September 27, 2025 • 52 mins
Episode: 2025.11.32
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to be positively gritty. Perhaps you are uncertain on how to take the next step in your business. Maybe you want to end a relationship but are lacking resources to do so. Join Nancy as she explores the importance of determination.
Our first caller Scott wonders how to deal with a family member that has become ultra religious. Nancy advises him to be that soft place to fall just in case that person becomes disappointed. She also recommends Scott to allow him to let him be. Tune in to learn how to deal with someone who is seeking attention.
Our inspirational guest Calvin Bagley had to be positively gritty multiple times throughout his life. He grew up in a household of abuse and isolated from the rest of the world. He received a mission call at age 19, while still struggling with English. Despite this, he had to also learn Portuguese in two months. A few years later, he was provided an ample opportunity to attend UNLV even with a low ACT score and only a GED. He ended up graduating with a business degree at age 34, which he used to start his own company Nuvo Health. Tune in to the Living Full Out show to hear how Calvin finally gained acceptance from his father.
Perhaps you have a disease that makes you unable to complete daily tasks. Try focusing on your strengths and talents, and build from there. By being positively gritty, you will live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to be positively gritty. Perhaps you are uncertain on how to take the next step in your business. Maybe you want to end a relationship but are lacking resources to do so. Join Nancy as she explores the importance of determination.
Our first caller Scott wonders how to deal with a family member that has become ultra religious. Nancy advises him to be that soft place to fall just in case that person becomes disappointed. She also recommends Scott to allow him to let him be. Tune in to learn how to deal with someone who is seeking attention.
Our inspirational guest Calvin Bagley had to be positively gritty multiple times throughout his life. He grew up in a household of abuse and isolated from the rest of the world. He received a mission call at age 19, while still struggling with English. Despite this, he had to also learn Portuguese in two months. A few years later, he was provided an ample opportunity to attend UNLV even with a low ACT score and only a GED. He ended up graduating with a business degree at age 34, which he used to start his own company Nuvo Health. Tune in to the Living Full Out show to hear how Calvin finally gained acceptance from his father.
Perhaps you have a disease that makes you unable to complete daily tasks. Try focusing on your strengths and talents, and build from there. By being positively gritty, you will live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hello, and welcome to The Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Silari, and today we're going to be
talking about positively gerrity. Oh god, I love that word gritty.
It means that you're really passionate about something. You want
to dig in, you want to give it your all,
and yeah, you might sweat a bit, you might cry
a little, but at the end of the day, the
things that are worth crying for, a working hard for
(00:41):
are honestly the ones that we are oftentimes the most
proud of. So I want you to dig in. I
want you to be positive about it and truly achieve
everything that you want in life. Our inspirational guests coming
up in our next segment Cavin Bagley. Honestly, he's such
a great example of what it means to live full out,
but truly he had to get very gritty with the
(01:02):
way that he grew up with who he is today,
and you'll know what I mean when you lean into
his story. I also want to make sure that be
on today's show, you will always have us right literally
in your back pocket on your phone. Remember that you
can go to the app store just look for the
Living Full Out Show app. It's free, and you can
listen to us at the gym, in the car anytime
(01:22):
and hear story after story to give you that empowerment
you need to be positively gritty in your life. Now,
I am getting word from our producer that we do
a listener on the line. Let's go check in with them. Hello,
welcome to the Living Full Out Show.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Hello, how are you?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I am great, Nice to hear your voice. How can
I help you?
Speaker 4 (01:43):
I had a situation with a family member. I don't
know if it applies to the topic you have today,
but he became very religious five or six years ago,
maybe several years ago, born again Christian something, and ever
since he's bombarded me every day with many, many.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Many.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Religious quotes which I think are fantastic. I think the
message that he sends me is a beautiful message for anybody,
whether you believe in a higher power or whether you
have any sort of organized religion, but he sends it
to me every day, and that's I don't know if
that's really the issue. I think the issue for me
(02:31):
is that his behavior is contradictory to the message. If
that makes any sense.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
It makes perfect sense. And actually both of your points
make sense. I want to address the first one and
then want to ask you real quick about the behavior. Okay,
So on the first one, For example, my mom. I
love my mom. She's one of my best friends, but
she'll oftentimes send me political stuff and I had to
(03:00):
really train her over the years, literally with the term
I'm not your audience. Okay, And so it doesn't mean
that you're not spiritually or religiously you know centered. It
doesn't mean that I don't care about politics. It's just
that sometimes we have to train those in our life.
And when I say I'm not your audience, as the
(03:21):
statement to my mom, it isn't that I don't care.
It isn't that you don't care. It's just that everybody's
bandwidth of time is different and some people have more
time to take it in they can. Maybe they're better
than you and I are at you know, weiggling all
the extra time, but we all have the same twenty
four hours in the day, and you might just want
(03:44):
to have that heart to heart and just be very
consistent in your words. So find your own phrasing like
I do with my mom. Be consistent with it. Not
your audience or you know, thanks, but you know, you know, please,
no more, you know what, whatever you want to say,
but keep the languaging consistent so they hear it over
(04:05):
and over again, and eventually he will get that point
of it. He will, and then you also have the
option and the responsibility to either open it, read it
or not. Now I am curious though, when you say
that his behaviors don't match. Can you tell me briefly
what you mean by that?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
And my understanding of religion. I grew up Catholic, but
I understand when I that Catholic are Catholic religions. The
theme is self sacrifice. I believe I could be wrong,
and he preaches a lot of the things he sends
me are beautiful. They're beautiful. They talk about caring about
others before you care about yourself, and things are going
(04:50):
to be hard, but you have to get through it.
But he sends me those messages. And I like what
you said about being an audience because I feel like
my part is the patient is not necessary. I just
have to listen to what he's saying. So that really
kind of hit home with me. I felt when you
said audience, I said, I think I'm just an audience.
He really doesn't want me to comment on his what
(05:11):
he's sending me. I'm just supposed to take it.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
You're a sounding board.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Yep, Yes, that's it. Like I think it's like a
face Facebook thing. Either like it or move on. That
was beautiful what you said their audience.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yeah. And and and the thing is if you get
if he gets a reaction from you, positive, negative, indifferent,
the audience is responding, So you just have to respond
less and be consistent with your phrasing. Now, when it
comes to what people believe in, you know, this is
his life, race to run, and you know everybody in
(05:51):
his life, you included, are just kind of supporting characters, right,
So just like it's his race to run, is life
his story? If he wants to believe in unicorns, if
he wants to believe in sacrifice, if he wants to
believe in you know whatever. You know that that is
his choice, and I think that you have to let
(06:13):
him be who he's going to be because at the
end of the day, the thing about spirituality, religion, it
gives that person comfort in some way. Now we hope
it's not in a dark way, right, but in some
way it gives somebody some sense of comfort, safety, home, camaraderie, community, right.
(06:38):
And if that is what makes him feel his highest
and best, well, as you know someone who cares about him,
you wouldn't want him to not have that right. So
I think for as long as it's not directly influencing
your world, your relationships, your job, right, because there are
many many things that can impact another person's livelihood. If
(07:02):
it's not, I would honestly just let let him be him.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
And I agree Nancy, yep.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
And the best thing you can do, the two best
things we can ever do in life is number one,
be a listener. It's the greatest gift you can give someone.
And even if that means that you're you don't have
to respond and you can just nod, you know you can,
you can just kind of be there. And the second
gift is to be that soft place to fall because
(07:32):
if a time should come where he is disappointed what
he believed ends up not being the case, or who
he hangs out with eventually turn on him. It'd be
really lovely for you to be that place to fall
that home, okay, and home can come in different forms.
It can be the true family home, you know, the
(07:55):
blood line's home. It can be your community home. But
I think that you're you just kind of need to
let and watch, let him be in watch. Can you try?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
That's that's what I do any and I already have
things that I because his personality. If I ever want
to stop the conversations, I just try to talk about
myself and that in any way, shape or form, And
that seems the end of the conversation for a couple
of days.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
You know what, And that is redirecting the question. I
love it. So when he says something, you just redirect
it to something else. What a good skill. Look at you,
and that is what it means to be positively gritty.
Do you see how you're taking what could become negative
at you and you're positively grabbing it by the horns,
(08:43):
taking the steering wheel of both hands, and you're driving
that conversation onto a different path. I think that's great.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Well, yeah, I really appreciate talking to you and the audience.
When you said that, uh one line, I said, oh
my I said, oh my god. I'm an audience. I'm
just sitting I'm I'm his personal audience, and my participation
positively would be appreciated, negatively, or any comments are not appreciated.
(09:14):
Just sit there and be a listener. And uh, that's
my job.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
And you know what, that is a purposeful job. That
means that you're a lifeline, you're an audience, you're a listener,
and sometimes again that's the greatest gift you can give someone. Okay,
so thank you so much for calling in. I'm so
proud of you for all this, all this good questions.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
It doesn't it doesn't cost us anything to listen.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Not at all, not at all. Thank you so much
for calling in and for everybody listening today. I really
love that he asked that question, because when it comes
to matters of the heart, when it comes to family,
when it comes to some of these really sticky situations,
they only are sticky if we let them be. But
(10:00):
I think if you really go back to the place
of grace, you go back to the place of kindness,
you know, being that soft place to fall love that
he's already taken on to learning how to redirect a question.
I think if we all stay in that lane, it's
going to be a good one. It's going to serve
us all well and keep us happy and positive and gritty.
(10:21):
Right now, I want to make sure that you also
stay with us because Calvin Bagley, honestly, I am so
proud of him when I think of someone who has
been through it. When I think of someone who has
felt the lonely in life, who has also tasted sweet success,
but has found his happy place in the middle, which
is I think we all strive for that. That again,
(10:43):
is what it means to be positively gritty, Dig in there,
find your happy and live full out. We'll be back.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without, Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot. Dot org brought to
you by the AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 6 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 6 (12:13):
No, no, no, no, so you can have more control.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistake.
Speaker 7 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 7 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Warning? The cap is loose on that cat young.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Oh don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have prediabetes dot org Today?
Speaker 7 (12:53):
That's do I have prediabetes dot org brought to you
by the AD Council and its pre Diabetes Awareness partners.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Hehu, oh brah, that's buzzed.
Speaker 8 (13:01):
Oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
He's starting with the woots.
Speaker 9 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 10 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 11 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 7 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying, when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 8 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too.
Speaker 7 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.
Speaker 6 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True what you're out?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
You got me?
Speaker 12 (13:35):
Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 13 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's Nfamilyfire dot Org, brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council, adopt.
Speaker 14 (14:00):
Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting a
teenager learning the lingo.
Speaker 10 (14:06):
Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 14 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Soilary As
a life coach. Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You can ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy
Silary and this is the Living Full Out Show, and
today we're talking about being positively gritty in life and
really getting in there, identifying over time what it is
that we want most in our heart, our soul, and
then doing what it takes to get that. And our
inspirational guest today, Calvin Bagley, is such a great example
(15:54):
of finding his way literally, so i'd like to welcome
Calvin to the show.
Speaker 15 (15:59):
Well, thank them, thank you, Nancy.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
It's great to be here with you.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So happy to have you. And I just want our
audience to just get a little glimpse here if I
might hit here. So Calvin, you grew up gosh down
this long stretch of road, twenty miles of potholes, then
it was dirt road for another twenty to this house
that had no electricity, no running water, and inside that
(16:26):
house was your parents and nine of you kiddos, and
you were number seven in line. That's a lot of kids.
That does a lot to deal with. Amongst your dad
having his own violent tendencies, your mom, I know, had
a bit of depression and narcissism, and just there was
(16:46):
just a lot happening in such a small house, and
what you desperately wanted most was acceptance, attention. And one
of your earliest memories, which I think is so so important,
is well, actually it's before your memory, but at three
(17:07):
years old, your father took you out of the arms
of your sister Cynthia and said he is not yours.
But tell her audience what that means.
Speaker 15 (17:18):
Means that my sister was like my mother when I came.
When I was brought home from the hospital at that
you know, that little home at the end of all
those streets roads, my mother handed me to my sister
and said, this one's yours, and then she walked into
the house and essentially did not mother me. My sister
mothered me, and so my body, my being, everything in me.
(17:40):
I look back now and realized believed my sister to
be my mother, and she mothered me, and so when
I was taken from her, it was this very very
deep air that happened inside of me that I was
like being taken from my mother.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Well, I know only a man, Jan Calvin, the rage
and the loneliness and the confusion that you felt, And
I know you just wanted respect from your siblings. You
wanted to feel that love. And there was a day
that you had your kind of makeshift sling shot and
you just kind of wanted to prove yourself to even
your brothers, and you unfortunately hit a beautiful bluebird and
(18:24):
unfortunately he fell to the ground and sadly passed away.
But that moment really stained you in a way that
was very measurable. And how so well.
Speaker 15 (18:35):
I grew up in a home with a lot of violence.
There was violence towards animals, there was violence towards each other.
There was abuse and neglect and so many things happening
and just a very very tumultuous, like broken environment. And
like you said, I really wanted that respect. And when
I killed that bluebird intentionally but sort of on accident,
it wow, I realized that I was capable of all
(18:58):
that violence around me, and I felt so much guilt
and shame, and just to see that that bluebird that
we loved, our little bluebirds that came in this in
our home, and I had been the one that had
taken its life. Essentially, I was just it just I
just changed my feeling towards violence and everything. I didn't
(19:21):
want to create what was around me. I didn't want
to be a purveyor of violence, and that stuck with
me for a long long time. I felt that a
couple of outcomes of that. One was that I buried it.
I didn't I want to tell anyone, and it started
the cycle of shame where you know, I didn't want
to tell anyone what I had done. Another thing, though,
(19:42):
was that I didn't want to be violent like the
things that I had seen around me.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
You know that that beautiful bluebird actually had a purpose,
and it was to teach you those moments early on
and even to this day, that bluebird would be so
proud to know that you keep those lessons near and
dear to your heart. I know for you it kind
of escalated even more. You know, at you didn't really
(20:09):
have the ability to go to school. Your parents told
you all to hide from the school bus. You kind
of had to learn from your sister, Kate, your alphabet,
which I know you you actually learned it backwards. Can
you just tell me how do you say the alphabet backwards?
Speaker 15 (20:26):
Well, you know, in our home the alphabet was across
the top of the living room, and so I walked
down the stairs and see it and say, I didn't
understand which way it started. So when I was seven
and my sister was going to teach me to read,
I had inadvertently memorized at z y x w v
U T s r q p O and m l
k j I, h g f E DCBA. So I
had to relearn some things, and my sister taught me
(20:47):
to read, and education was just avoid in our home.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
Early when it.
Speaker 15 (20:52):
Started, this homeschooling, my parents did it out of necessity.
We lived very far away from from school and everything
like that. But then it turned into this religious isolationism
from the world, and that became a theme of my
entire upbringing, was this total isolation education and healthcare and
other things. And so, thank goodness, my sister taught me
to read, but other than that, there just was no
(21:13):
other education happening in my home.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Well, and on that kind of religious front. The one
thing that you had in the back of your mind
was one day, I'm going to go on a mission.
And through a series of events, you did finally get
that letter and you were given the assignment to go
to Brazil and lo and behold, you had to learn
(21:36):
a new language. How did that learning that new language
help you become better even at English?
Speaker 15 (21:43):
Oh, my heavens, it was, you know, literally, I'll use
the term godsend, because I had, as you said, I'd
wanted to go on a mission for my church, for
the Church of Jesus Christ of latterday Saints, often known
as the Mormon Church. And I had been able to
separate my parents from the church, even though they had
these very boutique, interesting and and bizarre beliefs that they
(22:05):
conflated with with with Christian you know, beliefs like no
eating chocolate and not wearing boys, not wearing shorts. I
would literally play church basketball in jeans. You know, there's
pictures of me playing basketball and jeans and things like that.
So they all these interesting beliefs. I'll call them interesting
now because back then they were they were very difficult
to live and to realize that I was a complete
(22:26):
and total outsider and also didn't understand any education. So
when I got this mission call to go to Brazil,
it was this incredibly exciting moment. I have lived in isolation,
I have been hidden from the world, and now I'm
going to go to another country. And when I opened
that letter and it said Brazil, It's thought for a moment,
is that Africa like I didn't. I'd never even studied
(22:49):
a map to understand, you know, where Brazil was.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
And so I go to the.
Speaker 15 (22:54):
Missionary training center in Provo, Utah, and I began to
learn Portuguese. And for two months, I was just completely
immersed in learning Portuguese. But in order to learn Portuguese,
they had to learn English. I didn't know what a
noun was, and what a verb was, and what an
adverb was, and what a conjugation of a verb was.
All these things. I learned to learn another language, but
(23:14):
in essence, I was learning two languages, and I was
also learning and believing that I could learn and I
could overcome this gap in my knowledge.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
You know, And that is why today we're talking about
being positively gritty, right because you were like, okay, fine,
I will learn both languages. I will start fresh, and
that is where that positivity side comes in.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Now.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I want everyone to stay with us, because while it
looks like his days are bright and sunny, the horizon
is limitless. There is more hurdles to come. So but
we learn from those, we grow from those. So stay
with us. We're going to come back and be positively
gritty together. Stay tuned.
Speaker 16 (24:03):
Today in school I learned a lot. In chemistry, I
learned that no one likes me. In English, I learned
that I'm disgusting, and in Physics, I learned that I'm
a loser.
Speaker 12 (24:16):
Today in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim, I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying. Today.
Speaker 17 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In Chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 16 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 18 (24:42):
And in math I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 16 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, The
only thing I didn't learn today The only thing I
didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 18 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander. At Stop Bullying
dot gov. A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com Forward Slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 19 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, that's who,
and in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled, up. You won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear. Never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the ad Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov. Slash kids Buckle up.
Speaker 20 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at Pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma
and Immunology.
Speaker 10 (27:04):
It's slipping coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 15 (27:07):
Knowlne share.
Speaker 11 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner.
Speaker 8 (27:15):
I get it.
Speaker 11 (27:16):
Flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
with a monitor.
Speaker 12 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 6 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 16 (27:36):
Yeah, it's slipping.
Speaker 15 (27:37):
Coffit check cop to doctor knowlne share.
Speaker 11 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power. Learn more at manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfollout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 20 (28:22):
Welcome back.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
I'm Nancysilarian. This is the Living Full Out Show, and
today we're talking about being positively gritty in life, and
our inspirational guest, Calvin Bagley is joining us. I want
to welcome Calvin back to the show.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
Thank you, Nathy.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
I'm so excited to be here with you, and thank
you for sharing such intimate details of your story because
I feel like I've heard them before in your bio,
but I'm inspired every time you tell these stories. So
thank you. And you know, it's interesting because you have
that experience of going on that mission right going to Brazil,
(28:57):
learning two languages right at the same time. But when
you eventually came home, you know, reality hit. Everybody else
was going to college and you had already kind of
achieved the one thing you were looking forward to your
whole life was kind of in the past, and through
a serious of events, you eventually made your way to
living with your brother Jeff and his wife Julie, and
(29:21):
Julie was patient to work with you to help you
learn all the things you hadn't as a child. You
decided you would put yourself out there apply to go
to school, and obviously got rejected. But then a counselor
at UNOV kind of gave you a shot, which I
think it's so important when we have these people that
(29:43):
walk into our lives randomly and give us that one moment.
What did they let you do?
Speaker 4 (29:49):
Well?
Speaker 15 (29:50):
He was a blessing to me. I had an opportunity
to go, and because of Julie's help, I worked through
and understood a lot about math, and we worked through
the great books and things, and Julie helped me to
get disappointment with an admissions counselor at UNLV. I had
no high school transcript, had a ged that I had
earned when I was twenty one years old. I had
taken the ACT test and had bombed it. You can't
(30:13):
fail the ACT test, thank goodness. But I got the
closest thing and the score to a failure as you
could have. And so I explained this all to her
and said, this is where I'm coming from. I've been
working laboring as like a child labor in my family
since I was a child. I have you come so far?
And I learned to speak Portuguese, and I've tried to
give myself an education, but I need a formal education
(30:36):
and I know I need it. Well, you give me
a chance. And she was compelled by my story and
very kind, and she said, you know what, I have
an idea we can. You can attend UNLV as a
non admitted student for two semesters and during that time
you will essentially be auditing classes, but you will get
grades and things. They just don't count to anything unless
(30:58):
you unless you're admitted. And if at the end of
those two semesters you can prove that you have passing
grades and that you are a good student, we will
admit you as a student UNLV And that is how
I made my way into college.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
And what grade point did you have, mister?
Speaker 4 (31:16):
A four point zero?
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Oh, let's celebrate that, Oh, confetti in the sky, A fool,
That is right, I'm the four point Oh. I just
really have to anchor that moment because that is huge,
huge from where you came from with no schooling. Now
your story goes on right. You eventually, though, were not
(31:40):
comfortable in your skin, even though you had done so well,
had come so far, life kind of took you in
different directions. You left school, you went to go stay
with a friend for a while, and then you ultimately
went and stayed with another sister and her husband, where
at that juncture you did learn about, you know, the
(32:00):
airlines and ultimately had a very successful journey working at
United because of all your travels that you had done
to Brazil, and you were wildly successful as a flight attendant.
But what I can appreciate about your story is that
you just wanted to get your way back to education.
(32:22):
Education had been something you longed for as a boy.
And although you were now flying the skies all around,
you know, internationally, domestically, making good money benefits, inside you
wanted more. And so you found your way back to
Jeff and Julie, back to getting back into school. And
(32:44):
if that wasn't amazing enough, you had even reconnected with
a gal that you had dated a little bit early
early on when you were twenty two. And then you
left school and you ended up getting married. I mean
between thirty one thirty thirty one getting married to thirty four,
graduating finally from U and LV College and in business administration.
(33:08):
I mean, those are some huge moments in life. But
again I'm just telling our audience. Amongst all of that,
you were even working at Bank of America, making your
way from like a banker, just an everyday teller banker,
to a VP. Where did that come from? I mean,
(33:30):
that boy who was hitting his head against a piano
at age seven, that boy who learned the alphabet backwards?
How did you get to that place?
Speaker 15 (33:41):
It really is about It is about grit, and it's
you know, it's not easy for me to sit here
and say, oh, yeah, I had grit and everything because
you look back and you say this journey was very
slow developing. Well, you just keep moving forward. I mean,
that's what grit is, right, just to keep taking one
step at a time. And there were many times that
my steps went backwards. But through that journey, I just
(34:05):
keep trying to take a step forward and keep moving
in the right direction. And so it's also difficult to
understand how it is to never have experienced schooling at
all and to not have any of that structure and
to show up at school and work through it and
have all those classes where you're being lectured to and
you're giving your first term paper and your first test
(34:26):
and everything like that. And so it wasn't easy for
me to do that, and so I took some breaks
from it, and it took over ten years for me
to graduate. So these were just one step at a time,
keep moving in the right direction, and celebrate your wins.
You know, the horizon keeps moving out there, and if
you're always heading for the horizon, you'll never feel like
you arrived anywhere. But if you look back and say, hey,
(34:47):
I came somewhere. That's really what I was trying to
do is just take one step at a time and
then it's amazing if you keep moving forward, what can happen?
Speaker 2 (34:56):
You Know, what I think is interesting about your story too,
is just life can be scary sometimes when you feel
like you want something so bad and it's out of reach,
like the schooling. At one time, it might have been scary,
like will it ever happen? You know, I know you
and your wife. You you wanted so badly kiddos, and
(35:16):
you eventually got them, but even that was a challenge
that that was scary, What if we can't build this
family we want? And your entire childhood was around acceptance
and you eventually had major way through all of that scary,
all of that isolation, all of that twist and turns
(35:36):
to becoming very successful at Bank of America. But you
decided to leave those accolades, leave you know, that stability to.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Do what.
Speaker 15 (35:49):
I had always wanted to start my own business and
to be an entrepreneur. And when the opportunity presented, I
took it together with you know, the support of my wife,
to go into insurance and to begin helping people with
their Medicare insurance. So when people retire as seniors, they
need help with choosing the type of insurance that goes
with their Medicare. And that's what I began doing. And
because I had moved from isolation as a child to
(36:13):
this new world of connection as an adult and had
all these wonderful people around me, I began to building.
I began building connection in insurance, and insurance can be
very isolated. Actually a lot of insurance agents were totally independent.
And I began to build something with a team around
me of wonderful people, and it grew and grew and
(36:33):
to the point that now we have assisted over sixty
thousand people with their Medicare and health insurance through this
team of people working together in community.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
And that's kind of been.
Speaker 15 (36:43):
If I could give an overarching theme of what I'm
most proud of in my life, it is moving from
isolation to connection.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Well, and that bluebird would be really proud of you,
Julie cheering you on. That counselor we don't know her name,
but wow, she'd be surprised to see where you are today.
And again along the way, you even found yourself gaining
some admiration from your father. I know he's passed away,
(37:12):
but you know his violence, his input and how you
grew up. He was actually very proud of you in
his final days. What did that mean to you?
Speaker 4 (37:24):
It meant so much.
Speaker 15 (37:25):
And my father's mind began to deteriorate as he aged.
Before he passed, he suffered from Alzheimer's and demension things
and he didn't he didn't. He wasn't the same, and in
a way, as terrible as that disease is, it was
as if his mind got out of the way of
his heart. And so a little piece of grace and
(37:46):
maybe a tender mercy there is that as in the
last years of my father, instead of expressing frustration or saying,
you know, why did you need that ged just so
you have a piece of paper that says you're smart.
All these types of things he had said to me
before transition into I'm proud of you. You have a
beautiful wife, I'm proud of you what you accomplished in life,
(38:06):
and just love and so was that meant a lot
to me. That that was the endpoint of my father
was different than the beginning point.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
And you have come so far. But I know one
of your fears. You don't have many, but one in
the back is losing it all, you know. And I
think a lot of us have that fear, like in
a hot minute, right things can be gone, a person
can be gone. How do you calm those fears?
Speaker 4 (38:37):
You know?
Speaker 15 (38:38):
Perhaps I have that fear because I've seen the other side,
and you're always afraid. You're always moving, trying to run
as far away from that as you can, and so
I try to calm that by calming my mind. There
are so many voices that are happening all the time
in your head, and I'm sure that listeners can relate,
you know, the things that are the voices inside your
head telling you you're not good enough, you're not as
(39:01):
good as someone else, or whatever they are saying to you.
And I have found ways to calm that by just
being the observer. I learned that from the powerful book
The Power of Now by Eckert Toley, And it just
helps me to observe what my mind is doing, observe
what the feelings that I'm having in my heart or
in my chest, and by observing them, they often quiet.
(39:23):
And I realized, you know what I'm very fortunate to
be where I am. Let me enjoy and celebrate where
I am and reaching this point in my life. I
just turned fifty, and I'm so happy with all the
connections surrounding me. I've realized I wouldn't go back and
change anything. For a long time I thought, Oh, I
wish I could go back and change this and change
that and change this. I wouldn't change anything because how
(39:46):
else would I arrive here and be who I am today? Well?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Love that and gosh, super quick, what does living fall
out mean to you?
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Oh?
Speaker 15 (39:58):
I think living fallout means living right here, right now,
embracing what's around you.
Speaker 4 (40:03):
Don't look so much at the.
Speaker 15 (40:04):
Horizon, because like I said, it's always going to be moving.
To celebrate where you are and love life and love
the people around you and live in connection.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
That sounds like a man who got a four point.
Oh I'm telling you you are. You're very bright, You're
very smart. You are just so much what it means
to be positively gritty but also also live full out.
So thank you so much for sharing your story with
us today and giving us such great insights and for everybody,
(40:33):
just like Calvin, if you have a story we'd love
to hear from you. Make sure you reach out to
us at connect at livingfullout dot com because that's how
we inspire each other through opening up, pulling back the curtain,
and sharing our truth. And when we do that, I
think we find that we're more alike than we're different.
So we'll be right back after this break. Stay with us.
Speaker 9 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months,
they're combining vowels and consonants talk, By nine months, they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months
(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, man,
especially if there's no babbling at all. Little to no
babbling by twelve months or later is just one of
the possible signs of autism and children. Early screening and
intervention can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a
(41:49):
world of possibilities. Take the first step at Autism Speaks
dot org. A public service announcement brought to you by
Autism Speaks and the Aduncil.
Speaker 21 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 6 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 21 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin, UVB rays burn, and both
cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't count if you
use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day.
Speaker 15 (42:33):
Wrong.
Speaker 21 (42:34):
Eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope, anytime you're outside,
UB rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information.
(42:57):
A message from the US Food and Drug Admans.
Speaker 8 (43:01):
Right now, our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 18 (43:06):
I gotta tell you, I was nervous to talk to
someone so different than me.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
Me too, but I'm glad you are.
Speaker 8 (43:12):
Love has no labels, and one small step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 22 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 16 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash one Small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation of your own.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
I know one thing.
Speaker 15 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 8 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation. At Love has
No Labels dot com slash one Small Step. A message
from story Core Love has No Labels and the ad Council.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 15 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
I'm planning that tree. You Remember.
Speaker 22 (44:10):
No matter how large or small your digging project may be,
no matter how urban or rural, you must always call
eight one one before any digging project. Eight one to
one is our national one call number, alerting your local
utility companies to come out and mark any lines they
have near your dig site. You must call eight one
(44:32):
to one at least two to three business days before
any digging project so you can avoid hitting our essential
buried utilities. This includes natural gas and petroleum pipelines, electra
communication cables, and water and sewer lines. So before you
do this or this, make sure you do this. For
(44:54):
digging projects big or small, make the call to eight
one to one brought to you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to being positively gritty, don't shy away
from it. Get excited. I want you to smile through
those tears. Truly, if you feel sweat coming down your cheek,
that's a good thing because what you are working for
has meaning. You want to know that everything, every energy,
every vibration is getting you right to where you're meant
(45:24):
to be. And when you hit that point, you'll still
be smiling because you're living full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfoullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
It has been so great being with you today. I'm
the see silariing this the Living full Out show, and
surely I love the idea. A'm positively gritty, and I
almost feel like that is something I do on the
daily for sure. As many of you know, I have
what's called retinitis pigmentosa, which has caused me to go
legally blind. Now it's interesting because I super wish I
(46:19):
could still drive. I wish I could just jump in
the car and go wherever I want. But if I
did that, I want to have my beautiful fur baby
guide dog, Frost, who is such a love of my life.
And at the same time, I also have seen a
side of people. I don't know that I would see
it the same way if I had perfect twenty twenty vision.
(46:40):
There's just this kindness that I've seen over time, where
people have offered their arm or they've gently explained things,
and it's just so helpful. And I can feel that
as much as it's I'm grateful for it, I can
tell that it's ability for them to serve their moment
to give, and so we both win in that moment.
(47:03):
And in fact, as somebody who is legally blind, you know,
picking up a piece of paper and reading it can't
happen or looking at my computer and just reading it
never going to happen. And so I use a lot
of low vision talking devices, you name it. And why
sometimes I say I have to be positively gritty is
(47:25):
for as much as I'm pretty savvy, my brain like
things do click. I get the overarching idea of things.
You know, tech is still tech, right, it can be tricky.
And I literally the other day, once a year, I
have like accessibility Bonanza day, and I really upgrade everything
and I learned new devices, and the other day, well
(47:46):
there was not enough mocktails for the end of that day.
It was so exhausting for my brain. But yet as
much as it was gritty and exhausting, it was positive
because I know the more of those tools I have
and accessibility mobility ways I can achieve, it allows Nancy
(48:08):
to be independent and thriving, not just as a person
but also in leading my company. And so I just
want you to literally picture me, right, I can't even
see my own face, but yet I'm holding these devices.
Like one device is a GPS. It allows me to
clock in what are called landmarks, so as I'm walking
(48:29):
around town, if there's a place that I might trip
or fall or if there's a restaurant that I want
to go to all the time, I can make a
landmark and when I go by there, it'll tell me
I'm there instantly. Pretty cool, huh. I also have this
other device that it's actually a software on my computer.
It's a device as well, and it allows me to
(48:49):
put on a headset. I look a little bit like
Britney Spears, but I put on thist headset and I
can talk out everything into the headset and it allows
it to put everything on a word doc. It can
allow me to voice emails and text messages. And I'm
zooming along in my day hands free, doing even more
(49:09):
things than I could do. Probably if I saw and
I'm just talking through this microphone this headset, and everything
is getting documented to who it needs to go to
in a timely manner, then oh my gosh, this is
the coolest thing in the world. I even have on
my phone because I have an iPhone and on any smartphone,
(49:30):
there are different apps that you can get. One is
called be my Eyes, another one called Iira the two
that I use, and you can actually get someone twenty
four to seven, a live person through the camera of
your phone to be able to tell you what you
can't see. They can zoom in, they can take pictures.
It is awesome. And most recently, thank you Meta and
(49:53):
ray Ban because when I'm out and about with my
guide dog, you know, there might be times I want
to take a picture, take a video, as times I
might not be able to see something and they can
zoom in. I've got these Meta ray Band glasses where
I can do all of that. I can make calls
with these glasses. I can call Ira and be my eyes,
and those live folks through my phone can now see
(50:16):
through my glasses. I mean, hooray for technology, hooray for
all those people that got positively gritty saying, you know what,
I want to solve a problem. I want visually impaired
blind people, people who are missing limbs, people who maybe
are limited in their ability to do any mobility or
(50:38):
have any condition where it prevents them from being able
to see or hear. We want them to thrive. So
in honor of this show, I want to thank those
who really have taken time and effort that grit to
look to develop the softwares and the devices that allow
people like me to just go out there and do
(51:00):
beach runs even though I can't see, and you know,
walk around town and navigate airports, and again, like I said,
run my global media business. Everything I do is thanks
to the accessibility that others positively, grittily created. So thank you.
I tip my hat to you and cheering you on
(51:21):
to do more, more good actions. But just like those
creators of those accessibilities, I believe we all have that
ability to serve. We all have that ability to step
in there and make a difference. I do that through
the power of broadcasting and writing in different ways that
I serve my clients. But I want you to plug
into a friend, a family member, a neighbor. Consider looking
(51:45):
at your role, at your career, at your office. You know,
how can you take things up a notch? How can
you say today is the day I am gonna get
positively gritty. It may hurt, I'm I cry, and may
you know, get a little frustrated, but I know that
if I dig in, I can make action happen. I
can make a difference and make somebody else's life better. That,
(52:06):
my friends, is what living full out is all about.
So I want to thank everybody for listening today Again,
go to the living full Out Show app download it,
listen to us on the go.
Speaker 8 (52:17):
We believe in you.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
Here's to you, Living full Out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to the Living full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfullout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hello, and welcome to The Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Silari, and today we're going to be
talking about positively gerrity. Oh god, I love that word gritty.
It means that you're really passionate about something. You want
to dig in, you want to give it your all,
and yeah, you might sweat a bit, you might cry
a little, but at the end of the day, the
things that are worth crying for, a working hard for
(00:41):
are honestly the ones that we are oftentimes the most
proud of. So I want you to dig in. I
want you to be positive about it and truly achieve
everything that you want in life. Our inspirational guests coming
up in our next segment Cavin Bagley. Honestly, he's such
a great example of what it means to live full out,
but truly he had to get very gritty with the
(01:02):
way that he grew up with who he is today,
and you'll know what I mean when you lean into
his story. I also want to make sure that be
on today's show, you will always have us right literally
in your back pocket on your phone. Remember that you
can go to the app store just look for the
Living Full Out Show app. It's free, and you can
listen to us at the gym, in the car anytime
(01:22):
and hear story after story to give you that empowerment
you need to be positively gritty in your life. Now,
I am getting word from our producer that we do
a listener on the line. Let's go check in with them. Hello,
welcome to the Living Full Out Show.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Hello, how are you?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I am great, Nice to hear your voice. How can
I help you?
Speaker 4 (01:43):
I had a situation with a family member. I don't
know if it applies to the topic you have today,
but he became very religious five or six years ago,
maybe several years ago, born again Christian something, and ever
since he's bombarded me every day with many, many.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Many.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Religious quotes which I think are fantastic. I think the
message that he sends me is a beautiful message for anybody,
whether you believe in a higher power or whether you
have any sort of organized religion, but he sends it
to me every day, and that's I don't know if
that's really the issue. I think the issue for me
(02:31):
is that his behavior is contradictory to the message. If
that makes any sense.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
It makes perfect sense. And actually both of your points
make sense. I want to address the first one and
then want to ask you real quick about the behavior. Okay,
So on the first one, For example, my mom. I
love my mom. She's one of my best friends, but
she'll oftentimes send me political stuff and I had to
(03:00):
really train her over the years, literally with the term
I'm not your audience. Okay, And so it doesn't mean
that you're not spiritually or religiously you know centered. It
doesn't mean that I don't care about politics. It's just
that sometimes we have to train those in our life.
And when I say I'm not your audience, as the
(03:21):
statement to my mom, it isn't that I don't care.
It isn't that you don't care. It's just that everybody's
bandwidth of time is different and some people have more
time to take it in they can. Maybe they're better
than you and I are at you know, weiggling all
the extra time, but we all have the same twenty
four hours in the day, and you might just want
(03:44):
to have that heart to heart and just be very
consistent in your words. So find your own phrasing like
I do with my mom. Be consistent with it. Not
your audience or you know, thanks, but you know, you know, please,
no more, you know what, whatever you want to say,
but keep the languaging consistent so they hear it over
(04:05):
and over again, and eventually he will get that point
of it. He will, and then you also have the
option and the responsibility to either open it, read it
or not. Now I am curious though, when you say
that his behaviors don't match. Can you tell me briefly
what you mean by that?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
And my understanding of religion. I grew up Catholic, but
I understand when I that Catholic are Catholic religions. The
theme is self sacrifice. I believe I could be wrong,
and he preaches a lot of the things he sends
me are beautiful. They're beautiful. They talk about caring about
others before you care about yourself, and things are going
(04:50):
to be hard, but you have to get through it.
But he sends me those messages. And I like what
you said about being an audience because I feel like
my part is the patient is not necessary. I just
have to listen to what he's saying. So that really
kind of hit home with me. I felt when you
said audience, I said, I think I'm just an audience.
He really doesn't want me to comment on his what
(05:11):
he's sending me. I'm just supposed to take it.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
You're a sounding board.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Yep, Yes, that's it. Like I think it's like a
face Facebook thing. Either like it or move on. That
was beautiful what you said their audience.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yeah. And and and the thing is if you get
if he gets a reaction from you, positive, negative, indifferent,
the audience is responding, So you just have to respond
less and be consistent with your phrasing. Now, when it
comes to what people believe in, you know, this is
his life, race to run, and you know everybody in
(05:51):
his life, you included, are just kind of supporting characters, right,
So just like it's his race to run, is life
his story? If he wants to believe in unicorns, if
he wants to believe in sacrifice, if he wants to
believe in you know whatever. You know that that is
his choice, and I think that you have to let
(06:13):
him be who he's going to be because at the
end of the day, the thing about spirituality, religion, it
gives that person comfort in some way. Now we hope
it's not in a dark way, right, but in some
way it gives somebody some sense of comfort, safety, home, camaraderie, community, right.
(06:38):
And if that is what makes him feel his highest
and best, well, as you know someone who cares about him,
you wouldn't want him to not have that right. So
I think for as long as it's not directly influencing
your world, your relationships, your job, right, because there are
many many things that can impact another person's livelihood. If
(07:02):
it's not, I would honestly just let let him be him.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
And I agree Nancy, yep.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
And the best thing you can do, the two best
things we can ever do in life is number one,
be a listener. It's the greatest gift you can give someone.
And even if that means that you're you don't have
to respond and you can just nod, you know you can,
you can just kind of be there. And the second
gift is to be that soft place to fall because
(07:32):
if a time should come where he is disappointed what
he believed ends up not being the case, or who
he hangs out with eventually turn on him. It'd be
really lovely for you to be that place to fall
that home, okay, and home can come in different forms.
It can be the true family home, you know, the
(07:55):
blood line's home. It can be your community home. But
I think that you're you just kind of need to
let and watch, let him be in watch. Can you try?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
That's that's what I do any and I already have
things that I because his personality. If I ever want
to stop the conversations, I just try to talk about
myself and that in any way, shape or form, And
that seems the end of the conversation for a couple
of days.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
You know what, And that is redirecting the question. I
love it. So when he says something, you just redirect
it to something else. What a good skill. Look at you,
and that is what it means to be positively gritty.
Do you see how you're taking what could become negative
at you and you're positively grabbing it by the horns,
(08:43):
taking the steering wheel of both hands, and you're driving
that conversation onto a different path. I think that's great.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Well, yeah, I really appreciate talking to you and the audience.
When you said that, uh one line, I said, oh
my I said, oh my god. I'm an audience. I'm
just sitting I'm I'm his personal audience, and my participation
positively would be appreciated, negatively, or any comments are not appreciated.
(09:14):
Just sit there and be a listener. And uh, that's
my job.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
And you know what, that is a purposeful job. That
means that you're a lifeline, you're an audience, you're a listener,
and sometimes again that's the greatest gift you can give someone. Okay,
so thank you so much for calling in. I'm so
proud of you for all this, all this good questions.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
It doesn't it doesn't cost us anything to listen.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Not at all, not at all. Thank you so much
for calling in and for everybody listening today. I really
love that he asked that question, because when it comes
to matters of the heart, when it comes to family,
when it comes to some of these really sticky situations,
they only are sticky if we let them be. But
(10:00):
I think if you really go back to the place
of grace, you go back to the place of kindness,
you know, being that soft place to fall love that
he's already taken on to learning how to redirect a question.
I think if we all stay in that lane, it's
going to be a good one. It's going to serve
us all well and keep us happy and positive and gritty.
(10:21):
Right now, I want to make sure that you also
stay with us because Calvin Bagley, honestly, I am so
proud of him when I think of someone who has
been through it. When I think of someone who has
felt the lonely in life, who has also tasted sweet success,
but has found his happy place in the middle, which
is I think we all strive for that. That again,
(10:43):
is what it means to be positively gritty, Dig in there,
find your happy and live full out. We'll be back.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without, Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot. Dot org brought to
you by the AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 6 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 6 (12:13):
No, no, no, no, so you can have more control.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistake.
Speaker 7 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 7 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Warning? The cap is loose on that cat young.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Oh don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have prediabetes dot org Today?
Speaker 7 (12:53):
That's do I have prediabetes dot org brought to you
by the AD Council and its pre Diabetes Awareness partners.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Hehu, oh brah, that's buzzed.
Speaker 8 (13:01):
Oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
He's starting with the woots.
Speaker 9 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 10 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 11 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 7 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying, when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 8 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too.
Speaker 7 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.
Speaker 6 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True what you're out?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
You got me?
Speaker 12 (13:35):
Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 13 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's Nfamilyfire dot Org, brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council, adopt.
Speaker 14 (14:00):
Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting a
teenager learning the lingo.
Speaker 10 (14:06):
Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 14 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Soilary As
a life coach. Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You can ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy
Silary and this is the Living Full Out Show, and
today we're talking about being positively gritty in life and
really getting in there, identifying over time what it is
that we want most in our heart, our soul, and
then doing what it takes to get that. And our
inspirational guest today, Calvin Bagley, is such a great example
(15:54):
of finding his way literally, so i'd like to welcome
Calvin to the show.
Speaker 15 (15:59):
Well, thank them, thank you, Nancy.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
It's great to be here with you.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So happy to have you. And I just want our
audience to just get a little glimpse here if I
might hit here. So Calvin, you grew up gosh down
this long stretch of road, twenty miles of potholes, then
it was dirt road for another twenty to this house
that had no electricity, no running water, and inside that
(16:26):
house was your parents and nine of you kiddos, and
you were number seven in line. That's a lot of kids.
That does a lot to deal with. Amongst your dad
having his own violent tendencies, your mom, I know, had
a bit of depression and narcissism, and just there was
(16:46):
just a lot happening in such a small house, and
what you desperately wanted most was acceptance, attention. And one
of your earliest memories, which I think is so so important,
is well, actually it's before your memory, but at three
(17:07):
years old, your father took you out of the arms
of your sister Cynthia and said he is not yours.
But tell her audience what that means.
Speaker 15 (17:18):
Means that my sister was like my mother when I came.
When I was brought home from the hospital at that
you know, that little home at the end of all
those streets roads, my mother handed me to my sister
and said, this one's yours, and then she walked into
the house and essentially did not mother me. My sister
mothered me, and so my body, my being, everything in me.
(17:40):
I look back now and realized believed my sister to
be my mother, and she mothered me, and so when
I was taken from her, it was this very very
deep air that happened inside of me that I was
like being taken from my mother.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Well, I know only a man, Jan Calvin, the rage
and the loneliness and the confusion that you felt, And
I know you just wanted respect from your siblings. You
wanted to feel that love. And there was a day
that you had your kind of makeshift sling shot and
you just kind of wanted to prove yourself to even
your brothers, and you unfortunately hit a beautiful bluebird and
(18:24):
unfortunately he fell to the ground and sadly passed away.
But that moment really stained you in a way that
was very measurable. And how so well.
Speaker 15 (18:35):
I grew up in a home with a lot of violence.
There was violence towards animals, there was violence towards each other.
There was abuse and neglect and so many things happening
and just a very very tumultuous, like broken environment. And
like you said, I really wanted that respect. And when
I killed that bluebird intentionally but sort of on accident,
it wow, I realized that I was capable of all
(18:58):
that violence around me, and I felt so much guilt
and shame, and just to see that that bluebird that
we loved, our little bluebirds that came in this in
our home, and I had been the one that had
taken its life. Essentially, I was just it just I
just changed my feeling towards violence and everything. I didn't
(19:21):
want to create what was around me. I didn't want
to be a purveyor of violence, and that stuck with
me for a long long time. I felt that a
couple of outcomes of that. One was that I buried it.
I didn't I want to tell anyone, and it started
the cycle of shame where you know, I didn't want
to tell anyone what I had done. Another thing, though,
(19:42):
was that I didn't want to be violent like the
things that I had seen around me.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
You know that that beautiful bluebird actually had a purpose,
and it was to teach you those moments early on
and even to this day, that bluebird would be so
proud to know that you keep those lessons near and
dear to your heart. I know for you it kind
of escalated even more. You know, at you didn't really
(20:09):
have the ability to go to school. Your parents told
you all to hide from the school bus. You kind
of had to learn from your sister, Kate, your alphabet,
which I know you you actually learned it backwards. Can
you just tell me how do you say the alphabet backwards?
Speaker 15 (20:26):
Well, you know, in our home the alphabet was across
the top of the living room, and so I walked
down the stairs and see it and say, I didn't
understand which way it started. So when I was seven
and my sister was going to teach me to read,
I had inadvertently memorized at z y x w v
U T s r q p O and m l
k j I, h g f E DCBA. So I
had to relearn some things, and my sister taught me
(20:47):
to read, and education was just avoid in our home.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
Early when it.
Speaker 15 (20:52):
Started, this homeschooling, my parents did it out of necessity.
We lived very far away from from school and everything
like that. But then it turned into this religious isolationism
from the world, and that became a theme of my
entire upbringing, was this total isolation education and healthcare and
other things. And so, thank goodness, my sister taught me
to read, but other than that, there just was no
(21:13):
other education happening in my home.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Well, and on that kind of religious front. The one
thing that you had in the back of your mind
was one day, I'm going to go on a mission.
And through a series of events, you did finally get
that letter and you were given the assignment to go
to Brazil and lo and behold, you had to learn
(21:36):
a new language. How did that learning that new language
help you become better even at English?
Speaker 15 (21:43):
Oh, my heavens, it was, you know, literally, I'll use
the term godsend, because I had, as you said, I'd
wanted to go on a mission for my church, for
the Church of Jesus Christ of latterday Saints, often known
as the Mormon Church. And I had been able to
separate my parents from the church, even though they had
these very boutique, interesting and and bizarre beliefs that they
(22:05):
conflated with with with Christian you know, beliefs like no
eating chocolate and not wearing boys, not wearing shorts. I
would literally play church basketball in jeans. You know, there's
pictures of me playing basketball and jeans and things like that.
So they all these interesting beliefs. I'll call them interesting
now because back then they were they were very difficult
to live and to realize that I was a complete
(22:26):
and total outsider and also didn't understand any education. So
when I got this mission call to go to Brazil,
it was this incredibly exciting moment. I have lived in isolation,
I have been hidden from the world, and now I'm
going to go to another country. And when I opened
that letter and it said Brazil, It's thought for a moment,
is that Africa like I didn't. I'd never even studied
(22:49):
a map to understand, you know, where Brazil was.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
And so I go to the.
Speaker 15 (22:54):
Missionary training center in Provo, Utah, and I began to
learn Portuguese. And for two months, I was just completely
immersed in learning Portuguese. But in order to learn Portuguese,
they had to learn English. I didn't know what a
noun was, and what a verb was, and what an
adverb was, and what a conjugation of a verb was.
All these things. I learned to learn another language, but
(23:14):
in essence, I was learning two languages, and I was
also learning and believing that I could learn and I
could overcome this gap in my knowledge.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
You know, And that is why today we're talking about
being positively gritty, right because you were like, okay, fine,
I will learn both languages. I will start fresh, and
that is where that positivity side comes in.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Now.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I want everyone to stay with us, because while it
looks like his days are bright and sunny, the horizon
is limitless. There is more hurdles to come. So but
we learn from those, we grow from those. So stay
with us. We're going to come back and be positively
gritty together. Stay tuned.
Speaker 16 (24:03):
Today in school I learned a lot. In chemistry, I
learned that no one likes me. In English, I learned
that I'm disgusting, and in Physics, I learned that I'm
a loser.
Speaker 12 (24:16):
Today in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim, I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying. Today.
Speaker 17 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In Chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 16 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 18 (24:42):
And in math I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 16 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, The
only thing I didn't learn today The only thing I
didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 18 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander. At Stop Bullying
dot gov. A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com Forward Slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 19 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, that's who,
and in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled, up. You won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear. Never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the ad Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov. Slash kids Buckle up.
Speaker 20 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at Pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma
and Immunology.
Speaker 10 (27:04):
It's slipping coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 15 (27:07):
Knowlne share.
Speaker 11 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner.
Speaker 8 (27:15):
I get it.
Speaker 11 (27:16):
Flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
with a monitor.
Speaker 12 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 6 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 16 (27:36):
Yeah, it's slipping.
Speaker 15 (27:37):
Coffit check cop to doctor knowlne share.
Speaker 11 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power. Learn more at manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfollout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 20 (28:22):
Welcome back.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
I'm Nancysilarian. This is the Living Full Out Show, and
today we're talking about being positively gritty in life, and
our inspirational guest, Calvin Bagley is joining us. I want
to welcome Calvin back to the show.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
Thank you, Nathy.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
I'm so excited to be here with you, and thank
you for sharing such intimate details of your story because
I feel like I've heard them before in your bio,
but I'm inspired every time you tell these stories. So
thank you. And you know, it's interesting because you have
that experience of going on that mission right going to Brazil,
(28:57):
learning two languages right at the same time. But when
you eventually came home, you know, reality hit. Everybody else
was going to college and you had already kind of
achieved the one thing you were looking forward to your
whole life was kind of in the past, and through
a serious of events, you eventually made your way to
living with your brother Jeff and his wife Julie, and
(29:21):
Julie was patient to work with you to help you
learn all the things you hadn't as a child. You
decided you would put yourself out there apply to go
to school, and obviously got rejected. But then a counselor
at UNOV kind of gave you a shot, which I
think it's so important when we have these people that
(29:43):
walk into our lives randomly and give us that one moment.
What did they let you do?
Speaker 4 (29:49):
Well?
Speaker 15 (29:50):
He was a blessing to me. I had an opportunity
to go, and because of Julie's help, I worked through
and understood a lot about math, and we worked through
the great books and things, and Julie helped me to
get disappointment with an admissions counselor at UNLV. I had
no high school transcript, had a ged that I had
earned when I was twenty one years old. I had
taken the ACT test and had bombed it. You can't
(30:13):
fail the ACT test, thank goodness. But I got the
closest thing and the score to a failure as you
could have. And so I explained this all to her
and said, this is where I'm coming from. I've been
working laboring as like a child labor in my family
since I was a child. I have you come so far?
And I learned to speak Portuguese, and I've tried to
give myself an education, but I need a formal education
(30:36):
and I know I need it. Well, you give me
a chance. And she was compelled by my story and
very kind, and she said, you know what, I have
an idea we can. You can attend UNLV as a
non admitted student for two semesters and during that time
you will essentially be auditing classes, but you will get
grades and things. They just don't count to anything unless
(30:58):
you unless you're admitted. And if at the end of
those two semesters you can prove that you have passing
grades and that you are a good student, we will
admit you as a student UNLV And that is how
I made my way into college.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
And what grade point did you have, mister?
Speaker 4 (31:16):
A four point zero?
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Oh, let's celebrate that, Oh, confetti in the sky, A fool,
That is right, I'm the four point Oh. I just
really have to anchor that moment because that is huge,
huge from where you came from with no schooling. Now
your story goes on right. You eventually, though, were not
(31:40):
comfortable in your skin, even though you had done so well,
had come so far, life kind of took you in
different directions. You left school, you went to go stay
with a friend for a while, and then you ultimately
went and stayed with another sister and her husband, where
at that juncture you did learn about, you know, the
(32:00):
airlines and ultimately had a very successful journey working at
United because of all your travels that you had done
to Brazil, and you were wildly successful as a flight attendant.
But what I can appreciate about your story is that
you just wanted to get your way back to education.
(32:22):
Education had been something you longed for as a boy.
And although you were now flying the skies all around,
you know, internationally, domestically, making good money benefits, inside you
wanted more. And so you found your way back to
Jeff and Julie, back to getting back into school. And
(32:44):
if that wasn't amazing enough, you had even reconnected with
a gal that you had dated a little bit early
early on when you were twenty two. And then you
left school and you ended up getting married. I mean
between thirty one thirty thirty one getting married to thirty four,
graduating finally from U and LV College and in business administration.
(33:08):
I mean, those are some huge moments in life. But
again I'm just telling our audience. Amongst all of that,
you were even working at Bank of America, making your
way from like a banker, just an everyday teller banker,
to a VP. Where did that come from? I mean,
(33:30):
that boy who was hitting his head against a piano
at age seven, that boy who learned the alphabet backwards?
How did you get to that place?
Speaker 15 (33:41):
It really is about It is about grit, and it's
you know, it's not easy for me to sit here
and say, oh, yeah, I had grit and everything because
you look back and you say this journey was very
slow developing. Well, you just keep moving forward. I mean,
that's what grit is, right, just to keep taking one
step at a time. And there were many times that
my steps went backwards. But through that journey, I just
(34:05):
keep trying to take a step forward and keep moving
in the right direction. And so it's also difficult to
understand how it is to never have experienced schooling at
all and to not have any of that structure and
to show up at school and work through it and
have all those classes where you're being lectured to and
you're giving your first term paper and your first test
(34:26):
and everything like that. And so it wasn't easy for
me to do that, and so I took some breaks
from it, and it took over ten years for me
to graduate. So these were just one step at a time,
keep moving in the right direction, and celebrate your wins.
You know, the horizon keeps moving out there, and if
you're always heading for the horizon, you'll never feel like
you arrived anywhere. But if you look back and say, hey,
(34:47):
I came somewhere. That's really what I was trying to
do is just take one step at a time and
then it's amazing if you keep moving forward, what can happen?
Speaker 2 (34:56):
You Know, what I think is interesting about your story too,
is just life can be scary sometimes when you feel
like you want something so bad and it's out of reach,
like the schooling. At one time, it might have been scary,
like will it ever happen? You know, I know you
and your wife. You you wanted so badly kiddos, and
(35:16):
you eventually got them, but even that was a challenge
that that was scary, What if we can't build this
family we want? And your entire childhood was around acceptance
and you eventually had major way through all of that scary,
all of that isolation, all of that twist and turns
(35:36):
to becoming very successful at Bank of America. But you
decided to leave those accolades, leave you know, that stability to.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Do what.
Speaker 15 (35:49):
I had always wanted to start my own business and
to be an entrepreneur. And when the opportunity presented, I
took it together with you know, the support of my wife,
to go into insurance and to begin helping people with
their Medicare insurance. So when people retire as seniors, they
need help with choosing the type of insurance that goes
with their Medicare. And that's what I began doing. And
because I had moved from isolation as a child to
(36:13):
this new world of connection as an adult and had
all these wonderful people around me, I began to building.
I began building connection in insurance, and insurance can be
very isolated. Actually a lot of insurance agents were totally independent.
And I began to build something with a team around
me of wonderful people, and it grew and grew and
(36:33):
to the point that now we have assisted over sixty
thousand people with their Medicare and health insurance through this
team of people working together in community.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
And that's kind of been.
Speaker 15 (36:43):
If I could give an overarching theme of what I'm
most proud of in my life, it is moving from
isolation to connection.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Well, and that bluebird would be really proud of you,
Julie cheering you on. That counselor we don't know her name,
but wow, she'd be surprised to see where you are today.
And again along the way, you even found yourself gaining
some admiration from your father. I know he's passed away,
(37:12):
but you know his violence, his input and how you
grew up. He was actually very proud of you in
his final days. What did that mean to you?
Speaker 4 (37:24):
It meant so much.
Speaker 15 (37:25):
And my father's mind began to deteriorate as he aged.
Before he passed, he suffered from Alzheimer's and demension things
and he didn't he didn't. He wasn't the same, and in
a way, as terrible as that disease is, it was
as if his mind got out of the way of
his heart. And so a little piece of grace and
(37:46):
maybe a tender mercy there is that as in the
last years of my father, instead of expressing frustration or saying,
you know, why did you need that ged just so
you have a piece of paper that says you're smart.
All these types of things he had said to me
before transition into I'm proud of you. You have a
beautiful wife, I'm proud of you what you accomplished in life,
(38:06):
and just love and so was that meant a lot
to me. That that was the endpoint of my father
was different than the beginning point.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
And you have come so far. But I know one
of your fears. You don't have many, but one in
the back is losing it all, you know. And I
think a lot of us have that fear, like in
a hot minute, right things can be gone, a person
can be gone. How do you calm those fears?
Speaker 4 (38:37):
You know?
Speaker 15 (38:38):
Perhaps I have that fear because I've seen the other side,
and you're always afraid. You're always moving, trying to run
as far away from that as you can, and so
I try to calm that by calming my mind. There
are so many voices that are happening all the time
in your head, and I'm sure that listeners can relate,
you know, the things that are the voices inside your
head telling you you're not good enough, you're not as
(39:01):
good as someone else, or whatever they are saying to you.
And I have found ways to calm that by just
being the observer. I learned that from the powerful book
The Power of Now by Eckert Toley, And it just
helps me to observe what my mind is doing, observe
what the feelings that I'm having in my heart or
in my chest, and by observing them, they often quiet.
(39:23):
And I realized, you know what I'm very fortunate to
be where I am. Let me enjoy and celebrate where
I am and reaching this point in my life. I
just turned fifty, and I'm so happy with all the
connections surrounding me. I've realized I wouldn't go back and
change anything. For a long time I thought, Oh, I
wish I could go back and change this and change
that and change this. I wouldn't change anything because how
(39:46):
else would I arrive here and be who I am today? Well?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Love that and gosh, super quick, what does living fall
out mean to you?
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Oh?
Speaker 15 (39:58):
I think living fallout means living right here, right now,
embracing what's around you.
Speaker 4 (40:03):
Don't look so much at the.
Speaker 15 (40:04):
Horizon, because like I said, it's always going to be moving.
To celebrate where you are and love life and love
the people around you and live in connection.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
That sounds like a man who got a four point.
Oh I'm telling you you are. You're very bright, You're
very smart. You are just so much what it means
to be positively gritty but also also live full out.
So thank you so much for sharing your story with
us today and giving us such great insights and for everybody,
(40:33):
just like Calvin, if you have a story we'd love
to hear from you. Make sure you reach out to
us at connect at livingfullout dot com because that's how
we inspire each other through opening up, pulling back the curtain,
and sharing our truth. And when we do that, I
think we find that we're more alike than we're different.
So we'll be right back after this break. Stay with us.
Speaker 9 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months,
they're combining vowels and consonants talk, By nine months, they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months
(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, man,
especially if there's no babbling at all. Little to no
babbling by twelve months or later is just one of
the possible signs of autism and children. Early screening and
intervention can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a
(41:49):
world of possibilities. Take the first step at Autism Speaks
dot org. A public service announcement brought to you by
Autism Speaks and the Aduncil.
Speaker 21 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 6 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 21 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin, UVB rays burn, and both
cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't count if you
use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day.
Speaker 15 (42:33):
Wrong.
Speaker 21 (42:34):
Eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope, anytime you're outside,
UB rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information.
(42:57):
A message from the US Food and Drug Admans.
Speaker 8 (43:01):
Right now, our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 18 (43:06):
I gotta tell you, I was nervous to talk to
someone so different than me.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
Me too, but I'm glad you are.
Speaker 8 (43:12):
Love has no labels, and one small step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 22 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 16 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash one Small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation of your own.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
I know one thing.
Speaker 15 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 8 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation. At Love has
No Labels dot com slash one Small Step. A message
from story Core Love has No Labels and the ad Council.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 15 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
I'm planning that tree. You Remember.
Speaker 22 (44:10):
No matter how large or small your digging project may be,
no matter how urban or rural, you must always call
eight one one before any digging project. Eight one to
one is our national one call number, alerting your local
utility companies to come out and mark any lines they
have near your dig site. You must call eight one
(44:32):
to one at least two to three business days before
any digging project so you can avoid hitting our essential
buried utilities. This includes natural gas and petroleum pipelines, electra
communication cables, and water and sewer lines. So before you
do this or this, make sure you do this. For
(44:54):
digging projects big or small, make the call to eight
one to one brought to you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to being positively gritty, don't shy away
from it. Get excited. I want you to smile through
those tears. Truly, if you feel sweat coming down your cheek,
that's a good thing because what you are working for
has meaning. You want to know that everything, every energy,
every vibration is getting you right to where you're meant
(45:24):
to be. And when you hit that point, you'll still
be smiling because you're living full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfoullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
It has been so great being with you today. I'm
the see silariing this the Living full Out show, and
surely I love the idea. A'm positively gritty, and I
almost feel like that is something I do on the
daily for sure. As many of you know, I have
what's called retinitis pigmentosa, which has caused me to go
legally blind. Now it's interesting because I super wish I
(46:19):
could still drive. I wish I could just jump in
the car and go wherever I want. But if I
did that, I want to have my beautiful fur baby
guide dog, Frost, who is such a love of my life.
And at the same time, I also have seen a
side of people. I don't know that I would see
it the same way if I had perfect twenty twenty vision.
(46:40):
There's just this kindness that I've seen over time, where
people have offered their arm or they've gently explained things,
and it's just so helpful. And I can feel that
as much as it's I'm grateful for it, I can
tell that it's ability for them to serve their moment
to give, and so we both win in that moment.
(47:03):
And in fact, as somebody who is legally blind, you know,
picking up a piece of paper and reading it can't
happen or looking at my computer and just reading it
never going to happen. And so I use a lot
of low vision talking devices, you name it. And why
sometimes I say I have to be positively gritty is
(47:25):
for as much as I'm pretty savvy, my brain like
things do click. I get the overarching idea of things.
You know, tech is still tech, right, it can be tricky.
And I literally the other day, once a year, I
have like accessibility Bonanza day, and I really upgrade everything
and I learned new devices, and the other day, well
(47:46):
there was not enough mocktails for the end of that day.
It was so exhausting for my brain. But yet as
much as it was gritty and exhausting, it was positive
because I know the more of those tools I have
and accessibility mobility ways I can achieve, it allows Nancy
(48:08):
to be independent and thriving, not just as a person
but also in leading my company. And so I just
want you to literally picture me, right, I can't even
see my own face, but yet I'm holding these devices.
Like one device is a GPS. It allows me to
clock in what are called landmarks, so as I'm walking
(48:29):
around town, if there's a place that I might trip
or fall or if there's a restaurant that I want
to go to all the time, I can make a
landmark and when I go by there, it'll tell me
I'm there instantly. Pretty cool, huh. I also have this
other device that it's actually a software on my computer.
It's a device as well, and it allows me to
(48:49):
put on a headset. I look a little bit like
Britney Spears, but I put on thist headset and I
can talk out everything into the headset and it allows
it to put everything on a word doc. It can
allow me to voice emails and text messages. And I'm
zooming along in my day hands free, doing even more
(49:09):
things than I could do. Probably if I saw and
I'm just talking through this microphone this headset, and everything
is getting documented to who it needs to go to
in a timely manner, then oh my gosh, this is
the coolest thing in the world. I even have on
my phone because I have an iPhone and on any smartphone,
(49:30):
there are different apps that you can get. One is
called be my Eyes, another one called Iira the two
that I use, and you can actually get someone twenty
four to seven, a live person through the camera of
your phone to be able to tell you what you
can't see. They can zoom in, they can take pictures.
It is awesome. And most recently, thank you Meta and
(49:53):
ray Ban because when I'm out and about with my
guide dog, you know, there might be times I want
to take a picture, take a video, as times I
might not be able to see something and they can
zoom in. I've got these Meta ray Band glasses where
I can do all of that. I can make calls
with these glasses. I can call Ira and be my eyes,
and those live folks through my phone can now see
(50:16):
through my glasses. I mean, hooray for technology, hooray for
all those people that got positively gritty saying, you know what,
I want to solve a problem. I want visually impaired
blind people, people who are missing limbs, people who maybe
are limited in their ability to do any mobility or
(50:38):
have any condition where it prevents them from being able
to see or hear. We want them to thrive. So
in honor of this show, I want to thank those
who really have taken time and effort that grit to
look to develop the softwares and the devices that allow
people like me to just go out there and do
(51:00):
beach runs even though I can't see, and you know,
walk around town and navigate airports, and again, like I said,
run my global media business. Everything I do is thanks
to the accessibility that others positively, grittily created. So thank you.
I tip my hat to you and cheering you on
(51:21):
to do more, more good actions. But just like those
creators of those accessibilities, I believe we all have that
ability to serve. We all have that ability to step
in there and make a difference. I do that through
the power of broadcasting and writing in different ways that
I serve my clients. But I want you to plug
into a friend, a family member, a neighbor. Consider looking
(51:45):
at your role, at your career, at your office. You know,
how can you take things up a notch? How can
you say today is the day I am gonna get
positively gritty. It may hurt, I'm I cry, and may
you know, get a little frustrated, but I know that
if I dig in, I can make action happen. I
can make a difference and make somebody else's life better. That,
(52:06):
my friends, is what living full out is all about.
So I want to thank everybody for listening today Again,
go to the living full Out Show app download it,
listen to us on the go.
Speaker 8 (52:17):
We believe in you.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
Here's to you, Living full Out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to the Living full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfullout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.