August 9, 2025 • 52 mins
Episode: 2025.11.25
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to recognize chapters in your life. Perhaps you chose the wrong job. Maybe you stayed in a relationship longer than you should have. Join Nancy as she discusses how to reflect on the lessons learned from those periods.
Our first caller Terri wonders how to navigate issues with her sisters. Nancy advises her to invite them to family therapy. She also recommends Terri to appreciate her own gracious personality instead of wishing they shared it. Tune in to learn how to learn how to stay grounded even when family members make it difficult.
Our inspirational guest Michelle Hausbeck had to recognize many chapters in her life. She started binge drinking at age 13, and it eventually led her to also having a gambling addiction once she became 21. A few years later, her significant other drowned, which drove her to a lifelong journey of grief. She turned to alcohol once again until her now husband made an ultimatum. Since then, she has closed that chapter and still remains sober to this day. Tune in to the Living Full Out show to hear how Michelle was able to overcome the feeling of disappointing others.
Perhaps you want to put trauma from your past behind you once and for all. Try writing down the painful moments that come to mind, and throw away the paper after a deep reflection. Recognizing and overcoming adverse chapters in your life allows you to be strong and live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to recognize chapters in your life. Perhaps you chose the wrong job. Maybe you stayed in a relationship longer than you should have. Join Nancy as she discusses how to reflect on the lessons learned from those periods.
Our first caller Terri wonders how to navigate issues with her sisters. Nancy advises her to invite them to family therapy. She also recommends Terri to appreciate her own gracious personality instead of wishing they shared it. Tune in to learn how to learn how to stay grounded even when family members make it difficult.
Our inspirational guest Michelle Hausbeck had to recognize many chapters in her life. She started binge drinking at age 13, and it eventually led her to also having a gambling addiction once she became 21. A few years later, her significant other drowned, which drove her to a lifelong journey of grief. She turned to alcohol once again until her now husband made an ultimatum. Since then, she has closed that chapter and still remains sober to this day. Tune in to the Living Full Out show to hear how Michelle was able to overcome the feeling of disappointing others.
Perhaps you want to put trauma from your past behind you once and for all. Try writing down the painful moments that come to mind, and throw away the paper after a deep reflection. Recognizing and overcoming adverse chapters in your life allows you to be strong and live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Silari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Silari, and today we're me talking about
the chapters in your life and just how we can
turn that new page and we really can start over.
We can also flip through the novel of our life
and see where we've grown, and we're going to talk
a lot about those concepts today. In fact, our inspirational
(00:41):
guests coming up in our next segment, Michelle Hausbeck has
had many different chapters, and you'll know what I mean
by that. It's going to feel like we're jumping over
many different topics within her life's journey. But within there
are so many good inspirational moments that I really can't
wait to share with you. Also, all of our guests
truely have little morsels of insights that I even sit
(01:04):
here and when I'm interviewing them, I'm like, Wow, I'm
going to apply that or I never thought about it
that way. So we really encourage you to go back
and listen to more of our episodes. If you want,
you can go to the app store and get the
Living Full Out Show app. It's free and listen to
us on the go, Or you can just go to
Livingfullout dot com. All of the episodes are right there
(01:25):
waiting for you.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Now.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I'm getting more from our producer that we do have
a listener on the line. Let's go check in with them. Hello,
and welcome to The Living Full Out Show.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Hi, how are you?
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Thank you so much, I'm good. How can I help
you today?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Sort of a question. I'm one of four sisters. I'm
the second of four sisters, and my entire life, I
feel like I've tried really hard to have a good
relationship with them, but there always seems to be some
sort of an issue. And I feel like the older
I get, and you know, the older they ye, it's
(02:00):
just taking a toll on me more mentally and physically,
because I feel like we're at a stage in our
lives now that we should just kind of enjoy each
other and be open with each other. And I'm just
kind of wondering if you could give me some insight
into how to navigate some of those issues.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
You know what, I really understand, I really do. I too,
am one of two three daughters in the family, and
one lives really far away. We rarely see her, and
one lives only two hours for me, see her all
the time, talk all the time, and so it is
hard when you long to have a relationship. But maybe
that other person is rarely available by phone, maybe they
(02:41):
live far away, and just overall, maybe your worlds and
communication styles and everything are different. So I get that now.
Rather than trying to tackle every relationship. When you consider
your three siblings, is there one that you'd like to
start with, like kind of first out of the gate,
nurture that a little bit more.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Oh totally. That would be the oldest, And she's actually
the one that I have the most issues with, and
ironically she's the one that I've been the closest to
my whole life.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
So let that be. Let that be the guide. So
first of all, don't try everybody at the same time.
It'll exhaust you. Right, be really intentional with that one,
and the others will be watching. So if they see
you and her start to get closer and start to
do things, it's a little easier to start to fold
the others in. But when you consider there could be
(03:37):
several riffs right, several blocks, But when you consider the
main one that keeps you to not in harmony, what
do you think that is?
Speaker 4 (03:48):
I'm not sure. I almost feel like we're very close
in age. We have children that are close in age,
and I feel like it's always kind of been a
competition on her end, is what it kind of seems like.
And I think in a lot of ways she looks
she does look up to me, but it's almost not
(04:08):
in a healthy way. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Even though you're the younger one, she looks up.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
To you right right?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And what in an ideal scenario, what do you want
from her or need from her?
Speaker 4 (04:23):
I just need for her to just be, you know,
happy for me when you know good things happen in
a good way, and not kind of put herself in
my position wanting to have the same things. You know,
I want to be able to go to her. There
are times where I won't share everything with her because
(04:45):
I just don't feel like she's present for that. So
I would love to be able to just be able
to share everything with her. You know, she's my older sister.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
So so here's some thoughts I have. So and the
reason why I asked that question is everything that you're
saying that you need from her makes perfect sense. Just
be proud of me, you know, say I'm doing a
good job in my life, or you know, be a
part of my life. Ask about what I'm doing. The
only thing about that is we're assuming then that she
(05:17):
has the emotional or space awareness, whatever you want to
call it, to do that. And I don't know your
older sister, so I can't assume all the elements of
her life nor her character who she is as a person.
But sometimes people don't have that awareness like it just
(05:39):
I mean literally, I will sit down with people and
be with them for an hour and forty five minutes
in they'll be like, so, how are you doing?
Speaker 6 (05:47):
You know?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
And that's okay. I know that they are more about them,
and when I go out with them, I go out
assuming we may never talk about me. Now does that
mean I don't to be their friend? No, so you
kind of had to set the expectation. I don't know.
What I don't know is if she has that ability,
(06:09):
and so you want to set yourself up for success,
meaning that you're asking her to number one, have enough
awareness to ask about you, which seems like common sense,
but again depends on how she functions in life. And
then we're asking her to also have the awareness to
say I'm proud of you, good job. And again I'm
(06:31):
not even sure how many people she does that with
in her whole life at all. You know, kids, partners, friends,
name it, and so so we have to be careful
sometimes we don't want to let people off the hook.
You want to grow with her, But I really would empower.
We've come so far now with technology and therapy, you know,
(06:54):
I would consider either getting a life coach or a
therapist and seeing if she'd be open to like a
remote session once a month to build that bond. Or
if you guys live locally, you know something in person.
I really think it's going to take a third person
observing the two of you to neutrally call out what
(07:18):
you both aren't seeing. That's just my hunch because if
you have that neutral third party, and it's not another sibling,
it's not a spouse, it's not a friend, No one
no one related to either of you, then that person
can say, you know, because your sister might say, oh,
I compliment her all the time, but that third person
(07:39):
might be able to say, actually, I've never heard it
once in eight sessions right right now. Equally, though, we
don't know what she needs from you, and that's a
question mark to be answered. And the beauty is, as
long as you have that desire, you are willing to
(08:01):
do the work. And do you think she is as well?
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I think she would be. I think she would be.
I don't know, like you said, as far as her
being able to to do what do you think her
block is?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Is it a financial block? Is it a time block?
Speaker 4 (08:21):
I just think it's just she just can't get faster
herself basically, you know what I mean. She's just she
gets hung up on certain things, and you know, instead
of instead of being happy for anyone, it's always you know,
she's thinking about, like what what she could do like
in that same position, and it's just it's never from
(08:43):
a good place. And I just don't know if she's
capable of doing it. I mean maybe if it's shown
to her that, you know, if we see both sides,
maybe I'll see things differently too well, what.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
You could do. What you could do is number one,
do what I suggest, get a life coach, get a
therapist remotely in person, and maybe take it upon yourself
if you can afford to do so, pay for three
to four sessions like take every block barrier away and
let that person observe the two of you together. But
(09:17):
then number two, you have to decide if you're going
to be okay with having her not fulfill your needs,
but still having her in your life. And I would
look at it more not like she's selfish, not like
she's mean. She just might not have that tool, she
(09:37):
might not have that ability. And the fact that you do,
the fact that we're having this conversation, you should lift
your head high today and walk away being really proud
of who you are. It's not so much about what
your sister thinks. Doesn't even matter what Nancy thinks, but
it's all about when you look in the mirror, are
(09:58):
you being who you want to be in the world,
which I believe you are. So I think there's a
capacity to have a relationship with your sister. You just
might have to let go of your needs and ones
and kind of let it be. It's kind of like
a rubber band, right. If you stretch the rubber band
and try to make it do things it doesn't want
to do, it could break. But in rest, that rubber
(10:20):
band is lovely helpful. Okay, so thanks, not that we're
calling your sister rubber band, but you know what I mean.
But thank you so much for calling in and really
really good, good question, and for everybody else. When we
come back, we're going to be joined by Michelle Houseback,
(10:40):
and again I really want you to lean in and
listen to her story because today we are talking about
the chapters of our life. Just like with family members,
we might have to rewrite a new narrative of how
we relate to them, you know, or what we want
our future to look like. But truly we can all
live full out.
Speaker 7 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined, And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org brought to
you by the AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 8 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 6 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 9 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 8 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 6 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistake.
Speaker 10 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 8 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 10 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have prediabetes?
Speaker 8 (12:42):
Dot org?
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Warning the cap is loose on that cat young.
Speaker 8 (12:47):
Oh don't wait.
Speaker 10 (12:48):
You have the power to change the outcome. Visit do
I have prediabetes dot org today. That's do I have
Prediabetes dot org? Brought to you by the AD Council
and its pre diabetes awareness partners.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Hehu oh brah, that's buzzed.
Speaker 11 (13:01):
Oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 12 (13:02):
He's starting with the woots.
Speaker 9 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 13 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 5 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying, when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 10 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too, know your buzzed warning signs,
call for a ride when it's time to go home.
Speaker 8 (13:25):
Buzz Driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True, You're out.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
You got me.
Speaker 14 (13:35):
Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 15 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's nfamilyfire dot Org, brought to you by N Familyfire
Brady and the AD Council.
Speaker 16 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the lingo.
Speaker 13 (14:06):
Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 16 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Think you're rad just the same.
Speaker 16 (14:47):
To learn more, visit adopt us Kids dot org, a
public service announcement brought to you by the US Department
of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids, and the
AD Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Soilary As
a life coach. Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You can ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Thank you so much for joining us today. My name
is Nancy Silari and this is a Living Full Out
show and today we're talking about chapters in your life.
And as promised, I brought our inspirational guest today, Michelle
Hauseback truely has been through so many chapters. As I promise,
we're going to dig into all of them. So welcome
Michelle to the show.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
Thank you, Narcy.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Happy to be here, oh so happy to have you.
And when I say happy boy, that is who you
were as a little taught you were just energetic, social,
an only child, so truly the apple of your parents'
eyes and close to them, and just had really I
think a childhood that so many of us long for.
(16:17):
And I know that through your teenage years you were
standing up for people and still being that joyful soul,
you know, dabbling with a little bit of drinking here
and there, you know, in that social way. But when
you turned nineteen, kind of everything kind of came together,
that social side of yourself with kind of that newfound freedom,
(16:40):
kind of hit a crossroad. What did you find out
about yourself? Kind of the behaviors of who you were?
Speaker 5 (16:49):
Well, as you said, I had there. I've always been
a very social person, and I think as many of
us do. Through the high school of your years, we
kind of dabble with, you know, drinking and just hanging
out and try a new thing. But when I was nineteen,
(17:09):
I moved out on my own, and you know, living
in Las Vegas, one of the activities is going out
to whether it's nightclubs.
Speaker 17 (17:21):
Or the bars, and I actually had a fake ID
and I kind of realized that, you know, the ability
to do things to their fullest started to apply to
my drinking.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
I kind of wore like a badge of honor if
I could, you know, drink you under the table or
be the last man standing.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
And you know, you did wear that badge with honor.
And when you turned to twenty one, and obviously you'd
all even drinking, but you you developed a new habit,
something you hadn't done until you turned twenty one? What
was that?
Speaker 5 (18:09):
Well, So on my twenty first birthday, I was actually
at a bowling or by Bold, So I was in
a bowling league, and after we were done, it was
actually at a Santa Fe station here. I was so
excited to stick my first twenty dollars bill into a
video poker machine. It's something I had been waiting for,
(18:31):
and so I did, and to my surprise and shock
and enjoyment, I won. So I think I won like
aces as a kicker, but I won about eight hundred
bucks on my first twenty and I thought, huh, this
is awesome.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Okay, who doesn't love that?
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Yeah. So that that, unfortunately, though, kicked off about a
four year stint of gambling, which turned into a pretty
nasty gambling problem. I won for about the first year,
which I still think back in you know, it's pretty incredible.
(19:16):
But then I started losing and the cycle kind of
began of chasing the money.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
You know, it's it's really I mean you I kind
of almost picture you like, you know, kind of a
boss in a movie. I mean you're you're there in
the bar and you're like you know, you know, I'll
take a marker, and what is a marker?
Speaker 5 (19:42):
So a marker was something I don't think they do
it anymore. But so I had developed pretty good friendship
with a lot of the bartenders and the patrons of
a bar that I used to go to quite a bit.
It's kind of like cheers, right, everyone knows your name.
And I discussed, I know, a couple of years into it,
(20:03):
that you could get markers, which is essentially like an iou.
So I could be gambling and just ran out of
money and say, hey, bartender, friend, can I get a
hundred bucks? And they would give it to you and
they would just, you know, write it down on a
piece of paper. Okay, Michelle, you know one hundred bucks,
(20:23):
but can you mind didn't stop at one hundred bucks?
Speaker 14 (20:27):
No?
Speaker 5 (20:28):
No.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
And so between the markers, the IOUs and then even
the creativeness, I'm gonna give you points for a creativeness
you know, you know, getting you know, cash advances on
credit cards, different things you did eventually get to a
point where you couldn't pay it back. How much in
debt were.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
You I was in debt north of twenty five thousand
dollars at the age of going to be twenty five.
So at the tail end of twenty four years old,
I feel found myself in a spot where there were
no more cash advances to be and I truthfully, I
(21:08):
was afraid that I would have a night where I
would have markers and have no way to pay them,
because along with the gambling problem, I was drinking pretty
pretty heavily too. At this time, coping mechanisms were drinking
and gambling, and so it was this cycle. But I
(21:30):
got I found my place, or I found myself in
a place of what I would I guess describe as
rock bottom, and I started having some pretty scary thoughts
of how to get myself out of debt. Well, I
never acted on anything I knew just you know, having
those thoughts was pretty dangerous. So I knew that I
(21:54):
needed to get help and be honest about where I
was at.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
And the hard part is who you needed to be
honest with was a yourself, but also your parents. How
did that go?
Speaker 5 (22:11):
Well, you know, have you ever found I'm sure many
listeners have found theirselfs in the spot of like, oh
my gosh, how did they get here? And I found
myself over at my parents' house sitting cross legged on
the floor looking up at them sitting in their chairs.
(22:33):
You know, I just felt like a little five year
old child that knew I was going to get in
trouble for what I was going to have to tell them.
I can still remember the feeling sitting there, looking up
at them and not knowing how it was going to go,
and just being terrified of their response. But I told them.
(22:57):
I told them that, you know, I have a gambling problem.
And I'm sure there was obviously some air of disappointment,
but they weren't mad, which shocked me. And over the
course of the next few days there were just some
really good conversations of why and how, and you know,
(23:23):
I didn't have to tell them how much, which that
was a little bit of a shock to them.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Well, well, and I'm proud of you for actually taking
that moment, and I think the audience would agree. We
feel that moment and that's a hard one. But you
came clean. You turned a new page in, you know,
a new chapter. So stay with us, Michelle everyone when
we come back, and we be learning more about her
(23:47):
story and more about how she strives to live full
out every day.
Speaker 12 (24:03):
Today in school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I
learned that no one likes me. In English, I learned
that I'm disgusting, and in physics, I learned that I'm
a loser.
Speaker 14 (24:16):
Today, in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In history today, I learned that I'm trying. Today.
Speaker 18 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 14 (24:38):
That no one In biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid, And in math I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 12 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 8 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 19 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 20 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 21 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it?
Speaker 14 (26:05):
You do.
Speaker 15 (26:06):
That's who.
Speaker 21 (26:07):
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear never give
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. For more information,
(26:30):
visit safercar dot gov slash kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 13 (27:04):
It's slipping coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 5 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 9 (27:08):
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Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfullout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Welcome back. I'm Nancy Silari and this is the Living
Full Out Show, and today we're talking about chapters in
your life. And truly we need to know that if
we have a bad chapter, that we have the ability
to turn that page, that we can start over, that
we can have, you know, see our future with a
fresh pair of eyes and our inspirational guest today, Michelle hasback,
(28:45):
has done that several different times in her life, as
she will admit. So i'd like to welcome Michelle back
to the show.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Thank you, Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
So I want to thank you again you for being
so honest and when I'd say that you've had several
chapters we talked about, you know, the binge drinking. We've
talked about, you know, falling into gambling and needing to
come clean to your parents. I know you had a
chapter of your life where you were, you know, married
(29:14):
for two and a half years, and that was a
rough marriage, toxic in different ways. And even within that marriage,
you had to file bankruptcy, you had to move back
in with your parents. I mean, one of the things
that has constantly happened in your life is change. But
(29:34):
amongst those hard times, and why we're talking today about
you know, chapters in our life is if all we
have are just those yucky chapters, then ugh, that sounds
so heavy. And what I'd love about this next chapter
of your life is when you were you know, needing
kind of a new chapter of something good to come
(29:56):
into your world, something good did come into your world.
You fell in love again. You had a significant other.
It was someone you had been friends with and and
you had been dating, and he had a little five
year old boy, and really life was good, it was
stable and happy, and unfortunately tragedy found you and he
(30:18):
had drowned. He'd gone to a lake, and you know,
many different circumstances unfolded, but ultimately that person, your person
had drowned. And I don't know, Michelle, how do you
with all those I guess addicted behaviors, who had of
(30:40):
drinking and gambling and you know, everybody having you know,
times where we have negative thoughts. I don't know what
you do in that place.
Speaker 5 (30:53):
Well, it's a tough place. Three and a half years
into our relationship, that happened. He had gone out into
the lake, and you know, he drowned, and then he
was missing for about fourteen hours. And I think, well,
(31:17):
I was in a state of shock obviously for a while,
and grief is a funny, little, funny little thing. I
remember it was about three and a half months after
he had passed away, and I found myself on day four.
(31:39):
I was I hadn't gotten out of bed for about
four days, just you know, I'd gone to the bathroom
and said the dogs, and I just thought, how am
I here? And I can't live like this. It's obviously
a whole tornado of emotions that I had known her
(32:00):
experience and really couldn't even name at the time that
I attribute God to getting me out of bed. I
think he actually came into my body and moved me
out of the covers and forced me to shower and
make a phone call to a therapist. And I remember
(32:23):
walking into her and saying, Okay, I think there's like
eight or nine right stages of grief, and I think
I've accomplished three of them, so I have, you know,
six or seven to go. What's the timeframe? How do
I do this and how do I get over it?
And she kind of laughed at me and said, Michelle,
(32:45):
grief doesn't work that way. It has no timeline, there's
no structure to it, and you can't just get over it.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
At that point, do we find a different therapist? Okay,
I don't have it?
Speaker 5 (33:00):
Im sorry, eliash Shell strolling Nature, which did not like
that answer.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Well, but one of the things that I appreciate about
you is you know you are an inaction person. Even
though you were not in action for so many months.
You did decide to get a roommate. The house was
too quiet. And when you got that roommate who worked
a nine to five and you worked from home, her
brother came to visit, and one thing led to another
(33:30):
and you found yourself in a new romance. And that
he moved, he went back home because he was just visiting,
and that became a long distance romance. And then he
came out and he ended up moving in with you,
and I mean you were back, you were back to
being happy. The problem is you were still drinking and
(33:52):
there was a time when you went to a bar.
He couldn't find you, he couldn't reach you. He finally
found you, so he gave you an ultimatum.
Speaker 5 (34:02):
What was that? Yeah, So I called this the ultimatum
that saved my life through our courtship both across country
and then even when he moved in with me, I
constantly thought, you know, what is this guy doing. He
could talk about seeing someone at their worst. I was
(34:24):
still in the mess of grief, and you know, using
drinking as a as a coping mechanism. For all the
the good tools I had in my toolbox through therapy,
I still was using the drinking much more heavily now
to get rid of the feeling. And then, you know,
(34:46):
dating somebody in the midst of grief, that's a whole
other story with you know, one shoe in one life
and one shoe and the other. But he's he saw
something in me and decided to move out here and
give it a try, and I'm so thankful that he
did so. That morning, after I had had an episode,
as I call it, when he had to play the
(35:07):
words Michelle game, he looked at me and said, you know,
I love you so much, but if you continue drinking,
I cannot stay. And I thought, wow, I am not
a fan of ultimatums, and you know, going through what
(35:28):
I had gone through, I thought it was a pretty
decent excuse to, you know, drink. So I always had
my defensive walls up. But instead of coming back at
him defensively, God interceded into my heart and said, Michelle,
you don't want to live your life like this. You
(35:49):
have a blessing right in front of you and a
new life. Don't waste it. So out of my mouth came,
I will stop drinking. And he did not believe me.
I did not believe me because I had no idea
how I was going to do this.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
But Michelle, you've been sober nownced for how long?
Speaker 5 (36:14):
So nine years this past March.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Wooo? That is so that is so great Because that there,
it's so easy to just say I'll just have one,
or I'll just have a sip or just tonight or
just for this one wedding occasion or whatever.
Speaker 15 (36:34):
You know.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
So I am so so proud of you. Now, you
did end up getting married, the two of you and
are together today, and he, you know, kind of lives
a sober life along with you. But you know, one
of the things that I think is very honest about
your story goes back to kind of something sometimes these
(36:56):
yucky feelings like disappointing. And I know one of your
biggest fears is that you're going to disappoint people, whether
it's your parents, whether it's not wanting to tell people
right away that you were going to get up drinking
so you didn't want to let them down. I think
that's so relatable. How do you kind of calm those
triggers every day?
Speaker 5 (37:23):
Well, there's a couple things. So number one is definitely
my faith. I've kind of left God before and come
back to him, but he never leaves me, thank goodness.
A lot of it is my faith and relying on
him and going to him. But I also look back
(37:46):
at what I have overcome and how I was able
to get through. But I also I look at how
people reacted. You know, what we build up in our
heads as how other people are going to react sometimes
is such this grand story and untrue. I don't think
(38:09):
we give people enough credit sometimes because the majority of
the situations where I did have to come cleaner, be honest,
or somebody obviously saw what was happening and wanted to
help and be there for me, I was met with
a lot of love and understanding and just true wanting
(38:33):
to support me and guide me through it and be
there as you know, my support system. And I just
have to remember that, you know, even when people come
to me with hard saying, disappointment really isn't ever in
the emotion bucket, you know. I think people's first reaction
(38:56):
is really to try to understand and help, So I
have to remind myself of that often I'm having those fears.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Well, I actually think that's really full circle. And I
know there's more chapters in your memoir coming right, there's
more ahead of you. But I think that's all we
can ask from ourselves is to be able to say, Okay,
I see where I've made airs, maybe more than one time,
but I can also see the person that I become,
(39:25):
and I'm telling you, Michelle becoming someone who is committed
to being sober not easy, you know, taking that ultimated
moment where so many people would have just had the
new jerk reaction of who are you right? And listening,
you know, following your faith and coming back to it
even when you've left it. I mean, that is courage
(39:45):
if I've ever seen it. And that is a great
example of what it means to live full out, which
is why we have you here so so I really
they want to say again thank you for being on
today's show and you know, being a a role model
for those of us who fall that we can pick
ourselves up and start over and start that new chapter.
(40:07):
And we're going to keep in our eye on you
and keep cheering you on as well, and for everybody else,
just like Michelle, if you've got a story within you,
we'd love to hear from you and have you on
as a guest. Just reach out to us at connect
at livingfollout dot com. Let us know what you went through,
how you got through it, what you learned, and don't
forget to give your contact info. Michelle, thank you so
(40:30):
much again for being on the show. You are truly
a blessing. Thank you, Nancy, and again, everybody think about
where you are in your life. What chapter are you
in right now? Are you ready to turn that page?
Are you ready to stop saying well one day? Are
you ready to let go to the wood of show goodahs?
Today is the day that you step out there and
(40:52):
live full out.
Speaker 22 (41:06):
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(41:49):
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Speaker 23 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
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(42:25):
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Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information.
(42:57):
A message from the US Food and Drug admans.
Speaker 11 (43:01):
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Speaker 4 (43:06):
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Wow, your story is so interesting.
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Speaker 6 (43:42):
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This conversation gives me hope.
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It gives me a lot of hope to take a
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Speaker 8 (44:02):
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(44:54):
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Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to turning the pages of your life
and starting new chapters, actually get excited about it. Know
that whatever you have done in terms of times you've
failed or disappointments, you know what, it's okay to leave
them in the past turn a new page. You are
the author of your life. You literally get to write
the narrative of how the story ends, Where does it go?
(45:24):
Who are the supporting characters? That's right, This is the
day that you step out there, take action and live
full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Thank you again for joining us today. I'm Nancy and
the Living Full Out Show, and we've been talking about
chapters of your life and when this theme kind of
came up for this show today, it just really actually
hits home to me because, well you all may not know,
we have so many people that apply to be on
this show and from all over the world, and I
(46:19):
ultimately get to do prep calls with different guests that
come on to really get to know their story in detail,
not memorizing, not scripting. Our conversations are fluid and beautiful,
but I want to make sure that I understand their
heartbreaking moments but also the wins in their life. And
(46:40):
as I do these calls with the guests, it's so interesting.
They almost feel like it's a therapy session because we
walk through their life and they're able to kind of
section it out like chapters and see, wow, you know
I at five years old a lot like I was
at thirty years old. And so I just empower you
(47:02):
to at some point slow down your car of life.
I want you to take a moment, whether it's over
a holiday or you know, maybe make a vacation for yourself,
a staycation at home just you, and I want you
to journal. I want you to either write it out
or get a voice recorder and speak it out, because
(47:24):
life will go so fast, and before you know it,
in a blink of an eye, you'll be decades down
the road and you'll wish you had that time to reflect,
to be proud of yourself. And even when I look
at my own life, I think to myself, well, going
blind with retinitis pigmentosa, my eye condition, was not what
(47:47):
I envisioned for my life when I was ten and
got diagnosed at sixteen. But now down the line, later
here in my life, I look back and I think, wow,
you know, it's it was all part of the plan.
You know, in any good novel, in any good movie,
there's rifts, there's tension, there's traumas, there's heartbreak, and that
(48:11):
is how life is supposed to be. I look at
people who I coach, you reach out to me, and
they literally come to me, and they're depressed, they're sad,
they're anxious, and I'm thinking there's something that's happened in
their life that's triggering them, that was traumatic. And as
I unpeel the onion, I realize they haven't had anything.
(48:33):
And sometimes for those who have never had to be resilient,
who have never had to ride a traumatic wave in life,
they actually are the ones that feel a little bit
more like they're lacking, like they're desiring, like they're wishing
that they had that moment to be a hero in
their life. So I want us today to stop looking
(48:57):
at our fears as scary. I want us to stop
looking at the times that we have failed, that we've
made a mistake as a disappointment, and rather look at
those as badges of honor. You know, even if you
have a health condition like mine, you know, I look
at going legally blind actually as a badge of honor.
(49:18):
I'm like, you know what, woo, I don't need sight,
And it's kind of interesting because I can prove to
myself just how independent and things I can do without it,
and it's not about what other people think. I literally
get such joy out of, you know, driving a golf
cart blind and driving a wave runner blind. You know
(49:41):
all those things I've done and do, and you know
I still live to live to tell the story today.
Speaker 5 (49:46):
Right.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
But I think sometimes we need those moments in life.
They help make us better. I tell my team all
the time when when they have a moment where they
maybe spell something wrong or they send something wrong, and
it's this erh you know that kind of yucky moment.
I call that a gulp moment. A gulp moment are
good moments? Are the moments where we've got that tension
(50:09):
in our throat, we're thinking to ourselves, oh gosh, you know,
I wish I hadn't. But those are the moments that
make us better. And my promise to you and my
guest when they sign up to come and share their
story on the show, their promise to you is to
support you, to be by your side, to give you
maybe a way to look at a situation differently than
(50:31):
you're currently seeing it. I also want you to feel
free to go to livingfullout dot com. We have on
there the Personal Development boot Camp. And the truth is
sometimes we need to get a course, we need to
take a life class so that we can go chapter
by chapter in such a course and peel away the
(50:53):
different parts of our life and almost reset life in
a way that we want it. That's why when I
started this segment, I wanted you to really take a pause,
take that staycation, because if you allow yourself to just
keep going and going and going, you're never going to
have that moment to take that pause and say, you know,
(51:14):
what ah this person in my life? Why am I
still friends with them? You know, you just do it
because you're so busy and because it's routine. But when
you're able to kind of sit and really observe and
analyze if that person brings you joy or doesn't, it
can be a release. Or maybe it's your job that
you don't enjoy, or your partner, or maybe it's your
(51:37):
own habits and routines that you need to shake up
and do something that's really going to allow you to thrive.
The great thing is the power is in your hands.
You have the ability to take that action. Also, I
know that sometimes we need motivation when we're at the gym,
when we're in the car, that is the time that
we're reflecting the most. So remember to go to the
(52:00):
app store get the Living Full Out Show app. It's
free and we'll be there every step of the way
in your journey. And like I said, take a walk,
listen to the show and learn something new. I believe
in you, and as always, here's to all of you
taking action, stepping out there living your best life as
you live full out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to The Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfullout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Silari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Silari, and today we're me talking about
the chapters in your life and just how we can
turn that new page and we really can start over.
We can also flip through the novel of our life
and see where we've grown, and we're going to talk
a lot about those concepts today. In fact, our inspirational
(00:41):
guests coming up in our next segment, Michelle Hausbeck has
had many different chapters, and you'll know what I mean
by that. It's going to feel like we're jumping over
many different topics within her life's journey. But within there
are so many good inspirational moments that I really can't
wait to share with you. Also, all of our guests
truely have little morsels of insights that I even sit
(01:04):
here and when I'm interviewing them, I'm like, Wow, I'm
going to apply that or I never thought about it
that way. So we really encourage you to go back
and listen to more of our episodes. If you want,
you can go to the app store and get the
Living Full Out Show app. It's free and listen to
us on the go, Or you can just go to
Livingfullout dot com. All of the episodes are right there
(01:25):
waiting for you.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Now.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I'm getting more from our producer that we do have
a listener on the line. Let's go check in with them. Hello,
and welcome to The Living Full Out Show.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Hi, how are you?
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Thank you so much, I'm good. How can I help
you today?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Sort of a question. I'm one of four sisters. I'm
the second of four sisters, and my entire life, I
feel like I've tried really hard to have a good
relationship with them, but there always seems to be some
sort of an issue. And I feel like the older
I get, and you know, the older they ye, it's
(02:00):
just taking a toll on me more mentally and physically,
because I feel like we're at a stage in our
lives now that we should just kind of enjoy each
other and be open with each other. And I'm just
kind of wondering if you could give me some insight
into how to navigate some of those issues.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
You know what, I really understand, I really do. I too,
am one of two three daughters in the family, and
one lives really far away. We rarely see her, and
one lives only two hours for me, see her all
the time, talk all the time, and so it is
hard when you long to have a relationship. But maybe
that other person is rarely available by phone, maybe they
(02:41):
live far away, and just overall, maybe your worlds and
communication styles and everything are different. So I get that now.
Rather than trying to tackle every relationship. When you consider
your three siblings, is there one that you'd like to
start with, like kind of first out of the gate,
nurture that a little bit more.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Oh totally. That would be the oldest, And she's actually
the one that I have the most issues with, and
ironically she's the one that I've been the closest to
my whole life.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
So let that be. Let that be the guide. So
first of all, don't try everybody at the same time.
It'll exhaust you. Right, be really intentional with that one,
and the others will be watching. So if they see
you and her start to get closer and start to
do things, it's a little easier to start to fold
the others in. But when you consider there could be
(03:37):
several riffs right, several blocks, But when you consider the
main one that keeps you to not in harmony, what
do you think that is?
Speaker 4 (03:48):
I'm not sure. I almost feel like we're very close
in age. We have children that are close in age,
and I feel like it's always kind of been a
competition on her end, is what it kind of seems like.
And I think in a lot of ways she looks
she does look up to me, but it's almost not
(04:08):
in a healthy way. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Even though you're the younger one, she looks up.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
To you right right?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And what in an ideal scenario, what do you want
from her or need from her?
Speaker 4 (04:23):
I just need for her to just be, you know,
happy for me when you know good things happen in
a good way, and not kind of put herself in
my position wanting to have the same things. You know,
I want to be able to go to her. There
are times where I won't share everything with her because
(04:45):
I just don't feel like she's present for that. So
I would love to be able to just be able
to share everything with her. You know, she's my older sister.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
So so here's some thoughts I have. So and the
reason why I asked that question is everything that you're
saying that you need from her makes perfect sense. Just
be proud of me, you know, say I'm doing a
good job in my life, or you know, be a
part of my life. Ask about what I'm doing. The
only thing about that is we're assuming then that she
(05:17):
has the emotional or space awareness, whatever you want to
call it, to do that. And I don't know your
older sister, so I can't assume all the elements of
her life nor her character who she is as a person.
But sometimes people don't have that awareness like it just
(05:39):
I mean literally, I will sit down with people and
be with them for an hour and forty five minutes
in they'll be like, so, how are you doing?
Speaker 6 (05:47):
You know?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
And that's okay. I know that they are more about them,
and when I go out with them, I go out
assuming we may never talk about me. Now does that
mean I don't to be their friend? No, so you
kind of had to set the expectation. I don't know.
What I don't know is if she has that ability,
(06:09):
and so you want to set yourself up for success,
meaning that you're asking her to number one, have enough
awareness to ask about you, which seems like common sense,
but again depends on how she functions in life. And
then we're asking her to also have the awareness to
say I'm proud of you, good job. And again I'm
(06:31):
not even sure how many people she does that with
in her whole life at all. You know, kids, partners, friends,
name it, and so so we have to be careful
sometimes we don't want to let people off the hook.
You want to grow with her, But I really would empower.
We've come so far now with technology and therapy, you know,
(06:54):
I would consider either getting a life coach or a
therapist and seeing if she'd be open to like a
remote session once a month to build that bond. Or
if you guys live locally, you know something in person.
I really think it's going to take a third person
observing the two of you to neutrally call out what
(07:18):
you both aren't seeing. That's just my hunch because if
you have that neutral third party, and it's not another sibling,
it's not a spouse, it's not a friend, No one
no one related to either of you, then that person
can say, you know, because your sister might say, oh,
I compliment her all the time, but that third person
(07:39):
might be able to say, actually, I've never heard it
once in eight sessions right right now. Equally, though, we
don't know what she needs from you, and that's a
question mark to be answered. And the beauty is, as
long as you have that desire, you are willing to
(08:01):
do the work. And do you think she is as well?
Speaker 4 (08:05):
I think she would be. I think she would be.
I don't know, like you said, as far as her
being able to to do what do you think her
block is?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Is it a financial block? Is it a time block?
Speaker 4 (08:21):
I just think it's just she just can't get faster
herself basically, you know what I mean. She's just she
gets hung up on certain things, and you know, instead
of instead of being happy for anyone, it's always you know,
she's thinking about, like what what she could do like
in that same position, and it's just it's never from
(08:43):
a good place. And I just don't know if she's
capable of doing it. I mean maybe if it's shown
to her that, you know, if we see both sides,
maybe I'll see things differently too well, what.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
You could do. What you could do is number one,
do what I suggest, get a life coach, get a
therapist remotely in person, and maybe take it upon yourself
if you can afford to do so, pay for three
to four sessions like take every block barrier away and
let that person observe the two of you together. But
(09:17):
then number two, you have to decide if you're going
to be okay with having her not fulfill your needs,
but still having her in your life. And I would
look at it more not like she's selfish, not like
she's mean. She just might not have that tool, she
(09:37):
might not have that ability. And the fact that you do,
the fact that we're having this conversation, you should lift
your head high today and walk away being really proud
of who you are. It's not so much about what
your sister thinks. Doesn't even matter what Nancy thinks, but
it's all about when you look in the mirror, are
(09:58):
you being who you want to be in the world,
which I believe you are. So I think there's a
capacity to have a relationship with your sister. You just
might have to let go of your needs and ones
and kind of let it be. It's kind of like
a rubber band, right. If you stretch the rubber band
and try to make it do things it doesn't want
to do, it could break. But in rest, that rubber
(10:20):
band is lovely helpful. Okay, so thanks, not that we're
calling your sister rubber band, but you know what I mean.
But thank you so much for calling in and really
really good, good question, and for everybody else. When we
come back, we're going to be joined by Michelle Houseback,
(10:40):
and again I really want you to lean in and
listen to her story because today we are talking about
the chapters of our life. Just like with family members,
we might have to rewrite a new narrative of how
we relate to them, you know, or what we want
our future to look like. But truly we can all
live full out.
Speaker 7 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined, And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org brought to
you by the AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 8 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 6 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 9 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 8 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 6 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistake.
Speaker 10 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 8 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 10 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have prediabetes?
Speaker 8 (12:42):
Dot org?
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Warning the cap is loose on that cat young.
Speaker 8 (12:47):
Oh don't wait.
Speaker 10 (12:48):
You have the power to change the outcome. Visit do
I have prediabetes dot org today. That's do I have
Prediabetes dot org? Brought to you by the AD Council
and its pre diabetes awareness partners.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Hehu oh brah, that's buzzed.
Speaker 11 (13:01):
Oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 12 (13:02):
He's starting with the woots.
Speaker 9 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 13 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 5 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying, when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 10 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too, know your buzzed warning signs,
call for a ride when it's time to go home.
Speaker 8 (13:25):
Buzz Driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True, You're out.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
You got me.
Speaker 14 (13:35):
Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 15 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's nfamilyfire dot Org, brought to you by N Familyfire
Brady and the AD Council.
Speaker 16 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the lingo.
Speaker 13 (14:06):
Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 16 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Think you're rad just the same.
Speaker 16 (14:47):
To learn more, visit adopt us Kids dot org, a
public service announcement brought to you by the US Department
of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids, and the
AD Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Soilary As
a life coach. Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You can ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Thank you so much for joining us today. My name
is Nancy Silari and this is a Living Full Out
show and today we're talking about chapters in your life.
And as promised, I brought our inspirational guest today, Michelle
Hauseback truely has been through so many chapters. As I promise,
we're going to dig into all of them. So welcome
Michelle to the show.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
Thank you, Narcy.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Happy to be here, oh so happy to have you.
And when I say happy boy, that is who you
were as a little taught you were just energetic, social,
an only child, so truly the apple of your parents'
eyes and close to them, and just had really I
think a childhood that so many of us long for.
(16:17):
And I know that through your teenage years you were
standing up for people and still being that joyful soul,
you know, dabbling with a little bit of drinking here
and there, you know, in that social way. But when
you turned nineteen, kind of everything kind of came together,
that social side of yourself with kind of that newfound freedom,
(16:40):
kind of hit a crossroad. What did you find out
about yourself? Kind of the behaviors of who you were?
Speaker 5 (16:49):
Well, as you said, I had there. I've always been
a very social person, and I think as many of
us do. Through the high school of your years, we
kind of dabble with, you know, drinking and just hanging
out and try a new thing. But when I was nineteen,
(17:09):
I moved out on my own, and you know, living
in Las Vegas, one of the activities is going out
to whether it's nightclubs.
Speaker 17 (17:21):
Or the bars, and I actually had a fake ID
and I kind of realized that, you know, the ability
to do things to their fullest started to apply to
my drinking.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
I kind of wore like a badge of honor if
I could, you know, drink you under the table or
be the last man standing.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
And you know, you did wear that badge with honor.
And when you turned to twenty one, and obviously you'd
all even drinking, but you you developed a new habit,
something you hadn't done until you turned twenty one? What
was that?
Speaker 5 (18:09):
Well, So on my twenty first birthday, I was actually
at a bowling or by Bold, So I was in
a bowling league, and after we were done, it was
actually at a Santa Fe station here. I was so
excited to stick my first twenty dollars bill into a
video poker machine. It's something I had been waiting for,
(18:31):
and so I did, and to my surprise and shock
and enjoyment, I won. So I think I won like
aces as a kicker, but I won about eight hundred
bucks on my first twenty and I thought, huh, this
is awesome.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Okay, who doesn't love that?
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Yeah. So that that, unfortunately, though, kicked off about a
four year stint of gambling, which turned into a pretty
nasty gambling problem. I won for about the first year,
which I still think back in you know, it's pretty incredible.
(19:16):
But then I started losing and the cycle kind of
began of chasing the money.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
You know, it's it's really I mean you I kind
of almost picture you like, you know, kind of a
boss in a movie. I mean you're you're there in
the bar and you're like you know, you know, I'll
take a marker, and what is a marker?
Speaker 5 (19:42):
So a marker was something I don't think they do
it anymore. But so I had developed pretty good friendship
with a lot of the bartenders and the patrons of
a bar that I used to go to quite a bit.
It's kind of like cheers, right, everyone knows your name.
And I discussed, I know, a couple of years into it,
(20:03):
that you could get markers, which is essentially like an iou.
So I could be gambling and just ran out of
money and say, hey, bartender, friend, can I get a
hundred bucks? And they would give it to you and
they would just, you know, write it down on a
piece of paper. Okay, Michelle, you know one hundred bucks,
(20:23):
but can you mind didn't stop at one hundred bucks?
Speaker 14 (20:27):
No?
Speaker 5 (20:28):
No.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
And so between the markers, the IOUs and then even
the creativeness, I'm gonna give you points for a creativeness
you know, you know, getting you know, cash advances on
credit cards, different things you did eventually get to a
point where you couldn't pay it back. How much in
debt were.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
You I was in debt north of twenty five thousand
dollars at the age of going to be twenty five.
So at the tail end of twenty four years old,
I feel found myself in a spot where there were
no more cash advances to be and I truthfully, I
(21:08):
was afraid that I would have a night where I
would have markers and have no way to pay them,
because along with the gambling problem, I was drinking pretty
pretty heavily too. At this time, coping mechanisms were drinking
and gambling, and so it was this cycle. But I
(21:30):
got I found my place, or I found myself in
a place of what I would I guess describe as
rock bottom, and I started having some pretty scary thoughts
of how to get myself out of debt. Well, I
never acted on anything I knew just you know, having
those thoughts was pretty dangerous. So I knew that I
(21:54):
needed to get help and be honest about where I
was at.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
And the hard part is who you needed to be
honest with was a yourself, but also your parents. How
did that go?
Speaker 5 (22:11):
Well, you know, have you ever found I'm sure many
listeners have found theirselfs in the spot of like, oh
my gosh, how did they get here? And I found
myself over at my parents' house sitting cross legged on
the floor looking up at them sitting in their chairs.
(22:33):
You know, I just felt like a little five year
old child that knew I was going to get in
trouble for what I was going to have to tell them.
I can still remember the feeling sitting there, looking up
at them and not knowing how it was going to go,
and just being terrified of their response. But I told them.
(22:57):
I told them that, you know, I have a gambling problem.
And I'm sure there was obviously some air of disappointment,
but they weren't mad, which shocked me. And over the
course of the next few days there were just some
really good conversations of why and how, and you know,
(23:23):
I didn't have to tell them how much, which that
was a little bit of a shock to them.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Well, well, and I'm proud of you for actually taking
that moment, and I think the audience would agree. We
feel that moment and that's a hard one. But you
came clean. You turned a new page in, you know,
a new chapter. So stay with us, Michelle everyone when
we come back, and we be learning more about her
(23:47):
story and more about how she strives to live full
out every day.
Speaker 12 (24:03):
Today in school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I
learned that no one likes me. In English, I learned
that I'm disgusting, and in physics, I learned that I'm
a loser.
Speaker 14 (24:16):
Today, in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In history today, I learned that I'm trying. Today.
Speaker 18 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 14 (24:38):
That no one In biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid, And in math I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 12 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 8 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 19 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 20 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 21 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it?
Speaker 14 (26:05):
You do.
Speaker 15 (26:06):
That's who.
Speaker 21 (26:07):
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear never give
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. For more information,
(26:30):
visit safercar dot gov slash kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 13 (27:04):
It's slipping coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 5 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 9 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner. I get it,
flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
(27:30):
with a monitor.
Speaker 14 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 19 (27:36):
Yeah, it's slipping coffit check, cop to doctor, knowlne share.
Speaker 9 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power learn more at Manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfullout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Welcome back. I'm Nancy Silari and this is the Living
Full Out Show, and today we're talking about chapters in
your life. And truly we need to know that if
we have a bad chapter, that we have the ability
to turn that page, that we can start over, that
we can have, you know, see our future with a
fresh pair of eyes and our inspirational guest today, Michelle hasback,
(28:45):
has done that several different times in her life, as
she will admit. So i'd like to welcome Michelle back
to the show.
Speaker 5 (28:52):
Thank you, Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
So I want to thank you again you for being
so honest and when I'd say that you've had several
chapters we talked about, you know, the binge drinking. We've
talked about, you know, falling into gambling and needing to
come clean to your parents. I know you had a
chapter of your life where you were, you know, married
(29:14):
for two and a half years, and that was a
rough marriage, toxic in different ways. And even within that marriage,
you had to file bankruptcy, you had to move back
in with your parents. I mean, one of the things
that has constantly happened in your life is change. But
(29:34):
amongst those hard times, and why we're talking today about
you know, chapters in our life is if all we
have are just those yucky chapters, then ugh, that sounds
so heavy. And what I'd love about this next chapter
of your life is when you were you know, needing
kind of a new chapter of something good to come
(29:56):
into your world, something good did come into your world.
You fell in love again. You had a significant other.
It was someone you had been friends with and and
you had been dating, and he had a little five
year old boy, and really life was good, it was
stable and happy, and unfortunately tragedy found you and he
(30:18):
had drowned. He'd gone to a lake, and you know,
many different circumstances unfolded, but ultimately that person, your person
had drowned. And I don't know, Michelle, how do you
with all those I guess addicted behaviors, who had of
(30:40):
drinking and gambling and you know, everybody having you know,
times where we have negative thoughts. I don't know what
you do in that place.
Speaker 5 (30:53):
Well, it's a tough place. Three and a half years
into our relationship, that happened. He had gone out into
the lake, and you know, he drowned, and then he
was missing for about fourteen hours. And I think, well,
(31:17):
I was in a state of shock obviously for a while,
and grief is a funny, little, funny little thing. I
remember it was about three and a half months after
he had passed away, and I found myself on day four.
(31:39):
I was I hadn't gotten out of bed for about
four days, just you know, I'd gone to the bathroom
and said the dogs, and I just thought, how am
I here? And I can't live like this. It's obviously
a whole tornado of emotions that I had known her
(32:00):
experience and really couldn't even name at the time that
I attribute God to getting me out of bed. I
think he actually came into my body and moved me
out of the covers and forced me to shower and
make a phone call to a therapist. And I remember
(32:23):
walking into her and saying, Okay, I think there's like
eight or nine right stages of grief, and I think
I've accomplished three of them, so I have, you know,
six or seven to go. What's the timeframe? How do
I do this and how do I get over it?
And she kind of laughed at me and said, Michelle,
(32:45):
grief doesn't work that way. It has no timeline, there's
no structure to it, and you can't just get over it.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
At that point, do we find a different therapist? Okay,
I don't have it?
Speaker 5 (33:00):
Im sorry, eliash Shell strolling Nature, which did not like
that answer.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Well, but one of the things that I appreciate about
you is you know you are an inaction person. Even
though you were not in action for so many months.
You did decide to get a roommate. The house was
too quiet. And when you got that roommate who worked
a nine to five and you worked from home, her
brother came to visit, and one thing led to another
(33:30):
and you found yourself in a new romance. And that
he moved, he went back home because he was just visiting,
and that became a long distance romance. And then he
came out and he ended up moving in with you,
and I mean you were back, you were back to
being happy. The problem is you were still drinking and
(33:52):
there was a time when you went to a bar.
He couldn't find you, he couldn't reach you. He finally
found you, so he gave you an ultimatum.
Speaker 5 (34:02):
What was that? Yeah, So I called this the ultimatum
that saved my life through our courtship both across country
and then even when he moved in with me, I
constantly thought, you know, what is this guy doing. He
could talk about seeing someone at their worst. I was
(34:24):
still in the mess of grief, and you know, using
drinking as a as a coping mechanism. For all the
the good tools I had in my toolbox through therapy,
I still was using the drinking much more heavily now
to get rid of the feeling. And then, you know,
(34:46):
dating somebody in the midst of grief, that's a whole
other story with you know, one shoe in one life
and one shoe and the other. But he's he saw
something in me and decided to move out here and
give it a try, and I'm so thankful that he
did so. That morning, after I had had an episode,
as I call it, when he had to play the
(35:07):
words Michelle game, he looked at me and said, you know,
I love you so much, but if you continue drinking,
I cannot stay. And I thought, wow, I am not
a fan of ultimatums, and you know, going through what
(35:28):
I had gone through, I thought it was a pretty
decent excuse to, you know, drink. So I always had
my defensive walls up. But instead of coming back at
him defensively, God interceded into my heart and said, Michelle,
you don't want to live your life like this. You
(35:49):
have a blessing right in front of you and a
new life. Don't waste it. So out of my mouth came,
I will stop drinking. And he did not believe me.
I did not believe me because I had no idea
how I was going to do this.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
But Michelle, you've been sober nownced for how long?
Speaker 5 (36:14):
So nine years this past March.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Wooo? That is so that is so great Because that there,
it's so easy to just say I'll just have one,
or I'll just have a sip or just tonight or
just for this one wedding occasion or whatever.
Speaker 15 (36:34):
You know.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
So I am so so proud of you. Now, you
did end up getting married, the two of you and
are together today, and he, you know, kind of lives
a sober life along with you. But you know, one
of the things that I think is very honest about
your story goes back to kind of something sometimes these
(36:56):
yucky feelings like disappointing. And I know one of your
biggest fears is that you're going to disappoint people, whether
it's your parents, whether it's not wanting to tell people
right away that you were going to get up drinking
so you didn't want to let them down. I think
that's so relatable. How do you kind of calm those
triggers every day?
Speaker 5 (37:23):
Well, there's a couple things. So number one is definitely
my faith. I've kind of left God before and come
back to him, but he never leaves me, thank goodness.
A lot of it is my faith and relying on
him and going to him. But I also look back
(37:46):
at what I have overcome and how I was able
to get through. But I also I look at how
people reacted. You know, what we build up in our
heads as how other people are going to react sometimes
is such this grand story and untrue. I don't think
(38:09):
we give people enough credit sometimes because the majority of
the situations where I did have to come cleaner, be honest,
or somebody obviously saw what was happening and wanted to
help and be there for me, I was met with
a lot of love and understanding and just true wanting
(38:33):
to support me and guide me through it and be
there as you know, my support system. And I just
have to remember that, you know, even when people come
to me with hard saying, disappointment really isn't ever in
the emotion bucket, you know. I think people's first reaction
(38:56):
is really to try to understand and help, So I
have to remind myself of that often I'm having those fears.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Well, I actually think that's really full circle. And I
know there's more chapters in your memoir coming right, there's
more ahead of you. But I think that's all we
can ask from ourselves is to be able to say, Okay,
I see where I've made airs, maybe more than one time,
but I can also see the person that I become,
(39:25):
and I'm telling you, Michelle becoming someone who is committed
to being sober not easy, you know, taking that ultimated
moment where so many people would have just had the
new jerk reaction of who are you right? And listening,
you know, following your faith and coming back to it
even when you've left it. I mean, that is courage
(39:45):
if I've ever seen it. And that is a great
example of what it means to live full out, which
is why we have you here so so I really
they want to say again thank you for being on
today's show and you know, being a a role model
for those of us who fall that we can pick
ourselves up and start over and start that new chapter.
(40:07):
And we're going to keep in our eye on you
and keep cheering you on as well, and for everybody else,
just like Michelle, if you've got a story within you,
we'd love to hear from you and have you on
as a guest. Just reach out to us at connect
at livingfollout dot com. Let us know what you went through,
how you got through it, what you learned, and don't
forget to give your contact info. Michelle, thank you so
(40:30):
much again for being on the show. You are truly
a blessing. Thank you, Nancy, and again, everybody think about
where you are in your life. What chapter are you
in right now? Are you ready to turn that page?
Are you ready to stop saying well one day? Are
you ready to let go to the wood of show goodahs?
Today is the day that you step out there and
(40:52):
live full out.
Speaker 22 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months,
they're combining vowels and consonants talk, By nine months they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months
(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, man,
especially if there's no babbling at all. Little to no
babbling by twelve months or later is just one of
the possible signs of autism and children. Early screening and
intervention can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a
(41:49):
world of possibilities. Take the first step at autism speaks
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
Autism Speaks and the Aduncil.
Speaker 23 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun Protection Factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum on
the label. That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B
rays are block. UVA rays age the skin, UVB rays
(42:25):
burn and both cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't.
Speaker 6 (42:29):
Count if you use it wrong.
Speaker 23 (42:31):
Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day.
Speaker 5 (42:33):
Wrong.
Speaker 23 (42:34):
Eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope, anytime you're outside
UB rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information.
(42:57):
A message from the US Food and Drug admans.
Speaker 11 (43:01):
Right now, our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 4 (43:06):
I gotta tell you, I was nervous to talk to
someone so different than me.
Speaker 6 (43:10):
Me too, but I'm glad you are.
Speaker 11 (43:12):
Love has no labels and one small step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 11 (43:24):
Yeah, when people actually sit down, talk and listen to
one another. They can break down boundaries and connect as
human beings. At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash one
Small Step, you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations
and find simple tools to start a conversation of your own.
Speaker 6 (43:42):
I know one thing.
Speaker 5 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 11 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation. At Love has
No Labels dot com slash one Small Step, a message
from story Core Love has No Labels and the ad Council.
Speaker 8 (44:02):
All right, grew, Let's get her dug.
Speaker 6 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand, I'm planning
that tree. You Remember.
Speaker 24 (44:10):
No matter how large or small your digging project may be,
no matter how urban or rural, you must always call
eight one one before any digging project. Eight one to
one is our national one call number, alerting your local
utility companies to come out and mark any lines they
have near your dig site. You must call eight one
(44:32):
to one at least two to three business days before
any digging project so you can avoid hitting our essential
buried utilities. This includes natural gas and petroleum pipelines, electra
communication cables, and water and sewer lines. So before you
do this or this, make sure you do this for
(44:54):
digging projects big or small. Make the call to eight
one to one brought to you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to turning the pages of your life
and starting new chapters, actually get excited about it. Know
that whatever you have done in terms of times you've
failed or disappointments, you know what, it's okay to leave
them in the past turn a new page. You are
the author of your life. You literally get to write
the narrative of how the story ends, Where does it go?
(45:24):
Who are the supporting characters? That's right, This is the
day that you step out there, take action and live
full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Thank you again for joining us today. I'm Nancy and
the Living Full Out Show, and we've been talking about
chapters of your life and when this theme kind of
came up for this show today, it just really actually
hits home to me because, well you all may not know,
we have so many people that apply to be on
this show and from all over the world, and I
(46:19):
ultimately get to do prep calls with different guests that
come on to really get to know their story in detail,
not memorizing, not scripting. Our conversations are fluid and beautiful,
but I want to make sure that I understand their
heartbreaking moments but also the wins in their life. And
(46:40):
as I do these calls with the guests, it's so interesting.
They almost feel like it's a therapy session because we
walk through their life and they're able to kind of
section it out like chapters and see, wow, you know
I at five years old a lot like I was
at thirty years old. And so I just empower you
(47:02):
to at some point slow down your car of life.
I want you to take a moment, whether it's over
a holiday or you know, maybe make a vacation for yourself,
a staycation at home just you, and I want you
to journal. I want you to either write it out
or get a voice recorder and speak it out, because
(47:24):
life will go so fast, and before you know it,
in a blink of an eye, you'll be decades down
the road and you'll wish you had that time to reflect,
to be proud of yourself. And even when I look
at my own life, I think to myself, well, going
blind with retinitis pigmentosa, my eye condition, was not what
(47:47):
I envisioned for my life when I was ten and
got diagnosed at sixteen. But now down the line, later
here in my life, I look back and I think, wow,
you know, it's it was all part of the plan.
You know, in any good novel, in any good movie,
there's rifts, there's tension, there's traumas, there's heartbreak, and that
(48:11):
is how life is supposed to be. I look at
people who I coach, you reach out to me, and
they literally come to me, and they're depressed, they're sad,
they're anxious, and I'm thinking there's something that's happened in
their life that's triggering them, that was traumatic. And as
I unpeel the onion, I realize they haven't had anything.
(48:33):
And sometimes for those who have never had to be resilient,
who have never had to ride a traumatic wave in life,
they actually are the ones that feel a little bit
more like they're lacking, like they're desiring, like they're wishing
that they had that moment to be a hero in
their life. So I want us today to stop looking
(48:57):
at our fears as scary. I want us to stop
looking at the times that we have failed, that we've
made a mistake as a disappointment, and rather look at
those as badges of honor. You know, even if you
have a health condition like mine, you know, I look
at going legally blind actually as a badge of honor.
(49:18):
I'm like, you know what, woo, I don't need sight,
And it's kind of interesting because I can prove to
myself just how independent and things I can do without it,
and it's not about what other people think. I literally
get such joy out of, you know, driving a golf
cart blind and driving a wave runner blind. You know
(49:41):
all those things I've done and do, and you know
I still live to live to tell the story today.
Speaker 5 (49:46):
Right.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
But I think sometimes we need those moments in life.
They help make us better. I tell my team all
the time when when they have a moment where they
maybe spell something wrong or they send something wrong, and
it's this erh you know that kind of yucky moment.
I call that a gulp moment. A gulp moment are
good moments? Are the moments where we've got that tension
(50:09):
in our throat, we're thinking to ourselves, oh gosh, you know,
I wish I hadn't. But those are the moments that
make us better. And my promise to you and my
guest when they sign up to come and share their
story on the show, their promise to you is to
support you, to be by your side, to give you
maybe a way to look at a situation differently than
(50:31):
you're currently seeing it. I also want you to feel
free to go to livingfullout dot com. We have on
there the Personal Development boot Camp. And the truth is
sometimes we need to get a course, we need to
take a life class so that we can go chapter
by chapter in such a course and peel away the
(50:53):
different parts of our life and almost reset life in
a way that we want it. That's why when I
started this segment, I wanted you to really take a pause,
take that staycation, because if you allow yourself to just
keep going and going and going, you're never going to
have that moment to take that pause and say, you know,
(51:14):
what ah this person in my life? Why am I
still friends with them? You know, you just do it
because you're so busy and because it's routine. But when
you're able to kind of sit and really observe and
analyze if that person brings you joy or doesn't, it
can be a release. Or maybe it's your job that
you don't enjoy, or your partner, or maybe it's your
(51:37):
own habits and routines that you need to shake up
and do something that's really going to allow you to thrive.
The great thing is the power is in your hands.
You have the ability to take that action. Also, I
know that sometimes we need motivation when we're at the gym,
when we're in the car, that is the time that
we're reflecting the most. So remember to go to the
(52:00):
app store get the Living Full Out Show app. It's
free and we'll be there every step of the way
in your journey. And like I said, take a walk,
listen to the show and learn something new. I believe
in you, and as always, here's to all of you
taking action, stepping out there living your best life as
you live full out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to The Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfullout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
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