July 12, 2025 • 52 mins
Episode 2025.11.21
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to stay focused. Perhaps you are juggling two jobs. Maybe you are raising kids while managing a business. Join Nancy as she discusses how to best balance commitments.
Nancy responds to emails from Steve and Kim. Steve admits he is not living in alignment with what he tells others and feels like a fraud. Nancy encourages him to let go of looking good and forgive himself. Kim, a single mom juggling multiple jobs, feels she has no time to chase her dreams. Nancy advises her to find something she enjoys and allows her to feel alive. Tune in to hear how being truthful to others leads you to live a happy life.
Our inspirational guest Dr. Tony Alessandra had to stay focused multiple times during his life. After quitting his construction job in college, he immediately joined a cookware selling business where he found his passion for sales. A few years later, the dean of the college he worked at gave him an ultimatum of teaching or his speaking job. Through his choice and important advice he followed along the way, he embarked on a successful sales training career. Tune in to the Living Full Out show to hear how each closed door in Tony’s life led to new opportunities.
Perhaps you have an inconsistent sleep schedule. Try having a more balanced day by having a better plan of what you would like accomplished. Having set goals will lead you to stay focused and live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to stay focused. Perhaps you are juggling two jobs. Maybe you are raising kids while managing a business. Join Nancy as she discusses how to best balance commitments.
Nancy responds to emails from Steve and Kim. Steve admits he is not living in alignment with what he tells others and feels like a fraud. Nancy encourages him to let go of looking good and forgive himself. Kim, a single mom juggling multiple jobs, feels she has no time to chase her dreams. Nancy advises her to find something she enjoys and allows her to feel alive. Tune in to hear how being truthful to others leads you to live a happy life.
Our inspirational guest Dr. Tony Alessandra had to stay focused multiple times during his life. After quitting his construction job in college, he immediately joined a cookware selling business where he found his passion for sales. A few years later, the dean of the college he worked at gave him an ultimatum of teaching or his speaking job. Through his choice and important advice he followed along the way, he embarked on a successful sales training career. Tune in to the Living Full Out show to hear how each closed door in Tony’s life led to new opportunities.
Perhaps you have an inconsistent sleep schedule. Try having a more balanced day by having a better plan of what you would like accomplished. Having set goals will lead you to stay focused and live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Silari, and today we're going to be
talking about being focused in life. And I know sometimes
it's easier said than done. These distractions are very, very
compelling sometimes, but we want to find ways to block
that out, to really be intentional and focused on our dreams,
(00:41):
our goals, but more so the action steps to make
them happen. So we're going to be talking about that
also in our next segment. Oh my goodness, doctor Tony Alexandra,
what a great I mean human. I say that lovingly.
I tell my crew this all the time. I am
a fan of people who I think are just such
good givers and teachers amongst all of us, and I
(01:05):
think anyone can be that mentor for another. But I
really appreciate how Tony helps us see people look at
their situations with that glass abundantly full feeling. And you'll
know what I mean when we meet him. He's such
a ball of energy, truly. Now, I do want to
make sure that as we move along in today's show
(01:26):
that you are always supported. Remember that you can reach
out to us at connect at livingfullout dot com. So
if you need resources, or you're just dealing with something
that's heavy on your own heart and you're wondering how
to navigate that, I'm here for you. I promise we
will read what you send us and write you back
and again, perhaps today's show will resonate with you. But
(01:49):
also think how you think of someone in your life
who needs focus and you can share this episode with them.
Make sure you go to Livingfullout dot com. All of
our episodes are waiting there for you, and just pick
all of them. Just have a day of watching the
Living Full Out Show, and I know you'll walk away
truly inspired and learning as you go. Now again, in
(02:12):
the spirit of knowing that Nancy I'm always beside you
every step of the way. When we get different emails
and letters, we try to respond first of all via
Ask Nancy. So if you've never gone to Ask Nancy
on the website definitely go there because when we get letters,
we do right back and give coaching, and that's where
(02:32):
all of that goes. However, I want to share some
with you now because I think that we can all
kind of learn from each other and what we're going through.
And the first email I want to share with you
has to do with Steve. And this is really hard
because I think a lot of times we can walk
through life, you know, almost feeling like a fraud, feeling like,
(02:54):
you know, we're an impost that we know we're talking
a certain way, but we're not in that walk, And
he's going through exactly that. And in fact, he has
built his life in such a way that he fudges
a lot, he embellishes a lot, He even drives cars
to how people think that he has more money than
(03:16):
he has, and even his family makes fun of him
and calls him out and says he's a fraud. And
I can only imagine when you're kind of locked in
that cycle, like that's the way that you run your life,
it's hard to step off of that hamster wheel sometimes
and come to a place of authenticity. But when we
(03:38):
live in a lane where we live in truth, where
we don't have to lie where we don't have to pretend.
It's actually very freeing. And so when I think of
his story and as I give feedback to him and
to all of you, it is really to look at
where in your life are you kind of you know,
coloring outside the lines. You're not really living what you're
(04:02):
telling people you are. And that might be as little
as telling people, oh my gosh, I'm working out all
the time, I'm eating, I'm dieting, but yet truly, behind
the scenes, you're eating a burger and you're not working
out at all, okay, and people will know because the
results won't be there either. And again you might say, well, Nancy,
everybody does that, everybody cheats a little bit here and there. Well,
(04:25):
do you want to be a cheater in life or
do you want to be someone that's inspiring, someone that
people look to you like. Again, you talk that talk,
you walk that walk, and you've got the results to
show it. That's the lane you want to be in,
because then you can truly look at yourself in the
mirror and be proud of who you are and proud
of how far you've come. And trust me, you know
(04:47):
every inch of every long day and sweat and pain
that got you there. And so for our writer here,
for Steve, I really just want you to let go,
let go of looking good, let go of even things
that you've done wrong in your life. Forgive yourself. That
is one of the greatest gifts that you can give
(05:09):
yourselves is to do that. And then the exciting part
is rewriting your narrative. Who you were, even if it
wasn't real, is not who you need to be or
can be in the future. You can turn that new
page anytime. But when you do that, you get to
author your story. So if you want to get into
(05:30):
a different career, one that you think you know you
can make a difference, one that is kind of in
line with your skills, your talents, your passions, let that
be the lead as you rewrite your story. Or you know,
perhaps you're looking to broaden your horizons when it comes
to having a new love in your life or friendships.
(05:51):
You know, I personally always believe that I'm looking for
you know, well, I should say I'm always putting out
applications for friendships because just and I think that I
have everybody in my life I need. There's always somebody
that comes along and I find myself saying, or have
you been my whole life? Or or I feel like,
oh my gosh, I feel like I've known you forever.
(06:12):
So don't be afraid to step out there and create
some new relationships. Now, I want to move along to
another letter here, and we've got Kim. And Kim's situation
is one where I think a lot of people are stuck.
She works multiple jobs. She's got one that she works
full time, and that takes her, you know, into an office,
(06:33):
you know, forty hours a week. And then on top
of that, she works remotely and is doing a job
in the evenings and on the weekends, and she's a
single mother. And at the end of the day, there
is no time for her, no time for her dreams,
no time for what brings her joy. Now here's the
thing in this letter that she wrote us, if I
(06:56):
was to count it up, I have no time. I
have no I have no that no, no, no, no no.
And I want everybody to think about the words that
you say. So when you say words like no, I can't,
I'll never it'll never happen, right, all those things they
(07:18):
really do resonate from your mouth to your brain. You're
like alerting your brain. Hey, listen, don't waste your time.
It's not going to work out. You're telling your heart,
who are you kidding yourself? You know you don't have
enough skills for that. And then you're basically telling your
entire body, Eh, you know, just give up, or you know,
(07:39):
start tomorrow. But tomorrow is not a given. Today is
the day that you do things that you enjoy, not tomorrow.
And also, when I think about Cam being that single
mom that you are, and I'm sure you're a great one,
are you being the best role model you can be?
Because right now you're demonstrating a lopsided life and we
(08:02):
have all been there. What is that lopsided life looks like?
It looks like at the end of every day you're
waving the flag, right It looks like at the end
of the week it blurs right into the next and
you feel just you know, like you're taking more out
of the energy bank than you're putting in. And the
(08:23):
thing is that is not only a habit that you
want to break, but you also want to make sure
that you're being a better steward for that role model
to show to your child. That you know they can
have a more balanced life. And we throw out that
word balance a lot, but balance is actually really important
(08:43):
because it is what allows us to have better sleep. Now,
I'm a fan of sleep. I buried on myself everybody
who knows me. I mean, I am a good sleeper.
But why am I a good sleeper? I'm a good
sleeper because I know the ins and outs, the sway,
the waves of my day, and I know that there's
a lot I can't control. So even today I was
(09:07):
up at four thirty am. Now I realize some people
might say, well, Nancy, that's good for you, but I'm
not a morning person a night person. Okay, then let
your day sway that way. But at the end of
the day, if you budget more time, meaning that you
get up early, or you're okay with staying up later
to get something done, then you sleep better at night
(09:28):
because you know that you're not going to have all
these loose ends, that you're not going to have them
all kind of unravel on you. And when I think
about Kim's letter here and all this nose and cants
and won'ts, I think to myself, I wonder if she
could just get up a little bit early, just a
little bit, or stay up a little bit later. And
(09:49):
that isn't more time to do more work, to do
more errands, to clean the house. It's to find something
that she would enjoy reading a book, vegging out on
the houch, watching a comedy, write something like that, something
that would allow her to escape and feel just alive.
What a concept. So truly, as we go through today's
(10:12):
show and we talk about being focused, I really want
you to think about you know, Steve, and think about Kim,
and think about where you are in your life and
are you living your best life? What story do you
need to rewrite or let go of so that you
can thrive. What new habits do you need to put
in place so that you can achieve all that you
(10:35):
need to do the key where there's need to do.
But also save a bucket of wants and desires and
passions so you can conquer those two. Now, we're going
to be giving you lots of tips and resources through
today's show, So grab your pen, your paper, let's go.
Will be coming right back after this break with our
very special guest, stay with us.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times we're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org. Brought to
you by the AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 5 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
No, no, no, no, so you can have more control.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does with early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking and eating healthier. You can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 6 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 5 (12:43):
Warning? The cap is loose on that cat young.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Oh don't wait.
Speaker 6 (12:48):
You have the power to change the outcome. Visit do
I have prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Today?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
That's do I have prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 6 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes awareness partners.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Hehu, oh brah, that's buzzed. Oh yeah, yeah, he's starting
with the woots.
Speaker 7 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 8 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 10 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too.
Speaker 6 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True what you're out?
Speaker 11 (13:34):
You got me Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 12 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's Nfamilyfire dot Org, brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the ad Council.
Speaker 13 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the.
Speaker 8 (14:05):
Lingo Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 13 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Soilary. As
a life coach, Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face being
legally blind. Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You can ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy Silarian.
This is the Living Full Out Show, and today we're
talking about being focused in life. And as I promised,
I brought you ourn inspirational guest today, doctor Tony Alexandra, who, honestly,
I gotta tell you, ever since I met him, I
feel like I've become wiser. I feel like I've grown
(15:53):
a little taller, and I'm not a very tall person,
so to feel tall is a good thing and comedy
temperament of wisdom, comedy, sincereness, generosity. I could go on
and on, but I'd rather have you meet him and
let's unpack his story and see how being focused in
(16:13):
his life has allowed him to become that man, someone
he's very proud of. Today, i'd like to welcome Tony
to the show.
Speaker 14 (16:23):
Thank you, Nancy, really really honored to be here.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Ah well, I could have gone on and on about you,
but I know we only have so much time, and
you might have liked that. But and anytime I can
get you laughing, my friend. All right, Well, let's dive in.
So yeah, I want to just kind of share with
our audience. You grew up obviously very loving family. You
got your brother, you got your sister, and stay at
(16:48):
home mom, your dad worked multiple jobs. But you also
grew up in the projects of New York City, which
is not easy and I mean, really everyone you almost
have to experience it, right, because I think and tell
somebody has lived there under that pressure. It's almost like
(17:09):
you can't quite get it. But I know, Tony, when
you were about seven, you were scared. You were scared
of the bullies, you were intimidated. Although you may have
been you know, a good athlete, a good you know,
and a good student and all of that. You know,
you didn't want to fight, but your dad really gave
you some tough advice on a day that you actually
(17:32):
really needed to hear it because it spiraled you into
being fearless and no longer afraid. What was his advice.
Speaker 14 (17:42):
Well, I was sort of in the playground area of
the projects in New York City and some bully basically
beat me up, and I ran up to the fifth
floor where we lived and told my father about it.
I was crying, and my father, knowing about living in
(18:04):
the city, said to me, you have to go back
down and face that bully again. Well I was saying no, no,
you know, I'm crying. He beat me up, and my
father said, look, you've got to learn this lesson to
stand up for yourself. So he took his belt off.
Now remember this was in the fifties, and he took
(18:25):
his belt off and said, you either go down and
face that bully again and show him that you have
no fear, or face the belt. Well I knew what
the belt was, so I went downstairs. I faced the
bully again, actually won that fight, and it really did
set off not just self esteem, but my belief in
(18:48):
my ability to stand up for myself.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
And that is so important because life gets so twisty.
I mean, as we go along in your story, you
definitely had a lot of terms. But I love how
your father actually in that moment, was giving you great advice.
It helped make you the man you are today. And
your mom when I think about when you got that
(19:13):
acceptance letter to Notre Dame and here she is on
the on the yard waving it when you're coming home
with so much pride. You know, you you grew up
truly with great parents and a really loving family, but
it was other people along your path that helped educate you,
that helped give you little nudges, even sometimes little whispers.
(19:35):
And I know there was a time when you were
trying to pay for you know, school at Notre Dame,
and you had taken on a job working doing some
construction and a friend's father whispered to you and said,
become a doctor. You know, this isn't your thing. But
(19:56):
that night you went to a party having lost your
job that you needed, and another door opened, like for you,
it's like your story is about doors that open. But
that night at that party. What did you learn about.
Speaker 14 (20:12):
Well, one of the people who went to high school
with me, he was a year behind me. He came
up to me. I was telling the story about what
happened about how it is up on the roof, you know,
hammering nails, and my friend's father, who was the contractor,
came up to me, knelt down beside me and put
his arm around me and said, Tony become a doctor.
(20:33):
And of course, you know, I was telling stories to
make people laugh. And he said to me, hey, Tony,
if you don't have a job, why don't you come
and work from my uncle? And I said, well, what
does your uncle do? And he said he's in the
cookwear business, a company called Salad Master, and we sell
cookware door to door. And you know, he said, you
(20:53):
probably would be quite good good at it. So I said,
all right, let me try it out, and that I
did and was very successful in it.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
And again that just shows again we're talking today about focus.
You had to have focus. I mean you did that
job selling cookware door to door. I mean I did
real estate and I did door to door doing real estate,
and that's not easy. There's a bazillion reasons to walk
up to that door and say, eh, you know, let's
take an early lunch.
Speaker 6 (21:23):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
It's it really takes that drive, that focus, and you know,
maybe all those fights you were in kind of got
you to that ability to be kind of thick skin there.
And as your story went along, what I really admire
about it again is your tenacity. You don't do anything
just halfway. You know, you got your degree from Notre Dame.
(21:46):
You went on and further, it got many, many different degrees,
but you eventually got to being a professor. And as
a professor you were you know, you were basically young
but very knowledgeable in sales and had done that for
about eight years until you got to a point where
(22:10):
somebody else gave you a whisper, gave you a nudge
or maybe an ultimatum in this case, Right, what were
you asked to choose?
Speaker 14 (22:21):
So the dean of the School of Business at the
University of San Diego, this was September, well, it was
before the fall semester, came up to me and said, Tony,
I know you're out there doing some sales training and
speaking and you are a full time college profit but
(22:42):
you have to choose one or the other. And you
can't do both. And I tried to persuade him to
allow me to do both, but he was pretty adamant
you got to choose one or the other. Well, I
had been teaching at the university level for eight years
at the time, and I said, you know, if you're
giving me an ultimatum, I'm going to try professional speaking.
(23:06):
And I gave my resignation, taught that semester, and then
in January of the next you know, year, I became
a full time professional speaker.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
And again I get I tip my hat to you,
because that's so scary. I mean, you gave up a paycheck,
you gave up everything that was consistent and stable for
everything unstable. Even though you were doing well, it was
still a mystery of what would this look like. And
at the time you were married. And we'll talk about
how that unfolds. So stay with us, Tony, and for
(23:40):
everybody listening as we kind of go through all these
different stories that he's telling. You want to look in
your life to see how or in what way do
you need to be more focused, be more intentional with
your time, your money, your resources, because truly, it takes
all of that to live full out Today.
Speaker 15 (24:04):
In school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I learned
that no one likes me. In English, I learned that
I'm disgusting, And in Physics, I learned that I'm a loser.
Speaker 11 (24:16):
Today, in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying. Today.
Speaker 16 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch,
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 15 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 17 (24:42):
And in math I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 15 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 17 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander. At Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the ad Council.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward Slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 18 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, That's who.
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov slash Kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 19 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 8 (27:04):
It's slipping coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 18 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 9 (27:08):
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a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
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flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
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(27:30):
with a monitor.
Speaker 11 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Yeah, it's slipping coffit check, cop to doctor, KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 9 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure self monitoring
is power. Learn more at manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfullout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy
Silari and this is the Living Full Out Show, and
today we're talking about being focused, and our inspirational guest today,
doctor Tony Anaxander, honestly is a perfect example of what
it means to live full out. I am just so
honored and grateful that he's joined us today. So Tony,
(28:42):
welcome back to the show. My pleasure, and thank you
for sharing with us kind of how you got into
the speaking business, which I know you've gone on to
have many, many successes, but success doesn't just appear, and
it's almost like if we don't tell what really happens.
Then sometimes people don't see how far you've come. And
(29:04):
I know that in your early speaking career, well before
any of the accolades, you had an event that you
were at where you were speaking in front of a
very diverse audience, and when the reviews came back, you
were stumped. What did you find out?
Speaker 14 (29:23):
I found out that I was being too theoretical, too
professorial as a speaker, and got not so great reviews.
In fact, the reviews were such that I went to
the person who organized the program and said, you know what,
I'm not happy with my results. Don't pay me because
(29:44):
I don't think I earned you know what I was
supposed to do. So, but I was taught a lesson
that being professorial to an adult group who all were
out there selling or managing, leading, whatever it was, I
had to be more practical. I had to focus on
(30:05):
two things, two things that I have learned in my
life that I carried to this day, and that is
simplicity and practicality. Simplicity in the sense of explaining things
in a way that people can get it, and practicality
once they get it, to make sure they know how
to use it so it was a great lesson for me.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
And this was also whispered to you when you were
at a big speaking convention and you had spoke in
front of other speakers, right, and someone kind of echoed
that same sentiment.
Speaker 14 (30:43):
What did they say, Well, they took their arm around
me and said, you know, hey, Tony, you know you're
doing fine, but not great. And if you want to
do great in the speaking profession, you have to be yourself.
You're trying to be somebody that you're actually not. You're
coming across as a professor more theoretical. You are a
(31:09):
New York City Italian. Off stage, you are funny, you
tell stories, you're mischievous. You have to let that side
of you come out on stage. And I took that
to heart and I allowed myself, my real self to
come out on stage, and my career skyrocketed. I mean
(31:31):
it went turbocharge from there. Great advice.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Well, and I am talking to a Hall of famer
in what way were you awarded that?
Speaker 14 (31:43):
Well? In nineteen eighty five, so just six years after
I entered the speaking profession, I was inducted into the
National Speakers Association Speaker Hall of Fame, which is quite
an honor. Actually, yeah, this year is a big anniverse
reforming on that. But it was once I changed my
(32:04):
speaking style, everything fell into place. I mean I got
more speeches, I got higher fees, I got more what's
the word, more adelation or kudos not only from the
audiences but from my peers. And that's how I got
(32:24):
into the Hall of Fame.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Well, and again I applaud you very much for everything
that you have achieved in your career. I know that
sometimes we have to step back and look at how
our career life parallels our personal life. And amongst building
your career, you know, you had married your wife, ex
(32:46):
wife Janice at the time, now, back when you were
twenty three, and she was beside you as you were
leaving the professor world and going into the speaking world
and building this. But being a speaker means that you're
on the road a lot, and although you can plug
in for as many you know, baseball games and birthday
(33:07):
parties as possible, it still means that in some ways
the spouse is taking care of the kiddos. You're on
the road working, You are working, but it's just, you know,
it's just hard and disconnects happen but I also know
that for you, you started to notice that you know,
she was you know, she was not jealous, but you
(33:29):
know she didn't like all the attention you got. You know,
how did you finally decide to let go? Because you
are a very loyal man, how did you finally decide
that that was time to let that relationship go?
Speaker 14 (33:45):
Well, uh, I would say at I think it was
Thanksgiving before we really got divorced, and I'm looking at
my mother and father and I just projected myself twenty
years in advance, and I said to myself, this, twenty
(34:09):
years from now, this is me and Janice. And I
wasn't happy with the picture because my mother a loving mother,
but she also nagged my father a lot, and you know,
so it was then at this Thanksgiving that I mentally
started the divorce process because I said, twenty years from now,
(34:32):
I don't want to be in a marriage like this,
And that's that's what was the impetus for it, and
to force.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Even if you have that visual in your mind, divorce
is hard, especially with kids involved, especially with dividing up
assets and everything else. And you had to put a
price on your speaking business, which is hard because it's
you right, how do you price that?
Speaker 5 (34:56):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Yeah, but you initially. And I think this is such
an important story because so many people do have to
pay a spouse or pay child support. You know, you
were very upset with all that you had to pay initially,
but a friend of yours, his wife, gave you some
great advice. What did she say?
Speaker 14 (35:20):
So I was speaking to my friend. I was on speakerphone,
so his wife, who was a pH d in psychology,
was obviously listening, and I was complaining about how much
I had to pay every month for ten years for
both spouse support and child support. And she said, Tony,
(35:41):
you min if I, you know, give you my two cents.
What if an angel or a genie came here and
said to you, look, I will take you out of
an unhappy marriage. I'll put you eventually into a happy marriage,
and I will charge you X amount of dollars that
(36:03):
you can pay over ten years with no interest. And
she said, what would you say to that genie or angel?
And I said I would say I'm in. And she said, well,
that's exactly the way to look at it. And from
that moment, I called up my bank. I scheduled an
automated payment the first of every month for ten years
(36:26):
and never looked back. And I just figured, hey, this,
you know, first of all, that was fair. I mean,
my ex wife and I were married for twenty years,
had two children, and I wanted everything to be above
board and fair. And that's the way I looked at it.
And when it was all done, I just, you know,
breathed a sigh of relief. It's all over now, you know,
(36:49):
ten years had passed and to this day my ex wife,
Janice still is involved in all the events we have
with our kids and our grandkids.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
So it actually it actually kept the bond right, It
kept it. You doing that action, not getting upset, not
making it hard, has made the future brighter. And side note,
you did find a happy ending, you found Danny, and
(37:23):
so so as we round up Titty's interview, one of
the things that I think that a lot of people
also deal with is when you do come into money
like you did, you worked hard for it and you
just exam It. Just gave us a great example there.
But when people would knock on your door and say, hey, Tony,
can I borrow some money? You were insistent on not
(37:46):
making it alone.
Speaker 14 (37:47):
Why well, because I honestly believe that when you give
somebody a loan, it actually negatively impacts the relationship because
they see that they owe you something that maybe even
you are better than them because you loan them the money.
It just I didn't want to go through that because
(38:10):
I've seen it happen with other people. So when they
would ask for a loan, I would say to them, look,
I don't believe in giving loans out, but I'll tell
you what. I will give you this amount of money
one time. This is the only time I'm going to
give you this money, and it is a gift. It
is not alone. Do not think that you have to
(38:32):
pay me back. And it was a way of keeping
the relationship better, not people feeling that they owed me something.
So you know, that was the way I handled that.
And Nancy, I want to mention something. You're talking a
lot about the accomplishments that I've had in my life,
(38:57):
and that's what people typically see, but they don't see
all of the failures that happened in my life. You know,
people can enter you know, baseball players can enter the
Hall of Fame if they only average one hit out
of every three at bats. And so I'm always up
(39:19):
to bat, Nancy, always up to that. And you know
I may strike out, I may ground out, but I'm
always back up there.
Speaker 5 (39:28):
Uh.
Speaker 14 (39:28):
You know, I have persistence in what I do.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Well. Like I said at the very beginning of this interview,
every story, and I know you take pride in being
a storyteller. Every story that you've told today, and there's
so many more for everybody listening. You know, feel free
to check Tony out online. You know, every one of
them has a meaning and a purpose and I so
appreciate that. And in just thirty seconds here were got's
(39:57):
to go. But what does living full out mean to you?
Speaker 9 (40:00):
You?
Speaker 14 (40:02):
I believe it's, you know, doing what you were meant
to do, getting involved with other people. I talk a
lot with other people, and I listen to their stories
and their advice and evaluate it my life. And I
think most people's lives are like sliding doors. Which way
(40:23):
do you go? You just have to be able to
focus and know what you want to do and where
you want to where you want.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
To be well, And you've opened a door for us
today to kind of learn more about you. But also again,
thank you for sharing you know, all of your stories
and for everybody listening today, you know, just like Tony,
look at your own stories, reflect back and channel that
focus so you can live full out.
Speaker 12 (40:52):
We are clear, Thank you very much.
Speaker 7 (41:06):
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(41:28):
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(41:49):
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Speaker 20 (42:01):
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(42:25):
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(42:48):
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Speaker 10 (43:01):
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Speaker 3 (43:06):
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Me too, But I'm glad you are.
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Speaker 4 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 14 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand.
Speaker 5 (44:08):
I'm planning that tree.
Speaker 21 (44:09):
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(44:52):
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Make the call to eight one to one brought to
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Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to being focused, I'd want you to
look at it not as a negative, but get excited
because when you have clarity, when you're navigating life with intention,
you know things are snapping along. You're knowing that you're productive,
that you're making things happen, you're taking action in your life.
And is that swagger. It's that motion that allows you
(45:24):
to fully know that you're doing everything within your capability
to live full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy's
Hilary and this is the Living Full Out Show, and
we've been talking about having focus in your life and
really just er getting into it and drilling down on
what needs to get done or you know, what is
it that you want most in your life, and I'll
tell you what. It is so wild. Although I am
(46:18):
legally blind, so today, if you are standing right in
front of me, I wouldn't be able to see your
sweet face. However, I have never had such clarity. It
is the weirdest thing. I It's almost like going blind
has allowed me to see. And it's a tagline that
we say all the time at Living full out. You
don't need sight to have vision, and that's really true.
(46:41):
The vision comes from your brain. The vision comes from
your heart, you know. For me, I dream in color.
I picture all these things that I'm going to see
and do, and I believe, I keep hoping my heart
cures are always possible, and if not, I know, oh
that people can tell me what things look like and personally,
(47:04):
all my other senses, the smell, the taste, the touch.
They fill in again what I may not visually be
able to see, they tell me. They give me, you know,
every bit of information I need to pull that image together.
Now for you, you want to think about okay, well,
you know I don't feel focused. I feel, in fact,
(47:26):
like everything's just out of sorts and I'm over committed
and I'm just tired. Well, that is very honest. It's
very honest, and who isn't tired. I'm going to raise
both in my hands. I'm tired, Okay. I dig it
up this morning really early at four thirty. So yep, erse,
I am tired. But the thing is, when you have
(47:47):
those long days when you feel over committed, it's a
lot easier to navigate the tired when you have focus.
And that focus could be something that you're striving for.
I'm going to work multiple jobs so I can buy
a car so I can take a trip. Well, that
takes focus, determination, persistence. But you know what you're doing
(48:09):
all that for. You've got that focus. Or you might say,
you know what, I am going to work hard because
I believe in my business, I believe in my dream
and I know I just got to put in all
these long days and eventually I'll get there, and you will.
Before you know it, those doors will open and you
will be exactly where you visualize yourself being. But it
(48:30):
takes focus. It takes that hard work.
Speaker 3 (48:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
When I think about even being here with all of
you today, that took focus. I know back in the
day when we were my family, my two sisters and I,
we were all given this news that we had retinitis pigmentosa,
and the doctor basically told my mom, you know, all
of your daughters will go blind by foury which is
(48:54):
not anything a single mom wants to hear with three
teenage daughters. And sure enough, the doctor isn't exactly wrong.
It started just kind of disappearing on me, my sight
within my twenties and my thirties. However, what the doctor
did not know is the tenacity and the inner workings
of our family. We were go getters, We were hard workers,
(49:15):
and we were dreamers. And so even back when I
was starting to lose my vision, you know, I kept
a dream. I kept my sights on you. I was thinking,
all right, these long days, these long hours learning, speaking, learning, coaching,
you know, working at the radio station, you know, doing
a web TV show. It was ultimately a lot of time,
(49:38):
a lot of effort, a lot of workarounds as I
was losing my vision to kind of pull it all
together and keep it going. But as I sit here
with you today, I can tell you that it doesn't
matter what you visually see, it doesn't matter what you
literally hear. It is your mind it is your heart
that will be your compass. It will be you what
(50:01):
keeps you confidently stepping forward, that gives you that focus. Now,
what you want to do, though, is make sure to
quiet the noise the people who say you can't. Just
put them aside. The moments that you have failed. We
all do. I've tailed a lot, so have many of
our guests on the show. You know, if so, all
those moments that you want to give up, like the
(50:23):
days are long, you know it's too expensive. Greatness comes
by getting through the nose and looking for the yeses,
because the yes is all worth it, and that yes
could come when you're twenty, that yes could come when
you're seventy. But at the end of the day, I
know that when I take my last breath in this world,
(50:44):
I want to say, all right, I lived full out, literally,
I did my best. I heard what I could, I
saw what I could, I smelt what I could, I
tasted what I could. I lived every fabric of this
life to the best that I could. That takes focus,
even positivity, even the way that one can take a
(51:07):
hard day, a diagnosis, bad news, and if you can
take those and flip them upside down, put them in
a special place and say, you know what you do,
not label me, you don't serve me. I'm better than
these failings. I'm better than you know these expectations. That
(51:27):
takes focus. But when you do that, you will truly
be able to live a life that you are proud
of and you're living a purposeful life most of all,
So make sure that if you want to hear today's
show again, you go to livingfullout dot com. The entire
Living full Out family stance beside you in every show
so you get that little something, just one little phrase
(51:49):
that allows you to take on your life and maybe
a situation that's troubling you in a different way. Also,
make sure that you go to the app store download
the Living full Out Show app listen to us on
the go, because again we want to stand beside you
to do what that's right, Live full Out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to The Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfollout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Silari, and today we're going to be
talking about being focused in life. And I know sometimes
it's easier said than done. These distractions are very, very
compelling sometimes, but we want to find ways to block
that out, to really be intentional and focused on our dreams,
(00:41):
our goals, but more so the action steps to make
them happen. So we're going to be talking about that
also in our next segment. Oh my goodness, doctor Tony Alexandra,
what a great I mean human. I say that lovingly.
I tell my crew this all the time. I am
a fan of people who I think are just such
good givers and teachers amongst all of us, and I
(01:05):
think anyone can be that mentor for another. But I
really appreciate how Tony helps us see people look at
their situations with that glass abundantly full feeling. And you'll
know what I mean when we meet him. He's such
a ball of energy, truly. Now, I do want to
make sure that as we move along in today's show
(01:26):
that you are always supported. Remember that you can reach
out to us at connect at livingfullout dot com. So
if you need resources, or you're just dealing with something
that's heavy on your own heart and you're wondering how
to navigate that, I'm here for you. I promise we
will read what you send us and write you back
and again, perhaps today's show will resonate with you. But
(01:49):
also think how you think of someone in your life
who needs focus and you can share this episode with them.
Make sure you go to Livingfullout dot com. All of
our episodes are waiting there for you, and just pick
all of them. Just have a day of watching the
Living Full Out Show, and I know you'll walk away
truly inspired and learning as you go. Now again, in
(02:12):
the spirit of knowing that Nancy I'm always beside you
every step of the way. When we get different emails
and letters, we try to respond first of all via
Ask Nancy. So if you've never gone to Ask Nancy
on the website definitely go there because when we get letters,
we do right back and give coaching, and that's where
(02:32):
all of that goes. However, I want to share some
with you now because I think that we can all
kind of learn from each other and what we're going through.
And the first email I want to share with you
has to do with Steve. And this is really hard
because I think a lot of times we can walk
through life, you know, almost feeling like a fraud, feeling like,
(02:54):
you know, we're an impost that we know we're talking
a certain way, but we're not in that walk, And
he's going through exactly that. And in fact, he has
built his life in such a way that he fudges
a lot, he embellishes a lot, He even drives cars
to how people think that he has more money than
(03:16):
he has, and even his family makes fun of him
and calls him out and says he's a fraud. And
I can only imagine when you're kind of locked in
that cycle, like that's the way that you run your life,
it's hard to step off of that hamster wheel sometimes
and come to a place of authenticity. But when we
(03:38):
live in a lane where we live in truth, where
we don't have to lie where we don't have to pretend.
It's actually very freeing. And so when I think of
his story and as I give feedback to him and
to all of you, it is really to look at
where in your life are you kind of you know,
coloring outside the lines. You're not really living what you're
(04:02):
telling people you are. And that might be as little
as telling people, oh my gosh, I'm working out all
the time, I'm eating, I'm dieting, but yet truly, behind
the scenes, you're eating a burger and you're not working
out at all, okay, and people will know because the
results won't be there either. And again you might say, well, Nancy,
everybody does that, everybody cheats a little bit here and there. Well,
(04:25):
do you want to be a cheater in life or
do you want to be someone that's inspiring, someone that
people look to you like. Again, you talk that talk,
you walk that walk, and you've got the results to
show it. That's the lane you want to be in,
because then you can truly look at yourself in the
mirror and be proud of who you are and proud
of how far you've come. And trust me, you know
(04:47):
every inch of every long day and sweat and pain
that got you there. And so for our writer here,
for Steve, I really just want you to let go,
let go of looking good, let go of even things
that you've done wrong in your life. Forgive yourself. That
is one of the greatest gifts that you can give
(05:09):
yourselves is to do that. And then the exciting part
is rewriting your narrative. Who you were, even if it
wasn't real, is not who you need to be or
can be in the future. You can turn that new
page anytime. But when you do that, you get to
author your story. So if you want to get into
(05:30):
a different career, one that you think you know you
can make a difference, one that is kind of in
line with your skills, your talents, your passions, let that
be the lead as you rewrite your story. Or you know,
perhaps you're looking to broaden your horizons when it comes
to having a new love in your life or friendships.
(05:51):
You know, I personally always believe that I'm looking for
you know, well, I should say I'm always putting out
applications for friendships because just and I think that I
have everybody in my life I need. There's always somebody
that comes along and I find myself saying, or have
you been my whole life? Or or I feel like,
oh my gosh, I feel like I've known you forever.
(06:12):
So don't be afraid to step out there and create
some new relationships. Now, I want to move along to
another letter here, and we've got Kim. And Kim's situation
is one where I think a lot of people are stuck.
She works multiple jobs. She's got one that she works
full time, and that takes her, you know, into an office,
(06:33):
you know, forty hours a week. And then on top
of that, she works remotely and is doing a job
in the evenings and on the weekends, and she's a
single mother. And at the end of the day, there
is no time for her, no time for her dreams,
no time for what brings her joy. Now here's the
thing in this letter that she wrote us, if I
(06:56):
was to count it up, I have no time. I
have no I have no that no, no, no, no no.
And I want everybody to think about the words that
you say. So when you say words like no, I can't,
I'll never it'll never happen, right, all those things they
(07:18):
really do resonate from your mouth to your brain. You're
like alerting your brain. Hey, listen, don't waste your time.
It's not going to work out. You're telling your heart,
who are you kidding yourself? You know you don't have
enough skills for that. And then you're basically telling your
entire body, Eh, you know, just give up, or you know,
(07:39):
start tomorrow. But tomorrow is not a given. Today is
the day that you do things that you enjoy, not tomorrow.
And also, when I think about Cam being that single
mom that you are, and I'm sure you're a great one,
are you being the best role model you can be?
Because right now you're demonstrating a lopsided life and we
(08:02):
have all been there. What is that lopsided life looks like?
It looks like at the end of every day you're
waving the flag, right It looks like at the end
of the week it blurs right into the next and
you feel just you know, like you're taking more out
of the energy bank than you're putting in. And the
(08:23):
thing is that is not only a habit that you
want to break, but you also want to make sure
that you're being a better steward for that role model
to show to your child. That you know they can
have a more balanced life. And we throw out that
word balance a lot, but balance is actually really important
(08:43):
because it is what allows us to have better sleep. Now,
I'm a fan of sleep. I buried on myself everybody
who knows me. I mean, I am a good sleeper.
But why am I a good sleeper? I'm a good
sleeper because I know the ins and outs, the sway,
the waves of my day, and I know that there's
a lot I can't control. So even today I was
(09:07):
up at four thirty am. Now I realize some people
might say, well, Nancy, that's good for you, but I'm
not a morning person a night person. Okay, then let
your day sway that way. But at the end of
the day, if you budget more time, meaning that you
get up early, or you're okay with staying up later
to get something done, then you sleep better at night
(09:28):
because you know that you're not going to have all
these loose ends, that you're not going to have them
all kind of unravel on you. And when I think
about Kim's letter here and all this nose and cants
and won'ts, I think to myself, I wonder if she
could just get up a little bit early, just a
little bit, or stay up a little bit later. And
(09:49):
that isn't more time to do more work, to do
more errands, to clean the house. It's to find something
that she would enjoy reading a book, vegging out on
the houch, watching a comedy, write something like that, something
that would allow her to escape and feel just alive.
What a concept. So truly, as we go through today's
(10:12):
show and we talk about being focused, I really want
you to think about you know, Steve, and think about Kim,
and think about where you are in your life and
are you living your best life? What story do you
need to rewrite or let go of so that you
can thrive. What new habits do you need to put
in place so that you can achieve all that you
(10:35):
need to do the key where there's need to do.
But also save a bucket of wants and desires and
passions so you can conquer those two. Now, we're going
to be giving you lots of tips and resources through
today's show, So grab your pen, your paper, let's go.
Will be coming right back after this break with our
very special guest, stay with us.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times we're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org. Brought to
you by the AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 5 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
No, no, no, no, so you can have more control.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does with early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking and eating healthier. You can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 6 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 5 (12:43):
Warning? The cap is loose on that cat young.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Oh don't wait.
Speaker 6 (12:48):
You have the power to change the outcome. Visit do
I have prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Today?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
That's do I have prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 6 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes awareness partners.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Hehu, oh brah, that's buzzed. Oh yeah, yeah, he's starting
with the woots.
Speaker 7 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 8 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 10 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too.
Speaker 6 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True what you're out?
Speaker 11 (13:34):
You got me Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 12 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's Nfamilyfire dot Org, brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the ad Council.
Speaker 13 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the.
Speaker 8 (14:05):
Lingo Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 13 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Soilary. As
a life coach, Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face being
legally blind. Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You can ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy Silarian.
This is the Living Full Out Show, and today we're
talking about being focused in life. And as I promised,
I brought you ourn inspirational guest today, doctor Tony Alexandra, who, honestly,
I gotta tell you, ever since I met him, I
feel like I've become wiser. I feel like I've grown
(15:53):
a little taller, and I'm not a very tall person,
so to feel tall is a good thing and comedy
temperament of wisdom, comedy, sincereness, generosity. I could go on
and on, but I'd rather have you meet him and
let's unpack his story and see how being focused in
(16:13):
his life has allowed him to become that man, someone
he's very proud of. Today, i'd like to welcome Tony
to the show.
Speaker 14 (16:23):
Thank you, Nancy, really really honored to be here.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Ah well, I could have gone on and on about you,
but I know we only have so much time, and
you might have liked that. But and anytime I can
get you laughing, my friend. All right, Well, let's dive in.
So yeah, I want to just kind of share with
our audience. You grew up obviously very loving family. You
got your brother, you got your sister, and stay at
(16:48):
home mom, your dad worked multiple jobs. But you also
grew up in the projects of New York City, which
is not easy and I mean, really everyone you almost
have to experience it, right, because I think and tell
somebody has lived there under that pressure. It's almost like
(17:09):
you can't quite get it. But I know, Tony, when
you were about seven, you were scared. You were scared
of the bullies, you were intimidated. Although you may have
been you know, a good athlete, a good you know,
and a good student and all of that. You know,
you didn't want to fight, but your dad really gave
you some tough advice on a day that you actually
(17:32):
really needed to hear it because it spiraled you into
being fearless and no longer afraid. What was his advice.
Speaker 14 (17:42):
Well, I was sort of in the playground area of
the projects in New York City and some bully basically
beat me up, and I ran up to the fifth
floor where we lived and told my father about it.
I was crying, and my father, knowing about living in
(18:04):
the city, said to me, you have to go back
down and face that bully again. Well I was saying no, no,
you know, I'm crying. He beat me up, and my
father said, look, you've got to learn this lesson to
stand up for yourself. So he took his belt off.
Now remember this was in the fifties, and he took
(18:25):
his belt off and said, you either go down and
face that bully again and show him that you have
no fear, or face the belt. Well I knew what
the belt was, so I went downstairs. I faced the
bully again, actually won that fight, and it really did
set off not just self esteem, but my belief in
(18:48):
my ability to stand up for myself.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
And that is so important because life gets so twisty.
I mean, as we go along in your story, you
definitely had a lot of terms. But I love how
your father actually in that moment, was giving you great advice.
It helped make you the man you are today. And
your mom when I think about when you got that
(19:13):
acceptance letter to Notre Dame and here she is on
the on the yard waving it when you're coming home
with so much pride. You know, you you grew up
truly with great parents and a really loving family, but
it was other people along your path that helped educate you,
that helped give you little nudges, even sometimes little whispers.
(19:35):
And I know there was a time when you were
trying to pay for you know, school at Notre Dame,
and you had taken on a job working doing some
construction and a friend's father whispered to you and said,
become a doctor. You know, this isn't your thing. But
(19:56):
that night you went to a party having lost your
job that you needed, and another door opened, like for you,
it's like your story is about doors that open. But
that night at that party. What did you learn about.
Speaker 14 (20:12):
Well, one of the people who went to high school
with me, he was a year behind me. He came
up to me. I was telling the story about what
happened about how it is up on the roof, you know,
hammering nails, and my friend's father, who was the contractor,
came up to me, knelt down beside me and put
his arm around me and said, Tony become a doctor.
(20:33):
And of course, you know, I was telling stories to
make people laugh. And he said to me, hey, Tony,
if you don't have a job, why don't you come
and work from my uncle? And I said, well, what
does your uncle do? And he said he's in the
cookwear business, a company called Salad Master, and we sell
cookware door to door. And you know, he said, you
(20:53):
probably would be quite good good at it. So I said,
all right, let me try it out, and that I
did and was very successful in it.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
And again that just shows again we're talking today about focus.
You had to have focus. I mean you did that
job selling cookware door to door. I mean I did
real estate and I did door to door doing real estate,
and that's not easy. There's a bazillion reasons to walk
up to that door and say, eh, you know, let's
take an early lunch.
Speaker 6 (21:23):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
It's it really takes that drive, that focus, and you know,
maybe all those fights you were in kind of got
you to that ability to be kind of thick skin there.
And as your story went along, what I really admire
about it again is your tenacity. You don't do anything
just halfway. You know, you got your degree from Notre Dame.
(21:46):
You went on and further, it got many, many different degrees,
but you eventually got to being a professor. And as
a professor you were you know, you were basically young
but very knowledgeable in sales and had done that for
about eight years until you got to a point where
(22:10):
somebody else gave you a whisper, gave you a nudge
or maybe an ultimatum in this case, Right, what were
you asked to choose?
Speaker 14 (22:21):
So the dean of the School of Business at the
University of San Diego, this was September, well, it was
before the fall semester, came up to me and said, Tony,
I know you're out there doing some sales training and
speaking and you are a full time college profit but
(22:42):
you have to choose one or the other. And you
can't do both. And I tried to persuade him to
allow me to do both, but he was pretty adamant
you got to choose one or the other. Well, I
had been teaching at the university level for eight years
at the time, and I said, you know, if you're
giving me an ultimatum, I'm going to try professional speaking.
(23:06):
And I gave my resignation, taught that semester, and then
in January of the next you know, year, I became
a full time professional speaker.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
And again I get I tip my hat to you,
because that's so scary. I mean, you gave up a paycheck,
you gave up everything that was consistent and stable for
everything unstable. Even though you were doing well, it was
still a mystery of what would this look like. And
at the time you were married. And we'll talk about
how that unfolds. So stay with us, Tony, and for
(23:40):
everybody listening as we kind of go through all these
different stories that he's telling. You want to look in
your life to see how or in what way do
you need to be more focused, be more intentional with
your time, your money, your resources, because truly, it takes
all of that to live full out Today.
Speaker 15 (24:04):
In school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I learned
that no one likes me. In English, I learned that
I'm disgusting, And in Physics, I learned that I'm a loser.
Speaker 11 (24:16):
Today, in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying. Today.
Speaker 16 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch,
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 15 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 17 (24:42):
And in math I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 15 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 17 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander. At Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the ad Council.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward Slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 18 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, That's who.
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov slash Kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 19 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 8 (27:04):
It's slipping coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 18 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 9 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner. I get it,
flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
(27:30):
with a monitor.
Speaker 11 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Yeah, it's slipping coffit check, cop to doctor, KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 9 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure self monitoring
is power. Learn more at manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfullout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy
Silari and this is the Living Full Out Show, and
today we're talking about being focused, and our inspirational guest today,
doctor Tony Anaxander, honestly is a perfect example of what
it means to live full out. I am just so
honored and grateful that he's joined us today. So Tony,
(28:42):
welcome back to the show. My pleasure, and thank you
for sharing with us kind of how you got into
the speaking business, which I know you've gone on to
have many, many successes, but success doesn't just appear, and
it's almost like if we don't tell what really happens.
Then sometimes people don't see how far you've come. And
(29:04):
I know that in your early speaking career, well before
any of the accolades, you had an event that you
were at where you were speaking in front of a
very diverse audience, and when the reviews came back, you
were stumped. What did you find out?
Speaker 14 (29:23):
I found out that I was being too theoretical, too
professorial as a speaker, and got not so great reviews.
In fact, the reviews were such that I went to
the person who organized the program and said, you know what,
I'm not happy with my results. Don't pay me because
(29:44):
I don't think I earned you know what I was
supposed to do. So, but I was taught a lesson
that being professorial to an adult group who all were
out there selling or managing, leading, whatever it was, I
had to be more practical. I had to focus on
(30:05):
two things, two things that I have learned in my
life that I carried to this day, and that is
simplicity and practicality. Simplicity in the sense of explaining things
in a way that people can get it, and practicality
once they get it, to make sure they know how
to use it so it was a great lesson for me.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
And this was also whispered to you when you were
at a big speaking convention and you had spoke in
front of other speakers, right, and someone kind of echoed
that same sentiment.
Speaker 14 (30:43):
What did they say, Well, they took their arm around
me and said, you know, hey, Tony, you know you're
doing fine, but not great. And if you want to
do great in the speaking profession, you have to be yourself.
You're trying to be somebody that you're actually not. You're
coming across as a professor more theoretical. You are a
(31:09):
New York City Italian. Off stage, you are funny, you
tell stories, you're mischievous. You have to let that side
of you come out on stage. And I took that
to heart and I allowed myself, my real self to
come out on stage, and my career skyrocketed. I mean
(31:31):
it went turbocharge from there. Great advice.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Well, and I am talking to a Hall of famer
in what way were you awarded that?
Speaker 14 (31:43):
Well? In nineteen eighty five, so just six years after
I entered the speaking profession, I was inducted into the
National Speakers Association Speaker Hall of Fame, which is quite
an honor. Actually, yeah, this year is a big anniverse
reforming on that. But it was once I changed my
(32:04):
speaking style, everything fell into place. I mean I got
more speeches, I got higher fees, I got more what's
the word, more adelation or kudos not only from the
audiences but from my peers. And that's how I got
(32:24):
into the Hall of Fame.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Well, and again I applaud you very much for everything
that you have achieved in your career. I know that
sometimes we have to step back and look at how
our career life parallels our personal life. And amongst building
your career, you know, you had married your wife, ex
(32:46):
wife Janice at the time, now, back when you were
twenty three, and she was beside you as you were
leaving the professor world and going into the speaking world
and building this. But being a speaker means that you're
on the road a lot, and although you can plug
in for as many you know, baseball games and birthday
(33:07):
parties as possible, it still means that in some ways
the spouse is taking care of the kiddos. You're on
the road working, You are working, but it's just, you know,
it's just hard and disconnects happen but I also know
that for you, you started to notice that you know,
she was you know, she was not jealous, but you
(33:29):
know she didn't like all the attention you got. You know,
how did you finally decide to let go? Because you
are a very loyal man, how did you finally decide
that that was time to let that relationship go?
Speaker 14 (33:45):
Well, uh, I would say at I think it was
Thanksgiving before we really got divorced, and I'm looking at
my mother and father and I just projected myself twenty
years in advance, and I said to myself, this, twenty
(34:09):
years from now, this is me and Janice. And I
wasn't happy with the picture because my mother a loving mother,
but she also nagged my father a lot, and you know,
so it was then at this Thanksgiving that I mentally
started the divorce process because I said, twenty years from now,
(34:32):
I don't want to be in a marriage like this,
And that's that's what was the impetus for it, and
to force.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Even if you have that visual in your mind, divorce
is hard, especially with kids involved, especially with dividing up
assets and everything else. And you had to put a
price on your speaking business, which is hard because it's
you right, how do you price that?
Speaker 5 (34:56):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Yeah, but you initially. And I think this is such
an important story because so many people do have to
pay a spouse or pay child support. You know, you
were very upset with all that you had to pay initially,
but a friend of yours, his wife, gave you some
great advice. What did she say?
Speaker 14 (35:20):
So I was speaking to my friend. I was on speakerphone,
so his wife, who was a pH d in psychology,
was obviously listening, and I was complaining about how much
I had to pay every month for ten years for
both spouse support and child support. And she said, Tony,
(35:41):
you min if I, you know, give you my two cents.
What if an angel or a genie came here and
said to you, look, I will take you out of
an unhappy marriage. I'll put you eventually into a happy marriage,
and I will charge you X amount of dollars that
(36:03):
you can pay over ten years with no interest. And
she said, what would you say to that genie or angel?
And I said I would say I'm in. And she said, well,
that's exactly the way to look at it. And from
that moment, I called up my bank. I scheduled an
automated payment the first of every month for ten years
(36:26):
and never looked back. And I just figured, hey, this,
you know, first of all, that was fair. I mean,
my ex wife and I were married for twenty years,
had two children, and I wanted everything to be above
board and fair. And that's the way I looked at it.
And when it was all done, I just, you know,
breathed a sigh of relief. It's all over now, you know,
(36:49):
ten years had passed and to this day my ex wife,
Janice still is involved in all the events we have
with our kids and our grandkids.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
So it actually it actually kept the bond right, It
kept it. You doing that action, not getting upset, not
making it hard, has made the future brighter. And side note,
you did find a happy ending, you found Danny, and
(37:23):
so so as we round up Titty's interview, one of
the things that I think that a lot of people
also deal with is when you do come into money
like you did, you worked hard for it and you
just exam It. Just gave us a great example there.
But when people would knock on your door and say, hey, Tony,
can I borrow some money? You were insistent on not
(37:46):
making it alone.
Speaker 14 (37:47):
Why well, because I honestly believe that when you give
somebody a loan, it actually negatively impacts the relationship because
they see that they owe you something that maybe even
you are better than them because you loan them the money.
It just I didn't want to go through that because
(38:10):
I've seen it happen with other people. So when they
would ask for a loan, I would say to them, look,
I don't believe in giving loans out, but I'll tell
you what. I will give you this amount of money
one time. This is the only time I'm going to
give you this money, and it is a gift. It
is not alone. Do not think that you have to
(38:32):
pay me back. And it was a way of keeping
the relationship better, not people feeling that they owed me something.
So you know, that was the way I handled that.
And Nancy, I want to mention something. You're talking a
lot about the accomplishments that I've had in my life,
(38:57):
and that's what people typically see, but they don't see
all of the failures that happened in my life. You know,
people can enter you know, baseball players can enter the
Hall of Fame if they only average one hit out
of every three at bats. And so I'm always up
(39:19):
to bat, Nancy, always up to that. And you know
I may strike out, I may ground out, but I'm
always back up there.
Speaker 5 (39:28):
Uh.
Speaker 14 (39:28):
You know, I have persistence in what I do.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Well. Like I said at the very beginning of this interview,
every story, and I know you take pride in being
a storyteller. Every story that you've told today, and there's
so many more for everybody listening. You know, feel free
to check Tony out online. You know, every one of
them has a meaning and a purpose and I so
appreciate that. And in just thirty seconds here were got's
(39:57):
to go. But what does living full out mean to you?
Speaker 9 (40:00):
You?
Speaker 14 (40:02):
I believe it's, you know, doing what you were meant
to do, getting involved with other people. I talk a
lot with other people, and I listen to their stories
and their advice and evaluate it my life. And I
think most people's lives are like sliding doors. Which way
(40:23):
do you go? You just have to be able to
focus and know what you want to do and where
you want to where you want.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
To be well, And you've opened a door for us
today to kind of learn more about you. But also again,
thank you for sharing you know, all of your stories
and for everybody listening today, you know, just like Tony,
look at your own stories, reflect back and channel that
focus so you can live full out.
Speaker 12 (40:52):
We are clear, Thank you very much.
Speaker 7 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months,
they're combining vowels and consonants talk, By nine months they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months
(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, man,
especially if there's no babbling at all. Little to no
babbling by twelve months or later is just one of
the possible signs of autism and children. Early screening and
intervention can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a
(41:49):
world of possibilities. Take the first step at Autism speaks
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
Autism Speaks and the Aduncil.
Speaker 20 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum on
the label that means both harmful ultraviolet A and B
rays are block. UVA rays age the skin, UVB rays
(42:25):
burn and both cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't
count if you use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on
a cloudy day. Wrong, eighty percent of UV rays still
get through the haze. Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope.
Anytime you're outside, UB rays attack the skin, so you
need protection and you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours.
(42:48):
Remember SPF plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in
the sun. Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen
for more information. A message from the US Food and
Drug admans.
Speaker 10 (43:01):
Right now, our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 3 (43:06):
I gotta tell you.
Speaker 17 (43:07):
I was nervous to talk to someone so different than me.
Speaker 5 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.
Speaker 10 (43:12):
Love has no labels and one small step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 21 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash one small Step.
You can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation of your own.
Speaker 5 (43:42):
I know one thing.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 10 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation at Love has
No Labels dot com slash one small Step, A message
from story Core Love has No Labels and the ad Council.
Speaker 4 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 14 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand.
Speaker 5 (44:08):
I'm planning that tree.
Speaker 21 (44:09):
You Remember, No matter how large or small your digging
project may be, no matter how urban or rural, you
must always call eight one one before any digging project.
Eight one to one is our national one call number,
alerting your local utility companies to come out and mark
any lines.
Speaker 4 (44:28):
They have near your dig site.
Speaker 21 (44:30):
You must call eight one to one at least two
to three business days before any digging project so you
can avoid hitting our essential buried utilities. This includes natural
gas and petroleum pipelines, electra communication cables, and water and
sewer lines. So before you do this or this, Make
(44:52):
sure you do this for digging projects big or small.
Make the call to eight one to one brought to
you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to being focused, I'd want you to
look at it not as a negative, but get excited
because when you have clarity, when you're navigating life with intention,
you know things are snapping along. You're knowing that you're productive,
that you're making things happen, you're taking action in your life.
And is that swagger. It's that motion that allows you
(45:24):
to fully know that you're doing everything within your capability
to live full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy's
Hilary and this is the Living Full Out Show, and
we've been talking about having focus in your life and
really just er getting into it and drilling down on
what needs to get done or you know, what is
it that you want most in your life, and I'll
tell you what. It is so wild. Although I am
(46:18):
legally blind, so today, if you are standing right in
front of me, I wouldn't be able to see your
sweet face. However, I have never had such clarity. It
is the weirdest thing. I It's almost like going blind
has allowed me to see. And it's a tagline that
we say all the time at Living full out. You
don't need sight to have vision, and that's really true.
(46:41):
The vision comes from your brain. The vision comes from
your heart, you know. For me, I dream in color.
I picture all these things that I'm going to see
and do, and I believe, I keep hoping my heart
cures are always possible, and if not, I know, oh
that people can tell me what things look like and personally,
(47:04):
all my other senses, the smell, the taste, the touch.
They fill in again what I may not visually be
able to see, they tell me. They give me, you know,
every bit of information I need to pull that image together.
Now for you, you want to think about okay, well,
you know I don't feel focused. I feel, in fact,
(47:26):
like everything's just out of sorts and I'm over committed
and I'm just tired. Well, that is very honest. It's
very honest, and who isn't tired. I'm going to raise
both in my hands. I'm tired, Okay. I dig it
up this morning really early at four thirty. So yep, erse,
I am tired. But the thing is, when you have
(47:47):
those long days when you feel over committed, it's a
lot easier to navigate the tired when you have focus.
And that focus could be something that you're striving for.
I'm going to work multiple jobs so I can buy
a car so I can take a trip. Well, that
takes focus, determination, persistence. But you know what you're doing
(48:09):
all that for. You've got that focus. Or you might say,
you know what, I am going to work hard because
I believe in my business, I believe in my dream
and I know I just got to put in all
these long days and eventually I'll get there, and you will.
Before you know it, those doors will open and you
will be exactly where you visualize yourself being. But it
(48:30):
takes focus. It takes that hard work.
Speaker 3 (48:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
When I think about even being here with all of
you today, that took focus. I know back in the
day when we were my family, my two sisters and I,
we were all given this news that we had retinitis pigmentosa,
and the doctor basically told my mom, you know, all
of your daughters will go blind by foury which is
(48:54):
not anything a single mom wants to hear with three
teenage daughters. And sure enough, the doctor isn't exactly wrong.
It started just kind of disappearing on me, my sight
within my twenties and my thirties. However, what the doctor
did not know is the tenacity and the inner workings
of our family. We were go getters, We were hard workers,
(49:15):
and we were dreamers. And so even back when I
was starting to lose my vision, you know, I kept
a dream. I kept my sights on you. I was thinking,
all right, these long days, these long hours learning, speaking, learning, coaching,
you know, working at the radio station, you know, doing
a web TV show. It was ultimately a lot of time,
(49:38):
a lot of effort, a lot of workarounds as I
was losing my vision to kind of pull it all
together and keep it going. But as I sit here
with you today, I can tell you that it doesn't
matter what you visually see, it doesn't matter what you
literally hear. It is your mind it is your heart
that will be your compass. It will be you what
(50:01):
keeps you confidently stepping forward, that gives you that focus. Now,
what you want to do, though, is make sure to
quiet the noise the people who say you can't. Just
put them aside. The moments that you have failed. We
all do. I've tailed a lot, so have many of
our guests on the show. You know, if so, all
those moments that you want to give up, like the
(50:23):
days are long, you know it's too expensive. Greatness comes
by getting through the nose and looking for the yeses,
because the yes is all worth it, and that yes
could come when you're twenty, that yes could come when
you're seventy. But at the end of the day, I
know that when I take my last breath in this world,
(50:44):
I want to say, all right, I lived full out, literally,
I did my best. I heard what I could, I
saw what I could, I smelt what I could, I
tasted what I could. I lived every fabric of this
life to the best that I could. That takes focus,
even positivity, even the way that one can take a
(51:07):
hard day, a diagnosis, bad news, and if you can
take those and flip them upside down, put them in
a special place and say, you know what you do,
not label me, you don't serve me. I'm better than
these failings. I'm better than you know these expectations. That
(51:27):
takes focus. But when you do that, you will truly
be able to live a life that you are proud
of and you're living a purposeful life most of all,
So make sure that if you want to hear today's
show again, you go to livingfullout dot com. The entire
Living full Out family stance beside you in every show
so you get that little something, just one little phrase
(51:49):
that allows you to take on your life and maybe
a situation that's troubling you in a different way. Also,
make sure that you go to the app store download
the Living full Out Show app listen to us on
the go, because again we want to stand beside you
to do what that's right, Live full Out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to The Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfollout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out
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