When Love Is Available We Can All Live Full Out

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Celary, and today we're going to be
talking about love is available. Oh how yummy is that?
But that love is coming in different forms, right. Sometimes
it's from others, Sometimes it's from our fur babies. Sometimes
it's love for ourselves. And so we're going to be
talking about that and how love can get us through

(00:41):
hard times throughout the show. We're also going to be
coming up in our next segment with our inspirational guests,
Scott Burns. Honestly, what a very interesting, talented man. He
is not shy about talking about drugs and alcohol and
the different addictions he's had, but really his quest to

(01:02):
find love. Just wrestle it down and value it, appreciate it.
So can't wait for you to hear his story so
good and then also I want to make sure that
you do go to the app store if you're on
the go, at the gym or in the car. We
do have the Living Full Out Show app. It's free
and you can listen to us on the go or download.

(01:23):
If you have Alexa, you can have us as a
skill in your Alexa there. Just look for the Living
Full Out Show. And again, if you have any questions,
feel free to reach out to us at connect at
Livingfullout dot com so we can get you support beyond
today's show. Now, I am getting word from our producer
that we do a listener on the line. Let's go
check in with them. Hello, welcome to the Living Full

(01:45):
Out Show.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
Hi.

Speaker 4 (01:46):
My name is Lisa Hall, and I have a question.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
Yes, Hi Lisa, how can I help you?

Speaker 4 (01:51):
Yes, Nancy, I was wondering how I can balance saving
money for retirement along with enjoying an affordable diet, heat,
mind and my family healthy.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
Who well in this in this world? That that's a
that's a tough act to follow. Huh, it's hard to do.
Let me let me ask you a question, because are
you retiring or have you already retired?

Speaker 4 (02:15):
No, I have not retired yet. Got to give more
years on me?

Speaker 2 (02:20):
And what is your fear when you retire. How do
you think that's going to impact the way that you
currently live your lifestyle?

Speaker 4 (02:30):
Maybe just not have enough to live comfortably mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
And do you want to fully fully retire and do
and really not have to do anything or is it
just the job that you have now it's maybe more
demanding than you want. Could you maybe transition into something
less stressful?

Speaker 4 (02:55):
You know, that's that's a really good question. I you know,
I've been my career for eleven years. I don't know
if you know, I'm ready to do a t uh,
you know, transfer change into another maybe career filled. I
know that my biggest fear I think when I retire
is not, you know, not having enough, but also being

(03:17):
able to enjoy life. It seems that you know, on
day to day basically we have you know, you know,
I'm just really having a tough time saving money for retirement.

Speaker 5 (03:31):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
And what what do you do for work right now?
What is your career?

Speaker 4 (03:35):
Yeah, so I work for a car dealership and I
worked I started out as a reception moved my way
into the accounting department within the last six months. And
I also work a part time job.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
And and that, especially with that part time job, that
that is a lot of work. But obviously retirement is
scary knowing that you take the part time job away,
that's less money. You take the full time job away,
that's more or less money. So I think your concerns
are valid. It's one of those things where I think

(04:13):
you have to be really honest with your expenses, the
daily expenses, but also just really honest with future life goals.
Now you sound young. I don't know how old you are.
I won't make you say, but I think you've got
a lot of life ahead of you. So you kind
of have to think about, Okay, what are some of

(04:34):
those bucket lists places I want to travel? What could
that cost? What holidays do we celebrate, birthdays, all of that,
And if you add all that together in terms of
the gift giving, how much does that approximately cost? And
the charities that you might want to keep up on

(04:54):
each year, how much does that generally cost? And then
kind of looking down memory lane not too far back
because obviously prices of products have gone up, you know,
on the average month, what does that cost? And I
think you want to work backwards figure out almost like
a life plan. So when people put to open a business,

(05:16):
they do a business plan. You might serve yourself well
to do a life business plan, and it could be
on a spreadsheet, it could be on a word doc.
And because of your accounting background, I think you would
almost enjoy this process. But finding a way to kind
of put out there what that might look like expense wise,

(05:37):
and then we know we always need the emergency account,
the what if account. So one might say, well, gosh,
if I take all that in consideration, I may never retire,
but I think that you could. I think it's just
about knowing what's ahead of you and then knowing what
you need to have when you do retire. And the

(06:00):
reason why I asked about would you be open to
other positions is because out of the pandemic, out of
where we are in recent times, there's a lot of
remote work, there's a lot of side hustles. Right there's
even more companies now that want people part time, and

(06:24):
so it's very possible. All the skills that you have,
your communication skills, oh, your accounting skills, I mean, those
would be great to offer. Just I'm not saying you
even have to own your own business. There are online
job boards like Upwork is a very familiar one UPWRK,

(06:50):
and there's other ones as well where you could go
on there, you could create a profile and you know,
work jobs, d two hours a week, hours a week,
whatever feels comfortable. And then of course there's a lot
of nonprofits or even for profits that you know just
may really need someone with your skill set to step

(07:12):
in and offer that. And I find so often that
it's better to go the road less traveled by others.
And what I mean by that is it's not about
going on indeed and applying for an ad and going
where the masses are going. It's maybe just putting together

(07:34):
a really nice cover letter. How my name is, introduce
yourself what you do, and find like a local organization
or company that you would like to help out, and
it might just be very interesting to have. Let's just
make this up a flower boutique, a daycare and here

(07:55):
you send them a letter and you're not looking to
make a big career out of it, but hey, this
is what I can offer your dent in the street.
For me, I'm very reliable. I can work remotely or
come in whatever you want to do. It's amazing how
when they get that letter, you might just be an
answer to their problem. Do you see that?

Speaker 6 (08:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Definitely, So when you think about the opportunities that are
now at our doorsteps of remote working again through upwork,
or again being able to boldly put your own letter together.
You don't even have to do a resume with all
your experience, just a nice little letter, almost like an

(08:42):
intent letter type of thing, and then just say hey,
how can I help? Oh gosh, we'd love your help.
I don't know if we can afford you, Well, what
could you pay? And maybe that what could you pay
is just what you would want as you transition from retirement.
And if you know in that spreadsheet, in that life

(09:02):
business plan, if you know what's coming ahead of you
and what that's going to cost, then you know what
to say yes to. How does that sound like.

Speaker 4 (09:16):
A really good Yeah, that sounds like a really good idea.
I really like that definitely. You know, I hadn't thought about,
you know, and you're right, with so many things with
you know, remote jobs and the way we are today
than we were two years ago, I hadn't even thought
about maybe possibly doing something remote a few hours or

(09:36):
a few days a week.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Yeah, And it's it's actually really exciting because I think
what you know, working at a car dealership, you've got
to have again really good communication skills, which you got.
You have a little bit of sales skills. I love
that you love accounting. I mean, and what I also
know about people when they retire is if you fully

(09:59):
retire and you don't work, people want their mind challenged.
You want to keep yourself on point. So I would
definitely look into some of those really really part time
options and kind of let that be your transition. But
I really appreciate you calling in. It's a great question,
and I'm sure so many are thinking the same thing.

Speaker 4 (10:21):
Well, I do appreciate you having me on, and you know,
I will definitely look forward to, you know, checking out
all this information you shared with me today.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
You got it. I believe in you. You'll do great.
And for everybody listening, we're going to come right back
with Scott Burns again so inspiring. I can't wait to
share his story. We'll be back.

Speaker 7 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.

(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.

(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
Especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org. Brought to
you by the AMA, CDC and the AD Council.

Speaker 8 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?

Speaker 9 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.

Speaker 8 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.

Speaker 9 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.

Speaker 8 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.

Speaker 9 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.

Speaker 10 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.

Speaker 8 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.

Speaker 10 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
prediabetes dot org?

Speaker 9 (12:43):
Warning? The cap is loose on that cat. Young.

Speaker 8 (12:47):
Oh don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have prediabetes dot Org?

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Today?

Speaker 8 (12:53):
That's do I have Prediabetes dot org?

Speaker 10 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes awareness partners.

Speaker 7 (13:00):
Hehu, oh brah, that's buzzed. Oh yeah, yeah, he's starting
with the woots.

Speaker 11 (13:05):
And now a speech.

Speaker 12 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.

Speaker 13 (13:12):
Who's with me?

Speaker 10 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too.

Speaker 10 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.

Speaker 8 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True, you're out.

Speaker 9 (13:34):
You got me.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
Galaxy safe once again.

Speaker 14 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition, safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's Nfamilyfire dot Org. Brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council.

Speaker 5 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the.

Speaker 12 (14:05):
Lingo Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going

(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.

Speaker 5 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org. A public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the AD Council.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Soilary. As
a life coach, Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You could ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.

(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
Thank you so much for joining us. I'm Nancy Silari
and this is the Living Full Out Show, and today
we're talking about love is available, and I love the
idea of that right that we can go through hard times,
but that love is right there to kind of hold
us and protect us and give us hope. And our
inspirational guest today, Scott Burns, just such a great example

(15:57):
of what it means to live full out and his
road has not been easy, but he's made choices that
have led him to love. So i'd like to welcome
Scott to the show.

Speaker 15 (16:08):
Thank you, Nat, I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Oh nice to have you, Scott, and really and I
want to kind of take our audience back a bit.
I know, growing up was just kind of dicey, it was.
It was scary, probably even because your dad was a
raging alcoholic and abusive and you know what really put

(16:30):
your mom through a lot of violent times and just
your entire family. I know that kind of puts you
in a place where, even as a young boy, you
did turn to alcohol and drugs. Now, part of that
could have also been because you started early performing in
VARs and as a musician. But what was it about

(16:53):
that escape? What did the drugs and alcohol do for you?

Speaker 9 (17:00):
Uh?

Speaker 15 (17:00):
Gosh, I've never really thought about it in that light before.
You know, it was really you've used the term escape,
and I don't know that I've ever really been comfortable
with that term. It really was more of a numbing
I think, you know, than because after having watched your

(17:21):
father try to murder your mother and in front of you,
you know, and and then you know he was also
a pedophile, and so you know, the experiences that he
put my sister through, and and later we found out
two other families that we were not aware of that
we've since made contact with. You know, that was just
an awful lot to kind of try to. You don't

(17:43):
really escape it as much as you try to forget it.
And so I think that, you know, the drugs and
alcohol was a way of kind of diving into the
world of you know, rock music and rock performance, which
I spent you know, many of my early years doing
completely immersing and that aspect of that world in a

(18:04):
way that kind of allowed you to forget the part
that you were trying to get away from. So it's
funny that after we started, my wife and I started
the Love Journeys to Love project that we're currently involved in,
and I started doing some public speaking on this topic.
One of the things they tell you in public speaking

(18:24):
is that people love redemption stories and they want to
hear you know, they call it, oftentimes the zero to
hero story. You know, they want to people love, you know,
the rising from the ashes and the phoenix stories and
people's lives and and I'm like that too. But I
looked at Telly when I started the public speaking and said, gosh,
I just I just don't have anything like that, you know,

(18:46):
And she looked at me like I was out of
my mind, and you said, she literally said, are you
fving kidding me, and she actually reminded me of, you know,
all those experiences you know, early on and kind of
you know, brought all that back. And that was when
I started my public speaking website, which I know that
you've seen, you know, was an aspect of my life

(19:06):
that I had not considered putting in there before because
I guess, you know, you do such a good job
of compartmentalizing those things. And back to your original question,
drugs and alcohol as a way of kind of helping
you build those walls and keep those partitions strong and
in place.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Well, and again, I think it's important that you share
that part of your story because you are so full
of love today. But I mean, you came from very violent, scary,
tortured kind of beginnings, and so I'm proud of the
man that you are today. I know that you actually
your wife Tony, you all knew each other from junior high.

(19:46):
Obviously she didn't partake in the drugs and alcohol like you,
but no, but you all have been married now for
over forty years. But you know, it's important to note
that it wasn't like the drugs, the alcohol, the music
and all that that was just a high school thing.
I know you graduated early, got your ged, but there
was a time when you tried to get Tony to

(20:09):
get you out of work one day because you were
still kind of in the drugs, in the alcohol. And
that date, you know, did change your life. So when
you finally got off the couch and you found yourself where.

Speaker 15 (20:25):
Oh it was, I'll back up a little on what
you said. It wasn't just that time she had. You know,
anyone that has been through you know, codependency is aware
of you know, you're put in situations of trying to
save and resurrect and cover for, you know, behaviors over
a period of years. And so the incident you're talking

(20:46):
about was August eighth, nineteen ninety and that was the
last time that I had asked her to do that
because I was you know, that was that rock bottom
moment that most people who survive serious addictions to drugs
and alcohol find, you know, that pivotal moment when you
realize you're going to change, you're going to die. And

(21:08):
that morning I could not move, could not function, and
she had finally had enough and said I'm not doing
this anymore, and she left, and there was it was
I don't know, you want to say providential or you know,
certainly fortunate that And a friend of mine calls this
nog and navigation. He said, there's a time for the

(21:29):
most fortunate of us when a hand comes out of
the sky and it grabs you by the head and
it says, here's where you need to be. And I
walked out the door of my house where we lived
at the time, when our kids were little, they were
off at daycare, and found myself walking and walked without
any predisposition or intention of doing so, straight to a

(21:51):
place in our neighborhood that turned out to be It
was a converted billiard hall and turned out to be
a place where our local AA group gathered and walked
into place and made some friends and here we are,
you know, nineteen ninety we're what thirty three years later.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
And you refer to that as your rep and you
refer to that as your rebirthday.

Speaker 15 (22:15):
Why, well, because it is. That's that's the time when
you're I don't want to put a religious connotation on it.
That's that's when you are rebirth, When you are born again,
you're you know, you you really start a new a
new existence from that point forward. I think for those
of us that you know, both experienced drugs and alcoholism

(22:39):
from the time we were young and then went through it.
As you know young adults and adults, you know, you
really have this demarcation line in your life where you know,
this was my life before this event and this was
my life after. And you know, like I said, I

(22:59):
I think I did such a good job partitioning that
there are times and I just I don't really remember
a recall or or dwell on you know that earlier
part of my life.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Well, I honestly again, I'm proud of you for that.
I mean, I think you know, everything builds and it's
built to who you are today. So so Scott, stay
with us, and for everybody today you know we are
talking about love is available and sometimes even in the
darkest of times, just like Scott went through, the love

(23:33):
of a much needed meeting and new friends, a love
of wife, a love of kids, they can get us
to where we need to go. And that is part
of the living full out journey is kind of that awakening,
that realizing that we can be more, that we can
let go of toxic behaviors and situations. So We'll be

(23:57):
right back after this break.

Speaker 16 (24:03):
Today, in school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I
learned that no one likes me. In English, I learned
that I'm disgusting, And in Physics, I learned that I'm
a loser.

Speaker 17 (24:16):
Today, in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim, I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying.

Speaker 18 (24:26):
Today in school, I learned that I have no friends.
In English, I learned that I make people sick. And
at lunch I learned that I sit on my own
because I smell. In chemistry, I learned.

Speaker 17 (24:38):
That no one In biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid, And in math I learned that I'm trash.

Speaker 16 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.

Speaker 8 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.

Speaker 19 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the ad Council.

Speaker 20 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach, I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot

(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you and here's to you living your life full out.

Speaker 21 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority.

Speaker 22 (25:42):
I know, they'll try to break your will.

Speaker 21 (25:47):
They'll push you to the edge of your sanity because
that's what kids do. But this car is your territory,
not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment, who cleans it,
who drives it? You do, that's who. And in here

(26:08):
your word is law. So when you say you won't
move until everyone's buckled up, you won't budge an inch.

Speaker 22 (26:18):
Until you hear that clear never give up until they
buckle up. A message from the National Highway Traffic Safety
Administration and the AD Council. For more information, visit safercar
dot gov slash kids Buckle Up.

Speaker 3 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family find

(26:56):
out at pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma
and Immunology.

Speaker 12 (27:04):
It's slipping, coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.

Speaker 21 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.

Speaker 13 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner. I get it,
flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts

(27:30):
with a monitor.

Speaker 17 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.

Speaker 8 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.

Speaker 7 (27:36):
Yeah, it's slipping coffit check, cop to doctor, KNOWLNE share.

Speaker 13 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power. Learn more at Manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at Livingfullout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Thank you so much again for joining us today. I
am Nancy Silari, and this is the Living Full Out Show,
and today we're talking about love is Available, and we
have our inspirational guests, Scott Burns, and there's just so
much I want to get to more about Scott. So
we're going to jump right back in.

Speaker 9 (28:39):
Hi.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
Scott.

Speaker 15 (28:41):
All right, Nancy, thanks for having me back.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
I appreciate it absolutely. Now we're going to jump really
really quickly to what I feel is really I mean,
I just might tip my hat to you, really because
you had not really been in school since high school
and then all of a sudden and you kind of
get this opportunity, a real career change or real stepping

(29:05):
into the new you to an opportunity to become a teacher,
and somebody said to you, I will give you this shot,
but you got to get all your tests and certifications,
and you know, you got twenty months. And I mean,
I don't know about everybody else listening, but like, if
you're out of the school vibe, it's really hard to

(29:25):
jump right back into it, let alone having such a
tight restricted time frame. What did you have to do, Scott,
Because I mean, honestly, you were mister mom for anybody
who members that movie, right, you were show you were
mister mom. You're taking care of the kids, kids, you
were studying, you were still gigging and doing studio work,

(29:48):
being a great husband. Like, how did you do that?
And how did you get that certification in twenty months?

Speaker 15 (29:57):
Well, my mentor was Mike, the principal at the school
where you know, we helped found one of the first
charter schools in Colorado and one of the first coren
knowledge charter schools in the country. And he because I
had been volunteering at the school so much after we
founded it and had to come up with some ideas
for some of our gifted students, and he just wrote

(30:20):
a little note on the side of one of the
proposals that I made and said, hey, this is really good.
How about getting a certificate and taking a classroom? And
it wasn't something I had ever considered doing before. You know,
I'd been a performing musician and a writer and some
other things in my life, but going into education was
never part of the part of the gigs. So when

(30:40):
he said that, I, you know, went to him and
I said, if you're serious, I can do this. But
as you just mentioned, that only gave me twenty months.
And so I took courses from four different universities around
the country and guided independent studies and worked with as
many other mentors as I could, and probably the hardest
I've ever worked on anything in my life. And twenty

(31:01):
months of a four year college degree and degree in
education was my undergrad work, and then the student teaching
and certification and all the process that came along with it.
And it was a labor of love on my own
part and supported by the love of my mentor and
my family and my life well.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
And twenty four years later you were teaching, teaching, teaching,
and I mean again, really, I'm so impressed by that,
because that is if anybody were to ever say game
on Scott, you really went for it. And the other
thing I think is really impressive is just who you

(31:39):
are as a man and what you've gone through from
your early beginnings to even that moment of getting all
those certifications. You initially wanted to go out there and
hit the road on your Harley and you know, really
study men in America and kind of what was happening
with them. But I know you love your wife, Tony,

(32:00):
like with all your heart, and that journey forged into
a journey of you and her really understanding love and
the variations of love. And so what is your project called?
And just really kind of quickly, what is it that
you do in terms of your books you're writing.

Speaker 15 (32:22):
Well, the project is called Journeys to Love. And we
started with the intent of collecting because people kept coming
to us in the different industries and businesses we've worked in.
We've been in education together, the music industry. We were
Renaissance festival performers for years together, and people kept continually
coming to us with this question about you know, what
is your secret? As if we had, you know, we

(32:43):
were some grand life gurus and we could tell people
this is how you're supposed to live and love one another.
And we knew we were qualified to do that. But
we thought, the country is there's so many amazing people
and cultures and events and places, and the human geography
of this country is fascinating. We thought we'll go ask America. Well,
those couples stories turned into an exploration of what we

(33:05):
call loves of place, purpose and one another, you know,
a much broader view of what love is. And then,
of course, after the pandemic hit in twenty twenty, we
had to come off the road. We had done one
hundred thousand miles across the country and been in forty
eight states and visited. We have five terabytes of video,
interviews and audio and writing from across the country on
the topic of you know, what is love? How do

(33:26):
people do it? What is this thing that fascinates and
drives and inspires us so deeply? And those conversations, in
turn have turned into interviews and conversations and discussions with
people in fields it's diverses, neurosciences, and quantum physics and
animal behavior and all the different faiths and looking for
the commonalities between them. So the books and our upcoming

(33:49):
film and the other work that we're doing, the public
speaking that we do all centers around the idea of
what do all these people and disciplines and faiths and
cultures and lifestyles agree on about love? And what messages
can we take from that in a way that both
encourages and inspires the way that we live our lives
as individuals and as you know, people living together in

(34:13):
a society.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
I love that. And you know, today's theme we actually
wrapped it around your love theme, what does love is
available mean to you?

Speaker 15 (34:22):
Well, the term actually came from a woman that we
interviewed in Lexington, Kentucky, by the name of Latanya Jones.
And Latania is an advocate for the families of death
row inmates, and so her experience is dealing with people
that have come through the most incredibly violent and destructive
and painful lives and acts. And you know, I asked her,

(34:47):
how do you maintain your sort of sense of humanity,
the love that you have for other people when you're
faced with these situations that you deal with, And she said, well,
we forget. And I asked her, if you had to
define what love is, how is it that it gets
through these things? And she is the one that told us,
she said, when she defined love for her, she said,
love is available. She said, there's all these terrible things

(35:08):
that happened to us, you know, as a culture. There's
you know, climate change, in school shootings and racism. There's
all these terrible things that happened to us as individuals.
She had just been profiled by the police. She said,
you know, I went through a bankruptcy. I have all
these terrible things that happened, but we forget that there's
something else incredible that's happening at the same time. All
the time, there's you know, the law of unintended consequences.

(35:31):
There's always some good that you're not expecting that's going
to happen through all these things, you know, and a tragedy,
people are brought together. And you know when she brought
when she told us, you know, a love is available,
it really, you know, changed our perspective on how we
look at what the nature and essence of love is
in people's lives and how we can use it to

(35:52):
you know, continually inspire ourselves to live to a higher purpose.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
Oh, you know, I love that do And you know,
I gotta say, mister Scott Burns, really, I know you
don't do a lot of these interviews where you talk
about yourself, and you're kind of like, you know, opening
up the vault for the living full Out community today.

(36:17):
But you know, it is important that we always hold
a place for love in our hands and our hearts,
and it is important that people can hear a story
like yours and know that you can go from an abusive,
raging father, pedophile, alcoholic and have your own addictions and
come out the other end in a marriage that's successful,

(36:40):
kiddos that are healthy and happy, and you've just wrapped
yourself in love. I don't think you can ask for more, Scott,
and so I'm really proud of you. And just as
we round out today's show, just in a minute or
so here, what does living full out mean to you?

Speaker 15 (37:01):
You know, I don't know, Nancy, if you do visualizations
or affirmations for yourself, but when I you know, each
day I always tell myself want to do my affirmations
in the morning, and you kind of try to put
yourself in that emotional space of you know, if these things,
these great things that I aspire to were actually to
happen to me, you know, how would I feel about that?

(37:21):
And once you get yourself into that space, you remind
yourself of what was keeping you from being there to
begin with. And that's to live without doubt and to
live without fear. One of the things that I always
tried to get across to my students in all the
years that I taught was, you know, the idea of
what would you do if you knew you could not fail.
We're so afraid of being rejected, of failing, of not

(37:43):
being good enough. And it's the fear. Fear is the
enemy of love. Fear apathy is the is the opposite
of love. That fear is its enemy. And what we
fear when we doubt, it keeps us from being able
to achieve and to find that love within ourself that
then enables us to go out and bring it to
the world.

Speaker 9 (38:04):
Well.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
I love that I do, and I think that's just
really really really important that And I'm such a lover,
like I mean, everybody knows on the show, I love
homework again, you know, so when I hear stories of
you and Tony and just all that you've been through.
And I guess the last thing I want to say,

(38:25):
and again we just have another minute here, but you know,
how do you calm those self doubts? Because you come
across so confident, so together and well mannered, and from
where you've been, how do you calm those triggers?

Speaker 9 (38:46):
Wow?

Speaker 15 (38:46):
I don't know that there's anything super conscious on my part.
And I have to tell you how much I appreciate
the vote of confidence from you and saying that's how
I come off. But I think one of the advantages
that you have when you look at the dark times
and the travails and the difficulties that you go through
in your life is, especially as you get older, you
find it takes an awful lot more to scare you.

(39:09):
You know, there's there's there, there are you know, things
that you survive where you say, Okay, no matter what
it is that's in front of me, I know that
I've been through worse.

Speaker 4 (39:20):
I can take this.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
I got, I got, Oh my god, Scott, Like I
am smiling right now. You can't see me, but I'm
smiling because what a perfect note to end on, because
like I feel that same all the time, I think
to myself, you know, I mean, I'm legally blind dude,
having obviously retinitis pigmentosa, and I think, yeah, kind of
once you've gone blind, it's like it really takes a

(39:42):
lot to rattle me, you know. So so I really
do get that. Oh you're such a gem, and I
think you should go out there more and share your story. Really,
but I'm honored that you, you know, you did this
today with me and trusted the process. And and thank
you Scott for being on the show, oh very much,

(40:02):
and for everybody else just like Scott, I mean, sometimes
sharing our story is so uncomfortable and you don't look
at me and do I have anything to say? And
I think that's what really love is available is all about,
is when we pull back the curtain, when we are
willing to kind of share our stories and be vulnerable,

(40:23):
that's how we learn. I mean, I'm just so in
awe of Scott and Tony and all their mission, and
I know that all of you have a great purpose
as well. So reach out to us at connect at
livingfullout dot com. Share with us what you went through,
how you got through it, what you learned, and just
like Scott Burns. We'd love to have you on as
an inspirational guest, but most of all, you know we'll

(40:46):
be coming right back. And today it's all about love
is available as we live full out.

Speaker 11 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months
they're combining vowels and consonants talk, By nine months they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months

(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, man,
especially if there's no babbling at all. Little to no
babbling by twelve months or later is just one of
the possible signs of autism and children. Early screening and
intervention can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a

(41:49):
world of possibilities. Take the first step at autism speaks
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
Autism Speaks and the Aduncil.

Speaker 6 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.

Speaker 8 (42:17):
On the label.

Speaker 6 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin, UVB rays burn and both
cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't count if you
use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day.

Speaker 9 (42:33):
Wrong.

Speaker 6 (42:34):
Eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope, anytime you're outside,
UB rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information.

(42:57):
A message from the US Food and Drug admans.

Speaker 23 (43:01):
Right now, our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.

Speaker 7 (43:06):
I gotta tell you.

Speaker 15 (43:07):
I was nervous to talk to someone so different than me.

Speaker 9 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.

Speaker 23 (43:12):
Love has no labels and one small step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.

Speaker 24 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.

Speaker 7 (43:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 23 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash one small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation of your own.

Speaker 9 (43:42):
I know one thing.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.

Speaker 23 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation. At Love has
No Labels dot com slash one small Step. A message
from story Core Love has No Labels and the ad Council.

Speaker 8 (44:02):
All right, grew, Let's get her dug.

Speaker 15 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand.

Speaker 8 (44:08):
I'm planning that tree you remember.

Speaker 24 (44:10):
No matter how large or small your digging project may be,
no matter how urban or rural, you must always call
eight one one before any digging project. Eight one to
one is our national one call number, alerting your local
utility companies to come out and mark any lines.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
They have near your dig site.

Speaker 24 (44:30):
You must call eight one to one at least two
to three business days before any digging project so you
can avoid hitting our essential buried utilities. This includes natural
gas and petroleum pipelines, electra communication cables, and water and
sewer lines. So before you do this or this, make

(44:52):
sure you do this. For digging projects big or small,
make the call to eight one to one, brought to
you by Common Ground Alliance.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
Always remember that love is available. I know sometimes we
can feel as though we're out there in a big
ocean on our own, in a rowboat, by ourselves, but
truly you're not. Everybody around you wants you to thrive
in people that you don't even know. So be arms
wide open, ears open, eyes open, most of all, heart open,

(45:25):
because when you do that, you're really allowing yourself to
be open to love as you live full out.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
Welcome back. I'm Nancy Silary. This is the Living Full
Out Show, and today we've been talking about love is available,
and honestly I'm smiling if you can hear it through
my tone and my voice, because I love I love love,
I love being in love. I love giving love away
and y'all know I love my Hallmark, right, I love
watching Love. But the thing is is, I really believe

(46:22):
that that is such a great place to start my day.
That is a great place to end my day. The
book ends, really And what do I mean by that, Well,
I guess I'm a little bit of a nerd. If
I was the pull back the curtain, you guys would
see in the morning that I really do start my
day with love. I love nothing more than you know,

(46:43):
starting up the day with turning on my love songs.
I have my favorite love songs, Channel and little Rod Stewart,
little Celine Dion, little Whitney Houston. Right, I don't know,
it just kind of feels like a warm blanket around
my body and real my heart and and then I'm
I'm feeling inspired, I'm feeling safe, I'm feeling invigorated, and

(47:06):
I oftentimes will sing along and you know, I'm sure
that drives my dog's Frost and Charlie crazy. But that's
a great way to start. And then from there, when
I'm talking to people through my day, Yes, there's to
do's right, there's deadlines, there's you know, projects, we're working on.
But I like to give the love away. I like

(47:27):
to ask you know, how are you today? Kind of
a temperature check, you know, for people on my team,
or you know, just checking in with even family and friends.
It's important to show that you love somebody, and you
don't have to see the words I love you, right,
love can be shown by just asking you know, how's
your day? Or I was thinking of you, or I'm

(47:50):
proud of you. That is love that we can all
give away. And if those words are not words that
just roll off your lips and your tongue, then those
make beautiful text messages or emails or even a love letter.
I mean, some things never go out of style. And
as I journey through my day, I definitely continue to

(48:10):
love even myself, meaning that you know, some days I
will eat healthy because I love my body in the
sense that I want to keep myself thriving and I
want to have good energy and you know, live as
many long days as I can. But I do love cheeseburgers,
and I do love champagne and wine and all the

(48:33):
you know, naughty calories.

Speaker 9 (48:35):
Right.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
But I think love comes in the form of a
treat of a reward, and that's loving yourself, that's loving life,
that's you know, experiencing the greatness of life. And then
I like to end my day also wrapped up with love.
And that's usually when I will call my mom, one
of my best friends, and check in with her final

(48:57):
call of the day and tell her lover. And then
of course that's when I'm you generally watching Hallmark or
something else, or sometimes I'll even pop on a shark tank.
Why because I love watching people who really enjoy what
they do. They love their business, they love their product,
They're passionate. That's love even And then when I go

(49:20):
to sleep at night, my toes are wiggling, my ears
are wiggling because I have literally wrapped my day around
love because it is available. Now that's just the Nancy day.
But the most interesting thing about being legally blind is
the experience that it has given me. And what do

(49:41):
I mean by that, Well, you really start to see
the great side of you know, human nature. So when
I go to like a local store, a grocery store,
let's say, you know, those people are very loving. You know,
they want to help me do some personal shopping. They
know the way I want my salmon packaged. You know,

(50:01):
they know my go to foods, or if I go
to like my local Jersey Mikes. I love Jersey Mikes.
When I enter the door, they're like, hi, Nancy. I
mean I might not even go in there. Oh but
you know once every couple of weeks. But that's so
loving that they know my name, that they know frost,

(50:22):
you know. And so I think a lot of times
love is not just romantic love. It's not just you know,
kind of a silly kind of a you know, warm
and fuzzy, gooey word. Love can be done in actions.
And I remember one time and there's I want to
share this tool with you, because wow, I really hope

(50:43):
everyone reads it. There's a book called the Five Love Languages,
and I really think it's a special book to read
because it teaches you the love language of service, the
love language of affirmations, the love language of touch, and
I think it makes us better partners, eat, romantically, and
even in business, as well as just a better friend

(51:06):
and human because when you know the love language of
another person, you know then you can speak to that language.
You can your actions that you do will go right
to their heart and soul because you're speaking their love language,
and then vice versa to learn more about yourself, like
what makes you tick, what makes you feel safe and loved? Right,

(51:27):
that's knowing your love language. So definitely I would check
that out. But know that love is available. It's all
around us, and The Living Full Out Show loves you,
and we thank you so much for listening. Make sure
that you go to the app store look for the
Living Full Out Show app. It's free. We love to
keep you motivated on the go. Check out all of

(51:48):
our social media while we're constantly sharing more and more
inspirational stories and little tips and tricks here and there.
So truly, I hope you go out out there love
big No, it's available, and here's to all of you
just living full out in a big way.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to The Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
Livingfollout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out