker 3 (44:44):
I journal? Meditate. I need to get better at that.
You know I do, because I've been trying to meditate.
In like minute three, I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
good did I send out this email?
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Oh my god, I got to return this. I got
to do that. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
And it starts to get that meditation is something I
will I need to work on.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
Well, there's different forms. A lot of people don't realize
there's different forms of meditation. So there's candle meditation when
you're literally just staring into a candle flame and watching
the flames move. There's walking meditation, right, and then that's
what the hillte he'll toe. There's a variety. Only reason
why I know, you guys know I'm a hippie and
I stepped meditation and my one hundred thousand dollars schools.
So yeah, I definitely got a certificate meditation. So I
(45:31):
am one hundred thousand dollars. I'm certified. So how are
But meditation is actually really good, but you work out,
so that's still a form of it because the point
of meditation is just to get you to be focused
and to be.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Here, Yeah, to be president, and you know, kind of
let your mind be empty for a little bit, you know,
kind of let your mind just.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
Kind of suspend all all the noise, like just just
let it go.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
And I mean in yoga, you know, when we close
out a class, it's always with a couple of like
breathing exercises and meditation. But again, me and my mind,
you know, anxiety and just be in here. I'm laying
down like this, and I'm like, oh my god. Okay,
So I reached out to Rachel and then did I
reach out to Damien? And I don't know, did you
reach out to Frank? Oh my god, I didn't get
(46:26):
to Frank. Oh my goodness. Did did did the orders
come through?
Speaker 1 (46:29):
Did order? I didn't even.
Speaker 3 (46:30):
Put that on the day spreadsheet. Oh my god, I
should have put it on the spreads sheet.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
Oh my god, the pretty sorder?
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Did my god? That is doing a sabasina. Wait a minute,
are you not so all right? So my yoga people
and my meditation, Please talk to ourselves what that was
a lot going on in the mood that you're laying
on your back.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
And I know, and I'm like, I got things to do. No,
So that's why I said, I gotta work on my station.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
You know your truth? No, your truth. That's the first
part of what AA class admitted. So a few things
I would say that I like to do. As everyone knows,
running has become my life over the years. It's funny.
In high school I hated running. You could not tell
me to complete that mile run. That shit would take
(47:24):
me fifteen to thirty minutes the whole gym class. Now
it's like a game for me. Now I really got
to figure out if I could do it within eight minutes.
Still not there yet, but I'm getting there. Running for
sure my recreational fun uh huh. And then journaling. Journaling
is something that I just started really getting into. So
(47:50):
it's more of a blog journal for me. The whole
writing stuff. I'll start to write and then my brain
goes there where you go. I'm like, oh, I could
be writing my sponsorship ladder. Why am I writing this?
I could be doing that, Whereas if I'm typing, I
just it's just it flows out of me. Especially if
I'm in a I call it, how do I say it?
(48:13):
If I'm in a train or in a path or
whatever the word is, Like when I groove, that's the
word I'm moving.
Speaker 3 (48:21):
For.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Once I'm in my groove and I'm typing, my brain
really starts to go. So what I try to do,
especially with the meta the therapy class that I was taking,
they made us journal in the morning and journal in
the evening. The evening is the hardest time for me,
the journal because I just want to get off the
computer and go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Oh, your journal like on the computer, like you type it.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
That's why. Yes, it's like a long hair thing for me. Okay,
I like I literally so I started writing. I couldn't
do the writing. I have plethoroughs of journals, but my
journals are my notepads. So once I start journaling, it
just like my handwriting is sloppy in there. But what
I started doing is that I would just journal on
(49:04):
the computer, make it a blog. Then of course, then
I do my writing. Then I do my coffee. In
the morning, you have to have a cup of coffee,
and then I meditate and then my day starts.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
Yeah, that's a very good way to start, like meditate
for me.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
I have this weird thing.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Where I do when I get up out of bed,
like get me started.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
For one, I'd like do a flip out.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
Of bed because I struggle getting up early.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
Did you read that five What was that book by
what's his name? Five five Am Club? The five Am Club?
Speaker 1 (49:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (49:44):
No, I have not read that, but I don't want
to because.
Speaker 2 (49:49):
That's exactly he says, jump out of bed and do
push up. So my assumption was that I thought you
read that book. That's why I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (49:56):
Don't tell me wake up at five am?
Speaker 2 (49:58):
Why are you flipping to bed?
Speaker 3 (50:00):
Because it's like it gets the blood going and it
makes me feel like, okay, I'm awake, because if I don't,
I'm like, all right, I got ten more minutes. I
need to know what lip looks like like it's just
like all right, I'll put like a lay upside down
and then just whoop, get myself up. That's how I
get out of it.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
I just want to be a fly in Garcel's room.
Let me tell you about Garcia real quick, Okay. Garcela
and I met back in twenty fourteen, and she has
been my firecro cracker since I met her, and you have, honestly,
you woke me up half of the time because the
time I didn't want to go out or do things
like that. Garcillas like, girl, what are you talking about.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
Let's go, let's go have fun, Let's go through it
like she was all about it. And honestly, I admire
people like you because you live. You show me what
it meant to live life.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
Shut the front door.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
Yeah, you showed me what it meant to live life
because you know me. Everyone knows me. I'm all about
work and getting things done and just being from my computer.
But when you would actually take me out and really
just go out, I would go out like I really
enjoyed it right.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
And be yourself. I believe that there is when it
comes to balance, you have to make it that looks
like whatever it is for you. But I think that
we can't forget to enjoy the process, celebrate the small
winds and you know, put yourself on the back for
(51:26):
failing sometimes because it takes courage to do that. And
I really think we should be having fun along the way.
You know, I really do, And it doesn't mean, you know, reckless,
irresponsible fun. I think it's just about enjoying every step.
You know, if you're riding the train to get to work,
(51:49):
you know, if there's a little kid making a joke
or stumbling or talking laugh, you know, like you know,
see appreciate the variety of people you come across every day.
Like that is enjoying and having fun even in the
smallest in the smallest ways, like when.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
You have your cuple of coffee, You're like, dage this coffee.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
Good girl, that this smell is like just waking me up.
Now do you see what I mean? Now, you guys
do understand it? Like this girl literally made me live
my life. I was like, I'm gonna end it on
this one last thing that she is making me do. Y'all.
She has made me do a sport, a spartan race.
Speaker 3 (52:24):
Yes, an obstacle course, you know all about fifteen plus obstacles.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
I'm gonna be climbing walls, rolling through mud a five K.
I thought it was a run. I was like, yeah,
I'm here. I watched the YouTube video. I gotta throw
crawl through mud and we are going to be the
only black people there.
Speaker 3 (52:40):
No we're not.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
No, we're not.
Speaker 2 (52:42):
Okay, a handful maybe, but it's gonna be a good
say in New York.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
It's gonna be a good time. And you know it's
a healthy activity. Challenge yourself and then imagine you're like
you think you can't do like the monkey bars or something,
and then you go up there, you try it and
you come out feeling unstoppable and the next thing you know,
you have a five million sponsorships.
Speaker 2 (53:03):
All right, say that way.
Speaker 3 (53:05):
Okay, okay, you say that way and that note.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
Tell everyone where they can find you.
Speaker 3 (53:10):
I mean, where can you guys find me? I mean,
you know, personal, Instagram, garsel on my bell and I'm
just there. You can reach out if the transition process right,
It's all about transforming. I mean I can chat give
tips on you know what planning looks like when you're
taking the next step being thirty.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
I don't know you want to vent.
Speaker 3 (53:32):
I'm here, but yeah you can buy me on install
and yeah, I do my best to get to everyone
as much as quick as possible. That's like the requirement
these days. Yeah, everybody needs to be instant.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
Yeah, social media, what can That's what's required of us.
I'm like, so, I do want to give a shout
out to our sponsored today out sponsors, Squerrel Taste, if
you guys haven't seen them at the bottom. It is
a hay ship in criisine catering cuisine. You make all
Haitian food and that is my mama, so she sponsored
this episode. Thanks Mom, Right, all right, you guys tune
(54:11):
in every Tuesday at eleven am. This is the new
season for the Q Talk Show. We are here for
season seven, so if you enjoyed, make sure you subscribe, like, comment, share,
tell everybody about it, and we will be back here
next week at eleven am for the lunch hour. Till later. Bye.
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