June 14, 2022 • 65 mins
It's break time! Let's talk about MENTAL HEALTH with podcast host Tay from @adoreveal2020 and @imjustsayingshow. Grab your electronics and pull up a chair as we discuss mental health and its challenges.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Attatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatata.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Well, well, well, welcome to the queue cop show.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I am very excited to be here today, you guys.
So we have Tay on. She's connecting.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I'm not sure do you guys hear me double? Because
I hear myself double, so it could just let's just
see what that is and just waiting for.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Tay to come back on. Tay are you on?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
In the meantime while she's connecting you guys, it's been
a really crazy two weeks. I honestly have just been
working like a maniac.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
But I am here today.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I still am hearing double, but I'm hoping you guys
are not hearing double on my end, so it's gonna.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Make me stop a little bit more. Hey, are you
in yet? I see you, but I don't hear you.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Well, I see your name, We don't see you yet,
nor do we hear you.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Nope, she's still connecting. Okay, cool.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
So while she is doing that, let's just give you
guys an update as to what we will be talking
about today. We are going to be talking about basically
mental health.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So we all know that COVID is not that great.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yes, it wasn't great in twenty twenty, nor is it
getting well it go it has gotten better. But in
terms of the mental health crisis, right, so we all
know when COVID started, everybody else was trying to figure
out what it is that they're going to do because
the light the world just stopped. All right, Taya is
(09:35):
coming back and now maybe she had connection era.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
We all know social media and technology and all this
world stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
But in the meantime, yeah, so we all know that
social media COVID happened and we all went into literally
a spiral. Whether some of us went up, some of
us went down, some of us knew what we wanted.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
To do, some of us were thankful for it, and
some of us smart. Hey kay, how are you honey?
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
So I was basically just touching on the mental health
and about COVID and the things that you know transpired.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
But now that you're here, welcome, beautiful lady. Please let
the world know my talkers, let them know who you are,
what you do, and welcome to the show.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
Welcome to thank you, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I was, oh I hear you forget it's me. I
hear you.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
How you doing it?
Speaker 3 (10:36):
I'm good, I'm good. We're so excited because.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I'm interested about your podcast because Adulse of rebel am
I saying it correctly.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
Adulse adult of Reveal Reveal.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
So yeah, let us know, tell us, let us know
about it, tell us about you.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Right. So I had a little being of this pandemic,
you know, and things like that, and so I actually
started the podcast at a time where we all was
just trying to figure out what we can do instead
(11:21):
of just sitting here, you know. I know, things were
definitely a little.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Different for me because.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
During the entire pandemic I still had to go to work.
I worked for a medical clinic, you know, so at
the start of it, I was going to work every day,
and then it turned into, you know, come in every
couple of days.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
It never turned.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Into, oh, you're going to work from home, so like that. No,
I didn't get I wasn't I wasn't lucky at all.
So it wasn't a situation of you know, being at
home and also trying to figure out what to do.
But I still felt like I had so much time
(12:08):
on my hands and wanted to fill it with learning
a new skill. I feel like if we survived the
pandemic and we didn't come out with a skill or
doing something that or making something or learning something, any
really wasted two and a half years of hard time.
(12:29):
If you speak to somebody and something significant that they
didn't learn to do, they really just wasted their time, right,
that is.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Right.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
So I was surrounded by I'm gonna say, two of
my family members where we all pretty much like we
were our safe haven. These are a group of people
that we always continue to meet up with. We talked
to sort our group chat, so things like that, just
(13:02):
to keep our level of insanity.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Right.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Yeah, So, I think, to be honest with you, they
pretty much inspire me to do something. Right. When you
had people here that was making soaps, making lotions, I said,
I can't do any of that. I'm not sitting here
making candles, tucking out here, buy my candle. I'm not
(13:27):
doing none of that, right, I'm not doing any telemarketing.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
I'm not telling you nothing.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
I said, let me think about what is it that
I can do that's gonna be easy for me and
also creating something that's going to be different for people
to listen to.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
And to look at right.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
So the first thing I thought of was, let me
do a podcast. That's gonna be the easiest thing for
me to do. You know, one of my jobs is
to talk to people all day, so there shouldn't be
no problem for me.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
Wait, your jobs, Well, my day job, I work in
a medical clinic.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
But what did you say? You said one of my
jobs is to walk A lot of jobs.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Is just talk talk to people all day. It create
something using that you know that I'm gonna be talking.
That was a that was a no brainer for me.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So what exactly do you do in the medical field?
What is it that for those who don't know, because you.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Know, I'm not in a medical field.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
A lot of a lot of people, a lot of people.
I don't even talk about what I do as my day.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
We're getting a cute tox exclusive.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
If you want to call it that, because I don't
talk to anybody about what I do.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
If it was up to people, they would just say.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
You know, I'm sitting on my tail or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
But my.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Day job, I work in a medical clinic. But I
work what you would consider like the social work department,
where I'm a superl as a over care managers that
care for people that need assistance. That's basically what I do,
you know. So even with that, even even though I'm
(15:12):
a supervisor, I still have a case for myself for
people that I you know that I care for the
counsel through in the system with you know ulf.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Okay, wait you else, wait your presence talkers, can you
guys hear?
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Okay? But okay, now you're back. Okay.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
So for those who didn't hear tay, she works in
medical fields. She basically helps so who need a system.
She works in the social and say for me the social.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Department, You're work in social social work department. You can
consider like social work department case management case like that. Yeah, yeah,
I'm a supervisor within the medical clinic.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
So now now that we are basically hearing mental health
and this topic is all about mental health and the
things that come with it with mental health, what would
you define for those who you know, there's a broad
spectrum of what.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Mental health people fall under the categories?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
What would be your generic definition for mental health for
those who are like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Am I mm hmmmm hmmm, I think I think we
it's it's it's not hard to define. But mental health
and and what you consider it to be is gonna
(16:49):
be different for everyone.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Okay, But.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
What what it means to me really, it's it's the
way we think, the way we act, and the way
that we feel right and if any of those items
are unbalanced right, it can cause you to have a
mental health issue. That's it. And so it's all about
(17:19):
It's all about the balancing.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
So with COVID happening, and everybody is now, so this
is how I feel, because this is what I was.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Talking about before you came on and with the COVID,
so we were all I'm going to speak for myself.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
First, I was in a mind state where I knew
what I wanted to do, but I wasn't sure what
direction I wanted to go in.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
And then COVID hit.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So with COVID hitting, that literally steered me into a
direction that I one I did not intend, and then
two it made it easier to make a decision in
terms of saying what you were saying, finding a way
to occupy myself because I didn't know how long it.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
What's going to be. Now COVID happened, it was a
great deal for me. Can not for so many people.
Other people had to try, you know, tragedies with COVID.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
For me, it worked out because allowed me to align myself,
balance myself, align my path, my plan, and then move
in that direction.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Now COVID is over.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
For people who like myself who've been working through COVID
and was grateful for COVID, I feel like those who
were grateful for COVID are now getting the post COVID
depression because now not into a routine for two years
to be able to do you know, maneuver kind of way,
and now that things.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Are opening back up, now you got to leave your
home working from home like myself. Now you got to
get back into the office or get back into the
streets or someone and so forth.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
It's actually now becoming heavier for people to try to
get back into that and you know that kind of
I would say routine. So with you being an assistance,
especially with medical health, what have you experienced in terms
of post COVID depression or post COVID issues that are
(19:10):
happening right now.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
So I'd think to that is really important to learn
who you are. And I think the struggle that people
really use is that they don't know themselves. As silly
as it may sound, you have to learn who are.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
To be able to.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Have better control of yourself and your life. Right because
I think the time, especially I could speak for myself.
When I was younger, I didn't know who I was. So,
you know, going through whatever trials, going through the tribations
and just going through life. And once you come to
(19:59):
a place of learning who you are, it assists you
with have out a control of everything now that you
get into things that's coming for you. Answer your question.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Though, Okay, answer my question. I'll piggyback after.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
To answer your question. It has the pandemic has been
easy for me because I'm an introvert. Yes, so me
being able to handle being social versus being non social,
me having to go to work every day and know
what I need to do at work. It hasn't been
(20:42):
a problem for me. So I think for those that
need so much stimulation of others, like to be out
and about, you know, every week, those are the people
that had the most difficulty because hey, but.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
For me being an introvert, it.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Now I was like, for you knowing yourself as an introvert,
how do you know if you're unwell?
Speaker 3 (21:10):
For those who do know themselves. Let's move forward.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
We know we figured out ourselves, we're now understanding our feelings.
For me, I like when people say, oh, I was
I felt depressed.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
I had a week of depression.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
It took a while for me to understand that as
myself because I didn't believe that I was depressed because
in my mind what I was taught, because I'm not
in a medical field of course, common media marketing. When
when you say the word depression, it goes into clinical
and that means medical, and that means medicine, and that
means doctors. So how do you know you as an individual?
(21:46):
How how do you know when you were unwell, like
something's not right, domb I am depressed?
Speaker 3 (21:52):
How can you get out of depression?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
And now get stuck in that.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
One of the works. One of the things that you
know you're going to know that you're not doing well
is when you know you're not yourself. You know, when
you make up and you're not feeling well and you
just don't want to do what.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
You need to do for the day.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
That's the first time that you're not doing well right,
And then what happens is it does it doesn't always
have to accorrelate to coming into clinicals. You know, we
we I think we all have had a situation where
we felt a little depressed about something. We fo a
little pressed of you know, sometimes things not going away
(22:43):
that we wanted to go, which is normal. But you
not totally crossed that over and say, oh, madam, cimically depressed.
I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
There are so many situations where we can experience these
things and initially get out of it, and then you
have us.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Oh so Tay went out, so well, wait till she reconnects.
That's probably her connection service. But oh, she's connecting now.
But she was basically talking about knowing yourself and knowing
when something is not right when you wake up in
the morning.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
If you know you're used to being one way and
you wake up the next morning something's not right. Takes back. So, yes,
finish your statement.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Yes, I don't know how I got this.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I don't know how technology right.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
So I was saying with SMI, which is when you're
diagnosed with serious mental illness, right, you know, it has
to be an amount of time and it has to
be that you are unable to get out of this yourself, right.
But I think that that's experiencing in these certain feelings
(23:52):
and thoughts and behavior in combination that we're like, whoa,
you know, this is not a regular self.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
You know. So that that really touches on something, because
now I want to touch on relationships and not being
regular selves when you're in a relationship, there are that
because I too have experienced I've dated someone who was
battling mental issues but it wasn't deep enough.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Well I'm not going to say, I don't know, I'm
not a doctor. For me, it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
I don't think it was as deep as enough for
him to see to seek medical help.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
But yet it still was bad enough to the point.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Where it did put an anchor in our relationship where
his insecurities showed and his like, you know, when he
was depressed, I felt like he wanted to bring everybody
else with him, and it just didn't like, how do
you help somebody in that situation?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
If that is your significant other?
Speaker 5 (24:52):
What do you do?
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Honey?
Speaker 5 (24:57):
It's really really no and and.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
I'm shaking my head because I've been in several relationships
level where the person experienced where the person has experienced uh,
some type of mental health. And I can say anyone
that you with that is experiencing it, if you are
(25:24):
unable to assist us. First of all, you have to
know what they're going through to even be able to
assist and to get in steare this person in the
right direction? You know? But I've experienced being with a
person that suffers from I would say manic depression, you know,
(25:46):
major depression. So I would.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Out again, let me tell you guys about technology, are right?
We are in this world of technology and.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
It's a hit and miss. Some days is good, some
days it's not. Some days it's great. Some days it's
just like who invented it?
Speaker 4 (26:04):
And why.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
That's a problem. Welcome back again to finish your statement
right right.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
So I was just I was just talking about a
situation where I was with someone that suffer from depression
and it was really hard to deal with because you
will see this person go through this, They'll be stuck
in the bed for about.
Speaker 5 (26:26):
Three days and you're like, you know.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
What can I do? I really, I really love this person.
I want to find out what is it that I
can do to assist this person to get into where
they need to be. But the harsh, the harsh reality
of it is that the person that is suffering has
to be able to take care of themselves first before
(26:49):
they can or let somebody else assist with whatever it
is that they're going through, you know, so funny, they
have to be able to help them to.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
I have a life coach that I've been seeing with
through therapy, a mix of both, and so my my
value system, that's what she she The way she does
is that going through value systems and figure out who
you are. And I my value system is people. So
I'm a people pleaser. I like to make sure everybody
(27:23):
around me is okay. So for me to be in
a relationship with somebody that is not okay, that hurts me.
I feel like I end up carrying their burden because
I want to lift it up from them, but then
that brings me down and then now I'm in their
position and I and I have to learn to separate
the two.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
But at the same time, my heart like love, like
I really love this person.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
And I don't want to see them hurt. So it's like,
how do you because you don't want to break up
with them because you don't want, you don't know what's
going to happen, and then too sometimes like you just can't.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
But it's like what do you do? Do you seek help?
Speaker 5 (28:05):
Do?
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Like?
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Who do you go to?
Speaker 5 (28:08):
What?
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Who would you advise us to go to? I should say, well.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
The first thing I'm gonna say if you two cannot
handle what is going on, because especially in a type
of relationship like that, you have to be able to
talk to the person that you're with right.
Speaker 5 (28:25):
One thing that I always say that you're always gonna
hand me say.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
A lot of people think that communication is the key,
when communication is like a little keys later. The first
thing is comprehension. If you cannot understand what I'm saying
to you, or if I can't understand what you're saying
to me, there's no way we are going to be
(28:49):
able to communicate effectively. So you hear us on our
all communication is key, It's really not. It's comprehension. I
have to be able to understand you. You have to
be able to understand what I don't like, what I
feel like we need to work on in order to
make this work, you know, and not to get too spiritual,
(29:13):
not to get to allow you to say in something
that you don't need to be in.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
You said not to get too spiritual, and then you girls.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Right not to get too spiritual. But God is never
going to allow you to be in something that you
don't need to be in. The rules are going to
fall off at some point, but during that deration you
have to move swiftly and get out of this situation
that's not well for you. And I understand, I understand
the validity of being with someone that is unwell and
(29:50):
you not knowing what to do. But in the same token,
this person is not getting well.
Speaker 5 (29:55):
And it's bringing you down. We have to have some point.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
We have to have some point of uh being able
to express how we feel. And if the things are
not changing, we're just gonna have two. We're gonna have
to to one life. There's no there's no point to
living it miserably. We don't need one. So do what
(30:22):
you need to do, do what you need to do,
and move on.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
All right, So talking about moving on, So now we're
gonna switch.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Gears and talk about anxiety. Anxiety is like this new
bad anxiety.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Listen, let me tell you one one.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Let real quick.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Look the technology better get it together. Get it together, sec.
So I'm gonna say you brought up anxiety, and I
just wanted to tell you about the statistics. So one
out of five adults, one out of five adults experience
a mental illness right, So that means if it's you
and four of your girls, one of y'all has a
(31:13):
situation where you're not mentally well, and whether it's active
or deactivated, you know what, that's it. But the actual statistics,
one out of fault is experiencing a mental illness condition.
Right when you brought up you brought up anxiety. Anxiety
(31:34):
is the number one, number one mental health disorder that
a lot of people experience. It's the number one.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Wow okay, because for me, I was like, oh my god,
this is like a new fad all of.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
A sudden, everybody is now anxious, So.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Why is it now becoming something that a lot of
people are talking about because it wasn't talked about as
much as depression and you know, bipolar or you know
all the other mental disorders, but anxiety. It was like
if someone's having an anxiety attack, for us on TV
would to show there was just someone like hyper ventilating, panicking,
(32:16):
and then that's that.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
But now that's always yes, please can you touch on the.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Many it's it's it's it's so many that we don't
have the time to review. But you have generalized anxiety,
you have panic disorders, you have social anxiety. Everybody knows
what ity is where you don't want to be around
too many people, right, but the generalize can be something
(32:42):
that is a people, place or thing that causes you anxiety.
And so to end your question on why is it
so much talked about now? The reason for that is
it's with anything, when some comes up and when people
are learning what is going on, that's what people want
(33:07):
to latch onto.
Speaker 5 (33:08):
Right, So have you never heard the world before?
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Have you never heard the world before? And that word
sounds exciting? Oh yeah, I'm that Yah, Yeah, that's that. So,
so that answers your question on why if everybody u
able to identify real anxiety and esquickly with the being
(33:31):
the number one mental health condition that people experience. You know,
that's what it is now?
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Is it number one because people really are experiencing it?
Or is it number one because of the fad where
you know, the word wasn't popular and all of a sudden.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
If the number one is because of what people experience
the most. And like I said to you, the people,
place and things, there's always going to be a people,
place and things. Think of And I don't know if
you ever experienced this yourself, but think of a person
that you know, whether it's now or in the past.
(34:10):
Every time this person would call you, every time you
would be around this person, this person gives you hell
of anxiety.
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Right.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
Think about a place that you don't like to go to,
or say something you've seen on the news. A woman
was beating rape and you lived in that neighborhood, you
going home, that would.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Give you anxiety, right, right.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
And so a certain things, a certain thing, whatever you
want to listen to that that particular thing can give
you anxiety. So that's why it's important whatever gives you
anxiety to stay away from it.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
While you continue to torture yourself.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
And I don't to be honest with you, I don't
care if it's your mother, your brother, your sister, fill
your father. If that person gives you anxiety, stay the
hell away from them.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
So I'm gonna touch on that because I just took
a mental health training this past weekend. I have to
go to this training seminar and one of the trainees
said that we're in this era of cutting people off.
Everybody's cutting people off, and it was like, or you know,
(35:28):
I'm just so that they tell me about it, tell
me about it. So the thing is the reason why
you know people, they said, unless someone is physically, emotionally
or mentally abusing you, the way that people are cutting
people off is actually dangering you better more than it's
(35:52):
bettering you, because what ends up happening it cuts off
your line of communication.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
It doesn't allow you to learn how to communicate.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
And like you said, to comprehend because people typically cut
somebody off because you know, you don't like what they say,
or you just don't feel like going back and forth
with that person and you just decide to stop talking
to them. So that was an interesting fact. But you
are absolutely right. Nonetheless, if something is making you anxious
and every time you go there, that's a form of
(36:22):
you know, mental abuse, that means something is not right,
and it's true you should cut them off.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
But at the same time, it's how we got.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
To start to figure out that line between why or
who we should be cutting off or what we should
be cutting off what do you think?
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Okay? So right, so the way I.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
Can speak for myself, the way that I want things right,
I wouldn't want to be ghosted. So I'm not going
to ghost people. But what I am going to do
is express to you how you're making me feel, and
due to that, I no longer want to talk to you.
I always do that because when you go people, you
cut people off. Depending on how that person is, it
(37:07):
can cause them to have abandonment issues and then you
don't know how they're gonna be with the next person.
So for me, I'm not I'm a promoter of if
this person is not good for you, to stay away
from them, but to cut any tide cleanly, let them
(37:27):
know and then let that be it. That way, the
person knows, they know what they did, they know how
they made you feel, and you you no longer want
them to have access to you. Right. So to me,
I'm a promoter. You know this person giving you anxiety,
they're doing X y Z, cut them off. But for me,
(37:50):
I like to tell you why you're about to be.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Cut see, and I think that's of which I like,
I'm gonna tell you why I'm about to cut you off.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
We need to follow tell you a little bit, y'all.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
That's always ask anybody. You can ask anybody to cut off.
I'll let them know I'm cutting you off and the
reason why I'm a nice person. But no, I'm lying.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
I'm not a nice person.
Speaker 5 (38:20):
But I'm gonna let you.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
I don't ever want you to not know what I'm
thinking about you or how I'm telling about you. So
I'm gonna tell you that way, you know, and then
there's no you know, there's no great area.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
For you to wonder what that person thinks about me.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
I wonder you know how they feel.
Speaker 5 (38:39):
I'm gonna let you know.
Speaker 4 (38:41):
But that way you can sit with the reality and
not the fiction.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Not the reality and not the fiction. Oh god, all right?
Speaker 2 (38:51):
So for those who are suffering from mental health, who
do you recommend, whether the lines that you recommend for
someone to call, or whether some things that you recommend
someone should do if they feel a sense of depression
or anxiety either or so?
Speaker 4 (39:08):
Right? So tough, especially for people of color. Right, I
feel like I feel like people of color we don't
know where to go or what to do to maintain
our mental health. I think it's just started being active
(39:29):
now where people of color UH don't mind reaching out
to a mental health professionals. Right, And so even with that,
I've noticed people are will reach out but won't continue
the treats that the UH like.
Speaker 5 (39:47):
They won't continue their treatment plans.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
They'll do a few sessions, they'll say, oh, this doesn't
work for me, and then you know, try to figure
things out.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
It's weird cut you off real quick. Why do you
think that though? What do you think are the reasons
why they're not completing fully through?
Speaker 4 (40:03):
Oh, with so many reasons we can go through reasons.
Of course, you don't want to pay for that, Like
you rather get your lit gloss from Sophora than to
pay for mental health treatment. You know, the fellow want
to get his joint is instead of paying the therapist
to assist with his mental health well being. You know,
(40:24):
it's so many factors on why we continue, and then
we don't give it a chance.
Speaker 5 (40:30):
Yeap.
Speaker 4 (40:31):
That could be another thing too, We don't give it
a chance to see if it's gonna work, and we
just cut it off. Yeah, so's it's someause on why
we don't continue. But I'm just gonna say to maintain
the mental health and well being.
Speaker 5 (40:47):
Uh, here's a few tips. Right. Uh.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
Sometimes we don't know where to start, and we just
get stuck in this thing of you know, I'm mentally unwell,
mentally unwell, I don't know where to start. I don't
want to share it with my parents, with my friends
and my family. Right. Another thing too, you have to
realize sometimes people don't care what you're going through. They
(41:11):
really don't. They have their own things going on, so
how are they going to have the time to take
on yours? Right, And we have to come to the
conclusion of who we're able to talk to. Right. There
are people I have a lot of educating and smart friends,
(41:35):
but those people I can't call them. I can't call
them when when I'm going through something or when you know,
one of these mental health us and one of them
is activated. I can't call my friend and say, oh,
you know, this is what happened feeling this way. You know,
I can rarely do that because on the other end, too,
(41:58):
there's nothing that a person can say sometimes to soothe you.
Speaker 5 (42:03):
So you have to work.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
You have to work on these things yourself to continue
to maintain your mental health and well being.
Speaker 5 (42:14):
Right.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
You have to your head now.
Speaker 4 (42:21):
That it comes with a lot of happiness. Right, So
it comes with a lot of happiness, enjoy that. You
can't get these things from others. You have to create
it for yourself.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
Right. So here here, here a few tips.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
Spend time with friends and family that you have a
good time with.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Right.
Speaker 4 (42:41):
There's a lot of the there's probably a lot of
friends you have. You don't want to spend your time
with them. Time with the people that bring you joy.
You're bringing the joy already, you bringing the joy and
the happiness to the table.
Speaker 5 (42:55):
These people are.
Speaker 4 (42:56):
Just extra for that, right, So make time and made
plans to spend time with people, uh that contribute to that.
That's a part of had of social and mental health
well being. Right, talk about and express your feelings regularly.
This is a problem a lot.
Speaker 5 (43:18):
Of people have.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
Myself, I don't are yourself and that.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
Let me tell you why that's unhealthy. Que Let me
tell you because if you are thinking and feeling a
way about someone or a thing, right, if you're keeping
that in, you're the only person that knows how how
am I gonna know.
Speaker 5 (43:47):
How to treat you better?
Speaker 4 (43:49):
Or there's something that I said that you don't like
and you don't tell me how are we going to
work on fixing this and making you feel better?
Speaker 1 (43:59):
So here's you.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Are you sitting, you upset about something I said to
keep it in for weeks? You fuming, and I don't
know how am I going to know? If you don't
talk and express your feelings regularly. When people do that,
let me tell you in lame terms, that's a form
of constipation. So why are we continuing to constipate ourselves
(44:23):
with our thoughts and the other person doesn't know what?
Speaker 5 (44:27):
Tell me what sence does that make?
Speaker 3 (44:30):
It's so true?
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something,
and I can I can speak for my own personal
experience with I have a lot of siblings, over ten sensiblings, right, Okay,
you have some of these people that are holding things
in that our parents did to them when they were six, seven,
(44:51):
ten years old.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
Instead of you just go telling.
Speaker 4 (44:54):
The fool you know, how is how is this person
going to know that this action from so many years
ago has a second in your entire life? Wow, that's
I'm gonna say. That's the number one tip. Express to
people how you feel.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Number one?
Speaker 4 (45:13):
What number one? Then let's just raise them up to
number one, because that's that's that's dumping.
Speaker 5 (45:21):
That's dumping.
Speaker 4 (45:21):
How am I gonna sit with all these feelings and
the other person don't even know? A closed mouth is
never gonna get said? How are you gonna eat and
get what you need? If you're not expressing the way
that you feel? Please make it make sense to me.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
That's my saying. You know, close mouth, don't get back.
You tell people that they be like, oh I wish
I could have like did you open it? But while
preaching to a choir, and I gotta tell that to myself.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Close my don't get back you you hear me?
Speaker 4 (45:47):
All right? But another thing reducing the alcohol assumption reducing Yes, yes,
yes you have to reduce it.
Speaker 3 (46:05):
But okay, okay, now why is that who you have?
Speaker 4 (46:14):
It really correlates to it because once you come off
of uh that's pretty much high of drinking, uh possible hangover,
you back to square one. So your your your chemistry
when you put too much of that substance in it
(46:35):
can also cause you to continue to go down to sporrow,
you know. So it's it's alcohol and illicit drugs. Let's
not get into let's not get into the single why.
That's a whole other episode.
Speaker 5 (46:48):
Why people.
Speaker 4 (46:50):
That's a whole other episode on why people like to
use drugs. A lot of people like to use drugs
because they don't want to be here on earth.
Speaker 5 (46:58):
They want to take them home and to.
Speaker 4 (46:59):
Go out, to go out and all spare you the listen, drugs.
You know we're in turn that that can also cause
a mental health condition, so you got to be careful
with that. It's okay to have a little fun, you
want a party, Try not to uh so much? Okay, right,
(47:26):
Keeping active, keeping active and eating well. There's a lot
of people that don't eat well. There's a lot of
people that want to go through wind that want to
go to Windy's, want to go to McDonald's. You don't drink,
no water, no food. You want you're wondering why you
smell like a whole old pair of house keys because
(47:47):
you don't eat well. It's very important. Listen, listen. I
don't like exercising, but I know that it's important to
do I don't y'all.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
Yeah, I was up here with it.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
Listen. I do it because I need to, not because
I love to. And if that's going to contribute to
me being mentally well. I'm going to continue to be active, amen,
right because I know, because I know that that's a
step that I have to take. I don't love exercises,
but I know that I have to do it.
Speaker 5 (48:25):
But because it contributes to my well being and to
my health.
Speaker 4 (48:31):
Eating well, Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
I did want to real quick. I had to comments
from my viewers.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
One of them said that our community does have a
stigma with seeing a therapist, and another commentor said, you're
speaking the truth.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
It is true. Understanding is the most of the challenge.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
That is true, right, But continue with your yeah, so
all right, so.
Speaker 4 (49:02):
And then we'll get back to those kinds. But keeping active,
eating well, you have to do it.
Speaker 5 (49:08):
You have to do it.
Speaker 4 (49:09):
You have to think of where the fast food comes from.
All of the ingredients that are in it can also
contribute to you not being well, and so when you
eat well, it's going to contribute to your well being.
Speaker 5 (49:27):
Setting realistic goals.
Speaker 4 (49:31):
And if somebody that say, oh I want to do this,
I want to do that, I want to do this,
I want to.
Speaker 5 (49:34):
Do that, but you didn't start from where you have
to start.
Speaker 4 (49:39):
To achieve those things that you're thinking. So set realistic goals,
which is going to help you maintain your mental health
and your well being. The last part, because the list
is long, but the last and the most important is
get enough sleep. You have people to it's always up
(50:00):
during the midnight hour. Let me tell you one thing
about me, and that's that that's why you know you
will You're not gonna see me with no bad one
that I have my phone. I have my phone set
to wind down at ninety five for me to get
into bed by ten pm, ten pm. My phone is
(50:24):
cut off. My phone is from Monday to Thursday ten pm,
I'm in the bed. The only other time is when
I'm going to the podcast on Tuesday. You know I'm
in the I'm in the bed a little late. But
other than that, my phone is set nine forty five
(50:45):
to get into bed.
Speaker 5 (50:46):
If you get enough sleep, that's a contribute you.
Speaker 4 (50:52):
Healing and good to be all night. For you to
be up on your phone talling, scrolling through you know
you have to stop doing that and get some sleep
to contribute to your mental health well being. It's good.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Sorry, real quick, let's start just run through your five
numbers real quick, so we can let this out. So
Number one, communicate your feelings, express yourself correct right.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
Talk talk about and express yourself regularly. Don't wait months
later and say, hey, Q, you remember when you said
in February. No, it's we we can't even address it now.
Speaker 5 (51:38):
Let it take a day or two. Don't don't let
that thing stretch over week.
Speaker 4 (51:42):
Express yourself regularly on how people are making you feel
and certain things that are happening. How you know how it.
Speaker 5 (51:51):
Is making you feel.
Speaker 4 (51:52):
That's the only way that you're gonna work on it.
If you don't do that, or you're gonna do what
you're gonna do is contimpate yourself with your thoughts, right,
and then you're gonna explode on the wrong person. You
on the wrong. So let's work on expressing ourselves regularly
and telling people how we feel and how they're making
(52:14):
us feel. Spend time with your friends and your family
that bring you happiness, enjoy. Not all the friends we
have make us happy, you know they're there for whatever
reason that they're there, But those that you know that
you have a.
Speaker 5 (52:28):
Good time with, cool to be.
Speaker 4 (52:32):
With them often. Right. Number three, lower that alcohol and
that are listed drum use. Let's lower it because if
you continue and continue to do that, it will cause
you to develop a mental health disorder. Will definitely reduce that.
Another thing, setting realistic goals. Set your goals to be realistic,
(52:57):
you have to start from the bottom to rea the top.
Speaker 5 (53:00):
Right, Man, you can't just wake up.
Speaker 4 (53:02):
You can't just wake up one day and say, oh,
I'm going to be a million here. No, there's double
steps that you have to take in order for you
to get to what you want to achieve.
Speaker 5 (53:13):
And the last thing, and the last thing is get
enough sleep.
Speaker 4 (53:22):
We have to go to bed. Why are you walk
three o'clock in the morning scrawling through Instagram and Facebook?
What is what is there for you? Is?
Speaker 5 (53:30):
What is there for you?
Speaker 4 (53:31):
When you could be drinking water, eating a piece of fruit,
reading a book and take your tail to bed?
Speaker 2 (53:38):
No lie on Instagram, for I can literally take this
sound right and just put you on TikTok and just how.
Speaker 3 (53:45):
You know when you scrolling, be like, go to bed?
Speaker 4 (53:47):
What is right?
Speaker 2 (53:49):
Right?
Speaker 4 (53:50):
Literally?
Speaker 5 (53:55):
Bed?
Speaker 4 (53:57):
There?
Speaker 3 (53:57):
We got the sound. Let our followers know.
Speaker 2 (54:02):
Day, you guys have a deserves now for our followers,
our talkers who are interested in exploring more in these
steps or maybe learning a little bit more of.
Speaker 3 (54:11):
The other steps that you have listed. Let us know
where can they find you?
Speaker 4 (54:16):
Well, I don't do too much of us talking on anywhere.
Oh I do, And I am gonna listen, I am.
I am gonna start it up this stuffing you you
know how these things are you know when there's so
many logistics and you're not you know, you're not mentally.
Speaker 5 (54:34):
To do these things and have.
Speaker 4 (54:36):
These conversations with people.
Speaker 3 (54:39):
You know.
Speaker 4 (54:39):
But I plan on coming back this summer like and
giving y'all more stories and more topics uh to listen to.
But on the things that I currently have now, I
don't do too much of us talking, but I'm definitely
free uh to talk to people if they need to
know you know where to go and want to do
(55:00):
and want to start.
Speaker 5 (55:01):
I give that for free.
Speaker 4 (55:04):
I'm not I'm not. If you say to me, hey,
I want to be mentally well, I want to figure
out you know.
Speaker 5 (55:12):
What it is I need to do, I'm going to
give that to you for free.
Speaker 2 (55:16):
And y'all have a Q Talks exclusive free talk with
Tay if y'all need to get mentally well.
Speaker 4 (55:22):
Wait wait, wait, not talk just ask me a question
and I'm going to direct you to where you need
to go. That is, I'm not sitting I'm not sitting
on no phone on the line with nobody, but definitely
I'll give you a link to something or someplace that
I know where you can start, because that's what we
(55:44):
go through a lot. We were just sitting there dealing
with whatever we're dealing with and we don't know where
to start.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
That that's the problem. It's the starting point. Well, now
that we started with us, so you are weekly everych
who say on I'm just saying podcast show, and also
how often do you do your podcast so people can
tune in and view? So every Tuesday we're tuning in
(56:10):
on Twitch, I'm just saying show, and on Instagram and
everything right, Yes to come see Tay, you have to
listen to her because.
Speaker 4 (56:20):
I'm just I'm just I'm just saying show goes with
my friends over there, Kevin and hl. You know, I
think a lot of people. I think a lot of
people don't know that I've known Kevin for over ten years.
He was he was actually my worker. No, me and
(56:42):
Kevin want to to hell facility plays and we just
stay friends. You know this entire time, and I'm at
HL through him and we're just like to be honest
with you. We're just like a little family.
Speaker 3 (56:58):
It's very cute. I've been on their show, and they
make you very comfortable.
Speaker 2 (57:03):
It's very funny, entertaining, especially when tabe her shocking first
out comments.
Speaker 5 (57:11):
But yes, please all.
Speaker 2 (57:15):
Always, always, so please tune in every Tuesday to tune
into her and your podcast. How often are you doing it?
Are you go just I guess follow you and then wait.
Speaker 4 (57:26):
I just I just yeah, they can just follow me
over there at a NOSA field. I also have like
that I'm not gonna a lot of that I don't
work on. It's called the dosub Reveal dot org, where
you can go on there and you can listen to
every episode that I've done and also see the transfers
(57:49):
of uh the explanation of the episodes. I think that
uh they're going to be most important to those that
want to listen to or have experienced U certain things
with the titles that you see there. And I just
want to be able to continue to create that content
(58:11):
UH that people can't find or UH talks that people
don't talk a lot about and so mental health is
one of them that we do stare away from discussing.
Speaker 5 (58:25):
And really wanting.
Speaker 4 (58:27):
To learn the logistics of it, which is very important.
You know, a mental health disorder is really considered a
disease and it can be in the same category as
one have a diabetes. Wow, which.
Speaker 5 (58:50):
For you to be able to treat your.
Speaker 4 (58:51):
Mental health and that same way taking medication.
Speaker 2 (58:59):
Important to you said that mental health is similar to
having diabetes, and then it went.
Speaker 4 (59:06):
Out, I said, diabetes and hypertension. You have to treat
those conditions. Yeah, m hm, right, un having a better
life and health, you know. And it's the same thing
(59:28):
with substance use disorder. A lot of people think, oh,
you know, to this drug because they want to be
at some point of subs abuse disorder is really a disease.
It's really a disease of the brain. And the only
way that we are going to be able to get.
Speaker 5 (59:48):
Out of these things is that we have to work.
Speaker 4 (59:51):
On them daily. We have to work on them daily.
So there's a lot of people that are on medication.
There's a lot of people that are on their medication right,
and it has to be what what assist you with
balancing your life the best way that you can, right,
So I don't I don't promote, I don't promote medications, noe.
(01:00:18):
UH to help them become balanced. Again, that's all of
this is let's talk about the latistics of UH mental health.
These things are genetics. These things some things that you're doing,
they create. UH mental health is environmental. You're in a
(01:00:39):
certain environment. That's what's.
Speaker 5 (01:00:44):
So.
Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
These are things that you gotta work on daily to
get yourself out of right. Sometimes there are people that
do need it to balance themselves back. Don't have to
be on the medication forever, but there are some points
that you need in order to be able to maintain
(01:01:05):
a daily living, to get yourself to do the things
that you need to do to contribute to your own life.
Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
That I am so informed and so happy that I
was able to have this conversation with you, especially that
I didn't know your background was fully in the mental
health aspect.
Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
I thought it was just more so with just.
Speaker 4 (01:01:27):
A yeah, listen, I know, I know I play around
a lot, because you know, life.
Speaker 5 (01:01:36):
Is so serious anyway.
Speaker 4 (01:01:39):
I like to joke around, But I have been in
the mental health field. I'm gonna say over fifteen years right.
And it's a passion for me to be able to
assist of people, you know, assist people with being mentally well,
that's a passion of my It doesn't make the best money,
(01:02:02):
doesn't make the most.
Speaker 5 (01:02:03):
Money, but.
Speaker 4 (01:02:06):
And fulfilling to do. You know. I feel like when
I I feel like when I was an undergrad and
I went to uh complete my degree in psychology, I said, oh,
you know what, I'm going to be a psychologist. Then
I said, nah, I can't. I can't sit here and
listen to people problems all day.
Speaker 5 (01:02:25):
So I just get off.
Speaker 4 (01:02:26):
I just get off to doing something else. You know.
I sometimes I feel like I abandoned.
Speaker 5 (01:02:32):
You know, I.
Speaker 4 (01:02:36):
Decided not to continue my education in psychiatry, But it
was for myself. I said, I can't sit here and
listen to people problems.
Speaker 5 (01:02:45):
All day, so I just.
Speaker 4 (01:02:47):
Wound up doing something else.
Speaker 5 (01:02:48):
But I just do the same thing with just a
little touch of it.
Speaker 3 (01:02:52):
Yeah, you just got just a little sprinkle, you know.
Speaker 5 (01:02:58):
It's really it's really rewarded for me.
Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
Well, I believe you are in your chosen path because
you have shed a lot of light on the topic
of mental health for myself and my talkers especially with
them commenting on Facebook and self.
Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
So I am grateful to have.
Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
You as a guest. We would love to have you
again for sure, and I plan on having talk with you,
you guys, because.
Speaker 3 (01:03:20):
I want to know if I have all together. Yeah,
I'm here, you know me. This is all I do.
Speaker 5 (01:03:26):
Run.
Speaker 2 (01:03:27):
But so for my talkers who are listening, please be
sure to follow say Adoca Revel twenty twenty.
Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
I keep saying reveal twenty times. I don't know, I
don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:03:44):
It is a dose, is a dose of revealed. And
the reason why is that because and it's goes back
to you and you hold and everything in. You cannot
heal from anything that you do not reveal. So you
understand that you cannot heal from things that you don't reveal.
(01:04:05):
If I don't know, if I don't know what's hurting you,
how am I going to help you?
Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
Honestly, I used to be better with expressing myself. Then
I stop expressing myself.
Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
But then now I'm starting to express myself a lot more,
and I feel a lot better, I'll tell you that much.
It's a lot more weight off my shoulders. I've been
giving phone calls like, hey, let's talk real quick. I'm
ready to talk now, but I needed to cleanse. I
had to get me together first. I had to get
me balanced. Before you know, I go in and then
I'm like toppled over.
Speaker 3 (01:04:35):
But that was you're right.
Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
If you don't if I don't speak, how would they know?
They're not in my head, they're not here. So for
my talkers who are listening, make sure you take that's
one of the biggest giveaway. Make sure you.
Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
Express yourself for surely. All right, well, thank you for
coming on the show. Thank you for your break with us.
All right, yeah, all right, tell lady you guys.
Speaker 4 (01:04:59):
Bye in Kio, bah bah
Attatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatata.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Well, well, well, welcome to the queue cop show.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I am very excited to be here today, you guys.
So we have Tay on. She's connecting.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I'm not sure do you guys hear me double? Because
I hear myself double, so it could just let's just
see what that is and just waiting for.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Tay to come back on. Tay are you on?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
In the meantime while she's connecting you guys, it's been
a really crazy two weeks. I honestly have just been
working like a maniac.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
But I am here today.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I still am hearing double, but I'm hoping you guys
are not hearing double on my end, so it's gonna.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Make me stop a little bit more. Hey, are you
in yet? I see you, but I don't hear you.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Well, I see your name, We don't see you yet,
nor do we hear you.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Nope, she's still connecting. Okay, cool.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
So while she is doing that, let's just give you
guys an update as to what we will be talking
about today. We are going to be talking about basically
mental health.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So we all know that COVID is not that great.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yes, it wasn't great in twenty twenty, nor is it
getting well it go it has gotten better. But in
terms of the mental health crisis, right, so we all
know when COVID started, everybody else was trying to figure
out what it is that they're going to do because
the light the world just stopped. All right, Taya is
(09:35):
coming back and now maybe she had connection era.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
We all know social media and technology and all this
world stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
But in the meantime, yeah, so we all know that
social media COVID happened and we all went into literally
a spiral. Whether some of us went up, some of
us went down, some of us knew what we wanted.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
To do, some of us were thankful for it, and
some of us smart. Hey kay, how are you honey?
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
So I was basically just touching on the mental health
and about COVID and the things that you know transpired.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
But now that you're here, welcome, beautiful lady. Please let
the world know my talkers, let them know who you are,
what you do, and welcome to the show.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
Welcome to thank you, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I was, oh I hear you forget it's me. I
hear you.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
How you doing it?
Speaker 3 (10:36):
I'm good, I'm good. We're so excited because.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I'm interested about your podcast because Adulse of rebel am
I saying it correctly.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
Adulse adult of Reveal Reveal.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
So yeah, let us know, tell us, let us know
about it, tell us about you.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Right. So I had a little being of this pandemic,
you know, and things like that, and so I actually
started the podcast at a time where we all was
just trying to figure out what we can do instead
(11:21):
of just sitting here, you know. I know, things were
definitely a little.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Different for me because.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
During the entire pandemic I still had to go to work.
I worked for a medical clinic, you know, so at
the start of it, I was going to work every day,
and then it turned into, you know, come in every
couple of days.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
It never turned.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Into, oh, you're going to work from home, so like that. No,
I didn't get I wasn't I wasn't lucky at all.
So it wasn't a situation of you know, being at
home and also trying to figure out what to do.
But I still felt like I had so much time
(12:08):
on my hands and wanted to fill it with learning
a new skill. I feel like if we survived the
pandemic and we didn't come out with a skill or
doing something that or making something or learning something, any
really wasted two and a half years of hard time.
(12:29):
If you speak to somebody and something significant that they
didn't learn to do, they really just wasted their time, right,
that is.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Right.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
So I was surrounded by I'm gonna say, two of
my family members where we all pretty much like we
were our safe haven. These are a group of people
that we always continue to meet up with. We talked
to sort our group chat, so things like that, just
(13:02):
to keep our level of insanity.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Right.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Yeah, So, I think, to be honest with you, they
pretty much inspire me to do something. Right. When you
had people here that was making soaps, making lotions, I said,
I can't do any of that. I'm not sitting here
making candles, tucking out here, buy my candle. I'm not
(13:27):
doing none of that, right, I'm not doing any telemarketing.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
I'm not telling you nothing.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
I said, let me think about what is it that
I can do that's gonna be easy for me and
also creating something that's going to be different for people
to listen to.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
And to look at right.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
So the first thing I thought of was, let me
do a podcast. That's gonna be the easiest thing for
me to do. You know, one of my jobs is
to talk to people all day, so there shouldn't be
no problem for me.
Speaker 5 (13:58):
Wait, your jobs, Well, my day job, I work in
a medical clinic.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
But what did you say? You said one of my
jobs is to walk A lot of jobs.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Is just talk talk to people all day. It create
something using that you know that I'm gonna be talking.
That was a that was a no brainer for me.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So what exactly do you do in the medical field?
What is it that for those who don't know, because you.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Know, I'm not in a medical field.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
A lot of a lot of people, a lot of people.
I don't even talk about what I do as my day.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
We're getting a cute tox exclusive.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
If you want to call it that, because I don't
talk to anybody about what I do.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
If it was up to people, they would just say.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
You know, I'm sitting on my tail or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
But my.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Day job, I work in a medical clinic. But I
work what you would consider like the social work department,
where I'm a superl as a over care managers that
care for people that need assistance. That's basically what I do,
you know. So even with that, even even though I'm
(15:12):
a supervisor, I still have a case for myself for
people that I you know that I care for the
counsel through in the system with you know ulf.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Okay, wait you else, wait your presence talkers, can you
guys hear?
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Okay? But okay, now you're back. Okay.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
So for those who didn't hear tay, she works in
medical fields. She basically helps so who need a system.
She works in the social and say for me the social.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Department, You're work in social social work department. You can
consider like social work department case management case like that. Yeah, yeah,
I'm a supervisor within the medical clinic.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
So now now that we are basically hearing mental health
and this topic is all about mental health and the
things that come with it with mental health, what would
you define for those who you know, there's a broad
spectrum of what.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Mental health people fall under the categories?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
What would be your generic definition for mental health for
those who are like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Am I mm hmmmm hmmm, I think I think we
it's it's it's not hard to define. But mental health
and and what you consider it to be is gonna
(16:49):
be different for everyone.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Okay, But.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
What what it means to me really, it's it's the
way we think, the way we act, and the way
that we feel right and if any of those items
are unbalanced right, it can cause you to have a
mental health issue. That's it. And so it's all about
(17:19):
It's all about the balancing.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
So with COVID happening, and everybody is now, so this
is how I feel, because this is what I was.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Talking about before you came on and with the COVID,
so we were all I'm going to speak for myself.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
First, I was in a mind state where I knew
what I wanted to do, but I wasn't sure what
direction I wanted to go in.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
And then COVID hit.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So with COVID hitting, that literally steered me into a
direction that I one I did not intend, and then
two it made it easier to make a decision in
terms of saying what you were saying, finding a way
to occupy myself because I didn't know how long it.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
What's going to be. Now COVID happened, it was a
great deal for me. Can not for so many people.
Other people had to try, you know, tragedies with COVID.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
For me, it worked out because allowed me to align myself,
balance myself, align my path, my plan, and then move
in that direction.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Now COVID is over.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
For people who like myself who've been working through COVID
and was grateful for COVID, I feel like those who
were grateful for COVID are now getting the post COVID
depression because now not into a routine for two years
to be able to do you know, maneuver kind of way,
and now that things.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Are opening back up, now you got to leave your
home working from home like myself. Now you got to
get back into the office or get back into the
streets or someone and so forth.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
It's actually now becoming heavier for people to try to
get back into that and you know that kind of
I would say routine. So with you being an assistance,
especially with medical health, what have you experienced in terms
of post COVID depression or post COVID issues that are
(19:10):
happening right now.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
So I'd think to that is really important to learn
who you are. And I think the struggle that people
really use is that they don't know themselves. As silly
as it may sound, you have to learn who are.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
To be able to.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Have better control of yourself and your life. Right because
I think the time, especially I could speak for myself.
When I was younger, I didn't know who I was. So,
you know, going through whatever trials, going through the tribations
and just going through life. And once you come to
(19:59):
a place of learning who you are, it assists you
with have out a control of everything now that you
get into things that's coming for you. Answer your question.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Though, Okay, answer my question. I'll piggyback after.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
To answer your question. It has the pandemic has been
easy for me because I'm an introvert. Yes, so me
being able to handle being social versus being non social,
me having to go to work every day and know
what I need to do at work. It hasn't been
(20:42):
a problem for me. So I think for those that
need so much stimulation of others, like to be out
and about, you know, every week, those are the people
that had the most difficulty because hey, but.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
For me being an introvert, it.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Now I was like, for you knowing yourself as an introvert,
how do you know if you're unwell?
Speaker 3 (21:10):
For those who do know themselves. Let's move forward.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
We know we figured out ourselves, we're now understanding our feelings.
For me, I like when people say, oh, I was
I felt depressed.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
I had a week of depression.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
It took a while for me to understand that as
myself because I didn't believe that I was depressed because
in my mind what I was taught, because I'm not
in a medical field of course, common media marketing. When
when you say the word depression, it goes into clinical
and that means medical, and that means medicine, and that
means doctors. So how do you know you as an individual?
(21:46):
How how do you know when you were unwell, like
something's not right, domb I am depressed?
Speaker 3 (21:52):
How can you get out of depression?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
And now get stuck in that.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
One of the works. One of the things that you
know you're going to know that you're not doing well
is when you know you're not yourself. You know, when
you make up and you're not feeling well and you
just don't want to do what.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
You need to do for the day.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
That's the first time that you're not doing well right,
And then what happens is it does it doesn't always
have to accorrelate to coming into clinicals. You know, we
we I think we all have had a situation where
we felt a little depressed about something. We fo a
little pressed of you know, sometimes things not going away
(22:43):
that we wanted to go, which is normal. But you
not totally crossed that over and say, oh, madam, cimically depressed.
I'm not going to be able to get out of this.
There are so many situations where we can experience these
things and initially get out of it, and then you
have us.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Oh so Tay went out, so well, wait till she reconnects.
That's probably her connection service. But oh, she's connecting now.
But she was basically talking about knowing yourself and knowing
when something is not right when you wake up in
the morning.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
If you know you're used to being one way and
you wake up the next morning something's not right. Takes back. So, yes,
finish your statement.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Yes, I don't know how I got this.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I don't know how technology right.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
So I was saying with SMI, which is when you're
diagnosed with serious mental illness, right, you know, it has
to be an amount of time and it has to
be that you are unable to get out of this yourself, right.
But I think that that's experiencing in these certain feelings
(23:52):
and thoughts and behavior in combination that we're like, whoa,
you know, this is not a regular self.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
You know. So that that really touches on something, because
now I want to touch on relationships and not being
regular selves when you're in a relationship, there are that
because I too have experienced I've dated someone who was
battling mental issues but it wasn't deep enough.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Well I'm not going to say, I don't know, I'm
not a doctor. For me, it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
I don't think it was as deep as enough for
him to see to seek medical help.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
But yet it still was bad enough to the point.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Where it did put an anchor in our relationship where
his insecurities showed and his like, you know, when he
was depressed, I felt like he wanted to bring everybody
else with him, and it just didn't like, how do
you help somebody in that situation?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
If that is your significant other?
Speaker 5 (24:52):
What do you do?
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Honey?
Speaker 5 (24:57):
It's really really no and and.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
I'm shaking my head because I've been in several relationships
level where the person experienced where the person has experienced uh,
some type of mental health. And I can say anyone
that you with that is experiencing it, if you are
(25:24):
unable to assist us. First of all, you have to
know what they're going through to even be able to
assist and to get in steare this person in the
right direction? You know? But I've experienced being with a
person that suffers from I would say manic depression, you know,
(25:46):
major depression. So I would.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Out again, let me tell you guys about technology, are right?
We are in this world of technology and.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
It's a hit and miss. Some days is good, some
days it's not. Some days it's great. Some days it's
just like who invented it?
Speaker 4 (26:04):
And why.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
That's a problem. Welcome back again to finish your statement
right right.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
So I was just I was just talking about a
situation where I was with someone that suffer from depression
and it was really hard to deal with because you
will see this person go through this, They'll be stuck
in the bed for about.
Speaker 5 (26:26):
Three days and you're like, you know.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
What can I do? I really, I really love this person.
I want to find out what is it that I
can do to assist this person to get into where
they need to be. But the harsh, the harsh reality
of it is that the person that is suffering has
to be able to take care of themselves first before
(26:49):
they can or let somebody else assist with whatever it
is that they're going through, you know, so funny, they
have to be able to help them to.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
I have a life coach that I've been seeing with
through therapy, a mix of both, and so my my
value system, that's what she she The way she does
is that going through value systems and figure out who
you are. And I my value system is people. So
I'm a people pleaser. I like to make sure everybody
(27:23):
around me is okay. So for me to be in
a relationship with somebody that is not okay, that hurts me.
I feel like I end up carrying their burden because
I want to lift it up from them, but then
that brings me down and then now I'm in their
position and I and I have to learn to separate
the two.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
But at the same time, my heart like love, like
I really love this person.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
And I don't want to see them hurt. So it's like,
how do you because you don't want to break up
with them because you don't want, you don't know what's
going to happen, and then too sometimes like you just can't.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
But it's like what do you do? Do you seek help?
Speaker 5 (28:05):
Do?
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Like?
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Who do you go to?
Speaker 5 (28:08):
What?
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Who would you advise us to go to? I should say, well.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
The first thing I'm gonna say if you two cannot
handle what is going on, because especially in a type
of relationship like that, you have to be able to
talk to the person that you're with right.
Speaker 5 (28:25):
One thing that I always say that you're always gonna
hand me say.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
A lot of people think that communication is the key,
when communication is like a little keys later. The first
thing is comprehension. If you cannot understand what I'm saying
to you, or if I can't understand what you're saying
to me, there's no way we are going to be
(28:49):
able to communicate effectively. So you hear us on our
all communication is key, It's really not. It's comprehension. I
have to be able to understand you. You have to
be able to understand what I don't like, what I
feel like we need to work on in order to
make this work, you know, and not to get too spiritual,
(29:13):
not to get to allow you to say in something
that you don't need to be in.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
You said not to get too spiritual, and then you girls.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Right not to get too spiritual. But God is never
going to allow you to be in something that you
don't need to be in. The rules are going to
fall off at some point, but during that deration you
have to move swiftly and get out of this situation
that's not well for you. And I understand, I understand
the validity of being with someone that is unwell and
(29:50):
you not knowing what to do. But in the same token,
this person is not getting well.
Speaker 5 (29:55):
And it's bringing you down. We have to have some point.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
We have to have some point of uh being able
to express how we feel. And if the things are
not changing, we're just gonna have two. We're gonna have
to to one life. There's no there's no point to
living it miserably. We don't need one. So do what
(30:22):
you need to do, do what you need to do,
and move on.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
All right, So talking about moving on, So now we're
gonna switch.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
Gears and talk about anxiety. Anxiety is like this new
bad anxiety.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Listen, let me tell you one one.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Let real quick.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Look the technology better get it together. Get it together, sec.
So I'm gonna say you brought up anxiety, and I
just wanted to tell you about the statistics. So one
out of five adults, one out of five adults experience
a mental illness right, So that means if it's you
and four of your girls, one of y'all has a
(31:13):
situation where you're not mentally well, and whether it's active
or deactivated, you know what, that's it. But the actual statistics,
one out of fault is experiencing a mental illness condition.
Right when you brought up you brought up anxiety. Anxiety
(31:34):
is the number one, number one mental health disorder that
a lot of people experience. It's the number one.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Wow okay, because for me, I was like, oh my god,
this is like a new fad all of.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
A sudden, everybody is now anxious, So.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Why is it now becoming something that a lot of
people are talking about because it wasn't talked about as
much as depression and you know, bipolar or you know
all the other mental disorders, but anxiety. It was like
if someone's having an anxiety attack, for us on TV
would to show there was just someone like hyper ventilating, panicking,
(32:16):
and then that's that.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
But now that's always yes, please can you touch on the.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Many it's it's it's it's so many that we don't
have the time to review. But you have generalized anxiety,
you have panic disorders, you have social anxiety. Everybody knows
what ity is where you don't want to be around
too many people, right, but the generalize can be something
(32:42):
that is a people, place or thing that causes you anxiety.
And so to end your question on why is it
so much talked about now? The reason for that is
it's with anything, when some comes up and when people
are learning what is going on, that's what people want
(33:07):
to latch onto.
Speaker 5 (33:08):
Right, So have you never heard the world before?
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Have you never heard the world before? And that word
sounds exciting? Oh yeah, I'm that Yah, Yeah, that's that. So,
so that answers your question on why if everybody u
able to identify real anxiety and esquickly with the being
(33:31):
the number one mental health condition that people experience. You know,
that's what it is now?
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Is it number one because people really are experiencing it?
Or is it number one because of the fad where
you know, the word wasn't popular and all of a sudden.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
If the number one is because of what people experience
the most. And like I said to you, the people,
place and things, there's always going to be a people,
place and things. Think of And I don't know if
you ever experienced this yourself, but think of a person
that you know, whether it's now or in the past.
(34:10):
Every time this person would call you, every time you
would be around this person, this person gives you hell
of anxiety.
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Right.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
Think about a place that you don't like to go to,
or say something you've seen on the news. A woman
was beating rape and you lived in that neighborhood, you
going home, that would.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Give you anxiety, right, right.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
And so a certain things, a certain thing, whatever you
want to listen to that that particular thing can give
you anxiety. So that's why it's important whatever gives you
anxiety to stay away from it.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
While you continue to torture yourself.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
And I don't to be honest with you, I don't
care if it's your mother, your brother, your sister, fill
your father. If that person gives you anxiety, stay the
hell away from them.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
So I'm gonna touch on that because I just took
a mental health training this past weekend. I have to
go to this training seminar and one of the trainees
said that we're in this era of cutting people off.
Everybody's cutting people off, and it was like, or you know,
(35:28):
I'm just so that they tell me about it, tell
me about it. So the thing is the reason why
you know people, they said, unless someone is physically, emotionally
or mentally abusing you, the way that people are cutting
people off is actually dangering you better more than it's
(35:52):
bettering you, because what ends up happening it cuts off
your line of communication.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
It doesn't allow you to learn how to communicate.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
And like you said, to comprehend because people typically cut
somebody off because you know, you don't like what they say,
or you just don't feel like going back and forth
with that person and you just decide to stop talking
to them. So that was an interesting fact. But you
are absolutely right. Nonetheless, if something is making you anxious
and every time you go there, that's a form of
(36:22):
you know, mental abuse, that means something is not right,
and it's true you should cut them off.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
But at the same time, it's how we got.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
To start to figure out that line between why or
who we should be cutting off or what we should
be cutting off what do you think?
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Okay? So right, so the way I.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
Can speak for myself, the way that I want things right,
I wouldn't want to be ghosted. So I'm not going
to ghost people. But what I am going to do
is express to you how you're making me feel, and
due to that, I no longer want to talk to you.
I always do that because when you go people, you
cut people off. Depending on how that person is, it
(37:07):
can cause them to have abandonment issues and then you
don't know how they're gonna be with the next person.
So for me, I'm not I'm a promoter of if
this person is not good for you, to stay away
from them, but to cut any tide cleanly, let them
(37:27):
know and then let that be it. That way, the
person knows, they know what they did, they know how
they made you feel, and you you no longer want
them to have access to you. Right. So to me,
I'm a promoter. You know this person giving you anxiety,
they're doing X y Z, cut them off. But for me,
(37:50):
I like to tell you why you're about to be.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Cut see, and I think that's of which I like,
I'm gonna tell you why I'm about to cut you off.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
We need to follow tell you a little bit, y'all.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
That's always ask anybody. You can ask anybody to cut off.
I'll let them know I'm cutting you off and the
reason why I'm a nice person. But no, I'm lying.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
I'm not a nice person.
Speaker 5 (38:20):
But I'm gonna let you.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
I don't ever want you to not know what I'm
thinking about you or how I'm telling about you. So
I'm gonna tell you that way, you know, and then
there's no you know, there's no great area.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
For you to wonder what that person thinks about me.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
I wonder you know how they feel.
Speaker 5 (38:39):
I'm gonna let you know.
Speaker 4 (38:41):
But that way you can sit with the reality and
not the fiction.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Not the reality and not the fiction. Oh god, all right?
Speaker 2 (38:51):
So for those who are suffering from mental health, who
do you recommend, whether the lines that you recommend for
someone to call, or whether some things that you recommend
someone should do if they feel a sense of depression
or anxiety either or so?
Speaker 4 (39:08):
Right? So tough, especially for people of color. Right, I
feel like I feel like people of color we don't
know where to go or what to do to maintain
our mental health. I think it's just started being active
(39:29):
now where people of color UH don't mind reaching out
to a mental health professionals. Right, And so even with that,
I've noticed people are will reach out but won't continue
the treats that the UH like.
Speaker 5 (39:47):
They won't continue their treatment plans.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
They'll do a few sessions, they'll say, oh, this doesn't
work for me, and then you know, try to figure
things out.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
It's weird cut you off real quick. Why do you
think that though? What do you think are the reasons
why they're not completing fully through?
Speaker 4 (40:03):
Oh, with so many reasons we can go through reasons.
Of course, you don't want to pay for that, Like
you rather get your lit gloss from Sophora than to
pay for mental health treatment. You know, the fellow want
to get his joint is instead of paying the therapist
to assist with his mental health well being. You know,
(40:24):
it's so many factors on why we continue, and then
we don't give it a chance.
Speaker 5 (40:30):
Yeap.
Speaker 4 (40:31):
That could be another thing too, We don't give it
a chance to see if it's gonna work, and we
just cut it off. Yeah, so's it's someause on why
we don't continue. But I'm just gonna say to maintain
the mental health and well being.
Speaker 5 (40:47):
Uh, here's a few tips. Right. Uh.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
Sometimes we don't know where to start, and we just
get stuck in this thing of you know, I'm mentally unwell,
mentally unwell, I don't know where to start. I don't
want to share it with my parents, with my friends
and my family. Right. Another thing too, you have to
realize sometimes people don't care what you're going through. They
(41:11):
really don't. They have their own things going on, so
how are they going to have the time to take
on yours? Right, And we have to come to the
conclusion of who we're able to talk to. Right. There
are people I have a lot of educating and smart friends,
(41:35):
but those people I can't call them. I can't call
them when when I'm going through something or when you know,
one of these mental health us and one of them
is activated. I can't call my friend and say, oh,
you know, this is what happened feeling this way. You know,
I can rarely do that because on the other end, too,
(41:58):
there's nothing that a person can say sometimes to soothe you.
Speaker 5 (42:03):
So you have to work.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
You have to work on these things yourself to continue
to maintain your mental health and well being.
Speaker 5 (42:14):
Right.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
You have to your head now.
Speaker 4 (42:21):
That it comes with a lot of happiness. Right, So
it comes with a lot of happiness, enjoy that. You
can't get these things from others. You have to create
it for yourself.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
Right. So here here, here a few tips.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
Spend time with friends and family that you have a
good time with.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Right.
Speaker 4 (42:41):
There's a lot of the there's probably a lot of
friends you have. You don't want to spend your time
with them. Time with the people that bring you joy.
You're bringing the joy already, you bringing the joy and
the happiness to the table.
Speaker 5 (42:55):
These people are.
Speaker 4 (42:56):
Just extra for that, right, So make time and made
plans to spend time with people, uh that contribute to that.
That's a part of had of social and mental health
well being. Right, talk about and express your feelings regularly.
This is a problem a lot.
Speaker 5 (43:18):
Of people have.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
Myself, I don't are yourself and that.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
Let me tell you why that's unhealthy. Que Let me
tell you because if you are thinking and feeling a
way about someone or a thing, right, if you're keeping
that in, you're the only person that knows how how
am I gonna know.
Speaker 5 (43:47):
How to treat you better?
Speaker 4 (43:49):
Or there's something that I said that you don't like
and you don't tell me how are we going to
work on fixing this and making you feel better?
Speaker 1 (43:59):
So here's you.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Are you sitting, you upset about something I said to
keep it in for weeks? You fuming, and I don't
know how am I going to know? If you don't
talk and express your feelings regularly. When people do that,
let me tell you in lame terms, that's a form
of constipation. So why are we continuing to constipate ourselves
(44:23):
with our thoughts and the other person doesn't know what?
Speaker 5 (44:27):
Tell me what sence does that make?
Speaker 3 (44:30):
It's so true?
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something,
and I can I can speak for my own personal
experience with I have a lot of siblings, over ten sensiblings, right, Okay,
you have some of these people that are holding things
in that our parents did to them when they were six, seven,
(44:51):
ten years old.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
Instead of you just go telling.
Speaker 4 (44:54):
The fool you know, how is how is this person
going to know that this action from so many years
ago has a second in your entire life? Wow, that's
I'm gonna say. That's the number one tip. Express to
people how you feel.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Number one?
Speaker 4 (45:13):
What number one? Then let's just raise them up to
number one, because that's that's that's dumping.
Speaker 5 (45:21):
That's dumping.
Speaker 4 (45:21):
How am I gonna sit with all these feelings and
the other person don't even know? A closed mouth is
never gonna get said? How are you gonna eat and
get what you need? If you're not expressing the way
that you feel? Please make it make sense to me.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
That's my saying. You know, close mouth, don't get back.
You tell people that they be like, oh I wish
I could have like did you open it? But while
preaching to a choir, and I gotta tell that to myself.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Close my don't get back you you hear me?
Speaker 4 (45:47):
All right? But another thing reducing the alcohol assumption reducing Yes, yes,
yes you have to reduce it.
Speaker 3 (46:05):
But okay, okay, now why is that who you have?
Speaker 4 (46:14):
It really correlates to it because once you come off
of uh that's pretty much high of drinking, uh possible hangover,
you back to square one. So your your your chemistry
when you put too much of that substance in it
(46:35):
can also cause you to continue to go down to sporrow,
you know. So it's it's alcohol and illicit drugs. Let's
not get into let's not get into the single why.
That's a whole other episode.
Speaker 5 (46:48):
Why people.
Speaker 4 (46:50):
That's a whole other episode on why people like to
use drugs. A lot of people like to use drugs
because they don't want to be here on earth.
Speaker 5 (46:58):
They want to take them home and to.
Speaker 4 (46:59):
Go out, to go out and all spare you the listen, drugs.
You know we're in turn that that can also cause
a mental health condition, so you got to be careful
with that. It's okay to have a little fun, you
want a party, Try not to uh so much? Okay, right,
(47:26):
Keeping active, keeping active and eating well. There's a lot
of people that don't eat well. There's a lot of
people that want to go through wind that want to
go to Windy's, want to go to McDonald's. You don't drink,
no water, no food. You want you're wondering why you
smell like a whole old pair of house keys because
(47:47):
you don't eat well. It's very important. Listen, listen. I
don't like exercising, but I know that it's important to
do I don't y'all.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
Yeah, I was up here with it.
Speaker 4 (48:05):
Listen. I do it because I need to, not because
I love to. And if that's going to contribute to
me being mentally well. I'm going to continue to be active, amen,
right because I know, because I know that that's a
step that I have to take. I don't love exercises,
but I know that I have to do it.
Speaker 5 (48:25):
But because it contributes to my well being and to
my health.
Speaker 4 (48:31):
Eating well, Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
I did want to real quick. I had to comments
from my viewers.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
One of them said that our community does have a
stigma with seeing a therapist, and another commentor said, you're
speaking the truth.
Speaker 3 (48:51):
It is true. Understanding is the most of the challenge.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
That is true, right, But continue with your yeah, so
all right, so.
Speaker 4 (49:02):
And then we'll get back to those kinds. But keeping active,
eating well, you have to do it.
Speaker 5 (49:08):
You have to do it.
Speaker 4 (49:09):
You have to think of where the fast food comes from.
All of the ingredients that are in it can also
contribute to you not being well, and so when you
eat well, it's going to contribute to your well being.
Speaker 5 (49:27):
Setting realistic goals.
Speaker 4 (49:31):
And if somebody that say, oh I want to do this,
I want to do that, I want to do this,
I want to.
Speaker 5 (49:34):
Do that, but you didn't start from where you have
to start.
Speaker 4 (49:39):
To achieve those things that you're thinking. So set realistic goals,
which is going to help you maintain your mental health
and your well being. The last part, because the list
is long, but the last and the most important is
get enough sleep. You have people to it's always up
(50:00):
during the midnight hour. Let me tell you one thing
about me, and that's that that's why you know you
will You're not gonna see me with no bad one
that I have my phone. I have my phone set
to wind down at ninety five for me to get
into bed by ten pm, ten pm. My phone is
(50:24):
cut off. My phone is from Monday to Thursday ten pm,
I'm in the bed. The only other time is when
I'm going to the podcast on Tuesday. You know I'm
in the I'm in the bed a little late. But
other than that, my phone is set nine forty five
(50:45):
to get into bed.
Speaker 5 (50:46):
If you get enough sleep, that's a contribute you.
Speaker 4 (50:52):
Healing and good to be all night. For you to
be up on your phone talling, scrolling through you know
you have to stop doing that and get some sleep
to contribute to your mental health well being. It's good.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Sorry, real quick, let's start just run through your five
numbers real quick, so we can let this out. So
Number one, communicate your feelings, express yourself correct right.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
Talk talk about and express yourself regularly. Don't wait months
later and say, hey, Q, you remember when you said
in February. No, it's we we can't even address it now.
Speaker 5 (51:38):
Let it take a day or two. Don't don't let
that thing stretch over week.
Speaker 4 (51:42):
Express yourself regularly on how people are making you feel
and certain things that are happening. How you know how it.
Speaker 5 (51:51):
Is making you feel.
Speaker 4 (51:52):
That's the only way that you're gonna work on it.
If you don't do that, or you're gonna do what
you're gonna do is contimpate yourself with your thoughts, right,
and then you're gonna explode on the wrong person. You
on the wrong. So let's work on expressing ourselves regularly
and telling people how we feel and how they're making
(52:14):
us feel. Spend time with your friends and your family
that bring you happiness, enjoy. Not all the friends we
have make us happy, you know they're there for whatever
reason that they're there, But those that you know that
you have a.
Speaker 5 (52:28):
Good time with, cool to be.
Speaker 4 (52:32):
With them often. Right. Number three, lower that alcohol and
that are listed drum use. Let's lower it because if
you continue and continue to do that, it will cause
you to develop a mental health disorder. Will definitely reduce that.
Another thing, setting realistic goals. Set your goals to be realistic,
(52:57):
you have to start from the bottom to rea the top.
Speaker 5 (53:00):
Right, Man, you can't just wake up.
Speaker 4 (53:02):
You can't just wake up one day and say, oh,
I'm going to be a million here. No, there's double
steps that you have to take in order for you
to get to what you want to achieve.
Speaker 5 (53:13):
And the last thing, and the last thing is get
enough sleep.
Speaker 4 (53:22):
We have to go to bed. Why are you walk
three o'clock in the morning scrawling through Instagram and Facebook?
What is what is there for you? Is?
Speaker 5 (53:30):
What is there for you?
Speaker 4 (53:31):
When you could be drinking water, eating a piece of fruit,
reading a book and take your tail to bed?
Speaker 2 (53:38):
No lie on Instagram, for I can literally take this
sound right and just put you on TikTok and just how.
Speaker 3 (53:45):
You know when you scrolling, be like, go to bed?
Speaker 4 (53:47):
What is right?
Speaker 2 (53:49):
Right?
Speaker 4 (53:50):
Literally?
Speaker 5 (53:55):
Bed?
Speaker 4 (53:57):
There?
Speaker 3 (53:57):
We got the sound. Let our followers know.
Speaker 2 (54:02):
Day, you guys have a deserves now for our followers,
our talkers who are interested in exploring more in these
steps or maybe learning a little bit more of.
Speaker 3 (54:11):
The other steps that you have listed. Let us know
where can they find you?
Speaker 4 (54:16):
Well, I don't do too much of us talking on anywhere.
Oh I do, And I am gonna listen, I am.
I am gonna start it up this stuffing you you
know how these things are you know when there's so
many logistics and you're not you know, you're not mentally.
Speaker 5 (54:34):
To do these things and have.
Speaker 4 (54:36):
These conversations with people.
Speaker 3 (54:39):
You know.
Speaker 4 (54:39):
But I plan on coming back this summer like and
giving y'all more stories and more topics uh to listen to.
But on the things that I currently have now, I
don't do too much of us talking, but I'm definitely
free uh to talk to people if they need to
know you know where to go and want to do
(55:00):
and want to start.
Speaker 5 (55:01):
I give that for free.
Speaker 4 (55:04):
I'm not I'm not. If you say to me, hey,
I want to be mentally well, I want to figure
out you know.
Speaker 5 (55:12):
What it is I need to do, I'm going to
give that to you for free.
Speaker 2 (55:16):
And y'all have a Q Talks exclusive free talk with
Tay if y'all need to get mentally well.
Speaker 4 (55:22):
Wait wait, wait, not talk just ask me a question
and I'm going to direct you to where you need
to go. That is, I'm not sitting I'm not sitting
on no phone on the line with nobody, but definitely
I'll give you a link to something or someplace that
I know where you can start, because that's what we
(55:44):
go through a lot. We were just sitting there dealing
with whatever we're dealing with and we don't know where
to start.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
That that's the problem. It's the starting point. Well, now
that we started with us, so you are weekly everych
who say on I'm just saying podcast show, and also
how often do you do your podcast so people can
tune in and view? So every Tuesday we're tuning in
(56:10):
on Twitch, I'm just saying show, and on Instagram and
everything right, Yes to come see Tay, you have to
listen to her because.
Speaker 4 (56:20):
I'm just I'm just I'm just saying show goes with
my friends over there, Kevin and hl. You know, I
think a lot of people. I think a lot of
people don't know that I've known Kevin for over ten years.
He was he was actually my worker. No, me and
(56:42):
Kevin want to to hell facility plays and we just
stay friends. You know this entire time, and I'm at
HL through him and we're just like to be honest
with you. We're just like a little family.
Speaker 3 (56:58):
It's very cute. I've been on their show, and they
make you very comfortable.
Speaker 2 (57:03):
It's very funny, entertaining, especially when tabe her shocking first
out comments.
Speaker 5 (57:11):
But yes, please all.
Speaker 2 (57:15):
Always, always, so please tune in every Tuesday to tune
into her and your podcast. How often are you doing it?
Are you go just I guess follow you and then wait.
Speaker 4 (57:26):
I just I just yeah, they can just follow me
over there at a NOSA field. I also have like
that I'm not gonna a lot of that I don't
work on. It's called the dosub Reveal dot org, where
you can go on there and you can listen to
every episode that I've done and also see the transfers
(57:49):
of uh the explanation of the episodes. I think that
uh they're going to be most important to those that
want to listen to or have experienced U certain things
with the titles that you see there. And I just
want to be able to continue to create that content
(58:11):
UH that people can't find or UH talks that people
don't talk a lot about and so mental health is
one of them that we do stare away from discussing.
Speaker 5 (58:25):
And really wanting.
Speaker 4 (58:27):
To learn the logistics of it, which is very important.
You know, a mental health disorder is really considered a
disease and it can be in the same category as
one have a diabetes. Wow, which.
Speaker 5 (58:50):
For you to be able to treat your.
Speaker 4 (58:51):
Mental health and that same way taking medication.
Speaker 2 (58:59):
Important to you said that mental health is similar to
having diabetes, and then it went.
Speaker 4 (59:06):
Out, I said, diabetes and hypertension. You have to treat
those conditions. Yeah, m hm, right, un having a better
life and health, you know. And it's the same thing
(59:28):
with substance use disorder. A lot of people think, oh,
you know, to this drug because they want to be
at some point of subs abuse disorder is really a disease.
It's really a disease of the brain. And the only
way that we are going to be able to get.
Speaker 5 (59:48):
Out of these things is that we have to work.
Speaker 4 (59:51):
On them daily. We have to work on them daily.
So there's a lot of people that are on medication.
There's a lot of people that are on their medication right,
and it has to be what what assist you with
balancing your life the best way that you can, right,
So I don't I don't promote, I don't promote medications, noe.
(01:00:18):
UH to help them become balanced. Again, that's all of
this is let's talk about the latistics of UH mental health.
These things are genetics. These things some things that you're doing,
they create. UH mental health is environmental. You're in a
(01:00:39):
certain environment. That's what's.
Speaker 5 (01:00:44):
So.
Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
These are things that you gotta work on daily to
get yourself out of right. Sometimes there are people that
do need it to balance themselves back. Don't have to
be on the medication forever, but there are some points
that you need in order to be able to maintain
(01:01:05):
a daily living, to get yourself to do the things
that you need to do to contribute to your own life.
Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
That I am so informed and so happy that I
was able to have this conversation with you, especially that
I didn't know your background was fully in the mental
health aspect.
Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
I thought it was just more so with just.
Speaker 4 (01:01:27):
A yeah, listen, I know, I know I play around
a lot, because you know, life.
Speaker 5 (01:01:36):
Is so serious anyway.
Speaker 4 (01:01:39):
I like to joke around, But I have been in
the mental health field. I'm gonna say over fifteen years right.
And it's a passion for me to be able to
assist of people, you know, assist people with being mentally well,
that's a passion of my It doesn't make the best money,
(01:02:02):
doesn't make the most.
Speaker 5 (01:02:03):
Money, but.
Speaker 4 (01:02:06):
And fulfilling to do. You know. I feel like when
I I feel like when I was an undergrad and
I went to uh complete my degree in psychology, I said, oh,
you know what, I'm going to be a psychologist. Then
I said, nah, I can't. I can't sit here and
listen to people problems all day.
Speaker 5 (01:02:25):
So I just get off.
Speaker 4 (01:02:26):
I just get off to doing something else. You know.
I sometimes I feel like I abandoned.
Speaker 5 (01:02:32):
You know, I.
Speaker 4 (01:02:36):
Decided not to continue my education in psychiatry, But it
was for myself. I said, I can't sit here and
listen to people problems.
Speaker 5 (01:02:45):
All day, so I just.
Speaker 4 (01:02:47):
Wound up doing something else.
Speaker 5 (01:02:48):
But I just do the same thing with just a
little touch of it.
Speaker 3 (01:02:52):
Yeah, you just got just a little sprinkle, you know.
Speaker 5 (01:02:58):
It's really it's really rewarded for me.
Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
Well, I believe you are in your chosen path because
you have shed a lot of light on the topic
of mental health for myself and my talkers especially with
them commenting on Facebook and self.
Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
So I am grateful to have.
Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
You as a guest. We would love to have you
again for sure, and I plan on having talk with you,
you guys, because.
Speaker 3 (01:03:20):
I want to know if I have all together. Yeah,
I'm here, you know me. This is all I do.
Speaker 5 (01:03:26):
Run.
Speaker 2 (01:03:27):
But so for my talkers who are listening, please be
sure to follow say Adoca Revel twenty twenty.
Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
I keep saying reveal twenty times. I don't know, I
don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:03:44):
It is a dose, is a dose of revealed. And
the reason why is that because and it's goes back
to you and you hold and everything in. You cannot
heal from anything that you do not reveal. So you
understand that you cannot heal from things that you don't reveal.
(01:04:05):
If I don't know, if I don't know what's hurting you,
how am I going to help you?
Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
Honestly, I used to be better with expressing myself. Then
I stop expressing myself.
Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
But then now I'm starting to express myself a lot more,
and I feel a lot better, I'll tell you that much.
It's a lot more weight off my shoulders. I've been
giving phone calls like, hey, let's talk real quick. I'm
ready to talk now, but I needed to cleanse. I
had to get me together first. I had to get
me balanced. Before you know, I go in and then
I'm like toppled over.
Speaker 3 (01:04:35):
But that was you're right.
Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
If you don't if I don't speak, how would they know?
They're not in my head, they're not here. So for
my talkers who are listening, make sure you take that's
one of the biggest giveaway. Make sure you.
Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
Express yourself for surely. All right, well, thank you for
coming on the show. Thank you for your break with us.
All right, yeah, all right, tell lady you guys.
Speaker 4 (01:04:59):
Bye in Kio, bah bah
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