Ep. 247 - Are Women the Problem With Men?

Why do modern men feel like they just can’t measure up to the standards of modern women? Are women sabotaging themselves by accepting the modern view of successful womanhood? What responsibility does a woman have in the development of a good man? This might be Kira’s most controversial episode to date. Grab your popcorn and dig in! Don’t forget to subscribe to Kira’s Substack justkiradavis.substack.com

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
This is the FCB Podcast Network.Our prayers soda Day that we won't was
said, and we want to stayall we got it? Does no one
get take that away? Say it'sgonna be okay? Our prayers soda Day

(00:23):
that we won't was saying, thenwe won't was pay all we got it?
Does no one get take that away? No don't, was paide it's
gonna be okay. Young men todayfeel like they must be six feet tall,
make six figures, and have atleast six inches downstairs to get a

(00:45):
girlfriend, and so many have givenup trying. Why do we have all
these dating pool dropouts? That's thetopic of today's Just Listen to Yourself with
Kia Davis, the podcast where wetake hot topics, hot button ideas,
and we draw the talking points onthose ideas all the way out to their
logical conclusion. And today I aminspired by an article I just read you

(01:10):
the slug from that article, anarticle I saw on Twitter, and a
lot of the comments that I sawcoming out of that article, and it
really made me want to discuss thisand it's something I think about all the
time. It's something that I see, I see the breakdown in society because
we have a fundamental breakdown and therelationship between men and women and what our
roles are today is going to bea controversial episode. If you are a

(01:36):
single woman, I need to tellyou this. I want you to focus
on the words I'm saying, notthe words you're hearing. I get this
a lot whenever I and oh,by the way, I'll say this.
The reason why I address this towomen, I'm not trying to scold my

(01:59):
sisters scifically. It's just because Ifeel like this is a podcast for women
today, and I'll maybe I'll tryto do one for men, but it's
of course it's going to be frommy female perspective. I don't know what
it's like to be in man withbut it's it's worth saying. I think,
particularly Christians, spend a lot oftime addressing and chastising women and not

(02:23):
enough doing the same for men.I do believe that. In fact,
my beloved father in law, VicDavis, I can remember one day we
were in church and he was preachingand he had this admonition for the young
women. Now please understand, itwas an inner city church, so the
majority of the young women in ourchurch had our teenage mothers were teenage mothers,

(02:44):
and so it was an unusual tohave two or three pregnant girl teenagers
in the congregation at any time.And he was admonishing the girls, keep
yourself chased, hold yourself you you. This is God's plan for your body
and marriage, and when it's donecorrectly, you'll have all these amazing things.

(03:05):
You'll have husband, family, ourcommunity will begin to be nipped back
together. But you're the keeper ofromance and you're the keeper of integrity.
And he was really just telling youngwomen like be choosy, be choosy,
don't just fall for the first guywho says I love you. It was
all good advice, It wasn't badadvice. But I remember sitting there thinking

(03:25):
because I was leading our youth groupat that time, so I was talking
to a y'all, a lot ofthese young women day in and day out,
and I remember thinking, well,where's the message for the guys.
What do you have to say tothe young men who are pressuring them?
Because I don't know many young teenagewomen who who would do the kinds of

(03:46):
things that they were doing if theydidn't feel pressured by a boyfriend or a
potential boyfriend, if they didn't feeldesperate for that love, Why wouldn't you
speak to the young men about beinghaving integrity and how a woman is supposed
to be treated, and how youare supposed to view dating and romance and
intimacy. Have that. I neverhear you preached that from the pulpit.

(04:10):
And he said, because women mostvisibly bear the brunt of soured romance.
It was a decent explanation, right. What he's saying is you're the women
when the relationship goes wrong. AndI think we can all instinctually agree with
this. When the relationship goes wrong, you're left with the scars and the

(04:32):
man can move on. If youget pregnant, the man can disappear.
He doesn't have to bear a growingbelly for nine or ten months. It's
closer to ten months. We don'tget credit for that. A man doesn't
bear that visual burden, not tomention that physical burden, He can walk
away from it. A man doesn'tbear the burden of nurturing an infant.

(04:58):
A man doesn't then bear the scarson his body of carrying a human being.
A man doesn't bear the stigma ofbeing a single parent, even those
of you who are right thinkers likeme, sorry little arrogant, but competent,
Even right thinkers like me. Ithink we all have this tendency to

(05:21):
look at a single dad and go, oh, what a great dad.
But when we see a single mom, it doesn't feel we're either going,
oh, she's doing what she's supposedto be doing. We're sort of brushing
it off like obviously that's just normal, or we turn up our noses a
bit, maybe on the inside,not on the outside, but maybe there's

(05:42):
a part of us that goes,well, what did she do wrong?
I think, if we're being honestwith ourselves these there is more of a
stigma to being a single mom thana single dad. So what my dad
was saying was women don't get thesame type of grace that men do,
so you've got to guard yourself.All that being said, I do think

(06:03):
someone needs to go out there andtalk to the men, and it needs
to not be autate. So todayis for the women. And I don't
want you to think that just becauseI say something about general women in general,
that I'm talking about your specific situation. For instance, the other day
on Twitter, and this is mejust setting the boundary for this conversation because

(06:23):
it's going to be controversial, andI just I have to live with that.
The other day on Twitter, someonemade a comment about being older and
being disappointed that now that she's readyfor dating and family, that the men
aren't interested. They're only interested inyounger women, and I made a comment
saying, Okay, ladies, payattention to this. It feels like when

(06:46):
you're young, you have all thetime in the world to have it all,
but you can't have it all wheneveryou want it all. Your time
is limited for things like marriage andfamilies, so prioritize those things early.
Well. I got a litany ofresponses from women who are saying, oh,
well, it's use you, Kia. But I've been waiting for thirty
years for my prince Charming to comealong. I've been open to marriage and
family and I'm still waiting. Sohow dare you? Okay? Well,

(07:10):
I wasn't talking to you, then, stude. Do you know what I
mean? You need to be ableto discern between what people are saying and
what you're hearing. I wasn't sayingthat there's something wrong with you because you've
been open and waiting, and noman has come along too. I don't
know your circumstance. What I'm sayingis, ladies in general, please do

(07:30):
not put off prioritizing family and childrenduring the peak years for you to have
those things, because later on itwill not be as easy as you imagine.
I'm not talking to the women whodid prioritize those things and the man
never showed up, You never raninto that person. I'm not talking to

(07:54):
you then, So you don't needto be offended because this message won't be
for you. But I do thinkthat or women out there who are still
under the impression that they can't haveit all should have it all, and
that there's nothing wrong with being anda hyper independent, aggressive modern woman who
seeks to be the financial breadwinner inher family. I think there is something

(08:18):
wrong with that. If you wanta life partner and a family someday,
I think that is the wrong wayto go about. So we're gonna talk
about this and this idea of hyperindependence. I think that is what men
are seeing. Modern men, genZ millennials, they're seeing this hyper independence
and they're saying, there's no roomfor me in here. There's no room

(08:43):
for me to play the part I'mmeant to play. So that's what we
need to talk about. What aremen and women supposed to be doing and
what aren't they doing? I thinkthe best place to start here is this
article. Here's a little slug fromthe article from the Free Press. Part
of this also boils down to this, it's hard for men to find partners
at a moment when women are outpacingthem both at school and work. Okay,

(09:07):
let's stop there. I'm going tobreak that down. Well, why
did that person write it that way? Because fundamentally, this author is recognizing
something that they're not saying out loud, but it is a fundamental understanding in
their cord. There's a fundamental understandingburied in this sentence that men are providers,

(09:30):
and when women take the positions ofproviders, men feel lost. That's
reflected in that first sentence. Movingon, young women now hold one point
six million more college degrees than men, and in a growing number of cities,
they make as much as or morethan their male counterparts. And even
if they become mothers odds are fourand ten will become the bread winners of

(09:54):
their household. Again recognizing underneath thatstatement is the fundamental recognition that a man
is a provider and he and hefundamentally this is going to be my word
of the day. I can alreadytell fundamentally needs to provide for a wife
and a family. It's not astate of mind. It is a biological

(10:16):
drive. Older women who are establishedin your careers, when you've decided to
go out and date again and youwant professional men. I'm going to read
a quote from a Twitter commentator herein a bit. It's going to bring
this more to light. When yougo out into the dating pool of men.
Who are your peers, your malepeers dating. Are they dating?

(10:39):
For the most part? Are theydating women like you with a PhD and
a six figure salary and your ownhome and your own car and your own
bag. You're no, they're not, Are they? Who are they dating?
Twenty one year old hashtag bimbos?Young women? Look at actor Chris
Evans, Captain Marvel. He's fortysix years old. He just I think

(11:01):
I just called him Captain Marble,forty six y years old. He just
got married. I think his wifeis twenty four. He could have his
pick of any professional, driven,accomplished woman in the industry. Any one
of those women he could, hecould snap his fingers and have, but

(11:22):
he chose someone who's at the startof her life, who's barely even established
herself, who barely even knows whoshe is. Yet as a woman,
a marriage changes out a lot.I think I don't think I really became
a woman until I got married.Why Because fundamentally, there's that word again,
fundamentally at his core and the coreof professional men, ladies, these

(11:43):
men, these hypothetical men, inthis hypothetical situation, at the core,
they are driven to provide. Whenhe looks at you, he sees someone
who doesn't need anything. You don'tneed anything from him. You don't need
this time, I'm really because youfill your time with. Whatever you don't

(12:03):
need is money. You don't needa partner. You got your own bag,
you got your own thing going.And you might say that's not fair,
but that's life, that's reality.And this is the other thing.
This is the other issue I thinkwe're having in modern relationship issues, relationship
situations. This is the issue we'rehaving is too many women are rooted in

(12:26):
unrealistic expectations of human nature. Wecan experiment all we want and change the
law all we want, but humannature has never changed. Since the beginning
of time, since the Garden ofEden, men have been the same and
women have been the same, andthere have been taming factors for both.

(12:48):
There are external factors that right therelationship men and women have in America.
It's quite different, of course,than the relationship they might have in Pakistan
or Iran, but the impulses areall the same. There are a lot
of women who have lost the opportunityfor husband, family, and that type

(13:09):
of thing because they have been told, you can have it all now,
and then later, when you wantthe rest of it, that'll be there
for you too. And I'm tellingyou that men are not on the same
page. Even statistics tell us thatas women age, they prefer men around
their same age. Makes sense,because girls mature faster. Even when we're
younger girls, we prefer at leastguys at least a few years older than

(13:31):
us. So statistics tell us thatwomen prefer to date their same age.
The older they get, the oldertheir partner pool gets. The older men
get, the younger their partner poolgets, they don't keep pace with the
women. A man's eye, asingle man's eye at least hopefully is roving

(13:52):
more towards younger women. Those women, just to be blunt, are typically
less independent. They're still finding theirway, which means there's room for them
to grow. You might say that'smultible, but I say that's room to
grow. So instead of coming intoa relationship where a woman's like, I'm
already who I am and you haveto deal with that and I'm not changing
for anybody because I've been doing thisthing for fifty five years now, instead

(14:16):
of saying that you have a youngerpartner who's like what, you know what,
I'm willing to grow and change.Life is exciting. Let's go for
it. One response on Twitter tothis article says women don't need to lower
their standards. Instead, we needto figure out why men on average are
falling so far behind their female counterparts. This is a vastly important question biologically.

(14:39):
Most women are simply not going tobe attracted to a man they don't
see as an equal. There's alot going on in this. This is
a young woman who works inside thebeltway, gen Zer, so just keep
that in mind. From her pointof view, part of this response is
spot on. She has landed onan essential truth. I don't think she

(15:05):
knows that, but she has landedon an essential truth. We need to
figure out why men on average arefalling so far behind their female counterparts.
So that is a thing that's happening. And she's also seeing She says,
women are not going to be attractedto a man they don't see as an
equal. Biologically speaking, she says, now, she's almost there, she's

(15:31):
almost right. But she uses theword equal, and I would like to
replace that with the word provider.It's not that women are looking for an
equal. She's young. She maythink she's looking for an equal, and
maybe she is. I think thatmight be a mistake, particularly given her
rate of success. But what's anequal? What are you thinking is equal?

(15:54):
I'm going to assume in the contextof the conversation she means financially and
educationally speaking, Obviously, you wantto get along. You your partner's going
to be someone you get along with, and if you're highly educated, it's
going to be harder to get alongwith somebody who has a fifth grade education
maybe and doesn't know how to read. That's just that's just the way it

(16:15):
goes. Obviously, I get thatshe thinks education and finance are the key
to equality, and I say,no, what women, They don't want
equal, they want a provider andsome money. Provisions are a symbol of
that. If a man makes thesame as you or less than you.

(16:36):
Biologically speaking, my dear friend,what that does in a woman's mind is
triggers the idea that this man cannotprovide for the family. And even though
you might not find that distasteful,might not, you're not being a snob
about it, but just biologically evolutionaryspeaking, you were looking at that guy

(17:00):
going on, he can't provide.So that's I think that's what she means
when she says this, You're notgoing to be attracted to a man they
see as equal. So that's partof what's happening. And because women are
highly educated now we make up themajority of colleges, were pushing through to
the workforce and government, there area lot of men out there who who

(17:22):
are looking at women, going Ihave nothing to give her because men are
providers. Are you guys still withme? O yo YOI Hot topics,
the news of the day, indepth, interviews, and a whole lot

(17:42):
more. It's The Outlaws radio showsubscribe to the show on Apple, Spotify,
iHeart, or wherever you get yourpodcast today. That's out Laws The
Outlaws Radio Show, an FCB podcast. Another responses in general, women fundamentally

(18:03):
can't respect or trust a man tobe in a leadership role in the relationship
or family if she sees him asinferior to her. The only role he
can ever have in that situation isthat of a man child. Bloody,
all have man childs in your houses, and I think that's your fault,
not theirs. The solution is notto snuff out the light of women's candles

(18:23):
in order to give the appearance thatmen's candles shine more brightly, but to
figure out how to get men's candlesto shine more brightly on their own.
Merits can tell you the politics ofthis woman. I have no idea,
but I think what she's saying istrue. But I also think that's sort

(18:45):
of pathetic that what women here whenthey say men need to be leaders and
men need to be providers, isall I need to shrink. Well,
no, that that's you totally misunderstandingyour role as a woman, and what
that is Never I have never feltmore powerful or more influential in my life
than I have when I became awife and a mother. I don't need

(19:06):
to be a CEO to have influencein this family. That is womanhood.
And it also doesn't usurp my husband'sauthority, influence or job as a provider
or equals in the respect that Godhas created us all in his image,

(19:26):
but we do not play and weplay equal roles in this house as far
as we're both very important, butwe do not play the same role.
This idea, ladies, that themeasure of success is how much money you
can make and how you can financiallysupport yourself in a household is demonic.

(19:49):
It's evil. It has ruined us. That's a male ideal. This is
what I think modern women don't understandthat their ideas of what successes are male
ideas. So the idea that you'relike, well, women are this,
and women are that, and womencan do this and women can do that,

(20:10):
You're not being independent. All you'redoing is taking on the mantle of
a man. All you're doing issaying, well, I'm conforming to what
a man would do to be powerful. It's like when these Hollywood actresses stand
up and go, oh, thankGod, for my abortion. I'm so
glad I had my abortion, becauseif I hadn't had my abortion, I
never would have got this movie rolethat won me an oscar. Right,

(20:33):
Michelle Williams won an oscar and gotup there and shouted out her abortion,
saying thank you. Well, ifI had never had this abortion, I
never would have been able to bestanding here. And for what she was
saying was in order for me tobe a strong woman, I had to
make my body conform to a man'sbody. A man doesn't have to worry
about pregnancy. And if I don'thave to worry about pregnancy, then my

(20:55):
body can take on the same functionas a man in the professional space,
meaning I don't have to exert aproduction to give birth or something, which
is a totally natural process. Bythe way, that's that's her saying,
my idea of an ideal is howa male body functions. Women nowadays are

(21:19):
saying, hey, we can bestrong, we can be independent, we
can be the leaders of the fifthThese are all very traditionally male qualities,
and you're saying, well, yeah, no, we're going to change your
tradition now they're going to be traditionalfemale qualities. Why why do you.
But all you're doing is just takingwhat society says a man is, and
you're just translating that. You're justsaying, Oh, in order for women

(21:41):
to be equal, we need tobe more like men. It's just counterintuitive,
and that's womanhood instead of recognizing thepower and influence that real womanhood,
traditional womanhood for lack of a betterterm, has so the idea, this

(22:03):
idea for men to shine, womenhave to have to hold back their light
or even that to have this discussionis what someone like me is saying,
Oh, you've got to you've gotto be a wilting flower in order to
make your man feel good. No, that's perverted too. We have told
men for decades now that there's somethingfundamentally wrong with manhood. We medicate boyhood,

(22:23):
we've feminized all of education, andthen we wonder why men aren't willing
to step up the way we wantthem to, because every woman wants a
man to provide something. Even thatwoman who said, oh, woman is
not going to be attracted to aman who's not her equal, well,
no, what she really means isthat she's not going to be attracted to

(22:45):
a man who seems like he can'tprovide for the family, and the problem
comes a lot of times, alot of especially the longer you wait,
ladies, you get more used toyour life. I mean, we all
do that, right and I'm usedto my life as a married woman.
To get you to your life,a certain way, you fold your sheets,
a certain way, you do thedishes, a certain way. To
welcome somebody into that space at anolder age is way more difficult. And

(23:11):
then also so is the idea ofnot being the provider for yourself, of
welcoming a man in to be yourpartner, and it can be a difficult
transition for older couples. So Ithink a woman has to go into a
relationship, especially when you're older,if the relationship is really going to thrive.
I think women have to go intothe relationship understanding that there is a

(23:33):
fundamental difference between what a man anda woman provide in a relationship. You
do not provide the same thing ifyou think that your relationship is fifty fifty.
If you think that men and womengo into a relationship equally and provide
each other the same things, thenyour relationship is doomed to fail. You
don't use a hammer and a nailbecause they both do the same thing.
When hammers and nails work together,they build things alone. They're just subjects.

(23:57):
Okay, I think men are feelingokay, I think if we're going
to dig into this question that thiswoman asked, how do we help men's
lights shine brighter without dimming our own? First of all, ladies, when
you feel comfortable in your womanhood andyou understand the influence and power you have,
the feminine influence and power you haveas a woman, when you understand

(24:21):
that you don't really have to worryabout dimming your light for anyone, do
you, guys, imagine that Iam the type of woman that dims my
light for anyone. I mean,I'm shouting and screaming on this bike every
week. What you hear is whatyou get. I have a reputation in
this family. I'm no welting flower. For sure, my light is never

(24:42):
dimmed. But would I say thatmy husband's light shines brightly and he is
a leader and a provider of thisfamily, for this family, and that
he is the head of this householdas bold and expressive and bossy and extroverted

(25:03):
and visible as I am me.Kira Davis my husband is the head of
our household. I am not thehead of this household. He is.
That is it is expressed financially andmorally. But that is simply natural.
It's simply the natural order of ourhouse. He does not have a dim

(25:25):
light, but it does flicker differently, so we have to remember. So
we have to remember that there onedoes not preclude the other. I think
as this person is saying, so, why do the lights of men feel
so dim? The general answer ismodern feminism. It has completely destroyed the
natural relationship between men and women.But I've wrote down some bullet points.

(25:51):
Let's talk through. Some of thesemen are hunter gatherers, women are nurturers.
When that balance is upset, itupsets the relationship. Maybe a good
I can already just hear people screamingin their minds already. I'm sorry.
Someone needs to say these things outloud. I know they're not popular.
I'm sorry. If it's hurtful toyou, I don't I'm not judging you.

(26:14):
This is just someone needs to sayit. So you've heard it.
You make the decisions, but someoneneeds to tell you the truth. So
here's an analogy. I would sayit's maybe a weak analogy, but I'll
do my best here. If youlook at a relationship like a building,
right, it's something with foundations andwalls and windows, and something that needs

(26:36):
to be built constructed, and there'ssomething that needs to be maintained. The
family, the home, the homebase. That's your building. That's the
relationship. And then the man leavesthat building maybe every day, or if
he's going out hunting, he goeshunting ones and weaker ones a month.
He goes out to slay the dragon, knock a line, hands over the

(27:00):
head, and drag them back tothe building and feed the family. And
but the woman is the foundation ofthat building. Both have very important roles
to play. But if there isno home for a man to drag his
kill back too, what is hispoint of living? And men fundamentally understand

(27:21):
that. That's why when a mandoesn't have a purpose, he has lost.
The majority of people in the streetsare men. I was reading an
article from the Salvation Army and itwas an old article. It was from
the nineteen thirties, and I wastalking about the number of drunks, and
it was talking about the number ofdrunks. I'm paraphrasing now, because I

(27:41):
don't have this article on hand.I was talking about the number of drunks
that were out on the street thatwas a big issue at that time,
and the article was saying, theseare largely young, working age men and
they're aimless. Why And even atthat time, this article was saying because
women have been doing more for themselvesand government has been providing more for women,

(28:03):
and these men are basically aimless thereand the article was a little harsh.
They're lazy and they don't want towork. And the reason why they're
drunk is because they don't have purpose. A man named purpose, and when
he doesn't have purpose, he islost. And we are raising a generation
of men with no purpose. That'swhat that article said in nineteen thirty And

(28:23):
nowadays we educate boys to tell themthat they have no purpose. We tell
them that even their biological sex isworthless, because anybody can be a boy
if you just say you are.We feminize our education spaces, we feminize
their entertainment. We have aimed everypositive program at women. How do we

(28:45):
get more women in space? Howdo we get more women in stem?
How do we get more women inthe arts? How do we get more
women producers? How do we getmore women executives? How do we get
more women in government? And theonly time we're ever talking about men is
if they're being toxic toxic masculinity.You may say that that's nothing, but
it adds up, Ladies, toyou, it doesn't mean anything, because

(29:07):
to you, it doesn't mean anything, because, ladies, we're programmed to
enjoy being built up. We're programmedto enjoy compliments. That's right, right,
girl, you go slay, queen, you got it, you go
girl? Right. We love doingthat for each other. We love we
love hearing it. That's kind ofhow we navigate life. And we think
that men are like that too,and they're not. So we we love

(29:30):
it. We love looking around andgoing, oh, look at all these
programs for us, Look at allthese these scholarships for us. People are
saying, it's women. Women canbe powerful too. Women. We love
the compliments, so we don't seeanything wrong with that, but us on
how men work, they and they'reresponding to it. These are not isolated
issues, ladies. That's the lieto many of you are telling yourselves.

(29:56):
When I'm sitting here telling you,hey, there's a biolog o, je
goal hierarchy. Here there are traditionalroles that need to be nurtured and respected,
and when they're not, things turnedon their head. And you're going,
no, that's not it. Iknow things are on their head,
like I can't find a guy thatI see as equal to me. I

(30:17):
hear that as provider. I don'tsee a man who can be a provider.
But that's not the reason why thatcan't be it. Okay, Well,
you take a look at the aroundyou, at the people who are
thriving and what their relationships look like, and don't do it on the surface.
Get to know somebody. Get toknow a couple. Marriages are very

(30:38):
different on the inside than they areon the outside. I'll tell you that
much. I'm also really sidebar here. I'm going to read this letter on
my next listener response, but Iwant you to know I think this was
from a listener named was it Nancy? Wasn't Nancy. It was a gentleman
listener. I apologize and pull upthe email, but I will. I'm

(31:00):
going to read your email on thenext listener response. But he complained that
I'm saying the word like too much, and I agree. He pinpointed it
as lazy. It's getting lazy,and you're right, like, is a
way to stop and think for asecond. It's it's like, So,
I want you to know that Iheard your criticism or your critique, and

(31:22):
I took it very seriously and I'mtrying. Part of my problem is I'm
experiencing a lot of brain fog lately. That just to be totally honest with
you, and I'm not sure ifthat's health related, I have been having
a few minor health issues lately,or if that's age related, I am
premenopausal. So I want you toknow that I heard you and I'm going

(31:45):
to try. That's a sidebar,Okay, So all of the mail spaces
have been completely emasculated, and we'rewondering why boys aren't acting the way we
should. But women, Are youexpecting men to act like women? No,
but they could be a little moresensitive when you want the mac ling
women, then no. But theycould stop making crude jokes in the workplace.

(32:08):
Oh, you want them to bemore like women, then, oh,
but they could they could stop beingso aggressive and assertive, especially when
they're asking for things like funding orinvesting or a raise. Just makes the
rest of us look weaker. Oh, you want them to be like a

(32:29):
woman. Men and women are notthe same. Men and women are not
too human creations that are just separatedby whether or not you have a uterus.
We have feminized every single aspect ofAmerican society these days, including entertainment.
Disney bought Marvel years ago when wewere going through this big transition and

(32:52):
into streaming. Disney bought the rightsto Marvel. Why because Marvel was a
superhero franchise and Disney was considered aprincess brand. They all high a huge
amount a very high percentage of femalefans and little girl fans, and they,
like any good business, wanted toexpand the market, so they bought

(33:14):
Marvel so they could get into thesuperhero market. Well what did they do
five years after they got into thesuperhero market. They totally feminize the superhero
market. And so now every superherohas a feminine counterpart. Go look on
Disney Plus and see what's going onin the Marvel universe and the Star Wars
universe. Right now, every malehas been replaced by a female head.

(33:38):
Look at the Mandalorian. People lovedthat show when it first came out,
and what did they do? Inseason two or three they did a switch
a roo where it's still called theMandalorian, but suddenly the Mandalorian was hardly
in it. And now you're oh, oh, it's a bait and switch.
Now you're following this female character.We're feminizing everything. Look at this
chick that's going out in public,sizing snow White like, well, not

(34:01):
now because she's striking, but justlike an idiot. She sounds like an
idiot. She's going out. Oh, snow White isn't going to be about
love and the princess saving anybody,and this young woman being good and kind
and sweet, she's going to saveherself and be a leader. And we're
ascribing, we're denigrating the things thatgirls and women are traditionally drawn to.

(34:29):
Love and kindness and intimacy, romance, the idea of being protected and having
a protector. We're throwing that aside, and we're making her more like a
man. And then Marvel's making theirmen more like women. And look at
she Hulk. Oh gosh, whata disaster that show is. She Hulk.

(34:52):
There's this whole scene. Now ifyou watch the Marvel movie, so
you know Bruce Banner the Hulk.He saved the world several times. He
has saved the world. There's anargument to be made he might be as
powerful as Superman. These are allgeek conversations. I don't even know why
I'm getting into it. He's avery powerful superhero. And he has a

(35:15):
scene where in She Hulk, they'retalking and she's scolding him for being a
toxic male and saying, how youdon't have to deal with what I have
to deal with every day. I'mangry every day because people judge me,
they put me in a corner,they stereotype me as a woman, they
hold me back as a woman.They talk down to me, they look

(35:36):
down at me. You don't knowhow hard my life is. And she's
talking to the guy that saved theworld. But we're supposed to look at
that speech because she's giving and applaudher. She's just taken down one of
the most you know what I mean, intellectually speaking, morally speaking, she's
just dressed down one of those powerfulmen in the world. She's emasculated him.

(35:59):
And that's the whole crux of theshow. Then that's the whole vibe
of Disney Marvel right now, andthe results. The proof is in the
pudding. You can sit there andbe sour about my description of that all
you want, but the proof isin the pudding. Disney's lost a billion
dollars in the in the last yearalone, and that's not just because of

(36:20):
the parts. My theory is thatthe studios want these strikes to go on
because they know a purge and needsto happen. They need to purge all
these di folks that they were forcedto hire by HR and by the Twitter
mobs, and those people are losingthe money hand over fist because people respond
to entertainment that reflects reality in afantastical way. And men and women are

(36:44):
different, and a woman being equalto a man does not mean a woman
becoming a man. And that isthe message that feminism has been selling us
for years, and it is warpingthe relationship between men and women. Oh
my gosh, I'm ranting so much. We tell them all their instincts are

(37:04):
toxic, and we elevate men whoseek to be feminine, So the man
who wants to be more sensitive,we elevate guys like Dylan mulvaney, who
says he's a girl now three hundredand sixty five days of being a girl.
We give him a bud Light sponsorship. We elevate the feminine in fashion

(37:28):
and in music. Well nas Harrystyles, it's very feminized. Oh yeah,
we had rock and rollers back.It's not new. There's David Bowie
and even in medieval times you hadmen like that. But now we've idealized.
Let's look at the rise of Kpop. Look at how popular K

(37:50):
pop is. I'm obsessed with thecultural spread of K pop. It's fascinating.
But look at the young men thatare considered hot and K pop.
To my western forty nine year oldeyes, they're very feminine looking, extremely
look like girls. I was talkingto my gay BFF recently. He was

(38:13):
saying the same thing. He's like, I don't understand these K pop stars
look like young women. And Ionce asked my son, because he's into
all types of Asian culture and particularlyin entertainment, which is not unusual for
a boy from southern California, ahigh Asian population, so we there's a

(38:35):
lot of cultural overlap here. AndI asked him, I'm like, what
is it that the girls find soattractive? I look at these boys,
and I see little girls. Andhe said he was seventeen when he said
this. I still remember, andI think it was very astute. He
said, girls like seeing themselves reflectedin the boys that they like, so

(38:57):
those boys look more like them.And I was like, WHOA, that
sounds like narcissism. And he askedme what narcissism was, and when I
told him, he was like,yeah, pretty much to his teenage boy
eyes. And he was one ofthose boys who was like, I don't
I don't know how to navigate thedating pool when I come from a traditional

(39:19):
family and what these girls are askingof me these days as bizarre. He
never knew how to navigate that he'sin college now. It's probably probably a
lot never in college now. Idon't ask and don't want to know.
But he did recognize then that thegirls were self self absorbed and self obsessed,
probably thanks to social media, andI think this is another problem.

(39:45):
Hot topics, the news of theday, in depth interviews, and a
whole lot more. This is TheOutlaws Radio Show. Subscribe to the show
on Apple, Spotify, iHeart,or wherever you get your podcast today.
That's out a Us. The Outlawsradio show, an FCB podcast. Social

(40:07):
media is warping mating standards. It'sallow it's allowing for the swiping. This
is a male problem and a femaleproblem. So if I do an episode
aimed at the guys later and Ithink I will now one of the things,
I'm probably gonna pinpoint this is aproblem for both sexes, both genders.

(40:28):
Dating apps seemed great in the beginning. I was all for them,
but now they are a scourge.They are a scorge not only because it
allows you to be so casual andjust visual, but it allows you to
fall for the lie that the personthat is right for you is going to

(40:52):
have all the qualities that you want. If I had to write down what
I thought was going to be theperfect husband for me when I was sixteen
or seventeen, so I had friendsthat wrote that and they got what they
wanted. But if I had writtendown at sixteen what I wanted in a
husband, I never would have had. I would not be married to the
man I'm married to right now.He is the opposite of everything I would

(41:16):
have told you that I needed,except that he was a Christian. I
knew I wanted a man who believedin God and who was a godly man
obviously or maybe not obviously, butthat's what I wanted. Besides that,
he never checked off one other box. And in fact, the first time

(41:37):
he asked me out, I onlywent out with him because no boy had
ever asked me out before. Ihad never been asked out on a date
before. Do we day that hewas my first boyfriend? And honestly he
was my first boyfriend because I waslike, well, what's this about?
And it developed now it was ayear's long process, but we did not

(42:00):
We were on again off him formany years. We came together later on
in our lives, but that initialmeeting with him, that initial relationship,
I was like, Wow, he'snothing like he was. He was popular,
he was a jock, he wasa football player. He was fashionable
and handsome and kind of a player, and all the girls loved him,

(42:23):
and he just that was just theI was a theater geek, you know.
He was just the opposite of everythingthat I thought I would be.
I would gravitate towards. So thedating apps give you the false idea that
what you see listed loves going tothe beach, loves dogs, hates Chihuahua's

(42:47):
that you see that and go,oh yeah, that's a match. That's
a match. That's a match.And then you don't give the people who
might be quality people even the firstchance to meet you and get to know
each other and dig in deeper.That's where you find when you're compatible.

(43:07):
So dating apps take away that firstlevel of finding someone who's compatible, that
necessary first level of meeting someone andthen making decisions based on the layers that
you peel off. Now, onceyou click on a date and you set
up a date, yeah, thenyou can use that date to do that.

(43:28):
But that's you starting at step twoand eliminating step one, and that's
becoming a real problem for people.So social media is having a deep,
deep effect on how women are choosingtheir mates, and not in a good
way. Well, Kira, iflook the reality, no matter what you

(43:49):
say about what's traditional, the realitytoday is is that women, most women
need to work, especially if youlive in an urban area, it's highly
affordable. Most women need to work, women are educated. It doesn't matter
how you wish it would be,Kira, the reality is something different these
days. So what about women whomake more than their husbands earn more than

(44:12):
their husbands, are more hold moreinfluence and power than their husbands, or
than their potential husbands. What aboutus? What are we supposed to do?
I will admit to you that Iam not completely I do not completely
have the answers for you. Thisis all I can offer you is what

(44:34):
I know as a strong willed,very independent and stubborn wife of twenty six
almost twenty seven years. All Ican do is tell you this. You're
right. The reality is often differentthan what we wish it could be.
So what should that look like?I think if you do, there are
relationships that can work where the womanmakes more. If you do, you

(45:00):
have to understand that provider and nurturer, man and woman, hunter, gatherer
and help meet. That's a veryChristian term, but Christians will know what
I mean. These are not rolesthat are based in finances. They're based
in function. So you can makemore money than your husband, But does

(45:23):
he function as the head of yourfamily and the head of your household?
If your response to what I justsaid is, we're not. He's not
the head of the household. We'reequal partners in everything we do. Every
decision gets made equally. There isno head of the home or if your

(45:43):
response is, well, I respecthim, but I'm making most of the
money, so I'm making most ofthe decisions about where this stuff goes,
and he just has to deal withit. That's a disaster in the making.
And you are wrong. You areseeing this wrong. You are not.
You are formed equally because we areall made in the image of God,

(46:04):
and we all have equally important rolesto play, but our roles are
different. And your husband is thatis biblical. The husband is the head
of the house. What does thatmean. That's a whole other conversation.
I don't think I have time fromor because I've been rambling for so longth
but head of the household is morethan just a paycheck. The head of
the household is that this is mydomain, my kingdom. And then right

(46:30):
here, let's let the Bible explainand I'm not doing a good job.
Let the Bible explain it it.Proverbs twelve four. An excellent wife is
the crown of her husband. Butshe who brings shame is like rottenness in
his bones. Are you, asa wife providing a home that a husband
can feel proud of, whether ornot you're in the home. I'm not

(46:52):
saying you've got to be folding clothes. I don't know if you all think
that's what I'm doing all day.Even when I was to stay at home
mom, I wasn't doing that allday, but you I'm not saying that
I've had to do so many qualifying. I have felt like I've made so
many qualifications, and it's because Ithink women are so sensitive about this.
But I think women are so sensitivebecause most women understand that there's something fundamentally

(47:15):
wrong without they're viewing relationships these days, and it hurts to admit that.
But I'm making it me feel likeI have to qualify everything and I shouldn't.
It's taking up too much time.So are you creating a home that
he can feel proud of, whateverhowever that looks like for your family,

(47:35):
for my family, just by wayof example, if this helps you,
what when we were young, whenI was a young mother, making a
home my husband could feel proud offor me meant keeping the home together.
I'm not even going to pretend youguys that I was ever a good housewife

(47:57):
or I just I'm messy, I'mdisorganized, and I don't mean that,
you know how some women say thatand they're like, oh messy, there's
that like again and they say,oh, I'm so messy. And you
go there a house and it's justa couple of blankets not folded up or
something. I'm five steps away frombeing on hoarders. I'm not a clean

(48:19):
person, so I'm not pretending.But to keep a home that he could
come home to and feel comfortable towalk into, to be a woman who
was respected on my community. SoI served the community. I was very
active in the community. People learnedthey could depend on us. When people
in our community needed things, wouldI would take that need and take it

(48:42):
to my husband. You know,so and so needs their bill, their
phone bill paid. So he wentto work every day. He commuted two
hours each way every day almost towork to a job that would provide well
for our family. So he didn'tknow what the needs were in the community.
But I did because I was inthe community every day. Oh so
and so needs or phone bill paid, such and such a needs of bagg

(49:04):
of groceries. So I would helphim nurture the community by being someone who
was a conduit to the community forhim, and also there's great influence of
that. But that's what that meantfor me to create a home for him.
It wasn't about me making making cookiesevery day. It was about me

(49:28):
creating a home that he could feelproud of, creating a family that he
could feel proud of. Meaning Ididn't raise our children to be brats.
We raise them together, of course, But again, my husband, being
the breadwinner, was out of thehouse every day. So women, if
you're most women period, are goingto be the one spending the majority of
time with their children. And Idid, of course, like most women,

(49:49):
and so that meant I was largelyresponsible for their discipline and shaping them
during a lot of the influential hoursof the day. Well, if I
raise unruly brats while my husband isaway, that brings him shame when we're
out in public, when we goto church together, when we go out
together, to have misbehaved kids,and then when he tries to discipline them.

(50:13):
If I'm gonna tell no, don'tdo that, honey, that's emasculating,
ladies. A lot of you momsdo that out there. Stop that.
Stop it. Let your husband disciplinelike a man. You're not a
man, So you believe me.I My husband's a gentlest person in the
world. But there have been timeswhen I've been like, oh no,
stop, please, why are youbeing so mean to the kids. You

(50:37):
got to control that impulse. Butanyways, if I'm creating children that cause
him shame or that he dislikes,Jordan Peters says this all the time.
Don't raise kids that you don't like, that you're not gonna like. You
have to be able to like yourkids. Ladies, you have to raise
children that your husbands are gonna like. I dare say they are. I

(51:00):
know there are, because I've spokento you. There are a few of
you who know your husbands love yourchildren that you've made together, and you
know they don't like those kids.And that's probably your fault too. I
know it is a heavy burden.The idea that men have all the strength
jobs in society is twisted and it'sperverted how we look at the importance of

(51:22):
the jobs we do in the home. Where the cornerstones of the building.
If you look at the building ofa relationship. A matter of fact,
here, that's biblical too. I'mpulled up. Our sons may be as
plants grown up in their youth.Our daughters may be as cornerstones polished after
the similitude of a palace. Withoutthe cornerstone, your building will crumble.

(51:47):
It is an incredibly fundamental job thatcarries vast amounts of weight, and we
have robbed ourselves of the dignity ofthat position, ladies, by trying to
pretend that what we're supposed to bedoing is the same things that men are
doing. And when we do thosejobs, men don't do those jobs.

(52:09):
We're gonna talk about that too.Am I making sense here? Write me
jail Ty at ProtonMail dot com.Clarify this for me, Clarify my thoughts
for me. I feel like I'mrambling, but this is it's on my
mind and heart and I need toget this out. If you are a
woman who makes more money than theman, then you're going to have to

(52:29):
do extra work to make sure thatyou're not holding that over his head,
that that fact does not change whothe headship of the house. It's an
issue of headship, and that yourhusband understands that he even though he doesn't
make the majority of money in thehouse, he is still responsible for providing

(52:53):
for the home and so that mightlook different in different ways, so it
requires an under standing of roles,but it can be done hot topics,
the news of the day, indepth interviews, and a whole lot more.

(53:13):
It's The Outlaws Radio Show. Subscribeto the show on Apples, Spotify,
iHeart, or wherever you get yourpodcast today. That's out Laws The
Outlaws Radio Show, an FCB podcast. What about when women have to step
up because the men aren't present,Yeah, that is that is a shame

(53:37):
and that is a result of thissociety that has turned the relationship of men
and women on its head. Sonow we have a lot of aimless,
purposeless men, and so women havehad to step up and fill the gap.
And you've done a good job.Many of you have done a good
job. You've had to do it, queens, and you did it.

(54:00):
But then when a man does comealong who's like, hey, I want
to provide for you. I wantto be your soft place to land,
and you're like, well, Idon't need you. Well, no man
wants to be told that he's notneeded. You don't either. No one
wants to be told or not needed. But that is the attitude, because
I just want an equal I justwant a partner. But men aren't driven
for partners. They're not driven toequal partners, Ladies, that's why Chris

(54:22):
Evans married to freaking twenty five yearold. He doesn't want a partner that's
equal to him on every level.He wants a partner who compliments him and
compliments the relationship and someone he cangrow with, not someone who's sitting there
in the relationship going you have nothingto offer me except sexual gratification. You'll

(54:45):
get what you ask for then,Ladies, how many I've Readreddit all the
time? My favorite reddits are amI to a Hole or relationship subreddits,
and it's just it's person after person. It's woman after woman after woman,
hundreds of thousands, tens of thousandsof posts of a woman writing and going,

(55:06):
Dear Reddit, I don't know whatto do. I've been living with
my boyfriend for five years. Imake all the money and all he does
is sit around and play video gamesthat he's had five part time jobs in
the last year. And how doI get him to support to support this
house and pay the bills and marryme? Will you set the precedent from
the start you went into the relationship. I'm strong independent women I make my

(55:30):
own money, I pay my ownbills. And guess what I'm going to
read you, something that backs usup or an opinion that echoes my opinion.
I'll say that you went into therelationship from the start as a provider.
And when women this is why womenI don't believe women should be in
the pulpit. It's not that womencan't be in the pulpit. When women

(55:51):
step up to do a job thatmen traditionally do, men just won't do
it. It's not like men doit too. They stop. So a
lot of y'all are doing the jobsin your home that the men are supposed
to be doing, and you thinkyou're leading by example, and they're going,
well, she's doing it, soI don't have to Ladies, you
know this is true? Wives,how true is this? When you do
the stuff that you wish your husbandwould do, does he step up and

(56:12):
go, oh, she's been takingout the trash. I should take out
the trash one day just to benice. No, he don't ever take
out the trash, And then itfesters and then that's an issue, and
then one day it explodes and yougotta go to marriage therapy over it.
He doesn't do it because you doit. Whatever you're driven to do for
your husband, he won't do forhimself. That's a very male instinct.

(56:32):
I hate it, but I'm gonnaI'm gonna accuse Adam of of cursing men
with that. That's original sin.I guess the idea men will not step
up to places where women are alreadyfunctioning. That's how much power you have
as a woman, ladies, that'show much power you have. You have

(56:54):
the power to make a man sitdown and do nothing, or you have
the power to lift up a manand demand he do something. So those
girls who are like inviting those boyfriendsto move into their house, and she
thinks, oh, when he getsin here, then he'll have a place,
and he'll be more stable, andhe'll be so in love with me

(57:15):
that he'll want to provide for me. No, you've already told him what
you're going to do for him,so he has no other motivation to do
anything else. The man that wouldprovide for you is not the man who
would move in for you and letyou pay the bills. Do you understand
what I mean? So already you'restarting off from red flag. That guy
wouldn't even move in with you likethat. Another example from my own relationship.

(57:37):
It took me many years to realizethis because I was a strong independent
woman. I am still, butI didn't understand gender roles because I wasn't.
I wasn't raised in a traditional household. So we have a great dishwasher.
It's fabulous. However, he's stillgot a rinse off the crumbs on
the plate. If you leave toomany food, larger food particles in the

(57:57):
plate, they don't break down inthe dishwasher, and then they sat at
the bottom of that filter. Ultimatelythe filter gets clogged and then that's a
repair call. So my husband wouldnever do that. He saw this fancy
new dishwasher and was like, whydo I need to waste my time rinsing
the dishes. They can go rightin here because we have this amazing dishwasher.
And he would just put them inthe dishwasher, and the dishwasher would

(58:20):
clog, and then I'd have tofigure out how to unclog it, and
I would beg him. I wouldsay, please, honey, please rinse
the dishes. I have to uncloggthis pipe once a week, and it
means I gotta get under the sink, and I gotta do this thing,
and the babies are crawling all over. Please just rinse the All you have
to do is rinse them and makesure there's no food particles on it.
And he would say, oh,okay, whatever. Sure, he would

(58:43):
just say sure, yes, dear, and it would be the same thing.
And then finally I said, youknow what, I'm not going to
complain about this anymore, and I'mnot going to take the dishes out and
re rinse them, and I'm notgoing to fix the clogs. I started
leaving the clogs. And then whenhe would complain about the dishes piling up,
I would say, well, thedishwasher's broke it. Why would why

(59:06):
can't you fix it? Well,there's a clog. I don't know how
to fix it. Highlight. Idon't know how to fix it. Youn't
have to call a repair person.That's five hundred dollars. Well, this
is what happens when and then Irefused to do the dishes until he got
the dishwasher fixed, and when hehad to get under there and fix the
clog, and when he had toshell out five hundred dollars for the repair

(59:30):
man. He started rinsing the dishes. So the thing that I was doing
he didn't do because he didn't haveto, And as soon as I refused
to do it, he stepped up. Does that make sense. That's how
men are. It might not befair, ladies, but that's just how
they are. Whatever you do,he won't. In some cases that's good,

(59:54):
But in many cases, you're doingthe job that a man's supposed to
be doing for your family, andthen you're getting hurt and upset that he's
not voluntarily doing it. You're alreadydoing it. It's not lowering yourself to
defer to a man in your relationship, and a defer even doesn't feel like
an adequate word, but it's notto take on a role that feels complimentary

(01:00:19):
rather than technically a quality based that'snot lowering yourself. It's not lowering yourself
to say I recognize that there's headshipin this family and that that belongs to
my husband, and that I ama nurturer and a support. That's not
lowering yourself. But here's a bigbutt, and this is important, ladies,

(01:00:43):
single ladies, I need you tolisten to me. Especially that's not
lowering yourself to recognize the spiritual headshipof a good man. Because again I'm
gonna I'm about to qualify here,you know what, never mind taking our
I'm done making qualifications, taking toomuch time. Everybody, please, but

(01:01:07):
here's the big butt you need tounderstand, Ladies says, that's a husband
privilege and not a boyfriend privilege.So you never would have caught me saying
any of this stuff about my husbandwhen he was just my boyfriend. When
he was just my boyfriend, youknow, we were we were both equally.
We were both equal because we wereequally providing for ourselves. We were

(01:01:29):
equally pursuing our own goals. Weweren't entering the relationship to support each other
financially, nothing like that. Iif my boyfriend told me, well,
you you're supposed to offer me thiscertain measure of respect, and you need
to understand that I'm making these decisionsfor our relationship and if you don't like

(01:01:50):
it, or there are certain privilegesof headship that belong to husband's not boyfriends.
And that's a privilege of being ahusband, right, that's my husband's
privilege of marrying me. Any otherguy that might approach me with you know,
I want you to do this,or I would love it if you
would do if you would serve ourrelationship in this manner or that. I'm

(01:02:15):
trying not to be too specific becauseI'm people drilled down on that. But
if my husband says that to me, Okay, I'm in this relationship.
We've taken our vows and marriages.Is an institution of servantood, it really
is. So you're both serving eachother, and I'm looking at this as

(01:02:36):
my partner that I'm serving as ashe's serving me. But if any other
man comes up and says to me, Kira, I need you to be
a servant to me, I willbe like, how about I serve my
foot up your butt? Absolutely not. That's a husband privilege, and that

(01:02:58):
guy had to work hard for thatprivilege. He had to pledge his life
to me for the rest of hislife for that privilege. So be careful
about that, Ladies. Be carefulyou're not giving your boyfriends husband privileges,
because that's the whole reason that aman should marry you to get those husband
privileges. Ladies, if you're asingle woman, I'm just reading, I'm

(01:03:19):
just going through the rest of mybillet points because I'm running out of time.
I mean, I'm already out oftime. I've been blabbing. Oh
my gosh, I'm so sorry.I don't know that this podcast is a
winner, but it's a podcast.They can't all be winners. Ladies.
If you're a single woman, donot support a man with your I'm strong
and independent routine. So I kindof just alluded to this. Do not

(01:03:39):
invite a man into your home andthen support him and think that that is
going to be the thing that you'releading by example, and then suddenly he's
going to become what you need himto be, the support that you need
him to be. He's coming intothe relationship seeing that you're providing everything already
for yourself. You got your ownfriends, you got your own house,

(01:04:03):
you got your own bank account,you got your own job, your own
car, your own kids. Youneed him for nothing, and that is
exactly what he'll give you. Togo into that relationship with that attitude is
a red flag from the start,and so you'll only get red flag partners
if from the start of your relationshipyou're supporting a man. This is why

(01:04:26):
I think it's that's a red flagit's not gonna work. Ladies. This
is why I think again. Theseare traditional, little concepts that seem ridiculously
traditional and antiquated and should mean nothing. They mean everything. Everything's assigned.
Everything's a symbol. Yes, men, you pay for the dates. Do
you know why you pay for thedate? Because it's a small, barely

(01:04:48):
significant symbol of the provision you willmake for a woman later on in life.
Ladies, when the guy looks toyou and says, let's split this,
or you say I'm going to paythis, you're setting up expectations for
the future, a future in whichhe's not your provider and doesn't need to
be. And if that's what youwant, then that's what you'll get,

(01:05:13):
and none of you will like it. I don't care what you say.
You're lying to yourself. If yousay, oh, I don't mind if
I have to provide for a manthe rest of my life, you're lying
because that man that you have toprovide for for the rest of your life
is going to be a man child. Because what did I just say?
A man who doesn't have to dosomething won't whatever a woman is doing,

(01:05:33):
a man won't do. Please rememberthese words. Men want to provide period.
They want Fundamentally, at their core, they want to provide. They
are biologically driven to provide. Andthat is why men who aren't providers become

(01:05:54):
lost. And like man, childrenand women are the maturing force on men.
Marriage is a taming force on themail drive and psyche. We need
ment to be aggressive and go gettersand go out there and slay the dragon
and hit the lion over the headand drag it back to the tent.
Metaphorically speaking, we need men tobe men like that. Of course,
societies need need that, but menneed that too. When they do not

(01:06:20):
fill that role, it creates aweakened man. That's how you get in
cells and and actually do we callAndrew Tate inside. I know a lot
of my audience likes Andrew Tate.Andrew Tate is the natural result of an

(01:06:41):
emasculated culture. I'll go on thistangent for a second. I find Andrew
absolutely vile, But when I listento him talk every now and again,
I'm like, well, that's thetruth, that's the truth. That's the
truth. Right. He says hehas a broken clock. That's my thing,
a broken clock. He says thingsthat feel fundamentally true to young men,

(01:07:02):
and they're not hearing, and soit feels appealing. But then the
other stuff that he is the verydefinition of a toxic male in my mind,
And you listen to the other stuffand he's like, yeah, women
should be my servants and my sexualservants. For every good thing, Angel
Taide says, or right thing,I'll say, there's four million wrong things.

(01:07:24):
I just find him so gross.I don't I am starting to say,
I don't understand why people love him, but I do. I do.
I get it because he's saying thingsthat young men are hungry to hear.
But he is the result of anemasculated male culture. Toxic masculinity isn't

(01:07:45):
created by masculinity, it's created bytoxic femininity, and ladies, we have
created the toxic male because when menare feminized and they don't want to be
feminized, they're driven to be moremasculine, and that's when and that base
male, sinful male character comes out, and that's when you get aggressive males

(01:08:06):
and toxic males when they've been soemasculated that to prove their men, they
go way overboard. When there's balancein a relationship, that's not a worry,
but the word world is out ofbalance, and so you have guys
like Ander Taate and then you havean insul community that thinks he's just the

(01:08:29):
best. But I actually I don'tblame that on masculinity. I blame that
totally on toxic femininity. Men wantto provide, and so when women properly
nurture that, and however that looksfor you, when your family right.
Again, I don't know. Ifyou make more money than your husband and

(01:08:49):
you guys work that out between you. It's and that's none of my business.
What matters is headship and respect andmaking sure that man is a provider
in some kind of way. Andmaybe that's family I've been thinking about.
I'm thinking about my friends right nowthat I'm going to go see my dear

(01:09:09):
friends next month. John and Kelly. She's the financial provider of the family.
They both had good jobs when theymet, and but she's a doctor
and she never want she wanted kids, but she didn't want to stay at
home with kids. She wanted topursue a medical career. And John was
a pilot and he had a greatcareer. He was very successful, but

(01:09:31):
he was kind of done with thecareer. When he married Kelly and they
sat down and they hash had aplan. They talked about it and John
said, I want to raise thefamily. I want to stay home with
the kids. He's the best dadI know. He's like a great stay
at home dad. Kelly goes outand works. They make that work.
There's exceptions to every role. Ilook at John and Kelly and I think
they've they've done quite well for themselves. Now I don't I've never been a

(01:09:53):
party to their most intimate conversations whenthey're struggling or I don't know what they're
per personal struggles are in relation tothat. But I do know that what
Kelly hasn't done is emasculated John.He is very much the head of their
household, even though Kelly goes towork every day and earns. I hope

(01:10:15):
they don't mind. I'm sorry thatI don't think they mind. She goes
to work every day, brings homethe bacon, and has been through almost
their entire marriage. But John isvery much a decision maker in their household.
He's very much a leader for theirfamily, a leader for their children.
You never get the idea that thereis an unbalanced in their imbalance in

(01:10:40):
their relationship, so it can work, but the concept of headship still has
to be there. They're both Christiansand that matters only because I say this
only because we have a biblical modelfor headship that we often follow. Okay,
wrapping it up here, I'm pullingin im. Hang on you so
great. You guys are doing awesomehot topics, the news of the day,

(01:11:08):
in depth interviews, and a wholelot more. It's The Outlaws Radio
Show. Subscribe to the show onApple, Spotify, iHeart, or wherever
you get your podcast today. That'sout Laws, The Outlaws Radio Show,
an FCB podcasts. If ladies,if you're putting out the vibe that you're

(01:11:30):
not open to a supportive partner andthat taking support of any kind is beneath
you, then you'll only find menbeneath you. And I think that's the
vibe a lot of us are puttingout, and that us why there are
so many men out there going.And social media is part of the problem
too. I mean, if youjust have your head and TikTok all day,
you would think that all women thinkthis way, right, because there's

(01:11:54):
there's thirst trap after thirst trap outthere. On TikTok like, oh,
I won't go with a man whomakes less than this, and I need
this kind of whip, and Ineed this kind of ride. And you
know they those women are out there, and because social media is saturated with
them, young men might get theidea that all women are like that,
and certainly not, I would saythe majority aren't. I'm going to I

(01:12:17):
am, I've already made the decision. Now I'm going to talk to you
young men next maybe not next week, but the next time I do a
similar relationships, alot of all youngmen will be like, yeah, these
women, where are you looking forthese women? Like, part of the
problem is where you're looking. Myfriends, they're out there. I know

(01:12:38):
they are because I live with them. I live with them and around them.
All these women are out there.They feel that they're being drowned out
by TikTok women. So I'll giveyou an example of why I think it
is biolological imperative for men to providebesides the evidence of all of human history,

(01:13:00):
I'll give you a small analogy.I was this summer hanging out with
my mom and our extended family upin Canada, and my older brother who's
kind of a new older brother.He was my mom had him when she
was a teenager and gave him upfor adoption, and so he's come back
to us later in his life andhe's a lovely man. He's a great

(01:13:23):
family. We very much enjoy spendingtime with them. So he was.
He was there with his family,and he's I think he's like three or
I think it's like four years olderthan me. They were all sitting on
this deck. My husband's cooking,because that's what my husband does. I
never you know, men need tobe occupied. My husband will occupy himself

(01:13:45):
in the kitchen. He loves tocook. He loves preparing food for people.
That's how he provides. It's oneof the ways he provides. So
he was busy. But my olderbrother, who is a landscaper so used
to working with his hands and doingstuff, was quote relaxing. I'm using
air quotes. It's hard for somemen to relax. I could tell he

(01:14:08):
was nancy. Women were busy.My husband was busy. We would have
been fine for him to sit therewith a beer and relax, but I
wanted some chairs brought from the yardup to the decks. So I said,
hey, bro, would you gograb those chairs for me and bring
them up? And he sprung upand went to get the chairs and brought
them all up, and my momwas like, oh you Literally, she's

(01:14:29):
kind of joking, but she's like, oh you, you little lazy bratt.
You're such a princess. You couldn'tgo get those chairs for yourself.
Now, I want you to understandsomething about my mom. She's a single
woman and has been for a verylong time. And even when she was
in a relationship, it was atoxic relationship with a man that she was
providing for her. So she hasa warped idea of what the relationship between

(01:14:49):
men and women are. Now.I've been in a traditional marriage for twenty
six years, so I know thatwhen I asked my husband to help me
to do something, particularly that requiresa strength that I don't have or don't
want to exhibit, I could havetaken the deck chairs up. But y'all
know what I mean. He lovesdoing that. That brings him pleasure to

(01:15:12):
be able to do that. Mybrother was happy to go get those chairs.
It gave him something to do,and he was providing for us in
that little way. When my momsaw was me being too lazy. She
didn't understand that what I was doingwas giving him a job because that's what
he wanted. He doesn't want tosit there and sip on a beer.
He wants to provide some kind ofservice because he's just biologically driven to do

(01:15:33):
so. Ladies, if you've neverdone this, try this experiment the next
time you're on in public. Aska man to do something for you pass
Would you pass me that or wouldyou mind reaching for that thing. I'm
not saying like make up being adamsel in distress, but like if there's

(01:15:54):
a tad, there's that. Likeagain, I'm trying, if there's a
task that key that perhaps requires abit of strain on your part, you've
got to get the step ladder outto reach for it, ask a man
and see what the reaction is andjust gauge how that makes you feel.

(01:16:15):
And then, if you've never donethat before, right in and tell me
what your experience was. J L. J lt Y at ProtonMail dot com.
I dare say that more men wishyou would ask them to do more,
And I think I'm right about that. It's huberst to think you have
all the time in the world,ladies. And so if you think you

(01:16:35):
might want marriage and family someday,and the majority of you will, If
ten of you right now are listeningto my voice saying I don't want those
things, nine of you will changeyour mind. Most of you will change
it when it's too late. SoI just want to be the one to
tell you, and whatever decisions youmake, I'm not going to judge you

(01:16:56):
for it. I'm not going tothink you're less of a woman because you've
led your life differently or made differentchoices. I just want you to know.
I just want you to know.I just want I don't want you
to be like a friend of minewho got to fifty and genuinely thought that
at fifty years old it would beeasy for her to start a family,
and then went to the doctor andthe doctor was like, well, no,

(01:17:17):
these primers are over. There aresome things that very very rich people
do at this age, but you'renot a candidate for any of that.
You're never going to bear a child. She was devastated because the entire medical
industry had decided that it wasn't verynice to tell women that, so they
stopped. So no one had evertold her. She was devastated to hear

(01:17:40):
me. She spent her first partof her life preparing to have a career
in entertainment, and she did that, and she did well, and then
when she was ready to take astep back and have a family, that
was not that option was not therefor her. And she was devastated.
And I'll never forget the words,she said, which is why I do
this, she said, And noone ever told me because she's older,

(01:18:04):
so she grew up in really theheart of modern feminism. No one ever
told her. So don't think ofthis as me judging you, ladies,
Please think of me. Is thistrying to tell you, give you a
fair warning. You don't have allthe time in the world. And the
older you get, the harder it'sgoing to be for you to secure all
these things. Because hashtag Chris Evans, the men, the peers, the

(01:18:29):
men you consider on you consider toquote that one girl, you're equal.
They're not looking for you. They'renot looking for their quote equal. They're
looking for someone who's got enough humilityto know that there's growing left to do.
I think a lot of women aredriving away good partners because you have
a false standard of what a partneris. Part of what you think a

(01:18:54):
partner is is an equal. Stopthinking that way. Don't think of it
as equal qual. Those two wordsdo not play a part in a relationship.
Stop thinking that way. That's sucha modern dare I say, Marxist
way for lack of a better term, way to think that all of these
things are just separated equally, andthen once we get the right balance,

(01:19:15):
the relationship is perfect. Every relationshiphas seasons and ups and downs. And
sometimes my husband's doing more for thefamily and I'm doing less. And sometimes
I'm doing more for the family andhe's doing less. And sometimes he's making
the money we need, and sometimesI'm making the money we need. Almost

(01:19:36):
never but occasionally recognizing that we havesignificantly important roles to play in the family,
but they are also significantly different.And when I try to take on
his role, I make things harderfor everybody because then he doesn't need to
do that role. I harken backto my friends John and Kelly, who

(01:20:00):
have figured out this for their relationship. So I'm not saying it can't be
done. The issue here is headshipand respect. It's not equality. If
you want a husband, if youwant children, ladies. In this day
and age, it's something you haveto prioritize. You don't have to be
working towards it, but it's somethingyou have to be able to say to

(01:20:25):
yourself, Yeah, I do wantthis, and so the things that I'm
going to choose for my life arealways going to be in light of the
idea that what I want is marriageand family. So that's the vibe you
put out that I know a lotof y'all are out door, Kira.
I've always wanted to be married andhave kids, and that right man never
came along. And I believe mostof you, but some of you,

(01:20:45):
I think are lying to yourselves andto me. I think some of you,
I'm gonna have Adam Yanser come backon talk about this. He says
this too. But I think someof you have not did not priority right
you. You thought you were entitledto do one thing when you were twenty
and then have what you wanted atthirty five because you think, well,

(01:21:09):
thirty five is still young. Wellnow I'm ready, It's not that young.
When you're a woman wanting to bea mother and a wife, it's
not that young. And so Ithink some of you have lied to yourselves.
You've gone to college and you've prioritizedthat. And then you left college
and you wanted to date. Andyou when you were twenty twenty five,
did you say, oh, Ijust want to have fun. I just
want to have fun. Well,that was you prioritizing something else. So

(01:21:32):
you did you didn't prioritize it,you and and that's an energy, that's
a vibe you put out. Iwas. You had met me when I
was twenty one, you would haveseen a young woman who was very independent,
supported her seven have parental support.No one paid my bills ever.
I paid for college, I paidfor my car, I paid I supported

(01:21:57):
myself. I was basically when Ileft home, that was it. I
left home at seventeen and that wasit. Boom done gone. I went
back to visit. I never wentback to live. You would have seen
that strong, independent, feisty,feminist young woman. But I knew I
wanted marriage, marriage. I didn'tknow I wanted kids, but I knew
I wanted marriage. I knew Iwanted that because to me, that was

(01:22:20):
biblical. And I was so inlove with God. I was so in
love with the model he set upfor the family and humans I knew I
wanted that Self's the vibe I putout that was just in my energy,
that I'm a woman who could bea supportive partner because it's what I wanted
to be. So don't make sureyou're not lying to yourselves about anything,

(01:22:45):
ladies. And if you're not,and you're just the person who's been waiting
patiently and that guy hasn't come alongand you want that, I want that
for you too, and I hopethat you get it. But if not,
there are still so many wonderful andI have listeners in this audience who
have written me and told me thisas well. My life is fulfilled in

(01:23:05):
many ways and I'm grateful for that. So you don't need husband and kids
to fulfill you, but if that'syour goal, you need to be deliberate
about it. And by the way, I feel like we say that too
much. You don't need a husbandand children to fulfill you. We don't
tell women enough that those things arefulfilling. We feel like we're being like

(01:23:28):
snobby or something. There's that we'reagin like. We feel like we're being
snobby or something to say that,And I think the result has been to
drive people to believe the opposite,that somehow it's not fulfilling to have those
things. Those things are immensely fulfilling, and I do believe most women should
want that. I want to readfrom you a little bit from this article

(01:23:51):
from a website called Desiring God.But this woman named Abigail Dodds wrote article.
It's from twenty sixteen. She callsthe beauty of womanhood. Her uniqueness
makes her essential. And maybe Ishouldn't read it because then you're gonna be
like, why did I listen tothis whole whole rambling podcast when she's so

(01:24:14):
concisely put it in one article?There, here we go. Yeah,
the vision of our culture offers asad sorry for the puppy. I have
a foster puppy. He's a yipper. The vision our culture offers is a
sad consolation that exchanges the glory offeminine strength for a treadmill race to nowhere.
It squanders the kind of influence thathas found primarily in the soil of

(01:24:38):
the home. The home, thatcenter of all learning, the heart of
nation building, the dispenser of love, instability, the venue for gospel,
hospitality for single and married alike.In short, the footings of humanity.
This home based influence can last fora thousand generations. Yet our culture urges

(01:25:01):
us to cast aside for the pursuitof rewards a little less off in the
distance, and certainly ones that don'trequire diapering. And what does it offer
in return? Women who strive againstthemselves at war with the seeming redundancy of
two X chromosomes in a competition wewere never made for and in our hearts
don't really want to win. Forwhen a woman sets herself up alongside a

(01:25:24):
man as made for the same thingsand without distinction, the result is not
uniformity, but rather a reverse order. Indeed, in order for her to
become like a man, he mustbecome less and less like one. Boom
boom boom. What did I say, ladies? Would you do a man
won't do? And that's something thatmost women, even the most ardent feminists,

(01:25:46):
recoil at in their heart, notbecause femininity is detestable, but because
on a man it is grotesque.Feminine glory is suited only for a woman,
not because men and women have somethinghave nothing in common. We have
everything in common as bone of thesame bone, flesh of the same flesh,
but because of our saneness only makessense in light of the triune God,

(01:26:11):
who is distinct in three persons.When we forsake our feminine glory in
pursuit of the uniqueness that belongs tomen, we abandon our god given glory.
We become usurpers, persistently insisting thatour uterus and biology are equal to
nothing. Irrelevant. Women believe thelie that in order to be relevant in

(01:26:33):
a man's world, you need tobecome like a man. When the opposite
is true. Do you want tobecome relevant, then shock the world and
be what you were made to be, a fearless, unflappable, god fearing
woman. Do not abandon the verydifferences that make you essential. The unique

(01:26:56):
influence of a godly woman is transformingthings. She transforms a promising bachelor into
a purposeful, respected husband. Hegives his seed, and by some miracle
and mystery, God has designed her. But God has designed her body to
grow and nurture a new person.In this transformative role, whether single or

(01:27:19):
married, a woman mimics her savior. Like him, she submits to another's
will. Also, like him,God uses her to take what was useless
on its own and shape it intoglory, dirty things, clean, chaos
turned to order, an empty kitchenoverflowing with life and food, children and
want of knowledge and truth, anda mother eager to teach, a man

(01:27:42):
in need of help and counsel,and a woman fit to give it.
Friends and neighbors with a thirst forthe truth, and a woman opening her
home and heart to share it withthem. A woman is a prism that
takes in light and turns it intoan array of greater, fuller glory,
so that those around her now seethe rainbow that was contained in the being.

(01:28:05):
Oh, I love it. Ishould have just read this article from
the start. She says everything perfectlyGod God's design outlined in the Scripture is
a vision for womanhood that is notjust right and to be obeyed. It
is experientially better than all the worldhas to offer. And it doesn't just

(01:28:26):
apply to those who are married ormothers. Single women of any age are
meant for full Godly womanhood, tobe a mother in the deepest sense that
is spiritually nurturing and growing all ofGod's all that God's given her. So
you have the spirit. You havethat spirit in you even if you don't
have the little ones running around andmen are attracted to that. How many

(01:28:48):
of you, even you secular ladies, this is me talking. I'm not
reading you secular ladies who have beenliving cohabitating with your men, go listen
to my episode on cohabitation. Howmany of you got a guy and he
was like, even you're you're young, you're professional, you're upwardly mobile,
you don't want kids. But Ibet you that guy moved in with you

(01:29:09):
and he was like, oh wow, decorations, right, you You made
this house some kind of home forhim, and he recognized that that's just
a small sliver of what your relationto a man is. So this is
very true. Even if you're notthinking about being a housewife, you're still

(01:29:30):
a nurturer or a mother, andmen recognize that. She goes on to
say God has made us for glorywomen, not glory that terminates on us,
but glory that spends itself glorifying everythinggiven to us, and points in
all things to Christ, who isthe radiance of the glory of God,
the Savior and the ultimate transforming One. And as we behold him, his

(01:29:55):
perfection, his saving work, hisglorious face, we are changed from one
degree of glory to the other.I think, ladies, that we have
deliberately set down our crown of gloryand picked up one that doesn't belong,
that never belonged to us in thename of equality, thinking that us being

(01:30:19):
equal in society meant us being likemen, and I think that's misogynists.
I think that's the most anti feministthing ever. That we're supposed to be
as strong as men are. Superheroesare supposed to be the same kind as
male superheroes. We're supposed to earnthe same as men, provide the same
things as men, act like men, treat sex like men, be aggressive

(01:30:44):
as men. I guess you'll getwhat you ask for, and so just
remember that you'll get what you askfor. And if you're not getting what
you ask for, and it's somethinglike a husband and children and that's what
you've been asking for and you're notgetting it, I don't presume to say
that, well, you're doing allof these things wrong. And that's the

(01:31:08):
reason. From my experience again,this is this is I can only advise
you. I haven't lived this,but from my experience and watching my female
friends, you know it takes alot of self reflection, but also sometimes
it is just waiting. It's waiting. This has been a lot longer than

(01:31:29):
I wanted it to be. It'sbecause I've been rambling a lot, and
I'm sorry. Maybe you can helpclarify some of this for me, even
if you think I'm wrong. I'dlove to hear from you if you think
I'm wrong. J L. TY a ProtonMail dot com. J L.
T Y at ProtonMail dot com.Why is it that men don't feel
like they can measure up to women'sstandards these days in the dating pool?

(01:31:50):
And what can women do to changethat or can they? I think I've
laid out a plan for why.I think I've laid out the reason for
why they feel that way, andI think I've laid out a plan for
to help them not feel that wayladies. But at the end of the
day, if you're sitting around goingwhy am I not finding this kind of

(01:32:11):
guy? The best best thing todo is to go out and find people
who have and make them your friendsand learn from them and learn what kind
of relationship they have and what theydid when they were recording or dating,
and learn you don't. If youwant to learn how to fix a car,
you don't go sit up at thebakery and watch the baker make cupcakes.

(01:32:32):
He can't teach you how to fixa car. You gotta go to
a mechanic and watch what he's doing. If you want a solid biblical marriage
and family, surround yourself with thosepeople and find out how they're living.
But maybe I'm wrong. Jail twitProtonMail dot com. Don't forget describe to

(01:32:53):
subscribe and like this show, reallyappreciate that. If you would leave me
a review, I would still verymuch appreciate it, and go buy my
book drawing Lines Why conservatives need tobegin, Why conservatives need to battle fiercely
in the arena of ideas. Andplease sign up for my substack. That's

(01:33:14):
a way you can really help.Just cure Davis dot substat dot com.
Go ahead, there's a free side, there's a pay side. I appreciate
your financial support, of course.It helps keep my voice on the airwaves
and on the pages. I amsorry for those I have offended today,
for anyone that I have made feelless than or who thinks that I look
down on you, because perhaps youhaven't found the same marriage and family path

(01:33:40):
that I have. Please know,I don't judge you. I only seek
to tell you a truth that Idon't think enough people are saying out loud
because it's been lost in the eraof feminism. And then we've come to
a place where it feels offensive tosay those things, and we are robbing
young women of valuable information that theywill need moving forward. So I'm only

(01:34:03):
looking at this as as me tellingyou the truth about some things, but
you making your own decisions and howeverthat works out for you. I'm here.
I'm not judging you. I'm notconsidering you any less of a person
than I am or anybody else.I promise you. I want you to
be fulfilled and happy, and Ithink there is great fulfillment in marriage and

(01:34:24):
family. I do. And mostwomen should be married and most women should
have children. All right, everybody, until we talk again. Every once
in a while, just remember tostop and listen to yourself. That we

(01:34:45):
won and we want to say,oh we got it. Does no want
to get tatto? Just gonna beokay that we won and we won't say
oh we got it. Does noone can take that away? Okay,

(01:35:05):
this has been a presentation of theFCB podcast Network, where real talk lifts.
Visit us online at FCB podcasts dotcom.