November 21, 2025 • 5 mins
We got a question in for our American Mamas...
Dear Mamas, when a couple is getting divorced should they tell their kids if infidelity was involved?
If you'd like to ask our American Mamas a question, go to our website, AmericanGroundRadio.com/mamas and click on the Ask the Mamas button.
Dear Mamas, when a couple is getting divorced should they tell their kids if infidelity was involved?
If you'd like to ask our American Mamas a question, go to our website, AmericanGroundRadio.com/mamas and click on the Ask the Mamas button.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, we got a question for our American mama's. Dear mamas,
when a couple is getting divorced, should they tell their
kids if infidelity was involved.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Well, let's ask our American mama's Mama Mama.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
And joining us now our American mama's Terry Edeville and
Kimberly Burlison. Look, this isn't something that any one of
us has actually had experience with, either in the divorce
or the infidelity aspect. But we've all had friends who have,
I think, gone through this, friends with kids and and
issues along that. But what do you think if you're
(00:44):
going through divorce, you're separating, do you say, well, it's
because daddy was sleeping with the secretary? Do you say that?
Speaker 3 (00:50):
I think that's probably the first impulsive move that the
other spouse wants to make. But is it necessarily a
good idea? Not at all.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
I feel like you show true love when you can
restraint in yourself from sharing such a negative thing to
your parents, to your children. I think that's real love.
But I do think that when your children are grown adults,
tell them. I think, tell them because now they're in
the world of choosing their partners, they're in a world
of tough conversations that need to happen. And I think
(01:19):
that's when you need to be honest about the reason.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Should you wait till they ask it? Or should you
just come out and say there's something I want to
tell you.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Well, I don't know about that. I don't know, but
I definitely feel like there's a different time. I think
when your kids are young, you kind of shield them
from it. The problem is if you've got one parent
that does the loving thing and you have another parent
that does not, what do you do do you match
that energy?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Right now?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
That can be a real problem. So I see a
couple of different scenarios that this may not be a
one size fits all kind of answer. Because if you
have a situation where one of the spouses is leaving
to go shack up with the lover, it's kind of
obvious there, right, Why is mom gone? Well, Mom's got
(02:03):
a new boyfriend. Even at a young age, I mean
that there's just kind of right. But is there an
age limit? Is there an age limit at which you go,
you know what, My kids are old enough. They need
the truth, and they deserve the truth. And even though
it may hurt, I need to tell them.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Well, I think you're right. It depends. I think it's
a We have another situation where we know of this
couple that are that we're good friends with, and there
was a divorce that took place, and the kids hate
this one spouse because they believe this one spouse did
things that they didn't do. I'm not saying if it's
a man or a woman, okay, And so you're seeing
(02:42):
a broken relationship taking place based on a lie, based
on something that is not real. So in that particular situation,
I feel like, Okay, I know it's a loving thing
to keep your ex spouse shielded, but there's another You're
ruining your relationship with your children by allowing this law
to continue. You need to be honest and tell them
(03:04):
what really happened, even if it's super debian.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Oh wow, even if it's super deviant. Yes, okay, Terry.
Have you had friends that have gone through this?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Oh yeah, I think everybody at this point. You know,
we've been married thirty plus years, so in that timeframe,
you do have friends that go through this. And I'm
of the mindset of love your children more than you
hate your spouse. So I would if you tell your children, Okay,
(03:33):
I thought you were something like that, that is the
delicious children and then start feeling like their entire life
was a lie. They start they don't trust anybody. They
take all of that into their relationships and it causes harm.
And this may not be the right way. It is
the way of our grandparents' generation where you just don't
(03:53):
talk about it. So I guess I'm of that mindset
because I'm thinking of the children, no matter they're age,
how that will darken that part of your spirit and
it's not necessary.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Let me ask another question on this, if you have
I mean, obviously there's a lot of hurt feelings, there's
a lot of pain as you're going through this, and
most divorces you don't have the couple being able to
communicate on the same page. But would it be better
if you have If you have an issue of infidelity
and you're talking to the kids about it, would it
be better if both parents are talking to the kids
(04:27):
at the same time rather than just one going, oh, yeah,
well it's because daddy's a cheater and daddy's not there.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Oh gosh, I could get messy too, though, if you
think about it, like I'm sure that these children have
been exposed to parents who probably yell and scream and
degrade and you know, belittle and all the time. So
that might be a very uncomfortable unless you had some
sort of counselor there, you know, to help, you know.
(04:55):
As an interesting thought, because I really do, it truly
does go back, and I think about our grandmothers. I
think about one grandmother in particular, who had things happen
actually to her in her life and we didn't know
till she was till my mom basically forced out of
her when she was an older woman, and it just,
you know, it just it's heart wrenching. But their way,
(05:17):
it was a protection mode, like there's no reason to
share something that's going to shatter my children and make
them look at everybody in a way that they don't trust.
I'm already not trusting you because I trusted my father
or i'm my mother more than anybody, and they betrayed
our family. So now I don't trust anybody like.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
I just and that's what happens.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Yeah, And I just feel like I just love your
children more than you hate your spouse and say it
just didn't work out.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
You could like to ask for American Mama was a question.
Go to our website Americano Ready to dot com, slash mama's
and click on the ask. The mama's button turned out
of Kirier the Brothers and thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Thank you,
Well, we got a question for our American mama's. Dear mamas,
when a couple is getting divorced, should they tell their
kids if infidelity was involved.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Well, let's ask our American mama's Mama Mama.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
And joining us now our American mama's Terry Edeville and
Kimberly Burlison. Look, this isn't something that any one of
us has actually had experience with, either in the divorce
or the infidelity aspect. But we've all had friends who have,
I think, gone through this, friends with kids and and
issues along that. But what do you think if you're
(00:44):
going through divorce, you're separating, do you say, well, it's
because daddy was sleeping with the secretary? Do you say that?
Speaker 3 (00:50):
I think that's probably the first impulsive move that the
other spouse wants to make. But is it necessarily a
good idea? Not at all.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
I feel like you show true love when you can
restraint in yourself from sharing such a negative thing to
your parents, to your children. I think that's real love.
But I do think that when your children are grown adults,
tell them. I think, tell them because now they're in
the world of choosing their partners, they're in a world
of tough conversations that need to happen. And I think
(01:19):
that's when you need to be honest about the reason.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Should you wait till they ask it? Or should you
just come out and say there's something I want to
tell you.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Well, I don't know about that. I don't know, but
I definitely feel like there's a different time. I think
when your kids are young, you kind of shield them
from it. The problem is if you've got one parent
that does the loving thing and you have another parent
that does not, what do you do do you match
that energy?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Right now?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
That can be a real problem. So I see a
couple of different scenarios that this may not be a
one size fits all kind of answer. Because if you
have a situation where one of the spouses is leaving
to go shack up with the lover, it's kind of
obvious there, right, Why is mom gone? Well, Mom's got
(02:03):
a new boyfriend. Even at a young age, I mean
that there's just kind of right. But is there an
age limit? Is there an age limit at which you go,
you know what, My kids are old enough. They need
the truth, and they deserve the truth. And even though
it may hurt, I need to tell them.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Well, I think you're right. It depends. I think it's
a We have another situation where we know of this
couple that are that we're good friends with, and there
was a divorce that took place, and the kids hate
this one spouse because they believe this one spouse did
things that they didn't do. I'm not saying if it's
a man or a woman, okay, And so you're seeing
(02:42):
a broken relationship taking place based on a lie, based
on something that is not real. So in that particular situation,
I feel like, Okay, I know it's a loving thing
to keep your ex spouse shielded, but there's another You're
ruining your relationship with your children by allowing this law
to continue. You need to be honest and tell them
(03:04):
what really happened, even if it's super debian.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Oh wow, even if it's super deviant. Yes, okay, Terry.
Have you had friends that have gone through this?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Oh yeah, I think everybody at this point. You know,
we've been married thirty plus years, so in that timeframe,
you do have friends that go through this. And I'm
of the mindset of love your children more than you
hate your spouse. So I would if you tell your children, Okay,
(03:33):
I thought you were something like that, that is the
delicious children and then start feeling like their entire life
was a lie. They start they don't trust anybody. They
take all of that into their relationships and it causes harm.
And this may not be the right way. It is
the way of our grandparents' generation where you just don't
(03:53):
talk about it. So I guess I'm of that mindset
because I'm thinking of the children, no matter they're age,
how that will darken that part of your spirit and
it's not necessary.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Let me ask another question on this, if you have
I mean, obviously there's a lot of hurt feelings, there's
a lot of pain as you're going through this, and
most divorces you don't have the couple being able to
communicate on the same page. But would it be better
if you have If you have an issue of infidelity
and you're talking to the kids about it, would it
be better if both parents are talking to the kids
(04:27):
at the same time rather than just one going, oh, yeah,
well it's because daddy's a cheater and daddy's not there.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Oh gosh, I could get messy too, though, if you
think about it, like I'm sure that these children have
been exposed to parents who probably yell and scream and
degrade and you know, belittle and all the time. So
that might be a very uncomfortable unless you had some
sort of counselor there, you know, to help, you know.
(04:55):
As an interesting thought, because I really do, it truly
does go back, and I think about our grandmothers. I
think about one grandmother in particular, who had things happen
actually to her in her life and we didn't know
till she was till my mom basically forced out of
her when she was an older woman, and it just,
you know, it just it's heart wrenching. But their way,
(05:17):
it was a protection mode, like there's no reason to
share something that's going to shatter my children and make
them look at everybody in a way that they don't trust.
I'm already not trusting you because I trusted my father
or i'm my mother more than anybody, and they betrayed
our family. So now I don't trust anybody like.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
I just and that's what happens.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Yeah, And I just feel like I just love your
children more than you hate your spouse and say it
just didn't work out.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
You could like to ask for American Mama was a question.
Go to our website Americano Ready to dot com, slash mama's
and click on the ask. The mama's button turned out
of Kirier the Brothers and thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Thank you,
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.