October 22, 2025 • 39 mins
Can childhood trauma become a catalyst for transformation? In this deeply moving episode, Merry and Cathy sit down with Wendy B. Correa, author of My Pretty Baby, to explore the powerful connection between adversity and awakening. Wendy opens up about her journey through the stormy seas of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) — revealing an ACE score of seven out of ten — and how she turned her pain into purpose.
Through honest reflection and hard-won wisdom, Wendy shares how meditation, sobriety, and spirituality became her anchors, helping her reclaim a life of peace and meaning. She also reflects on the impact of intergenerational trauma and how encounters with cultural icons like Joni Mitchell, Ringo Starr and Hunter S. Thompson influenced her healing path.
This episode is a raw yet uplifting exploration of resilience, self-worth, and the courage to rewrite your story — no matter where it begins.
More About Wendy
Wendy B. Correa is a writer, yogi, hiker, as well as a licensed massage therapist. She has worked in the film, television, multimedia, and music industries in Los Angeles and later as a radio DJ in Aspen, Colorado. She holds bachelor’s degrees in psychology and theater arts and has contributed articles to Mothering magazine.
A wife and mother, she resides in Denver, Colorado, and loves traveling to magical destinations with her family. My Pretty Baby is her debut book. For more information, visit www.wendybcorrea.com
Connect with Wendy
Website: https://www.wendybcorrea.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendy.correa.946
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendybcorrea/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Wendy B. Correa (00:01):
This is the EWN Podcast Network.
Cathy Worthington (00:14):
Welcome to late boomers, our podcast guide
to creating your third act withstyle, power, and impact. Hi.
I'm Kathy Worthington.
Merry Elkins (00:24):
And I'm Merry Elkins. Join us as we bring you
conversations with successfulentrepreneurs, entertainers, and
people with vision who aremaking a difference in the
world.
Cathy Worthington (00:34):
Everyone has a story, and we'll take you
along for the ride on eachinterview, recounting the
journey our guests have taken toget where they are, inspiring
you to create your own path tosuccess. Let's get started. Hi.
Welcome back to late boomers.I'm Kathy Worthington.
Merry Elkins (00:56):
And I'm Mary Elkins. Thanks for joining us
today. We've got a reallyimportant conversation lined up
for you, and it's one thattouches on resilience and
healing and the lasting effectof childhood experiences.
Cathy Worthington (01:11):
Yes. Our guest today is Wendy Correa,
author of My Pretty Baby. Herstory dives into something
called ACE, adverse childhoodexperiences, and how those
experiences could shape the restof our lives, both the struggles
and the triumphs.
Merry Elkins (01:27):
Yeah. That's really true. And ACE, a c e, is
a term that comes out of decadesof research showing that early
trauma, things like neglect orabuse, or household dysfunction,
which I think a lot of peopleexperience, can ripple through a
person's health andrelationships later in life.
But, you know, what's soinspiring about Wendy and her
(01:48):
her experiences is not just thatshe faced all these challenges,
but that she found ways to riseabove them and to heal and share
her journeys with others.
Cathy Worthington (02:00):
And Wendy doesn't shy away from telling
her truth. In her book, shetakes us through some very
personal chapters, and she pairsthem with hope. It's about
honesty, but also abouttransformation.
Merry Elkins (02:12):
Yes. And we can all benefit from that. And we'll
be talking with her about whatit was like to walk through
those darker times. And also,there's a copy of her book for
those of you on YouTube. Andit's Mhmm.
That's a picture of you, Wendy.Right? It is. And so we also
wanna talk about how youdiscovered sobriety, and what
(02:34):
helped you make that turningpoint, and how celebrity
encounters along the way shapedyour perspective on life.
Cathy Worthington (02:41):
I think listeners will connect not just
with the story of survivingadversity, but also with the
idea that reinvention ispossible at any stage.
Merry Elkins (02:51):
Absolutely. And it's it's almost always called
for anyway. So whether you facedyour own ACEs, or you're just
curious about how peopleovercome tough beginnings, this
conversation will resonate.
Cathy Worthington (03:06):
So let's bring her on, settle in with a
coffee or a wine, and we're sopleased to welcome Wendy Correa
to late boomers.
Merry Elkins (03:13):
Absolutely. Wendy Thank you.
Wendy B. Correa (03:15):
Thank you so much. It's wonderful to be here
with both of you.
Merry Elkins (03:19):
And it's great to have you.
Cathy Worthington (03:21):
Yeah. Where are you coming in from today?
Where do you
Wendy B. Correa (03:24):
live? Denver, Colorado.
Merry Elkins (03:26):
Oh, wonderful. One of my favorite states. I love
Colorado.
Cathy Worthington (03:30):
And, Wendy, for our listeners who may not be
familiar with the term ACE, canyou explain? Do you call it ACE
or do you call it ACE? ACE. ACE.ACE.
So can you explain what it meansmore in detail and why it's such
a powerful framework forunderstanding childhood trauma?
Wendy B. Correa (03:48):
Yes. And let me just begin by telling you and
the listeners what my prettybaby is about. I always like to
say that my pretty baby is anautopsy of my family. Oh. I
peeled apart the layers ofintergenerational and childhood
trauma, family dysfunction,family secrets and addiction,
(04:13):
and I eventually found healingthrough Buddhism, meditation,
yoga, sobriety, music,psychotherapy, and Native
American spirituality.
Along the way, I had incredibleaccount encounters with icons
like Joni Mitchell and RingoStarr and Hunter s Thompson. And
(04:40):
my pretty baby is aboutresilience, recovery, and
creating your own chosen familywhen the one you had is broken.
So we can jump right into whatthe ACE study and why it is
important. The adverse childhoodexperiences study found that two
(05:04):
thirds of adults had at leastone out of ten ACEs on a quiz
that you can take online. It'sjust a one to 10 quiz that you
can easily find online.
And so two thirds of adults haveat least one, and one in six
adults has four or more. And sothe trauma that you carry from
(05:31):
childhood and adolescence canincrease your risk for addiction
and mental illness and manyphysiological illnesses such as
heart disease and irritablebowel. The reason that I wanted
to write this book is becausethis is my call to action, that
(05:54):
we need to have theseconversations that you are
giving me the opportunity righthere and now to talk about
because trauma is a publichealth issue.
Merry Elkins (06:05):
You know, it really really is. And talk a
little bit more about the actualprocess you went through with
all of the healing that you diddo.
Wendy B. Correa (06:17):
Absolutely. And I just so I just wanna touch
back that in one of the booksthat I've read because while I
was writing my book, I readnumerous books by Gabor Mate and
Bessel van der Kolk and PeterLevine and Nadine Burke. And in
Nadine Burke's book, The DeepestWell, she found that if a child
(06:41):
had a score of six or more ACEs,their life expectancy can
decrease by twenty years. And Ihave an ACE score of seven out
of 10. But the good news is thatresearch is proving that the
damage can be reversed with theexact modalities that I
(07:06):
intuitively have practiced forthe last forty five years.
So when I left home at 17 andleft Illinois for California,
there was an intuition thatguided me. I was immediately
drawn to Buddhism and meditationand nature, hiking, and
(07:27):
eventually I found my way in LosAngeles. I worked in the music
industry, and music was one ofmy biggest outlets as a kid
growing up because it was free.It was on the radio. I listened
to WLS in Chicago.
Yeah. And music was my respite.Music really saved me. So
(07:48):
eventually, I found my way intothe music industry because I
thought music was one of thehighest forms of human
expression, and I wanted to be apart of that because I knew it
was so powerful. And at the sametime in Los Angeles, I also was
involved with a community thatpracticed Native American
(08:10):
spirituality.
And for many years, I practicedthat spirituality. And I also
got sober and started attendingAA meetings in Los Angeles that
were mostly for people in themusic industry and and
musicians. I also was getting mymaster's degree in clinical
(08:34):
psychology at AntiochUniversity. And as a student of
Antioch, you needed to also gothrough psychotherapy yourself,
which was, hello, very importantfor me. And that opened a lot of
windows for me of reclaimingmyself and reclaiming my story
(08:58):
and understanding how traumaworked.
And then I also in writing,there's a lot of research to
show. Pennebaker JamesPennebaker is one of the leading
researchers of using writing ascatharsis, using writing for
healing. So I did a lot ofjournaling and writing. And that
(09:23):
was also at one point when I wasstudying acting, I started
practicing yoga. And then Istarted to learn how the somatic
practices were also veryimportant to go along with the
psychotherapy.
So doing yoga, dance, movement,walking, hiking, singing, and
(09:47):
meditating are all somaticpractices or Oh, good to know.
Yeah. Grounded Yeah. I haven'theard that term so much. Yes.
Cathy Worthington (09:56):
Yeah. That's great. You've had some
fascinating encounters withcelebrities along the way. We
know. But how did theseexperiences impact you, and did
they shape the way you sawyourself during difficult times?
Wendy B. Correa (10:11):
Yes. And the reason that I wrote about them
is because these celebrities andwere so kind to me, and they
reflected back to me my own selfworth. Can you
Cathy Worthington (10:27):
tell us a little bit about one of the
encounters or two of theencounters?
Wendy B. Correa (10:33):
Absolutely. So the first was I was I was living
and working in Los Angeles, andI had a friend, Boyd Elder, who
has now passed. He's an artist,and he he designs many album
covers. And one day, he came toa restaurant where I was
(10:54):
working, and he he'd taken me toa lot of his friends' homes. So
I knew he knew a lot of people,and I always enjoyed going with
him to meet famous people.
But one day, he came to pick meup, and he said, I I wanna
introduce you to a friend ofmine. Well, mind you, I was
working at a restaurant inMalibu called the Jetty where we
served barbecue, and there was,you know, sawdust on the floor.
(11:18):
And I wore a white bowling shirtand jeans and high tops. And,
you know, my shirt is my whiteshirt is covered in barbecue
sauce. And, you know, I'm like,okay, Boyd.
You know, whatever. So westarted driving up Pacific Coast
Highway. But when we pulled intothe Malibu colony, then I was
like, wait a minute, Boyd. Whereare we going? Who am I meeting?
(11:41):
And, oh my gosh, do I have anymakeup on? I mean, I've been
sweating and working all day,and I have barbecue sauce on me.
And he as we're walking to thedoor, he says, she doesn't care
what you look like. And I'mlike, Boyd, who is she? Who is
she?
And he rings the bell, and here,Joni Mitchell opens the door.
Merry Elkins (12:01):
Wow. An experience.
Wendy B. Correa (12:04):
And I I was fortunate enough to have many
times that I spent with JodiMitchell. And she always treated
me like a sister. She we talkedabout, you know, silly things
about hairstyles and, you know,if we were ever gonna be able to
quit smoking. And on all ofthose occasions, she was just so
(12:29):
kind and thoughtful and generoustowards me. And I sat there
thinking, why is Joni Mitchellbeing so kind and and loving
towards me?
I'm no one. I'm no I'm notfamous. I you know, I'm I'm
nobody.
Cathy Worthington (12:44):
So did you have a little bit impostor
syndrome where you Oh, absolute.Of course. Unworthy of
Wendy B. Correa (12:50):
Well, I always felt because of my family
situation, I felt unlovable waswhat the the issue was for me.
And so Joni was one of thepeople like, well, wait a
minute. If Joni Mitchell is kindand loving to me, why isn't my
own family? And, you know, fbomb them. Because if Dodie
(13:16):
Mitchell likes me, who cares?
You know? She Right. She reallyreflected back to me some self
worth. And so that experienceand, you know, all of the other
times that I spent with her, Iit fed me. It fed me my my self
worth and my self esteem thatmaybe I actually was lovable.
Cathy Worthington (13:43):
And what about Ringo? I met him a couple
Merry Elkins (13:45):
times. About to ask that.
Cathy Worthington (13:47):
I've met him a couple of times. He's
delightful. I just wonder whatthat
Merry Elkins (13:50):
named her her her dog Ringo.
Cathy Worthington (13:53):
Oh, yeah. Because and I gave him it was a
rescue dog, so I gave him RingoStarr's birthday too.
Wendy B. Correa (13:58):
Oh, that's adorable.
Cathy Worthington (14:00):
That's amazing. He's a he's a wonderful
guy.
Wendy B. Correa (14:04):
He is a wonderful guy, and I wish I had
been able to spend as much timewith Ringo too as I I spent with
Joni. But Ringo, I met becausewe're sort of jumping ahead, but
that's fine too. I got I gotarrested for a DUI. I was in the
music industry, and I was givencourt ordered AA meetings. And
(14:29):
so the very first meeting that Iwalked into in West LA, I was
shaking in my boots.
I had no idea what to expect.And here walks up to me, this
gentleman who I know very wellwho he is, but he reaches out to
shake my hand and greet me. Andhe said, hello. My name is
(14:54):
Richard. And, of course, I waslike, well, your name might be
Richard, but it's
Cathy Worthington (15:00):
also It is.
Wendy B. Correa (15:03):
His lovely wife, Barbara Bach, was behind
him,
Cathy Worthington (15:06):
and she
Wendy B. Correa (15:06):
also shook my hand. And I sat there in my
first AA meeting thinking, oh mygod. If Ringo Starr can get
sober with everything thatsurrounds him, then I can too.
And if he's this dedicatededicated and committed to show
(15:27):
up to AA meetings to to greetnewbies, then I can do that too.
Oh.
So, you know, that was Yeah.
Cathy Worthington (15:36):
He wrote a song about it.
Wendy B. Correa (15:37):
That was my first AA meeting. And, of
course, I'm not outing anyonesobriety because it's very well
known that that Ringo andBarbara are, you know, decades
long Very long. Sober. But thepoint of telling that story to
my readers is that you neverknow what the kindness of one
(15:59):
person, how it might affect you.Not everybody that you meet is
gonna be, you know, the thecelebrity.
And I'm not you know, I happento live in Los Angeles, and I
worked in the music industry.And so I I really only went at
the time. I'm thirty eight yearssober, so this is a long time
ago.
Cathy Worthington (16:18):
Wow.
Wendy B. Correa (16:18):
But I I went only to AA meetings that were
specifically for people in themusic industry. So it was, you
know.
Cathy Worthington (16:28):
Yeah. It's good to network
Wendy B. Correa (16:30):
that way. Right. And so, you know, not
everyone I want everybody to goto AA meetings that, you know,
that if they need to, but don'tassume that a celebrity is gonna
come up and greet
Merry Elkins (16:42):
you. Right. Well, what about Hunter Thompson?
Because he's a wild guy or was.
Wendy B. Correa (16:48):
Yes. So I was sober, and I left Los Angeles
for Aspen, Colorado to be a DJon KSPN FM. And my program
manager told me he's like, doyou know who Hunter S. Thompson
is? And I was like, I think he'syou know, I've read some of his
(17:13):
articles in Rolling Stonemagazine, and isn't he in the
Dunesbury cartoons?
And he's like, yeah. But okay.Well, you're probably gonna get
calls from him in the middle ofthe night because as the newbie
DJ, my shift was 2AM to 6AM. Sosure enough Oh, yeah. Four in
(17:34):
the morning, I get a call, and,you know, the phone rings, and
I'm like, it's Wendy Moorerocking you on KSPN FM.
Good morning. And he and Huntersays, oh, yeah. Good morning.
Can you play me some WarrenZevon? Lawyers, guns, and money.
(17:54):
And I obviously knew who it was.So I said, hey. Good morning,
Hunter. Sure. I can play youWarren Zivon.
So I don't know how much timepassed, but, you know, pretty
much every night he would callme and ask me to play Warren
Sivan or some other song. And,you know, living in Aspen at the
(18:19):
time, I had to work, like, 10jobs. So I was also waitressing
again. And here comes Hunter andsits in in at my table and in my
station. And so I went up to, ofcourse, get his order from
lunch, but then I introducedmyself to say, hey, Hunter.
(18:42):
Not only am I your waitresstoday, but I'm also your DJ. And
he's like, oh, yeah. I reallylike you. And by the end of his
lunch, he said, you know, I needa I need a an assistant. You you
want the job?
And I was like, yeah. I want thejob. Of course, I want the job.
(19:05):
As a fledgling writer at thetime, I was like, I wanna be,
you know, around Hunter sThompson. And so I worked for
Hunter for a while and have somewild stories about Hunter, but
it was mostly what was so again,the reason that I tell the
story, I was completely sober.
I didn't smoke. I didn't drink.I didn't like guns. I didn't
(19:28):
know anything about politics orsports, and those were all
things that Hunter did. So Iwas, you know, working with him,
you know, filing papers andwhatever, answering the phone,
and sifting through boxes in hisbasement.
But he he knew that I didn'tdrink. He knew I didn't smoke
(19:48):
while he was sitting there doingeverything, you know, in in
front of me. And the only thinghe ever offered me was, hey, you
wanna go out and blow somethingup? Because he's notorious for
blowing things up and and Oh. Iguess have you you guys know who
(20:09):
Hunter S.
Thompson is? Yeah. Yeah.
Cathy Worthington (20:10):
I didn't. I didn't, but I know Doonesbury,
not George Gary Trudeau.
Wendy B. Correa (20:15):
Well, so you do know fear and loathing in Las
Vegas. Right. Right.
Merry Elkins (20:22):
Yeah. Ish. Okay.
Wendy B. Correa (20:24):
So you you could Ish. You could watch the
documentary about Hunter. HeOkay. Was a bigger than life
character. And even with all ofthat, with the guns and the
drugs, again, the reason that Iwrote about Hunter is because he
was so kind and generous withme.
(20:46):
And he reflected back to me myself worth. He made me feel like
a whole person. And I loved himfor that. And when I left to
move to Chicago because on theradio, I also met my future
(21:07):
husband. He and Oh, I good.
Left Aspen, and we moved toChicago. But when I left, I
always was like, I'll see youagain, Hunter. And I'm very sad
that I'll never see Hunter againbecause, as you know, he he
committed suicide.
Merry Elkins (21:26):
Yeah. So okay. Changing this that subject to
what was the turning point foryou for that led you to your
sobriety? Was there a singlemoment or a series of
realizations?
Wendy B. Correa (21:43):
Well, when I left home at 17 and moved to
California and put myselfthrough college and then
transferred to Humboldt State, Iwas searching. I was searching
for healing. I was searching forwholesomeness. I was searching
for my tribe. I was searchingfor where I belonged.
(22:04):
I was searching for spiritualityand to find meaning in life, and
that's when I found the Buddhismand hiking. And I started to
heal myself, but then, like Isaid, I moved to Los Angeles and
worked in the music industry.And what, you know, I would feel
(22:25):
good about myself, and then Iwould, you know, be using
alcohol and cocaine and drugsand to numb the pain. And it was
getting arrested. I was partyingon Sunset Strip at Sushi on
Sunset with a band and, youknow, drove home towards Venice
(22:51):
Beach where I lived, and I gotpulled over.
And I just hoped that the policethought with my fishnet black
stockings and my short litterlittle, you know, leather
miniskirt and my rabbit furjacket that the police thought I
looked, you know, like like TinaTurner cool rock and roll and
(23:15):
not as a hooker. So but I wasthrown in jail. And like I said,
I had I couldn't drive except towork, to the grocery store, and
to AA meetings for a year. And Ihad court ordered AA meetings.
And so the huge turning pointwas was that.
(23:36):
The arrest. The arrest and thenwalking into an AA meeting and
seeing the likes of Ringo Starrthat I'm not alone. And there
were many celebrities in the AAmeetings that I sat in. Yeah.
That time a lot of people wereneeding to get sober, and so I I
was not alone.
(23:57):
And so that was was great. Ahuge turning point for me. And
then I was sober for five yearswhen I decided I really needed
to let go of the nicotine aswell. And so finally, five years
later, I was able to get cleanfrom nicotine.
Cathy Worthington (24:16):
That's great. And writing a book like this
takes a lot of courage. So howdid the act of writing help you
heal?
Wendy B. Correa (24:26):
Well, what's interesting at when I first went
to Los Angeles, I was studyingacting. And in my acting class,
it was the Stanislavski methodof acting. And we did an
exercise called sense memory.Yes. Where we sit in a chair,
and this is back in the day ofprimal screaming.
(24:48):
So to warm up, there was amattress on the floor, and we
would flail and do these likevery guttural vocalizations and
then sit in front of the theclass. And I was to relay a
childhood memory in front of myclass and using all of the
(25:09):
senses. So you're using sight,sound, touch, hearing. And I
started describing my fatherdied when I was seven, and I was
describing a scene when I wasabout four with my father. And I
was following him around thebackyard, and he was tending to
his strawberry patch.
(25:30):
And he chose the biggest,juiciest strawberry out of the
patch and wiped off the dirt andpopped it into my mouth. And so
I was describing the succulent,you know, juices and the taste
of the strawberry, and thenthere was this beautiful lattice
braided archway that was justheavy with honeysuckle. And so
(25:52):
I'm describing the sense ofsmell, which it turns out the
sense of smell is the strongestsense that we have and is
directly connected to a lot ofchildhood memories because that
is when we're first reallygrowing and developing these
senses. And I thought this was abeautiful happy memory, and
(26:16):
that's why I chose it. I'm gonnachoose this happy memory of my
dad.
But as I'm going through thisexercise, my teacher who was a
famous acting teacher in LA, Iused to love just to say his
name, Pierino Mascarino. Hewould say to me, Wendy, speak to
him. Speak to your father. And Icouldn't. There were these
(26:40):
emotions just roiling in my bodythat didn't that were not
familiar to me, that were notconnected to this happy little
memory that I was trying to comeup with.
And, eventually, I sputteredout, I'm mad at you. And I was
shocked because I had no ideathat I was mad at my father who
(27:01):
died when I was seven. And Ilearned this how powerful using
the senses are in evokingmemories. And so for an actor,
that those using sense memoryhelps you to develop a more
authentic and three-dimensionalcharacter. But when I started
(27:25):
writing my pretty baby in 2015and I started taking a lot of
writing classes, and I createdwhat I call my own MFA program
because I took lots of classesand I read dozens and dozens of
memoir and craft books, and Idrew upon that sense memory
(27:49):
exercise from decades ago torecreate the scenes that I
wanted to write.
And I of course I I put aroundme my photos and journals and
letters and emails, but alsoInternet research. And I used my
senses to recreate what I wantedto write about. So in the
(28:15):
opening scene, it's 1964, andI'm in a voting booth. I'm four
years old. I'm in a voting boothwith my mother.
She's voting for JFK, and I cansmell her Estee Lauder Youth Du
Perfume.
Merry Elkins (28:32):
Oh, wow.
Wendy B. Correa (28:32):
And that evokes those memories so vividly. And
so to really get to the point ofyour question, Kathy, I because
though since memory is sopowerful, there were certainly
times in writing my book thatresulted in heaving sobs of, you
(28:55):
know, sadness and grief and sortof reliving it in real time.
Cathy Worthington (29:03):
Yeah. Then it actually gets it all out of your
body. Right?
Wendy B. Correa (29:06):
But also I was in therapy. And so with the
therapist's help, I had numerouspractices for not just getting
it out, but really processingit. So one of the techniques
that is considered one of thebest for trauma for PTSD or
complex PTSD, which is what Ihave, is called EMDR.
Merry Elkins (29:30):
Oh, with the eyes.
Wendy B. Correa (29:31):
Eye movement desensitization. Yeah.
Merry Elkins (29:35):
It's tough tough. So that actually, you're
answering the question I've hadon my mind as to the tools and
practices that you've learned tokeep moving forward, and it
sounds like you're still usingsense memory. Tell us a little
more about the EMD when oldwounds resurface.
Wendy B. Correa (29:56):
Yes. So as I was writing my book, I was
working with this therapist andusing EMDR to relay to her these
memories. So EMDR helps you tobasically process it's called
bilateral stimulation of thebrain. It just helps to take the
(30:20):
zing and the retraumatizationout of remembering those events.
So, of course, you stillremember the events, but it
takes that emotional zing out ofit, and it helps the brain to
process to process thosememories.
And the other tool that she usedwas something called IMTT, image
(30:42):
transformation therapy, which isusing breath work and
visualization also to gentlyrelease those memories. So
luckily for me, while I waswriting the book, I was also you
know, I have been I have been intherapy for on and off for many
(31:03):
years. But during the process ofwriting my book, it was really
important to have that supportand to be able to go through the
process as I was writing and toprocess it really fully. I've
also done inner child work. I'vedone a lot of work to heal
(31:24):
myself and to process thetrauma.
Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Merry Elkins (31:31):
Well, you've shown such strength in turning pain
into something that can inspireothers. What do you hope readers
take away from My Pretty Baby?And I'm I'm I know they'll take
a lot away a lot away from thispodcast.
Wendy B. Correa (31:51):
I hope that my readers will take away that
although trauma is universal, sois healing. And telling the
truth about what happened isn'tabout blame or retribution. It's
about breaking cycles andhealing. And especially if you
(32:12):
have children, I feel like oneof the greatest gifts that you
can give your children is to bea cycle breaker yourself and to
know that healing is not onlypossible, but it's contagious in
the best sense of the word.Because when you are healed,
then you can bring others up,and you can be a beacon of light
(32:36):
to other people.
So I really hope that my prettybaby is that beacon of light
maybe for someone else who'sstruggling about,
Merry Elkins (32:45):
you
Wendy B. Correa (32:45):
know, wondering how to begin, where to begin
their own healing process.
Cathy Worthington (32:51):
Well, there's certainly a lot of suggestions
in your story by itself. You'vetried every modality and people
can look to that and follow yourRight. Your plan. That's pretty
good start. And, Wendy, lookingahead, what's next for you?
More writing or speaking or somenew projects?
Wendy B. Correa (33:14):
Well, right now, I am just so excited. My
pretty baby actually launches,you know, a month from now, and
my book launch will be in Denverat my my beloved bookstore
Tattered Cover. And then thenext day, I fly to Los Angeles,
and I'll be at Diesel abookstore.
Cathy Worthington (33:37):
Oh, we live in Los Angeles.
Merry Elkins (33:38):
No. Yes. We'll come. We'll come. Well, there it
is.
Let us know.
Cathy Worthington (33:42):
But we gotta know that I'm
Wendy B. Correa (33:44):
gonna let you know right now. It's November 9.
It's a Sunday at 3PM, and it'sgoing to be moderated by the
remarkable Renee Montaigne fromNPR. Oh. Mhmm.
Yes. And I will
Cathy Worthington (34:01):
At be Diesel. That's in Santa Monica. Right?
Wendy B. Correa (34:04):
Yes. Santa Monica. At the Brentwood Country
Mart. Right.
Cathy Worthington (34:08):
Yeah.
Wendy B. Correa (34:09):
That is November 9 at 3PM. And Renee
Montane and then my one of mySheWritesPress is my publisher.
One of my SheWritesPresssisters, Jacqueline Jackson, is
also going to be there with mewith her book. And then I will
also be in the San Francisco BayArea in Corte Madera at Book of
(34:32):
Passage on December 6. And thatwill be a panel with my
publisher Brooke Warnermoderating.
And then I'll be in Aspen,Colorado at Explore Books. And
I'll be at the Barnes and Noblein Colorado Boulevard in Denver
on December 15.
Cathy Worthington (34:52):
You've got quite a
Wendy B. Correa (34:53):
tour.
Merry Elkins (34:53):
You really do. And and the best time of year to be
in Aspen, will say.
Wendy B. Correa (34:58):
Oh, yes. It's gonna be a lot of fun.
Cathy Worthington (35:01):
It's gonna be amazing. Yeah. And I'm just
gonna go out on a limb here,Mary, and suggest that if anyone
comes up to us at the Dieselbooks, they could see us on
YouTube right now. If you'relistening on audio, check us
out. Right.
You can recognize us. Anybodycomes up and says they heard
this podcast, they're gonna geta prize.
Wendy B. Correa (35:20):
Oh, wow.
Merry Elkins (35:21):
But once you idea.
Wendy B. Correa (35:22):
Once you send me the links, once you send me
the clips, we're gonna put mypublicist will be putting this
out there, and I'll be puttingit out there. And we're I would
just like to know that someoneheard it, showed up at a book
signing. That's an amazing thingin itself.
Merry Elkins (35:39):
Absolutely. And we better find out what kind of
pies to get.
Cathy Worthington (35:44):
Oh, no. Prize.
Merry Elkins (35:46):
Oh, well, prize. Why not a pie?
Cathy Worthington (35:48):
A prize. Not pies. I thought she she thought
you were We're not giving awaypies except maybe in the face.
Merry Elkins (35:55):
I when when I thought she said pie, I thought,
oh, what kind of prize?
Cathy Worthington (35:59):
So cute. They're gonna get a prize. We
will discuss that and figure itout, Mary.
Merry Elkins (36:05):
We'll figure it out.
Cathy Worthington (36:06):
We don't know what the prize is yet.
Merry Elkins (36:08):
Might be a cookie. Well, by all
Cathy Worthington (36:10):
means a good prize.
Wendy B. Correa (36:12):
Bring some swag. Bring some swag.
Cathy Worthington (36:15):
Yeah.
Wendy B. Correa (36:16):
Can bring some swag. And you'll you'll find
other people there that youwould like to have on your show.
So by all means, come and bringthe swag.
Cathy Worthington (36:24):
Okay.
Merry Elkins (36:25):
That is great. Cool. Well, thank you, Wendy.
You've been amazing for us andfor everybody listening. I hope
they'll buy your book, and Iknow they will.
I certainly will.
Wendy B. Correa (36:38):
It is available for preorder, My Pretty Baby,
and you can buy it wherever youbuy your books. It's available
now for preorder. So Bookshop,Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Simon
and Schuster, it's all there.And then you'll get it on
actually November 4 when thebook comes out. But I also want
(36:59):
you to know that I recorded myown audiobook.
Oh, So that good. Will That'llbe also be available on November
4 along with the book, theebook, the print book.
Cathy Worthington (37:13):
That'll be beautiful because you have a
beautiful speaking voice.
Merry Elkins (37:16):
You really do.
Cathy Worthington (37:17):
So that'll be lovely to listen to. Yeah.
Wendy B. Correa (37:20):
Yeah. Thank you so much. Well, pretty baby.
Merry Elkins (37:23):
Thank you. Well,
Wendy B. Correa (37:23):
thank you for this opportunity. It was lovely
to be with you, Mary and Kathy.
Cathy Worthington (37:29):
And for also for our listeners, you can learn
more about Wendy at our website,wendybcorrea.com. That's
wendybc0rrea.com. And of course,pick up a copy of her book, My
Pretty Baby.
Merry Elkins (37:48):
And we encourage all of our listeners to reach
out to Wendy, read her book, andcontinue the conversation about
healing from ACEs and findingthe resilience and courage that
she has so deftly found in herlife.
Cathy Worthington (38:04):
And as always, thank you for listening
to late boomers. Please don'tforget to subscribe to our
podcast. And if you're onYouTube, hit that subscribe
button for sure so you nevermiss an episode.
Wendy B. Correa (38:17):
And they can also reach me in on Instagram at
Wendy b Correa and on Facebookas as just Wendy Correa.
Merry Elkins (38:25):
Okay.
Wendy B. Correa (38:26):
Perfect.
Merry Elkins (38:26):
Thank you so much.
Wendy B. Correa (38:28):
Thank you.
Cathy Worthington (38:39):
Thank you for joining us on late boomers, the
podcast that is your guide tocreating a third act with style,
power, and impact. Please visitour website and get in touch
with us at lateboomers.us. Ifyou would like to listen to or
download other episodes of lateboomers, go to
ewnpodcastnetwork.com.
Merry Elkins (39:02):
This podcast is also available on Spotify, Apple
Podcast, and most other majorpodcast sites. We hope you make
use the wisdom you've gainedhere and that you enjoy a
successful third act with yourown style, power, and impact.
This is the EWN Podcast Network.
Cathy Worthington (00:14):
Welcome to late boomers, our podcast guide
to creating your third act withstyle, power, and impact. Hi.
I'm Kathy Worthington.
Merry Elkins (00:24):
And I'm Merry Elkins. Join us as we bring you
conversations with successfulentrepreneurs, entertainers, and
people with vision who aremaking a difference in the
world.
Cathy Worthington (00:34):
Everyone has a story, and we'll take you
along for the ride on eachinterview, recounting the
journey our guests have taken toget where they are, inspiring
you to create your own path tosuccess. Let's get started. Hi.
Welcome back to late boomers.I'm Kathy Worthington.
Merry Elkins (00:56):
And I'm Mary Elkins. Thanks for joining us
today. We've got a reallyimportant conversation lined up
for you, and it's one thattouches on resilience and
healing and the lasting effectof childhood experiences.
Cathy Worthington (01:11):
Yes. Our guest today is Wendy Correa,
author of My Pretty Baby. Herstory dives into something
called ACE, adverse childhoodexperiences, and how those
experiences could shape the restof our lives, both the struggles
and the triumphs.
Merry Elkins (01:27):
Yeah. That's really true. And ACE, a c e, is
a term that comes out of decadesof research showing that early
trauma, things like neglect orabuse, or household dysfunction,
which I think a lot of peopleexperience, can ripple through a
person's health andrelationships later in life.
But, you know, what's soinspiring about Wendy and her
(01:48):
her experiences is not just thatshe faced all these challenges,
but that she found ways to riseabove them and to heal and share
her journeys with others.
Cathy Worthington (02:00):
And Wendy doesn't shy away from telling
her truth. In her book, shetakes us through some very
personal chapters, and she pairsthem with hope. It's about
honesty, but also abouttransformation.
Merry Elkins (02:12):
Yes. And we can all benefit from that. And we'll
be talking with her about whatit was like to walk through
those darker times. And also,there's a copy of her book for
those of you on YouTube. Andit's Mhmm.
That's a picture of you, Wendy.Right? It is. And so we also
wanna talk about how youdiscovered sobriety, and what
(02:34):
helped you make that turningpoint, and how celebrity
encounters along the way shapedyour perspective on life.
Cathy Worthington (02:41):
I think listeners will connect not just
with the story of survivingadversity, but also with the
idea that reinvention ispossible at any stage.
Merry Elkins (02:51):
Absolutely. And it's it's almost always called
for anyway. So whether you facedyour own ACEs, or you're just
curious about how peopleovercome tough beginnings, this
conversation will resonate.
Cathy Worthington (03:06):
So let's bring her on, settle in with a
coffee or a wine, and we're sopleased to welcome Wendy Correa
to late boomers.
Merry Elkins (03:13):
Absolutely. Wendy Thank you.
Wendy B. Correa (03:15):
Thank you so much. It's wonderful to be here
with both of you.
Merry Elkins (03:19):
And it's great to have you.
Cathy Worthington (03:21):
Yeah. Where are you coming in from today?
Where do you
Wendy B. Correa (03:24):
live? Denver, Colorado.
Merry Elkins (03:26):
Oh, wonderful. One of my favorite states. I love
Colorado.
Cathy Worthington (03:30):
And, Wendy, for our listeners who may not be
familiar with the term ACE, canyou explain? Do you call it ACE
or do you call it ACE? ACE. ACE.ACE.
So can you explain what it meansmore in detail and why it's such
a powerful framework forunderstanding childhood trauma?
Wendy B. Correa (03:48):
Yes. And let me just begin by telling you and
the listeners what my prettybaby is about. I always like to
say that my pretty baby is anautopsy of my family. Oh. I
peeled apart the layers ofintergenerational and childhood
trauma, family dysfunction,family secrets and addiction,
(04:13):
and I eventually found healingthrough Buddhism, meditation,
yoga, sobriety, music,psychotherapy, and Native
American spirituality.
Along the way, I had incredibleaccount encounters with icons
like Joni Mitchell and RingoStarr and Hunter s Thompson. And
(04:40):
my pretty baby is aboutresilience, recovery, and
creating your own chosen familywhen the one you had is broken.
So we can jump right into whatthe ACE study and why it is
important. The adverse childhoodexperiences study found that two
(05:04):
thirds of adults had at leastone out of ten ACEs on a quiz
that you can take online. It'sjust a one to 10 quiz that you
can easily find online.
And so two thirds of adults haveat least one, and one in six
adults has four or more. And sothe trauma that you carry from
(05:31):
childhood and adolescence canincrease your risk for addiction
and mental illness and manyphysiological illnesses such as
heart disease and irritablebowel. The reason that I wanted
to write this book is becausethis is my call to action, that
(05:54):
we need to have theseconversations that you are
giving me the opportunity righthere and now to talk about
because trauma is a publichealth issue.
Merry Elkins (06:05):
You know, it really really is. And talk a
little bit more about the actualprocess you went through with
all of the healing that you diddo.
Wendy B. Correa (06:17):
Absolutely. And I just so I just wanna touch
back that in one of the booksthat I've read because while I
was writing my book, I readnumerous books by Gabor Mate and
Bessel van der Kolk and PeterLevine and Nadine Burke. And in
Nadine Burke's book, The DeepestWell, she found that if a child
(06:41):
had a score of six or more ACEs,their life expectancy can
decrease by twenty years. And Ihave an ACE score of seven out
of 10. But the good news is thatresearch is proving that the
damage can be reversed with theexact modalities that I
(07:06):
intuitively have practiced forthe last forty five years.
So when I left home at 17 andleft Illinois for California,
there was an intuition thatguided me. I was immediately
drawn to Buddhism and meditationand nature, hiking, and
(07:27):
eventually I found my way in LosAngeles. I worked in the music
industry, and music was one ofmy biggest outlets as a kid
growing up because it was free.It was on the radio. I listened
to WLS in Chicago.
Yeah. And music was my respite.Music really saved me. So
(07:48):
eventually, I found my way intothe music industry because I
thought music was one of thehighest forms of human
expression, and I wanted to be apart of that because I knew it
was so powerful. And at the sametime in Los Angeles, I also was
involved with a community thatpracticed Native American
(08:10):
spirituality.
And for many years, I practicedthat spirituality. And I also
got sober and started attendingAA meetings in Los Angeles that
were mostly for people in themusic industry and and
musicians. I also was getting mymaster's degree in clinical
(08:34):
psychology at AntiochUniversity. And as a student of
Antioch, you needed to also gothrough psychotherapy yourself,
which was, hello, very importantfor me. And that opened a lot of
windows for me of reclaimingmyself and reclaiming my story
(08:58):
and understanding how traumaworked.
And then I also in writing,there's a lot of research to
show. Pennebaker JamesPennebaker is one of the leading
researchers of using writing ascatharsis, using writing for
healing. So I did a lot ofjournaling and writing. And that
(09:23):
was also at one point when I wasstudying acting, I started
practicing yoga. And then Istarted to learn how the somatic
practices were also veryimportant to go along with the
psychotherapy.
So doing yoga, dance, movement,walking, hiking, singing, and
(09:47):
meditating are all somaticpractices or Oh, good to know.
Yeah. Grounded Yeah. I haven'theard that term so much. Yes.
Cathy Worthington (09:56):
Yeah. That's great. You've had some
fascinating encounters withcelebrities along the way. We
know. But how did theseexperiences impact you, and did
they shape the way you sawyourself during difficult times?
Wendy B. Correa (10:11):
Yes. And the reason that I wrote about them
is because these celebrities andwere so kind to me, and they
reflected back to me my own selfworth. Can you
Cathy Worthington (10:27):
tell us a little bit about one of the
encounters or two of theencounters?
Wendy B. Correa (10:33):
Absolutely. So the first was I was I was living
and working in Los Angeles, andI had a friend, Boyd Elder, who
has now passed. He's an artist,and he he designs many album
covers. And one day, he came toa restaurant where I was
(10:54):
working, and he he'd taken me toa lot of his friends' homes. So
I knew he knew a lot of people,and I always enjoyed going with
him to meet famous people.
But one day, he came to pick meup, and he said, I I wanna
introduce you to a friend ofmine. Well, mind you, I was
working at a restaurant inMalibu called the Jetty where we
served barbecue, and there was,you know, sawdust on the floor.
(11:18):
And I wore a white bowling shirtand jeans and high tops. And,
you know, my shirt is my whiteshirt is covered in barbecue
sauce. And, you know, I'm like,okay, Boyd.
You know, whatever. So westarted driving up Pacific Coast
Highway. But when we pulled intothe Malibu colony, then I was
like, wait a minute, Boyd. Whereare we going? Who am I meeting?
(11:41):
And, oh my gosh, do I have anymakeup on? I mean, I've been
sweating and working all day,and I have barbecue sauce on me.
And he as we're walking to thedoor, he says, she doesn't care
what you look like. And I'mlike, Boyd, who is she? Who is
she?
And he rings the bell, and here,Joni Mitchell opens the door.
Merry Elkins (12:01):
Wow. An experience.
Wendy B. Correa (12:04):
And I I was fortunate enough to have many
times that I spent with JodiMitchell. And she always treated
me like a sister. She we talkedabout, you know, silly things
about hairstyles and, you know,if we were ever gonna be able to
quit smoking. And on all ofthose occasions, she was just so
(12:29):
kind and thoughtful and generoustowards me. And I sat there
thinking, why is Joni Mitchellbeing so kind and and loving
towards me?
I'm no one. I'm no I'm notfamous. I you know, I'm I'm
nobody.
Cathy Worthington (12:44):
So did you have a little bit impostor
syndrome where you Oh, absolute.Of course. Unworthy of
Wendy B. Correa (12:50):
Well, I always felt because of my family
situation, I felt unlovable waswhat the the issue was for me.
And so Joni was one of thepeople like, well, wait a
minute. If Joni Mitchell is kindand loving to me, why isn't my
own family? And, you know, fbomb them. Because if Dodie
(13:16):
Mitchell likes me, who cares?
You know? She Right. She reallyreflected back to me some self
worth. And so that experienceand, you know, all of the other
times that I spent with her, Iit fed me. It fed me my my self
worth and my self esteem thatmaybe I actually was lovable.
Cathy Worthington (13:43):
And what about Ringo? I met him a couple
Merry Elkins (13:45):
times. About to ask that.
Cathy Worthington (13:47):
I've met him a couple of times. He's
delightful. I just wonder whatthat
Merry Elkins (13:50):
named her her her dog Ringo.
Cathy Worthington (13:53):
Oh, yeah. Because and I gave him it was a
rescue dog, so I gave him RingoStarr's birthday too.
Wendy B. Correa (13:58):
Oh, that's adorable.
Cathy Worthington (14:00):
That's amazing. He's a he's a wonderful
guy.
Wendy B. Correa (14:04):
He is a wonderful guy, and I wish I had
been able to spend as much timewith Ringo too as I I spent with
Joni. But Ringo, I met becausewe're sort of jumping ahead, but
that's fine too. I got I gotarrested for a DUI. I was in the
music industry, and I was givencourt ordered AA meetings. And
(14:29):
so the very first meeting that Iwalked into in West LA, I was
shaking in my boots.
I had no idea what to expect.And here walks up to me, this
gentleman who I know very wellwho he is, but he reaches out to
shake my hand and greet me. Andhe said, hello. My name is
(14:54):
Richard. And, of course, I waslike, well, your name might be
Richard, but it's
Cathy Worthington (15:00):
also It is.
Wendy B. Correa (15:03):
His lovely wife, Barbara Bach, was behind
him,
Cathy Worthington (15:06):
and she
Wendy B. Correa (15:06):
also shook my hand. And I sat there in my
first AA meeting thinking, oh mygod. If Ringo Starr can get
sober with everything thatsurrounds him, then I can too.
And if he's this dedicatededicated and committed to show
(15:27):
up to AA meetings to to greetnewbies, then I can do that too.
Oh.
So, you know, that was Yeah.
Cathy Worthington (15:36):
He wrote a song about it.
Wendy B. Correa (15:37):
That was my first AA meeting. And, of
course, I'm not outing anyonesobriety because it's very well
known that that Ringo andBarbara are, you know, decades
long Very long. Sober. But thepoint of telling that story to
my readers is that you neverknow what the kindness of one
(15:59):
person, how it might affect you.Not everybody that you meet is
gonna be, you know, the thecelebrity.
And I'm not you know, I happento live in Los Angeles, and I
worked in the music industry.And so I I really only went at
the time. I'm thirty eight yearssober, so this is a long time
ago.
Cathy Worthington (16:18):
Wow.
Wendy B. Correa (16:18):
But I I went only to AA meetings that were
specifically for people in themusic industry. So it was, you
know.
Cathy Worthington (16:28):
Yeah. It's good to network
Wendy B. Correa (16:30):
that way. Right. And so, you know, not
everyone I want everybody to goto AA meetings that, you know,
that if they need to, but don'tassume that a celebrity is gonna
come up and greet
Merry Elkins (16:42):
you. Right. Well, what about Hunter Thompson?
Because he's a wild guy or was.
Wendy B. Correa (16:48):
Yes. So I was sober, and I left Los Angeles
for Aspen, Colorado to be a DJon KSPN FM. And my program
manager told me he's like, doyou know who Hunter S. Thompson
is? And I was like, I think he'syou know, I've read some of his
(17:13):
articles in Rolling Stonemagazine, and isn't he in the
Dunesbury cartoons?
And he's like, yeah. But okay.Well, you're probably gonna get
calls from him in the middle ofthe night because as the newbie
DJ, my shift was 2AM to 6AM. Sosure enough Oh, yeah. Four in
(17:34):
the morning, I get a call, and,you know, the phone rings, and
I'm like, it's Wendy Moorerocking you on KSPN FM.
Good morning. And he and Huntersays, oh, yeah. Good morning.
Can you play me some WarrenZevon? Lawyers, guns, and money.
(17:54):
And I obviously knew who it was.So I said, hey. Good morning,
Hunter. Sure. I can play youWarren Zivon.
So I don't know how much timepassed, but, you know, pretty
much every night he would callme and ask me to play Warren
Sivan or some other song. And,you know, living in Aspen at the
(18:19):
time, I had to work, like, 10jobs. So I was also waitressing
again. And here comes Hunter andsits in in at my table and in my
station. And so I went up to, ofcourse, get his order from
lunch, but then I introducedmyself to say, hey, Hunter.
(18:42):
Not only am I your waitresstoday, but I'm also your DJ. And
he's like, oh, yeah. I reallylike you. And by the end of his
lunch, he said, you know, I needa I need a an assistant. You you
want the job?
And I was like, yeah. I want thejob. Of course, I want the job.
(19:05):
As a fledgling writer at thetime, I was like, I wanna be,
you know, around Hunter sThompson. And so I worked for
Hunter for a while and have somewild stories about Hunter, but
it was mostly what was so again,the reason that I tell the
story, I was completely sober.
I didn't smoke. I didn't drink.I didn't like guns. I didn't
(19:28):
know anything about politics orsports, and those were all
things that Hunter did. So Iwas, you know, working with him,
you know, filing papers andwhatever, answering the phone,
and sifting through boxes in hisbasement.
But he he knew that I didn'tdrink. He knew I didn't smoke
(19:48):
while he was sitting there doingeverything, you know, in in
front of me. And the only thinghe ever offered me was, hey, you
wanna go out and blow somethingup? Because he's notorious for
blowing things up and and Oh. Iguess have you you guys know who
(20:09):
Hunter S.
Thompson is? Yeah. Yeah.
Cathy Worthington (20:10):
I didn't. I didn't, but I know Doonesbury,
not George Gary Trudeau.
Wendy B. Correa (20:15):
Well, so you do know fear and loathing in Las
Vegas. Right. Right.
Merry Elkins (20:22):
Yeah. Ish. Okay.
Wendy B. Correa (20:24):
So you you could Ish. You could watch the
documentary about Hunter. HeOkay. Was a bigger than life
character. And even with all ofthat, with the guns and the
drugs, again, the reason that Iwrote about Hunter is because he
was so kind and generous withme.
(20:46):
And he reflected back to me myself worth. He made me feel like
a whole person. And I loved himfor that. And when I left to
move to Chicago because on theradio, I also met my future
(21:07):
husband. He and Oh, I good.
Left Aspen, and we moved toChicago. But when I left, I
always was like, I'll see youagain, Hunter. And I'm very sad
that I'll never see Hunter againbecause, as you know, he he
committed suicide.
Merry Elkins (21:26):
Yeah. So okay. Changing this that subject to
what was the turning point foryou for that led you to your
sobriety? Was there a singlemoment or a series of
realizations?
Wendy B. Correa (21:43):
Well, when I left home at 17 and moved to
California and put myselfthrough college and then
transferred to Humboldt State, Iwas searching. I was searching
for healing. I was searching forwholesomeness. I was searching
for my tribe. I was searchingfor where I belonged.
(22:04):
I was searching for spiritualityand to find meaning in life, and
that's when I found the Buddhismand hiking. And I started to
heal myself, but then, like Isaid, I moved to Los Angeles and
worked in the music industry.And what, you know, I would feel
(22:25):
good about myself, and then Iwould, you know, be using
alcohol and cocaine and drugsand to numb the pain. And it was
getting arrested. I was partyingon Sunset Strip at Sushi on
Sunset with a band and, youknow, drove home towards Venice
(22:51):
Beach where I lived, and I gotpulled over.
And I just hoped that the policethought with my fishnet black
stockings and my short litterlittle, you know, leather
miniskirt and my rabbit furjacket that the police thought I
looked, you know, like like TinaTurner cool rock and roll and
(23:15):
not as a hooker. So but I wasthrown in jail. And like I said,
I had I couldn't drive except towork, to the grocery store, and
to AA meetings for a year. And Ihad court ordered AA meetings.
And so the huge turning pointwas was that.
(23:36):
The arrest. The arrest and thenwalking into an AA meeting and
seeing the likes of Ringo Starrthat I'm not alone. And there
were many celebrities in the AAmeetings that I sat in. Yeah.
That time a lot of people wereneeding to get sober, and so I I
was not alone.
(23:57):
And so that was was great. Ahuge turning point for me. And
then I was sober for five yearswhen I decided I really needed
to let go of the nicotine aswell. And so finally, five years
later, I was able to get cleanfrom nicotine.
Cathy Worthington (24:16):
That's great. And writing a book like this
takes a lot of courage. So howdid the act of writing help you
heal?
Wendy B. Correa (24:26):
Well, what's interesting at when I first went
to Los Angeles, I was studyingacting. And in my acting class,
it was the Stanislavski methodof acting. And we did an
exercise called sense memory.Yes. Where we sit in a chair,
and this is back in the day ofprimal screaming.
(24:48):
So to warm up, there was amattress on the floor, and we
would flail and do these likevery guttural vocalizations and
then sit in front of the theclass. And I was to relay a
childhood memory in front of myclass and using all of the
(25:09):
senses. So you're using sight,sound, touch, hearing. And I
started describing my fatherdied when I was seven, and I was
describing a scene when I wasabout four with my father. And I
was following him around thebackyard, and he was tending to
his strawberry patch.
(25:30):
And he chose the biggest,juiciest strawberry out of the
patch and wiped off the dirt andpopped it into my mouth. And so
I was describing the succulent,you know, juices and the taste
of the strawberry, and thenthere was this beautiful lattice
braided archway that was justheavy with honeysuckle. And so
(25:52):
I'm describing the sense ofsmell, which it turns out the
sense of smell is the strongestsense that we have and is
directly connected to a lot ofchildhood memories because that
is when we're first reallygrowing and developing these
senses. And I thought this was abeautiful happy memory, and
(26:16):
that's why I chose it. I'm gonnachoose this happy memory of my
dad.
But as I'm going through thisexercise, my teacher who was a
famous acting teacher in LA, Iused to love just to say his
name, Pierino Mascarino. Hewould say to me, Wendy, speak to
him. Speak to your father. And Icouldn't. There were these
(26:40):
emotions just roiling in my bodythat didn't that were not
familiar to me, that were notconnected to this happy little
memory that I was trying to comeup with.
And, eventually, I sputteredout, I'm mad at you. And I was
shocked because I had no ideathat I was mad at my father who
(27:01):
died when I was seven. And Ilearned this how powerful using
the senses are in evokingmemories. And so for an actor,
that those using sense memoryhelps you to develop a more
authentic and three-dimensionalcharacter. But when I started
(27:25):
writing my pretty baby in 2015and I started taking a lot of
writing classes, and I createdwhat I call my own MFA program
because I took lots of classesand I read dozens and dozens of
memoir and craft books, and Idrew upon that sense memory
(27:49):
exercise from decades ago torecreate the scenes that I
wanted to write.
And I of course I I put aroundme my photos and journals and
letters and emails, but alsoInternet research. And I used my
senses to recreate what I wantedto write about. So in the
(28:15):
opening scene, it's 1964, andI'm in a voting booth. I'm four
years old. I'm in a voting boothwith my mother.
She's voting for JFK, and I cansmell her Estee Lauder Youth Du
Perfume.
Merry Elkins (28:32):
Oh, wow.
Wendy B. Correa (28:32):
And that evokes those memories so vividly. And
so to really get to the point ofyour question, Kathy, I because
though since memory is sopowerful, there were certainly
times in writing my book thatresulted in heaving sobs of, you
(28:55):
know, sadness and grief and sortof reliving it in real time.
Cathy Worthington (29:03):
Yeah. Then it actually gets it all out of your
body. Right?
Wendy B. Correa (29:06):
But also I was in therapy. And so with the
therapist's help, I had numerouspractices for not just getting
it out, but really processingit. So one of the techniques
that is considered one of thebest for trauma for PTSD or
complex PTSD, which is what Ihave, is called EMDR.
Merry Elkins (29:30):
Oh, with the eyes.
Wendy B. Correa (29:31):
Eye movement desensitization. Yeah.
Merry Elkins (29:35):
It's tough tough. So that actually, you're
answering the question I've hadon my mind as to the tools and
practices that you've learned tokeep moving forward, and it
sounds like you're still usingsense memory. Tell us a little
more about the EMD when oldwounds resurface.
Wendy B. Correa (29:56):
Yes. So as I was writing my book, I was
working with this therapist andusing EMDR to relay to her these
memories. So EMDR helps you tobasically process it's called
bilateral stimulation of thebrain. It just helps to take the
(30:20):
zing and the retraumatizationout of remembering those events.
So, of course, you stillremember the events, but it
takes that emotional zing out ofit, and it helps the brain to
process to process thosememories.
And the other tool that she usedwas something called IMTT, image
(30:42):
transformation therapy, which isusing breath work and
visualization also to gentlyrelease those memories. So
luckily for me, while I waswriting the book, I was also you
know, I have been I have been intherapy for on and off for many
(31:03):
years. But during the process ofwriting my book, it was really
important to have that supportand to be able to go through the
process as I was writing and toprocess it really fully. I've
also done inner child work. I'vedone a lot of work to heal
(31:24):
myself and to process thetrauma.
Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Merry Elkins (31:31):
Well, you've shown such strength in turning pain
into something that can inspireothers. What do you hope readers
take away from My Pretty Baby?And I'm I'm I know they'll take
a lot away a lot away from thispodcast.
Wendy B. Correa (31:51):
I hope that my readers will take away that
although trauma is universal, sois healing. And telling the
truth about what happened isn'tabout blame or retribution. It's
about breaking cycles andhealing. And especially if you
(32:12):
have children, I feel like oneof the greatest gifts that you
can give your children is to bea cycle breaker yourself and to
know that healing is not onlypossible, but it's contagious in
the best sense of the word.Because when you are healed,
then you can bring others up,and you can be a beacon of light
(32:36):
to other people.
So I really hope that my prettybaby is that beacon of light
maybe for someone else who'sstruggling about,
Merry Elkins (32:45):
you
Wendy B. Correa (32:45):
know, wondering how to begin, where to begin
their own healing process.
Cathy Worthington (32:51):
Well, there's certainly a lot of suggestions
in your story by itself. You'vetried every modality and people
can look to that and follow yourRight. Your plan. That's pretty
good start. And, Wendy, lookingahead, what's next for you?
More writing or speaking or somenew projects?
Wendy B. Correa (33:14):
Well, right now, I am just so excited. My
pretty baby actually launches,you know, a month from now, and
my book launch will be in Denverat my my beloved bookstore
Tattered Cover. And then thenext day, I fly to Los Angeles,
and I'll be at Diesel abookstore.
Cathy Worthington (33:37):
Oh, we live in Los Angeles.
Merry Elkins (33:38):
No. Yes. We'll come. We'll come. Well, there it
is.
Let us know.
Cathy Worthington (33:42):
But we gotta know that I'm
Wendy B. Correa (33:44):
gonna let you know right now. It's November 9.
It's a Sunday at 3PM, and it'sgoing to be moderated by the
remarkable Renee Montaigne fromNPR. Oh. Mhmm.
Yes. And I will
Cathy Worthington (34:01):
At be Diesel. That's in Santa Monica. Right?
Wendy B. Correa (34:04):
Yes. Santa Monica. At the Brentwood Country
Mart. Right.
Cathy Worthington (34:08):
Yeah.
Wendy B. Correa (34:09):
That is November 9 at 3PM. And Renee
Montane and then my one of mySheWritesPress is my publisher.
One of my SheWritesPresssisters, Jacqueline Jackson, is
also going to be there with mewith her book. And then I will
also be in the San Francisco BayArea in Corte Madera at Book of
(34:32):
Passage on December 6. And thatwill be a panel with my
publisher Brooke Warnermoderating.
And then I'll be in Aspen,Colorado at Explore Books. And
I'll be at the Barnes and Noblein Colorado Boulevard in Denver
on December 15.
Cathy Worthington (34:52):
You've got quite a
Wendy B. Correa (34:53):
tour.
Merry Elkins (34:53):
You really do. And and the best time of year to be
in Aspen, will say.
Wendy B. Correa (34:58):
Oh, yes. It's gonna be a lot of fun.
Cathy Worthington (35:01):
It's gonna be amazing. Yeah. And I'm just
gonna go out on a limb here,Mary, and suggest that if anyone
comes up to us at the Dieselbooks, they could see us on
YouTube right now. If you'relistening on audio, check us
out. Right.
You can recognize us. Anybodycomes up and says they heard
this podcast, they're gonna geta prize.
Wendy B. Correa (35:20):
Oh, wow.
Merry Elkins (35:21):
But once you idea.
Wendy B. Correa (35:22):
Once you send me the links, once you send me
the clips, we're gonna put mypublicist will be putting this
out there, and I'll be puttingit out there. And we're I would
just like to know that someoneheard it, showed up at a book
signing. That's an amazing thingin itself.
Merry Elkins (35:39):
Absolutely. And we better find out what kind of
pies to get.
Cathy Worthington (35:44):
Oh, no. Prize.
Merry Elkins (35:46):
Oh, well, prize. Why not a pie?
Cathy Worthington (35:48):
A prize. Not pies. I thought she she thought
you were We're not giving awaypies except maybe in the face.
Merry Elkins (35:55):
I when when I thought she said pie, I thought,
oh, what kind of prize?
Cathy Worthington (35:59):
So cute. They're gonna get a prize. We
will discuss that and figure itout, Mary.
Merry Elkins (36:05):
We'll figure it out.
Cathy Worthington (36:06):
We don't know what the prize is yet.
Merry Elkins (36:08):
Might be a cookie. Well, by all
Cathy Worthington (36:10):
means a good prize.
Wendy B. Correa (36:12):
Bring some swag. Bring some swag.
Cathy Worthington (36:15):
Yeah.
Wendy B. Correa (36:16):
Can bring some swag. And you'll you'll find
other people there that youwould like to have on your show.
So by all means, come and bringthe swag.
Cathy Worthington (36:24):
Okay.
Merry Elkins (36:25):
That is great. Cool. Well, thank you, Wendy.
You've been amazing for us andfor everybody listening. I hope
they'll buy your book, and Iknow they will.
I certainly will.
Wendy B. Correa (36:38):
It is available for preorder, My Pretty Baby,
and you can buy it wherever youbuy your books. It's available
now for preorder. So Bookshop,Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Simon
and Schuster, it's all there.And then you'll get it on
actually November 4 when thebook comes out. But I also want
(36:59):
you to know that I recorded myown audiobook.
Oh, So that good. Will That'llbe also be available on November
4 along with the book, theebook, the print book.
Cathy Worthington (37:13):
That'll be beautiful because you have a
beautiful speaking voice.
Merry Elkins (37:16):
You really do.
Cathy Worthington (37:17):
So that'll be lovely to listen to. Yeah.
Wendy B. Correa (37:20):
Yeah. Thank you so much. Well, pretty baby.
Merry Elkins (37:23):
Thank you. Well,
Wendy B. Correa (37:23):
thank you for this opportunity. It was lovely
to be with you, Mary and Kathy.
Cathy Worthington (37:29):
And for also for our listeners, you can learn
more about Wendy at our website,wendybcorrea.com. That's
wendybc0rrea.com. And of course,pick up a copy of her book, My
Pretty Baby.
Merry Elkins (37:48):
And we encourage all of our listeners to reach
out to Wendy, read her book, andcontinue the conversation about
healing from ACEs and findingthe resilience and courage that
she has so deftly found in herlife.
Cathy Worthington (38:04):
And as always, thank you for listening
to late boomers. Please don'tforget to subscribe to our
podcast. And if you're onYouTube, hit that subscribe
button for sure so you nevermiss an episode.
Wendy B. Correa (38:17):
And they can also reach me in on Instagram at
Wendy b Correa and on Facebookas as just Wendy Correa.
Merry Elkins (38:25):
Okay.
Wendy B. Correa (38:26):
Perfect.
Merry Elkins (38:26):
Thank you so much.
Wendy B. Correa (38:28):
Thank you.
Cathy Worthington (38:39):
Thank you for joining us on late boomers, the
podcast that is your guide tocreating a third act with style,
power, and impact. Please visitour website and get in touch
with us at lateboomers.us. Ifyou would like to listen to or
download other episodes of lateboomers, go to
ewnpodcastnetwork.com.
Merry Elkins (39:02):
This podcast is also available on Spotify, Apple
Podcast, and most other majorpodcast sites. We hope you make
use the wisdom you've gainedhere and that you enjoy a
successful third act with yourown style, power, and impact.
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