December 6, 2025 • 52 mins
Episode: 2025.11.30
The Living Full Out Show with Nancy Solari encourages you to recognize that life is truly what you make of it. Maybe you have struggled to look on the bright side of things. You may be trying to set goals for yourself that seem impossible. You can improve your life in many ways. Join Nancy as she discusses how life is what you make of it.
Our first caller Anthony is trying to find his purpose in life. He is struggling to find his true calling. Nancy advises him to think of what he really enjoys doing. She says to put together a business or a life plan. Tune in to discover how you can visualize what you want to do and find your true calling.
Our inspirational guest Mike Panus had always dreamed of being in the military just like his dad. He would try to become a marine but was unable to fulfill his dream because of an injury. Mike searched for his calling for a while. One day he would make the decision to drink and drive. His choice resulted in the tragic passing of his dear friend Rich, and Mike would end up going to prison for almost 4 and a half years. After getting out Mike discovered that he had a true talent for motivational speaking, and he made it his mission to prevent others from making the same mistakes he did. Tune in to learn how Mike’s determination to live with honor for his friend Rich would lead him to discovering his calling in life.
Perhaps you struggle to see the good that you have to offer. Maybe you feel stuck in your job or your everyday routine. Sometimes we can really begin to tune into and focus on only negative energy around us. Switching things up and starting a new habit to get out of your rut or focusing on positive experiences exemplifies what it means to live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
The Living Full Out Show with Nancy Solari encourages you to recognize that life is truly what you make of it. Maybe you have struggled to look on the bright side of things. You may be trying to set goals for yourself that seem impossible. You can improve your life in many ways. Join Nancy as she discusses how life is what you make of it.
Our first caller Anthony is trying to find his purpose in life. He is struggling to find his true calling. Nancy advises him to think of what he really enjoys doing. She says to put together a business or a life plan. Tune in to discover how you can visualize what you want to do and find your true calling.
Our inspirational guest Mike Panus had always dreamed of being in the military just like his dad. He would try to become a marine but was unable to fulfill his dream because of an injury. Mike searched for his calling for a while. One day he would make the decision to drink and drive. His choice resulted in the tragic passing of his dear friend Rich, and Mike would end up going to prison for almost 4 and a half years. After getting out Mike discovered that he had a true talent for motivational speaking, and he made it his mission to prevent others from making the same mistakes he did. Tune in to learn how Mike’s determination to live with honor for his friend Rich would lead him to discovering his calling in life.
Perhaps you struggle to see the good that you have to offer. Maybe you feel stuck in your job or your everyday routine. Sometimes we can really begin to tune into and focus on only negative energy around us. Switching things up and starting a new habit to get out of your rut or focusing on positive experiences exemplifies what it means to live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Celari, and today we're going to be
talking about how life is.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
What you make of it.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
We're not always going to get a scoop of yummy, yummy,
yummy ice cream.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Right.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Sometimes we're going to get the other the other scoop
that we don't want. And the thing is, it is
what you make of it. The way that you can manage, handle,
navigate different obstacles in your life really is up to
you and how vulnerable, how much you're willing to surrender,
how much grit, how much resourcefulness you have inside you,
(00:58):
And truthfully, that kind of is the game of life
to crack that code. But we're talking a lot about that,
and in fact, our inspirational guests, Mike Pannis is going
to share with us how he had to go through that,
he had to have that spirit that vigor because he
was in an accident and unfortunately killed a friend of
his and he was the driver, and he'll be sharing
(01:20):
with us that story. And most of all, we want
to make sure that beyond today's show, that if you
want to share this with a friend someone going through
perhaps just a bump in the road, hard time, maybe
they've lost their compass in life, you know, feel free
to share this show with them. Maybe it's just one
thing that I say, our guest says that allows them
(01:41):
to see their circumstances differently. And you can check us
out by going to the app store. Just look for
the Living Full Out Show app.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
It's free.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
And also if you Alexa, go and look for the
Living Full Out Show there as well. And I'm getting
word from our producer. Let's see right now that says
that we do have a collar on line. Let's go
check in with them. Hello and welcome to the Living.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Full Out Show.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Hi, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Yes, how can I help you?
Speaker 5 (02:08):
So? One of the questions that I have for you
is how do you find your calling in life and
what's the best way to pursue it.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Mmmm, that is a good question.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Let me know when you find the answer, No, I'm kidding.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I'm kidding. So let me ask you a question.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
What if you could get paid to do something that
you just love doing, what would it be?
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Honestly, I really love teaching and that's always it's always
been inspirational for me to like just be able to
help help someone and just see them understand things.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
M hm.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
That would be I guess my most ideal job.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Your ideal scenario.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
And if you could teach any topic, what would that be?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
I would be like stem but like, I'm honestly open
to teaching like anything. I really enjoy just seeing people
be able to understand things.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, but if you had like a like a group,
a demographic, you know, something that you know, if you
could spare this group and help them, what group would
that be?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
I guess just anyone who needs it or just someone
who's like motivated to learn.
Speaker 7 (03:24):
Mm hm.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
So why where am I going with this?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
So to know you're calling if you know, there's the
old saying, right, you can't help everybody, right, And you
can definitely go out there wanting to be the answer,
you know, wanting to motivate everybody, But it does help
to have a certain visualized person in mind. So like
(03:48):
for me, you know, when I was first starting my
coaching practice a little bit like teaching. When I started,
I worked specifically with the visually impaired community because I
myself legally blind, and back then I was visually impaired,
I wasn't quite fully legally blind. And my other group
was women entrepreneurs, completely different groups, but those are two
(04:12):
groups that I knew passionately that I could serve and
as living full out ink the company grew and we
eventually created the show and all that. You know, the
groups expanded, but those were my two signature groups just
because I had kind of weathered that storm myself. But
(04:35):
also it was a group that I knew that I
had resources that they may not know, and so it
was my way of paying it forward what I had learned,
the codes that I had cracked. I wanted to give
it to them. And so sometimes it's hard to have
all the answers to every group, every problem. So I
think the spirit of teaching is great, and I give
(04:57):
a lot of credit to teachers because you all work
really long hours, very patient. Usually the ratio of teacher
to student is off the charts, right, It's a lot
of students. And so I guess I'm kind of going
back to my original question when you kind of picture
maybe the student that you've helped the most, like the
(05:19):
person that you're the most.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Proud of, what was it about?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
What did you teach them as a teacher, what did
you how did you impact them?
Speaker 5 (05:30):
I think for me, one of those moments was just spending,
Like one of those students would be like when I
have spent like an extremely long time and they finally
got it, whether it be something simple or something hard,
That's what makes me really happy at the end, is
that as long as they got got to the end
(05:51):
of their journey, that's what makes me really happy for them.
And then to see them like do well in school
eventually succeed on their own, that's what I hope to
see in all of my students.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
So, but see, so that took It seems like that
student didn't get it right away maybe first time, second time,
third time.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
That experience took your ability to be patient right, yes,
And it took your ability to be a good listener.
And I imagine you might even have had to get
pretty resourceful for that student because not every option was
the best option. To help yep, and that is a gift.
(06:37):
The fact that you can do that, Now, that takes time.
Can you do that for a hundred people at one time?
Speaker 5 (06:47):
I believe so? Yes?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Okay, So if you think you can do that for
a hundred people at one time, then when you think
about your calling, I would put together like a business
plan for yourself or a life plan, and would I
would consider the fact of pick a number and let's
say it's one hundred people and you're going to teach them,
(07:09):
and you're going to do this, whether it's a student
in class or through volunteer efforts, whatever that looks like.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
But you're still going to have to.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Figure out the budgeting of time because just like that
one student who needed a lot of your time, who
needed you to dig in and see things or find
answers that they couldn't find for themselves, times one hundred people,
that's a lot of time. So sometimes figuring out how
to best maximize your calling, because it is a gift,
(07:37):
how can you do that? So that might be one
on one that might be finding ways to help out
initially to more people at one time. Maybe that's looking
into doing a webinar where for these students, they can
plug in. It could be zoom, it could be another platform,
(07:58):
and you're there almost like office hours, and not everybody's
going to feel comfortable talking publicly, but or maybe you
on these webinars or zooms, you give your motivational take
on situations that you know people are going through, not
specifically calling it out, but something very general. So you
just want to find a way to serve those one
(08:21):
hundred people because there's only one you, and even outside
of a calling. See you can have a calling, but
if you have to think of yourself like the bank
of you, and you have to make sure that you're
depositing into your bank time for you to sleep, find
for you to do your own personal things, time for
(08:42):
you to do your own reading and working out, and
the spiritual side that those are deposits. The withdrawals which
you're happy to give away, is the withdrawal of your
energy mentally physically to give to those people, because you
have to make sure that you have a good balance
so you don't burn out, because those hundred people are
(09:04):
going to start to depend on you and they're going
to look at you as one of the legs of
their table. So one leg of a table might be
the shelter where they live. One leg of the table
might mean that they got food to eat. But another
leg of that table is the wind beneath their wings,
their support system, and that's you. So if you take
(09:26):
on a hundred people, you just got to find that
balance so you can give the best of you but
yet not deplete you.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 5 (09:36):
Yes, I really think you gave really good advice in
terms of how I can pursue my career without kind
of depleting myself or just kind of having that work
life balance.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
I think that all that.
Speaker 5 (09:47):
Is extremely useful. So thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Well, yeah, you're very welcome. I mean, I love it.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I wish I had known you when I was oh,
I don't know ten, going through my parents' divorce, or
sick when I got diagnosed, or you know, different times
in my life. You are in the right lane and
you're going to do great things. But because there's just
one you, you got to find a way to find
that balance of work and play and you know again meditation.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
And all that.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Thank you so much for the reassurance.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You're welcome, and for everybody listening today, you know it
is making the most of our time, of our life,
of our experiences. And I love that he asked that
question because sometimes what we go through can be our calling,
sometimes being that safe harbor, being that sounding board for
(10:41):
another person. If that's a gift that you can give
away and that is your calling, I say go for it.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
So we're going to be coming right back.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
With make Painness and again, such an inspiring story, you
don't want to miss it.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
We'll be back.
Speaker 7 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy, so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu.
Especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org Brought to
you by the AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 8 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 9 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 9 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 10 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 8 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 9 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.
Speaker 11 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 8 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 11 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
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Speaker 9 (12:43):
Warning? The cap is loose on that cat young.
Speaker 8 (12:47):
Oh don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Today?
Speaker 8 (12:53):
That's do I have Prediabetes dot Org?
Speaker 11 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes Awareness partners.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Hehu oh brah, that's buzzed.
Speaker 12 (13:01):
Oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
He's starting with the woots.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 13 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 10 (13:12):
Who's with me.
Speaker 11 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying, when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride. Love that guy, me too, know
your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when it's
time to go home.
Speaker 8 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True, You're out.
Speaker 14 (13:34):
You got me Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 15 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
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That's nfamilyfire dot Org, brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council.
Speaker 16 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents What to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the lingo.
Speaker 13 (14:06):
Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 16 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
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and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Silary As
a life coach. Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You can ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Thank you, so much for joining us today.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
I'm Nancy Silari, and today we're talking about how life
is what you make of it, and truly it's taking
the hard times and finding that silver lining. And I
know sometimes you might be saying, Nancy, there is no
silver lining in my situation.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I promise you there is.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
In fact, we have brought you today an inspirational guest today,
Mike Painis, who what about every reason in the world
to wave the white flag and set you know, put
his hands up in the sky and be like, I
give up.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
But he didn't.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
He stretched for that silver lining and he found it.
So I'd like to welcome Mike to the show.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Hey, good afternoon, Nanty, how y'all doing.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
He's so nice to have you, Mike.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And I know in your early years, I mean early, early, early,
you were born prematurely, and even at that, you lost
your mom thirty days after you were born, and that
tragedy kind of made everything a little bit uncertain. In
your early years, your dad remarried, you had a good
(16:39):
step mom. You know, you'd your sister, but you know
still you you you strived, you looked for you know,
you know what made you happy.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
And as a little boy playing with g I.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Joe's what made you happy was being a marine because
you did your your family had been all been in
the military. What was it specifically that you want.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
To make that career choice so early?
Speaker 4 (17:03):
To be honest with you, I just really wasn't that
motivated and disciplined in high school to like, you know,
study and look forward forward to that path. I just
always wanted to serve my country. So I just early on,
even as a kid, like you mentioned, you know, always
outside playing you know G I Joe's like fake war,
(17:23):
and you know, my dad was a marine and he
never really pushed pushed the military on me, but it
was just something that it's almost instilled. It was instilled
in me, you know, growing up, just to serve this
country and do my part to keep keep it as
great as it is well.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
And I personally am so grateful for your family and
the passion that you had to to want to, you know,
protect us, all right. I think that's very that's very honorable.
And you know, circumstances had it be that you did
get an injury and you know, just different things happened
and you ended up leaving the military at twenty three.
(18:04):
But what is that like when that was your main focus?
Like that was it for you? And then all of
a sudden you find yourself in school, like what do
you get a degree in?
Speaker 3 (18:16):
I mean, what was your focus?
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Yeah, no, that's a great question. You know, everyone, since
I was, you know, very young, I was always outgoing, sociable,
some would say talkative in school if you spoke to
some of my past teachers, you know, I always was
like cracking jokes, lightening up the class. And you know,
people always like, oh, you'd be great at sales, you know,
(18:39):
because I like established relationships with people and just genuine
and passionate and always find the goodness in people. So
always people would say, you know, well, I'd be great
at sales and great at sales. So that's kind of
the pursuit the path that I chose to study business
and pursue a sales career.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Well, and you are very talkative obviously here we are today,
and very honest, and I appreciate that too, And that's
not a quality that a lot of salespeople have, right,
But that's who you were and and that man of integrity.
So I think I wish we could duplicate you in
the sales world, and you had friends and you were
you were, you know, doing what every twenty early twenty
(19:23):
something does. But there was the night that you were
in an accident and you were the driver and you'd
been drinking.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
What happened, Yeah, just the mentality that I had, you know,
like much earlier before Uber and before left. It's believing me.
It's no excuse at all. But there were living in
this part of Connecticut. It's very rural, and and my
(19:54):
friends and I grown up, you know, in high school,
would just always like to go out and have fun.
And I was introduced to alcohol early out of my life,
and you know, just like to go out and have
a few drinks and hang out with my friends and
let loose, even in high school and the military too.
You know, I was stationed in New Orleans, Louisiana, and
partying it was a big part of the culture down there.
(20:14):
And you know, I did great in the Marine Corps,
but I always found time to have fun and party
and transferred that onto my you know later years into college.
You know, being a college kid going out and drinking,
and I would make the poor choice and selfish decision
to get behind the wheel of the car after having
a few drinks out at the bar, and my friends
(20:35):
and I all took turns driving, and unfortunately it was
like the way everything happened, with the you know, road
conditions and the poor judgment that I made drinking and driving,
you know, resulted in a horrific, tragic evening on February fifth,
two thousand and five, where my car hit a patch
of black ice and I was ejected from the vehicle.
(20:58):
And I found out later on that my good friend
Rich Bronson had passed away in the accident.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Well, and we think of Rich today because really, Mike,
that could be any of us. I mean, I'm not
going to sit here and say I've never had a
drink and drove either, you know.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
And and you.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Had done a switch roo with your shirt so where
you would normally wear your seatbelt that.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Night, you weren't.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I mean, you got ejected, but you lived. Yeah, And
how who told you about Rich is passing?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Who actually told you that?
Speaker 4 (21:33):
My family? When I was in the hospital, I woke
up from a coma, you know, had a traumatic brain injury.
I was suffering pretty serious injuries myself, you know, punctured lung,
broken ribs, broken in, broken shoulder, you know, broken verberies
in my back. And you know, initially when I was
in coma, you know, my parents showed up to the hospital,
and they didn't know if I was going to wake up,
if I was even going to be you know, able
(21:54):
to you know, be brain dead. They didn't really know
what was happening. But like a few days later, about
four days later, I woke up and it's crazy, like
they told me. I asked who won the Super Bowl
that year? It was the Patriots and Eagles, and they
like they all started crying. And you know, I'm not
sure what day it was after I woke up from acoma,
(22:15):
but you know, like I think I asked how Rich
was doing, you know, like shortly after I woke up,
And they didn't tell me immediately because of like my
brain injury and stuff. But I think a day or
two after they had said Rich didn't survive, and I
was just like, I don't even know what to say.
I was just lost for words for what I caused
(22:36):
that night.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yeah, and you know it's been years now, but I
know telling the story doesn't get easier.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
And again, I give you.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
A lot of credit because you know it would be
I don't know if it'd be easy or hard to
just package this away and go into denial mode as
if it never happened. But you know, from that tragedy,
from that night, you made it your mission to make
sure that other people don't drink and drive and make
(23:05):
that same decision again, a decision that any of us
could have made. And so I appreciate you very much
coming on and sharing your story because we hope that
someone hears this interview and today makes a different decision.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Today can call that uber and lyft.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Okay, So just know that I really value you telling
the story for everybody listening. Though, as we journey through
this interview today, I just really want to make sure
that you know, share this interview with someone that you
think drinks and drives maybe too often makes the wrong choices.
Maybe they will do it differently as well. So we'll
be coming right back more with my painis.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
We'll be back today.
Speaker 17 (24:04):
In school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I learned
that no one likes me. In English, I learned that
I'm disgusting, and in physics I learned that I'm a loser.
Speaker 14 (24:16):
Today in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying today. In school,
I learned that I have no friends. In English, I
learned that I make people sick. And at lunch, I
learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
(24:37):
In Chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 17 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
And in math, I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 17 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 8 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of Purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward slash boot camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 18 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, That's who.
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov slash Kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 19 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at Pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 13 (27:04):
It's slipping, coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 18 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 10 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I get it.
Speaker 10 (27:16):
Flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
with a monitor.
Speaker 14 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
Yeah, it's slipping, coffit check, cop to doctor, KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 10 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power. Learn more at Manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfollout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I am
Nancy Silary in this the Living Full Out Show, and
today we're talking about that life.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Truly is what you make of it.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
It's just sometimes we have to put the puzzle pieces
back together when they're so out of sorts. And our
inspirational guest today, Mike Painis, is a perfect example of
how he put that puzzle back together for himself. So
I'd like to welcome Mike back to the show.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
Hey, good afternoon, Nancy. Thank you so much for having me.
I can't thank you enough.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Oh, I'm happy to have you here. And again I
give you a lot of credit for being courageous and
telling the story over and over and over, and all
the speeches you do and all the events you do
it at and your book and all that.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Mike, I just want to.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Go back to you know, after this accident. After you
found out that Richard passed. You know, there's that moment
right where your dad calls you up and he says,
there's a warrant for your arrests And I can only imagine,
I mean, how terrifying that must have been. I mean,
(29:29):
the whole process of being arrested, to getting a sentence,
to you know, going to prison. I mean, I don't
even know. That must have felt like an out of
body experience.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Yeah, I just you know, I knew that I had
made a terrible decision and a selfish decision and resulted
in a horrific, tragic accident when my friend had passed away.
But there are consequences to every decision, whether it's good
and bad, and I just accepted whatever it was that
was in front of and I knew by living my
(30:01):
life in a positive way would be a way to
honor my friend rich And that's why I kind of
continued to go down that path and use the word
honor in the title of my book, because each and
every day I live with honor, and the definition of
honor that I care with me is living for something
greater than just Mike Panis, And I kind of that's
(30:22):
what I do with every day and every decision to
you know, make people's lives better and help them make
better decisions than I did.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
And how long were you in prison for?
Speaker 4 (30:35):
I was in prison for almost four years. Yeah, it's
like I still think back and it just kind of
mind boggling. How I you know, like, you know, serve
my punishment overcame everything and granted a complete pardon, and
here I am a state employee and you know, turned
it all around and going out and sharing my story.
Speaker 5 (30:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I mean it's really, like I said, an inspiring testimony.
I know that when you got out of prison, though,
you did fall into so many different random jobs, as
many do if you have a felony, you know, you
just take those sales skills and do the best.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
You can with them.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
You ended up along the way having a relationship and
having a little bit a little girl, your daughter.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
But what I what I also think.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Though, is fascinating along those those moments of Okay, I'm
going to get my life back, I'm getting back on track,
I'm making money again, I've got a relationship, I've got
my daughter. But you really really wanted to get pardoned
that was a big deal for you, and to couple
that big deal was richest family's involvement in making that happen.
(31:44):
How did they help you in that pardon?
Speaker 4 (31:47):
Yeah, ever since early on, you know, ever since you know,
the accident, them grieving and healing, and you know, from
his dad coming to visit me in prison and me,
you know, being this sincere and sorry as possible and
wanted to just tell him that I wanted to live
my life the best way possible and honor their son.
(32:07):
So he told me from that first meeting in prison,
when he came and saw me as like how I
was gonna live my life was gonna result in the
relationship that we had with me and his family. And
I continued to like, even while I was in prison,
I would go out and speak to local high schools
around prime time and graduation. Him and I together went
and spoke at the Grotten sub base in front of
(32:28):
almost four thousand Navy cadets, and he just saw my genuine,
you know effort to you know, make up from what
I caused the loss of their son and continue to
get back and honor their son. So it just kind
of like started a relationship and I wanted to pursue
a pardon because it was kind of holding me back
(32:49):
and in like my life and provide him for my family.
So yeah, I did the application. It was a long, long,
lengthy process, and I'm forever grateful and I don't think
words could ever put into, you know, perspective of how
much it means to have the support of Rich's family.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Well, and there's a certain freedom now that you can
put some closure to, you know, not the passing of Rich,
but the closure to the prison and felony and all that.
And I'm just curious, what is your relationship with alcohol today?
I mean, I don't think you're out there drinking and
driving anymore, But do you do you look at alcohol
(33:27):
and you're like, I'll never touch it again, or do
you not blame alcohol or what is your relationship?
Speaker 4 (33:33):
Yeah, I just choose not to drink alcohol, not having
in my life. I just it is caused so much
pain in my life and I don't need it in
order to like like like have a good time or
get through life. I don't need to self medicate in
any way. I just stay positive and I like to
be healthy. So I just do not drink at all,
(33:54):
and I don't mind if other people do, but I
always just stress to make sure they before they drink
and make good decisions.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
You know, you've done a really good job I think
of doing right by Rich. You know, you're living for
both of you, really, and his life has purpose, yours
has purpose. And I think I could be wrong, but
it seems like you're just doing your best to kind
of heal that experience and make the best of it.
But early on I shared with our audience about you know,
(34:26):
your premature birth and losing your mom, And in hindsight,
you realize now that has affected a lot of your life,
that loss early on, maybe in relationships, but also just
in the loss of like Rich, and how is the
loss of your mom different.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
I think the loss of my mom has affected me
as feeling affirmation, you know, like the feeling wanted, like
because early on in my life, you know, the I
didn't have that no during relationship with my biological mother
and just kind of like yeah, like my family, my
dad did the best he could. And then when my
(35:08):
stepmom came in the picture a year and a half old,
you know, that was like a crucial time of me
developing and feeling nurtured and loved, and you know, it's
kind of transferred over to like my personal relationships with
women and needing that affirmation. And yeah, just it's it's
really hard to I'm really kind of doing some deep,
(35:30):
deep work. I'm you know, reading the book on trauma
right now and going to you know, therapy myself, just
trying to work on myself and uncover everything that lives
so I can just become better and more confident and stronger.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
And I know that you have your own personal relationship
spirituality wise, you know, with God and so forth. But
I imagine along the way here in your life many
times your spiritual side has been tested. But where are
you with that today?
Speaker 9 (36:01):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Are you someone who you know believes everything happens for
a reason. We've heard that statement. Some people love it,
some people hate it. Are you kind of in the
school of you know, why me?
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Why not me?
Speaker 5 (36:15):
Like?
Speaker 2 (36:15):
How do you square that circle? Because you know, when
you have had time in prison and time to really
sit with yourself, and that's precious time to think.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Yeah, I just think the biggest thing for me spiritually
is having an acceptance of whatever is put in front
of you and knowing that whatever it is that's put
in front of you is there for a reason, and
it's up to you to turn it into like a
positive and continue to push forward and the best way
that you know how to. And you know, like I
(36:50):
am spiritual and I believe I was here left for
a reason, not in an arrogant or conceited way at all.
I just have a gift and I'm able to relate
and engage with audiences and just like just I don't know,
it's just something that maybe it was just something that
was meant like happened, and here I am. I'm turning
(37:12):
it around and possibly you know, helping other people like one, two, five,
one hundred people moving forward as many times I speak
to help them become better and help them with any
tough situation that it is that they get themselves into.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
If I were you, I mean, goodness, you have done
a lot of work on yourself, like you said. But
if I were you, I imagine there's sometimes I see people
around at restaurants and bars and I'm like I would
want to like rustle them down and.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Like bubble wrap them.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
It must be hard sometimes to watch people make decisions
that you know could lead to bad things.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Yeah, I just try, Nancy that you The first you
know response that comes to me is like, you know,
I can't control every every situation. I can't control every person,
you know. I just do my part and I try
to just focus on the things that I have control over,
and most importantly it's about my decisions and my life.
And of course I want to go out and help everyone.
(38:09):
I wish I could like help the world one person
at a time, but I just try to put my
energy into the things that I have control over and
given you know, my daughter the best life possible and
having the best life for myself as well.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
And have you been able to forgive yourself?
Speaker 9 (38:28):
Have you?
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Where are you with that?
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Because I mean, and you've done a lot of work
by Rich, but you know, we can't go back in time.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
Yeah. Forgiveness is like a big part of, you know,
me moving forward with everything in my life. And I
think the biggest thing that happened in order for me
to like keep my head held up high and continue
to push forward and publish a book and go out
and speak and share my story was the forgiveness of
Rich's family, you know. And after I'd served my punishment,
(38:59):
you know, from the state of connect and then having
them you know, say, I want you to go on
with your life and have this you know, pardon you know,
completed and have it removed from my for my record,
I think that was like the last big thing in
order for me to like forgive myself and obviously never
forget and continue to make good decisions, but to forgive
(39:20):
myself because the people that are closest to rich were
able to you know, put all the hurt and pain
aside and and you know, help me, you know, in
my journey and move forward in my life.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Oh that really is a gift and really well said.
And what does living full out mean to you? Now
that you've got this freedom and now that you've got
this calling.
Speaker 4 (39:43):
Living full out? It just resonates with me because I
always use the term go big or go home, and
every single day that is how I kind of go
about my life. You know, you never know when not
to sound cliche, but you know, tomorrow's never promised and
without to you know, this is all we have. I
just give everything to everything that I have, Like all
(40:04):
the morning I was clear and leaves for my dad
for three hours before this and like I have to
get every leave off the ground and make it like
as beautiful as possible to help my dad out how
I go about every little situation in my life.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
You know, in the best day, I love it. I
love it well.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I'm telling you, Mike, you are really special and so
important that you're sharing your voice.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
So thank you so much for sharing.
Speaker 4 (40:31):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
We'll keep rich in our memory today for sure, and
thank you for sharing your story with us.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
And we wish you all the best.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
And for everybody else, you're welcome, and for everyone else
when we come back, it's going to be more of
just making the most out of this one life you have.
Speaker 20 (40:48):
Let's do it, Let's live full out. To some people,
the sound of a baby babbling doesn't mean much, but
(41:12):
that's not necessarily true. By six months, they're combining vowels
and consonants talk, By nine months they're trying out different
kinds of sounds, and by twelve months they're babbling. Is
beginning to take on some meaning, man, especially if there's
(41:35):
no babbling at all. Little to no babbling by twelve
months or later is just one of the possible signs
of autism and children. Early screening and intervention can make
a lifetime of difference and unlock a world of possibilities.
Take the first step at Autism Speaks dot org. A
(41:55):
public service announcement brought to you by Autism Speaks and
the Aduncil.
Speaker 21 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 8 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 21 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin. UVB rays burn and both
cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Count if you use it wrong.
Speaker 21 (42:31):
Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day wrong. Eighty percent
of UV rays still get through the haze. Only use
sunscreen at the beach, Nope, anytime you're outside UB rays
attack the skin, so you need protection and you have
to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF plus broad
spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun. Visit www
(42:53):
dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information. A
message from the US Food and Drug Admans.
Speaker 12 (43:01):
Right now our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 11 (43:06):
I gotta tell you, I was nervous to talk to
someone so different than me.
Speaker 9 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.
Speaker 12 (43:12):
Love has No Labels and One Small Step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 22 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 7 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 12 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash one small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation of your own.
Speaker 9 (43:42):
I know one thing.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 12 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation. At Love has
No Labels dot com slash one Small Step. A message
from story Core, Love has No Labels and the ad Council.
Speaker 8 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 9 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand, I'm planning
that tree.
Speaker 22 (44:09):
You remember, no matter how large or small your digging
project may be, no matter how urban or rural, you
must always call eight one one before any digging project.
Eight one to one is our national one call number,
alerting your local utility companies to come out and mark
any lines.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
They have near your dig site.
Speaker 22 (44:30):
You must call eight one to one at least two
to three business days before any digging project so you
can avoid hitting our essential buried utilities. This includes natural
gas and petroleum pipelines, electra communication cables, and water and
sewer lines. So before you do this or this, make
(44:52):
sure you do this. For digging projects big or small,
make the call to eight one to one. Brought to
you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When you think of your life and you're trying to
make the most of it, you want to think about
what are your skills, what are your talents? What are
you just so naturally good at that other people come
to you for.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
That's a calling.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
That is where you can quiet the noise of expectations,
all the demands of life because you know what you're
doing it. You're living your life with purpose, with tenacity,
and most of all, full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to living full out with Nancy Solary as
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
I'm Nancy.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
It' Hilarian. This is the Living full Out show. We've
been talking about how life.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Is what you make of it.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
And you know, I sit here here with you today
as someone who, if you were right in front of me,
could not see your face.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
I'm sure it's a beautiful face, but.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Being legally blind, that has gone away. Or I look
outside in the world and it's all just kind of
light and dark, and I'm so grateful that I can
see light and dark, don't get me wrong, but uh,
there really aren't the trees, and there really isn't the sunset,
and well can't really see those cars that are going
by me. I hear them, I might see a little
(46:36):
flashy light when they go by, but it's.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
All kind of grainy.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
And I only share that with you because when I
was sixteen, and that's when I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa,
it was really hard for our family because it wasn't
just me that was diagnosed.
Speaker 3 (46:56):
It was my two older sisters as well.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
That's right, We're kind of three blind mice of the family.
And at the time my mom my parents had divorced
and my mom was a single mom with three teenage daughters.
All being given the news a really gulp moment that
most likely we would all go blind by forty you know,
make the most of it now, ladies. And that's really
(47:19):
hard to wrap your head around, right, because at sixteen,
I just got my license. I was just the whole
world was ahead of me. But it was also a
weird It was like do I put my foot on
the gas?
Speaker 3 (47:30):
Do I take my foot off the pedal? Like what
do I do?
Speaker 2 (47:33):
And my mental sister and I we did decide, Okay,
well we don't know what this is all going to
look like. Let's go, let's go travel. And so we
went to twenty three countries in Europe in about just
less than three months. And you know, I'm so grateful
that I could see the Rome Colisseum, I could see
the Vatican, I could see you know, parts of Paris,
(47:56):
I could all these you know, really enchanting parts of
Europe that we might read in books or see in movies.
I was there, and it was it was just a time.
It was stamped and time stamped in my brain. So
later on now, when I can't see as much, I
did a couple of years back, go back to Paris
and wow, I got my nose literally right up to
(48:18):
the Eiffel Tower and it was really hard to see
that tower. So glad that I was able to see
all that earlier. But life is what you make of it, truly,
because I fill in a lot of things now. If
I were to be outside and on a balcony, and
I'll probably do that today. It's a beautiful day. If
(48:38):
I look at the sky, I can't really see it's blue,
but I can fill in in my mind, what a beautiful, sunny,
blue day. It's my mind I could fill in what
I want. And when I meet someone for the first time,
or if I haven't seen them in a long time,
it's the embrace of their hug, it's their handshake, it's
(48:59):
the warmth of you know, it kind of fills in
for me what I think they look like if I've
never met them before, or a lot of times when
I see people I haven't seen it in a while,
I might kind of in my mind go back and
fill in from the last time I saw them. Well,
and a lot of people really like that because there's
(49:20):
few gray hairs and wrinkles.
Speaker 3 (49:21):
For many people in my life, they're like great and
you know, so you know, when.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
I think about making the most of what I've been
dealt in life, it really is having that glass full mentality,
abundantly full. In fact, if it was a glass of
cabernet all the way to the tiptop, love my cabs.
But the thing is, truthfully, you have to have a
sense of humor about life. If you don't, it's just
(49:48):
dun dun, dun dune. Right, There's always going to be things.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
That go sideways.
Speaker 2 (49:53):
There's always going to be unexpected. There's always going to
be people with bad attitudes, which personally, I think those
who need to be loved on more.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
Right, something's making them cranky.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
It's not you, it's not me, you know, And there's
always going to be this diagnosis. Everyone gets it at
some point. I got mine at sixteen. Let's hope it's
my last. But everybody gets that unfortunate not the best
bedside manner from a doctor of you've now got this,
good luck to you, right, and there are some good
doctors out there, but anyone with a health condition will
(50:25):
tell you it. It's like Pandora's box. It's like what
do I do? How do I fix it? Is there
a cure? What's going to.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
Become of me?
Speaker 2 (50:33):
And the best advice I can really round out today's
show with is most of all, trust either your instincts,
trust yourself, your ability to make good decisions, lean on
your faith. I interview a lot of people here at
the Living Full Out show and in my conversations with
(50:55):
them again, whether it's they're trusting themselves or leaning on
their faith, that is it.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
That's the ticket. That is how you make the most.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Of life, because you already are mentally prepared that things
are going to happen. You might get a little bit
wounded here and there and a little bit you know, disappointed,
and you know life is not always a box of chocolates.
But at the same time, that trusting yourself, having that
faith just gives you that core, that that inner strength
(51:30):
that you can pull out on those hard days. So
I encourage you to let that part of you shine
or tap into that if you haven't already, and most
of all the entire Living Filat family, we want to
make sure that you stay supported beyond today's show, that
you go to the app store, download the Living app,
listen to us at the gym, stay motivated, hear other
(51:54):
people's stories who have gone through hard times but came
out the other side, because that is what kind of
bonds us all together. Right, We've all had not the
exact same experience, but you know what, we all have
the desire to do what that's right, Live full out
and you can too.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
Season.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to The Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfollout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Celari, and today we're going to be
talking about how life is.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
What you make of it.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
We're not always going to get a scoop of yummy, yummy,
yummy ice cream.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Right.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Sometimes we're going to get the other the other scoop
that we don't want. And the thing is, it is
what you make of it. The way that you can manage, handle,
navigate different obstacles in your life really is up to
you and how vulnerable, how much you're willing to surrender,
how much grit, how much resourcefulness you have inside you,
(00:58):
And truthfully, that kind of is the game of life
to crack that code. But we're talking a lot about that,
and in fact, our inspirational guests, Mike Pannis is going
to share with us how he had to go through that,
he had to have that spirit that vigor because he
was in an accident and unfortunately killed a friend of
his and he was the driver, and he'll be sharing
(01:20):
with us that story. And most of all, we want
to make sure that beyond today's show, that if you
want to share this with a friend someone going through
perhaps just a bump in the road, hard time, maybe
they've lost their compass in life, you know, feel free
to share this show with them. Maybe it's just one
thing that I say, our guest says that allows them
(01:41):
to see their circumstances differently. And you can check us
out by going to the app store. Just look for
the Living Full Out Show app.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
It's free.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
And also if you Alexa, go and look for the
Living Full Out Show there as well. And I'm getting
word from our producer. Let's see right now that says
that we do have a collar on line. Let's go
check in with them. Hello and welcome to the Living.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Full Out Show.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Hi, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Yes, how can I help you?
Speaker 5 (02:08):
So? One of the questions that I have for you
is how do you find your calling in life and
what's the best way to pursue it.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Mmmm, that is a good question.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Let me know when you find the answer, No, I'm kidding.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I'm kidding. So let me ask you a question.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
What if you could get paid to do something that
you just love doing, what would it be?
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Honestly, I really love teaching and that's always it's always
been inspirational for me to like just be able to
help help someone and just see them understand things.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
M hm.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
That would be I guess my most ideal job.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Your ideal scenario.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
And if you could teach any topic, what would that be?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
I would be like stem but like, I'm honestly open
to teaching like anything. I really enjoy just seeing people
be able to understand things.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, but if you had like a like a group,
a demographic, you know, something that you know, if you
could spare this group and help them, what group would
that be?
Speaker 5 (03:17):
I guess just anyone who needs it or just someone
who's like motivated to learn.
Speaker 7 (03:24):
Mm hm.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
So why where am I going with this?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
So to know you're calling if you know, there's the
old saying, right, you can't help everybody, right, And you
can definitely go out there wanting to be the answer,
you know, wanting to motivate everybody, But it does help
to have a certain visualized person in mind. So like
(03:48):
for me, you know, when I was first starting my
coaching practice a little bit like teaching. When I started,
I worked specifically with the visually impaired community because I
myself legally blind, and back then I was visually impaired,
I wasn't quite fully legally blind. And my other group
was women entrepreneurs, completely different groups, but those are two
(04:12):
groups that I knew passionately that I could serve and
as living full out ink the company grew and we
eventually created the show and all that. You know, the
groups expanded, but those were my two signature groups just
because I had kind of weathered that storm myself. But
(04:35):
also it was a group that I knew that I
had resources that they may not know, and so it
was my way of paying it forward what I had learned,
the codes that I had cracked. I wanted to give
it to them. And so sometimes it's hard to have
all the answers to every group, every problem. So I
think the spirit of teaching is great, and I give
(04:57):
a lot of credit to teachers because you all work
really long hours, very patient. Usually the ratio of teacher
to student is off the charts, right, It's a lot
of students. And so I guess I'm kind of going
back to my original question when you kind of picture
maybe the student that you've helped the most, like the
(05:19):
person that you're the most.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Proud of, what was it about?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
What did you teach them as a teacher, what did
you how did you impact them?
Speaker 5 (05:30):
I think for me, one of those moments was just spending,
Like one of those students would be like when I
have spent like an extremely long time and they finally
got it, whether it be something simple or something hard,
That's what makes me really happy at the end, is
that as long as they got got to the end
(05:51):
of their journey, that's what makes me really happy for them.
And then to see them like do well in school
eventually succeed on their own, that's what I hope to
see in all of my students.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
So, but see, so that took It seems like that
student didn't get it right away maybe first time, second time,
third time.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
That experience took your ability to be patient right, yes,
And it took your ability to be a good listener.
And I imagine you might even have had to get
pretty resourceful for that student because not every option was
the best option. To help yep, and that is a gift.
(06:37):
The fact that you can do that, Now, that takes time.
Can you do that for a hundred people at one time?
Speaker 5 (06:47):
I believe so? Yes?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Okay, So if you think you can do that for
a hundred people at one time, then when you think
about your calling, I would put together like a business
plan for yourself or a life plan, and would I
would consider the fact of pick a number and let's
say it's one hundred people and you're going to teach them,
(07:09):
and you're going to do this, whether it's a student
in class or through volunteer efforts, whatever that looks like.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
But you're still going to have to.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Figure out the budgeting of time because just like that
one student who needed a lot of your time, who
needed you to dig in and see things or find
answers that they couldn't find for themselves, times one hundred people,
that's a lot of time. So sometimes figuring out how
to best maximize your calling, because it is a gift,
(07:37):
how can you do that? So that might be one
on one that might be finding ways to help out
initially to more people at one time. Maybe that's looking
into doing a webinar where for these students, they can
plug in. It could be zoom, it could be another platform,
(07:58):
and you're there almost like office hours, and not everybody's
going to feel comfortable talking publicly, but or maybe you
on these webinars or zooms, you give your motivational take
on situations that you know people are going through, not
specifically calling it out, but something very general. So you
just want to find a way to serve those one
(08:21):
hundred people because there's only one you, and even outside
of a calling. See you can have a calling, but
if you have to think of yourself like the bank
of you, and you have to make sure that you're
depositing into your bank time for you to sleep, find
for you to do your own personal things, time for
(08:42):
you to do your own reading and working out, and
the spiritual side that those are deposits. The withdrawals which
you're happy to give away, is the withdrawal of your
energy mentally physically to give to those people, because you
have to make sure that you have a good balance
so you don't burn out, because those hundred people are
(09:04):
going to start to depend on you and they're going
to look at you as one of the legs of
their table. So one leg of a table might be
the shelter where they live. One leg of the table
might mean that they got food to eat. But another
leg of that table is the wind beneath their wings,
their support system, and that's you. So if you take
(09:26):
on a hundred people, you just got to find that
balance so you can give the best of you but
yet not deplete you.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 5 (09:36):
Yes, I really think you gave really good advice in
terms of how I can pursue my career without kind
of depleting myself or just kind of having that work
life balance.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
I think that all that.
Speaker 5 (09:47):
Is extremely useful. So thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Well, yeah, you're very welcome. I mean, I love it.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I wish I had known you when I was oh,
I don't know ten, going through my parents' divorce, or
sick when I got diagnosed, or you know, different times
in my life. You are in the right lane and
you're going to do great things. But because there's just
one you, you got to find a way to find
that balance of work and play and you know again meditation.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
And all that.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Thank you so much for the reassurance.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You're welcome, and for everybody listening today, you know it
is making the most of our time, of our life,
of our experiences. And I love that he asked that
question because sometimes what we go through can be our calling,
sometimes being that safe harbor, being that sounding board for
(10:41):
another person. If that's a gift that you can give
away and that is your calling, I say go for it.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
So we're going to be coming right back.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
With make Painness and again, such an inspiring story, you
don't want to miss it.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
We'll be back.
Speaker 7 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy, so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu.
Especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org Brought to
you by the AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 8 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 9 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 9 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 10 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 8 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 9 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.
Speaker 11 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 8 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 11 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
Prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 9 (12:43):
Warning? The cap is loose on that cat young.
Speaker 8 (12:47):
Oh don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Today?
Speaker 8 (12:53):
That's do I have Prediabetes dot Org?
Speaker 11 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes Awareness partners.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Hehu oh brah, that's buzzed.
Speaker 12 (13:01):
Oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
He's starting with the woots.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 13 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 10 (13:12):
Who's with me.
Speaker 11 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying, when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride. Love that guy, me too, know
your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when it's
time to go home.
Speaker 8 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True, You're out.
Speaker 14 (13:34):
You got me Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 15 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's nfamilyfire dot Org, brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council.
Speaker 16 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents What to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the lingo.
Speaker 13 (14:06):
Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 16 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Silary As
a life coach. Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You can ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Thank you, so much for joining us today.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
I'm Nancy Silari, and today we're talking about how life
is what you make of it, and truly it's taking
the hard times and finding that silver lining. And I
know sometimes you might be saying, Nancy, there is no
silver lining in my situation.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I promise you there is.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
In fact, we have brought you today an inspirational guest today,
Mike Painis, who what about every reason in the world
to wave the white flag and set you know, put
his hands up in the sky and be like, I
give up.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
But he didn't.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
He stretched for that silver lining and he found it.
So I'd like to welcome Mike to the show.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Hey, good afternoon, Nanty, how y'all doing.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
He's so nice to have you, Mike.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And I know in your early years, I mean early, early, early,
you were born prematurely, and even at that, you lost
your mom thirty days after you were born, and that
tragedy kind of made everything a little bit uncertain. In
your early years, your dad remarried, you had a good
(16:39):
step mom. You know, you'd your sister, but you know
still you you you strived, you looked for you know,
you know what made you happy.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
And as a little boy playing with g I.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Joe's what made you happy was being a marine because
you did your your family had been all been in
the military. What was it specifically that you want.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
To make that career choice so early?
Speaker 4 (17:03):
To be honest with you, I just really wasn't that
motivated and disciplined in high school to like, you know,
study and look forward forward to that path. I just
always wanted to serve my country. So I just early on,
even as a kid, like you mentioned, you know, always
outside playing you know G I Joe's like fake war,
(17:23):
and you know, my dad was a marine and he
never really pushed pushed the military on me, but it
was just something that it's almost instilled. It was instilled
in me, you know, growing up, just to serve this
country and do my part to keep keep it as
great as it is well.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
And I personally am so grateful for your family and
the passion that you had to to want to, you know,
protect us, all right. I think that's very that's very honorable.
And you know, circumstances had it be that you did
get an injury and you know, just different things happened
and you ended up leaving the military at twenty three.
(18:04):
But what is that like when that was your main focus?
Like that was it for you? And then all of
a sudden you find yourself in school, like what do
you get a degree in?
Speaker 3 (18:16):
I mean, what was your focus?
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Yeah, no, that's a great question. You know, everyone, since
I was, you know, very young, I was always outgoing, sociable,
some would say talkative in school if you spoke to
some of my past teachers, you know, I always was
like cracking jokes, lightening up the class. And you know,
people always like, oh, you'd be great at sales, you know,
(18:39):
because I like established relationships with people and just genuine
and passionate and always find the goodness in people. So
always people would say, you know, well, I'd be great
at sales and great at sales. So that's kind of
the pursuit the path that I chose to study business
and pursue a sales career.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Well, and you are very talkative obviously here we are today,
and very honest, and I appreciate that too, And that's
not a quality that a lot of salespeople have, right,
But that's who you were and and that man of integrity.
So I think I wish we could duplicate you in
the sales world, and you had friends and you were
you were, you know, doing what every twenty early twenty
(19:23):
something does. But there was the night that you were
in an accident and you were the driver and you'd
been drinking.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
What happened, Yeah, just the mentality that I had, you know,
like much earlier before Uber and before left. It's believing me.
It's no excuse at all. But there were living in
this part of Connecticut. It's very rural, and and my
(19:54):
friends and I grown up, you know, in high school,
would just always like to go out and have fun.
And I was introduced to alcohol early out of my life,
and you know, just like to go out and have
a few drinks and hang out with my friends and
let loose, even in high school and the military too.
You know, I was stationed in New Orleans, Louisiana, and
partying it was a big part of the culture down there.
(20:14):
And you know, I did great in the Marine Corps,
but I always found time to have fun and party
and transferred that onto my you know later years into college.
You know, being a college kid going out and drinking,
and I would make the poor choice and selfish decision
to get behind the wheel of the car after having
a few drinks out at the bar, and my friends
(20:35):
and I all took turns driving, and unfortunately it was
like the way everything happened, with the you know, road
conditions and the poor judgment that I made drinking and driving,
you know, resulted in a horrific, tragic evening on February fifth,
two thousand and five, where my car hit a patch
of black ice and I was ejected from the vehicle.
(20:58):
And I found out later on that my good friend
Rich Bronson had passed away in the accident.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Well, and we think of Rich today because really, Mike,
that could be any of us. I mean, I'm not
going to sit here and say I've never had a
drink and drove either, you know.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
And and you.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Had done a switch roo with your shirt so where
you would normally wear your seatbelt that.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Night, you weren't.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I mean, you got ejected, but you lived. Yeah, And
how who told you about Rich is passing?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Who actually told you that?
Speaker 4 (21:33):
My family? When I was in the hospital, I woke
up from a coma, you know, had a traumatic brain injury.
I was suffering pretty serious injuries myself, you know, punctured lung,
broken ribs, broken in, broken shoulder, you know, broken verberies
in my back. And you know, initially when I was
in coma, you know, my parents showed up to the hospital,
and they didn't know if I was going to wake up,
if I was even going to be you know, able
(21:54):
to you know, be brain dead. They didn't really know
what was happening. But like a few days later, about
four days later, I woke up and it's crazy, like
they told me. I asked who won the Super Bowl
that year? It was the Patriots and Eagles, and they
like they all started crying. And you know, I'm not
sure what day it was after I woke up from acoma,
(22:15):
but you know, like I think I asked how Rich
was doing, you know, like shortly after I woke up,
And they didn't tell me immediately because of like my
brain injury and stuff. But I think a day or
two after they had said Rich didn't survive, and I
was just like, I don't even know what to say.
I was just lost for words for what I caused
(22:36):
that night.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yeah, and you know it's been years now, but I
know telling the story doesn't get easier.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
And again, I give you.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
A lot of credit because you know it would be
I don't know if it'd be easy or hard to
just package this away and go into denial mode as
if it never happened. But you know, from that tragedy,
from that night, you made it your mission to make
sure that other people don't drink and drive and make
(23:05):
that same decision again, a decision that any of us
could have made. And so I appreciate you very much
coming on and sharing your story because we hope that
someone hears this interview and today makes a different decision.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Today can call that uber and lyft.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Okay, So just know that I really value you telling
the story for everybody listening. Though, as we journey through
this interview today, I just really want to make sure
that you know, share this interview with someone that you
think drinks and drives maybe too often makes the wrong choices.
Maybe they will do it differently as well. So we'll
be coming right back more with my painis.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
We'll be back today.
Speaker 17 (24:04):
In school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I learned
that no one likes me. In English, I learned that
I'm disgusting, and in physics I learned that I'm a loser.
Speaker 14 (24:16):
Today in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying today. In school,
I learned that I have no friends. In English, I
learned that I make people sick. And at lunch, I
learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
(24:37):
In Chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 17 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
And in math, I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 17 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 8 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of Purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward slash boot camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 18 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, That's who.
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov slash Kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 19 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at Pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 13 (27:04):
It's slipping, coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 18 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 10 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I get it.
Speaker 10 (27:16):
Flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
with a monitor.
Speaker 14 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
Yeah, it's slipping, coffit check, cop to doctor, KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 10 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power. Learn more at Manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfollout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I am
Nancy Silary in this the Living Full Out Show, and
today we're talking about that life.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Truly is what you make of it.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
It's just sometimes we have to put the puzzle pieces
back together when they're so out of sorts. And our
inspirational guest today, Mike Painis, is a perfect example of
how he put that puzzle back together for himself. So
I'd like to welcome Mike back to the show.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
Hey, good afternoon, Nancy. Thank you so much for having me.
I can't thank you enough.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Oh, I'm happy to have you here. And again I
give you a lot of credit for being courageous and
telling the story over and over and over, and all
the speeches you do and all the events you do
it at and your book and all that.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Mike, I just want to.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Go back to you know, after this accident. After you
found out that Richard passed. You know, there's that moment
right where your dad calls you up and he says,
there's a warrant for your arrests And I can only imagine,
I mean, how terrifying that must have been. I mean,
(29:29):
the whole process of being arrested, to getting a sentence,
to you know, going to prison. I mean, I don't
even know. That must have felt like an out of
body experience.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Yeah, I just you know, I knew that I had
made a terrible decision and a selfish decision and resulted
in a horrific, tragic accident when my friend had passed away.
But there are consequences to every decision, whether it's good
and bad, and I just accepted whatever it was that
was in front of and I knew by living my
(30:01):
life in a positive way would be a way to
honor my friend rich And that's why I kind of
continued to go down that path and use the word
honor in the title of my book, because each and
every day I live with honor, and the definition of
honor that I care with me is living for something
greater than just Mike Panis, And I kind of that's
(30:22):
what I do with every day and every decision to
you know, make people's lives better and help them make
better decisions than I did.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
And how long were you in prison for?
Speaker 4 (30:35):
I was in prison for almost four years. Yeah, it's
like I still think back and it just kind of
mind boggling. How I you know, like, you know, serve
my punishment overcame everything and granted a complete pardon, and
here I am a state employee and you know, turned
it all around and going out and sharing my story.
Speaker 5 (30:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I mean it's really, like I said, an inspiring testimony.
I know that when you got out of prison, though,
you did fall into so many different random jobs, as
many do if you have a felony, you know, you
just take those sales skills and do the best.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
You can with them.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
You ended up along the way having a relationship and
having a little bit a little girl, your daughter.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
But what I what I also think.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Though, is fascinating along those those moments of Okay, I'm
going to get my life back, I'm getting back on track,
I'm making money again, I've got a relationship, I've got
my daughter. But you really really wanted to get pardoned
that was a big deal for you, and to couple
that big deal was richest family's involvement in making that happen.
(31:44):
How did they help you in that pardon?
Speaker 4 (31:47):
Yeah, ever since early on, you know, ever since you know,
the accident, them grieving and healing, and you know, from
his dad coming to visit me in prison and me,
you know, being this sincere and sorry as possible and
wanted to just tell him that I wanted to live
my life the best way possible and honor their son.
(32:07):
So he told me from that first meeting in prison,
when he came and saw me as like how I
was gonna live my life was gonna result in the
relationship that we had with me and his family. And
I continued to like, even while I was in prison,
I would go out and speak to local high schools
around prime time and graduation. Him and I together went
and spoke at the Grotten sub base in front of
(32:28):
almost four thousand Navy cadets, and he just saw my genuine,
you know effort to you know, make up from what
I caused the loss of their son and continue to
get back and honor their son. So it just kind
of like started a relationship and I wanted to pursue
a pardon because it was kind of holding me back
(32:49):
and in like my life and provide him for my family.
So yeah, I did the application. It was a long, long,
lengthy process, and I'm forever grateful and I don't think
words could ever put into, you know, perspective of how
much it means to have the support of Rich's family.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Well, and there's a certain freedom now that you can
put some closure to, you know, not the passing of Rich,
but the closure to the prison and felony and all that.
And I'm just curious, what is your relationship with alcohol today?
I mean, I don't think you're out there drinking and
driving anymore, But do you do you look at alcohol
(33:27):
and you're like, I'll never touch it again, or do
you not blame alcohol or what is your relationship?
Speaker 4 (33:33):
Yeah, I just choose not to drink alcohol, not having
in my life. I just it is caused so much
pain in my life and I don't need it in
order to like like like have a good time or
get through life. I don't need to self medicate in
any way. I just stay positive and I like to
be healthy. So I just do not drink at all,
(33:54):
and I don't mind if other people do, but I
always just stress to make sure they before they drink
and make good decisions.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
You know, you've done a really good job I think
of doing right by Rich. You know, you're living for
both of you, really, and his life has purpose, yours
has purpose. And I think I could be wrong, but
it seems like you're just doing your best to kind
of heal that experience and make the best of it.
But early on I shared with our audience about you know,
(34:26):
your premature birth and losing your mom, And in hindsight,
you realize now that has affected a lot of your life,
that loss early on, maybe in relationships, but also just
in the loss of like Rich, and how is the
loss of your mom different.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
I think the loss of my mom has affected me
as feeling affirmation, you know, like the feeling wanted, like
because early on in my life, you know, the I
didn't have that no during relationship with my biological mother
and just kind of like yeah, like my family, my
dad did the best he could. And then when my
(35:08):
stepmom came in the picture a year and a half old,
you know, that was like a crucial time of me
developing and feeling nurtured and loved, and you know, it's
kind of transferred over to like my personal relationships with
women and needing that affirmation. And yeah, just it's it's
really hard to I'm really kind of doing some deep,
(35:30):
deep work. I'm you know, reading the book on trauma
right now and going to you know, therapy myself, just
trying to work on myself and uncover everything that lives
so I can just become better and more confident and stronger.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
And I know that you have your own personal relationship
spirituality wise, you know, with God and so forth. But
I imagine along the way here in your life many
times your spiritual side has been tested. But where are
you with that today?
Speaker 9 (36:01):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Are you someone who you know believes everything happens for
a reason. We've heard that statement. Some people love it,
some people hate it. Are you kind of in the
school of you know, why me?
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Why not me?
Speaker 5 (36:15):
Like?
Speaker 2 (36:15):
How do you square that circle? Because you know, when
you have had time in prison and time to really
sit with yourself, and that's precious time to think.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Yeah, I just think the biggest thing for me spiritually
is having an acceptance of whatever is put in front
of you and knowing that whatever it is that's put
in front of you is there for a reason, and
it's up to you to turn it into like a
positive and continue to push forward and the best way
that you know how to. And you know, like I
(36:50):
am spiritual and I believe I was here left for
a reason, not in an arrogant or conceited way at all.
I just have a gift and I'm able to relate
and engage with audiences and just like just I don't know,
it's just something that maybe it was just something that
was meant like happened, and here I am. I'm turning
(37:12):
it around and possibly you know, helping other people like one, two, five,
one hundred people moving forward as many times I speak
to help them become better and help them with any
tough situation that it is that they get themselves into.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
If I were you, I mean, goodness, you have done
a lot of work on yourself, like you said. But
if I were you, I imagine there's sometimes I see people
around at restaurants and bars and I'm like I would
want to like rustle them down and.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Like bubble wrap them.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
It must be hard sometimes to watch people make decisions
that you know could lead to bad things.
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Yeah, I just try, Nancy that you The first you
know response that comes to me is like, you know,
I can't control every every situation. I can't control every person,
you know. I just do my part and I try
to just focus on the things that I have control over,
and most importantly it's about my decisions and my life.
And of course I want to go out and help everyone.
(38:09):
I wish I could like help the world one person
at a time, but I just try to put my
energy into the things that I have control over and
given you know, my daughter the best life possible and
having the best life for myself as well.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
And have you been able to forgive yourself?
Speaker 9 (38:28):
Have you?
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Where are you with that?
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Because I mean, and you've done a lot of work
by Rich, but you know, we can't go back in time.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
Yeah. Forgiveness is like a big part of, you know,
me moving forward with everything in my life. And I
think the biggest thing that happened in order for me
to like keep my head held up high and continue
to push forward and publish a book and go out
and speak and share my story was the forgiveness of
Rich's family, you know. And after I'd served my punishment,
(38:59):
you know, from the state of connect and then having
them you know, say, I want you to go on
with your life and have this you know, pardon you know,
completed and have it removed from my for my record,
I think that was like the last big thing in
order for me to like forgive myself and obviously never
forget and continue to make good decisions, but to forgive
(39:20):
myself because the people that are closest to rich were
able to you know, put all the hurt and pain
aside and and you know, help me, you know, in
my journey and move forward in my life.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Oh that really is a gift and really well said.
And what does living full out mean to you? Now
that you've got this freedom and now that you've got
this calling.
Speaker 4 (39:43):
Living full out? It just resonates with me because I
always use the term go big or go home, and
every single day that is how I kind of go
about my life. You know, you never know when not
to sound cliche, but you know, tomorrow's never promised and
without to you know, this is all we have. I
just give everything to everything that I have, Like all
(40:04):
the morning I was clear and leaves for my dad
for three hours before this and like I have to
get every leave off the ground and make it like
as beautiful as possible to help my dad out how
I go about every little situation in my life.
Speaker 3 (40:18):
You know, in the best day, I love it. I
love it well.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
I'm telling you, Mike, you are really special and so
important that you're sharing your voice.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
So thank you so much for sharing.
Speaker 4 (40:31):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
We'll keep rich in our memory today for sure, and
thank you for sharing your story with us.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
And we wish you all the best.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
And for everybody else, you're welcome, and for everyone else
when we come back, it's going to be more of
just making the most out of this one life you have.
Speaker 20 (40:48):
Let's do it, Let's live full out. To some people,
the sound of a baby babbling doesn't mean much, but
(41:12):
that's not necessarily true. By six months, they're combining vowels
and consonants talk, By nine months they're trying out different
kinds of sounds, and by twelve months they're babbling. Is
beginning to take on some meaning, man, especially if there's
(41:35):
no babbling at all. Little to no babbling by twelve
months or later is just one of the possible signs
of autism and children. Early screening and intervention can make
a lifetime of difference and unlock a world of possibilities.
Take the first step at Autism Speaks dot org. A
(41:55):
public service announcement brought to you by Autism Speaks and
the Aduncil.
Speaker 21 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 8 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 21 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin. UVB rays burn and both
cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Count if you use it wrong.
Speaker 21 (42:31):
Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day wrong. Eighty percent
of UV rays still get through the haze. Only use
sunscreen at the beach, Nope, anytime you're outside UB rays
attack the skin, so you need protection and you have
to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF plus broad
spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun. Visit www
(42:53):
dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information. A
message from the US Food and Drug Admans.
Speaker 12 (43:01):
Right now our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 11 (43:06):
I gotta tell you, I was nervous to talk to
someone so different than me.
Speaker 9 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.
Speaker 12 (43:12):
Love has No Labels and One Small Step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 22 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 7 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 12 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash one small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation of your own.
Speaker 9 (43:42):
I know one thing.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 12 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation. At Love has
No Labels dot com slash one Small Step. A message
from story Core, Love has No Labels and the ad Council.
Speaker 8 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 9 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand, I'm planning
that tree.
Speaker 22 (44:09):
You remember, no matter how large or small your digging
project may be, no matter how urban or rural, you
must always call eight one one before any digging project.
Eight one to one is our national one call number,
alerting your local utility companies to come out and mark
any lines.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
They have near your dig site.
Speaker 22 (44:30):
You must call eight one to one at least two
to three business days before any digging project so you
can avoid hitting our essential buried utilities. This includes natural
gas and petroleum pipelines, electra communication cables, and water and
sewer lines. So before you do this or this, make
(44:52):
sure you do this. For digging projects big or small,
make the call to eight one to one. Brought to
you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When you think of your life and you're trying to
make the most of it, you want to think about
what are your skills, what are your talents? What are
you just so naturally good at that other people come
to you for.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
That's a calling.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
That is where you can quiet the noise of expectations,
all the demands of life because you know what you're
doing it. You're living your life with purpose, with tenacity,
and most of all, full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to living full out with Nancy Solary as
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
I'm Nancy.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
It' Hilarian. This is the Living full Out show. We've
been talking about how life.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Is what you make of it.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
And you know, I sit here here with you today
as someone who, if you were right in front of me,
could not see your face.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
I'm sure it's a beautiful face, but.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Being legally blind, that has gone away. Or I look
outside in the world and it's all just kind of
light and dark, and I'm so grateful that I can
see light and dark, don't get me wrong, but uh,
there really aren't the trees, and there really isn't the sunset,
and well can't really see those cars that are going
by me. I hear them, I might see a little
(46:36):
flashy light when they go by, but it's.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
All kind of grainy.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
And I only share that with you because when I
was sixteen, and that's when I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa,
it was really hard for our family because it wasn't
just me that was diagnosed.
Speaker 3 (46:56):
It was my two older sisters as well.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
That's right, We're kind of three blind mice of the family.
And at the time my mom my parents had divorced
and my mom was a single mom with three teenage daughters.
All being given the news a really gulp moment that
most likely we would all go blind by forty you know,
make the most of it now, ladies. And that's really
(47:19):
hard to wrap your head around, right, because at sixteen,
I just got my license. I was just the whole
world was ahead of me. But it was also a
weird It was like do I put my foot on
the gas?
Speaker 3 (47:30):
Do I take my foot off the pedal? Like what
do I do?
Speaker 2 (47:33):
And my mental sister and I we did decide, Okay,
well we don't know what this is all going to
look like. Let's go, let's go travel. And so we
went to twenty three countries in Europe in about just
less than three months. And you know, I'm so grateful
that I could see the Rome Colisseum, I could see
the Vatican, I could see you know, parts of Paris,
(47:56):
I could all these you know, really enchanting parts of
Europe that we might read in books or see in movies.
I was there, and it was it was just a time.
It was stamped and time stamped in my brain. So
later on now, when I can't see as much, I
did a couple of years back, go back to Paris
and wow, I got my nose literally right up to
(48:18):
the Eiffel Tower and it was really hard to see
that tower. So glad that I was able to see
all that earlier. But life is what you make of it, truly,
because I fill in a lot of things now. If
I were to be outside and on a balcony, and
I'll probably do that today. It's a beautiful day. If
(48:38):
I look at the sky, I can't really see it's blue,
but I can fill in in my mind, what a beautiful, sunny,
blue day. It's my mind I could fill in what
I want. And when I meet someone for the first time,
or if I haven't seen them in a long time,
it's the embrace of their hug, it's their handshake, it's
(48:59):
the warmth of you know, it kind of fills in
for me what I think they look like if I've
never met them before, or a lot of times when
I see people I haven't seen it in a while,
I might kind of in my mind go back and
fill in from the last time I saw them. Well,
and a lot of people really like that because there's
(49:20):
few gray hairs and wrinkles.
Speaker 3 (49:21):
For many people in my life, they're like great and
you know, so you know, when.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
I think about making the most of what I've been
dealt in life, it really is having that glass full mentality,
abundantly full. In fact, if it was a glass of
cabernet all the way to the tiptop, love my cabs.
But the thing is, truthfully, you have to have a
sense of humor about life. If you don't, it's just
(49:48):
dun dun, dun dune. Right, There's always going to be things.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
That go sideways.
Speaker 2 (49:53):
There's always going to be unexpected. There's always going to
be people with bad attitudes, which personally, I think those
who need to be loved on more.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
Right, something's making them cranky.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
It's not you, it's not me, you know, And there's
always going to be this diagnosis. Everyone gets it at
some point. I got mine at sixteen. Let's hope it's
my last. But everybody gets that unfortunate not the best
bedside manner from a doctor of you've now got this,
good luck to you, right, and there are some good
doctors out there, but anyone with a health condition will
(50:25):
tell you it. It's like Pandora's box. It's like what
do I do? How do I fix it? Is there
a cure? What's going to.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
Become of me?
Speaker 2 (50:33):
And the best advice I can really round out today's
show with is most of all, trust either your instincts,
trust yourself, your ability to make good decisions, lean on
your faith. I interview a lot of people here at
the Living Full Out show and in my conversations with
(50:55):
them again, whether it's they're trusting themselves or leaning on
their faith, that is it.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
That's the ticket. That is how you make the most.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Of life, because you already are mentally prepared that things
are going to happen. You might get a little bit
wounded here and there and a little bit you know, disappointed,
and you know life is not always a box of chocolates.
But at the same time, that trusting yourself, having that
faith just gives you that core, that that inner strength
(51:30):
that you can pull out on those hard days. So
I encourage you to let that part of you shine
or tap into that if you haven't already, and most
of all the entire Living Filat family, we want to
make sure that you stay supported beyond today's show, that
you go to the app store, download the Living app,
listen to us at the gym, stay motivated, hear other
(51:54):
people's stories who have gone through hard times but came
out the other side, because that is what kind of
bonds us all together. Right, We've all had not the
exact same experience, but you know what, we all have
the desire to do what that's right, Live full out
and you can too.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
Season.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to The Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfollout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
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