November 12, 2025 • 6 mins
We got a question in for our American Mamas...
Dear Mamas, what’s better, marring young and have kids with someone who’s not your soulmate — or marring your soulmate later and not having kids?
If you'd like to ask our American Mamas a question, go to our website, AmericanGroundRadio.com/mamas and click on the Ask the Mamas button.
Dear Mamas, what’s better, marring young and have kids with someone who’s not your soulmate — or marring your soulmate later and not having kids?
If you'd like to ask our American Mamas a question, go to our website, AmericanGroundRadio.com/mamas and click on the Ask the Mamas button.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We got a question for our American mama's. Dear mama's,
what's better marrying it young and having kids with someone
who's not your soulmate, or marrying your soulmate later and
not having kids.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Well, let's ask our American mamas.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And joining us now our American mama's Terry Netteville and
Kimberly Burlison. You know, I'm not sure I am in
qualified in any way, shape or form to answer this
question because I married my soulmate young and we had kids,
So I get that whole thing. Yeah, and I can't go.
You know, if you can marry your soulmate young, do that.
(00:44):
That's what I did. It was good.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, do it. I'm looking right at her. She's our producer,
she's our director.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
And I'm not just saying that because I know you.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Said that since I've known you, and you're very People
that do that are very, very lucky. Oh yeah, And
I okay, So I've submit this because I wanted. It's
a really great question. Summer and I were on the
phone one morning, my daughter, Summer, and she was sad
that one of my friends was getting a divorce two children,
and she was sad about it. And she was worried
(01:13):
about her and she's and I said, you know what,
she's okay. Honestly, some are for a lot that it's
been hard for their whole married life. It's she didn't
marry her soulmate, and she just knew that it was
the right time. They were dating, at the right time,
she was ready to have children. They had children and
then and she said, well, that's interesting because then her
(01:34):
sister married someone later in life at forty her soulmate.
They travel, they do everything together, but she never had
children because she was so older getting married. Right, So
I said, but she's so happy because she's got her
nieces and nephews and she loves that she gets to
spend the rest of her life with her soulmate. And
(01:54):
so as you were talking, I said, I said, that's
really that's a really interesting question. And to ask people like,
if you had the choice, would you marry somebody because
it's the right time and you love them, and you
know you can love them for the rest of your
life and never look at anyone else and have a
family or wait, no children, but you have the love
(02:15):
of your life, your soulmate, no children.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Well, it was funny because I asked the question to
four different couples that I know separately. All of the
women said my children, they without even a thought. All
of the men said wife, right, my soulmate right. And
one of my friends he said, she is everything to me.
My kids will grow up, they will move on, but
my remaining life will be with her. So marrying my
(02:42):
soulmate is so much more important to me than having children. Yes,
and that's how you feel.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Well, it's actually it's actually biblical in that when you
get married, you make a covenant man to woman. You
do not make a covenant to your children. Your children
are going to go off and make a covenance to
someone else, right, And your children are to leave their
(03:09):
mother and father so that they can cleave to someone else. Okay,
Well that means that whoever you're cleaving to, you need
to be good with them, because your children are going
to leave you because they're supposed to. And so yeah,
from a biblical standpoint, you need to make sure that
the person that you're with is the person you're with. Now,
(03:32):
people go, okay, soulmate not soulmate. All this. I think
there's also an argument to be made that even if
maybe you're not soulmates to begin with that. If you
approach marriage the right way, you become that.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
I think a lot of people do that.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Well, there's a lot of arranged marriages, you know, where
that very thing happens.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So how are you treating this person who you thought
was your soulmate orre you're this person who's gonna be
with you forever? How are you treating them? You know,
I get off on some of this advice to younger
people here. I know this is the mama segment. Whatever
I talk about. You know, women will think about the
man that they want to marry. Oh, I want this
(04:16):
kind of thing. They'll write a little of this. I
want this, I want that, what this? This the kind
of man that I want. I want a man that's
upright AND's got a job, and boy's got to be handsome,
and I want strong forearms, all.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
All right?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
And then I go, okay, great, what are you doing
to become the type of person that man wants to marry?
And same for guys. Guys. I want a woman who's,
oh my gosh, he's got to be a knockout. I
want a woman who's great with raising kids. I want
a woman who's smart and she thinks sound funny. Okay, great,
what are you doing to be worth that woman?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
It reminds me of there's a woman that said on
a podcast it was before Charlie dying. They were talking
about how you know, wow, how can you attract a
Charlie Kirk? How can you attract someone like that? And
the other person said, you have to be in Erica Kirk. Yes,
and that is that's the truth of it.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That's the truth of it.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
And I think that you're so right about You know,
a lot of people in their late twenties, it's who
they're dating and dating three or four years you think, oh,
this has to be mine, got to be a person,
and it can be. I think you're very lucky if
you get to be with your soulmate, y'all raise your
children together. And but it's love, is uh. It's such
a great thing because you can you can choose to
be with someone in love them with every fiver of
(05:36):
your being. And but it is interesting to me the
different dynamic between what women say and what women what
men say when asked that question. Very interesting to me
because women are more inclined to want children because they
have that innate.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Get yeah, but women, you need to understand your kids
are supposed to leave you, your husband's not right. You
need to be planning your life that way. If you
like scare American Mama's question, go to our website American
Vown Radio dot com slash mamas and click on the
ask of the Mama's button turning out of well, Kiper
Brothers and thank you so much, Thank you,
We got a question for our American mama's. Dear mama's,
what's better marrying it young and having kids with someone
who's not your soulmate, or marrying your soulmate later and
not having kids.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Well, let's ask our American mamas.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
And joining us now our American mama's Terry Netteville and
Kimberly Burlison. You know, I'm not sure I am in
qualified in any way, shape or form to answer this
question because I married my soulmate young and we had kids,
So I get that whole thing. Yeah, and I can't go.
You know, if you can marry your soulmate young, do that.
(00:44):
That's what I did. It was good.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, do it. I'm looking right at her. She's our producer,
she's our director.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
And I'm not just saying that because I know you.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Said that since I've known you, and you're very People
that do that are very, very lucky. Oh yeah, And
I okay, So I've submit this because I wanted. It's
a really great question. Summer and I were on the
phone one morning, my daughter, Summer, and she was sad
that one of my friends was getting a divorce two children,
and she was sad about it. And she was worried
(01:13):
about her and she's and I said, you know what,
she's okay. Honestly, some are for a lot that it's
been hard for their whole married life. It's she didn't
marry her soulmate, and she just knew that it was
the right time. They were dating, at the right time,
she was ready to have children. They had children and
then and she said, well, that's interesting because then her
(01:34):
sister married someone later in life at forty her soulmate.
They travel, they do everything together, but she never had
children because she was so older getting married. Right, So
I said, but she's so happy because she's got her
nieces and nephews and she loves that she gets to
spend the rest of her life with her soulmate. And
(01:54):
so as you were talking, I said, I said, that's
really that's a really interesting question. And to ask people like,
if you had the choice, would you marry somebody because
it's the right time and you love them, and you
know you can love them for the rest of your
life and never look at anyone else and have a
family or wait, no children, but you have the love
(02:15):
of your life, your soulmate, no children.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Well, it was funny because I asked the question to
four different couples that I know separately. All of the
women said my children, they without even a thought. All
of the men said wife, right, my soulmate right. And
one of my friends he said, she is everything to me.
My kids will grow up, they will move on, but
my remaining life will be with her. So marrying my
(02:42):
soulmate is so much more important to me than having children. Yes,
and that's how you feel.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Well, it's actually it's actually biblical in that when you
get married, you make a covenant man to woman. You
do not make a covenant to your children. Your children
are going to go off and make a covenance to
someone else, right, And your children are to leave their
(03:09):
mother and father so that they can cleave to someone else. Okay,
Well that means that whoever you're cleaving to, you need
to be good with them, because your children are going
to leave you because they're supposed to. And so yeah,
from a biblical standpoint, you need to make sure that
the person that you're with is the person you're with. Now,
(03:32):
people go, okay, soulmate not soulmate. All this. I think
there's also an argument to be made that even if
maybe you're not soulmates to begin with that. If you
approach marriage the right way, you become that.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
I think a lot of people do that.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Well, there's a lot of arranged marriages, you know, where
that very thing happens.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So how are you treating this person who you thought
was your soulmate orre you're this person who's gonna be
with you forever? How are you treating them? You know,
I get off on some of this advice to younger
people here. I know this is the mama segment. Whatever
I talk about. You know, women will think about the
man that they want to marry. Oh, I want this
(04:16):
kind of thing. They'll write a little of this. I
want this, I want that, what this? This the kind
of man that I want. I want a man that's
upright AND's got a job, and boy's got to be handsome,
and I want strong forearms, all.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
All right?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
And then I go, okay, great, what are you doing
to become the type of person that man wants to marry?
And same for guys. Guys. I want a woman who's,
oh my gosh, he's got to be a knockout. I
want a woman who's great with raising kids. I want
a woman who's smart and she thinks sound funny. Okay, great,
what are you doing to be worth that woman?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
It reminds me of there's a woman that said on
a podcast it was before Charlie dying. They were talking
about how you know, wow, how can you attract a
Charlie Kirk? How can you attract someone like that? And
the other person said, you have to be in Erica Kirk. Yes,
and that is that's the truth of it.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That's the truth of it.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
And I think that you're so right about You know,
a lot of people in their late twenties, it's who
they're dating and dating three or four years you think, oh,
this has to be mine, got to be a person,
and it can be. I think you're very lucky if
you get to be with your soulmate, y'all raise your
children together. And but it's love, is uh. It's such
a great thing because you can you can choose to
be with someone in love them with every fiver of
(05:36):
your being. And but it is interesting to me the
different dynamic between what women say and what women what
men say when asked that question. Very interesting to me
because women are more inclined to want children because they
have that innate.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Get yeah, but women, you need to understand your kids
are supposed to leave you, your husband's not right. You
need to be planning your life that way. If you
like scare American Mama's question, go to our website American
Vown Radio dot com slash mamas and click on the
ask of the Mama's button turning out of well, Kiper
Brothers and thank you so much, Thank you,
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