Eps. 104: Welcome Chanelle Carlin, Guest to Inspired Conversations with Kim Evans, Host.

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Well, welcome everyone. I am so excited, thank you for
being here today on Inspired Conversations. And I have a
very lovely guest today and this is beautiful because she's
a part of my tribe me as a makeup arty.
She's an officiant, Chanelle Carln. Welcome to Inspired Confession.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Thank you, Jim, thank you. I'm delighted to be here.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Wow, what you do is so fascinating. I've met a
few in in my in my journey of the work
that I do a lot, a lot of pastors that
I know for sure, but officiants, you know, they're they're
kind of like few and far in between. So what
you do and what we're going to share today is

(00:49):
going to be amazing. So Chanelle, may I share a
little bit about your background before me.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
You're awaken.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
I love it. I love it. Okay, So we're going
to get right into it. I'm actually going to read
a little bit of Chanell's background. Chanelle actually is a
professional wedding officient coach. She's an officiant and a coach.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
You're dual.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
Oh, this is great because she does retreats. We're going
to get into that as well. She's the founder of
Chanelle Carlin Weddings l l C, known as your celebrant
for Life. I like that.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
I like that.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
I like that she now specializes in crafting deeply personal
ceremonies and providing coaching to couple Woo, this is going
to be real good because I do that similarly as well.
And so she specializes in crafting deeply personal ceremonies and
providing coaching couples as they navigate their unique journeys to marriage. Yeah, okay,

(01:56):
oh god, I got so many questions for you. From
intimate elopements to transformative v ip betreats Chanelle's mission to
help her clients celebrate love authentically and intentionally. Welcome Chanel
to Spanky Station.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
So you know, I'm so exciting when you read it
like that. I got to.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
It's like it's like it's like, who is this lady
who is a magnificent woman right here?

Speaker 2 (02:27):
So, I.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Mean, what you do is just so fascinating. So okay, okay,
first let's just say this. She has a podcast show,
and your podcast show now is called Now You May Kiss, Yes,
and you're on Spotify.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Okay, so you all right, now go to Spotify and
I want you all to subscribe to Chanelle's show. I
was listening to one of your earlier podcasts. I thought
it was quite fascinating on how you got started. And
my condolences is from your mother and you were doing
a celebration of life to her and you and your

(03:09):
husband was putting together this celebration of life. Can you
can you start right there? How was that a pivotal
moment to you starting your business right there?

Speaker 2 (03:20):
As pushing So when my mom passed away, which is
now just almost eight years this year, she she died
very young. She had dementia and she she died at
the age of sixty seven. And we when we contacted

(03:40):
the funeral home, and you know, we organized everything. And
I'd never done anything, I mean other than when we
got married. I never needed a minister for anything, and
so I didn't know where to find someone to help
us with her celebration for life. So the funeral home

(04:01):
actually gave us the name of somebody to come and
do do the ceremony, right, do the do the funeral,
do the celebration of life. What happened was there was
this person who was there, who was up in front
of all of us, as a family who shared all
of the information that we put together. We put the

(04:23):
ceremony together, we wrote the eulogy, we wrote everything and
shared all the stories. All this person did was stand
up in front and and like recite what we had
all put together and shared what my husband I had
done and after and didn't for me, didn't do my mom.

(04:51):
It didn't do my mom justice me.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Okay, okay, I get that out. Yeah, I get that.
I get that.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
So what I thought after that point was that I
never wanted a another family member, friend, or anyone to
go through and experience like that where they needed a minister,
they needed someone to officiate, couldn't find someone, or if
the person that they found was just going through the
motions right like, anyone deserves better than that. And each

(05:20):
my couples that I and so I started based on
that when I see ordained and started offering my services,
no one needed me for any funerals or celebrations of life.
The weddings started coming to me like almost instantaneously.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
Really wow, So here you thought your purpose was going
to be a one season or for one reason, and
all of a sudden, wait a second, then these opportunities
weddings and things started coming to.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
You exactly since I have done some funerals. I just
did one this last week, in fact. But you like better, well,
I think I like them both for two different reasons. Wow,
it's two different It's two different times in people's lives.
But they're both so important and so worthy of celebration

(06:11):
and so filled with meaning. I love them both. I
can't say I like one over the other, actually, okay, I.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
Mean it takes a very strong heart in mind and
purpose and to be able to stand and to hold
the family up as well as to showcase the beloved
that has transitioned. But it takes a very wonderful gift
to be able to do that. So I'm very excited.

(06:39):
So how long have you been doing this? How long
you've been in business in terms of weddings.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
This year was the start of my eighth year.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Eight years. That's a good number. That's a good round number. So,
in addition to how you started from the transition from
your mother, what else has inspired you to come and
to continue being a wedding celebrant.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
I love it. I love love Okay, I love love it.
Really just that's probably the biggest thing.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
Is is is actually seeing couples not just be in love,
but being honored to meet these people who are on
this journey and there they decided they want to share
their lives together.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
So I just love and I am honored when they
choose to work with me. Okay, talk about that and
create something special and meaningful.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
So as you are, you are doing a wedding right,
and I'm sure there's coaching that goes along with that.
Do you ever say to yourself or do you ever
ask them are they receiving counseling? Because see, it's one
thing to cross that line, and that's really not the
finish line. A lot of people say marriage is a
finish line. I'm sorry, it ain't that. Ain't no finish line, y'all.

(07:55):
That's really the beginning. That's the initiation of you building
your lives together. Finish line when we leave and get
go beamed up in heaven with God. But my question
do you ask them at that time, like what are
your your your your security or or what do you
guys are going to do to stay married? Or what
you know? What is your you know, what's your safety

(08:17):
in terms of your conditioning, coaching or whatnot? Do you
or do you just not ask that question and you
stay out of it, or do you lend you know,
some coaching in that area, because you know one and
two couples in the statistics is still the same and
the divorce I wish we could change that.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Well, it is changing, it's just slow in changing. People
are staying married a little bit longer. They're also not
getting married as young.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
See, so it equals they're not getting they're not getting
married as fast or young. Okay, and maybe they might
not be divorced and maybe they getting older. I don't know.
Maybe it was the COVID thing that scared a lot
of people. We don't know right going through COVID. But
something got to give to be able to you know,
young people are afraid to get married, and I think

(09:07):
you're caring that on one of your podcasts. You know,
they're buying homes, they got dogs and cats. You know,
they're in these relationships. They even had babies one were two,
three maybe, but the marriage thing ain't happening. Why a
married thing ain't happening? Come on, why a married thing
ain't happening?

Speaker 2 (09:26):
So so I'll tell you it is. It's just delayed.
So so you asked me one question. I'll tell us
my first question. Then I'll come back to this one.
The first one. I don't ask them if they're getting counseling.
They're coming to me. Generally they're not members of a
faith community, so they're not required.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
State law does not require in most states does not
require that you get counseling. Some it does, okay, state
of Texas does.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
For instance, if you're a never been married before, you
have to get you have to prove you've gone through
premarital counseling. Okay, but not and every state requires that,
And so I don't ask that. What I do do
I spend time talking to them. I spend time getting
to know them. I ask them questions, I listen to

(10:11):
their story, and as I'm doing it, it's a really
organic communication style that I have. So it's really you know, guiding,
asking questions for them to think about, and letting them
think about things and process things a little bit. And
then if they have questions that I offer additional services

(10:32):
and supports. But I don't require premarital counseling, and it
isn't required any of the states around where.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
I I'm sure you wouldn't require it. You know, that's
really not our role. That's not my role a makeup artist.
But sometimes I might ask or just have you considered?
Are you considering this? You're right, it's not our job
to ask question if there's a need.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
If I'm getting a sense, you know, I really go
with my with my heart and with my with my gut,
and you know when it comes to that or or
how I'm being led. So I as I'm listening to them,
and I'm watching them because I have a lot of
couples who come from out of state or out of
the area, and so we have virtual meetings like this,
so I get to watch them. Not only do I

(11:19):
hear the responses to their questions, I see how they
interact with each other because I have them both on
the calls with.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
And rightfully, so you should. Now I've got to ask
this question. Has it ever occurred that, as you're asking
these questions, when you're getting this vibe because you're doing
it virtually, that they might not be a good fit.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Yes, yes, and what do you do?

Speaker 1 (11:42):
Then?

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Well, I kind of lean into that and ask a
few more questions, try and get a sense is this
is this real? You know, is it? What is it
that I'm feeling? And then you know, ask them how
they're feeling about it, and you usually it's a mutual thing,
it's not usually just me. And then I offer I'll

(12:07):
just tell them, you know, this doesn't feel I'm getting
the sense that this isn't really a great fit for
whatever reason. And you know, I'll tell them the reason
if it's you know, not one that's going to cause them,
you know, pain or difficulty. But sometimes it's just, you know,
I'm not getting the senses that will be a great match.
And you deserve to have the best efficient for your

(12:30):
wedding for you. And then I can offer other people's
names and other contacts. A lot of the time it
comes down to price for what they want to have
happened during their ceremony. You know, some people have some
really interesting thoughts around weddings and they don't match mine, okay,

(12:53):
okay on my values, and I think it's only fair
to them to let them know that.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Mm hmm, that's good. That's really really good. So right now,
what is your area that you specialize in in terms
of when you're doing your efficiant weddings? I think you
said where your location right now? What's your location?

Speaker 2 (13:16):
So for the most part, I serve in the Pacific Northwest,
which is the states of Washington, Oregon, and Idaho Okay,
so it's a big area. I do travel. I travel
all over the Pacific Northwest and I do custom elopement
and intimate wedding ceremonies. Again, I do weddings of all sizes,
but those are where I specialize, and I craft them

(13:38):
to be really meaningful, really personal for each couple, so
that they know that their wedding day is really special.
It's meaningful to them, it's meaningful to me, and their
ceremony is all about the two of them and they're
one of a kind. Love story, love. And most of
our weddings are most of the weddings I officiate are

(13:59):
out doors and might be in like the natural settings
of the Pacific Northwest, which I don't know if you've
had the chance. It's like the Bay area and it's
just so.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
Beautiful, like Tahoe.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like Taho with an ocean if
you just put it near to the ocean. That's what
the Pacific is like.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
My God, I love it. I love it. And if
you go on her website her website, you see some
of the most breathtaking photos. I gotta ask real quick.
The one that was in the snow, My god, how
did y'all stay warm? Does it in the snow? I'm like,
I'm looking for bears that's coming out and the I mean,
it's just so beautiful and I think they were in

(14:43):
like snow boots or something, the brockhead snow boots on.
So if it's really really, really really cold one degree outside,
I mean, how do you go? How do you how
do you work around the coldness?

Speaker 2 (14:54):
You dress warmly? I encourage I dress in the layers,
and I tell them, did you the same dress and layers,
and don't wear nice shoes, and won't let your wedding
you're having a wedding attendance, don't let them wear nice
fancy shoes. They were their hiking boots, they were in
their leggings underneath their dresses and wear wraps. If people

(15:18):
that couple came from Texas, and how may.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
We mentioned earlier before you do have a wedding that
you're doing for Valentine's Day on Friday? How fart advanced
did that couple book you out.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
This couple, funny enough, just booked me last week. They
called to see if I was available.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Wow, So there you have.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
And I just happened to be so wow.

Speaker 1 (15:42):
I love it. Mention in one of your podcasts, you
were mentioning that a lot of people they don't still
look at a fishians as official roles sometimes and they
will have a family member and then all of a sudden,
the family member is not available, and people like as
a makeup artist, a thirty somebody years that to a
people you need to have a budget, and you think, oh,

(16:04):
my friend is going to do my makeup. No no, no, no,
no no no. So the thing is, how do you
convey to people the importance just like having a wedding planner,
you should have a wedding plan, your hair, your makeup artists,
the floral, everyone, we all significantly play a major role
to this whole movie. So how do you convey that

(16:26):
to prospective people that you're talking on zoom that the
importance of why they should hire you or have an
efficiant for the wedding. Yeah, if they don't have a
pastor or someone, how do you let them know.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
About It's really first of all, I ask them how
they found me, why they're calling me, and then I
explained to them, you know what the role of an
officiat is, so that if they don't understand. Actually did
a blog post about this as well. You have to
in all but nine states in the United States, you
must have an efficiant. Yeah, you have to have someone

(17:01):
officiator ceremony, and not all states will allow you to
use a family member or a friend. A lot of
them will, but not all of them will. So you
must have someone in that official role. They're legally responsible
for signing off on your paperwork. Because while a wedding
is a beautiful day, it should be a lovely day.

(17:24):
It's also a marriage is a legal contract between two people.
It really is, and the officiant has a legal role
to play according to the state that they're in right
to make sure that the paperwork one is done correctly,
but two that neither party is being coerced into doing
something that they don't want to do because it is
considered a lifetime legal contract.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Have you ever had a situation to where they didn't
have the paperwork the day of the wedding or when
the time was required for you to sign the document.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yes, yes, And I've sent them back. I've said I'm
really really sorry if you don't have your paperwork, and
I literally I am reminding them when they can get
their paperwork. I'm reminding them two weeks ahead of time,
one week ahead of time, the day before they leave,
the morning of make sure you have your paperwork ready

(18:14):
to go. It's the one thing that makes you legally married.
Otherwise it's just a beautiful day.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
So the day of the wedding walk us through. The
riders has not walked down the aisle yet. She's in
the parlor, she's getting ready, the makeup artist is there,
her hair, the veil is on, and then we have
the woom. He's in the parlor. He's in his room
too at one point at that time. Because I believe
documents need to be exchanged on the actual day, right.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, it needs to be signed on the day. And
there's a few and there's like three ways that that
can happen, and that I'll tell you the three ways
that you can officially do it. And my favorite, So
a lot of times, most traditionally wedding planners and photographers
and other wedding professionals will tell couples, Well, you get married,

(19:04):
you go through the ceremony, and then you sign the paperwork. Afterwards,
we'll put you off in a nice still side room
and you just sign the paperwork. That's way number one
after the wedding. Number two, you can do it before
the wedding ceremony because a lot of the time, I mean,
let's be fair, most couples now are doing this first look.
But they're not not seeing each other before the ceremony anymore,

(19:24):
do you, you know, so you can do the paper
especially with elopements and small weddings, you can just do
the paperwork with the witnesses. Get it out of the
way and the benefit to that. So then I'll tell
you it's the third way is to do it during
the ceremony. And this is something that's actually really cool
and a requirement in Canada. So I live in Washington State.

(19:45):
We're right at the border with Canada. So I've done
a lot of weddings with Canadian couples. They come down
here and so their marriage is according to Washington law.
But they've all shared with me that you know, in
Canada they're required to have a registrant sign their paperwork
at the wedding ceremony, and I thought, well, that's a

(20:07):
cool idea, So I actually build it into their ceremony
as well, so they have the options after the ceremony,
before the ceremony, during the ceremony. But most couples, when
they walk down the aisle, they've been pronounced married, they're
walking out to you know, celebrate with their family. The

(20:27):
last thing they want to go do is come back
and sign the paperwork.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
But you know, I'm okay, but have this ever happened
to where they do it after but the husband didn't
bring it, or the wife didn't bring it, or the
riot of me or the maid of honor someone did
not have that document and left it on the kitchencounter,

(20:51):
or well, what would you do? What would happen in
that kind of Merit is done. You've officiated their marriage,
they said, I do. They kids, they're walking back now
they got to go back in to sign the document.
What would you do then?

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah, I don't let that happen. I get there an
hour ahead of time, and I take charge of that.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Paperwork okay, okay, and.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
I review it all. I make sure it's all filled incorrectly,
so that when you're signing it. They're just signing it.
It's already dated for them and everything. They just have
to sign their names and then it's official. I yeah,
if I get there and that marriage paperwork is not there,
they're not going through that ceremony because I can't sign
off on it.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
I hear you. Oh my goodness, this is great. It's
been a minute for me, nowiculous.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
That's why I'm like constantly reminding them and lots of
reminders ahead of time. I'm including text messages on the
day remembers.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
I mean, you know, especially if it's a drive, you know,
the one you're doing this weekend, three hours drive. What
if they forget the document they leave it on the counter.
You've already had the calls.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
You know.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
We forget things. We forget lipstick, we forget things, you know.
And I guess that's one that you don't.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
And I did have one. So I had one couple
once that I did. Their ceremony was a hiking wedding,
so we hiked. They had their paperwork with them that
they have received from the county, but on its two
sided paperwork, and when I flipped it over to make
sure the information on the back was correct. It was blank,

(22:20):
that they had received it from the government, county government blank.
And I said, there's information that's required here. So I'm
going to take this. I'm going to send it to
the county because the front part is the most important, right,
And I'm also going to have them resend you another
thing for the back so that we make sure that

(22:43):
this is correct. And we got it. It was fine,
I got it recorded. They but they part of my
job is to make sure that the paperwork is correct.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
Wow. That's now. Now at the end of it, is
it is it your responsibility filed the paperwork or yours
responsively just to sign it and then they file it.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
No, the court Well depends on the state, but in
the state of Washington, Oregon, in Idaho, the officiant is
required to do that. Wow.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
But they keep copies of their marriage because it's a
license they keep.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
Well, they get a marriage license, right, which comes to
the officiant. That's what says they are legally married, They're
legally able to get married. That's what I keep. Right.
There's a certificate of marriage that goes back to the
government of this county and they record it for the state.
That's what we all have to sign, and most counties

(23:36):
also provide a souvenir copy that they can keep and
on the day.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
Wow, this is man, it's been such a minute. So
so what has been? Oh god, so many different questions.
I want to ask you which one has been the
most mimorable? Memorable? I know they're all memorable, but which
which one really stands up? I mean, I'll never forget.
I did this one wedding and it was on a yacht.
It was so wonderful. They were on the app now

(24:03):
I was on the ya I was actually getting them
prepared to go on the yacht. So it was one
of my most mirrorable weddings that I did as a
makeup arts. Which one has been your most memorable?

Speaker 2 (24:16):
You know, it's so hard to choose. I think it
would have to be for different reasons, right. So I
did one at sunrise, like in the morning sunrise on
Mount Rainier, Okay, and they have it has it's sunrise
at sunrise. So there's a visitor center. There's a Paradise

(24:40):
visitor center and a Sunrise visitors center on Mount Rainier.
So we went to the Sunrise visitors Center at sunrise
and did uh ceremony with a couple from California and
their family as we're standing out there at the video
my website that you can watch, it was old.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
That's amazing. So on that note, which one has been
the most spectacular weddings that you've done? That is just
have you a memorable one, but just so spectacular, that's
just like you will remember it to the day you die.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
Golly, I have. It's it's so hard to do. I
need to choose. It's like choosing between your children.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
You know.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
I have stood on Mountain Baker. I have like stood
on the Pacific Ocean and assiciated ceremonies. I have one
couple that came out from Las Vegas. They got married
at Hug Point, which you have to go out at
low tide to do the ceremony and get off the
beach because the tide comes back in.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
I was gonna say, well, the Baker, you need to
do what a mount Killem and Gerald, you know, you
know what? You know, what a beautiful, adventurous career you
have right now? Would you have even thought in a
million years, what did you do before this? What did
you do before this?

Speaker 2 (26:12):
I worked in child welfare for nonprofit organizations say, day difference.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
Okay, would you ever thought that you would be doing
this and having so much joy and fun now?

Speaker 2 (26:23):
I couldn't have imagined that. It's truly a gift. It
is truly a gift for me to be able to
do this.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
And will you do this for how much longer? What's
your what's your goal?

Speaker 2 (26:34):
You know? However long God says it's time to do this.
If I guided to do something different, then I'll do
something different. But I love it. I love it so
much that I can't. Yeah, at ebbs and flows. It
changes over time. I have a podcast now, I do
coaching with couples. But I love it and.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
We're going to get to that. Admitute and another thing
that I love about what you do. You just hit
ebbs and flows. It continues to change. This is twenty
twenty five. And you know, the other thing before I
ask you this other question here is you're almost like
a project manager. There's never two weddings alike. You have
to describe two weddings alike. Each one is uniquely different. Yeah,

(27:18):
that makes your job fascinating. So on that note, how
do you help kuffle shifts from the mindset of just
planning a wedding and building a lifetime together. How do
you do how do you help couples shift in that.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
We talk about I mean I do everything through conversation, right,
and talk about celebration. So, you know, one of the
things I asked them about is why they are wanting
to get married. They don't have to get married. Our
world doesn't require that, is absolutely right.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
I asked that question too. Yeah, why are you Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
Yeah, you know we people like you said earlier, people
have children, they buy houses, you know, you do all
this stuff, and they don't get married. And I mean
people do. I have Most of my couples have been
together seven to ten years before they're getting married. I
have one couple that was together twenty nine years before
they got married. They wanted to get married.

Speaker 1 (28:12):
I mean that's a common law. They were married three times.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
Over Mike, right, right, right, So they do. I mean,
they are getting married. They're just well, I guess getting
their thought process is they just well, a lot of
the time they're wanting to make sure that it's going
to last, right, But sometimes it's just that life gets
in the way. Okay, they planned it and then life,

(28:38):
you know, things happened. But we had COVID, they've had
off or money needs, money, parents, you know, health issues.
Whatever life gets in the way, right, life gets in
a well, that's a very very very very good point.

Speaker 1 (28:53):
On that note, we're in a culture to where we
have different kinds of people getting married. Let's just go there.
Same sex marriages. Do you have a preference or are
you open to everyone when you are officiating marriage ceremonies.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah, well I will serve couples who are legally able
to get married.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
I The way I look at this is that you
are you, you have You may not be a member
of a faith community, and if you don't belong to
a church and have someone readily accessible, you need to
be able to have someone officiate for you. That's why

(29:43):
people like me and our businesses exist.

Speaker 1 (29:46):
I love it. I love it.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
Make sure that if you need someone that we're here.
So I work with couples I have a really good
match with and I have to match with them personally.
It is a person business.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
So that's one element, which is the main pillar element.
But what if someone is coming from a state where
it's not same sex marriages. Yeah, there may be a
state that that's not upheld, then how do you say
yes still to that or do that?

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Well, if they come to my state, they have.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
To come to your state, okay, and then you're able
to do that and to perform.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
Their Yeah, cause their their their wedding and the marriage
laws are based on the state where they get married.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
Or they get married. Okay, all right, see information, you know,
just the same as a makeup artist. I mean, I've
had same sex couples that come and most beautiful, and
it's just like, it's not my job to ask who
the groom is. It is my job to do that.
My job is to show up and to provide you
a service and make sure it's a match. Now when
I get there and your groom happens to be someone

(30:51):
else than great and Mary, I can't to make you
shine and look gorgeous. That's my job. You look too gorgeous.
So on that note, you also do coaching, So how
do you weave that in? Tell us a little bit
about your retreats before we land this playing here, because
you also said that you do offer that as well,

(31:12):
So tell tell us about those services.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
So the retreats are kind of they're two fold. So
I have I offer really two different types of retreats.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
The first one is for couples who are engaged and
they are wanting to kind of come together, relax, refresh, reconnect,
and it gives them an opportunity to plan their ceremony,
write their vows, and plan everything in a weekend in
a luxurious setting, and to do it in a way

(31:42):
that is non stressful. So I have them come and
meet with me to help them plan their ceremony, write
their vows. They can look if they don't have a
venue and they have enough time, they can look at
this particular place as a venue. But I also bring
in a wedding planner so that they can actually us
talk about what they'd like their whole event to be like,

(32:03):
even if it's not at this particular location. Okay, So
so that's really for engaged couples because I don't think
wedding planning should be stressful, and some couples just don't
have the time.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
Or the bandwidth.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
They're the bandwidth, right, and they don't realize because you
don't know what you don't know, you don't know how
much goes into it. They start thinking, oh, I can
do it, and you can any couple can plan a wedding,
it's just a lot. And if you're working and if
you have family to take care of and you have
other stuff going on, it's it's often so overwhelming. So

(32:41):
my thought was, let's bring them into Let's bring them
out of their normal every day. Let's bring them to
a beautiful place.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
So this is this what you call your VIP retreat.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
So that's that's really for them. And then while they're there,
they get to do fun stuff as well, like maybe
go horseback riding or hiking, or if it's in the winter,
they can go snowmobiling or you know, ice skating, whatever
it is, like golf in the spring. It's it allows
them some time to unwind, but it also allows them

(33:15):
time within a short span of time to plan a ceremony,
plan an event, and write their vows.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
That's really nice. That's very unique that you offer the
VIP luxury retreat so they could get away. They get
a chance, no you, they get a chance to look
at the venue. I think that's excellent. And then real
quickly she now tell me the difference between elopement twenty five.
You were talking about your elopement ceremony. What is the
difference between an elopement ceremony than your actual marriage ceremony?

(33:43):
What's the different?

Speaker 2 (33:43):
So, yeah, the ceremonies themselves are are different in that
with an elopement, it really is just focused on the couple. Okay,
there are usually only two maybe a really small number
of guests, very very small, but everything is focused on
you as a couple.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
So it's kind of sort of like when people go
to Vegas real quick, an elope, or they go there
Federal Building to get to get married. Yeah, a select
amount of people, but it's mainly the groom and the
bride and the jail, right.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
But when I write the ceremony, it's just all about
engaging the two of them. Or when you write, when
you when I craft a wedding ceremony, a ceremony with
with larger number of guests, and this is really from
you know, ten onwards. I want to engage the guests
in the ceremony and loving and supporting the couple. And
so when I when I write and when I speak

(34:40):
for a wedding ceremony, it's about celebrating the couple and
engaging their guests in that as well. When it's just
an elopement with the guests and their two witnesses. It
really is about only speaking with and to the two
of them.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
Got it, Got it?

Speaker 2 (34:55):
That makes sense? Yeah, in a ceremony, that's really all
the For instance.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Okay, okay, that's great.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
People think morelf you can have more people involved in
a bigger wedding ceremony.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
But I think sometimes people they don't realize if if
it's not a lot of people, or they're planning a
ceremony per se and it's just a few people, they
they call it as let's let's go get eloped. But yeah,
an elopement is just as I guess significant as a ceremony.
You just don't have that many people there. You don't

(35:30):
spend as much the venue is not as long.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
So but and I do I spend as much time, yeah,
crafting an elopement ceremony and officiating an elopement ceremony as
I do officiating in a wedding ceremony. The time frame
is the insane amount of time. The same amount of
time okay for the ceremony piece, not for the whole

(35:55):
of it.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Yeah, the ceremonies. Yeah, and then the other thing, what
makes a heart felt what makes a heart felt written thow?
How do you help someone or a couple to do that?

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Yeah, So I actually have them sit down and first
speak from gratitude. Okay, write down everything that they are
thankful for about this person. What has their life, what
was their life like before? And how has their life
changed since the two of them have come together? So

(36:31):
what are they grateful for? How has their life changed?
And you know, between now and moving forward into this
next version of who I'm going to become? What do
I want to do for you in our relationship?

Speaker 1 (36:46):
M I love it? And then I just asked them
that makes it so heart centered. It just really makes
them to go deep because I could imagine some of
you know, not everybody revowl. Sometimes they just do it
orthodox and they just they've verbade them say what you
tell them to say. There are a lot of couples
nowadays they're saying no, no, no, I want to I

(37:07):
want to add live and write write my own vows.
I think that's fascinating.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, And I don't let them have lived because it's
too stressful for most people. So I tell them write
them down and bring them with you, or write them
down and send them to me and I will bring
them for you. I just had a couple who got
married in the snow in January. If they came up
from Australia and they had sent me their vows ahead

(37:32):
of time. Because I provide my couples with a book
of their ceremony, so everything that's in their ceremony they
get a little book from me, And so if they
send me their vows, I can include their vows, you know,
if they've written them in that booklet. And when I
printed their book, I also printed out their vows on

(37:53):
just a nice piece of paper so that they could
actually you know, read them, because I assume that they
didn't have anything to bring with them.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
You know what you know would be a good idea
to Chanel if them printing those vowels, you also tell
them to read those vows when they have an argument
when they really want to throw the black skillet at
each other. Is like, not only look at the ring
that he bought you, but him heard them or they,
but let's also read the vowels and go back to

(38:25):
why you guys got married. So this can help you
to stay together well.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
And that's part of what you know we do as
far as the celebration piece goes. So at the celebration
coaching were couples who are already married. Because I've had
couples go through that, you know they've already gotten married.
It's so you know, there are moments and we all
have them where we're so stressed out and we want
to throw the frid pans right or you're just like, ah,
you make me so much, But there are so many

(38:51):
things that happen day to day. Life is hard, right,
So not only do I marry them and I officiate
for their ceremony, I mean I try to make sure
the thing is all lovely on that day for that
first year of marriage, which is hard. It's much different
than people think it's going to be. I follow up
with them on a regular basis. I check in and

(39:12):
remind them to celebrate the moments and see how they're doing,
what's going well? Where have the difficulties been?

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Can I how often do you that's great? See officiants
out here? I've never heard of an officiant that that
does that. So that's a part of your feet that
you charge. I'm sure. So are you following up with
them once a month, once a quarter, doing a check in.
Are they on your newsletter? Now they're going to be
in your pot listening to your podcast. We mean, how

(39:39):
do you do that check in? What's that timeframe of
the check in? That's amazing.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
So prior to their wedding, they're on my they get
my monthly newsletter and I check in with them about
planning their ceremony. After their wedding, I follow up with
them to make sure they got their marriage certificate, on
their month adversary, on their three months, six months, nine month,
twelve months. And then they get gifts from me just
following up on all of their anniversaries. When I know
they've had a baby, they get, you know, celebrate all

(40:06):
the milestones that matter.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
And I just so you keep them connected. It's like
when they come into your ecosystem, it's like you keep connected. See,
that's what insurance people should do. They don't do it
no more. I used to be an insurance agent. It's like,
what happened to the connection? I don't get the birthday
call no more? You know, I know, right? And it's
like I love what you just said because you are
building stellar customer service, and guess what's gonna happen then

(40:30):
they're gonna have a niece they get married, or their
kid is gonna get married. I mean I have done
like three three generations of weddings. Seriously, And when you
build a practice and a business like that and you
stay tied in with your client, that is so wonderful.
And now you have this podcast show, So tell us
as we end what made you come up with your podcast?

(40:52):
And it's amazing. Now you may kiss? How'd you come
up with that name for the podcast?

Speaker 2 (40:58):
So that is what I say. That is that is
what I say in every ceremony. Now as you've got
you guys that I've pronounced them married, I stepped to
the left, out of the way of the photographer, and
I say, now you make it because couples don't want
to hear you may kiss your bride.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
Yeah, I love it. I love it. Now oh say that?
So now? Yes, now you may kiss. You know I'm
like lying anyone. Now you may kiss? Oh that is
did you trade mark it? Did you trade mark?

Speaker 2 (41:33):
I have trademarked it.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Okay, good, okay, make sure you trademarked it.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
Get you some good I have water bottle on the hat.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
Okay, get you some hats and water bottles and stuff.
So what do we have as we end share with
the listeners. What's coming up on some of your pod
next podcasts? And how do people currently find you? Couples
find you? Please share that.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
Okay, so coming up on my podcast, I have got
all kinds of really interesting things. I have other wedding
professionals coming up. I have, I have some other venues.
I have a woman who actually is helping people fund
their houses through you know, couples that are getting married,

(42:20):
So that'll be fun. I have just different topics that
I want to talk about. You know, I've talked a
little bit about elopements. I want to talk about bigger ceremonies.
I want to talk about some of the unity rituals
and their background and why people might include different elements
in their ceremony because they don't always know. And that's
really how I started this, Because people don't know what

(42:41):
they don't know about weddings, that's true. And you don't
know what you don't know about officiating a wedding ceremony,
so and.

Speaker 1 (42:47):
You could make it very creative. The sky is the limit.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
That's the sky is the limit. So that's so those
are some of the things that are going to be there.
So you can find my podcast now you make Kiss
on Spotify. It's on different platforms as well, but that's
the main one. People can find me on my website
Chanelcarlan dot com. Okay, they can find you on Instagram, Pinterest,
you know all the social media outlets. I'm I'm there

(43:12):
in some form or another.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
And what special offerings do you have for us that
you would like to share with the audience today.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
So I have for couples who are thinking about getting married,
who are already planning to get married, I'm offering the
VIP Luxury Retreat weekend and that is super, super fun.
I have a venue up here in the Pacific Northwest
which is spectacular and it just is a really great escape.

(43:45):
So that's one. But for couples who are in other places,
I will take my retreat to them as well. So
there you have it, California, because you.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Have it, because I'm in northern California. There you go
shoot their way out and she would come out and
do your wedding. It has been just gang busters, just crazy.
This is beautiful. You have one of the most beautiful businesses.
You bring just love and light and center and passion
to couples. You know, they're coming to you because they

(44:18):
want to start their lives together now real quickly. What
happens after five or ten years and they want to
re up their vowels? Do you do that?

Speaker 2 (44:30):
Okay, we have vow renewal ceremony.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
Yeah, what do you call that? Specific?

Speaker 2 (44:33):
Yeah, it's a vowel renewal, And it's a celebration. It's
a celebration of love and marriage. And and I do this.
I go through the same process that I do for
a couple who's already is just getting married for the
first time because life has changed over ten years, you know,
or five years. And if they still have their vowels

(44:54):
that they wrote and they shared the first time, and
I do have couples who keep them, then we you know,
they can renew with those vowels, or we take those
vowels and we do it crafted a new ceremony based
on that. Yeah, it's a vow renewal ceremony. And they're beautiful.
I had a couple come out to for on the
Coast and stoot in front of Haystack Rock at twenty

(45:15):
five years and they're vow renewal.

Speaker 1 (45:18):
I think couples need to vow renew every year. I
think you get married in this disputation age. Every year,
you guys need to do anew I would love it.
It don't have to be so fancy, but I mean,
I think that would be great. And one of my
what of my clients actually does that, but they do

(45:38):
it on a small scale. They have something and they'll
ask each other do you still want to remain married?
And and it it allows them to reassess and to
help them to put together or to continue their you know,
objectives and their goals and help them to move forth.
I think it's fabulous.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
Whatever works, what's good? What do we need to fix it? Should?

Speaker 1 (45:58):
It has been a pleasure? Are there any last words
that you will like to share before we end the podcast?

Speaker 2 (46:05):
I think, Kim, I'm delighted to be here and I'm
honored so thank you so much. I think the biggest
thing that I want people to remember is that the
wedding is one day. It is the start of a
lifetime of marriage, and that's the piece that's really you know,
I want to celebrate your life with you and for you,

(46:25):
so it's not just about the wedding. The wedding day
is important and it is a special, meaningful day. I
do believe that couples should get married and really honor
that and honor that tradition, but I also want them
to remember it's one day.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
I'm so glad that it is just talking about a
lifetime of marriage and love and it is one day.
It is one day, but it's a one day beginning
of a life long journey. And I think is what
people ten. This is what you need to bring into
this amazing time. So Carlan Chanelle Carland, her company is

(47:10):
now You May Kiss Season podcast. Oh that's the name
of her podcast, and please get in contact with her
if you need an offician. I'm gonna leave all her
information in the podcast notes. And it has been a pleasure.
I thank you for the time. I love to always
to end with my clients and everyone. Thank you so

(47:32):
much for listening. May the words of this podcast go
out as far as the north, as far as the south,
as far as the west, as far as the east,
and may you all continue those that are getting married
stay married forever, it ever, it ever you know, and
God bless you. May you take some tips here and
may you be motivated and transformed, and please share this

(47:56):
podcast out and please go and listen to news podcast
as well. Now you may yes, thank you very much
for watching and we look so forward to you guys
for the next podcast. Thank you very much,

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