June 11, 2025 • 47 mins
This is a story of resilience, reinvention, and the power of choice. Merry and Cathy dive deep into this with reinvention strategist Patti Smith. What drove Patti from the glitz of fashion to the heartfelt world of life coaching? How did her sister's battle with cancer reshape her journey? Patti shares insights from her book, "What Am I to Do Now?" and introduces her transformative "Ignite You" system. From embracing fear to fostering gratitude, Patti's wisdom is a beacon for navigating life's second act. Tune in.
Patti Smith's Bio:
Patti Smith is a seasoned professional who has carved a path of success across diverse industries, from the dynamic world of fashion & publishing to the intricacies of the luxury market & healthcare industry. Her exceptional achievements including multiple sales awards & executive positions, reflect her remarkable ability to excel in various fields and continually reinvent herself. Patti's journey has been marked by a commitment to personal growth & transformational success principles. Following a profound personal loss, she embarked on a journey of self-discovery that led her to become an entrepreneur, motivational speaker, life coach and reinvention strategist.
Patti's conviction in the boundless power of human potential radiates through her work. Her latest achievement, the publication of her book "What Am I To Do Now? - Simple Strategies to Navigate the Unknown & IGNITE What's Next in Your Life", is a testament to her expertise in guiding individuals through life's uncertainties.
Patti's work in personal development and her book demonstrates her unwavering dedication to empowering individuals to lead more fulfilling and purpose-driven lives, as the leader of their lives.
Patti lives in southern California with her husband and sweet dog, Blue. Their daughter recently graduated Summa Cum Laude, earning a bachelor's degree in Entertainment Business, while landing her first career job at her dream company two weeks before graduation. Patti believes in the power of leading by example, as she continues to be a role model of evolution and impact to those around her.
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Website: www.PattiSmithCoaching.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PattiSmithCoaching?kuid
Instagram: pattismithcoaching
LinkedIn: pattismithcoaching
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Patti Smith (00:01):
This is the EWN Podcast Network.
Cathy (00:14):
Welcome to late boomers, our podcast guide to creating
your third act with style,power, and impact. Hi. I'm Cathy
Worthington.
Merry (00:24):
And I'm Merry Elkins. Join us as we bring you
conversations withentrepreneurs, entertainers, and
people with vision who aremaking a difference in the
world.
Cathy (00:34):
Everyone has a story, and we'll take you along for the
ride on each interview,recounting the journey our
guests have taken to get wherethey are, inspiring you to
create your own path to success.Let's get started.
Hello. I'm Cathy Worthington welcoming you to a
(00:55):
new episode of late boomers. I'mhere with my cohost, Merry
Elkins, and we are pleased tointroduce reinvention strategist
speaker and life success coach,Patty Smith, who will give
pointers on what to do when lifethrows us curveballs or when
we're stuck and really need tomove forward.
Merry (01:15):
And I'm Merry Elkins. Patty carved a path of success
in diverse industries from theworld of fashion and publishing
to health care, but a profoundloss sent her on a different
path to helping others. Herbook, what am I to do now?
Simple strategies to navigatethe unknown and ignite what's
(01:37):
next in your life, has helpedPatty guide countless people
through life's uncertainties.Welcome, Patti.
Patti Smith (01:45):
Great to be with you too.
Merry (01:46):
It's great to have you.
Cathy (01:49):
Please tell us about your journey and how you came to a
career in coaching othersthrough life's changes.
Patti Smith (01:58):
Yes. I'd love to. Well, I was I think I had talked
to you guys at a conference thatwe met at, and I was saying that
my journey when I was young,there were two things that
really pulled me. One wasfashion, and one was helping
people. So I started my firstjourney in the fashion industry
(02:18):
and eventually evolved to whereI am today, which is life
coaching and helping people.
So, I guess all that came fullcircle since I've been a little
girl. That's how I was pulled.But as far as, like, moving from
fashion to health care and theninto what I'm doing now, my
(02:39):
older sister was diagnosed withcancer and eventually moved to
terminal cancer. And that's whenI got out of the fashion and
luxury market and went to becomea full time caregiver for my
sister. She had two kids, andshe was divorced.
(02:59):
And, you know, our life changed,and, you know, everything
changed overnight. And it wasshe lived with us for about
eight months, and, we had herkids part time. And then when
she passed away, something justreally shifted in me, and I just
knew I had to move forward in adifferent way. And I was really
(03:22):
pulled. I think I was in thatworld of health care for almost
a year, and I just, you know, Ijust learned so much, and I was
really pulled to advocacy.
I didn't know what I was gonnado. I mean, I came from the
fashion background, so healthcare was a brand new territory.
But I just felt really called,and I got I jumped in. I started
(03:46):
networking, and I eventuallylanded at, a few different
places, but I landed at anentrepreneurial company. And it
just it was the right place atthe right time, and I just felt,
that was my next.
And what was interesting was, asI as I thought that this was my
next for a long time, within twoyears, our CEO went rogue, and I
(04:11):
had to shut down the company.And it's what propelled me to
really go into I embarked on ajourney of self discovery really
deeply after that, and, that'swhat took me into personal
development. I went to apersonal development event, and,
that's when my whole worldopened up, and I realized that's
(04:35):
where I was meant to be forhelping people. And so here I am
today. So I've reinvented myselfmany, many times.
Throughout there, there's littlestories, and I talk about them
in my book, but I feel likewe're constantly evolving. And I
feel like that question ofwhat's next as we navigate
(04:55):
seasons in our life, some mightbe planned. A lot of them are
unexpected, and it I think if westay open and curious, we're
supposed to be evolving till wetake our last breath.
Cathy (05:06):
Well, that's interesting. Because so many people that
we're all evolving don't followthe next step, or they don't
move to something new. And youkind of followed how you were
being called, and most peopleignore that little voice.
Merry (05:22):
Your in insight and your intuition. But but and and I was
actually going to ask you alittle bit about your book
because you have such greatquotes in it. And I remember the
one that, Ella Fitzgerald said,but, which she said it's not
where you come from, it's whereyou're going that counts. And on
(05:42):
that topic of what's next, goahead and tell us what you think
it is. What does it look like?
How do we know?
Patti Smith (05:52):
You know, I think, you know, it's interesting. I as
a speaker, I talk on reinventionand self leadership. And, you
know, I feel like we need to beleaders of our own lives. And
there's a there's a story that Ilove to tell. It's from a movie.
It's one of my favorite holidaymovies, and it's called the
holiday. And it's where a womanthat's I don't know if you guys
(06:14):
are familiar with it. KateWinslet is in it. And her and
Cameron Diaz switch homes forthe holidays. One's in England
and one's in Yeah.
LA, and it's because they'reboth going through broken
hearts. And so Kate Winslet isin Beverly Hills, and she ends
up meeting the neighbor who's anOscar winning writer. They're
having dinner, and, you know,he's talking about her woes of,
(06:37):
you know, why she's there. Andhe I love this line. He says,
Iris, in the movies, we have theleading lady and the best
friend.
You, can tell her leading lady,but for some reason, you're
behaving like the best friend.And she looks at him, and she
says, you're right. You'resupposed to be the leading lady
of your own life. And I justlove that because I think we're
(06:58):
supposed to be leaders of ourown life, and that constantly
changes and evolves. Andsometimes it's, you know, like,
we go through divorce or we haveloss, and we are meant to
continue to navigate that.
And I think if we stay curious,like, I have a seven step system
called Ignite You. I use theacronym Ignite You.
Merry (07:20):
We're gonna ask you all about that.
Patti Smith (07:23):
Yes. Well, the first is about imagination, and
I think, you know, when we'reimagination is a powerful tool.
But when we're young, we use itthe way we're supposed to, which
is in service of what we wouldlove. And I think when as we get
on in life and experiencethings, we use it more to
terrorize ourselves of all ofthe, oh, no. Yeah.
(07:45):
Yeah. It paralyzes us versususing it to inspire and ignite
us. And so, I think it's reallygoing back to when you were a
kid and, you know, the world wasyour oyster. And even though we
have different seasons and itlooks different, throughout
those different seasons and thereasons why. And sometimes it's
(08:05):
just because we're bored, and,you know, maybe we retired, and
it's like we didn't think aboutwhat was next, or maybe we've
suffered something reallydifficult.
But as long as we're breathing,we're supposed to be evolving.
And I I wanna bring up onestory, because it really was
profound for me, and it when itwent on while I was in the
(08:28):
middle of writing my book, andit's a story about my dad. My
dad was 87 years old when my mompassed away, and it was fairly
quickly. It was within a year ofwe're going into early stage
dementia and then late stagedementia. And my mom was the
social calendar.
My mom was the the one who wasyou know, she did the cooking,
(08:50):
and my dad did other things. Hekinda had an adventurous spirit,
but he was more extrovert. Hewas more introvert. So when my
mom passed, I mean, they hadjust celebrated sixty years
together. And he was I havenever seen my dad, this strong
man, so heartbroken.
(09:10):
I mean, he was. My sister and Iwere like, woah. And three weeks
after my mom passed, mybrother's daughter who had was
about to graduate from collegethe next year, three weeks after
my mom died, she was killed in atragic accident. Oh. And my dad
(09:31):
was like, first of all, allfamily was devastated.
You know, we we're at a funeralthree weeks after my mom's, but
my dad's like, I don't even knowwhat I'm gonna do with this
because I haven't processed yourmom. And my younger sister and I
are like, he's not gonna makeit. And what was interesting is
within a few months, he calledme because he lives in Michigan.
I'm in LA. But he said, Patty,I've made it.
(09:52):
This is at 87. I've made adecision. I can sit here and
feel sorry for myself and makeexcuses and just wait to die, or
I can, and these are his words,reinvent myself. And I've made a
decision to reinvent myself. AndI was like, okay.
What's this simple clack? Imean, who is this man? Yeah.
Cathy (10:15):
And who took my dad?
Merry (10:16):
Where'd my dad go?
Patti Smith (10:18):
Well and, you know, like, we all have different
seasons of what maybe areinvention is. But for him, at
that point, you know what thatlooks like for him? Because it's
he was outside of his comfortzone, and that's where that
reinvention occurs. You knowwhat he did? He pulled out my
mom's recipe book, and heliterally started to teach
himself how to cook.
(10:39):
And he my mom would not believethat. But he would and then he
started, you know, oh, don'tcare if it doesn't turn out.
I'll try it again. And then hestarted making different things.
He's bringing it to church, andthe women at church love.
Oh, here's the lemon blueberrybread that Don made, and he just
was got him engaged. And thenanother thing he did, which was
so uncomfortable, my motheralways wanted him to volunteer
(11:02):
at church, and he said, that isnot for me. That's for you. He
started volunteering at church.And it was not easy, but he said
if he did not put himself aroundcommunity with his personality,
it would be easy to very muchcontract.
And so to see somebody whosuffered two losses so close
(11:23):
that within months, literallymake a decision where he just
you know, this is what I'mdoing. He put himself out there,
and he didn't know what he wasdoing. But I mean
Merry (11:35):
At 87. Yeah.
Patti Smith (11:37):
Yeah. And he's introverted. So I I mean, I
literally was blown away, and itwas just another you know, it
just showed me that it really isa choice. You know? You you
always have a decision whenthings happen or when we feel
like we're not like, a lot oftimes people I think, women
(11:58):
sometimes as in our second actand and say we're even working
or involved in work, we startgetting even if we're very
accomplished, you you startfeeling stagnant, like, what's
missing?
And I think that we go from youknow, we we're searching for
purpose and fulfillment, and sowe're looking more for purpose
driven success in our second actrather than just focusing on,
(12:22):
you know, success like when
Cathy (12:24):
you're younger than I wanted to ask you about that
because boomers often faceuncertainty about what to do
after retirement, or perhapsthey're experiencing empty nests
or or health issues. So how dowe shift our mindsets and move
forward?
Patti Smith (12:43):
You know, the very last chapter in my book, I talk
about living vision drivenversus condition driven. And the
very first thing that, when Iwork I work a lot with women,
and the very first thing I askthem, but this this applies to
men and women as my book does,is what would you love? Not what
(13:06):
do you think you can have orwhat sounds practical, but,
like, what pulls you? And it'snot necessarily always like it's
gotta be a career or it could bephilanthropy. What what kind of
things touch your heart?
Or maybe there's hobbies, likeyou love painting, but it's not
something you've done in awhile. Or maybe there's
something something new. It'sit's really about coming back to
(13:29):
when you were a kid saying,what's something that interests
me? And, you know, start and notbeing afraid of it's gotta be
you know, I've gotta be good atit. It's you think about it,
life is about learning.
And, you know, reef like, I themindset piece is is so important
because we learn by doing. Andthink about it. When you try
(13:52):
something new, it's probablyyou're gonna fail first. And so
what? We learned to walk byfalling down.
Feedback. Right? We didn't knocksome walkers. We didn't know
anybody. We just kept tryinguntil we walked.
We learned to drive by trial anderror. You've kept failing, and
but you wanna have thatindependence and freedom so bad
(14:13):
that you're willing to getthrough being afraid. And
Cathy (14:18):
Yeah.
Patti Smith (14:18):
I think when you go after when I say vision driven,
that's looking at what ignitesyour heart and soul versus
looking at your conditionsaround you. Like, oh, I'm too
old. Oh, I'm not feel great.Like, it's it's wherever you
focus, where your attentiongoes, energy flows. And if
you're always looking at Oh.
(14:39):
Why you can't, then you won't.But if you're looking at it from
the eyes like a kid, beingcurious, it is amazing what you
can do. And I really believethat you were just getting
started, women in their secondact. Mhmm. Because I think, you
know, if you have a family oreven aging parents, you know,
(15:03):
life becomes about you'restretching yourself so much.
And I think once your kids getolder and or and maybe you're
not working the grind like youwere before, so much can open up
for you, but you've gotta staycurious and and and really get
clear with what you would love.You know, it's funny when I work
(15:23):
with women, and the first thingI'll ask them is, you know, so
what is it that you're lookingfor? You know, what would you I
love saying what would you lovebecause it's different than what
would you like. And you knowwhat they always tell me? Every
time, they tell me what theydon't want.
And that wasn't the question. Itwas what would you love?
Cathy (15:43):
That is not
Patti Smith (15:43):
the question. Yeah. We know what we don't want, but
have we spent much time? Andwhen I'm when when I keep okay.
We know what you don't want.
And when I keep, you know, backinto that question, you know
what? Lots of times happens. Iwas blown away when I first
started working with women, butthen it became kinda normal. I
don't care what kind ofpersonality they have. Almost
(16:06):
every time, there's some kind oftears, and they're like, I can't
believe why am I crying?
And I'm like, because you'retouching a part of yourself that
you haven't let yourself Mhmm.You know, connect within a long
time at that level. And, youknow, that's what I'm passionate
about is, you know, justigniting that aliveness in you
(16:28):
and just going for it because wedon't know how long we have. You
know? I lost my niece at 21, mysister at 50, and my mom at 82.
So we don't know when our lastbreath is. And and so that's why
I say, if you make it a habit ofliving vision driven, letting
your vision of what you'recurious and what lights you up
(16:50):
pull you rather than yourconditions. And the more you
make that a habit, the more itwill become a habit. And that's
looking at the glass fuller halfempty in concept.
Merry (16:59):
Ah, that's interesting. Well, talk about you mentioned
it a little earlier, the dreambuilder and the seven step
ignite you system that helpspeople brighten their lives up.
They talk about these systemsand how can they help us define
our goals and our needs further.
Patti Smith (17:20):
Sure. Yeah. The the system that I take people
through, and and it's in mybook, it's called I've used the
acronym IGNITE and then theletter u. And it's really to
because that's the question is,okay. How do I even begin?
Right? I haven't even thoughtlike that in a long time or
maybe something that reallypulled you into not a easy like
(17:42):
a great place, it's just hard toget motivated. Right? And so I
take them through the steps. Andthe first is and I won't get
heavily into it, but just tokinda go through them.
First is inspire yourimagination, and that's what
I've been talking about. Youknow? What would you love? What
turns you on? What what is justinteresting for you?
And even think back to thingsthat maybe you haven't done in a
(18:04):
while, but things that made youhappy, things that just sparked
the you know, you know, gets youputs you up in the morning, put
it that way. Right? Because yourimagination is really what is
the beginning of what fuelstransformation. And then the
second is get clear with whatyou want and why. And that's
because clarity is power, andspecificity is key because we
(18:29):
need to be specific about whatwe would love.
You know? Use the Internet as anexample. If you're looking up a
good restaurant, right, and ifyou just put a nice restaurant
in Los Angeles, tons ofrestaurants will show up. Then
if you say a good Italianrestaurant. What if you said a
(18:49):
good Italian restaurant thatserves gluten free pasta and is
in West Hills, California?
The list gets a lot clearer andmore succinct. And that's why
when people say, I wanna behappy, well, what does that
mean? And I like to say, look atit like a photograph when you
went on vacation. You had lotsof memories, but you can look at
(19:12):
a photograph and you remember,oh, I was in this place, and I
was feeling this way. And, youknow, maybe you were you were
with a significant other or witha bunch of girlfriends or
whatever it is, and you describethe photograph.
That's when I get get specificabout what would be an idea of
something that would fill you upand be specific. Because when
(19:33):
you're specific, then whenyou're wanting to take actions,
you're clear with where that isbecause we need to have a
direction, you know, a visionthat pulls you. And then
Cathy (19:43):
So these are these are how the steps work and how we're
connecting with them.
Patti Smith (19:49):
Yeah. Use your imagination and then get clear.
Okay. What kinds of things wouldyou love? And then let me zone
in on what are the things thatreally light me up, and let me
be specific.
Like, what is a happy day looklike for you? Or what would be,
you know, in in the year, whatwould what's something I would
love to be doing? You know?Maybe it's writing a book. Maybe
it's painting.
(20:10):
Who knows what it is? Maybeit's, you know, getting involved
in philanthropy. Well, whatkinds of things touch your
heart? Get really specific. Andthen, you know, the why is,
well, why is it important toyou?
Because when you have a strongwhy, it grounds you. When you're
moving forward with your vision,the why is what will keep you
grounded when maybe you getdistracted or maybe, you know,
(20:33):
you've mentioned something aboutit to somebody, and they're
like, what are you are youcrazy? I'm too old for that. But
if you know why something'simportant to you, that's gonna
be your anchor. So that's thesecond step.
And then the third is nail downyour decision to go for it. Like
when I shared the story about mydad, he made a decision because
decision, you know, leads toprogress, and it's putting your
(20:57):
stake in the ground andcommitting. I am doing this.
And, you know, I'm closing theback door and maybe and it's
happening. I don't know how it'sgonna happen, but it's gonna
happen.
Because I think people getcaught up in how, and when they
can't answer how, they give up.You put the how on hold, because
you don't need to know how. Youjust need to know what, and then
(21:20):
that you know, then we'll leadinto the action. So, the the
decision is is important onceyou're clear. And then once
you're moving forward with yourdecision, the next is invite and
support of like minded peopleand mentors.
And this is where community andmentorship are so important. You
know, Sandra Yancey, we all knowher. She's the CEO of p women.
(21:45):
She has this quote, and I loveit. She says, your dream comes
from inside you.
Your success comes from who'sbeside you. Oh. And that always
makes me tear up because she sheone of one of the one of her
made pullers, her values is andit's my favorite one with Did
(22:06):
You Climb. And I love thatbecause, you know, we can only
do so much on our own, But whenyou have support, when you have
a community, you can movemountains. And, it's just so
important to be around peoplethat are going to maybe help you
stay accountable because it'shard to see the picture when
(22:26):
you're in your own frame, right,of your life.
Mhmm. You want the support ofaccountability, but yet people
that help you, you know, supportyou in moving forward, and
they're not telling you, oh,you're too old, or who do you
think you are? You're noteducated enough. You know,
they're they're there to supportyou because they see how it
lights you up. So that's I thinksupport really helps.
(22:48):
You know, success grows withsupport. It really does. And
then t is take inspired actionevery day because nothing
happens unless you act. And Iwill quote, Sandra again. She
takes the acronym ACT, andaction changes things, and it's
so true.
And that's where, you know, Iwas telling you guys, we learn
(23:09):
by doing. And, you know, don'tbe afraid to fail and reframe
failure's feedback. And JohnMaxwell, I have this quote in my
book. You know the quote,sometimes you win, sometimes you
learn? He says, sometimes youwin, sometimes you like,
sometimes you win, sometimes youlose is the quote.
He says sometimes you win,sometimes you learn. And I love
(23:32):
that because evolution orevolving is always about
learning. And we're gonna trynew things, and it's exciting,
but it's okay if we look foolishdoing it. I mean, that's that's
Yeah.
Cathy (23:44):
What that's what They always tell us to frame our
failures as learning experienceas Absolutely. You're learning
when you fail, and you're notlearning when you don't
Merry (23:53):
And winning too. It's a learning experience. What could
I have done a little better evenif you win?
Patti Smith (24:00):
Well and I think sometimes people like, when I'm
working with people with, youknow, making changes and moving
and growing, you you you can besometimes people get so stuck in
the learning. Like, they'realways reading things and going
to seminars and all this. Butuntil you apply what you're
learning, it's you know, I thinkit's Einstein that has a quote,
(24:22):
that knowledge really, comesfrom experience. I mean,
knowledge is okay. It's nice.
It's good to have knowledge, andwe need knowledge. But if you're
not gonna apply it, what's thepoint in in having it? And so
and you're gonna fail whenyou're trying new things. And
then the e in the system isembrace gratitude throughout
(24:43):
your journey because I thinkgratitude grounds and empowers.
And, you know, when you makegratitude because gratitude is
an instant shifter.
I think if you're having a badday or even a challenging
moment, if you think ofsomething you're grateful for,
it's an instant energy shift.
Cathy (25:03):
I can't tell you how many of our guests have said that
Patti Smith (25:07):
on this podcast.
Merry (25:09):
Pretty much every single one.
Patti Smith (25:11):
Well Because A lot. Yeah. Because what you focus on
expands, and what you ignorecontracts. Right? We know that.
So if you're focused ongratitude, every step of the
way, even when you're familylike, you you bring yourself
there, it's it literally is aninstant energy shift. And I
think you make that a habit, anda grateful attitude truly
(25:35):
becomes a grid through which youperceive life. Even if it's if
Merry (25:38):
there even if it's something very small that you're
grateful for, the belief Yeah.Of a little a bud on a flower.
Yeah.
Cathy (25:46):
We've had people say be grateful for running water in
your house. Yeah. Any any kindof thing like that that we never
think about. But when you zeroin on it, it shifts you a little
bit.
Patti Smith (26:00):
It does. It it is an instant energy shift. And I
think, you know, sometimespeople go, well, what if you've
just had you know, they'll bringup the worst scenarios of
somebody's life and all that.And it's like, you know what? If
you're breathing, you havesomething to be grateful for
because you have a shot atsomething.
Even if you're fullyhandicapped, look at the stories
of handicapped people that youknow, there was a story about, a
(26:22):
guy who played a guitar for thepope. This was years ago, and he
didn't have arms. And heliterally played it with his
toes. And it was such amarvelous story because I
thought, you know, you know,there's a, when you're taking
action, there's I always like tolook at it this way. What's one
(26:45):
thing you can do from where youare with what you have that will
move you forward.
Just what's one step. Could be aphone call. It could be, a
seminar. It could be, taking aclass. There's there's really
something you can do, and youdon't have to have it all
figured out.
And then the last step is unitewith the new self image. And
(27:08):
this one I added in before
Merry (27:10):
I was ask you about that because, why create a whole new
self image? So and how do you dothat?
Patti Smith (27:18):
Well, to me, I think that ties in the whole
idea of reinvention because, youknow, life is really a lively
process of becoming. Right?We're always becoming. I mean,
the the universe is a spiraluniverse. Right?
It's constantly nudging ustowards our full potential, and
our even our DNA is a spiral.You know? It's a spiral of
(27:41):
becomingness. You know? We'realways becoming that, you know,
that next best version if weallow ourselves to continue to
evolve.
And, you know, Maxwell Maltz, hewas a renowned plastic surgeon,
and then he wrote a book, PsychoCybernetics, and he really
studied the self image becausehe used to, you know, he used to
redefine people's faces, and alot of them were things with the
(28:05):
with the nose and all that, andhe said accidents, and he was
from the forties. And he wasmarveled at how some people you
know, he, you know, picks themup, and they would, you know,
suddenly feel amazing. You know,they didn't feel so bad anymore
that they looked great. And thenthere's other people he would do
the same thing. And what hefound is they would look at
(28:27):
themselves when he was done, andthey would say, I don't see any
difference.
Because they still viewedthemselves as, you know, having
some deformity even thoughphysically it was not there,
they still had the image. And soin their mind, they were still
(28:47):
broken somehow. And so he did hedid a great book he wrote called
psycho cybernetics, and he said,I love this. He said, you can
never outperform your own transyour your own self image, you
know, how you see yourself.Mhmm.
You can't outperform. No matterwhat people tell you, it's how
you believe, but you canabsolutely change it because you
(29:10):
who you believe yourself to beis who you become. It's really
you know, people can say, oh,you know, you're so smart.
You're so beautiful. You're sotalented.
But until you believe that foryourself, it doesn't matter.
Cathy (29:24):
Well, speaking of that, how do we break through mind
blocks, and how do we alignourselves with a vision driven
life and not get stuck likethat?
Patti Smith (29:35):
Well, to start off, we need to have goal to work
towards. Our our our our we'vebeen designed that way. We're
goal driven. So that's yourvision. What that's when you sit
in the, what would I love?
So you you wanna have somethingto work toward. And then get us
(29:56):
that's why I have that system. Ithink it's important to have at
least one person. It doesn'thave to be a whole group. At
least one or two people, and Icall them a partner in
believing.
You know? And whether it's amentor or somebody that you know
that will support you. Becausesometimes, you know, when we're
feeling a little challenge, ifyou've got that group or that
(30:18):
one person at least, they'rethere to help you, and you're
there to help them when they'renot feeling so great. Right? So
having some kind of a communityor at least a partner in
believing, and that's what, youknow, working with a coach can
look like.
But Mhmm. You know, plenty ofpeople are even in little
mastermind groups, and that'sreally what that's about is to
help each other out. I talkabout see, a lot of stuff is,
(30:41):
like, using your fear as fuel. Alot of times people stop because
they're, you know, they'redoubting and or they feel like
they're gonna look stupid orthey're afraid, right, of of who
knows what, but, you know, weget crazy in our mind with our
imagination. And I always liketo say just like reframe failure
(31:01):
as feedback.
I just say use your fear as fuelbecause most of the time, you
know, if you're in danger, thenwe're supposed to you know, our,
we you know, our immune systemshuts down. So we when you go
into fight or flight, and thatis to give you all the energy to
get out of harm's way. That'swhat happened, you know, in the
caveman times. Right?Something's chasing them.
(31:24):
But we aren't meant to livethere. And most things in life
are not a matter of life anddeath like that. They're in our
mind, and we put the fear. Andso I just say, unless you're in
grave danger, which is not thatoften, take whatever you're
afraid of and, you know, call itwhat it is. It's like, you know,
(31:46):
when I was in a coachingprogram, they said befriend your
fear.
So it's not like you're notgonna be afraid when you're
trying new things, but ratherchange the perception of what
you see fear is. It's like, youknow what? This is good news
because if I got some fear inme, then that means I'm heading
in the right direction becauseI'm pushing myself outside of my
(32:07):
comfort zone. So, you know, tonot be afraid of it, but rather
realize that it's telling youthat you're moving in the right
direction. And unless there'ssomething that's really a life
and death situation, which israre, It's just a matter of
taking fear and not using it asan excuse.
And I say Mhmm. You know, don'tbe a victim. Because when you're
(32:29):
a victim, you literally aregiving up. You're you're you're
using everything as an excuse.And rather than being you know,
you can either be on a hero'sjourney or a victim's journey.
Mhmm. And so and, you know, Iyou talked about Cathy, you were
talking about emptiness. Right?So when I wrote my book, AARP
(32:51):
called me, and they happened todo this article on empty
nesters. And so Oh.
It was interesting because whenit ended up being one of their
most read, downloaded, shareablearticles. The writer the woman
that wrote the article, sheinterviewed a few of us that had
written books that she thoughtapplied. But the thing she took
(33:12):
from mine, and I really believethis to be so true, whether
you're a parent, a grandparent,an aunt, or, you know, just the
younger generation looking atMhmm. You know, our generation
and and and and forward, you'rethey're looking at us. It's it's
not as much what we say whenthey're adults.
(33:34):
It's different when they'rekids. Yes. They listen to us,
but they're watching us. And I Ithought of that because I
recently became an empty nesterright when I was publishing my
book. And I thought, you knowwhat?
It's not what I say to mydaughter. She's watching me. And
I saw that because when I wrotemy book, I couldn't believe she
(33:54):
was shocked, and she startedlooking at me so different.
Merry (33:58):
She didn't know you were writing one.
Patti Smith (34:01):
She didn't. I told her I didn't tell her. And then
one day during COVID, she camein my room, and I'm like, I'm
trying to write the book. Thisfinish this book. And she goes,
you're doing what?
And I thought, oh, no. I have tofinish this now because I wanna
be a role model for her.
Merry (34:15):
Ah, a leader. You wanted to be a leader. Talk about that
a little bit. You brought it upearlier about what it means to
be a leader. So but how doesthat help us navigate to new
challenges ahead?
Patti Smith (34:28):
Well, you know, I look at being a leader, and I
think most people think, oh, aleader is somebody who's in
charge. Right? But I think justlike I brought up the story
about being the leading lady ofyour life or the leading man of
your life. If you think aboutit, we are all supposed to be
leaders of our own life. And Ithink the fund self leading
(34:50):
yourself is the foundation ofleadership because true leaders,
great leaders are good rolemodels.
Right? Mhmm. They walk theirtalk. There are those people
that say, I'm not gonna ask youto do anything that I haven't
done or I'm not willing to do.And I think in life, if we look
at the the the youngergeneration, I feel they're in
(35:13):
desperate need of more good rolemodels.
And Mhmm. Best way we can rolemodel to our kids, to our
grandkids, anybody around us, isby how we show up. And so to me,
that has been that is a constantreminder because, you know, when
when my sister passed away, youknow, we cared for her here. My
(35:34):
daughter was only seven. AndI'll never forget the day my
sister died, and I had mydaughter go to school.
We didn't tell her she died. Weclosed the bedroom door. And
when she came home from school,I sat her down. And I told her,
you know, that her aunt passedaway. You know, I couldn't
believe what this little sevenyear old said to me.
(35:54):
Her first words were she saidthis my daughter had my sister
had two kids. She said, mom,what are those kids gonna do
without their mother?
Merry (36:04):
Oh, gee.
Patti Smith (36:05):
And I thought, wow. I can't believe a seven year old
just said that to me. But Irealized that's what she was
looking at, and it really afterthat, it always got me thinking,
like, I wanna be the best rolemodel for her and for my niece
and nephew. I'm not gonna do doit perfectly, but I think we can
all be especially us that are inour second acts of life, some
(36:28):
way, shape, or form, how wetreat other people, how we move
forward with our lives. Youknow, our kids in in the next
generation, they watch us.
It's how we sail too. It's notbeing perfect. It's how do we
instill them how we navigateloss, how we navigate divorce,
how we navigate getting fired,or how we navigate, you know,
(36:50):
just being lost and trying tofigure it out. And to me, it's I
think that's why we need tocontinue to evolve and show them
how life is lots of differentseasons, and reinvention looks
different at all these differentplaces of our life. And that's,
to me, what ignites our heartand soul is what's gonna
(37:12):
continue to move us forward.
Because, you know, manyeverybody's got stories, and
some of them are not easy. Andwe go through seasons of
difficulty. And you either aregonna let your excuse lead you,
or you're going to let yourvision lead you. And I would say
that it's more fun living visiondriven than it is condition
(37:35):
driven.
Merry (37:37):
You know, you talked about fear and the power of fear
and using it to empower you.It's when people are afraid,
it's the least empowering thingever because they don't know
what to do, and they don't knowif they are facing something
that will ruin their lives orhave them move forward. What do
(37:57):
you say about that?
Patti Smith (37:59):
You know what? I would say, first of all, when
you first are challenged withsomething, allow yourself to
process it because you're human.You know? I mean, sometimes
you've gotta meet people. Like,even if you're talking to
somebody, you meet them wherethey're at because, you know,
you need to process an emotion,and you need to process going
through something.
(38:21):
But then I think there's thatpoint where you say, okay.
Enough. And, you know, you knowthat what's one thing I can do
from where I am with what Ihave? Maybe that one thing is I
can't do this on my own. Maybethat one thing is just reaching
out to somebody who you admireor who you think can at least
(38:42):
help you get out of thatheadspace so you can get to that
next place.
But at the end of the day, onlyyou can do that for yourself.
And that's why that's why,honestly, this idea of living
vision driven, if you've gotsomething that's pulling you
forward right? My dad lost thelove of his life. He was 87
(39:03):
years old. And then hisgranddaughter, he was 87.
You know, you can understand ifhe gave up. Right? Both of those
things going on. Yeah. He did itbecause he decided, okay.
If I'm on this earth, I'm gonnahave to if I wanna stay here,
then I've gotta move forward.And it really is about moving
(39:26):
forward, always forward. Youknow, my nephew who lost his
mom, he he got a tattoo on hisback, and it was always forward.
And he said that was to remindhim just that no matter what
happens, I can always moveforward. And that always stuff
Cathy (39:45):
But saying because you can't read a tattoo that's on
your own back.
Patti Smith (39:48):
I know. And yet, I think for him, it was about
pushing him forward. You know?Like, knowing that that was
there and that it will alwayspush him forward.
Cathy (40:01):
Really interesting.
Patti Smith (40:02):
I mean, at the end of the day, that's why I said it
is important to have somecommunity. And if you don't,
that's why you've gotta go outthere and look. If there's that
one person you can call, or, youknow, that's what sometimes
working with, like like I said,a coach would be is helping you
to get to that place. That's whyI I wrote the book. So people go
(40:26):
through a process.
I have questions at the end ofeach chapter along with where my
system is where you can startmaking notes of things that are
hitting you as you're readingthem and to get you out of that
headspace. Good idea. You'reeither gonna go forward or
backwards. The glass is halffull or half empty again. So do
you wanna put on, you know, avision driven lens and move
(40:51):
forward, or do you and you can'tstay still because what happens
with stagnant water.
Right? It starts getting yucky.And, I mean, we're meant to move
forward. We're energy. We'remeant to be moving, and we're
meant to continue to evolve.
And I call it your what's nextevolution because we're supposed
to be evolving till we take ournext breath. Let your curiosity
(41:13):
move you forward. Think aboutwhat is what are the things that
are just interesting? Go on awalk. You know, you get out in
nature, and it feels good.
Maybe exercise makes you feelgood. Try a class out. There's
so many there are so many thingsout there. Volunteer for
something that really touchesyour soul. You like animals.
(41:36):
Volunteer somewhere like that.You want like helping people.
There are so many opportunitiesout there. Get curious. You
don't have to have the answerlike this.
But I think we don't take timetake the time to really just
slow down and say, okay. Whatwould I love? I mean, just I
would say start with thatquestion. What would I love?
(41:58):
What are things that make mehappy?
Cathy (42:00):
Well, I was just gonna ask you what advice you'd give
our boomer audience
Merry (42:04):
and all the others as a takeaway today, and you just
gave several little bulletpoints. Anything else you wanna
leave them with to take overtakeaway?
Patti Smith (42:16):
You know, I would say this. No matter where you
are in life, no matter whatyou've been through or what
you're going through, youmatter. You know, I the very
beginning of my book starts withthat. You matter. Because if
(42:36):
you're on this earth and you'rebreathing, there's a reason.
And I feel like that we havewithin us the capacity to
continue to evolve in ways thatwe will feel the purpose and the
fulfillment that we're lookingfor, and we have to trust that.
(42:58):
But you've gotta get quiet.That's no one can answer that
question for you. No one canmake you happy because they're
not you. And to trust yourselfenough to know that you've got
the answers, the quality of yourlife is really determined by the
quality of question you'rewilling to ask, and you wanna
learn how to ask those kind ofquestions like, what would I
(43:21):
love?
Instead of complaining about,oh, how bad everything is or
how, you know, there's nothing,you know, more worth doing,
there's always something.There's something that will
light you up, but you make thedecision. Am I gonna be I would
just say this. Am I gonna bevision driven or condition
driven? Which way do I wannalive?
And if it's vision driven, thenstop the excuses. Another Sandra
(43:46):
Nancy quote.
Merry (43:47):
Mhmm.
Patti Smith (43:48):
When you lose your excuses, you find your results.
And, actually, if you're nothappy with your results, then
that kinda gives you a clue tohow you've been thinking. So you
know?
Merry (44:02):
Yeah. We've analyzed everything
we think about.
Patti Smith (44:05):
That's right.
Cathy (44:07):
We become our thoughts.
Merry (44:08):
We do. We we do become our thoughts.
Patti Smith (44:11):
What we think about. We really do. Yeah. I
mean, there's a whole we coulddo a whole another podcast about
that. But Yeah.
You know, at the end of the day,I just, you know, I I if if
anybody's interested in thebook, he's on Amazon.
Merry (44:26):
Further for our hold it up, father. There.
Patti Smith (44:30):
That's for ours. Amazon. And, or you could go to
my website, which isPattySmithCoaching.com. Patty's
with an I. And and and that'swhy I wrote the book.
So it's it's people just go, Idon't know where to begin. I
would just suggest get the book.
Merry (44:50):
That's great.
Patti Smith (44:50):
Go through the book and take notes in the book, and
the whole point is to get youstarted. That's why I wrote the
book.
Merry (44:56):
That's great. Thank you. You've given us such great
advice. Our guest today on lateboomers has been Patty Smith,
life success coach and author ofthe empowering book, what am I
to do now? And I won't go overthe rest of it unless you'd like
to, Patty.
You can reach Patty through herwebsite, PattySmithcoaching.com,
(45:19):
which is what she just told you,and that's Patty with an I, and
download her gift of 11 powerfulaffirmations that spark your
awesomeness factor. And, Patty,is there anything else you'd
like to say?
Patti Smith (45:33):
You know what? I just wanna dovetail on on the
awesomeness. I that's a word Iuse a lot, is awesome. And I
came up I used the wordawesomeness as an acronym. And
my idea, I think it's kind of myfashion background, was, you
know, every day when we get upin the morning and we get
(45:53):
dressed, right, you're thinkingabout what am I gonna wear, what
am I gonna put on.
And I thought, wouldn't it begreat to put your awesomeness on
every day? And the affirmations,I say, look at the awesomeness
creed and see what's speaking toyou and put that on before you
go out the door in the morning.
Merry (46:13):
Well, definitely That's good advice. Download her her
affirmations from her website,and you will be awesome every
day too. Right?
Cathy (46:22):
Yeah. And thank you for listening to our late boomers
podcast and subscribing to ourlate boomers podcast channel on
YouTube. Listen in next weekwhen you'll meet another
inspiring guest, JeffreyPeterson, who will tell us about
building a real estate empire,complete change of subject. You
can listen on any podcastplatform, and we do appreciate
(46:45):
you. Please follow us onInstagram at I am Kathy
Worthington and at I am MaryElkins and at late boomers.
Thanks again to Patty Smith.Patty with an I.
Patti Smith (46:58):
Thank you. Great to be with you guys and with your
audience too. I appreciate it.
Cathy (47:12):
Thank you for joining us on late boomers, the podcast
that is your guide to creating athird act with style, power, and
impact. Please visit our websiteand get in touch with us at late
boomers dot biz. If you wouldlike to listen to or download
other episodes of late boomers,go to ewnpodcastnetwork.com.
Merry (47:34):
This podcast is also available on Spotify, Apple
Podcast, and most other majorpodcast sites. We hope you make
use of the wisdom you've gainedhere and that you enjoy a
successful third act with yourown style, power, and impact.
This is the EWN Podcast Network.
Cathy (00:14):
Welcome to late boomers, our podcast guide to creating
your third act with style,power, and impact. Hi. I'm Cathy
Worthington.
Merry (00:24):
And I'm Merry Elkins. Join us as we bring you
conversations withentrepreneurs, entertainers, and
people with vision who aremaking a difference in the
world.
Cathy (00:34):
Everyone has a story, and we'll take you along for the
ride on each interview,recounting the journey our
guests have taken to get wherethey are, inspiring you to
create your own path to success.Let's get started.
Hello. I'm Cathy Worthington welcoming you to a
(00:55):
new episode of late boomers. I'mhere with my cohost, Merry
Elkins, and we are pleased tointroduce reinvention strategist
speaker and life success coach,Patty Smith, who will give
pointers on what to do when lifethrows us curveballs or when
we're stuck and really need tomove forward.
Merry (01:15):
And I'm Merry Elkins. Patty carved a path of success
in diverse industries from theworld of fashion and publishing
to health care, but a profoundloss sent her on a different
path to helping others. Herbook, what am I to do now?
Simple strategies to navigatethe unknown and ignite what's
(01:37):
next in your life, has helpedPatty guide countless people
through life's uncertainties.Welcome, Patti.
Patti Smith (01:45):
Great to be with you too.
Merry (01:46):
It's great to have you.
Cathy (01:49):
Please tell us about your journey and how you came to a
career in coaching othersthrough life's changes.
Patti Smith (01:58):
Yes. I'd love to. Well, I was I think I had talked
to you guys at a conference thatwe met at, and I was saying that
my journey when I was young,there were two things that
really pulled me. One wasfashion, and one was helping
people. So I started my firstjourney in the fashion industry
(02:18):
and eventually evolved to whereI am today, which is life
coaching and helping people.
So, I guess all that came fullcircle since I've been a little
girl. That's how I was pulled.But as far as, like, moving from
fashion to health care and theninto what I'm doing now, my
(02:39):
older sister was diagnosed withcancer and eventually moved to
terminal cancer. And that's whenI got out of the fashion and
luxury market and went to becomea full time caregiver for my
sister. She had two kids, andshe was divorced.
(02:59):
And, you know, our life changed,and, you know, everything
changed overnight. And it wasshe lived with us for about
eight months, and, we had herkids part time. And then when
she passed away, something justreally shifted in me, and I just
knew I had to move forward in adifferent way. And I was really
(03:22):
pulled. I think I was in thatworld of health care for almost
a year, and I just, you know, Ijust learned so much, and I was
really pulled to advocacy.
I didn't know what I was gonnado. I mean, I came from the
fashion background, so healthcare was a brand new territory.
But I just felt really called,and I got I jumped in. I started
(03:46):
networking, and I eventuallylanded at, a few different
places, but I landed at anentrepreneurial company. And it
just it was the right place atthe right time, and I just felt,
that was my next.
And what was interesting was, asI as I thought that this was my
next for a long time, within twoyears, our CEO went rogue, and I
(04:11):
had to shut down the company.And it's what propelled me to
really go into I embarked on ajourney of self discovery really
deeply after that, and, that'swhat took me into personal
development. I went to apersonal development event, and,
that's when my whole worldopened up, and I realized that's
(04:35):
where I was meant to be forhelping people. And so here I am
today. So I've reinvented myselfmany, many times.
Throughout there, there's littlestories, and I talk about them
in my book, but I feel likewe're constantly evolving. And I
feel like that question ofwhat's next as we navigate
(04:55):
seasons in our life, some mightbe planned. A lot of them are
unexpected, and it I think if westay open and curious, we're
supposed to be evolving till wetake our last breath.
Cathy (05:06):
Well, that's interesting. Because so many people that
we're all evolving don't followthe next step, or they don't
move to something new. And youkind of followed how you were
being called, and most peopleignore that little voice.
Merry (05:22):
Your in insight and your intuition. But but and and I was
actually going to ask you alittle bit about your book
because you have such greatquotes in it. And I remember the
one that, Ella Fitzgerald said,but, which she said it's not
where you come from, it's whereyou're going that counts. And on
(05:42):
that topic of what's next, goahead and tell us what you think
it is. What does it look like?
How do we know?
Patti Smith (05:52):
You know, I think, you know, it's interesting. I as
a speaker, I talk on reinventionand self leadership. And, you
know, I feel like we need to beleaders of our own lives. And
there's a there's a story that Ilove to tell. It's from a movie.
It's one of my favorite holidaymovies, and it's called the
holiday. And it's where a womanthat's I don't know if you guys
(06:14):
are familiar with it. KateWinslet is in it. And her and
Cameron Diaz switch homes forthe holidays. One's in England
and one's in Yeah.
LA, and it's because they'reboth going through broken
hearts. And so Kate Winslet isin Beverly Hills, and she ends
up meeting the neighbor who's anOscar winning writer. They're
having dinner, and, you know,he's talking about her woes of,
(06:37):
you know, why she's there. Andhe I love this line. He says,
Iris, in the movies, we have theleading lady and the best
friend.
You, can tell her leading lady,but for some reason, you're
behaving like the best friend.And she looks at him, and she
says, you're right. You'resupposed to be the leading lady
of your own life. And I justlove that because I think we're
(06:58):
supposed to be leaders of ourown life, and that constantly
changes and evolves. Andsometimes it's, you know, like,
we go through divorce or we haveloss, and we are meant to
continue to navigate that.
And I think if we stay curious,like, I have a seven step system
called Ignite You. I use theacronym Ignite You.
Merry (07:20):
We're gonna ask you all about that.
Patti Smith (07:23):
Yes. Well, the first is about imagination, and
I think, you know, when we'reimagination is a powerful tool.
But when we're young, we use itthe way we're supposed to, which
is in service of what we wouldlove. And I think when as we get
on in life and experiencethings, we use it more to
terrorize ourselves of all ofthe, oh, no. Yeah.
(07:45):
Yeah. It paralyzes us versususing it to inspire and ignite
us. And so, I think it's reallygoing back to when you were a
kid and, you know, the world wasyour oyster. And even though we
have different seasons and itlooks different, throughout
those different seasons and thereasons why. And sometimes it's
(08:05):
just because we're bored, and,you know, maybe we retired, and
it's like we didn't think aboutwhat was next, or maybe we've
suffered something reallydifficult.
But as long as we're breathing,we're supposed to be evolving.
And I I wanna bring up onestory, because it really was
profound for me, and it when itwent on while I was in the
(08:28):
middle of writing my book, andit's a story about my dad. My
dad was 87 years old when my mompassed away, and it was fairly
quickly. It was within a year ofwe're going into early stage
dementia and then late stagedementia. And my mom was the
social calendar.
My mom was the the one who wasyou know, she did the cooking,
(08:50):
and my dad did other things. Hekinda had an adventurous spirit,
but he was more extrovert. Hewas more introvert. So when my
mom passed, I mean, they hadjust celebrated sixty years
together. And he was I havenever seen my dad, this strong
man, so heartbroken.
(09:10):
I mean, he was. My sister and Iwere like, woah. And three weeks
after my mom passed, mybrother's daughter who had was
about to graduate from collegethe next year, three weeks after
my mom died, she was killed in atragic accident. Oh. And my dad
(09:31):
was like, first of all, allfamily was devastated.
You know, we we're at a funeralthree weeks after my mom's, but
my dad's like, I don't even knowwhat I'm gonna do with this
because I haven't processed yourmom. And my younger sister and I
are like, he's not gonna makeit. And what was interesting is
within a few months, he calledme because he lives in Michigan.
I'm in LA. But he said, Patty,I've made it.
(09:52):
This is at 87. I've made adecision. I can sit here and
feel sorry for myself and makeexcuses and just wait to die, or
I can, and these are his words,reinvent myself. And I've made a
decision to reinvent myself. AndI was like, okay.
What's this simple clack? Imean, who is this man? Yeah.
Cathy (10:15):
And who took my dad?
Merry (10:16):
Where'd my dad go?
Patti Smith (10:18):
Well and, you know, like, we all have different
seasons of what maybe areinvention is. But for him, at
that point, you know what thatlooks like for him? Because it's
he was outside of his comfortzone, and that's where that
reinvention occurs. You knowwhat he did? He pulled out my
mom's recipe book, and heliterally started to teach
himself how to cook.
(10:39):
And he my mom would not believethat. But he would and then he
started, you know, oh, don'tcare if it doesn't turn out.
I'll try it again. And then hestarted making different things.
He's bringing it to church, andthe women at church love.
Oh, here's the lemon blueberrybread that Don made, and he just
was got him engaged. And thenanother thing he did, which was
so uncomfortable, my motheralways wanted him to volunteer
(11:02):
at church, and he said, that isnot for me. That's for you. He
started volunteering at church.And it was not easy, but he said
if he did not put himself aroundcommunity with his personality,
it would be easy to very muchcontract.
And so to see somebody whosuffered two losses so close
(11:23):
that within months, literallymake a decision where he just
you know, this is what I'mdoing. He put himself out there,
and he didn't know what he wasdoing. But I mean
Merry (11:35):
At 87. Yeah.
Patti Smith (11:37):
Yeah. And he's introverted. So I I mean, I
literally was blown away, and itwas just another you know, it
just showed me that it really isa choice. You know? You you
always have a decision whenthings happen or when we feel
like we're not like, a lot oftimes people I think, women
(11:58):
sometimes as in our second actand and say we're even working
or involved in work, we startgetting even if we're very
accomplished, you you startfeeling stagnant, like, what's
missing?
And I think that we go from youknow, we we're searching for
purpose and fulfillment, and sowe're looking more for purpose
driven success in our second actrather than just focusing on,
(12:22):
you know, success like when
Cathy (12:24):
you're younger than I wanted to ask you about that
because boomers often faceuncertainty about what to do
after retirement, or perhapsthey're experiencing empty nests
or or health issues. So how dowe shift our mindsets and move
forward?
Patti Smith (12:43):
You know, the very last chapter in my book, I talk
about living vision drivenversus condition driven. And the
very first thing that, when Iwork I work a lot with women,
and the very first thing I askthem, but this this applies to
men and women as my book does,is what would you love? Not what
(13:06):
do you think you can have orwhat sounds practical, but,
like, what pulls you? And it'snot necessarily always like it's
gotta be a career or it could bephilanthropy. What what kind of
things touch your heart?
Or maybe there's hobbies, likeyou love painting, but it's not
something you've done in awhile. Or maybe there's
something something new. It'sit's really about coming back to
(13:29):
when you were a kid saying,what's something that interests
me? And, you know, start and notbeing afraid of it's gotta be
you know, I've gotta be good atit. It's you think about it,
life is about learning.
And, you know, reef like, I themindset piece is is so important
because we learn by doing. Andthink about it. When you try
(13:52):
something new, it's probablyyou're gonna fail first. And so
what? We learned to walk byfalling down.
Feedback. Right? We didn't knocksome walkers. We didn't know
anybody. We just kept tryinguntil we walked.
We learned to drive by trial anderror. You've kept failing, and
but you wanna have thatindependence and freedom so bad
(14:13):
that you're willing to getthrough being afraid. And
Cathy (14:18):
Yeah.
Patti Smith (14:18):
I think when you go after when I say vision driven,
that's looking at what ignitesyour heart and soul versus
looking at your conditionsaround you. Like, oh, I'm too
old. Oh, I'm not feel great.Like, it's it's wherever you
focus, where your attentiongoes, energy flows. And if
you're always looking at Oh.
(14:39):
Why you can't, then you won't.But if you're looking at it from
the eyes like a kid, beingcurious, it is amazing what you
can do. And I really believethat you were just getting
started, women in their secondact. Mhmm. Because I think, you
know, if you have a family oreven aging parents, you know,
(15:03):
life becomes about you'restretching yourself so much.
And I think once your kids getolder and or and maybe you're
not working the grind like youwere before, so much can open up
for you, but you've gotta staycurious and and and really get
clear with what you would love.You know, it's funny when I work
(15:23):
with women, and the first thingI'll ask them is, you know, so
what is it that you're lookingfor? You know, what would you I
love saying what would you lovebecause it's different than what
would you like. And you knowwhat they always tell me? Every
time, they tell me what theydon't want.
And that wasn't the question. Itwas what would you love?
Cathy (15:43):
That is not
Patti Smith (15:43):
the question. Yeah. We know what we don't want, but
have we spent much time? Andwhen I'm when when I keep okay.
We know what you don't want.
And when I keep, you know, backinto that question, you know
what? Lots of times happens. Iwas blown away when I first
started working with women, butthen it became kinda normal. I
don't care what kind ofpersonality they have. Almost
(16:06):
every time, there's some kind oftears, and they're like, I can't
believe why am I crying?
And I'm like, because you'retouching a part of yourself that
you haven't let yourself Mhmm.You know, connect within a long
time at that level. And, youknow, that's what I'm passionate
about is, you know, justigniting that aliveness in you
(16:28):
and just going for it because wedon't know how long we have. You
know? I lost my niece at 21, mysister at 50, and my mom at 82.
So we don't know when our lastbreath is. And and so that's why
I say, if you make it a habit ofliving vision driven, letting
your vision of what you'recurious and what lights you up
(16:50):
pull you rather than yourconditions. And the more you
make that a habit, the more itwill become a habit. And that's
looking at the glass fuller halfempty in concept.
Merry (16:59):
Ah, that's interesting. Well, talk about you mentioned
it a little earlier, the dreambuilder and the seven step
ignite you system that helpspeople brighten their lives up.
They talk about these systemsand how can they help us define
our goals and our needs further.
Patti Smith (17:20):
Sure. Yeah. The the system that I take people
through, and and it's in mybook, it's called I've used the
acronym IGNITE and then theletter u. And it's really to
because that's the question is,okay. How do I even begin?
Right? I haven't even thoughtlike that in a long time or
maybe something that reallypulled you into not a easy like
(17:42):
a great place, it's just hard toget motivated. Right? And so I
take them through the steps. Andthe first is and I won't get
heavily into it, but just tokinda go through them.
First is inspire yourimagination, and that's what
I've been talking about. Youknow? What would you love? What
turns you on? What what is justinteresting for you?
And even think back to thingsthat maybe you haven't done in a
(18:04):
while, but things that made youhappy, things that just sparked
the you know, you know, gets youputs you up in the morning, put
it that way. Right? Because yourimagination is really what is
the beginning of what fuelstransformation. And then the
second is get clear with whatyou want and why. And that's
because clarity is power, andspecificity is key because we
(18:29):
need to be specific about whatwe would love.
You know? Use the Internet as anexample. If you're looking up a
good restaurant, right, and ifyou just put a nice restaurant
in Los Angeles, tons ofrestaurants will show up. Then
if you say a good Italianrestaurant. What if you said a
(18:49):
good Italian restaurant thatserves gluten free pasta and is
in West Hills, California?
The list gets a lot clearer andmore succinct. And that's why
when people say, I wanna behappy, well, what does that
mean? And I like to say, look atit like a photograph when you
went on vacation. You had lotsof memories, but you can look at
(19:12):
a photograph and you remember,oh, I was in this place, and I
was feeling this way. And, youknow, maybe you were you were
with a significant other or witha bunch of girlfriends or
whatever it is, and you describethe photograph.
That's when I get get specificabout what would be an idea of
something that would fill you upand be specific. Because when
(19:33):
you're specific, then whenyou're wanting to take actions,
you're clear with where that isbecause we need to have a
direction, you know, a visionthat pulls you. And then
Cathy (19:43):
So these are these are how the steps work and how we're
connecting with them.
Patti Smith (19:49):
Yeah. Use your imagination and then get clear.
Okay. What kinds of things wouldyou love? And then let me zone
in on what are the things thatreally light me up, and let me
be specific.
Like, what is a happy day looklike for you? Or what would be,
you know, in in the year, whatwould what's something I would
love to be doing? You know?Maybe it's writing a book. Maybe
it's painting.
(20:10):
Who knows what it is? Maybeit's, you know, getting involved
in philanthropy. Well, whatkinds of things touch your
heart? Get really specific. Andthen, you know, the why is,
well, why is it important toyou?
Because when you have a strongwhy, it grounds you. When you're
moving forward with your vision,the why is what will keep you
grounded when maybe you getdistracted or maybe, you know,
(20:33):
you've mentioned something aboutit to somebody, and they're
like, what are you are youcrazy? I'm too old for that. But
if you know why something'simportant to you, that's gonna
be your anchor. So that's thesecond step.
And then the third is nail downyour decision to go for it. Like
when I shared the story about mydad, he made a decision because
decision, you know, leads toprogress, and it's putting your
(20:57):
stake in the ground andcommitting. I am doing this.
And, you know, I'm closing theback door and maybe and it's
happening. I don't know how it'sgonna happen, but it's gonna
happen.
Because I think people getcaught up in how, and when they
can't answer how, they give up.You put the how on hold, because
you don't need to know how. Youjust need to know what, and then
(21:20):
that you know, then we'll leadinto the action. So, the the
decision is is important onceyou're clear. And then once
you're moving forward with yourdecision, the next is invite and
support of like minded peopleand mentors.
And this is where community andmentorship are so important. You
know, Sandra Yancey, we all knowher. She's the CEO of p women.
(21:45):
She has this quote, and I loveit. She says, your dream comes
from inside you.
Your success comes from who'sbeside you. Oh. And that always
makes me tear up because she sheone of one of the one of her
made pullers, her values is andit's my favorite one with Did
(22:06):
You Climb. And I love thatbecause, you know, we can only
do so much on our own, But whenyou have support, when you have
a community, you can movemountains. And, it's just so
important to be around peoplethat are going to maybe help you
stay accountable because it'shard to see the picture when
(22:26):
you're in your own frame, right,of your life.
Mhmm. You want the support ofaccountability, but yet people
that help you, you know, supportyou in moving forward, and
they're not telling you, oh,you're too old, or who do you
think you are? You're noteducated enough. You know,
they're they're there to supportyou because they see how it
lights you up. So that's I thinksupport really helps.
(22:48):
You know, success grows withsupport. It really does. And
then t is take inspired actionevery day because nothing
happens unless you act. And Iwill quote, Sandra again. She
takes the acronym ACT, andaction changes things, and it's
so true.
And that's where, you know, Iwas telling you guys, we learn
(23:09):
by doing. And, you know, don'tbe afraid to fail and reframe
failure's feedback. And JohnMaxwell, I have this quote in my
book. You know the quote,sometimes you win, sometimes you
learn? He says, sometimes youwin, sometimes you like,
sometimes you win, sometimes youlose is the quote.
He says sometimes you win,sometimes you learn. And I love
(23:32):
that because evolution orevolving is always about
learning. And we're gonna trynew things, and it's exciting,
but it's okay if we look foolishdoing it. I mean, that's that's
Yeah.
Cathy (23:44):
What that's what They always tell us to frame our
failures as learning experienceas Absolutely. You're learning
when you fail, and you're notlearning when you don't
Merry (23:53):
And winning too. It's a learning experience. What could
I have done a little better evenif you win?
Patti Smith (24:00):
Well and I think sometimes people like, when I'm
working with people with, youknow, making changes and moving
and growing, you you you can besometimes people get so stuck in
the learning. Like, they'realways reading things and going
to seminars and all this. Butuntil you apply what you're
learning, it's you know, I thinkit's Einstein that has a quote,
(24:22):
that knowledge really, comesfrom experience. I mean,
knowledge is okay. It's nice.
It's good to have knowledge, andwe need knowledge. But if you're
not gonna apply it, what's thepoint in in having it? And so
and you're gonna fail whenyou're trying new things. And
then the e in the system isembrace gratitude throughout
(24:43):
your journey because I thinkgratitude grounds and empowers.
And, you know, when you makegratitude because gratitude is
an instant shifter.
I think if you're having a badday or even a challenging
moment, if you think ofsomething you're grateful for,
it's an instant energy shift.
Cathy (25:03):
I can't tell you how many of our guests have said that
Patti Smith (25:07):
on this podcast.
Merry (25:09):
Pretty much every single one.
Patti Smith (25:11):
Well Because A lot. Yeah. Because what you focus on
expands, and what you ignorecontracts. Right? We know that.
So if you're focused ongratitude, every step of the
way, even when you're familylike, you you bring yourself
there, it's it literally is aninstant energy shift. And I
think you make that a habit, anda grateful attitude truly
(25:35):
becomes a grid through which youperceive life. Even if it's if
Merry (25:38):
there even if it's something very small that you're
grateful for, the belief Yeah.Of a little a bud on a flower.
Yeah.
Cathy (25:46):
We've had people say be grateful for running water in
your house. Yeah. Any any kindof thing like that that we never
think about. But when you zeroin on it, it shifts you a little
bit.
Patti Smith (26:00):
It does. It it is an instant energy shift. And I
think, you know, sometimespeople go, well, what if you've
just had you know, they'll bringup the worst scenarios of
somebody's life and all that.And it's like, you know what? If
you're breathing, you havesomething to be grateful for
because you have a shot atsomething.
Even if you're fullyhandicapped, look at the stories
of handicapped people that youknow, there was a story about, a
(26:22):
guy who played a guitar for thepope. This was years ago, and he
didn't have arms. And heliterally played it with his
toes. And it was such amarvelous story because I
thought, you know, you know,there's a, when you're taking
action, there's I always like tolook at it this way. What's one
(26:45):
thing you can do from where youare with what you have that will
move you forward.
Just what's one step. Could be aphone call. It could be, a
seminar. It could be, taking aclass. There's there's really
something you can do, and youdon't have to have it all
figured out.
And then the last step is unitewith the new self image. And
(27:08):
this one I added in before
Merry (27:10):
I was ask you about that because, why create a whole new
self image? So and how do you dothat?
Patti Smith (27:18):
Well, to me, I think that ties in the whole
idea of reinvention because, youknow, life is really a lively
process of becoming. Right?We're always becoming. I mean,
the the universe is a spiraluniverse. Right?
It's constantly nudging ustowards our full potential, and
our even our DNA is a spiral.You know? It's a spiral of
(27:41):
becomingness. You know? We'realways becoming that, you know,
that next best version if weallow ourselves to continue to
evolve.
And, you know, Maxwell Maltz, hewas a renowned plastic surgeon,
and then he wrote a book, PsychoCybernetics, and he really
studied the self image becausehe used to, you know, he used to
redefine people's faces, and alot of them were things with the
(28:05):
with the nose and all that, andhe said accidents, and he was
from the forties. And he wasmarveled at how some people you
know, he, you know, picks themup, and they would, you know,
suddenly feel amazing. You know,they didn't feel so bad anymore
that they looked great. And thenthere's other people he would do
the same thing. And what hefound is they would look at
(28:27):
themselves when he was done, andthey would say, I don't see any
difference.
Because they still viewedthemselves as, you know, having
some deformity even thoughphysically it was not there,
they still had the image. And soin their mind, they were still
(28:47):
broken somehow. And so he did hedid a great book he wrote called
psycho cybernetics, and he said,I love this. He said, you can
never outperform your own transyour your own self image, you
know, how you see yourself.Mhmm.
You can't outperform. No matterwhat people tell you, it's how
you believe, but you canabsolutely change it because you
(29:10):
who you believe yourself to beis who you become. It's really
you know, people can say, oh,you know, you're so smart.
You're so beautiful. You're sotalented.
But until you believe that foryourself, it doesn't matter.
Cathy (29:24):
Well, speaking of that, how do we break through mind
blocks, and how do we alignourselves with a vision driven
life and not get stuck likethat?
Patti Smith (29:35):
Well, to start off, we need to have goal to work
towards. Our our our our we'vebeen designed that way. We're
goal driven. So that's yourvision. What that's when you sit
in the, what would I love?
So you you wanna have somethingto work toward. And then get us
(29:56):
that's why I have that system. Ithink it's important to have at
least one person. It doesn'thave to be a whole group. At
least one or two people, and Icall them a partner in
believing.
You know? And whether it's amentor or somebody that you know
that will support you. Becausesometimes, you know, when we're
feeling a little challenge, ifyou've got that group or that
(30:18):
one person at least, they'rethere to help you, and you're
there to help them when they'renot feeling so great. Right? So
having some kind of a communityor at least a partner in
believing, and that's what, youknow, working with a coach can
look like.
But Mhmm. You know, plenty ofpeople are even in little
mastermind groups, and that'sreally what that's about is to
help each other out. I talkabout see, a lot of stuff is,
(30:41):
like, using your fear as fuel. Alot of times people stop because
they're, you know, they'redoubting and or they feel like
they're gonna look stupid orthey're afraid, right, of of who
knows what, but, you know, weget crazy in our mind with our
imagination. And I always liketo say just like reframe failure
(31:01):
as feedback.
I just say use your fear as fuelbecause most of the time, you
know, if you're in danger, thenwe're supposed to you know, our,
we you know, our immune systemshuts down. So we when you go
into fight or flight, and thatis to give you all the energy to
get out of harm's way. That'swhat happened, you know, in the
caveman times. Right?Something's chasing them.
(31:24):
But we aren't meant to livethere. And most things in life
are not a matter of life anddeath like that. They're in our
mind, and we put the fear. Andso I just say, unless you're in
grave danger, which is not thatoften, take whatever you're
afraid of and, you know, call itwhat it is. It's like, you know,
(31:46):
when I was in a coachingprogram, they said befriend your
fear.
So it's not like you're notgonna be afraid when you're
trying new things, but ratherchange the perception of what
you see fear is. It's like, youknow what? This is good news
because if I got some fear inme, then that means I'm heading
in the right direction becauseI'm pushing myself outside of my
(32:07):
comfort zone. So, you know, tonot be afraid of it, but rather
realize that it's telling youthat you're moving in the right
direction. And unless there'ssomething that's really a life
and death situation, which israre, It's just a matter of
taking fear and not using it asan excuse.
And I say Mhmm. You know, don'tbe a victim. Because when you're
(32:29):
a victim, you literally aregiving up. You're you're you're
using everything as an excuse.And rather than being you know,
you can either be on a hero'sjourney or a victim's journey.
Mhmm. And so and, you know, Iyou talked about Cathy, you were
talking about emptiness. Right?So when I wrote my book, AARP
(32:51):
called me, and they happened todo this article on empty
nesters. And so Oh.
It was interesting because whenit ended up being one of their
most read, downloaded, shareablearticles. The writer the woman
that wrote the article, sheinterviewed a few of us that had
written books that she thoughtapplied. But the thing she took
(33:12):
from mine, and I really believethis to be so true, whether
you're a parent, a grandparent,an aunt, or, you know, just the
younger generation looking atMhmm. You know, our generation
and and and and forward, you'rethey're looking at us. It's it's
not as much what we say whenthey're adults.
(33:34):
It's different when they'rekids. Yes. They listen to us,
but they're watching us. And I Ithought of that because I
recently became an empty nesterright when I was publishing my
book. And I thought, you knowwhat?
It's not what I say to mydaughter. She's watching me. And
I saw that because when I wrotemy book, I couldn't believe she
(33:54):
was shocked, and she startedlooking at me so different.
Merry (33:58):
She didn't know you were writing one.
Patti Smith (34:01):
She didn't. I told her I didn't tell her. And then
one day during COVID, she camein my room, and I'm like, I'm
trying to write the book. Thisfinish this book. And she goes,
you're doing what?
And I thought, oh, no. I have tofinish this now because I wanna
be a role model for her.
Merry (34:15):
Ah, a leader. You wanted to be a leader. Talk about that
a little bit. You brought it upearlier about what it means to
be a leader. So but how doesthat help us navigate to new
challenges ahead?
Patti Smith (34:28):
Well, you know, I look at being a leader, and I
think most people think, oh, aleader is somebody who's in
charge. Right? But I think justlike I brought up the story
about being the leading lady ofyour life or the leading man of
your life. If you think aboutit, we are all supposed to be
leaders of our own life. And Ithink the fund self leading
(34:50):
yourself is the foundation ofleadership because true leaders,
great leaders are good rolemodels.
Right? Mhmm. They walk theirtalk. There are those people
that say, I'm not gonna ask youto do anything that I haven't
done or I'm not willing to do.And I think in life, if we look
at the the the youngergeneration, I feel they're in
(35:13):
desperate need of more good rolemodels.
And Mhmm. Best way we can rolemodel to our kids, to our
grandkids, anybody around us, isby how we show up. And so to me,
that has been that is a constantreminder because, you know, when
when my sister passed away, youknow, we cared for her here. My
(35:34):
daughter was only seven. AndI'll never forget the day my
sister died, and I had mydaughter go to school.
We didn't tell her she died. Weclosed the bedroom door. And
when she came home from school,I sat her down. And I told her,
you know, that her aunt passedaway. You know, I couldn't
believe what this little sevenyear old said to me.
(35:54):
Her first words were she saidthis my daughter had my sister
had two kids. She said, mom,what are those kids gonna do
without their mother?
Merry (36:04):
Oh, gee.
Patti Smith (36:05):
And I thought, wow. I can't believe a seven year old
just said that to me. But Irealized that's what she was
looking at, and it really afterthat, it always got me thinking,
like, I wanna be the best rolemodel for her and for my niece
and nephew. I'm not gonna do doit perfectly, but I think we can
all be especially us that are inour second acts of life, some
(36:28):
way, shape, or form, how wetreat other people, how we move
forward with our lives. Youknow, our kids in in the next
generation, they watch us.
It's how we sail too. It's notbeing perfect. It's how do we
instill them how we navigateloss, how we navigate divorce,
how we navigate getting fired,or how we navigate, you know,
(36:50):
just being lost and trying tofigure it out. And to me, it's I
think that's why we need tocontinue to evolve and show them
how life is lots of differentseasons, and reinvention looks
different at all these differentplaces of our life. And that's,
to me, what ignites our heartand soul is what's gonna
(37:12):
continue to move us forward.
Because, you know, manyeverybody's got stories, and
some of them are not easy. Andwe go through seasons of
difficulty. And you either aregonna let your excuse lead you,
or you're going to let yourvision lead you. And I would say
that it's more fun living visiondriven than it is condition
(37:35):
driven.
Merry (37:37):
You know, you talked about fear and the power of fear
and using it to empower you.It's when people are afraid,
it's the least empowering thingever because they don't know
what to do, and they don't knowif they are facing something
that will ruin their lives orhave them move forward. What do
(37:57):
you say about that?
Patti Smith (37:59):
You know what? I would say, first of all, when
you first are challenged withsomething, allow yourself to
process it because you're human.You know? I mean, sometimes
you've gotta meet people. Like,even if you're talking to
somebody, you meet them wherethey're at because, you know,
you need to process an emotion,and you need to process going
through something.
(38:21):
But then I think there's thatpoint where you say, okay.
Enough. And, you know, you knowthat what's one thing I can do
from where I am with what Ihave? Maybe that one thing is I
can't do this on my own. Maybethat one thing is just reaching
out to somebody who you admireor who you think can at least
(38:42):
help you get out of thatheadspace so you can get to that
next place.
But at the end of the day, onlyyou can do that for yourself.
And that's why that's why,honestly, this idea of living
vision driven, if you've gotsomething that's pulling you
forward right? My dad lost thelove of his life. He was 87
(39:03):
years old. And then hisgranddaughter, he was 87.
You know, you can understand ifhe gave up. Right? Both of those
things going on. Yeah. He did itbecause he decided, okay.
If I'm on this earth, I'm gonnahave to if I wanna stay here,
then I've gotta move forward.And it really is about moving
(39:26):
forward, always forward. Youknow, my nephew who lost his
mom, he he got a tattoo on hisback, and it was always forward.
And he said that was to remindhim just that no matter what
happens, I can always moveforward. And that always stuff
Cathy (39:45):
But saying because you can't read a tattoo that's on
your own back.
Patti Smith (39:48):
I know. And yet, I think for him, it was about
pushing him forward. You know?Like, knowing that that was
there and that it will alwayspush him forward.
Cathy (40:01):
Really interesting.
Patti Smith (40:02):
I mean, at the end of the day, that's why I said it
is important to have somecommunity. And if you don't,
that's why you've gotta go outthere and look. If there's that
one person you can call, or, youknow, that's what sometimes
working with, like like I said,a coach would be is helping you
to get to that place. That's whyI I wrote the book. So people go
(40:26):
through a process.
I have questions at the end ofeach chapter along with where my
system is where you can startmaking notes of things that are
hitting you as you're readingthem and to get you out of that
headspace. Good idea. You'reeither gonna go forward or
backwards. The glass is halffull or half empty again. So do
you wanna put on, you know, avision driven lens and move
(40:51):
forward, or do you and you can'tstay still because what happens
with stagnant water.
Right? It starts getting yucky.And, I mean, we're meant to move
forward. We're energy. We'remeant to be moving, and we're
meant to continue to evolve.
And I call it your what's nextevolution because we're supposed
to be evolving till we take ournext breath. Let your curiosity
(41:13):
move you forward. Think aboutwhat is what are the things that
are just interesting? Go on awalk. You know, you get out in
nature, and it feels good.
Maybe exercise makes you feelgood. Try a class out. There's
so many there are so many thingsout there. Volunteer for
something that really touchesyour soul. You like animals.
(41:36):
Volunteer somewhere like that.You want like helping people.
There are so many opportunitiesout there. Get curious. You
don't have to have the answerlike this.
But I think we don't take timetake the time to really just
slow down and say, okay. Whatwould I love? I mean, just I
would say start with thatquestion. What would I love?
(41:58):
What are things that make mehappy?
Cathy (42:00):
Well, I was just gonna ask you what advice you'd give
our boomer audience
Merry (42:04):
and all the others as a takeaway today, and you just
gave several little bulletpoints. Anything else you wanna
leave them with to take overtakeaway?
Patti Smith (42:16):
You know, I would say this. No matter where you
are in life, no matter whatyou've been through or what
you're going through, youmatter. You know, I the very
beginning of my book starts withthat. You matter. Because if
(42:36):
you're on this earth and you'rebreathing, there's a reason.
And I feel like that we havewithin us the capacity to
continue to evolve in ways thatwe will feel the purpose and the
fulfillment that we're lookingfor, and we have to trust that.
(42:58):
But you've gotta get quiet.That's no one can answer that
question for you. No one canmake you happy because they're
not you. And to trust yourselfenough to know that you've got
the answers, the quality of yourlife is really determined by the
quality of question you'rewilling to ask, and you wanna
learn how to ask those kind ofquestions like, what would I
(43:21):
love?
Instead of complaining about,oh, how bad everything is or
how, you know, there's nothing,you know, more worth doing,
there's always something.There's something that will
light you up, but you make thedecision. Am I gonna be I would
just say this. Am I gonna bevision driven or condition
driven? Which way do I wannalive?
And if it's vision driven, thenstop the excuses. Another Sandra
(43:46):
Nancy quote.
Merry (43:47):
Mhmm.
Patti Smith (43:48):
When you lose your excuses, you find your results.
And, actually, if you're nothappy with your results, then
that kinda gives you a clue tohow you've been thinking. So you
know?
Merry (44:02):
Yeah. We've analyzed everything
we think about.
Patti Smith (44:05):
That's right.
Cathy (44:07):
We become our thoughts.
Merry (44:08):
We do. We we do become our thoughts.
Patti Smith (44:11):
What we think about. We really do. Yeah. I
mean, there's a whole we coulddo a whole another podcast about
that. But Yeah.
You know, at the end of the day,I just, you know, I I if if
anybody's interested in thebook, he's on Amazon.
Merry (44:26):
Further for our hold it up, father. There.
Patti Smith (44:30):
That's for ours. Amazon. And, or you could go to
my website, which isPattySmithCoaching.com. Patty's
with an I. And and and that'swhy I wrote the book.
So it's it's people just go, Idon't know where to begin. I
would just suggest get the book.
Merry (44:50):
That's great.
Patti Smith (44:50):
Go through the book and take notes in the book, and
the whole point is to get youstarted. That's why I wrote the
book.
Merry (44:56):
That's great. Thank you. You've given us such great
advice. Our guest today on lateboomers has been Patty Smith,
life success coach and author ofthe empowering book, what am I
to do now? And I won't go overthe rest of it unless you'd like
to, Patty.
You can reach Patty through herwebsite, PattySmithcoaching.com,
(45:19):
which is what she just told you,and that's Patty with an I, and
download her gift of 11 powerfulaffirmations that spark your
awesomeness factor. And, Patty,is there anything else you'd
like to say?
Patti Smith (45:33):
You know what? I just wanna dovetail on on the
awesomeness. I that's a word Iuse a lot, is awesome. And I
came up I used the wordawesomeness as an acronym. And
my idea, I think it's kind of myfashion background, was, you
know, every day when we get upin the morning and we get
(45:53):
dressed, right, you're thinkingabout what am I gonna wear, what
am I gonna put on.
And I thought, wouldn't it begreat to put your awesomeness on
every day? And the affirmations,I say, look at the awesomeness
creed and see what's speaking toyou and put that on before you
go out the door in the morning.
Merry (46:13):
Well, definitely That's good advice. Download her her
affirmations from her website,and you will be awesome every
day too. Right?
Cathy (46:22):
Yeah. And thank you for listening to our late boomers
podcast and subscribing to ourlate boomers podcast channel on
YouTube. Listen in next weekwhen you'll meet another
inspiring guest, JeffreyPeterson, who will tell us about
building a real estate empire,complete change of subject. You
can listen on any podcastplatform, and we do appreciate
(46:45):
you. Please follow us onInstagram at I am Kathy
Worthington and at I am MaryElkins and at late boomers.
Thanks again to Patty Smith.Patty with an I.
Patti Smith (46:58):
Thank you. Great to be with you guys and with your
audience too. I appreciate it.
Cathy (47:12):
Thank you for joining us on late boomers, the podcast
that is your guide to creating athird act with style, power, and
impact. Please visit our websiteand get in touch with us at late
boomers dot biz. If you wouldlike to listen to or download
other episodes of late boomers,go to ewnpodcastnetwork.com.
Merry (47:34):
This podcast is also available on Spotify, Apple
Podcast, and most other majorpodcast sites. We hope you make
use of the wisdom you've gainedhere and that you enjoy a
successful third act with yourown style, power, and impact.
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