Cartel Bosses are Weird - Love Lies Bleeding

Love Lies Bleeding is a crimey, trippy, violent… love story. Kristen Stewart’s best reviewed film EVER has deep and upsetting themes with the 1980’s setting giving us distance and the opportunity to take a new perspective on conflicts that feel familiar but fresh.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome back to Killer Fund, where we explore the intersection
of crime and entertainment every other week. I'm Christy and
I'm Jackie, and today today we are talking about love
Lies Bleeding. Love is a drug and sometimes it's helpful
and sometimes it's destructive, and it lies bleeding. Ah.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
I loved it, I truly did.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
I love the title of this movie so much. It's
because it's like three words that describe it, but also
you put them together and it also describes it. Yeah,
I love it. It's so good. Love lies bleeding, Love
lies bleeding. Yeah, exactly, it's great. It's great. It's great. Like, Okay,

(00:51):
I do you think we'll get there because I'm real conflicted.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Oh wait, interesting, I cannot wait. Okay, all right, all right,
all right, so let's talk about it then.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
All right, So the cast is great. So Kristen Stewart
is lou Louise Langston. You I don't know that we
ever hear her last name referred to her ever. I
know her dad calls her Louise like once once, and
I think we only know her last name is Langston

(01:24):
because that's her dad's loss.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
I think that's it. So she's just She's Lou.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
She's Lou.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
She's Lou and uh. She's the reclusive manager at the
Creater Gym, estranged from her father, who is a local
crime lord. Yeah. Yeah, so of course we recognize Kristin
Stewart from lots of things. She's been consistently working in

(01:50):
a wide variety of sorts of things. Her first like
big break was as Jodie Foster's daughter in Panic.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
I loved that movie.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
I don't think I've ever seen it the whole way through,
so I was like, I was like, I should watch that.
I watched the trailer for it. Yeah, because you know,
I end up rabbit trails and sometimes they meet things
and sometimes it's just like fun. Well that looks fun.
And then of course she's Bella Swan in the Twilight

(02:20):
movies Guilty Pleasure, and then she was Diana, Princess of
Wales and Spencer that I still have not seen, and
I'm like, I have got to put that on my
list of things to watch, so good soon.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
Yeah, she nailed it. She looked just like her, I mean,
manner is everything. Yeah, yeah, really good.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Katie O'Brien is Jackie the bodybuilder who kind of drifts
into town. She's also been in The Mandalorian, which I
didn't recognize her. I had to go look up pictures
of her character, and I was like, oh, that's her
because she looks she looks like strong but still kind

(03:03):
of feminine in this and she's very androgynous, right the mentoring.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
I didn't see that, but I saw it on her profile.
I've seen pictures of her.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Right, Yeah, she can basically pull off any look she want.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
I mean she can. It's really kind of almost annoying.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Like, yeah, she's fully chameleon.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
It's beautiful. Yes, she was Gentrah and Man and the
Wasp okay in twenty twenty three. No me either. I
don't really care for superhero movies most of the time,
but you know, almost it's the foul mouth, funny guy.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Oh oh oh yeah, yeah, I'm with you.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
It looks like Spider Man, but isn't.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yep, I'm getting there.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
I just watched the funny movie Bye Bye Bye the
thing hilarious.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
And yes, something.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
Why because we asked ourselves, it's coming to me.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
It's the it's something about dying.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Deadpool.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Thank you, thank you that truged it.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
Unless it's like Deadpool and like funny and ridiculous, and
then I'll enjoy a superhero movie. Then Jenna Malone was
unrecognizable as.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Beth Okay, yeah, who, I don't really do I know her?

Speaker 1 (04:26):
Okay, we'll get there. So she was in The Hunger
Games as Johanna Mason. Oh, so you would recognize her
if you you've seen that, so you would recognize her
from that. Then she was in Donnie Darko back in
two thousand and one, which is a cult favorite and
my favorite movie that she's ever been saved. She was

(04:47):
the lead and safe.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Oh I never saw that.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
I know you didn't, and you need to because it's
so good. Oh man, okay, all right, it's so good.
All right. It's like all the religious things that her like,
they make so much fun of it, and it's like
in the best, absolute best way. It's it's a she's
a pregnant teenager from it who lives in a religious

(05:11):
family and her friends are really religious, and like nobody
realizes she's pregnant because they're like, well, of course not.
She never would do anything to get pregnant. It's bananas anyway,
It's great, but I did I had to be like oh,
I forgot. Jena Malone was in this movie. Who was she?

(05:32):
She was Beth and amazing and absolutely like unrecognizable. Then
there was Daisy. She was played by Anna Borishnikoff. Oh
really that was okay, Mikhail bis got her. I did
not know that me either until I looked it up.
And she, you know, was obsessed with Lou right well,

(05:54):
you know, a complicated ex She was also in Apple
TV's show about Emily Dickinson, entitled Dickinson. She was in
twenty sixteen Manchester by the Sea. Day of Franco was
jj Beth's husband Mullet wearing abusive jackass and James Franco

(06:19):
is his older brother. Yes, I know, and he was
an after party. He was Xavier the musician, which we've
talked about on the show. Yeah, yeah, oh, and he
was and he was the voice of Lloyd in the
Lego Ninjago movie. So great. I don't expect anybody else
to really know that. And then ed Harris oh Man

(06:40):
is Low's dad, Lou Langston Senior, and he of course
Apollo thirteen, the Truman Show, snow Piercer, the show I
Love to Hate Westworld, he was.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
In He's into that so much, I mean all kinds
of He's iconic.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yeah, all right, recap. Lou seems to be just enduring
the day to day treasury of life, working in a
garage gym and avoiding contact with her crimeloid father Lou Senior,
helping her abused sister Beth. Then this strong and beautiful woman,

(07:15):
Jackie comes into the gym and the two kind of
instantly hit it off. Yeah, is like the first time
she's there at the gym, and at Lou's suggestion bodybuilding,
Jackie starts taking steroids to gain a competitive edge from
their new relationship. The drug use, the abusive marriage that

(07:39):
Beth is in, contentious relationships with Lou's father, and her
ex emotions are high all over the place, and these
complicated relationships result in complex situations with fantastical representations of
emotions in the climax of a violent and romantic film. Yeah,

(08:04):
there we go, trying not to give too much away, too.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
Much, but huh yeah, I meanither we're gonna have to
have some spoilers though, because there's stuff we have to
talk about in this one that just revolves around spoilers.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, that will ruin the experience of the movie.

Speaker 3 (08:21):
I might say, it's not just a detail, it's like
a right.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
It's streaming on Max. You can rent it, so you know,
consider that, consider that if you want it spoil if
it's not something that you would want to see, and
I mean, feel free to listen, but we will spoil
things for you, Yes we will.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Thoughts, Yeah, did you have something?

Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah, a few. I found it very funny that she
listened to these anti smoking takes with a cigarette in
her hand always.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
I know, I loved it.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
The guy in the gym who was asking Lou about
her dad had me immediately like he's a cop.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah, ah, he was not playing that off one.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
And then I was a little bit surprised that he
was FBI because he was so ham fisted in his question,
like you're the FBI. Do better, do better? I know
you've had better training than this in the eighties.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Even in the eighties, I don't know, they're pretty rough.
They had some they did not they did they they
had some girl in pain eighties.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
I think they had some high times and then the
eighties came and then and then they had some high
times and then you know, I think they go, they
wean and.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
Wait that's but and she knew it immediately.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
I mean, that's all. Knew it immediately. That's her.

Speaker 3 (09:41):
But that's her first clue about who she is, right
because her question.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Her answering.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
She didn't change her demeanor, she didn't change nothing. She
just casually was like, oh, yeah, I don't talk to him,
and a friends of him was news would know that. Yeah,
Like she don't know this guy, right, Like, no, we
don't know him.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Yes, and she's telling him, right then I know who
you are walk away?

Speaker 3 (10:04):
Yeah, which is your first foreshadowing clue into the level
of the situation.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
Uh huh, yep, yeah, And I loved that. Yeah. So
Lou makes eggs for Jackie and Jackie requests no yolks
in the future.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Just ridiculous. I was ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
Me. I am always hoping for double yolks because it's
the best part. I got a double yoke this past week.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Oh did you?

Speaker 1 (10:30):
I mean literally, like, and I don't even eat. I
make an egg for my husband, yeah, pretty much every day. Yeah,
and then only sometimes do I also make myself an egg?
And I was like, oh, double yokre that one's mine.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
Well, it just made no sense.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
First of all, this is this is like, let me
just connect it to the entirety of the problems of
our government. Okay, so they're doing this stupid food chart
thing back in the eighties, right, they have it completely backwards.
Everything's fat free, which meant it was high sugar everything.
But people were brainwashed into thinking fat was the enemy.
She's body building.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
You need yolk.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
Yeah, you don't need You don't need to be cut
in fat.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
You need fat, like all day long.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
Then you can eat any carbs you on and then
you can just limit your refined sugar.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
But in the eighties.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
Everybody was like fat free, fat free, fat free. And
then she wonders why she can't bulk up. You don't
need steroids, you need an egg yolk.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, okay, I'm off myself. Jackie tells Lou that they
could move to California if Jackie wins the Vegas bodybuilding contest,
and I was like, look at you, you can already
move to California and become a trainer, even if you
do not win the bodybuilding contest.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, Like, you don't have to wait. You can do
that now, you could go.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Do that right now, you don't have to wait.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, look at you.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah, look at you.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
This is before she starts the roids. Yes, you know.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
And then halfway through the movie, I'm like, is this
movie good? Like, do I like this movie? Is it
good and I don't like it? Is it good and
I do like it?

Speaker 2 (12:15):
I'm very is it not good and I like it?

Speaker 1 (12:18):
Right? I'm like, I literally couldn't tell how I felt
about it and whether it was good or not.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
That's pretty great.

Speaker 1 (12:24):
That's a good movie. I usually yes, that means I
mean I wanted to keep watching.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
It made you think all kinds of things.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
It was, it was. Yeah, I'm like that acting's good,
the sets are good, the story's good. Do I like it?
I don't know if I like this.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
It's so weird, I think, Okay, I think it is
a little weird to see period pieces.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
That are our childhood. Yeah, yes, where like I recognize
they did a good job of making some outfits colorful
but making the places kind of brown.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
Yeah, like she's wearing that nineteen eighties like windbreaker jacket thing.
Did I have multiple versions of this with the matching pants?

Speaker 2 (13:10):
I sure did.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, she's so eighties.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Yeah, it's great, But also it is weird to see
period pieces that are like you remember and now I'm like,
that's how my parents felt when I was watching.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
Oh yeah, like Happy Days.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
Yeah, yes, Like do I like this or not because
it's a little close.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
To her huh yeah? So yeah, yep. The tapes hysterical tapes.
So Lou locks Jackie in her apartment and she's dis
made to find that Jackie broke out, and I found
it simultaneously hilarious, ominous, and kind of heartbreaking at the

(13:54):
juxtaposition of the broken window and door and the cheery
note yeah gone out back later, don't worry, right, which
is you know kisses nineteen eighties emoji for kiss yes, yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
X'es and o'sgs.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
Okay, that's kind of hilarious, I like, but also ominous
because she was only able to break out because she
was all right out.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
That's the only she wanted to break out, right, she
was writing yeah, like yeah, it's bananas. Also, she had
a dead bolt that didn't have a out. When she
locked a dead bolt, it did not occur to me
once she's locking her in, it's a dead bolt, you
unlock you from the inside, But then you could see.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
It was not, And I was like, see it's very eighties,
this chick.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
This chick though, but you would usually have if that
was the case, there would be a key right there
in the inside, usually like an extra key, like you.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
Know because well blah blah blah. But like there wasn't
an extra key. She literally locked her in, knowing she
was locking her in.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
And also.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
I don't know, like it told two stories it once.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
It told it told the level of understanding that that
Lou has about how to.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
Run this thing and the eighties.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
And they concid, well, because now you would never have
an apartment that had that didn't have the thing that
unlock in the inside.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
Where you can just turn it right right, right right.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
But like my parents live in a house that was
built in the eighties, and some of their locks.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Are that way where.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
That you have to have a key on the inside
and usually they keep key in it.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yes, that's the other thing people did a.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Lot of people what a lot of people did, which
is why they moved to the little handle.

Speaker 3 (15:40):
The genius who went, hmmm, that's handy. Maybe we should
just always put one there, yeah, yeah, and then.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
People can get out. But then you know, there was
a whole thing like you don't want somebody to be
able to break the window and.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
Unlock it, right, yeah, which is why other mechanism, it
was a whole thing, I get it.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
But but the but the way that she.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
Locks her in, Like looking at that whole scene, you
just know that Lou is this like well trained individual
who is trying to live a normal life but keeps
getting sucked back in and if she wanted to, she
could run it.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Well, but she's really a good person, right exactly.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
I'm a serial killer and that's very scared, like so conflicted.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah. Well, and it's funny because later Lou's dad tells
her just stay put, and you know what, she can't
also just stay put. So now she's playing Jackie's.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
Role yep, yep, but for different reasons.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
But for different reasons, right yeah, but it's still the same,
like somebody who thinks they know better is telling somebody
who wants freedom that they can't have it. M m.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
And Jackie's case, I mean clearly abused, abused completely right god,
I mean the abuse she suffered is a different kind
of abuse that most people don't ever actually have to address,
you know, like they.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
Don't most people are never going to address that, but
you know, still nevertheless very abused. Yeah, you know. And
then there's Jackie. I don't know what she went through.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Well, I mean, I mean that it's only alluded to,
but yeah, and then yes, Jackie adopted family calls her
a monster and tells her not to call again. And
I'm like, okay, So she says that she's adopted at
like thirteen, she can't be twenty two, right, yeah, the

(17:39):
character in this right, And I'm like, so they're rejecting her,
so probably she felt Almost all people who are adopted
go through a period of where they're dealing with feeling
rejected by their biological family. Even if their biological family
gave them up because they could not provide for them,

(18:00):
you know, they still have this level of rejection they
didn't want to try all this stuff. Well, obviously Jackie
went through that at some point, like when she was
able to really like feel it in the moment, because
she wasn't adopted till she was thirteen. And now she's
been rejected again, Yeah, by the adoptive family who calls

(18:21):
her a monster. I'm like, that is a lot of
rejection for one person, and no wonder when lud tells
her you should use steroids, it'll help your dreams come true.
And yeah, she's like, you're right, Look, you.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
Care about me, I know. And that scene was so complicated.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
I mean, I thought about vaccine because on the one hand,
Jackie was initially like, m no, I don't do that,
and Alul's response was like, oh you don't do that.
Totally cool, your body, your choice, totally cool, no worries
here if you want it, like there was no press right,
but like yet.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
And yet she wanted acceptance so badly. She was like, here,
let me throw all my morals right out the window. Yeah,
and do this because you offered it to me, Because
I want you to accept me, even though you've already
told me you'll accept me if I don't do it.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
And then and then Lou had no idea she was
abusing him. No, not for a while, No, until that
was came out later. Then then when it hits her,
she's like, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yeah, it's emotions. Yeah. So it was filmed mostly on
location in New Mexico. Yeah, New Mexico where in Albuquerque
where breaking Bad better call Saul Stranger things in part
and No Country for Old men all films.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah, it was good.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Ohn. By the way, this is Kristen Stewart's best reviewed
film ever.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Oh really good, John Christian.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Ninety four percent on Rotten Tomatoes. She is good. She is.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
There are still things about her that are her.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
She she's a character like like a Brad Pitt, like
a Ryan Reynolds. There are certain things that come with
her everywhere, right, and yet I still disappear into her character. Sure,
that's what makes her a movie star.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Yeah, all right, So resources, there's a lot to unpack here. Yeah,
but mostly we see a lot of domestic violence. Yes,
let's talk about that. The National Domestic Violence Hotline the
hotline dot org. You can call them at one eight

(20:43):
hundred and seven nine nine safe one eight hundred seven
nine nine seven two three three. You can go to
the hotline dot org and live chat with them, or
you can text the word start to eight eight seven
eight eight and get help. Yes, this time of year,

(21:04):
we are in December of twenty twenty four, they do
tend to be busier, So get the help. But understand
that there may be a little bit of a weight
because this is a particularly contentious time for a lot
of people. Some common signs of abuse insulting, demeaning, or

(21:25):
shaming you, especially if it's done in front of other people.
Intimidating you through threatening looks or actions. They don't even
have to like do anything to you that they can
intimidate you just by the promise of a look. And
of course if they're going to intimidate you with weapons,

(21:46):
that's a problem. If they destroy your belongings, that's a problem.
And we have to understand that it's more than physical abuse.
So domestic violence is defined as a pattern of behavior
used by one partner to maintain power and control over
another partner in an intimate relationship. Anybody can be a

(22:08):
victim or a perpetrator and they're trying to manipulate you,
control you. They might physically harm you to do this.
They might train force you to do things that you're
uncomfortable doing with threats, emotional abuse or financial control. Financial
abuse is a thing. I don't think we really see

(22:28):
that here so much. I need some way, Well, it's.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
A financial abuse.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
That's fair.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
Every time there's any kind of abuse in someone who
is a stay at home mom, there's a financial abuse, sure,
because the person they're very shelter and ability to take
care of their family right is tied to the relationship
being intact.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
That's fair.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
Yeah, that's the number one reason people don't reach out
for help, according to quite a few studies. Yeah, that
that for a lot of people. That is the thing
that stops them from married, I should say, particularly from
married married with children, like that's the thing that stops them.
And unfortunately, in my long history of being a pastor,
I have counseled and helped and been a part of

(23:13):
many conversations with women over the years where that is
the thing, right, nobody's going to hire me. I don't
have any work experience that I've been I have been
raising children right, and.

Speaker 2 (23:24):
I don't have anything of my own right.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
I can't leave.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
I have to make this work right.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
And that's fair. I can see that. I think it
depends on the partner whether the physical abuse comes along
with financial abuse. If they're preventing you in insisting that
you don't get a job, then that's I think part
of it.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Sometimes it's not that well, sometimes.

Speaker 3 (23:48):
There's a control factor in that way, right. The other
part of it is the implicit that we made a decision.
This is how we survive right, because the finances and
just this is my experience, right, But you know, like
for a lot of individuals, they make a decision to
have a stay at home parent because financially it makes
sense for a lot of people because daycare is too expensive.

(24:11):
One partner makes enough and the other partner, the types
of jobs they would be qualified for based on when
they got married and had kids, would only pay for
the daycare. So when that's the it's not the same
thing as like a career person stopping having a career
where they could just then go start their career again
and like maybe that would.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Be hard, but you could do it.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
It's the literal like, hey, per tradition, we got married
out of college.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
I never really had a job anything that they would make.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
I didn't go to college. Yeah, he went to college
and I didn't.

Speaker 3 (24:44):
Right, because we were doing the partnership thing, which can
be beautiful in many ways. But if there is a
situation where a woman needs to step out, they are
no longer viable in the marketplace, and so if they
had a job, it wouldn't be So there's a lot
of times a decision made that this he's going to
provide the money.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
I'm gonna you know, hold the fort down.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
And all the things.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
But then then when it turns abusive, right, there's a
financial hold right that I don't even think the man
was smart enough to think about. It's just an adverse
impact of being a risk of being the stay at
home parent.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
Right, And so like you might be a stay at
home parent, and it's not financial abuse because you are
an equal partner in how the money is spent. You
don't have to ask for an allowance. Regular good marriage,
you might yeah, exactly, you might have a budget of
like this is discretionary money and things that are outside

(25:43):
of that. Then maybe we should talk about as a
couple because that's partnership, right, right, But that's not No.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
It's kind of like it's like not all financial abuse.
I mean, well it's like not all abuse has to
have financial abuse, but right, if the situation is such, right,
then that that.

Speaker 1 (26:01):
Is that becomes financial abuse because they don't have.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
All unintended as an adverse impact.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
That was a lot of the stuff I saw, okay,
where women couldn't leave because they had been decided a
long time ago to stay home and I made them dependent.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah, and it's the dependency. That is like, it's an abuse.

Speaker 3 (26:22):
In its in its outcome, yes, not intended right, Yeah,
that makes sense, I get it.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
Okay, yeah, all right.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
Also, Safehousecenter dot org how you can help survivors of
domestic violence, because we saw Lou really trying to help
her sister. And the first thing you can do is
believe them when they tell you that the abuse is happening,
and you may see it their partner insults them in
front of other people. They're constantly worried about making their

(26:53):
partner angry, which we definitely saw when Beth and JJ
were having dinner in a restaurant with Jackie and Lou
that I was like, oh my gosh, that's such a
trauma response. She's trying to diffuse the situation and only
makes it worse because he's so unpredictable. She has no
idea what to do. They make excuses for their partner's behavior, ding,
ding unexplained marks or injuries, changes in their personality. If

(27:19):
you think somebody is being abused, listen and understand that
they may not be ready or able to leave the
relationship right away, and don't pressure them to pressure them.
I mean, that's the thing that's so hard. So you
need to be supportive and listen. Don't place shame, blame

(27:40):
or guilt. You do not want to blame the victim.
Just because they made choices in the past that led
to the situation doesn't mean it's their fault.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
No, right, right, exactly. Yeah, and it's not as easy
as people think it is.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yeah, so offer specific help childcare, their disportation or transportation
for the kids, those kinds that that's what Blu was doing.
She was offering to drive the boys to school. Yeah.
You can make a safety plan with them, especially if
they're not ready to leave. You can set up a

(28:16):
safe word that if you're talking to them and they
say a word or phrase, you know they need to
leave right away and their abuser won't know. You can
encourage them to talk to somebody who can help, such
as the twenty four hour helpline for the Safe House Center.
Now they're based out of ann Arbor, Michigan, but their

(28:37):
twenty four hour helpline is available to anybody. They'll help
you find resources. It's seven three four nine nine five
five four four four. They can help you find resources
in your area. If they decide to stay as hard
as it may be need to be supportive, and once
they decide to leave, don't just stop helping. They need

(29:02):
your help more than ever.

Speaker 3 (29:03):
Yes, yeah, So here's how it works.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Christie erects her search history. Hey an essay.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
We promise it's nothing more nefarious than a podcast to
find out what's true some of the psychological motivations behind
the character's actions and real life applications that relate to
our topic. I have no idea what Christy decided to
look up could be the same thing that captured my
curiosity or something I never thought of.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
All right, so is it true?

Speaker 3 (29:34):
Well no, no, it's fictional. It's a fictional story.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
But watch to the end, you know that.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
Oh wow? Yeah? But did it have some truth?

Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah I did, Yeah I did.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
It was good. Let's start with the uh smoking cessation
program that Lo was listening to. Is it real?

Speaker 3 (29:58):
There was something similar to this? I'm sure I know
there was, because there was definitely a bunch of self
help tapes about it, and the stuff that they were
saying wasn't totally wrong, you know, And by the end
she did actually quit quit.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
Okay, so it was a real program that they were
playing during this By a man named Alan Carr.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
So it was the real one.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
It was the real one.

Speaker 3 (30:24):
That's great.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
I love that it was the real one. He wrote
books and made tapes and later CDs about the smoking cessation,
and then he broadened it to other advices.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
Yes, I mean, because like I knew about this, but
like my.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
Mom was a smoker, right, and she didn't listen to that.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yeah, well she might have. She might have benefited because
this it's called the easy way. And I guess h
Alan Carr smoked for many many years. He would let
the participants so before they put out all the books

(31:06):
and stuff, he like created some centers where people could
go and basically get counseling. Okay, right, and he let
them smoke right up until the end, like that was
the thing. You keep smoking until you until you get
to the point where you don't need it anymore. And

(31:28):
there was no like patches, and I mean he completely
ignored the physical aspects of smoking, right, like completely he
went He just went full psychological. That the idea that
all smokers are trying to do is alleviate the symptoms
of withdrawal, which I mean, yes, and that's kind of

(31:51):
what people are doing. But there's not like he claimed,
there was no high, There was no like relief. All
it was was the relief of the feeling of withdrawal
from the cigarettes, right, And he's like, well, people who
don't smoke just feel that way all the time, like

(32:14):
do they, though, I mean, there's got to be a
little uplift or else nobody would get addicted in the
first place. There's got to be something that.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Yeah, it just goes away, right from what I mean.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
I'm not a smoker, but my mom was heavy smoker, right, well,
like even my husband was a smoker and I'm a him, right, Like,
it goes away, yeah, and then then you're addicted because
of the nicotine and habit, so like it really is
at that point relieving the need, right, because the high
has a long since past, right exactly, and only in
the first part, right, the high is it not really

(32:46):
even a high. It's just a warm like when you know,
looked like from everybody high.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
It's not high, Like no, it's like other types of high.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
No, no, no, you know it's not. Yeah, but he
also that will power was not required. The reasons that
you smoke is because you have doubt and fear in
your mind. Uh huh, yeah, and many others. Yeah, I mean,
and it continues today. They still have like clinics, they

(33:17):
still put out books. It's interesting though. In two thousand
and six, mister Carr was diagnosed with lung cancer at
the age of seventy one, and they said it might
not have actually been from when he smoked himself, but
all those years of secondhand smoke while he helped treat

(33:38):
people and help them get over it. But he also
said that since I smoked my final cigarette twenty three
years ago, I have been the happiest man in the world,
and I feel the same way today. So he was
just happy that he could help people. Yeah, it's a
good program.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
I mean, it really speaks to the the you know,
ability for applied pech to say, here's what we do now, right,
and this is an approach, this is a weigh in,
and this is an approach. I'm gonna do this, and
you know what, it works for some people exactly. Their
clinics were very successful. Ninety percent success rate in helping

(34:18):
smokers to stop for three months, oh good, and uh
after twelve months, fifty one percent we're still not smoking.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
Okay, So I mean for something that involves no medication
and only like, yeah, you know, manipulating how you think
about it? Yeah, pretty good, it's pretty great.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yeah yeah, well done.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
Yeah yeah. So the locations, they're all bad, they're all fictional,
but they're like real places. But the Creator Gym was fictional,
but it's a real place in rear Rancho, New Mexico,
as our mik hasa apartments. They look very different than
they are in the film, but there is is a

(35:01):
larger complex called that Albuquerque with very nice amenities. The
hotel in Las Vegas World Plaza, it was actually the
Crown Plaza Hotel in Albuquerque, Okay. And the Lousville gun
Club is the Del Norte gun Club Okay. Yeah. How

(35:22):
about the bodybuilding competition.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised that that's real because
they definitely that has happened, that occurs. That is a thing, yes,
whether or not there was one in the eighties at
that moment, but it's definitely.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
A real thing.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
They happened. Yes, but the USFBB Championship not a thing
is not?

Speaker 2 (35:43):
Okay, all right?

Speaker 1 (35:44):
That it is inspired by real bodybuilding culture, and it
made sense to put it in Las Vegas, because that's
kind of this like nexus for entertainment. That's the kind
of event that would happen in Las Vegas then and no,
so all right, So there was a police officer that
lou Senior had on his payroll and Lewis Senior asks

(36:09):
if a situation could be a suicide, and the law
enforcement that he was paying said, no, they don't explode
like that in real life, not like in the movies.
Is that true?

Speaker 3 (36:24):
I think that's fifty percent true, But I don't think
they explode like that. They might burst into flames, but
a fireball scene from.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
Space, yes the movies. Yes, he would have to have
a full take of gas.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
Would there would have to be some sort of spark,
you know, like the conditions aren't impossible, and yet.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
And yet they are incredibly rare. The policy genius asked
this very question. Can they explode like in the movies?
We see them explode a lot in movies, And basically
it just doesn't work that way, even when they fall
off a cliff or crash into a building, unless there's
something else there, probably not gonna explode. Rarely. If you

(37:15):
have an electric car, if the lithium ion battery is
exposed to extreme heat or there's a manufacturing defect. Theoretically,
it can happen again, incredibly rare, and there's gonna be
signs before that happens. Something's gonna catch fire. There's gonna
be spark sleaking oil.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
Yeah, it's gonna be a fire before it explodes.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
Right, and it's gonna be a fire. Almost always is
going to be all it is. There's not gonna it's
so exceedingly rare that there would be an explosion. Yeah,
and you would have to be carrying something that was explosive,
like it may be a propane tank. Yeah, you know, okay,
thing like that, right, and then it gets triggered from
an outside force. Your car gets hit and then that

(38:00):
hank is compromised and none it might explode or you know,
it's been rigged with an explosive device. Yeah, this is
These are the situations.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
Okay, So there's this there's this scene in the movie
Face Off No No, No, sorry, Broken Arrow, Oh same era.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
You know Broken Arrow?

Speaker 4 (38:18):
Uh huh okay, where they're having like this chase where
the good guy has the nuclear weapon on the they're
like getting like they're stealing the nuclear weapon back from.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
The bad guy, which is John Travolta in the movie.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
I think it is Christian Christian Slater, Yeah, Christians later.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
Is the good guy, right, and so like they're chasing
and so so the bad guy's people are all trying
to fire weapons at the good guy, and there's this
hilarious moment because you know, well, John Travolta is funny
as and he looks, he's like, he puts his hand out,
he's like, can we stop firing at the nuclear weapons?

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Very funny.

Speaker 3 (38:59):
Also, not a thing they were doing with those weapons
was ever gonna set off that nuclear react that no weapon,
and so it was just very funny because all the
nerds man that wouldn't matter. But the point was that
the movie is exaggerating to prove the point of the situation. Right,
he doesn't know what he's dealing with, he doesn't know

(39:21):
what he's doing.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
He's nervous.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
Also, when when cars fall down a cliff, it's very underwhelming.
Let it explode to get the point across about what's happening.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
The gravity. It gives you an emotion of the.

Speaker 3 (39:33):
Gravity of the situation, whereas if you just push the
car over, you'd be like, h and that's it.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Yeah, and that's not memorable. No, that doesn't like give
you the real emotions. So like that's the thing, you know,
truth without facts.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
All right. So Jackie had this gnarly bruising on her
steroid injection locations, and that's a real thing.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yeah, Like if you do it between the toes like
that your fashion. Yeah, really, anywhere you're going to get tracks, yes,
I mean yes, that's basically what it was, track marks.
But even for normal sorts of uses of steroids, bruising
at the sight of the injection is a known complication

(40:17):
for almost all shots nu pigeon shots, yeah, insulin shots.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
Yeah, all of them. Yeah. Yeah. And so Jackie endured
some pretty intense and frightening hallucinations after her heavy steroid use.
Can that happen?

Speaker 2 (40:34):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah it can.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
It's called steroid induced psychosis. It's well documented. However, it's rare, right,
and is common at higher doses. It's not more prevalent
for people who have psychological issues already. It is almost

(40:58):
entirely dosed dependent, so good you can avoid it.

Speaker 3 (41:03):
Which makes sense because Jackie was abusing it at a high.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
Level, right and and like rapidly, like like all of
a sudden was like, oh, I need another shot. Yeah,
like a shot. Yeah, it went wild. Yeah. And they
actually think that it's a little under reported for people
who are taking it like as prescribed, because the psychosis
might not be very severe and it's not long lasting,

(41:31):
so it will resolve without intervention. Like you might just
feel kind of off or be a little more paranoid
or like have weird dreams or whatever, but it kind
of goes away. Yeah, right, Okay, there are some criteria
that you have before you can call it stereoid and
douce psychosis, okay, which I appreciated. This disturbance cannot be

(41:56):
better explained by a non medication induced psyche psychological disorder
or psychotic disorder. That's psychotic disorder, and it must cause
clinically significant distress or functional impairment.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
That's in any psychological disorder.

Speaker 1 (42:13):
That's number one.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
Has to cause some kind of malfunctioning, right.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
And there's I mean, this National Institute Health article is
very interesting to have a whole case study just wild.
Poor guy, he had a hard time event and it
wasn't his fault. It wasn't even really like that. Hyah
doose he was just prone to it. Oh, yes, there
aren't very many studies because it's really unethical to give

(42:41):
people enough steroids to cause it.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
Well, there's a lot of experimental studies, right, right, yes,
because I can't experiment right.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
You have to look at it after the fact, and
it can be difficult to be absolutely certain that it's
something there and the diagnosis hinges on exclude because you
have to make sure that something else didn't cause it, right, right,
So it can be difficult to be certain that something
was that this was a stereoid psychosis. Right. All of

(43:16):
the sources that we use to inform our discussion here
on Killer Fund Podcast can be found on our social media.
Join us on Facebook at Killer Fun Podcast, exploring the
intersection of crime and entertainment. You can find us on
Twitter at killer Funpod, or you can send us an
email at Killerfunpodcast at gmail dot com and I'd be

(43:37):
happy to share a link to whatever information you're looking for.
We love to hear from you. You might learn a
little something too. Psychology break all right, So the whole
title of this article just says that all partner violence
is common. It's common. It just is. It's according to

(44:02):
the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Partner violence is
common is on their page for the frequency of intimate
partner violence. Yes, it's very common. Yes includes physical, sexual, emotional,
or psychology, psychological insults, threats, intimidating behavior, controlling behavior like finances, communications,

(44:26):
basic needs. All of those are common. How common one
in three women and one in four men in the
United States.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
Doesn't that just blow your mind?

Speaker 1 (44:40):
That is why doctor Danielle render Turmod wrote this article literally,
she said, to dispel that isolation and the myth of
rarity by helping victims and survivors i intimate partner violence
know that they are seen and not alone because we
don't talk about it because we find it shameful, right right.

(45:05):
If we name it and understand that it's the world
and that it's common, we can better help people. People
will be less likely to feel ashamed of coming forward
and getting help if they know that every third woman
you see has experienced this.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
It's I'm gonna all right, I'm gonna go I'm gonna bloviate,
not bloviate, I'm gonna educationally a bloviate. Okay, it's hard
because there's no models for therapy for a couple that
has endured violence that actually prescribes or the goal is

(45:45):
for them to stay together. That's why people don't speak up. Yeah,
because here's what we don't want to. We don't want
to admit that the perpetrators of this violence aren't evil.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
Right. Beth didn't see JJ as evil.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
No, And I don't know why she didn't.

Speaker 3 (45:59):
No, don't either, because I just want to, on a
shallow level, be like, ah, I No, I don't want to.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
I don't want to care. But the point is, when
we see somebody.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
Who is being hurt, we want to We want to
just take that partner, put them in a tiny little
box and say, oh, you're one of those.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
We want to other them, and we don't want to
know their story.

Speaker 3 (46:20):
And so because of that, because because it seems for
people who are not experiencing it that that would be evil,
what happens is is we ignore the fact that it's
not evil. Real people are actually perpetuating violence.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
And they themselves don't want to.

Speaker 3 (46:40):
I would say that like I'm gonna go out on
a limb here, but I am gonna say this. I
think one thing we have not researched enough, and I
think it's a bias is the fact that the love
bombing situation where it's like love bombing and then abusive
and love bombing, all that baby, I'm so sorry, all
that stuff, and we tell people that is a lie.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
It's not a lie.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
No, they mean it when they say it. They do.
They want to be better. They want to be better,
and they're not really capable of changing long.

Speaker 2 (47:08):
Term, well not without help, no, but are they capable?

Speaker 3 (47:12):
But they can't because nobody speaks up about it because
a it is criminal, and b like if they speak
out about it in such a way, they are told
they're unchangeable, that they're just damaged goods, that they will
that they're evil.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
So there's no help for that.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
So research doesn't investigate how do we reinforce positively this
I'm sorry moment? How do we capture that and figure
out what's happening that triggers them to go into this
other thing because that violence is not against the spouse,
it's in defense of themselves. Yeah, and if we could

(47:51):
just ask better questions, but we don't want to because
that's submitting that they may not be evil, that they might.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
Be good people.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
Uh huh, it's really annoying, which is all yes, because
really what we need to be doing is telling the perpetrator,
we understand that you're feeling threatened, and here's a better
way to cope with feeling threatened than hitting the people
you love. Yep.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
We need to tell them that they're okay, that's horrible.
People don't want to do that. No therapy model.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
Allows for that, to say it's okay that.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
You learned poorly, there's your next million dollar ideas out right,
I mean, well, and that's hard because if you're in
league with a narcissist who's also abusive, then they don't
want help.

Speaker 4 (48:37):
Right.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
But as common as that is, right, not all narcissists,
which is why I'm so annoyed with like the psychobabble
therapy speak all over social media.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
Not everybody is a narcissist.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
No, And we know that because the prevalence right of narcissism.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
Yeah, is like under ten percent.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
Yeah, and per scale, the operational definition is different.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:00):
Okay, And so but if we talk about like you're
what social media is talking about when we say narcissist, no,
that prevalence rate because they're mostly talking about psychopaths, not.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
But whatever, But give it to funny. That just means
there's way more psychopaths than we realize.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
But there's not.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
They just decide they are othering others that they don't like.
They're calling people they don't have a difficulty with psychopaths
to validate.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
Their own experience.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
And everyone who posts something like that, I'm like, I immediately
now I don't want to have a conversation with you
because I know that if you posted that about narcissists
and all of that, that you're othering people and your
your height and you're self serving. Your self serving bias
is off the chart, and it shows to anybody with

(49:48):
a real education in this, So don't share it if
you don't really know what you're saying. Not every abusive
spouse is narcissist. Likely they're so hard inside. That's fair,
And they can be hurt and also be narcissists. They're
not mutually exclusive, No, they're not. Probably they became narcissists

(50:09):
because they were hurt, but the company was hurt because.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
They became defensive. Okay, not the same thing as a narcissist, right.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
Right, right, But there's got there's contributing factors. Some people
might be born that way, right, Some people might be
born that way and have things happen that triggers it,
and some people are just damaged it, right.

Speaker 3 (50:32):
Some people are learned behavior, some people are like But
for narcissism, we're saying that's a personality trait. Sure, those
are fairly stable, which is why the prevalence rate is
actually kind of low. So for most people who are
dealing with somebody who is being selfish, they're not narcissists.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
They're being selfish, right, just call that out. They're being selfish,
you don't.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
You Still all the things they say about it are true.
You still can set boundaries against it. You can still
decide that that's not worth your fight. You can still
decide that you're not going.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
To engage with it.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
Totally fine, but but it diminishes the actual misery, sure
of narcissism and the people who have to deal with that.
That is, to call it narcissism when it's just plain
old selfishness.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
Yeah, because guess what, we're all.

Speaker 3 (51:22):
Not immune right selfishness and that. But you know, anyways,
off my soapbox, I could go on forever.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
Anyway. The point is it's not that uncommon, which is.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
Said, Yes, one thing that lou did really really well,
oh yeah, was she did not tell Beth to leave
until like Beth was literally hospitalized, and that was the
first time she really was like, you have got to
leave this man. Yes, that was the first time because

(51:53):
she was literally demonstrably in a dangerous situation for herself.
And Psychology Today has a article by Jamie Cannon, who's counselor,
asking people why they don't just leave really like discredits

(52:14):
the victims as if they have a choice as to
whether they can stay. Right. We talked about this kind
of a bit with the financial abuse that you know
they might not have a choice, but it also sets
up relationships as if they happen in a vacuum, right, like,
here is this bad person who is abusing you. You

(52:34):
should leave that. Yeah, Okay, it's not that easy, because
relationships are, as she says, multi dimensional, fluid, and incredibly intricate.
Asking a domestic abuse of victim why they didn't just
leave the relationship is like asking a nurse why don't
they don't just ignore their more challenging patients. I thought

(52:55):
that was really interesting. And then there's this kind of
cycle now but it doesn't always follow the pattern exactly
and it's not predictable, which is part of the problem.
But typically there's some tension building where you see the
victims walking on eggshells around their partner, that they're taking

(53:19):
a lot of energy to avoid triggering their partner because
they know they're in this tension building phase. And it's
almost impossible for victims to leave at this time because
all of their energy is focused on trying not to
cause what's coming next, which is the incident. Yeah, whatever

(53:40):
that is, whether it's being abused in like physically or
emotionally or sexually, there's something there. Victims might flee because
of acute harm, right, Like they're escaping for their lives literally,
but it's very rarely planned very well or executed very well,

(54:04):
and so it really sets victims up to fail. So,
particularly if there's children involved, that can be a very
difficult situation. So they've not been able to put together
a good plan to leave because they were so intent
on trying to avoid the incident that they're not set
up to actually leave. So they might leave to avoid

(54:26):
being murdered, right, but they're going to probably go back
and then there's reconciliation. Like you said, the love bombing,
they're wooed back their tie, won't do it again, I
love you. And then things will get better for a while.
There'll be a calm and abusers will cooperate and they'll
work on the relationship. They're remorseful all of these things,

(54:48):
and then bam, then it starts over again. Yep. Right,
because they haven't gone to counseling, they don't have tools
to deal to diffuse use the tension building situation. But it's,
as I said, not a predictable pattern. So because you
can't predict it, it's be very difficult. And when you

(55:10):
get to the calm stage, you just you want to
pretend like it's all behind you. Yeah, so you're not
making plans. The most dangerous time for victims is right
after they leave. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
Always, yeah, always.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
Because the abuser will do just about anything to get
their victim back and it's very, very challenging to deal
with it. And the reason victims don't just leave their
relationships is simple. They are trying to survive. Yeah, yep.

(55:45):
So I'm like, oh, good, okay, Well she did a
good job. They did a really good job of depicting
that in a way that was really accurate and relatable
and honest.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
For somebody who understood and got it right, right, like
who really understood and wanted to be there and sacrificed
to stay in case she needed her right right, Like
that was that was a big deal too, like she
the only reason she was there.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
Yeah, you know, and uh, it's hard, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:14):
I think it's hard.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
It's hard. It's hard to watch somebody you love be abused.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
I think that's why, like little things like when they're dating,
point being honest about red flags, not not being all.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Like, well you know you like them, so that's all right,
you do you.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
No, no, no, be honest about your concerns. You're if
you have a real friendship, it'll survive your honesty. But
also you might provide information unseen because not all of
these abusers will become abusers, right, right, like if unless
they're in the relationship, but maybe they'll grow, right, maybe
they'll be better spouses later.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
Well yeah, right, Like if you break up with them,
they might reevaluate their behavior and say, oh, you know what,
maybe going forward, I shouldn't do that.

Speaker 3 (56:59):
Right, It's and it's what it moves into that philosophical ideal,
Like we can't show that in science so that it works,
but we do know that in human history, like when
we when we stop tolerating a behavior in general, Yeah,
it becomes an maladaptive of behaviors.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
So why don't we just try that. Yeah, let's be
honest about the red flags.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
Yeah, early on, I do have to say I really appreciate, like,
am I the asshole groups? I see a lot of
a lot of women posting about like my boyfriend said this,
My boyfriend's doing this, and I told him I'm not
comfortable with it, and he told me I'm a jerk.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Yeah am I?

Speaker 1 (57:38):
Yeah? Am I a jerk? And I'm like, nasis, this
is a red flag? Red flag, like yes, like don't
have children with this person?

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Yes, like every friend.

Speaker 3 (57:49):
I understand why friends haven't heard time doing it, but
they're just so worried.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
About like because they're going to break up and get
back together. And you don't want to be the one
who said the best stuff about the boyfriend that they
just got back together with.

Speaker 2 (58:01):
Yeah, you don't want to be that guy.

Speaker 3 (58:02):
I want it.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
Yeah, you want to be the person that they can
come to when they have a problem. So we don't
want to say the thing, right, So I love this
when there's like this whole group of you know, strangers, yeah,
who can read it from a different perspective, and you
don't care what I have to say about it except I'm.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
Just going to give you data. And that's a group.

Speaker 3 (58:24):
That's that was when the group makes a better decision
than the individual.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
Yeah for sure. All right, So we know that there's
you know, this brain chemical that allows us as humans
to create connections, you know, oxytocin, And it turns out
then it may be a factor in domestic violence. There
was some studies done and Robert T. Muller, PhD wrote

(58:54):
an article love hormone oxytocin link to domestic violence. So
it's like the glue that brings all together, right, you know,
so you kind of need it. And the surprising research
was that high levels of oxytocin can be related to
intimate partner violence. But that is only if the abusive

(59:16):
individual is already an aggressive person. So if they're already
an aggressive person and then they fall in love, they
get real protective and real territorial about it. So basically,
if you have an inclination toward intimate partner violence. Actually

(59:38):
falling in love can enhance that, and that's why it's
really important to recognize those red flags early, yes, and
point them out to people ask for help, so that
you can again they can learn this kind of behavior
is not tolerated, maybe they won't perpetuate it. And also

(01:00:00):
you are not in a situation that's.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Unsafe, right yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
Real life. So JJ tells Jackie at the gun range
that everyone wanted to shoot a Bretta after die Hard,
Like not just die Hard, it was die Hard and
lethal weapon both of the man both of those years,
the Bretta, And it's a very recognizable weapon, and it

(01:00:33):
has an extended slide release which makes it really recognizable,
and it has this large ejection port which makes the
ejection of the round. Yeah, it's very reliable and it's
a lot easier to fix any malfunction pretty quickly. And
that's why in nineteen eighty five it became the United

(01:00:55):
States military side arm of choice. Yeah, so yeah, totally.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
When did that? I wonder when that changed.

Speaker 3 (01:01:01):
I was looking at ambretta to like a six hour
to like a glock, yeah, which is like a glock
is like right, absolutely standard now right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
Yeah, I mean, and glock is what you often see
in the movie now Domil Yeah yeah, all right, Uh,
some people do keep hercules beetles as pets.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
That's weird. Like that guy was weird.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
Oh yeah, he was.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
He's so weird. I get it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
I get it that it was part of like how
he transported the weapons right across the border.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Right. Also, he was weird. He was weird. He was weird.
But it's native to Mexico, Central America, South America, and
the Lesser Antilles. And it is the longest surviving species
of beetle in the world and one of the largest
flying insects.

Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
He worried ate it, he did it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
It's a good source of protein. It was so mad,
and he was so mad.

Speaker 3 (01:02:01):
He's you know what cartel bosses are weird, by the way,
that's the big spoiler. Yeah, this guy is not just
running guns across the border, y'all. This guy is in
control massive mansion.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Yeah, and he was girming.

Speaker 2 (01:02:19):
How Lou kill that guy when she was just a kid,
Like that's.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Why Lou is so good at everything. Yeah, because she's suing.

Speaker 3 (01:02:26):
Which makes her kind of like a I hate to
say it. But this is what makes her also kind
of attractive as a character, because because once she starts
showcasing these skills, you're kind of like, what's going on there, Lou.
Then she's all like, let me bust out my like
secret box with my weapons concluded.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
And and rolls of cash. And I'm like, oh, yeah,
like you if you wanted to, you just know, you
know what to do.

Speaker 1 (01:02:55):
Uh huh. She knows what to do and decided she
didn't want.

Speaker 3 (01:02:59):
To do it, and then she held it as an
ace in the hole. Huh all that time until the
moment it was necessary. Yeah, and then screwed her father
over so bad.

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
Oh, it was so good.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
It was beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
It was so good.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
I loved it.

Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
That's what made it that like popcorn eating kind of movie.
Alongside what could have been a very slow movie. Right,
it could have been could have a very slow, boring movie,
something that was very meaningful, and instead it was very exciting.

Speaker 1 (01:03:29):
Uh huh, it was fun. I thought, yeah, yeah, just
for a little more about the Beatles. So we see
the first time we see it, it's aid that he's
doing something with a grub and it's big and gross
and disgusting. Looking, and that larval stage can last up
to two years.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
What uh huh.

Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
The larva they can be up to one hundred grams
and eleven centimeters in lengths of like four and a
half inches, the amazing huge and then they go through
like a metamorphos this and the adult beetles only live
three to six months in captivity. What. Yeah, they're very
good for their habitat because they the larvae and the

(01:04:12):
adult beetles both feed on rotting wood, and they can
they can help like turn over wood and the rainforest
it falls. They they turn over, they turn over the
soil and nutrients and all that stuff, and it's great.
They don't negatively affect human activities in any way. They're
not disease vectors. They don't interfere with crops. And I

(01:04:37):
think that there's like a metaphor here about like the
long juvenile stage and the short adult life. Yeah, I'm
not exactly sure what it is, but I thought it
was that is interesting something to think of.

Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
It does make the larvae useful for running the guns though,
right yes, because a they last for so long right
stage ewe.

Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
Most people and they're like, oh that's okay. Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 2 (01:05:03):
Yeah, so I hate that it's smart.

Speaker 1 (01:05:06):
I know, it's really annoying. While it's unlikely, as we mentioned,
that a car would explode, I can't not mention the
Pinto a Ford Pinto from the nineteen seventies because Ford
knew that they were likely to explode and they did

(01:05:28):
not fix them. They decided that it was cheaper to
deal with the ramifications of some explosions than spending eleven
dollars on the vehicle to fix it. That was all
it costs. That was it. That was it, and they
could have fixed it. And the only reason that they
knew that was because they figured it out and they

(01:05:50):
had Canada had better safety restrictions, and so they found
that those didn't explode. Yeah, because the fuel tank was
in a space where it would get smushed in a
rear end collision and that actually could cause an explosion,

(01:06:13):
and the way they smushed it would trap the people inside.

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (01:06:18):
Yeah, so it would explode and then burn and the
people couldn't get out. Twice twenty seven people died. Yeah,
it was not good and it's a shame because it's
an adorable car. Is so cute.

Speaker 2 (01:06:31):
I don't remember it being cute.

Speaker 1 (01:06:32):
Oh, I knew somebody who had one, and they like
fixed it. It's just like a little very seventy sort
of hatchback door little thing. I've ridden in one. It
was adorable. Yeah, it was so cute.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
I don't remember. I just never thought it was cute.

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
Oh you didn't think it was cute. No, I find
it the big longhead and the like kind of small
passenger compartment. It was almost sporty.

Speaker 3 (01:06:59):
But the thing is almost sporty, like the Honda Civic
today with the hatchbag for more sporty.

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
Oh, that's true.

Speaker 3 (01:07:05):
I do like a good like okay, the Thunderbird, A
big big fan like Camaro muscle cars, but also like
really the Mustang. Yeah, I liked the Mustang. But the
pinzol No, I thought it was cute.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
Yeah it's fine.

Speaker 2 (01:07:20):
You know what it had potential?

Speaker 1 (01:07:21):
Yeah it did. And you know, I don't know why
they would risk all the bad press for a car
that exploded in a rear.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
In because they just stopped making it and just kept
making that F one fifty, which was.

Speaker 2 (01:07:34):
The best car to car sales sales for like the
last I don't know how that's fair. That's the thing.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
About markets because they can they change, they can absorb
that and keep going because as long as they do
good next time, Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, Actually, US
does have the least amount of standards regulations when it
comes with safety. Not only that, but like, for for instance,
baby products.

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
Oh yeah, you know, far more relaxed than like other areas. Yeah,
all right, So on a lighter note, Lovelace bleeding is
the common name of a flower. What. Yeah. The heirloom
amaranth is commonly called the love lies bleeding.

Speaker 2 (01:08:20):
Oh you know what, I have to understand what it
looks like and see it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
Long, wine red tassels of blooms. They're soft like chineel.
They have a nice texture to them. They are an
annual they will freeze seek to replant them every year,
but they're easy to grow, sun loving and drought tolerant.
They're beautiful, right, Oh, put them in a planter and

(01:08:46):
they will like it's almost like dripping blood. It's but
they're but in a beautiful way.

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
It's like, oh my gosh, they're gorgeous.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
I know, they're so pretty, and I'm like, surely that
it's not a coincidence. Oh, definitely, somebody knew Love Lies
Bleeding was a beautiful flower that looks like dripping blood.

Speaker 3 (01:09:08):
It's why have I why have we not seen this before?

Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
Wow, it is bananas.

Speaker 1 (01:09:17):
Yeah, it's beautiful. Go check it out. Yeah, I'll have
a link to some pictures. I'm a social so yeah,
amazing beautiful, which I'm like, oh that's so cool. Yeah. Yeah,
all right, So next time we're going on hiatus because
Merry Christmas.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
Merry Christmas.

Speaker 1 (01:09:35):
We celebrate Christmas. But that does not mean that we
will not have new episodes for you. I will have
outtakes episodes for you. I promised a full outtakes episode
on I don't we have so much done on that
terrible Nicole Kidman show.

Speaker 3 (01:09:50):
Oh wow, yeah, we have lots of stuff on them.

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
Yeah so that yeah, there will be a whole episodes
that's just that one and then others. And uh so,
we hope that you have a beautiful holiday season and
however you celebrate, or even if you don't celebrate, we
still hope it's like a beautiful time for you. And
uh yeah, enjoy and until next time, be safe, be kind,
and wash your hands.

Speaker 2 (01:10:15):
Bom Bomb