November 25, 2025 • 45 mins
This podcast edition of Kenny Webster's Pursuit of Happiness features comedian Jesse Peyton and Houston Mayor John Whitmire. ( @KennethRWebster )
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jack gannon government sucks Soon of happiness. Radio is DeLux.
Liberty and freedom will make you smile. A suit of
happening us on your radio to al Justice, Jeburg Librise.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Okay, exciting news, breaking news, this just happened. If you
like music. The Michael Jackson biopic will be split into
two parts.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
It'll be called the Black Half and the White Half. Hi, everybody,
I'm Kenny Webster. Thank you much so much for joining
us this afternoon. This is a big show. It's okay,
so it's Tuesday afternoon. My buddy, one of my best friends,
is here in the studio right now.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Comedian Jesse Payton is here.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
And if you guys stick around in a little bit
a very special treat at the end of the show.
Mayor John Whitmeyer very rarely does any interviews. We've got
Mayor John Whitmeyer probably I think the best big city
mayor in America right now.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Just so happens.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'm lucky enough to live in his city, so I'm
excited about that.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
And that is crazy. Jesse Payton.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Imagine that comedian Jesse Payton, the foul mouths right wing comic,
John Whittmeier, the common sense, moderate democrat mayor.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
That's gotta be the first time that's ever happened.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Yeah, I'm excited to be in the room with a
city worker where I'm not gonna be in handcuffs. Ken
Webster's Pursuit of Happiness a radio show that's just as
good when you're driving around Soba as it is when
you're drunk at home.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
U the new Miss America is from Mexico. Ironically, her
crown features a lot of ice. Jesse Peyton I got
a little whimper out of him. I got something. Jesse
is one of those guys. He's a professional comedian. He's
in studio right now. And if you're funny in front
of Jesse, because he hears so many jokes, so go,
yeah that works. Normal people will be like hah. Jesse's like,
(01:55):
oh that works, that's good. That is how Jesse reacts
to comedy.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
I would like to highlight the fact that when you
did that joke, I was less than quiet.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
You were, what wouldn't I got nothing from you? No? No,
I can I get a round two on that one?
You got another one? All right? Another? All right?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Elon Musk's AI assistant Grock bragged about his oral sex skills.
Now we know how he got Tesla's shareholders to give
him a trillion dollars.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
No, I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Hell, is this thing on? Is this Jessea Payton in
the building?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Probably the funniest guy I know, probably the funniest person
most people know.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
There's a reason other comedians hate you.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
You are not new on the scene, You've been around
for a while, but but you surpassed a lot of
other comics from your community. You're seeing your industry and
that has created haters for you and anyone out there
that might not be a comedian, a welder, a small
business owner, a guy that you know that that is
a even if they don't do what you do for
a living.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I gotta think there's something very familiar about that sentiment.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
No, absolutely, And it's and it's less about the uh,
it's hatred or jealousy. It's more about a political stance.
I'm a right leaning comic and an entertainment across the board.
There's not a lot of space for conservativism or you know,
being libertarian, and I am and I have radical beliefs,
like there's two genders.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
What.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Yes, I'm learned that when I was six, Boys have
a penis, Girls have vagina, Boys have a penis Vagina.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Which is also the same song played on the elevators
on Epstein Island.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
That's correct, exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
They're like old men in their penises, little girls in
their vaginas.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Hi everybody, Oh, I forgot to.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Mention we're on the radio. We're also live streaming on
social media. Jesse and I spent the weekend hanging out
in golf Port. Well, we were in Bay Saint Louis.
We were at the Silver Slipper casino. Boy, I love
those crableggs. I could eat a lot of crab leggs.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Dude.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yeah, yeah, it was great. That whole trip was so
much fun.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
Man.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I always have a good time. We had a good weekend.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
And Jesse, you're the only guy I know who goes
to because like Silver Slippers, a fun casino.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And I'm not a gambler. I'll play blackjack.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
If I spend five hundred bucks at the black Tack table,
I think I'm entertained. It's fine. I lost the money.
I've never seen you lose money at a casino. Yeah,
that's because I don't post my losses. Kenny, Ah, but yeah, no,
I do.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
I love to gamble, but I'm the type of person
I'll take five thousand dollars trying to win one thousand.
I don't try to take one thousand trying to win
fifty thousand.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
So it's unreasonable, unrealistic. But you are a professional poker player.
I was the night.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Can I tell the story about Operation Comedy Therapy this year?
This won't embarrass you. No Operation Comedy Therapy me Jesse, Peyton,
Chad prayther Eric Knowles. This was the biggest one yet.
We sold hundreds of tickets. We've been doing it for
over a decade. I could remember when we first started
doing those. It was twenty disabled military veterans and we
couldn't serve beer because they were all in a treatment program.
(04:54):
And so it's changed a lot since then. It's gotten
bigger and bigger. And anyway, this year, hundreds of people
there at the Bad Astronaut Brewing Company. The press is there,
the media is a journalist there, listeners and politicians running
for officers. All these people Jesse paid in the organizer
of the event nowhere to be seen.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Where's Jesse.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Jesse is off in the corner in this giant facility.
He's off in the corner with an iPad in front
of him, looking at his iPad like this, watching football
games on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Jesse, what's going on over there?
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I can't talk. I just lost five thousand dollars the
next day. So we make a bunch of money for charity.
Jesse loses money the next day. I called Jesse to
thank him, obviously for organizing this event with us every year.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
He does an awesome job. Jesse, why is it so loud?
Where are you? He says, I'm driving to Lake Charles.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I got to make the money back from that game
that was football games yesterday?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And how did that go?
Speaker 6 (05:47):
It went?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Well? You made it, Pat, I made it. Bet to
say I made exactly the number I made.
Speaker 7 (05:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
I went down there and I was like, as soon
as I hit this number, I'm leaving. And I hit
the number and left.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
All right.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
So when you're in Lake Charles, don't they have What
do they have there?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
They have everything? No, but they have Drago's food.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I'm a fat kid deep down inside.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I remember when you were a fat kid deep down outside.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
It's true. He's right about that.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
So okay, So on that note, did you know, we
have a new partisan, polarizing issue, eating with a fork.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Yes you've heard about this. I didn't know you were racists, Yes,
you and your utensils. I actually embraced this.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
This is the silliest, dumbest thing ever since Zorhan Mom
Donnie ran for mayor. Now you have people on the
far left saying that forks are an example of colonialism
and white supremacy. And I think this is great because
if there's people that have never given a damn about
politics before, they don't care about the economy. Maybe you're
a rich kid. You don't care about immigration. You're not
losing your job to some immigrant. You don't care about
(06:49):
gun rights, you live in a gated community.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
You don't care. You don't care.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
You don't care, not a woman not getting an abortion.
We've suddenly got a thing. If you don't want sticky
fingers and you and you like, and you don't want
to eat with your hands. Now, Jesse Peyton, that is
a polarizing issue. Watch this absurdly stupid video. Hang on,
I got to turn the music off. Here, let me
pause that here.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Watch this all right, So we're watching.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Those of you listening on the radio that don't get
what we're looking at right now. It's an Indian girl.
I'm gosh, could be Sri Lanka and I have no idea.
And they're just eating rice off a giant leaf. The
leaf is the plate. It doesn't look like there's anything
else on the plate except the rice. And what is
that like one single nugget? I don't know what it is?
What do you what do you immediately know about? This
(07:43):
white guy that's eating is unhappy?
Speaker 4 (07:46):
This guy hates his girl and this is like, these
are the hoops I have to jump through to see
moderately attractive women naked, and I hate my life?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Is it worth it? Would not worth it? Would you
do this? Absolutely not? I would punch her, I would answer, I.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Would figuratively speaking, punch her in her emotions with some logic.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Is what you were about to say? Absolutely obvious? Yes?
What kind of beta male?
Speaker 6 (08:10):
Soy? Boy?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Is this? Yes? Of course, yes, that's what he meant
to say.
Speaker 7 (08:14):
Boy.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Look he does look miserable, though it doesn't he She's thrilled,
she loves it. She's just conquered him using her nethery.
Now look at him, Look at the look in his eye.
Pos it right, hang on, right here, that's the spot.
That's the spot where he says, look, look, you know
I've been defeated by this woman.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
She's better than me. There's nothing I can do about it.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
That's the face of Hey, if somebody would have picked
me in dodgeball when I was eight instead of leaving
me on the sidelines, and I have to go jump
to this horrible poor guy.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I feel bad for this dude.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
What's the saddest thing you ever did to get some
some some snookies some uh, the saddest thing.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I don't, Kenny. I mean, I'm I don't know. You
can't you I know, you know you just won't say
an already.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
I really can't. Well, we didn't prep for this one,
but among us it's okay, we didn't. I don't know,
he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
He's immediately running through all the stories in his head,
thinking what will get me into trouble.
Speaker 6 (09:12):
In what way?
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Yeah, my brain is buffering right now. There's a large database.
I've been you know, I've been in a you know,
I had a little ho phase after my divorce. It's
you know that was eight years ago.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Sure, Yes, eight years ago was your eight years ago
is your ho fees after your divorce. I always feel
like PCD post quoital depression. There's a lot of things
a man will do to to meet or get with
a woman, and then the moment it's over and he
realizes what kind of person she is, there's that moment
of terror in his mind where he thinks, Wow, why
(09:42):
did I do this?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
And nowadays for a lot of like.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
You know, seemingly moderate flyover middle Americans, cisgendered, heteronormative Caucasian
men racists. Yeah, well that's a good segue to this,
Jesse Payton. It has never been cooler to be racist.
If eating with a fork is racist, right, obviously it is.
We all agree, that's a no brainer. How would you
define this?
Speaker 8 (10:04):
I love to overcharge white people and organizations and do
pro bono work for black works. And that's just me
being very blunt. I will give them ridiculous rates, and
then I'll have like a nonprofit or black org or
somebody doing some work and be like, I've only got
this much money, and I'm like keep it. A white person,
just cut me a check.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Listen, do this for free.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
The funny part is she thinks that's the flex. The
white dude gave you the money, right, he slept great,
he had extra money to give you, and you talk
about how you took advantage of him. Well, you know
what kind of pile he's sleeping on. He's Uncle Scrooging
swimming through his gold coins. Right now, you caught one shekel.
(10:48):
You want to brag to the other rats how you
got over on Uncle Scrooge.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Also, if you're the white guy that hires this woman
and you see this video in this kind of telling
you next time you hire someone you're being overcharged by
someone that openly hates you.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I don't Yeah, look I don't. I don't care.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
You know me, we we hang out with all colored
people women, men, Yeah, I don't care. Yeah, you know
I my friends are white, black, brown, whatever. But if
I saw one of them charge me for a service
and then turn around and be like this sucker, what
a mass over here? Look, this isn't about race to me,
I'm just not going to hire you anymore after that.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Of course not. That's yeah, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Is it possible that part of the reason why this
woman feels like she's being oppressed by white people is
because she feels very comfortable openly denigrating white people, and
reasonable white people are now distancing themselves from her.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Or what if the shoe was on the other foot,
What if that was me going, Hey, every time a
black dude comes up, I charge them triple because they're stupid,
and then I give it to a white I would
be crucified for saying something like that, and she's glorified
for it.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
It's it's wild.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
But you do hire a lot of comedians, right, yes,
and you pay the white connics more, right never, you.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Know, I make it a point when I do comedy showcases,
go back and look through the flyers. I try to
put a white, a black, and a woman on every show.
Not because I need to. There are my shows. I
can do whatever I want. I just think that it's
good for the show.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Well, and it's more, there's gonna be a lot of
people in the audience that are mixed or diverse.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
So yes, I it's but I would never pay Yeah,
I would never pay the you know, the person more
because it's.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
And if you don't and if you don't book a
black comic or a female comic, you're never gonna get
to hook up with a black Chack Jesse, and.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
That's my goal. That's what I that's what I gotta do.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
On the radio shows, I'm so hot they'll literally burn
your eyes.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Fortunately, this is it one of those shows.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
I feel like, never miss you all again, but shoot.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Of Happiness Radio. All right, we're back on the radio now.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
We just took a short intermission, so people watching us
during a commercial break on live streaming we're able to
hear mature comedy we cannot do while we're back on
the radio. Isn't that weird? How seconds we can go
from dirty to clean, dirty to clean?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
How do we do that? How are we so diverse?
Speaker 4 (13:03):
It's you know what, I'm a man of many hats. Kenny,
no cap and if anybody no.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Cap, no cap, no prophylactics. Yeah, I don't know what
either of those are. I don't know what Jo stands for.
Just or or Wellian is what I assume. If you're
just getting connecting, guys. Disney Plus will release a remastered
Beatles documentary over Thanksgiving weekend unless Yoko gets it first.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I guess what are we looking at? What's Donald doing? Donald?
Speaker 6 (13:26):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Donald Trump is pardoning gobble and Wattle. He's pardoning two turkeys.
Now it's my understanding. There's a judge in Chicago that's
already overturning the pardon. Uh this is yeah, I know, unbelievable.
They can't, not even the turkey can get it.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
And I thought.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
My mind went elsewhere when I heard gobble and wattle,
like they sound like they sound like two of my
ex's names in my phone.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
What is that? I gotta go, Kitty Wattle is calling
in my head.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
I was, you know, there's a very innocent part of
me that just does right wing morning talk radio. I
thought you thought it was funny that the president is
pardoning a turkey.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
But it's the word gobble hand wattle.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Yeah, those are two things that each of my exes
are known for.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Well, that's great, that's fantastic. I'm sure she's a sweet girl.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
When you put a girl in your phone, it's like
Brittany from Tomball or Brittany you know Steak forty eight
or you know, some defining characteristic maybe where.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
You met her. I have Ashley Waddle and tarn Gobble.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Have you you met a girl at Steak forty eight?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Jesse, I have bad news for you.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
If you meet a woman at Steak forty eight, she's
an escort. There's no there's no question. Have you ever
looked at the GEO tagged This is real inside Houston stuff.
For those that don't know, Steak forty eight is a
very expensive steakhouse right near this radio station. And there's
two ways to look at a restaurant on Instagram. You
probably know this. You can look at their account, or
you can look at the GEO tag located photos pictures
(14:55):
that people that went to the restaurant posted. If you
look at the Steak forty eight page, it's nothing but
nice pictures of food, pecan pie for Christmas and all that.
If you look at the GEO tagged photos, it's nothing
but the trampiest women you've ever seen with their butt
cheeks hanging out and they're going like this, and I'm I'm.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Here tonight to meet them.
Speaker 7 (15:16):
Man.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
It's nothing but the gold diggingest women, professional women. And
I'm told that that's a place to go meet them at.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Yeah, And I've heard about all those trends, and there's
there's also a neutrin I just heard about this week
where there's older home owning men who allow younger women
to stay with them rent free in exchange for intercourse.
Speaker 6 (15:37):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Wow, and that sounds fantastic. I want one because I'm
tired of paying rent Jesse, Jesse unbelievable, tired of paying rent, Kenny,
I was portest.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Hey, I a question for you about that. So you
meet women at stake forty eight? Have you ever meet
a woman a woman at BUCkies before? I love BUCkies.
There might type, what do you mean they're you're type?
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I like the.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I love Beaver's kinny, I love beaver No, beavers are great. No,
you can definitely say that a white liberal woman from
up North came down to Texas and went to a BUCkies.
What I'm about to show you isn't just a video.
It's representative of a genre of videos. White liberals from
up North will come down to Texas, They'll go to
BUCkies and you're like, I don't get what the big
(16:22):
deal is. It's a clean bathroom with a lot of
different snacks and gas and fuel that you know won't
be at lea at the very least of they won't
overcharge you. Do you want chili flavored dehydrated mango slices?
Do you want you know, beaver nuggets, brisket sandwich. There's
a lot of food there. You're on a road trip.
It's clean. There's no lot lizards. Jesse, real quick, what's
(16:44):
a lot lizard?
Speaker 4 (16:45):
A lot lizard is of a sweet, sweet angel from
heaven that God sent here for to bless all the
hard working truck drivers and gave her no.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Teeth for some root. Okay, I think most people know
it a lot lizard. Anyway, I said, this is a
genre of video. I see these from time to time.
It's only some woman named Becky or Karen Kay. Well, yeah, exactly.
She's not a guy a Karen for sure.
Speaker 9 (17:09):
I met BUCkies right now, and I just am looking
for an explanation of what the hype is like. It is.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
This is hell.
Speaker 9 (17:19):
Someone's like, you gotta go to BUCkies.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
You got?
Speaker 9 (17:21):
I mean, this is like a cracker barrel and a
gas station vomited all over each other.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
You're right, jokes for a living a cracker barrel and
a gas station vomited all over each other.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
I hate that she's using it with negative connotation, because
if I could get a gas, if I could get
gas and a smothered chicken fried steak, sign me the
hell up?
Speaker 6 (17:40):
Can you?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
But shit, dude, I get that there's things that make
the South or the North pros and constant both.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
But BUCkies, BUCkies is what you have beef with here.
Here's the problem.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
She's comparing it to like a galleria shopping mall, and
it should be compared to like a chevron.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Right, that's it.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
And if you compare it to a chevron, where, hey,
while my car, because what's going on right now is
your car is getting gas and you're in this huge
shopping mall getting to do other things and it's moving
so efficiently like a Chick fil a drive through, and
your car is still getting gas.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
So you raise a good point there.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
People look at BUCkies and go it's too crowded, but
kind of like Chick fil A.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
The line looks long.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
But right, But when you meet it in person, it's
catfish to you because it's gonna be small start fished.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Sorry, that's something else.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
It looks bigger in photos when I zoom in and
use photoshop and chat GPT.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Are we talking about the same thing. We're not kidding.
We're talking about my beaver and.
Speaker 9 (18:39):
Then made the ugliest clothes you've ever seen. I'm actually
horrified because I think this.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Is what wait wait, wait, wait wait, she's mad that
you could buy an ugly shirt. Do you not understand
that part of the genius of BUCkies is that you're
on a road trip and maybe you forgot to get
a silly gift for your uncle.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
He doesn't need anything.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
He lives in a ranch in Fredericksburg. He's got three
pickups in a boat. I know, let's get him a
silly shirt with a beaver on it. What you're mad
about that?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
You're a bitch?
Speaker 4 (19:06):
I hate How are you gonna blaspheme something that's like
inherent in our culture, Like it's mind me.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
I think not liking BUCkies is a litmus test to
determine if you should get the f out of Texas.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
I don't get paid to promote BUCkies. I'm not a
Bucky spokesperson. The owner of Bucky's son I think had
a child porn scandal. If I'm not mistaken, right, I'm
not here to promote or sell it.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
I just don't get why you're mad.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
At he's unhappy because this is Texas and in her
restroom there were no men.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yeah, is that what they're mad about.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Yeah, I was right about this. This is not the
guy's fault.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
But technically Bucky's co founder's son wanted on child porn
charge of mid sex videos inquiry.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Yeah, he was caught googling gobble and waddle.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
But what is what's going on right here in his mugshot?
Do you want to describe it or should? I looks
like a Valtrex commercial.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Oh no, Jesse, and don't now. I feel bad we've
missmirched BUCkies. It's not Bucky's fault that someone that's vaguely
gonna buy your merch.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Oh, one hundred percent, I'm gonna buy mar You know
what no one's buying is Exon and Chevron merch.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Yeah, you're right out of here. Yeah, nobody gives a
damn about that. You could buy a surfboard at BUCkies. Yes,
you could take a No, you can't take a shower,
but you can. They don't have a shower because they
don't have It's not a truck stop, right, and I
don't mind a truck stop either.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Sometimes you need methan a hooker. What are you gonna do? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Uh, I want to show you something. This is brilliant
This guy knows how to play the game. There's a
gentleman on anybody who's ever been married before, I've been married.
You have two and Jesse and I were both married
to people that are better than us.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
We failed. Uh, you know what are you gonna do?
Here is a guy who is truly out kicked his coverage.
We're watching a video.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
To those listening on the radio that want to know
what we're looking at right now, we're looking at a
guy who's like a Pittsburgh four and a half and
his wife is probably a Milwaukee eight or whatever.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
It is.
Speaker 6 (20:54):
Pretty.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
She is pretty. Watch the interaction here. She's playing checkers
with her husband. He's playing four dimensional chess. This is
this takedown by him is great?
Speaker 6 (21:03):
Were doing? What could I do with you?
Speaker 5 (21:05):
I would just want to talk to you about a
couple of things because I was thinking if I was
never born, y you would be with someone else.
Speaker 10 (21:13):
Then you were never born, I would be with someone Jejee.
My life started when I met you, so if you
were never born, my life wouldn't have started, so I
would I couldn't be with anybody else because you're the
only person that I think. It doesn't even make sense like,
how could I be with anybody else if you didn't exist? Like,
(21:34):
what sense does that make? I couldn't because you're my
whole world. It's just without you, I don't have a world.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Yes I would.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Yeah, I want to give this guy a guest spot
on Couple's Therapy. Dude, that isn't that is an epic
response to this.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Our Couples Therapy show is a spoof of relationships because
you and I have failed in good ones. And similarly,
I was put in a spot like this. This wasn't
even rehearse, Kenny. But my wife asked me one time.
She was like, Hey, if you could sleep with any
one of my friends, who would it be? And I
replied in order which I don't know the correct answer,
(22:10):
but that was the wrong one.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
I imagine another bad answer would be, oh, I've already
slept with her?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Yeah what would what would I even? You know?
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:18):
No, what like a second time? Or I don't know anyway,
But did Kristen talk to you? Let me text Kristen,
we got impact.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Let me text you're supposed to go to the grave, Kristen.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Let me text Skyler right now. Uh, you got to
admit this guy is creshed.
Speaker 6 (22:32):
God.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Yeah, man, yeah, if you weren't, if you didn't exist.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
Because similarly, I saw a similar couple where they did
one where the woman goes, she walks into the bedroom,
catches her husband off guard, and goes, Uh, this thing says,
would you punch me?
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Would you slap me? For a billion dollars?
Speaker 4 (22:48):
He goes, I would hit you with a shovel for
he goes, I would back over you with the car
for a be He goes, I would slap you for
forty dollars.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Now, obviously we're against that.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Just so we're clear, we're just telling you what the
this was the internet and how it was kind of
funny exactly all right. Last week you were here and
we talked about female journalist Olivia Nuzzy. Olivia Nuzzy is
this young woman who's worked at some of the biggest
news outlets. I think, without having her LinkedIn profile in
front of me, I think she worked at the Washington Pus,
the New York Times, places like that, big news outlets,
(23:20):
and started her career off in a sexual relation. As
a seventeen year old girl when she was still going
to college, hooked up with Keith Olberman do you know
who that is.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, I hooked up with keith Over. Oh is that
right time she got into comedy? You and Keithy could go,
Oh no, that's Chris Pram all right.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
She she more recently got very famous for traveling around
the country with RFK Junior when he was running for president,
and she would send him spicy nudes. And at some
point apparently I don't know if this upset Cheryl Hines,
his wife, the Curb Your Enthusiasm actress. But Olivia Nuzzy
is now she's got a book out, and here's what's
so amazing about this. She now works at Vanity Fair.
(23:57):
Vanity Fair is also Condie Nast book publisher, who I'm
assuming is publishing her book.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I'm not going to read it.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
The New York Post story reads Vanity Fair to publish
abstract nude portrait of Olivia Nuzzy as scandal plague journalist
accused of shirking job duties. In an effort to make
a point about how women in the media are sometimes oppressed,
Olivia Nazzy wrote a book about how she selept with
these older, white powerful men really to get the story,
(24:25):
I guess, and then to promote the book. She's now
gonna send, gonna post nude photos of herself online and
girl power that.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
You are a strong independent woman when you're naked, using
your vagina to get what you want. Way to stand
on feminism, Rosie o'donald, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Man, we're gonna get the story. I'm a hard work
and female journalist. I'm gonna use my snatch.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
Rosie O'Donnell incidentally used to send nude photos that people
thought were abstract.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
I don't miss Rosie. She moved to Ireland. Look.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Part of what bothers me about this this is like,
obviously it's tacky, and it probably has sets other female journalists.
As a guy that tries to use all the resources
available to him to get as far as I can
in life, there's a part of me that doesn't blame her,
you know, don't hate the player, hate the game, that
kind of logic.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
But then, on the other hand, and.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
No man is mad about this, No conservative man is
mad about this. The only people mad about this are
ugly liberal women, whereas they're normally called liberal women.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
A little while back, I don't remember what year. I
think it was twenty twelve. I don't remember when it
was the Republican National Convention held there was held in
Cleveland that year or wherever it was, I don't remember.
I think it was Cleveland or somewhere in the Midwest
that you wouldn't want to go unless you had to
Milwaukee or whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
And to protest the Republican Party.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Hundreds of topless feminist protesters showed up to protest against
the sexism of the Republican Party. Now as a man
if a bunch of topless women showed up to protest
a Jesse Payton comedy show.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Well, if they're liberal, I wouldn't be disinterested because you
wouldn't even be able to see their boobs unless they
were bottomless, because I don't know if you know where
liberal boobs lie, but it's somewhere between the knee and
the waist.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Yes, yes, yes, thank you for that. Yeah, that's what
it was. It was twenty twelve. No, well they did
it more than once. It looks like they did in
two thousand and four. Sorry, will you.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Google it over there, Kenny, I'm child, I'll show you
right now.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I was trying to find the Republican Convention topless protesters.
I guess they did it in two thousand and four.
They've did it a lot, and Google image search is
always fun because you can look at this stuff. I
never really understood this. Women dressing up at silly costumes.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Twenty twelve Republican Convention. Women dressed like vaginas to protest
Mitt Romney. They had a thing that Code Pink organized
called what was it, Bring your vagina to the Castro
Theater in San Francisco.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Take that Mitt Romney.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
That'll teach you, That'll teach you, or we're gonna look
silly and stupid. Does looking silly and stupid for a protest?
Is that ever work? That looks like an Rby's commercial?
Thank you, Jesse, Sorry, Jesse Payton. You've got some shows
coming up. We got people on the radio listening.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
What would you if you're in the Houston area, if
you're outside of Texas, you won't get to see me
until twenty twenty six. I'm taking off the rest of
the year, staying local, but December sixth, I'm gonna be
at Southern Star Brewery doing a show called Kill Jesse
with Kenny Webster.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Both of these shows actually have Kenny. And then December.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
Twentieth, Doci Dough in the Woodlands and we are doing
the DFW area.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Do we have listeners in the DFW arey, Kenny, we do?
We were there, we were there in Fort Worth.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Yeah, we're going to be back at Arlington Music Hall
on December thirteenth, twelve thirteen.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Doing couples Therapy. It's gonna be a fun show. But yeah,
that does sound like a fun show. And if people
want to buy tickets.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
For all this stuff, I guess Jesse is Funny dot
com Jesse is fine.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
I go to that website Jesse is Funny dot com.
I'm Kenny Webster. I love you all. I want to
thank my good buddy, Jesse Payton. Follow Jesse is Funny
on Instagram, on Twitter, on Facebook.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Are you on the talc tex sto you got? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (28:00):
I do TikTok, I do Instagram mainly on Facebook. Most
of most of my stuff is on Facebook. Jesse Peyton commedy.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Weirdly the places where conservatives seem to get censored the
most and dirty comedians seem to get censored the most.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
You thrive on those platforms. How do you get away
with it?
Speaker 6 (28:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (28:16):
I've got a good I know how to use an
ampra sand instead of an A and a word to
make that when I say liberal cook, I have to
change words up.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Is there any truth to the rumor that you and
Mark Zuckerberg have a physical relationship and that's why he's
not banning your profile.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
That's absolutely I do hand yubs.
Speaker 5 (28:43):
You are listening to the Pursuit of Happiness Radio. Tell
the government to kiss your ass when you listen to
this show.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
All right, this is gonna be very interesting. I have
a feeling it's starting off real good. Over the past several.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
Days, a lot of people have been surprised at how
some people on the left and the right have unified
and become friends. Okay, one example would be President Trump
and Zorhan Mam Donnie.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
That was a surprise to folks.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Maybe something that's a little more relatable Laura Trump doing
a podcast with Bill Maher and the long list of
things they seem to agree on. Here for those of
you you know that are maybe new to the show
or don't listen all the time. While we're on the
radio in many places around the country. Our flagship station
is Houston, Texas. We jokingly call it the Capital of
the South and the mayor of the capital of the
(29:40):
South is probably the best big city mayor in America
right now, in my humble opinion, and a Republican. Well
that's it, right, that's some And when we put that
opinion out there, a lot of people were surprised that
we felt that way. In fact, the Houston Chronicle let
me author an op ed about it, and we got
a big response from Democrats and moderates and conservatives alike, saying, yeah,
(30:02):
John Whitmire is a pretty reasonable guy.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Imagine that. Yeah, yeah, just good old common sense and
normal thinking. So we invited him on the show, and
you know he won't do the show. He doesn't do interviews. Man,
Well it turns out he said yes.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Were on the line now, Mayor John Whitmyer, Oh way,
welcome to the Walton Johnson Radio Network.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
Sir, good morning, good morning. Gee.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
Hey do you do you still go out to that
park and run or the same park where Kenny runs.
Speaker 6 (30:28):
I know you run it. I go to it.
Speaker 7 (30:31):
I just don't run as fast as I used to
want it because by the time I get to the park,
I've had a eighteen hour day crobly.
Speaker 6 (30:38):
So yeah, the Jar Park.
Speaker 7 (30:40):
I actually go to the park to see how people
are enjoying it, and on these beautiful days there's not
enough parking.
Speaker 6 (30:48):
So oh yeah, I get frustrated.
Speaker 7 (30:50):
I get frustrated because every where I go I want
to fix things for the public, and Sundays there's not
adequate parking in in Memorial Parks. So you know, I
bring it up to the attention of the conservancy that
runs a park, and we're working on it.
Speaker 6 (31:07):
I live a quote normal life.
Speaker 7 (31:10):
I get up and go to the barbershop, uh, go to
Yel Street pharmacy for for breakfast and anyway, pretty normal.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I will tell you off the air, the best place
is to park in that park because I go there
every day. I can always find a good parking spot
because I know where to go. But we'll do that
off the are because don't want to give a secret.
Speaker 7 (31:28):
Probably my neighborhood out of the park into the Crestwood neighborhood,
and many of the neighbors want to go to permit parking,
which I don't like because then when you want to
have a meeting or a guest over, they got to
get a permitt So you know, it's part of the
challenge living in a big city.
Speaker 6 (31:48):
We're very fortunate. Uh, people want to be here.
Speaker 7 (31:52):
It creates, you know, challenges, congestion, things that come with
a huge urbansider city.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Well, you know, on that note, you talk about this stuff.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
You talk about speed bombs and parking and crime and
balancing the budget because that's what your job entails. And
the national media a little less than a month ago
publicly attacked you or celebrated you for the radical opinion
that as the mayor of Houston, it's not your job
to you know, dictate foreign policy or figure out imagine
(32:24):
whether we're going to build a wall, or you know,
prevent federal agents from enforcing federal laws. And I never
thought that was controversial. Were you surprised by the reaction
to that.
Speaker 7 (32:35):
Well, I'm not surprised at anything coming from any direction.
But I've been very consistent. I just want to fix
our challenges.
Speaker 6 (32:44):
You know.
Speaker 7 (32:44):
I've had a distinguished career in the legislature, ten in
the House, forty in the Senate. I was making a
difference in the state Senate when three years ago Houstonia
has asked me to come back to Houston and run
for mayor, and I said no. Then they came back
and said would you consider it? And I said, that's
(33:04):
a serious question. Sure I'll consider it. And I said,
they said, well, what would get you to run? I said,
get in a car with me and drive across Houston.
I grew up here, went to high school U of
h and I've seen the neglect, a neglect of our infrastructure,
our streets, our drainage, our garbage pickup. But even more importantly,
(33:28):
as Chairman of Criminal Justice and the Senate, working close
with law enforcement, I know we have concerns about our safety.
You know, at the Yale Street Pharmacy, seniors come up
to me and say, we just don't go.
Speaker 6 (33:41):
Out after five o'clock.
Speaker 7 (33:43):
Young families will say we don't feel good going to
the parks. Now, that gets my attention, and I said,
we don't have to live like that. So I made
a tough decision to come back and run for mayor,
And each day I know I made the right decision
because we are making big differences.
Speaker 6 (34:00):
YEP.
Speaker 7 (34:01):
I got the best team that anyone can remember, the
best police chief in America. Those other issues are just issues.
I'm focused on fixing Houston.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
We travel around the state a lot because we have
affiliates all over the place. You know, we do comedy
shows and stuff. And one of the things we've noticed
is even though Houston's the biggest city, we do not
have the worst homelessness compared to Austin or Dallas or
San Antonio, even Waco, you know, pair capita. All that
being said, there's still homeless people under the freeways and
stuff like that, and we know that people on the
(34:31):
far far left, the ACLU types, don't want you to
do anything about it. You're building this facility downtown. Now,
this's a pretty big deal. It seems like a reasonable
solution that you know, it used to be a border
detention facility. If I'm not mistaken, Now it's going to
become a homeless building. I don't think that's a horrible idea.
How's that going? And how do people in your little
(34:51):
circle feel about clearing out the homeless encampments and moving
them into that building.
Speaker 7 (34:57):
Well, the homeless issue drives me nuts. No one should
live in those conditions, and we don't want to have
to deal with the homeless in our neighborhoods.
Speaker 6 (35:08):
And certainly they were downtown.
Speaker 7 (35:10):
The Central Library you could barely use it for the
smell of urine in that restroom. So we have a
huge challenge which we're addressing. We've made a difference, but
we've got to have residential facilities. You can't help people
with their drug and alcohol challenges, nor their mental health
challenge if you don't have them in a residence where
(35:32):
you can have a caseworker and get them to change
their lives. So we're looking for facilities. We found the
Emancipation Street site. It'll hold about three hundred folks. They
won't read their long term it's to stabilize them then
refer them to other shelters. But it's right by Dynamo Stadium.
(35:55):
The Shelf facility they call it to the stadium. It's
an immigration detention facility. It will be used in some
fashion the house individuals. It's largely in an industrial entertainment area.
So you know when you go to the ballpark to
(36:15):
watch the Astros, all those people you had to step
over to get into the stadium, they no longer be there.
There's gonna be a few blocks from there. Now, let
me tell you about the public safety of that site.
We're going to locate eight police officers there and a
sergeant full time to deal with the homeless. It's a
hot team. It's an HBD outreach team that deals with
(36:37):
the homeless. They're familiar with these people. They'll take them there,
they'll be stabilized, and then we're looking at other locations,
which would be the next step. You know, the homeless
issue is a very complex issue. Largely let me digress
here man. Also it's fed by the public safety, the
criminal justice system.
Speaker 6 (36:59):
You can't let people.
Speaker 7 (37:00):
Out of prison with nowhere to go. You can't let
people out of the Harris count of jail with no
money and no family. They end up on the streets.
So we have a lot of work. The good news
is we're moving into our direction. We're cleaning up downtown.
You know, I saw a poll by United Airline last year.
(37:20):
There are people didn't want to quit working at home
because they didn't want to deal with the homeless. So
it's affecting our businesses, it's affecting our neighborhoods. I want
the ability to see someone under a freeway. We call
a number, an HPD or a hot team outreach team,
that's what it's called Houston Outreach, and police pick this
(37:44):
person up and put them in a facility. No one's
criminalizing homelessness. We're trying to help the homeless and residents
and citizens of Houston.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
I have members of law enforcement and the fire department
texting me right now asking me to thank you.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
You.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
You've said you want four thousand new police officers over
the next several years. You've also worked really hard right
now to balance the budget and obviously this is a
city that has had no shortage of budget issues over
the past couple of years. Are you still committed to
trying to accomplish both of those goals? How do you
walk that line with getting more police officers but also,
(38:22):
you know, trying to make sure that we're not spending
money we don't have.
Speaker 7 (38:27):
Well, first of all, we can't afford not to spend
money on police and fire if we're not safe. Nothing
else we talked about this morning matters. That's my highest priority.
It's always been my highest priority. And we will find
the resources to have the best fire and police departments
in America. We have a great fire chief, a great
police chief. The morale is at an all time high.
(38:50):
And let me tell you what we've done. We've given
the benefits to fire and police that is a ripple
effect it's crossing the state. For way too many years,
fire and police officers did not get the benefits they deserve.
Government took them for granted. Oh they won't go anywhere else. Yeah,
they'll go somewhere else. They got to make a living.
(39:11):
Most of them have second jobs. I won't police and
fire to have the prior mar the primary job for
public safety. And we're headed in the right directions. Some
rows at an all time high. The cadet classes are full.
People are wanting to come to Houston to be police
(39:31):
and fire personnel EMS.
Speaker 6 (39:35):
So we're on a roll. It's improving public safety.
Speaker 7 (39:39):
The response time on COD one the most serious police
cause is five point six minutes. Dallas is at twelve minutes.
But we're not through. We're going to continue that number.
You said four thousand aulicers. Quite frankly, I've never heard
that number. I won't I know immediately we need fifteen
hundred and let me tell you what's happening. Host of
(40:00):
our hard work and dedication, we're for the long time,
first time in anybody's memory, we are regaining washers than
those that are retiring. In the past, they would retire
double dip. Get the retirement and then go to work
for another agency. We had alsers applying to the DPS
to become allshoes, better benefits, better pay. No longer, they've
(40:24):
thrown those applications in the trash. People want to be
police and fire in the City of Houston. Now, the
rest of the story is, we got to protect them.
We got to protect them with proper equipment. And we've
had two officers police officers assaulted Saturday and Sunday nights.
Speaker 6 (40:43):
That's one reason this morning I was dragging little.
Speaker 7 (40:45):
I was up to two o'clock Sunday morning with Jake Parker,
an officer that was shot point blade at a red
light of a road rates. He was on the way
to work, shot in the shoulder. Very fortunate that it
went to the other side, did not hit an oregon
or a bone. He survived.
Speaker 6 (41:06):
He survived.
Speaker 7 (41:08):
And then and then Sunday night, I get another call
to go downtown at Market Square red an officer that
was stabbed in the neck. Oh my god, apparent apparently
a homeless person. So let me tell the alarming thing.
Jack Peters that shot Saturday night. His suspect got a
(41:30):
sixty thousand dollars bond yeah, folks, we will never be
the safe city. We won't if HPD and fire do
their jobs and then some of the judges give them low.
Speaker 6 (41:43):
Amounts of bond. It's just wrong. You've got to.
Speaker 7 (41:46):
Hold people accountable, and when someone pulls a gun on you,
whether it's an officer or a citizen, they need a
long confinement and be held accountable.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Yeah, yeah, we agree with that.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
You were criticized by the kind of people that like
and support Zorhan, mom Donnie because you've tried to work
with Republicans around the state to bring funding to the
city of Houston, and now Zorhan mom Donnie is pretty
much trying to do the equivalent of that by meeting
with Donald Trump this past week. I'm not saying you
should gloat or rub it in the faces of those critics,
because he's pretty much doing exactly what you were doing
(42:23):
earlier this year.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
But you know, if you wanted to, would you like to.
Speaker 7 (42:29):
What I've got a full time job right here. I
haven't even made one trip over seed. None of these
trade missions or junkets that other mayors or the county
judge goes on't I'm slowly focused on getting quality of
life issues, taytent care in Houston, Texas, and I've got
(42:50):
a full plate. I don't have time to worry about
critics or others that comes with the job. But I
will work with anyone, and I'm known in Austin for
working across the out We help Houston. We just had
the best legislative session in anyone's memory, millions of dollars.
In fact, believe it or not, Austin gave us money
for two hundred police cars because I got on the
(43:12):
phone and told them how critical it was for us
to get some additional police cars. Got one hundred million
for wastewater treatment plan and about a million dollars for
eight separate parts. So we're moving into right direction. The
critics that come and go. You know, I was asked
by Houstonians to run for mayor. Tough decision. I preyed
(43:37):
on it. It's the toughest job anyone can have. It's
seven twenty four if you do it right.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
We only got a minute here left with you.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
But we just want to say sometimes people think because
we criticize Houston or talk about Houston crime or politics
on the radio, that we don't love this city. We
love this city so much, Mayor, I love living here.
Houston is my home. I've been here most of my
adult life. Everybody in the studio could say the same thing,
and obviously I think we have that in common with you.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
What do you love the most about Houston and where
do you love to go eat when you get some
free time?
Speaker 7 (44:11):
Oh, I love most about Houston as people. When I
meet with delegations in my office. There was a group
from Sweden the other day on a trade mission. It's
it's I have to do it, you know. I want
to get back to work, but that's part of the
job to greet people delegations. I told them when they
leave Houston, I want to remember most and there's a
(44:32):
hell help will I have to remember about Houston, our mediciners,
our academic universities, our port. I said, I want you
to remember our people and go away saying Houston is
the most friendliest place we've ever visited. And I really
mean that we are a friendly city when we come together.
We do come together when we're in crisis, and when
(44:53):
I'm at a Texans game and when they win a
game and an Astro game during the World Series, and
everybody comes together I just think what a great ceiling
that Hustone is can set aside their differ differences and
come together and be so supportive of a sports team.
(45:16):
And I want that same energy and support and passion
towards Dixon Houston. I'm willing to spend the eight years
or some of the best years left in my life
working to make this a better city.
Speaker 6 (45:29):
And you know what, we're moving into right direction.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Yes, we all amen to that. Appreciate you, God, bless you.
Speaker 3 (45:34):
Mayor with mere It feels good to have a mayor
that we support, and we want to say the happy Thanksgiving,
thank you for your time today, sir, Thank you.
Speaker 6 (45:40):
Save to everyone listen, be safe. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
Rogers, Walton and Johnson Radio Network,
Jack gannon government sucks Soon of happiness. Radio is DeLux.
Liberty and freedom will make you smile. A suit of
happening us on your radio to al Justice, Jeburg Librise.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Okay, exciting news, breaking news, this just happened. If you
like music. The Michael Jackson biopic will be split into
two parts.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
It'll be called the Black Half and the White Half. Hi, everybody,
I'm Kenny Webster. Thank you much so much for joining
us this afternoon. This is a big show. It's okay,
so it's Tuesday afternoon. My buddy, one of my best friends,
is here in the studio right now.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Comedian Jesse Payton is here.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
And if you guys stick around in a little bit
a very special treat at the end of the show.
Mayor John Whitmeyer very rarely does any interviews. We've got
Mayor John Whitmeyer probably I think the best big city
mayor in America right now.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Just so happens.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'm lucky enough to live in his city, so I'm
excited about that.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
And that is crazy. Jesse Payton.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Imagine that comedian Jesse Payton, the foul mouths right wing comic,
John Whittmeier, the common sense, moderate democrat mayor.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
That's gotta be the first time that's ever happened.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Yeah, I'm excited to be in the room with a
city worker where I'm not gonna be in handcuffs. Ken
Webster's Pursuit of Happiness a radio show that's just as
good when you're driving around Soba as it is when
you're drunk at home.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
U the new Miss America is from Mexico. Ironically, her
crown features a lot of ice. Jesse Peyton I got
a little whimper out of him. I got something. Jesse
is one of those guys. He's a professional comedian. He's
in studio right now. And if you're funny in front
of Jesse, because he hears so many jokes, so go,
yeah that works. Normal people will be like hah. Jesse's like,
(01:55):
oh that works, that's good. That is how Jesse reacts
to comedy.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
I would like to highlight the fact that when you
did that joke, I was less than quiet.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
You were, what wouldn't I got nothing from you? No? No,
I can I get a round two on that one?
You got another one? All right? Another? All right?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Elon Musk's AI assistant Grock bragged about his oral sex skills.
Now we know how he got Tesla's shareholders to give
him a trillion dollars.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
No, I'm.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Hell, is this thing on? Is this Jessea Payton in
the building?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Probably the funniest guy I know, probably the funniest person
most people know.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
There's a reason other comedians hate you.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
You are not new on the scene, You've been around
for a while, but but you surpassed a lot of
other comics from your community. You're seeing your industry and
that has created haters for you and anyone out there
that might not be a comedian, a welder, a small
business owner, a guy that you know that that is
a even if they don't do what you do for
a living.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I gotta think there's something very familiar about that sentiment.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
No, absolutely, And it's and it's less about the uh,
it's hatred or jealousy. It's more about a political stance.
I'm a right leaning comic and an entertainment across the board.
There's not a lot of space for conservativism or you know,
being libertarian, and I am and I have radical beliefs,
like there's two genders.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
What.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Yes, I'm learned that when I was six, Boys have
a penis, Girls have vagina, Boys have a penis Vagina.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Which is also the same song played on the elevators
on Epstein Island.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
That's correct, exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
They're like old men in their penises, little girls in
their vaginas.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Hi everybody, Oh, I forgot to.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Mention we're on the radio. We're also live streaming on
social media. Jesse and I spent the weekend hanging out
in golf Port. Well, we were in Bay Saint Louis.
We were at the Silver Slipper casino. Boy, I love
those crableggs. I could eat a lot of crab leggs.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Dude.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yeah, yeah, it was great. That whole trip was so
much fun.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
Man.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I always have a good time. We had a good weekend.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
And Jesse, you're the only guy I know who goes
to because like Silver Slippers, a fun casino.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And I'm not a gambler. I'll play blackjack.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
If I spend five hundred bucks at the black Tack table,
I think I'm entertained. It's fine. I lost the money.
I've never seen you lose money at a casino. Yeah,
that's because I don't post my losses. Kenny, Ah, but yeah, no,
I do.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
I love to gamble, but I'm the type of person
I'll take five thousand dollars trying to win one thousand.
I don't try to take one thousand trying to win
fifty thousand.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
So it's unreasonable, unrealistic. But you are a professional poker player.
I was the night.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Can I tell the story about Operation Comedy Therapy this year?
This won't embarrass you. No Operation Comedy Therapy me Jesse, Peyton,
Chad prayther Eric Knowles. This was the biggest one yet.
We sold hundreds of tickets. We've been doing it for
over a decade. I could remember when we first started
doing those. It was twenty disabled military veterans and we
couldn't serve beer because they were all in a treatment program.
(04:54):
And so it's changed a lot since then. It's gotten
bigger and bigger. And anyway, this year, hundreds of people
there at the Bad Astronaut Brewing Company. The press is there,
the media is a journalist there, listeners and politicians running
for officers. All these people Jesse paid in the organizer
of the event nowhere to be seen.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Where's Jesse.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Jesse is off in the corner in this giant facility.
He's off in the corner with an iPad in front
of him, looking at his iPad like this, watching football
games on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Jesse, what's going on over there?
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I can't talk. I just lost five thousand dollars the
next day. So we make a bunch of money for charity.
Jesse loses money the next day. I called Jesse to
thank him, obviously for organizing this event with us every year.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
He does an awesome job. Jesse, why is it so loud?
Where are you? He says, I'm driving to Lake Charles.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I got to make the money back from that game
that was football games yesterday?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And how did that go?
Speaker 6 (05:47):
It went?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Well? You made it, Pat, I made it. Bet to
say I made exactly the number I made.
Speaker 7 (05:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
I went down there and I was like, as soon
as I hit this number, I'm leaving. And I hit
the number and left.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
All right.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
So when you're in Lake Charles, don't they have What
do they have there?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
They have everything? No, but they have Drago's food.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I'm a fat kid deep down inside.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I remember when you were a fat kid deep down outside.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
It's true. He's right about that.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
So okay, So on that note, did you know, we
have a new partisan, polarizing issue, eating with a fork.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Yes you've heard about this. I didn't know you were racists, Yes,
you and your utensils. I actually embraced this.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
This is the silliest, dumbest thing ever since Zorhan Mom
Donnie ran for mayor. Now you have people on the
far left saying that forks are an example of colonialism
and white supremacy. And I think this is great because
if there's people that have never given a damn about
politics before, they don't care about the economy. Maybe you're
a rich kid. You don't care about immigration. You're not
losing your job to some immigrant. You don't care about
(06:49):
gun rights, you live in a gated community.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
You don't care. You don't care.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
You don't care, not a woman not getting an abortion.
We've suddenly got a thing. If you don't want sticky
fingers and you and you like, and you don't want
to eat with your hands. Now, Jesse Peyton, that is
a polarizing issue. Watch this absurdly stupid video. Hang on,
I got to turn the music off. Here, let me
pause that here.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Watch this all right, So we're watching.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Those of you listening on the radio that don't get
what we're looking at right now. It's an Indian girl.
I'm gosh, could be Sri Lanka and I have no idea.
And they're just eating rice off a giant leaf. The
leaf is the plate. It doesn't look like there's anything
else on the plate except the rice. And what is
that like one single nugget? I don't know what it is?
What do you what do you immediately know about? This
(07:43):
white guy that's eating is unhappy?
Speaker 4 (07:46):
This guy hates his girl and this is like, these
are the hoops I have to jump through to see
moderately attractive women naked, and I hate my life?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Is it worth it? Would not worth it? Would you
do this? Absolutely not? I would punch her, I would answer, I.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Would figuratively speaking, punch her in her emotions with some logic.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Is what you were about to say? Absolutely obvious? Yes?
What kind of beta male?
Speaker 6 (08:10):
Soy? Boy?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Is this? Yes? Of course, yes, that's what he meant
to say.
Speaker 7 (08:14):
Boy.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Look he does look miserable, though it doesn't he She's thrilled,
she loves it. She's just conquered him using her nethery.
Now look at him, Look at the look in his eye.
Pos it right, hang on, right here, that's the spot.
That's the spot where he says, look, look, you know
I've been defeated by this woman.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
She's better than me. There's nothing I can do about it.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
That's the face of Hey, if somebody would have picked
me in dodgeball when I was eight instead of leaving
me on the sidelines, and I have to go jump
to this horrible poor guy.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I feel bad for this dude.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
What's the saddest thing you ever did to get some
some some snookies some uh, the saddest thing.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I don't, Kenny. I mean, I'm I don't know. You
can't you I know, you know you just won't say
an already.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
I really can't. Well, we didn't prep for this one,
but among us it's okay, we didn't. I don't know,
he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
He's immediately running through all the stories in his head,
thinking what will get me into trouble.
Speaker 6 (09:12):
In what way?
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Yeah, my brain is buffering right now. There's a large database.
I've been you know, I've been in a you know,
I had a little ho phase after my divorce. It's
you know that was eight years ago.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Sure, Yes, eight years ago was your eight years ago
is your ho fees after your divorce. I always feel
like PCD post quoital depression. There's a lot of things
a man will do to to meet or get with
a woman, and then the moment it's over and he
realizes what kind of person she is, there's that moment
of terror in his mind where he thinks, Wow, why
(09:42):
did I do this?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
And nowadays for a lot of like.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
You know, seemingly moderate flyover middle Americans, cisgendered, heteronormative Caucasian
men racists. Yeah, well that's a good segue to this,
Jesse Payton. It has never been cooler to be racist.
If eating with a fork is racist, right, obviously it is.
We all agree, that's a no brainer. How would you
define this?
Speaker 8 (10:04):
I love to overcharge white people and organizations and do
pro bono work for black works. And that's just me
being very blunt. I will give them ridiculous rates, and
then I'll have like a nonprofit or black org or
somebody doing some work and be like, I've only got
this much money, and I'm like keep it. A white person,
just cut me a check.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Listen, do this for free.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
The funny part is she thinks that's the flex. The
white dude gave you the money, right, he slept great,
he had extra money to give you, and you talk
about how you took advantage of him. Well, you know
what kind of pile he's sleeping on. He's Uncle Scrooging
swimming through his gold coins. Right now, you caught one shekel.
(10:48):
You want to brag to the other rats how you
got over on Uncle Scrooge.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Also, if you're the white guy that hires this woman
and you see this video in this kind of telling
you next time you hire someone you're being overcharged by
someone that openly hates you.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I don't Yeah, look I don't. I don't care.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
You know me, we we hang out with all colored
people women, men, Yeah, I don't care. Yeah, you know
I my friends are white, black, brown, whatever. But if
I saw one of them charge me for a service
and then turn around and be like this sucker, what
a mass over here? Look, this isn't about race to me,
I'm just not going to hire you anymore after that.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Of course not. That's yeah, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Is it possible that part of the reason why this
woman feels like she's being oppressed by white people is
because she feels very comfortable openly denigrating white people, and
reasonable white people are now distancing themselves from her.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Or what if the shoe was on the other foot,
What if that was me going, Hey, every time a
black dude comes up, I charge them triple because they're stupid,
and then I give it to a white I would
be crucified for saying something like that, and she's glorified
for it.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
It's it's wild.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
But you do hire a lot of comedians, right, yes,
and you pay the white connics more, right never, you.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Know, I make it a point when I do comedy showcases,
go back and look through the flyers. I try to
put a white, a black, and a woman on every show.
Not because I need to. There are my shows. I
can do whatever I want. I just think that it's
good for the show.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Well, and it's more, there's gonna be a lot of
people in the audience that are mixed or diverse.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
So yes, I it's but I would never pay Yeah,
I would never pay the you know, the person more
because it's.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
And if you don't and if you don't book a
black comic or a female comic, you're never gonna get
to hook up with a black Chack Jesse, and.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
That's my goal. That's what I that's what I gotta do.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
On the radio shows, I'm so hot they'll literally burn
your eyes.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Fortunately, this is it one of those shows.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
I feel like, never miss you all again, but shoot.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Of Happiness Radio. All right, we're back on the radio now.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
We just took a short intermission, so people watching us
during a commercial break on live streaming we're able to
hear mature comedy we cannot do while we're back on
the radio. Isn't that weird? How seconds we can go
from dirty to clean, dirty to clean?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
How do we do that? How are we so diverse?
Speaker 4 (13:03):
It's you know what, I'm a man of many hats. Kenny,
no cap and if anybody no.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Cap, no cap, no prophylactics. Yeah, I don't know what
either of those are. I don't know what Jo stands for.
Just or or Wellian is what I assume. If you're
just getting connecting, guys. Disney Plus will release a remastered
Beatles documentary over Thanksgiving weekend unless Yoko gets it first.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I guess what are we looking at? What's Donald doing? Donald?
Speaker 6 (13:26):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Donald Trump is pardoning gobble and Wattle. He's pardoning two turkeys.
Now it's my understanding. There's a judge in Chicago that's
already overturning the pardon. Uh this is yeah, I know, unbelievable.
They can't, not even the turkey can get it.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
And I thought.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
My mind went elsewhere when I heard gobble and wattle,
like they sound like they sound like two of my
ex's names in my phone.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
What is that? I gotta go, Kitty Wattle is calling
in my head.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
I was, you know, there's a very innocent part of
me that just does right wing morning talk radio. I
thought you thought it was funny that the president is
pardoning a turkey.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
But it's the word gobble hand wattle.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
Yeah, those are two things that each of my exes
are known for.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Well, that's great, that's fantastic. I'm sure she's a sweet girl.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
When you put a girl in your phone, it's like
Brittany from Tomball or Brittany you know Steak forty eight
or you know, some defining characteristic maybe where.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
You met her. I have Ashley Waddle and tarn Gobble.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Have you you met a girl at Steak forty eight?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Jesse, I have bad news for you.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
If you meet a woman at Steak forty eight, she's
an escort. There's no there's no question. Have you ever
looked at the GEO tagged This is real inside Houston stuff.
For those that don't know, Steak forty eight is a
very expensive steakhouse right near this radio station. And there's
two ways to look at a restaurant on Instagram. You
probably know this. You can look at their account, or
you can look at the GEO tag located photos pictures
(14:55):
that people that went to the restaurant posted. If you
look at the Steak forty eight page, it's nothing but
nice pictures of food, pecan pie for Christmas and all that.
If you look at the GEO tagged photos, it's nothing
but the trampiest women you've ever seen with their butt
cheeks hanging out and they're going like this, and I'm I'm.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Here tonight to meet them.
Speaker 7 (15:16):
Man.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
It's nothing but the gold diggingest women, professional women. And
I'm told that that's a place to go meet them at.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Yeah, And I've heard about all those trends, and there's
there's also a neutrin I just heard about this week
where there's older home owning men who allow younger women
to stay with them rent free in exchange for intercourse.
Speaker 6 (15:37):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Wow, and that sounds fantastic. I want one because I'm
tired of paying rent Jesse, Jesse unbelievable, tired of paying rent, Kenny,
I was portest.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Hey, I a question for you about that. So you
meet women at stake forty eight? Have you ever meet
a woman a woman at BUCkies before? I love BUCkies.
There might type, what do you mean they're you're type?
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I like the.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I love Beaver's kinny, I love beaver No, beavers are great. No,
you can definitely say that a white liberal woman from
up North came down to Texas and went to a BUCkies.
What I'm about to show you isn't just a video.
It's representative of a genre of videos. White liberals from
up North will come down to Texas, They'll go to
BUCkies and you're like, I don't get what the big
(16:22):
deal is. It's a clean bathroom with a lot of
different snacks and gas and fuel that you know won't
be at lea at the very least of they won't
overcharge you. Do you want chili flavored dehydrated mango slices?
Do you want you know, beaver nuggets, brisket sandwich. There's
a lot of food there. You're on a road trip.
It's clean. There's no lot lizards. Jesse, real quick, what's
(16:44):
a lot lizard?
Speaker 4 (16:45):
A lot lizard is of a sweet, sweet angel from
heaven that God sent here for to bless all the
hard working truck drivers and gave her no.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Teeth for some root. Okay, I think most people know
it a lot lizard. Anyway, I said, this is a
genre of video. I see these from time to time.
It's only some woman named Becky or Karen Kay. Well, yeah, exactly.
She's not a guy a Karen for sure.
Speaker 9 (17:09):
I met BUCkies right now, and I just am looking
for an explanation of what the hype is like. It is.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
This is hell.
Speaker 9 (17:19):
Someone's like, you gotta go to BUCkies.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
You got?
Speaker 9 (17:21):
I mean, this is like a cracker barrel and a
gas station vomited all over each other.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
You're right, jokes for a living a cracker barrel and
a gas station vomited all over each other.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
I hate that she's using it with negative connotation, because
if I could get a gas, if I could get
gas and a smothered chicken fried steak, sign me the
hell up?
Speaker 6 (17:40):
Can you?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
But shit, dude, I get that there's things that make
the South or the North pros and constant both.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
But BUCkies, BUCkies is what you have beef with here.
Here's the problem.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
She's comparing it to like a galleria shopping mall, and
it should be compared to like a chevron.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Right, that's it.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
And if you compare it to a chevron, where, hey,
while my car, because what's going on right now is
your car is getting gas and you're in this huge
shopping mall getting to do other things and it's moving
so efficiently like a Chick fil a drive through, and
your car is still getting gas.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
So you raise a good point there.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
People look at BUCkies and go it's too crowded, but
kind of like Chick fil A.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
The line looks long.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
But right, But when you meet it in person, it's
catfish to you because it's gonna be small start fished.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Sorry, that's something else.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
It looks bigger in photos when I zoom in and
use photoshop and chat GPT.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Are we talking about the same thing. We're not kidding.
We're talking about my beaver and.
Speaker 9 (18:39):
Then made the ugliest clothes you've ever seen. I'm actually
horrified because I think this.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Is what wait wait, wait, wait wait, she's mad that
you could buy an ugly shirt. Do you not understand
that part of the genius of BUCkies is that you're
on a road trip and maybe you forgot to get
a silly gift for your uncle.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
He doesn't need anything.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
He lives in a ranch in Fredericksburg. He's got three
pickups in a boat. I know, let's get him a
silly shirt with a beaver on it. What you're mad
about that?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
You're a bitch?
Speaker 4 (19:06):
I hate How are you gonna blaspheme something that's like
inherent in our culture, Like it's mind me.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
I think not liking BUCkies is a litmus test to
determine if you should get the f out of Texas.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
I don't get paid to promote BUCkies. I'm not a
Bucky spokesperson. The owner of Bucky's son I think had
a child porn scandal. If I'm not mistaken, right, I'm
not here to promote or sell it.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
I just don't get why you're mad.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
At he's unhappy because this is Texas and in her
restroom there were no men.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yeah, is that what they're mad about.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Yeah, I was right about this. This is not the
guy's fault.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
But technically Bucky's co founder's son wanted on child porn
charge of mid sex videos inquiry.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Yeah, he was caught googling gobble and waddle.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
But what is what's going on right here in his mugshot?
Do you want to describe it or should? I looks
like a Valtrex commercial.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Oh no, Jesse, and don't now. I feel bad we've
missmirched BUCkies. It's not Bucky's fault that someone that's vaguely
gonna buy your merch.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Oh, one hundred percent, I'm gonna buy mar You know
what no one's buying is Exon and Chevron merch.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Yeah, you're right out of here. Yeah, nobody gives a
damn about that. You could buy a surfboard at BUCkies. Yes,
you could take a No, you can't take a shower,
but you can. They don't have a shower because they
don't have It's not a truck stop, right, and I
don't mind a truck stop either.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Sometimes you need methan a hooker. What are you gonna do? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Uh, I want to show you something. This is brilliant
This guy knows how to play the game. There's a
gentleman on anybody who's ever been married before, I've been married.
You have two and Jesse and I were both married
to people that are better than us.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
We failed. Uh, you know what are you gonna do?
Here is a guy who is truly out kicked his coverage.
We're watching a video.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
To those listening on the radio that want to know
what we're looking at right now, we're looking at a
guy who's like a Pittsburgh four and a half and
his wife is probably a Milwaukee eight or whatever.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
It is.
Speaker 6 (20:54):
Pretty.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
She is pretty. Watch the interaction here. She's playing checkers
with her husband. He's playing four dimensional chess. This is
this takedown by him is great?
Speaker 6 (21:03):
Were doing? What could I do with you?
Speaker 5 (21:05):
I would just want to talk to you about a
couple of things because I was thinking if I was
never born, y you would be with someone else.
Speaker 10 (21:13):
Then you were never born, I would be with someone Jejee.
My life started when I met you, so if you
were never born, my life wouldn't have started, so I
would I couldn't be with anybody else because you're the
only person that I think. It doesn't even make sense like,
how could I be with anybody else if you didn't exist? Like,
(21:34):
what sense does that make? I couldn't because you're my
whole world. It's just without you, I don't have a world.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Yes I would.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Yeah, I want to give this guy a guest spot
on Couple's Therapy. Dude, that isn't that is an epic
response to this.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Our Couples Therapy show is a spoof of relationships because
you and I have failed in good ones. And similarly,
I was put in a spot like this. This wasn't
even rehearse, Kenny. But my wife asked me one time.
She was like, Hey, if you could sleep with any
one of my friends, who would it be? And I
replied in order which I don't know the correct answer,
(22:10):
but that was the wrong one.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
I imagine another bad answer would be, oh, I've already
slept with her?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Yeah what would what would I even? You know?
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:18):
No, what like a second time? Or I don't know anyway,
But did Kristen talk to you? Let me text Kristen,
we got impact.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Let me text you're supposed to go to the grave, Kristen.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Let me text Skyler right now. Uh, you got to
admit this guy is creshed.
Speaker 6 (22:32):
God.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Yeah, man, yeah, if you weren't, if you didn't exist.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
Because similarly, I saw a similar couple where they did
one where the woman goes, she walks into the bedroom,
catches her husband off guard, and goes, Uh, this thing says,
would you punch me?
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Would you slap me? For a billion dollars?
Speaker 4 (22:48):
He goes, I would hit you with a shovel for
he goes, I would back over you with the car
for a be He goes, I would slap you for
forty dollars.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Now, obviously we're against that.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Just so we're clear, we're just telling you what the
this was the internet and how it was kind of
funny exactly all right. Last week you were here and
we talked about female journalist Olivia Nuzzy. Olivia Nuzzy is
this young woman who's worked at some of the biggest
news outlets. I think, without having her LinkedIn profile in
front of me, I think she worked at the Washington Pus,
the New York Times, places like that, big news outlets,
(23:20):
and started her career off in a sexual relation. As
a seventeen year old girl when she was still going
to college, hooked up with Keith Olberman do you know
who that is.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, I hooked up with keith Over. Oh is that
right time she got into comedy? You and Keithy could go,
Oh no, that's Chris Pram all right.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
She she more recently got very famous for traveling around
the country with RFK Junior when he was running for president,
and she would send him spicy nudes. And at some
point apparently I don't know if this upset Cheryl Hines,
his wife, the Curb Your Enthusiasm actress. But Olivia Nuzzy
is now she's got a book out, and here's what's
so amazing about this. She now works at Vanity Fair.
(23:57):
Vanity Fair is also Condie Nast book publisher, who I'm
assuming is publishing her book.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I'm not going to read it.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
The New York Post story reads Vanity Fair to publish
abstract nude portrait of Olivia Nuzzy as scandal plague journalist
accused of shirking job duties. In an effort to make
a point about how women in the media are sometimes oppressed,
Olivia Nazzy wrote a book about how she selept with
these older, white powerful men really to get the story,
(24:25):
I guess, and then to promote the book. She's now
gonna send, gonna post nude photos of herself online and
girl power that.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
You are a strong independent woman when you're naked, using
your vagina to get what you want. Way to stand
on feminism, Rosie o'donald, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Man, we're gonna get the story. I'm a hard work
and female journalist. I'm gonna use my snatch.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
Rosie O'Donnell incidentally used to send nude photos that people
thought were abstract.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
I don't miss Rosie. She moved to Ireland. Look.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
Part of what bothers me about this this is like,
obviously it's tacky, and it probably has sets other female journalists.
As a guy that tries to use all the resources
available to him to get as far as I can
in life, there's a part of me that doesn't blame her,
you know, don't hate the player, hate the game, that
kind of logic.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
But then, on the other hand, and.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
No man is mad about this, No conservative man is
mad about this. The only people mad about this are
ugly liberal women, whereas they're normally called liberal women.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
A little while back, I don't remember what year. I
think it was twenty twelve. I don't remember when it
was the Republican National Convention held there was held in
Cleveland that year or wherever it was, I don't remember.
I think it was Cleveland or somewhere in the Midwest
that you wouldn't want to go unless you had to
Milwaukee or whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
And to protest the Republican Party.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Hundreds of topless feminist protesters showed up to protest against
the sexism of the Republican Party. Now as a man
if a bunch of topless women showed up to protest
a Jesse Payton comedy show.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Well, if they're liberal, I wouldn't be disinterested because you
wouldn't even be able to see their boobs unless they
were bottomless, because I don't know if you know where
liberal boobs lie, but it's somewhere between the knee and
the waist.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Yes, yes, yes, thank you for that. Yeah, that's what
it was. It was twenty twelve. No, well they did
it more than once. It looks like they did in
two thousand and four. Sorry, will you.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Google it over there, Kenny, I'm child, I'll show you
right now.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I was trying to find the Republican Convention topless protesters.
I guess they did it in two thousand and four.
They've did it a lot, and Google image search is
always fun because you can look at this stuff. I
never really understood this. Women dressing up at silly costumes.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Twenty twelve Republican Convention. Women dressed like vaginas to protest
Mitt Romney. They had a thing that Code Pink organized
called what was it, Bring your vagina to the Castro
Theater in San Francisco.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Take that Mitt Romney.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
That'll teach you, That'll teach you, or we're gonna look
silly and stupid. Does looking silly and stupid for a protest?
Is that ever work? That looks like an Rby's commercial?
Thank you, Jesse, Sorry, Jesse Payton. You've got some shows
coming up. We got people on the radio listening.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
What would you if you're in the Houston area, if
you're outside of Texas, you won't get to see me
until twenty twenty six. I'm taking off the rest of
the year, staying local, but December sixth, I'm gonna be
at Southern Star Brewery doing a show called Kill Jesse
with Kenny Webster.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Both of these shows actually have Kenny. And then December.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
Twentieth, Doci Dough in the Woodlands and we are doing
the DFW area.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Do we have listeners in the DFW arey, Kenny, we do?
We were there, we were there in Fort Worth.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Yeah, we're going to be back at Arlington Music Hall
on December thirteenth, twelve thirteen.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Doing couples Therapy. It's gonna be a fun show. But yeah,
that does sound like a fun show. And if people
want to buy tickets.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
For all this stuff, I guess Jesse is Funny dot
com Jesse is fine.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
I go to that website Jesse is Funny dot com.
I'm Kenny Webster. I love you all. I want to
thank my good buddy, Jesse Payton. Follow Jesse is Funny
on Instagram, on Twitter, on Facebook.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Are you on the talc tex sto you got? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (28:00):
I do TikTok, I do Instagram mainly on Facebook. Most
of most of my stuff is on Facebook. Jesse Peyton commedy.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Weirdly the places where conservatives seem to get censored the
most and dirty comedians seem to get censored the most.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
You thrive on those platforms. How do you get away
with it?
Speaker 6 (28:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (28:16):
I've got a good I know how to use an
ampra sand instead of an A and a word to
make that when I say liberal cook, I have to
change words up.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Is there any truth to the rumor that you and
Mark Zuckerberg have a physical relationship and that's why he's
not banning your profile.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
That's absolutely I do hand yubs.
Speaker 5 (28:43):
You are listening to the Pursuit of Happiness Radio. Tell
the government to kiss your ass when you listen to
this show.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
All right, this is gonna be very interesting. I have
a feeling it's starting off real good. Over the past several.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
Days, a lot of people have been surprised at how
some people on the left and the right have unified
and become friends. Okay, one example would be President Trump
and Zorhan Mam Donnie.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
That was a surprise to folks.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Maybe something that's a little more relatable Laura Trump doing
a podcast with Bill Maher and the long list of
things they seem to agree on. Here for those of
you you know that are maybe new to the show
or don't listen all the time. While we're on the
radio in many places around the country. Our flagship station
is Houston, Texas. We jokingly call it the Capital of
the South and the mayor of the capital of the
(29:40):
South is probably the best big city mayor in America
right now, in my humble opinion, and a Republican. Well
that's it, right, that's some And when we put that
opinion out there, a lot of people were surprised that
we felt that way. In fact, the Houston Chronicle let
me author an op ed about it, and we got
a big response from Democrats and moderates and conservatives alike, saying, yeah,
(30:02):
John Whitmire is a pretty reasonable guy.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Imagine that. Yeah, yeah, just good old common sense and
normal thinking. So we invited him on the show, and
you know he won't do the show. He doesn't do interviews. Man,
Well it turns out he said yes.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Were on the line now, Mayor John Whitmyer, Oh way,
welcome to the Walton Johnson Radio Network.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
Sir, good morning, good morning. Gee.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
Hey do you do you still go out to that
park and run or the same park where Kenny runs.
Speaker 6 (30:28):
I know you run it. I go to it.
Speaker 7 (30:31):
I just don't run as fast as I used to
want it because by the time I get to the park,
I've had a eighteen hour day crobly.
Speaker 6 (30:38):
So yeah, the Jar Park.
Speaker 7 (30:40):
I actually go to the park to see how people
are enjoying it, and on these beautiful days there's not
enough parking.
Speaker 6 (30:48):
So oh yeah, I get frustrated.
Speaker 7 (30:50):
I get frustrated because every where I go I want
to fix things for the public, and Sundays there's not
adequate parking in in Memorial Parks. So you know, I
bring it up to the attention of the conservancy that
runs a park, and we're working on it.
Speaker 6 (31:07):
I live a quote normal life.
Speaker 7 (31:10):
I get up and go to the barbershop, uh, go to
Yel Street pharmacy for for breakfast and anyway, pretty normal.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I will tell you off the air, the best place
is to park in that park because I go there
every day. I can always find a good parking spot
because I know where to go. But we'll do that
off the are because don't want to give a secret.
Speaker 7 (31:28):
Probably my neighborhood out of the park into the Crestwood neighborhood,
and many of the neighbors want to go to permit parking,
which I don't like because then when you want to
have a meeting or a guest over, they got to
get a permitt So you know, it's part of the
challenge living in a big city.
Speaker 6 (31:48):
We're very fortunate. Uh, people want to be here.
Speaker 7 (31:52):
It creates, you know, challenges, congestion, things that come with
a huge urbansider city.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Well, you know, on that note, you talk about this stuff.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
You talk about speed bombs and parking and crime and
balancing the budget because that's what your job entails. And
the national media a little less than a month ago
publicly attacked you or celebrated you for the radical opinion
that as the mayor of Houston, it's not your job
to you know, dictate foreign policy or figure out imagine
(32:24):
whether we're going to build a wall, or you know,
prevent federal agents from enforcing federal laws. And I never
thought that was controversial. Were you surprised by the reaction
to that.
Speaker 7 (32:35):
Well, I'm not surprised at anything coming from any direction.
But I've been very consistent. I just want to fix
our challenges.
Speaker 6 (32:44):
You know.
Speaker 7 (32:44):
I've had a distinguished career in the legislature, ten in
the House, forty in the Senate. I was making a
difference in the state Senate when three years ago Houstonia
has asked me to come back to Houston and run
for mayor, and I said no. Then they came back
and said would you consider it? And I said, that's
(33:04):
a serious question. Sure I'll consider it. And I said,
they said, well, what would get you to run? I said,
get in a car with me and drive across Houston.
I grew up here, went to high school U of
h and I've seen the neglect, a neglect of our infrastructure,
our streets, our drainage, our garbage pickup. But even more importantly,
(33:28):
as Chairman of Criminal Justice and the Senate, working close
with law enforcement, I know we have concerns about our safety.
You know, at the Yale Street Pharmacy, seniors come up
to me and say, we just don't go.
Speaker 6 (33:41):
Out after five o'clock.
Speaker 7 (33:43):
Young families will say we don't feel good going to
the parks. Now, that gets my attention, and I said,
we don't have to live like that. So I made
a tough decision to come back and run for mayor,
And each day I know I made the right decision
because we are making big differences.
Speaker 6 (34:00):
YEP.
Speaker 7 (34:01):
I got the best team that anyone can remember, the
best police chief in America. Those other issues are just issues.
I'm focused on fixing Houston.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
We travel around the state a lot because we have
affiliates all over the place. You know, we do comedy
shows and stuff. And one of the things we've noticed
is even though Houston's the biggest city, we do not
have the worst homelessness compared to Austin or Dallas or
San Antonio, even Waco, you know, pair capita. All that
being said, there's still homeless people under the freeways and
stuff like that, and we know that people on the
(34:31):
far far left, the ACLU types, don't want you to
do anything about it. You're building this facility downtown. Now,
this's a pretty big deal. It seems like a reasonable
solution that you know, it used to be a border
detention facility. If I'm not mistaken, Now it's going to
become a homeless building. I don't think that's a horrible idea.
How's that going? And how do people in your little
(34:51):
circle feel about clearing out the homeless encampments and moving
them into that building.
Speaker 7 (34:57):
Well, the homeless issue drives me nuts. No one should
live in those conditions, and we don't want to have
to deal with the homeless in our neighborhoods.
Speaker 6 (35:08):
And certainly they were downtown.
Speaker 7 (35:10):
The Central Library you could barely use it for the
smell of urine in that restroom. So we have a
huge challenge which we're addressing. We've made a difference, but
we've got to have residential facilities. You can't help people
with their drug and alcohol challenges, nor their mental health
challenge if you don't have them in a residence where
(35:32):
you can have a caseworker and get them to change
their lives. So we're looking for facilities. We found the
Emancipation Street site. It'll hold about three hundred folks. They
won't read their long term it's to stabilize them then
refer them to other shelters. But it's right by Dynamo Stadium.
(35:55):
The Shelf facility they call it to the stadium. It's
an immigration detention facility. It will be used in some
fashion the house individuals. It's largely in an industrial entertainment area.
So you know when you go to the ballpark to
(36:15):
watch the Astros, all those people you had to step
over to get into the stadium, they no longer be there.
There's gonna be a few blocks from there. Now, let
me tell you about the public safety of that site.
We're going to locate eight police officers there and a
sergeant full time to deal with the homeless. It's a
hot team. It's an HBD outreach team that deals with
(36:37):
the homeless. They're familiar with these people. They'll take them there,
they'll be stabilized, and then we're looking at other locations,
which would be the next step. You know, the homeless
issue is a very complex issue. Largely let me digress
here man. Also it's fed by the public safety, the
criminal justice system.
Speaker 6 (36:59):
You can't let people.
Speaker 7 (37:00):
Out of prison with nowhere to go. You can't let
people out of the Harris count of jail with no
money and no family. They end up on the streets.
So we have a lot of work. The good news
is we're moving into our direction. We're cleaning up downtown.
You know, I saw a poll by United Airline last year.
(37:20):
There are people didn't want to quit working at home
because they didn't want to deal with the homeless. So
it's affecting our businesses, it's affecting our neighborhoods. I want
the ability to see someone under a freeway. We call
a number, an HPD or a hot team outreach team,
that's what it's called Houston Outreach, and police pick this
(37:44):
person up and put them in a facility. No one's
criminalizing homelessness. We're trying to help the homeless and residents
and citizens of Houston.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
I have members of law enforcement and the fire department
texting me right now asking me to thank you.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
You.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
You've said you want four thousand new police officers over
the next several years. You've also worked really hard right
now to balance the budget and obviously this is a
city that has had no shortage of budget issues over
the past couple of years. Are you still committed to
trying to accomplish both of those goals? How do you
walk that line with getting more police officers but also,
(38:22):
you know, trying to make sure that we're not spending
money we don't have.
Speaker 7 (38:27):
Well, first of all, we can't afford not to spend
money on police and fire if we're not safe. Nothing
else we talked about this morning matters. That's my highest priority.
It's always been my highest priority. And we will find
the resources to have the best fire and police departments
in America. We have a great fire chief, a great
police chief. The morale is at an all time high.
(38:50):
And let me tell you what we've done. We've given
the benefits to fire and police that is a ripple
effect it's crossing the state. For way too many years,
fire and police officers did not get the benefits they deserve.
Government took them for granted. Oh they won't go anywhere else. Yeah,
they'll go somewhere else. They got to make a living.
(39:11):
Most of them have second jobs. I won't police and
fire to have the prior mar the primary job for
public safety. And we're headed in the right directions. Some
rows at an all time high. The cadet classes are full.
People are wanting to come to Houston to be police
(39:31):
and fire personnel EMS.
Speaker 6 (39:35):
So we're on a roll. It's improving public safety.
Speaker 7 (39:39):
The response time on COD one the most serious police
cause is five point six minutes. Dallas is at twelve minutes.
But we're not through. We're going to continue that number.
You said four thousand aulicers. Quite frankly, I've never heard
that number. I won't I know immediately we need fifteen
hundred and let me tell you what's happening. Host of
(40:00):
our hard work and dedication, we're for the long time,
first time in anybody's memory, we are regaining washers than
those that are retiring. In the past, they would retire
double dip. Get the retirement and then go to work
for another agency. We had alsers applying to the DPS
to become allshoes, better benefits, better pay. No longer, they've
(40:24):
thrown those applications in the trash. People want to be
police and fire in the City of Houston. Now, the
rest of the story is, we got to protect them.
We got to protect them with proper equipment. And we've
had two officers police officers assaulted Saturday and Sunday nights.
Speaker 6 (40:43):
That's one reason this morning I was dragging little.
Speaker 7 (40:45):
I was up to two o'clock Sunday morning with Jake Parker,
an officer that was shot point blade at a red
light of a road rates. He was on the way
to work, shot in the shoulder. Very fortunate that it
went to the other side, did not hit an oregon
or a bone. He survived.
Speaker 6 (41:06):
He survived.
Speaker 7 (41:08):
And then and then Sunday night, I get another call
to go downtown at Market Square red an officer that
was stabbed in the neck. Oh my god, apparent apparently
a homeless person. So let me tell the alarming thing.
Jack Peters that shot Saturday night. His suspect got a
(41:30):
sixty thousand dollars bond yeah, folks, we will never be
the safe city. We won't if HPD and fire do
their jobs and then some of the judges give them low.
Speaker 6 (41:43):
Amounts of bond. It's just wrong. You've got to.
Speaker 7 (41:46):
Hold people accountable, and when someone pulls a gun on you,
whether it's an officer or a citizen, they need a
long confinement and be held accountable.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Yeah, yeah, we agree with that.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
You were criticized by the kind of people that like
and support Zorhan, mom Donnie because you've tried to work
with Republicans around the state to bring funding to the
city of Houston, and now Zorhan mom Donnie is pretty
much trying to do the equivalent of that by meeting
with Donald Trump this past week. I'm not saying you
should gloat or rub it in the faces of those critics,
because he's pretty much doing exactly what you were doing
(42:23):
earlier this year.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
But you know, if you wanted to, would you like to.
Speaker 7 (42:29):
What I've got a full time job right here. I
haven't even made one trip over seed. None of these
trade missions or junkets that other mayors or the county
judge goes on't I'm slowly focused on getting quality of
life issues, taytent care in Houston, Texas, and I've got
(42:50):
a full plate. I don't have time to worry about
critics or others that comes with the job. But I
will work with anyone, and I'm known in Austin for
working across the out We help Houston. We just had
the best legislative session in anyone's memory, millions of dollars.
In fact, believe it or not, Austin gave us money
for two hundred police cars because I got on the
(43:12):
phone and told them how critical it was for us
to get some additional police cars. Got one hundred million
for wastewater treatment plan and about a million dollars for
eight separate parts. So we're moving into right direction. The
critics that come and go. You know, I was asked
by Houstonians to run for mayor. Tough decision. I preyed
(43:37):
on it. It's the toughest job anyone can have. It's
seven twenty four if you do it right.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
We only got a minute here left with you.
Speaker 3 (43:45):
But we just want to say sometimes people think because
we criticize Houston or talk about Houston crime or politics
on the radio, that we don't love this city. We
love this city so much, Mayor, I love living here.
Houston is my home. I've been here most of my
adult life. Everybody in the studio could say the same thing,
and obviously I think we have that in common with you.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
What do you love the most about Houston and where
do you love to go eat when you get some
free time?
Speaker 7 (44:11):
Oh, I love most about Houston as people. When I
meet with delegations in my office. There was a group
from Sweden the other day on a trade mission. It's
it's I have to do it, you know. I want
to get back to work, but that's part of the
job to greet people delegations. I told them when they
leave Houston, I want to remember most and there's a
(44:32):
hell help will I have to remember about Houston, our mediciners,
our academic universities, our port. I said, I want you
to remember our people and go away saying Houston is
the most friendliest place we've ever visited. And I really
mean that we are a friendly city when we come together.
We do come together when we're in crisis, and when
(44:53):
I'm at a Texans game and when they win a
game and an Astro game during the World Series, and
everybody comes together I just think what a great ceiling
that Hustone is can set aside their differ differences and
come together and be so supportive of a sports team.
(45:16):
And I want that same energy and support and passion
towards Dixon Houston. I'm willing to spend the eight years
or some of the best years left in my life
working to make this a better city.
Speaker 6 (45:29):
And you know what, we're moving into right direction.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Yes, we all amen to that. Appreciate you, God, bless you.
Speaker 3 (45:34):
Mayor with mere It feels good to have a mayor
that we support, and we want to say the happy Thanksgiving,
thank you for your time today, sir, Thank you.
Speaker 6 (45:40):
Save to everyone listen, be safe. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
Rogers, Walton and Johnson Radio Network,
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Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.