September 18, 2025 • 6 mins
We got a question in for our American Mamas...
Have you heard of friend poaching?
If you'd to ask our American Mamas a question, go to our website, AmericanGroundRadio.com/mamas and click on the Ask the Mamas button.
Have you heard of friend poaching?
If you'd to ask our American Mamas a question, go to our website, AmericanGroundRadio.com/mamas and click on the Ask the Mamas button.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We got a question for American mama's. Dear mama's, have
you heard of friend poaching? Well, let's ask our Rah
Marrack and mamas.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Oh mama, she.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Said, and joining us now we're American mama's. Terry Netteville
and Kimberly burleson friend poaching. Well, is this like stealing
somebody else's friend?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This kind of is like that. It's so funny. When
I saw this on the internet, I thought, Wait a minute,
I've had that experience. I had a really.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
But before we get too far, can I just guess
this is mostly a female thing.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
It is a female thing.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Before you tell your story, let me just read this
one little paragraph ID to look it up. Okay, it
says friend poaching is when you introduce two friends to
each other and they develop a strong friendship that excludes you.
This can leave you feeling betrayed, hurt, left out of
your own social circle, similar to being friend n apps.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
All right, I'm going to tell you about Judy and Mary.
Judy is a close close friend of mine. She was
larger than life, big beautiful person, and I loved her
very close to her. Mary, my other best friend, wasn't
friends with Judy was obsessed with her though, because Judy
had a big personality, So Mary wants to be friends
with her. So I introduced them because I am the
(01:21):
only thing between the link and Judy wouldn't have given
Mary the time of day if it weren't for me. Okay, okay,
So I introduced them. Well, over the course of time,
I see pictures They're going places together, They've gone to
concerts if I'm out of talent, and I'm thinking, well,
that's weird, that's interesting, how I'm kind of being excluded.
(01:41):
Judy kind of like moves on from me and I
don't know why, and I have questions and find out
a year later Mary was sabotaging with saying negative things
about me, and I thought I got my friend, got poached,
and she then tried to sabotage my own friendship and
did it as did it works? I know, I don't
(02:01):
even talk to Judy. She's moved on. Yes, I'm actually
still friends with Mary, who I've changed their names. But
I'm still friends with Mary, but I keep an arm's
length and I'm very careful with I don't ever introduce
her to anybody new.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Yes, yes, that is so interesting.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
And again I'm like, this is absolutely a female thing.
It is a female thing, because I just don't think
that that's something like guys, I don't think you'd care.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Well, I'll tell you how it happens with guys. No,
this is how it happens with guys. Because sometimes okay,
so sometimes the poacher can be a social climber. Okay, Okay,
that's a person you know, they believe it'll raise their
social standing or it might help with their business situation, right,
and so in the men's role in women's world. But
I can see her friend poaching would be like, dude,
you got to introduce me.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Or let's say there's somebody that.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Has an event planning person who's like, I got to
get in that crowd, right, got and they want to
use you to get into that crowd so that they
can start having that business.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
And then I get you.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
So maybe that.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Can You're right, that would make more sense for a
man because it's business.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
There's this whole thing, you know, like men don't have friends.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Men have wives and wives have friends, and that's true, right,
I mean, that's there's a lot of truth to that.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
But I also don't say sometimes I think that women
can be a little more conniving, and so there might
be motivation behind it in the beginning, right before you
even poach, before you even think you know she wants
to be friends with Judy, there's there's a motive. I
got to get in with her. But I don't really
do that. It's like a lot of the three of
(03:34):
us go and.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Sure, we'll all just go. And if you guys are
going to go and I'm not there, okay, that's fine. Yea, yeah,
that's you next time. I've seen that with women, it
is very difficult to have trios of friendships. I agree
that if there's a there's a pair of friends or
four friends, it's easy. But if you start getting a
trio of friends, inevitably someone starts to feel like they're
(03:58):
being left out of something.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
That's your life. That that's let's be honest that I was.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Gonna say, I don't mind, I don't mind the three.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
I don't mind no, But I'm talking about like an
elementary in high school, junior high you always had lots
of friends, yeah, and you're always there, always had one.
I always had one best friends friend.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
I had a bunch because I didn't.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Really, but she would, but there would be drama, there
would be uh so and so is mad. I mean
there's always like some little thing going on, whereas I
never had that experience because I always had that one
best friend.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yes, yeah, I guess with my personality, I almost like
to have like, let's say, a lunch. Yeah, I almost
like to have three or more because I have this
real I have.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
This is an issue. This is a problem with me.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
If I have lunch with one on one, I'm gonna
spill my every secret and we're gonna get talking and
and then I leave going what I tell.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Her all that, why do you do that? You panic?
Speaker 3 (04:50):
It's like it's a pause panic if there's like a
pause else I.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Did, I can't wait for us to go.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
And So I like a lot of people because I
love to know everybody else's story. But so when someone
asks me about something, I cannot lie.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
So I like tell.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Everything, Well, let me just feel this. But so I've
always been more comfortable with more so they don't have
to really know me, know me. Kimberly has always had
you know, that one best friend and she's and then
we've talked about this before, where when you're like me
and your friends in different friend groups. You're kind of
like I call it the CUSP. Girls see us p cusp,
(05:29):
Like you're on the CUSP. So you might see these
friends go and do go weekend at the lake. You're
not included. But I don't get my feelings hurt because
I know they love me. I love them, but I'm
not in It's so hard to explain. I'm cool being that.
You know, I'm cool being in different circles and I
do get to do fun things. But I if someone
poaches a friend, I'm like, Okay, yeah, I've got plenty
(05:54):
of others.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
I'm good.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
If you like Desker. American Mama's a Question, go to
our website America Ready dot com slash Mama's and click
on the ask the Mama's button. Terry Netvill, Kimberly Brothers,
and thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Thank you,
We got a question for American mama's. Dear mama's, have
you heard of friend poaching? Well, let's ask our Rah
Marrack and mamas.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Oh mama, she.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Said, and joining us now we're American mama's. Terry Netteville
and Kimberly burleson friend poaching. Well, is this like stealing
somebody else's friend?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This kind of is like that. It's so funny. When
I saw this on the internet, I thought, Wait a minute,
I've had that experience. I had a really.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
But before we get too far, can I just guess
this is mostly a female thing.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
It is a female thing.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Before you tell your story, let me just read this
one little paragraph ID to look it up. Okay, it
says friend poaching is when you introduce two friends to
each other and they develop a strong friendship that excludes you.
This can leave you feeling betrayed, hurt, left out of
your own social circle, similar to being friend n apps.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
All right, I'm going to tell you about Judy and Mary.
Judy is a close close friend of mine. She was
larger than life, big beautiful person, and I loved her
very close to her. Mary, my other best friend, wasn't
friends with Judy was obsessed with her though, because Judy
had a big personality, So Mary wants to be friends
with her. So I introduced them because I am the
(01:21):
only thing between the link and Judy wouldn't have given
Mary the time of day if it weren't for me. Okay, okay,
So I introduced them. Well, over the course of time,
I see pictures They're going places together, They've gone to
concerts if I'm out of talent, and I'm thinking, well,
that's weird, that's interesting, how I'm kind of being excluded.
(01:41):
Judy kind of like moves on from me and I
don't know why, and I have questions and find out
a year later Mary was sabotaging with saying negative things
about me, and I thought I got my friend, got poached,
and she then tried to sabotage my own friendship and
did it as did it works? I know, I don't
(02:01):
even talk to Judy. She's moved on. Yes, I'm actually
still friends with Mary, who I've changed their names. But
I'm still friends with Mary, but I keep an arm's
length and I'm very careful with I don't ever introduce
her to anybody new.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Yes, yes, that is so interesting.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
And again I'm like, this is absolutely a female thing.
It is a female thing, because I just don't think
that that's something like guys, I don't think you'd care.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Well, I'll tell you how it happens with guys. No,
this is how it happens with guys. Because sometimes okay,
so sometimes the poacher can be a social climber. Okay, Okay,
that's a person you know, they believe it'll raise their
social standing or it might help with their business situation, right,
and so in the men's role in women's world. But
I can see her friend poaching would be like, dude,
you got to introduce me.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Or let's say there's somebody that.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Has an event planning person who's like, I got to
get in that crowd, right, got and they want to
use you to get into that crowd so that they
can start having that business.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
And then I get you.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
So maybe that.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Can You're right, that would make more sense for a
man because it's business.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
There's this whole thing, you know, like men don't have friends.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Men have wives and wives have friends, and that's true, right,
I mean, that's there's a lot of truth to that.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
But I also don't say sometimes I think that women
can be a little more conniving, and so there might
be motivation behind it in the beginning, right before you
even poach, before you even think you know she wants
to be friends with Judy, there's there's a motive. I
got to get in with her. But I don't really
do that. It's like a lot of the three of
(03:34):
us go and.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Sure, we'll all just go. And if you guys are
going to go and I'm not there, okay, that's fine. Yea, yeah,
that's you next time. I've seen that with women, it
is very difficult to have trios of friendships. I agree
that if there's a there's a pair of friends or
four friends, it's easy. But if you start getting a
trio of friends, inevitably someone starts to feel like they're
(03:58):
being left out of something.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
That's your life. That that's let's be honest that I was.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Gonna say, I don't mind, I don't mind the three.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
I don't mind no, But I'm talking about like an
elementary in high school, junior high you always had lots
of friends, yeah, and you're always there, always had one.
I always had one best friends friend.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
I had a bunch because I didn't.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Really, but she would, but there would be drama, there
would be uh so and so is mad. I mean
there's always like some little thing going on, whereas I
never had that experience because I always had that one
best friend.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yes, yeah, I guess with my personality, I almost like
to have like, let's say, a lunch. Yeah, I almost
like to have three or more because I have this
real I have.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
This is an issue. This is a problem with me.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
If I have lunch with one on one, I'm gonna
spill my every secret and we're gonna get talking and
and then I leave going what I tell.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Her all that, why do you do that? You panic?
Speaker 3 (04:50):
It's like it's a pause panic if there's like a
pause else I.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Did, I can't wait for us to go.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
And So I like a lot of people because I
love to know everybody else's story. But so when someone
asks me about something, I cannot lie.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
So I like tell.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Everything, Well, let me just feel this. But so I've
always been more comfortable with more so they don't have
to really know me, know me. Kimberly has always had
you know, that one best friend and she's and then
we've talked about this before, where when you're like me
and your friends in different friend groups. You're kind of
like I call it the CUSP. Girls see us p cusp,
(05:29):
Like you're on the CUSP. So you might see these
friends go and do go weekend at the lake. You're
not included. But I don't get my feelings hurt because
I know they love me. I love them, but I'm
not in It's so hard to explain. I'm cool being that.
You know, I'm cool being in different circles and I
do get to do fun things. But I if someone
poaches a friend, I'm like, Okay, yeah, I've got plenty
(05:54):
of others.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
I'm good.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
If you like Desker. American Mama's a Question, go to
our website America Ready dot com slash Mama's and click
on the ask the Mama's button. Terry Netvill, Kimberly Brothers,
and thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Thank you,
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