November 29, 2025 • 52 mins
Episode: 2025.11.29
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to embrace the power of being strong. Life often asks us to stand firm through uncertainty and to discover resilience we never realized we had. Join Nancy as she explores how choosing strength — even in life’s most difficult moments — can help you move forward with courage and confidence.
Our first caller, Sophia, is working hard to balance the demands of school while preparing for a future career in the medical field. She shared how overwhelming it feels to plan her professional path while also keeping up with her studies. Nancy encouraged Sophia to shift her mindset from doubt to certainty — to replace “I hope” and “if” with “when” and “I can,” and to recognize what makes her unique in a competitive field. She reminded Sophia to paint a clear picture of the kind of medical professional she wants to become and to stand confidently in her strengths. Tune in to hear Nancy’s empowering coaching for anyone navigating pressure and seeking clarity in their next steps.
Our inspirational guest, Rosa Parra, shares her journey of courage and survival after years of domestic violence. Growing up longing for stability, she believed marriage at nineteen would finally bring safety, but instead found herself isolated and controlled. Motherhood became both her anchor and her reason to fight back — from a three-day labor at home without medical care to escalating violence that put her and her children in danger. After escaping to a shelter, Rosa rebuilt her life by gaining new skills, and eventually becoming a business owner. Tune in to hear how Rosa transformed her pain into purpose and now uses her voice to support other survivors.Perhaps you’re facing your own moment of fear or uncertainty, or feel tested by circumstances beyond your control. Remember that being strong often begins with one small step — choosing courage when everything feels heavy. By standing firm in who you are and trusting in your inner resilience, you too can rise above your challenges and live full out.
#LivingFullOut #NancySolari #RosaParra #BeingStrong #Resilience #Courage #Survival #Inspiration #Strength #Hope #LifeCoach #OvercomingChallenges #Empowerment #PersonalGrowth #InnerStrength #LiveFullOut
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to embrace the power of being strong. Life often asks us to stand firm through uncertainty and to discover resilience we never realized we had. Join Nancy as she explores how choosing strength — even in life’s most difficult moments — can help you move forward with courage and confidence.
Our first caller, Sophia, is working hard to balance the demands of school while preparing for a future career in the medical field. She shared how overwhelming it feels to plan her professional path while also keeping up with her studies. Nancy encouraged Sophia to shift her mindset from doubt to certainty — to replace “I hope” and “if” with “when” and “I can,” and to recognize what makes her unique in a competitive field. She reminded Sophia to paint a clear picture of the kind of medical professional she wants to become and to stand confidently in her strengths. Tune in to hear Nancy’s empowering coaching for anyone navigating pressure and seeking clarity in their next steps.
Our inspirational guest, Rosa Parra, shares her journey of courage and survival after years of domestic violence. Growing up longing for stability, she believed marriage at nineteen would finally bring safety, but instead found herself isolated and controlled. Motherhood became both her anchor and her reason to fight back — from a three-day labor at home without medical care to escalating violence that put her and her children in danger. After escaping to a shelter, Rosa rebuilt her life by gaining new skills, and eventually becoming a business owner. Tune in to hear how Rosa transformed her pain into purpose and now uses her voice to support other survivors.Perhaps you’re facing your own moment of fear or uncertainty, or feel tested by circumstances beyond your control. Remember that being strong often begins with one small step — choosing courage when everything feels heavy. By standing firm in who you are and trusting in your inner resilience, you too can rise above your challenges and live full out.
#LivingFullOut #NancySolari #RosaParra #BeingStrong #Resilience #Courage #Survival #Inspiration #Strength #Hope #LifeCoach #OvercomingChallenges #Empowerment #PersonalGrowth #InnerStrength #LiveFullOut
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Silari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Silari, and today I'm talking about being
strong in life.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
So sometimes I know it's easier said than done. We
feel insecure, we feel defeated, and sometimes just we're dealing
with health issues and we're not our strongest selves. But
you can be mentally strong, not just physically strong, and
oftentimes we need to to get through life hurdles to
get to the other side. So we're going to be
(00:49):
talking about different variations of that. We're going to be
also joined by our inspirational guest Rosa Parrock coming up shortly,
and her story of domestic violence and how she got
through that and how she had to be strong. It's
very touching actually and really hits close to home for me,
which I'll share with you as well. And most of all,
we want to make sure that you were always inspired,
(01:12):
that you have the motivation when you need us most.
So remember to go to the app store get the
Living Full Out Show app. Listen to us anytime, and
most of all, we really love hearing from you. Make
sure you reach out to us at connect at livingfullout
dot com with any resources you may need or just
you know, other advice or even suggestions of inspirational guests.
(01:33):
We truly love.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Hearing from you.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Now I'm getting word from our producer that we do
a listener on the line. Let's go check in with them. Hello,
welcome to The Living Full Out Show.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Hi, my name is Sophia. Hi, how can I help you?
Nice to meet you.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
So, my question is what advice would you have for
someone who's trying to balance all the demands of school
while also planning for my professionals future, especially when it
feels very overwhelming to manage both at once.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So I get it, But what is what is the
most stressful part of your life right now? Is it
more school or is it more life pressures?
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Probably just the pressure of planning a career.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And when you think about planning your career and you
think about it being something that's done, done, done done right.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
It's heavy, it's stressful, and I get it. It can be.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I oftentimes think about, Wow, I'm so glad that I
graduated way back when, because it is hard. Now there's
remote working, people can get hired anywhere in the world,
a lot of competition. So is it the competition that
stresses you out? Is it will I ever find a job?
(02:59):
Or is it just all it takes to get there?
Speaker 4 (03:04):
More of if Like, I'm hoping that I will find
a job eventually, So it's if I find a job. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Now, what is it that you want to do.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
I want to become a medical professional of some sort,
So either go to PA school or become a nurse.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Now I want to give you a little bit of coaching. Okay, Okay,
So not that you're in an interview right now, but
you have to change the languaging because a minute ago
you said, I hope I find a job. If I
find a job. Now, I'm not going to go FUO
(03:49):
on you here, but I'm just saying you're speaking to
the universe, lack worry, not sure, okay. And what you
always want to remember is you can be in a
class of thirty five students, two hundred students, every college,
(04:10):
every university around the country.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
And the world.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
But there's only one you. Nobody thinks the way you do.
No one has the heart you do. Now, people might
have similar traits the you, but they're not you. So
your quest is to learn, you know, the technical right
of all the things you need to do to do
what you want to do down the line. But really
(04:35):
your quest is to get clarity what makes you unique,
special and different. So, for an example, am I the
only radio show, podcast TV host.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
In the world?
Speaker 5 (04:52):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Am I the only blind visually impaired actually.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
In the world. That's also a no. But does mine
work differently?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Might I have different ways that I prep for shows,
interview guests, give coaching that's different than somebody else.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
That would be a yes.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
So you have to think about what makes you different
and take that on. And sometimes the best way to
do that is to look around you. Sure you've got
great friends all in the same you know, courses that
you're in, look at that as a snapshot and see
(05:39):
how you are different than them. And then so rather
than coming into looking for a job with a hope
and an if, it's more of a when and I
can when I become an X, Y and Z, I
will help people in this way.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Now, the other thing I want you to think about.
So back when I was in real estate, I was
taught something in a course that always stayed with me,
and that was when you're in like on a plane
ride and you're sitting next to the person next to
you and there's.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
That chit chat of what do you do? What do
you do? Right?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I could say, oh, I'm a real estate agent, or
I could say I could paint the picture. Well, I
so somebody says what do you do? Instead of saying
I'm a realtor, I could say, well, I actually help
first time home buyers find their first home and kind
of weather that storm of the nerves and you know,
(06:44):
buying something that they have to fix up. And so
I tell a story. I paint a picture. So rather
than just being what you do being a medical professional,
paint that picture. So if I were to ask you
in the future, what will you be doing?
Speaker 3 (07:05):
What is that picture? What will you be doing.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Helping people, making a difference in people's.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Lives and yeah, and how might you do that?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Are you going to give a medication? Are you gonna
get them to be.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Active and do exercises.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Are you gonna what are you gonna do?
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Yeah, I'm gonna provide them with medication, advise them what
to do after they come out of the office.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Helping them with nutrition, maybe.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Provide them with Yeah, and you help that they need mm.
Speaker 7 (07:48):
Hm Taylor the.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Tailor to their needs exactly. So here's where I'm getting at.
It took a long time to get here, but the
truth is, on your next plane ride, that could be
someone that hires you.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 8 (08:05):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
And so rather than being a student, you are already
that professional. And you want to speak with color, speak
with a story of what you do.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
So in time it becomes less of I hope and
I wonder if and it becomes more of this is
what I do and this is why I'm unique, special
and different. And when you do that, that person is
going to be in awe because they're going to feel it.
(08:41):
They're going to be like, wow, I can feel this
person's passion.
Speaker 9 (08:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
So before we leave the call today, so tell me
what is it that you want to do.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
I'm going to become a medical professional and I'm going
to help people, provide them with any needs tailored to them.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Okay, and you actually already know some of this stuff already,
don't you. Like you're not in the job, you're not
getting paid for it, but you kind of like already
know some of it, right, Yeah, so you could even
take out I'm going to become and I already am. Okay, okay,
(09:25):
So now what are you?
Speaker 4 (09:28):
I am a medical professional?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Mm hmmm. And what do you do if I'm sitting
next to you on a plane and I've got, you know,
parents that need caregiving, I've got a little niece.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
What do you do for people?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
I help everyone and tailored to their needs and just
provide education and help for anyone in need.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Absolutely, And if you were to listen back to this
show and you were to hear yourself say all that,
I think you would find it inspiring. And then the
quest is to break it down even more.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
How do you educate people? How do you help people?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
And the more you can bring that to life, the
more you can tell that story, the more hirable you
will be.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Do you see that?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Okay, yeah, okay, all right, torture is over. But go
out there and tell your story because that is your
calling card. That will be what makes you and separates
you from others.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Thank you for calling in.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
And thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
You're welcome. And she is strong in the spirit of
today's show talking about being strong, she's strong. She's going
to do this and so can you. So we'll be
right back after this break with Rosa Para.
Speaker 10 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts. See,
that's why it's important to be at our strongest. Every year,
(11:46):
millions of people in the US get the flu, especially now.
No one has time to miss out on moments that matter.
So get your flu shot. Find out more and get
my flu shot dot org. Brought to you by the
ama CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 11 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 8 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 11 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 8 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 11 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 8 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.
Speaker 12 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 11 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 12 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
Prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 8 (12:43):
Warning the cap is loose on that cat. Young.
Speaker 11 (12:47):
Oh don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have Prediabetes dot Org? Today? That's do
I have Prediabetes dot Org?
Speaker 12 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes Awareness partners.
Speaker 10 (13:00):
Hehu, oh brah, that's buzzed. Oh yeah yeah, he's starting
with the woots.
Speaker 13 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 14 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 12 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying when it's time to go home, somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Love that guy.
Speaker 8 (13:21):
Me too.
Speaker 12 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.
Speaker 11 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message FROMNITZA and the
AD Council.
Speaker 15 (13:29):
True, You're out, You got me Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 16 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's nfamilyfire dot Org. Brought to you by n Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council.
Speaker 15 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the.
Speaker 14 (14:05):
Lingo Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
Unicorn phone case.
Speaker 15 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Clary As
a life coach. Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You can ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
I'm Nancy Silari and this is the Living Full Out Show,
and we are talking today about being strong in life
and sometimes that it's really hard to do and we
are tested beyond what we even think we can survive.
And Rosa Pata is a great example of just how
you get through times where you just you just have
(15:56):
to do with a lot of faith and hope and
really resources that got her out of a scary domestic
violence relationship to a place of safety. So welcome Rosa.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
To the show.
Speaker 6 (16:09):
Hi, thank you, so.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Happy to have you here.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
And I know when you were growing up, you know,
you were such a good child, really a good girl.
And your mom though, she kind of had you all,
all of you kiddos, living in environments where there were
different men coming and going. You know, some she married,
some were boyfriends, some were inappropriate truly to you and
(16:37):
your siblings, and that just kind of left you all
very scared and unsettled, you know, in your early and
teenage years. And when you decided one day that you
were going to get married, you were going to have
a significant, long term relationship, it was going to be forever.
And you didn't realize though, that forever was going to
(17:00):
come at nineteen. Why did you get married so young?
Speaker 6 (17:06):
Because my mom was going to be moving out of
the country where I was living. That it was Mexico,
and I didn't want it to come to the United States,
so I wanted to stay there with my friends and
the people that I know. So I decided to get married.
And this guy was nice and loving and caring. So
(17:28):
I was like, Okay, I'm going to get married at nineteen.
This is going to be my forever and that's that
was my plans.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Well, and you know it's it's it's good until it
isn't right, correct, And when you signed that marriage certificate.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
You were all in this was forever.
Speaker 12 (17:48):
But it was.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Really like night and day next day that it wasn't.
What were the early signs that you knew you were
in trouble.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
So as soon as the wedding ended the next I
will say the next two days, he threw up all
my clothes. He said that since I was now married,
I was supposed to dress differently when I was supposed
to wear his clothes. So I was not able to
(18:19):
go see my friends because I was a merry woman.
So all my friends I was nineteen and what all
my friends were single, So that was not a good example.
I cannot go up by myself, I cannot talk to
no one that he didn't allow and all that was
just because he was teaching me how to be a
good wife.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Well, Rosie, I think you're pretty great as you are,
and I'm sorry that it switched on you like that
and you ended up having your first son, Jacob. But
even that, as happy as he was to be having
a son, he made that even difficult for you.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
The labor.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
So because when by that time I was in the
United States, my mom moved here and I came to visit.
I decided to stay with her and he followed. So
once it was tent for me to deliver the baby,
he said that his mom had the babies at home,
so I should be able to do the same. That
(19:22):
I didn't need a doctor, so he didn't want it
to take me to a doctor because he didn't want
no one to see me. And I was in labors
for three days in my house and once he went
to work because I started in labor on Friday, he
went to work on Monday, and my neighbor took me
(19:42):
to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Well, and your baby was actually pretty stressed out. I mean,
thankfully you made it there, you delivered, he was healthy.
You several years later had justin Now, why was it.
I know the you wanted siblings.
Speaker 8 (20:01):
You know you.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Wanted you know them to have each other in case
you were not around one day down the line, right,
But why was your husband not as happy as you
were about Justin?
Speaker 6 (20:17):
Because he didn't want it to have another kid. He
was just happy with Jacob. I wanted to have an
I was. I was the only child of my mom
and my dad, and when they got separated, I didn't
have no one, so everybody was doing their own life
and I was with myself. So my mom married and
had more kids that I didn't want. I wanted to have.
(20:37):
I would have loved to have someone with me, like
a sibling, and I wanted my kids to have that.
In he was not happy that I got pregnant again,
so that pregnancy was hell. It was he was always yelling,
I was screaming, always mad, and he didn't love that
(20:58):
child unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Well, and the truth is, his abuse really started to escalate.
And I don't know what was his obsession with knives.
Speaker 6 (21:13):
That was his way to control me. So if I
was if I was talking, or if I was laughing,
he would throw a knife and say that he didn't
allow me to do that. He will. He will just
shut me out. He would just throw the knife, like
to the wall or to something. I don't know. When
I explained this, it's kind of like have you gone
(21:35):
to the circus when the lady's there and then the
other guy is just throwing knives around, I said, look,
I don't know like that he would just throw knife
at me. And then I knew at that moment that
I have to be quiet. I cannot, I cannot say
nothing that contradicts him. So it was my house was
like walking on eggshelf, and I in my head it
(21:57):
was I just meet to do better so he can
be happy. I'm doing things wrong, so that's why he's
not happy. He never hit me, he never heard me
like physically. That's so it was. I guess in my
mind it was okay.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
And you did call the place that he would run,
And did that mean that they couldn't arrest him? Obviously
he wasn't there, So was it hard to document the abuse?
Speaker 6 (22:32):
No, So when he will yell and he will I
get so scared, I will call the police. Police show up.
They will have a report. And I think I did
that plenty of times in my family, My mom my
mom my aunts. All of them will get mad at
me because they said that I was embarrassing them. But
I was like, I'm scared, so I need to ask
(22:55):
for help and I will call the police. The record
will get there, but he will never to be sound
like he'll he knew. I will call police and he
will leave the house and come back like two days later.
But the reports that got in there, so thank God
because that helped me when when the really bad stuff happened.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Well and and again, I I'm so sorry that you
went through this. I grew up some with some domestic
violence myself, and you know, it's it's unsettling, it's it's scary,
and you know, with somebody like that, it's a little
Jekyl and Hide. You never know on any given day
if they're going to be in a good mood or
a bad mood. Stay with us, Rosie, because there's more,
(23:41):
obviously to your story, and for anybody listening today, if
you are going through a similar situation to Rosie, please,
you know, reach out to your local hotline.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
You are welcome to reach out to us.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
We want to make sure you get stuff fort and
stay safe.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
We'll be right back after this break.
Speaker 7 (24:03):
Today.
Speaker 17 (24:04):
In school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I learned
that no one likes me. In English, I learned that
I'm disgusting, And in Physics, I learned that I'm a loser.
Speaker 18 (24:16):
Today, in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim, I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
Today.
Speaker 9 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch,
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 17 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 19 (24:42):
And in math I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 17 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 11 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 19 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the ad Council.
Speaker 20 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward Slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 21 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, That's who.
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov slash Kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 22 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 14 (27:04):
It's slipping coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 21 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 5 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner. I get it,
flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
(27:30):
with a monitor.
Speaker 18 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 11 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 10 (27:36):
Yeah, it's slipping coffit check, cop to doctor, KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure self monitoring
is power. Learn more at manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfollout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Welcome back. I'm Nancy Solarian.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
This is the Living Full Out Show, and today we're
talking about being strong, but that's hard to do when
you're being abused. And our inspirational guest today, Rosapiah, is
a great example of what it means to be patient
yet assertive when dealing with an abuser. And so i'd
like to welcome Rosie back to the show.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Hi, thank you, Yeah, thank you, And I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
I wish we were talking about something like you won
the lottery and tell me how you spent the money,
you know, But the truth is, you know you have
one a certain lottery in the way that you have
too beautiful kids. You just had to go through a
lot over these years with his husband. But as we
jump back into your story, you know, it's unimaginable him
(29:12):
throwing knives at you, number one, but let alone trying
to choke you, let alone trying to you know, he
even set your apartment on fire, you know, when he
thought you would be there, in an attempt to kill you.
He would taunt you by sharpening a machete, you know,
in front of you, even when your kids were sleeping
(29:34):
right beside you.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
I mean, the ways that.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
He would taunt you and torture you, just even emotionally,
is very unsettling. Now. I want to give a lot
of credit though, to the fact that you were able
to make your way twice, but the first time to
a shelter for several months and then the second time
(29:57):
for a year. And in that shelter you were able
to learn English. You know, you were able to learn
certain skills. But just every time you felt like he
was on his best behavior, you know, you quickly learned
he wasn't. And there was a time it was Justin's birthday.
(30:21):
Can you tell us what happened there?
Speaker 6 (30:25):
So this one was after my divorce. He just find
out that I was I went to the shelter the
first time they helped me with my divorce, and I
left the shelter and I was at my mom's house
and it was just since birthday. It was like ten
(30:45):
people in my house, everybody celebrating the baby's birthday. Justin
is the youngest one, the one that he didn't love.
So all these people were sleeping in my house or
in my mom's house, and he came in the middle
of the night. We didn't hear him. He just went
through the window and kidnapped my three year old son.
(31:10):
It was the worst thing that ever happened because you
wake up. My mom woke me up at five am.
I asked me where my kid was. I remember looking
inside of the refrigerator, by look inside of the washer,
the dryer, like I was looking everywhere. When we have
to call police and tell them that my son was gone,
(31:30):
it was it was the worst. It was the worst
thing that happened to me. I can say that I
think their views was bad, but that just having my
son gone it was unbearable.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Well, you know that must have just been so scary,
and I mean, he was so bold to take Justin
when he was even sleeping right beside Jacob. It's almost
surprising he didn't take Jacob, the son he loved.
Speaker 6 (32:00):
Because I knew he was not going to do nothing
to Jacob. He loved Jacob, so he took the kid
that knew I was going to be more worried about.
So when he called my house, when he called my
house requesting or yeah, asking for me to go and
(32:20):
meet him, to get my to get my son, or
he knew I was going to do like I was
going to do everything for Jacob too. Don't get me wrong,
but I knew Jacob was going to be safe. I didn't.
I couldn't say anything like. I was so worried for
Justin because he didn't like, he didn't love that kid,
he didn't want it that child. So I was very,
(32:43):
very worried.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Well, thankfully, when he did call, your phone was being traced. Thankfully,
one thing led to another. They did find your ex husband.
They did ultimately find Justin. Justin was okay, Like, thankfully
it all worked out, But there's many stories and parents
who don't have that same outcome. So you know, I'm
(33:06):
so glad for you that worked out as you navigated
you know, all these times of abuse. How important was
your faith to you in getting through that.
Speaker 6 (33:21):
I remember when when everything was everything was happening, like
my faith was very strong that. I remember when my
son was taking that I always said that I will
never survive that. And if a war from the Bible
came into my head and it was like God will
never give you anything that you cannot handle, that he
(33:42):
will always prepare the way for you to be able
to pass that. That came to my mind, and that
has been always my motto, like if anything is happening
to me, is the God. God knows that I'm strong,
strong enough that I will be able to survive.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
And you are strong. Yeah, you are very strong.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I mean I mean teeny voice, maybe not the loudest
person in the room, but I got to tell you
you are very strong to get through all that. I
know that you've since learned that your ex husband was killed.
He's passed away now and you have remarried, And I
think that's great you let your heart love again. But
(34:29):
that hasn't come with its own growing pains. In what
ways do you still have triggers or in the early
dating with your husband now, how hard was that to
let go of the behaviors that you had kind of
your new routines.
Speaker 6 (34:47):
So I remember one of the first daid with my
now new husband. We were at the park and I
left my phone in the park and we drove away
in then I figure out my phone that I left
it in the park. So I was like, I'm so sorry,
I need to come back, and I'm like I was
driving and I was like apologizing so many times, and
(35:08):
he looked at me and he's like, RUSSA relaxed. It's like,
it's just a phone. If you loose, if you lose it,
we just buy another one. And I remember looking at
him and in my head, I was like, you're not
going to be yelling at me. You're not going to
be telling me how dumb I am. You're not good.
I look at him and I was like so surprised,
(35:28):
and I was like, okay, well, I'm like I'm relaxed.
And every time I like still now it's it's it's
a little bit unsettling. I'm getting more used to. But
it was like if I go out with my friends,
I'm always shaking my phone making sure that he's not
man making sure that he like, I'm like, okay, he's
going to respect me together. Sometimes he's going to be
(35:50):
yelling at me and you know he's nothing. He's like,
you have fun this and there. It's very hard to
get used to after so many years of abuse when
that person will yell at you for any little things
that you do, and then coming to a healthy relationship,
(36:10):
it's it is, it is hard to adjust. But I
think it's PTZ. I don't know, it's it's it's just
matte little things that happened during the life and then
you look just to make sure that everything will be
okay and the other person to study. Then it's not
even crussing their minds all the scenarios that are in
my head.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
It's yeah, you know, there's it is so hard, and
you know, there's a lot of men and women that
have to stay because financially, maybe the abuser is the
one that pays the bills or you know, they're they're
taunted with I'm going to hurt your family.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
I mean your.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Ex husband even shot the dog in front of you,
you know, to show his power. And you know, for
the audience listening today and someone who is going through
this what what advice would you have for them in
how to consider leaving or how to even process the
(37:09):
fact that they are being abused, because again, you didn't
believe it, you didn't think it was.
Speaker 6 (37:13):
You, correct. I. When I got to the shelter the
first time, they gave me a questionnay, And they asked
like a hundred questions and those are the different type
of abuse, and I got all of them except to
so I was having all type of abuse except the
(37:33):
physical abuse. For me, domestic violence was just a physical abuse.
I was not aware of everything else, and you let
all that happen. I got a question one time that
they said why you say, Well, you say, because now
it is your way of living. This is this is
(37:55):
the way that you know like you've been in that
situation for so long that you think it's normal until
you know that it's not. But there is so many resources.
It's not easy. It is really really hard, really really
humbling to go and ask for help, just to leave
that situation and start again. I was twenty four years old.
(38:18):
I was having a five in a eighteen month old baby.
I didn't have when I left my house. The only
thing that I grabbed with me was very certificate Social
Security and a bag of diapers in a baby bottle.
That's it. I didn't have nothing else. The shelters and
(38:39):
the services that they provide, they provide you with absolutely
everything you're going to need until you can go and
be on your own. It's a lot of counseling, a
lot of a lot of stuff that you have to do,
but it's worth it. It just saved your life and
you start being independent and being able to provide for
(39:02):
your kids. But it's not an easy road. It's it's
it's a lot of work, a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
I am so proud of you and now with this
new love in your life, your new husband right the
kids are safe, You're safe. What does living full out
mean to you?
Speaker 6 (39:23):
It took me so long to be where I am
right now, where I am just happy to be with
this person, just happy to enjoy my life, being able
to do what I like without being yell, without being
without being what humiliated. It's it was like a second
(39:51):
How did I say, there's.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
A second, second chance?
Speaker 6 (39:54):
Yes, a second chance in this world for me, and
I'm planning on I'm enjoying it and continue being strong
and helping other people. If my being on talking to
you or on TV, whatever it is, if I can
help one person, I've done I've done my job. I
(40:18):
think that I was able to survive this so I
can help other people and just doing that gives me
so much happiness.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Well, you are doing it, and thank you so much
for being on today's show and sharing your story, having
that voice and making that difference. So thank you for
being on the show. And again for anybody listening, please
make sure that you contact your local shelter if you
are being abused as well. Again, she said, there's so
(40:48):
many resources to help you get back your independence, your confidence.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
And we want that for you as well.
Speaker 23 (40:54):
Stay with us.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 13 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months,
they're combining vowels and consonants talk, by nine months they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months
(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, man,
especially if there's no babbling at all. Little to no
babbling by twelve months or later is just one of
the possible signs of autism and children early screening and
intervention can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a
(41:49):
world of possibilities. Take the first step at Autism Speaks
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
Autism Speaks and the Aduncil.
Speaker 24 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 11 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 24 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin. UVB rays burn, and both
cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't count if you
use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day wrong,
eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope, anytime you're outside
(42:41):
UB rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information.
A message from the US Food and Drug Admans.
Speaker 23 (43:01):
Right now Our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 12 (43:06):
I gotta tell you, I was nervous to talk to
someone so different than me.
Speaker 8 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.
Speaker 23 (43:12):
Love has No Labels and One Small Step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation. And it feels good.
Speaker 7 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 10 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 23 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash one small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation of your own.
Speaker 8 (43:42):
I know one thing.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 23 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation. At Love has
No Labels dot com slash one Small Step. A message
from story Core, Love has No Labels and the ad Council.
Speaker 6 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 8 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand, I'm planning
that tree you remember.
Speaker 7 (44:10):
No matter how large or small your digging project may be.
No matter how urban or rural, you must always call
eight one one before any digging project. Eight one to
one is our national one call number, alerting your local
utility companies to come out and mark any lines they
have near your dig site. You must call eight one
(44:32):
to one at least two to three business days before
any digging project so you can avoid hitting our essential
buried utilities. This includes natural gas and petroleum pipelines, electra
communication cables, and water and sewer lines. So before you
do this or this, make sure you do this. For
(44:54):
digging projects big or small, make the call to eight
one to one. Brought to you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to being strong, it's not just those
physical muscles, it's the mental muscles.
Speaker 3 (45:08):
You have to work them out. You have to think.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
About ways in which you can grow, expand and get strong,
because truly knowledge is power.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
But when you go out.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
There and you're strong in your mind, you've got a
great will, you've got a vigor and a hunger to
make a difference in the world. You're going to go
out there and do it. You're going to live full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to living full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy,
(45:57):
Welcome back.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
I'm Nancyslari and this is the Living Full Out Show.
And today we've been talking about being strong and that's
going to be different for everybody you know. For me,
as many of you know, I'm legally blind. I've written
I just pigmentosa. So for me, I have to be
mentally strong. I mean, after all, I can't see the world,
(46:18):
so my mind has to fill it in. My mind
has to memorize a lot of things, do a little
bit of calculated guessing of a lot of things. Obviously
utilize my other senses. But the truth is, depending on
if you're dealing with a heartbreak, abusive relationship, or a loss,
(46:38):
or a health issue cancer, blindness, diabetes, whatever that may be,
it's being strong both mentally and physically that we need
to get through those hard times. And I know I
trust me. I love Mountain Dew, I love it, I
love sugar I love it. I love burgers, I love
(47:01):
all the things that are naughty and probably unhealthy, wine,
you name it. But I also know that I have
to drink water. I know that I have to work out.
I know that I have to eat spinach, not just
to make Popeye proud, but literally to be strong. And
the truth is, you don't want to get to a
(47:23):
place where you're needing to be strong. You've got a
health issue, you're stressed out, the world is crumbling around you.
That's not when all of a sudden you break into
a diet. That's not when all of a sudden you're like,
I'm going to train for a marathon.
Speaker 3 (47:41):
It might be.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
I mean, there's a lot of people that go from
the depths of a rock bottom moment to their greatest achievements,
But for most of us, when we hit that moment,
we tend to go to even deeper.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
You know.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
It's like that old saying misery loves company. Right. I
want you to be mentally and physically strong, not you know,
waiting for the next shoe to drop, not assuming bad
things are going to come at you in your future,
but so that you can be ready just in case, Right,
(48:16):
I mean I live in California earthquake country, right, and
if something should happen, it's gonna be me, my chihuahua,
my guide dog, and whatever I can carry, because you know,
as a blind person, I don't drive, I don't have
a car.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
I'll be running for.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
The hills on my feet. And the truth is I'll
have to be physically ready when that next big one comes.
You know, at the end of the day, my mom
is my best friend, love her, but I know that
there will be a day that she's not here and
that will be one of the.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
Biggest heartbreaks of my life.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
And I have to make sure that my heart is strong,
my mind is strong that I can weather that life storm.
And so if it's going to be again different for
all of us what we encounter. That is kind of
one of the most interesting things about life is we
don't all have it the same, similar but different.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
But you just want to be ready.
Speaker 16 (49:14):
Now.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
It's also not just about me. It's also not just
about you. It's about looking at others in your life
and picking them up, helping them to be strong, because
there are some people that just are not strong willed,
they don't have that motivational spirit they don't even have
(49:35):
the ability to see what they can't see. And so
you have an opportunity today to kind of assess all
the people in your life.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Are they okay? Are they not okay? Have you not
talked to them while?
Speaker 2 (49:48):
Should you check in with them wellness check and be
strong for other people? That is a huge gift because
to go out there and be I'll look at me,
I'm living full out.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
My life is great, I'm healthy, I'm strong.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Right, that's great, and that's very inspiring for you. But
nobody gets to that mountain top by themselves. It's very
lonely to do that.
Speaker 3 (50:13):
Trust me.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
I've interviewed a lot of Mount Everest climbers and some
who got to the top by themselves, and it wasn't
as grand as if they had had others with them.
So the life journey is not as grand if you
get to the end of it and everything worked out
for you, but others fumbled and bumbled and stumbled. You
want to make sure that you be a source of
(50:35):
strength for them.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
And how do you do that.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
You listen, you pick up the phone, you drive by,
you meet with them in person, you go to their house.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
You know it's funny.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
How if we all had glass houses, right, if we
could just see how each person is living. So many
people out in the world, I'm great, life is super.
But in the four wall, so they're home, they've got
a drinking problem, they're depressed, they're crying, they're lonely, and
so sometimes it's not just a phone call. Sometimes it's
(51:10):
going to them just making sure they're okay. Just don't
check in. But let today be the day that you
are the hero for them. But you also look at
yourself and say, gosh, I am strong.
Speaker 3 (51:24):
I can do this, I can.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Get through whatever is holding me down.
Speaker 3 (51:28):
I can get past this.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
I know. You can make sure that beyond today's show, though,
that you pay this episode forward. It's such an important topic,
you know, being strong, overcoming abuse and being a hero
for someone else. So do share this episode in all
of our Living Full Out shows with others in your
life so they can be inspired. Remember to go to
(51:52):
the Living Full Out Show app and the app store
download that so that you can be inspired at any
time you need us. And most of all the entire
Living Full Out.
Speaker 3 (52:01):
Family, We've got Dirk and Brent and so many.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Here that just want to make sure that you are
truly living.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
Your best life.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
It is time to tell the worries, the insecurities, the
what it could have shut us.
Speaker 3 (52:14):
To step away, step back, move aside.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
There's a new sheriff in town, and you.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
Are living full out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to the Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfullout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Silari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Silari, and today I'm talking about being
strong in life.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
So sometimes I know it's easier said than done. We
feel insecure, we feel defeated, and sometimes just we're dealing
with health issues and we're not our strongest selves. But
you can be mentally strong, not just physically strong, and
oftentimes we need to to get through life hurdles to
get to the other side. So we're going to be
(00:49):
talking about different variations of that. We're going to be
also joined by our inspirational guest Rosa Parrock coming up shortly,
and her story of domestic violence and how she got
through that and how she had to be strong. It's
very touching actually and really hits close to home for me,
which I'll share with you as well. And most of all,
we want to make sure that you were always inspired,
(01:12):
that you have the motivation when you need us most.
So remember to go to the app store get the
Living Full Out Show app. Listen to us anytime, and
most of all, we really love hearing from you. Make
sure you reach out to us at connect at livingfullout
dot com with any resources you may need or just
you know, other advice or even suggestions of inspirational guests.
(01:33):
We truly love.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Hearing from you.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Now I'm getting word from our producer that we do
a listener on the line. Let's go check in with them. Hello,
welcome to The Living Full Out Show.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Hi, my name is Sophia. Hi, how can I help you?
Nice to meet you.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
So, my question is what advice would you have for
someone who's trying to balance all the demands of school
while also planning for my professionals future, especially when it
feels very overwhelming to manage both at once.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So I get it, But what is what is the
most stressful part of your life right now? Is it
more school or is it more life pressures?
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Probably just the pressure of planning a career.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And when you think about planning your career and you
think about it being something that's done, done, done done right.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
It's heavy, it's stressful, and I get it. It can be.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I oftentimes think about, Wow, I'm so glad that I
graduated way back when, because it is hard. Now there's
remote working, people can get hired anywhere in the world,
a lot of competition. So is it the competition that
stresses you out? Is it will I ever find a job?
(02:59):
Or is it just all it takes to get there?
Speaker 4 (03:04):
More of if Like, I'm hoping that I will find
a job eventually, So it's if I find a job. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Now, what is it that you want to do.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
I want to become a medical professional of some sort,
So either go to PA school or become a nurse.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Now I want to give you a little bit of coaching. Okay, Okay,
So not that you're in an interview right now, but
you have to change the languaging because a minute ago
you said, I hope I find a job. If I
find a job. Now, I'm not going to go FUO
(03:49):
on you here, but I'm just saying you're speaking to
the universe, lack worry, not sure, okay. And what you
always want to remember is you can be in a
class of thirty five students, two hundred students, every college,
(04:10):
every university around the country.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
And the world.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
But there's only one you. Nobody thinks the way you do.
No one has the heart you do. Now, people might
have similar traits the you, but they're not you. So
your quest is to learn, you know, the technical right
of all the things you need to do to do
what you want to do down the line. But really
(04:35):
your quest is to get clarity what makes you unique,
special and different. So, for an example, am I the
only radio show, podcast TV host.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
In the world?
Speaker 5 (04:52):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Am I the only blind visually impaired actually.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
In the world. That's also a no. But does mine
work differently?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Might I have different ways that I prep for shows,
interview guests, give coaching that's different than somebody else.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
That would be a yes.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
So you have to think about what makes you different
and take that on. And sometimes the best way to
do that is to look around you. Sure you've got
great friends all in the same you know, courses that
you're in, look at that as a snapshot and see
(05:39):
how you are different than them. And then so rather
than coming into looking for a job with a hope
and an if, it's more of a when and I
can when I become an X, Y and Z, I
will help people in this way.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Now, the other thing I want you to think about.
So back when I was in real estate, I was
taught something in a course that always stayed with me,
and that was when you're in like on a plane
ride and you're sitting next to the person next to
you and there's.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
That chit chat of what do you do? What do
you do? Right?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I could say, oh, I'm a real estate agent, or
I could say I could paint the picture. Well, I
so somebody says what do you do? Instead of saying
I'm a realtor, I could say, well, I actually help
first time home buyers find their first home and kind
of weather that storm of the nerves and you know,
(06:44):
buying something that they have to fix up. And so
I tell a story. I paint a picture. So rather
than just being what you do being a medical professional,
paint that picture. So if I were to ask you
in the future, what will you be doing?
Speaker 3 (07:05):
What is that picture? What will you be doing.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Helping people, making a difference in people's.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Lives and yeah, and how might you do that?
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Are you going to give a medication? Are you gonna
get them to be.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Active and do exercises.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Are you gonna what are you gonna do?
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Yeah, I'm gonna provide them with medication, advise them what
to do after they come out of the office.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Helping them with nutrition, maybe.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Provide them with Yeah, and you help that they need mm.
Speaker 7 (07:48):
Hm Taylor the.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Tailor to their needs exactly. So here's where I'm getting at.
It took a long time to get here, but the
truth is, on your next plane ride, that could be
someone that hires you.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 8 (08:05):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
And so rather than being a student, you are already
that professional. And you want to speak with color, speak
with a story of what you do.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
So in time it becomes less of I hope and
I wonder if and it becomes more of this is
what I do and this is why I'm unique, special
and different. And when you do that, that person is
going to be in awe because they're going to feel it.
(08:41):
They're going to be like, wow, I can feel this
person's passion.
Speaker 9 (08:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
So before we leave the call today, so tell me
what is it that you want to do.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
I'm going to become a medical professional and I'm going
to help people, provide them with any needs tailored to them.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Okay, and you actually already know some of this stuff already,
don't you. Like you're not in the job, you're not
getting paid for it, but you kind of like already
know some of it, right, Yeah, so you could even
take out I'm going to become and I already am. Okay, okay,
(09:25):
So now what are you?
Speaker 4 (09:28):
I am a medical professional?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Mm hmmm. And what do you do if I'm sitting
next to you on a plane and I've got, you know,
parents that need caregiving, I've got a little niece.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
What do you do for people?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
I help everyone and tailored to their needs and just
provide education and help for anyone in need.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Absolutely, And if you were to listen back to this
show and you were to hear yourself say all that,
I think you would find it inspiring. And then the
quest is to break it down even more.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
How do you educate people? How do you help people?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
And the more you can bring that to life, the
more you can tell that story, the more hirable you
will be.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Do you see that?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Okay, yeah, okay, all right, torture is over. But go
out there and tell your story because that is your
calling card. That will be what makes you and separates
you from others.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Thank you for calling in.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
And thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
You're welcome. And she is strong in the spirit of
today's show talking about being strong, she's strong. She's going
to do this and so can you. So we'll be
right back after this break with Rosa Para.
Speaker 10 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts. See,
that's why it's important to be at our strongest. Every year,
(11:46):
millions of people in the US get the flu, especially now.
No one has time to miss out on moments that matter.
So get your flu shot. Find out more and get
my flu shot dot org. Brought to you by the
ama CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 11 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 8 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 11 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 8 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 11 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 8 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.
Speaker 12 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 11 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 12 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
Prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 8 (12:43):
Warning the cap is loose on that cat. Young.
Speaker 11 (12:47):
Oh don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have Prediabetes dot Org? Today? That's do
I have Prediabetes dot Org?
Speaker 12 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes Awareness partners.
Speaker 10 (13:00):
Hehu, oh brah, that's buzzed. Oh yeah yeah, he's starting
with the woots.
Speaker 13 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 14 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 12 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying when it's time to go home, somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Love that guy.
Speaker 8 (13:21):
Me too.
Speaker 12 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.
Speaker 11 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message FROMNITZA and the
AD Council.
Speaker 15 (13:29):
True, You're out, You got me Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 16 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's nfamilyfire dot Org. Brought to you by n Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council.
Speaker 15 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the.
Speaker 14 (14:05):
Lingo Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
Unicorn phone case.
Speaker 15 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Clary As
a life coach. Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You can ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
I'm Nancy Silari and this is the Living Full Out Show,
and we are talking today about being strong in life
and sometimes that it's really hard to do and we
are tested beyond what we even think we can survive.
And Rosa Pata is a great example of just how
you get through times where you just you just have
(15:56):
to do with a lot of faith and hope and
really resources that got her out of a scary domestic
violence relationship to a place of safety. So welcome Rosa.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
To the show.
Speaker 6 (16:09):
Hi, thank you, so.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Happy to have you here.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
And I know when you were growing up, you know,
you were such a good child, really a good girl.
And your mom though, she kind of had you all,
all of you kiddos, living in environments where there were
different men coming and going. You know, some she married,
some were boyfriends, some were inappropriate truly to you and
(16:37):
your siblings, and that just kind of left you all
very scared and unsettled, you know, in your early and
teenage years. And when you decided one day that you
were going to get married, you were going to have
a significant, long term relationship, it was going to be forever.
And you didn't realize though, that forever was going to
(17:00):
come at nineteen. Why did you get married so young?
Speaker 6 (17:06):
Because my mom was going to be moving out of
the country where I was living. That it was Mexico,
and I didn't want it to come to the United States,
so I wanted to stay there with my friends and
the people that I know. So I decided to get married.
And this guy was nice and loving and caring. So
(17:28):
I was like, Okay, I'm going to get married at nineteen.
This is going to be my forever and that's that
was my plans.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Well, and you know it's it's it's good until it
isn't right, correct, And when you signed that marriage certificate.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
You were all in this was forever.
Speaker 12 (17:48):
But it was.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Really like night and day next day that it wasn't.
What were the early signs that you knew you were
in trouble.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
So as soon as the wedding ended the next I
will say the next two days, he threw up all
my clothes. He said that since I was now married,
I was supposed to dress differently when I was supposed
to wear his clothes. So I was not able to
(18:19):
go see my friends because I was a merry woman.
So all my friends I was nineteen and what all
my friends were single, So that was not a good example.
I cannot go up by myself, I cannot talk to
no one that he didn't allow and all that was
just because he was teaching me how to be a
good wife.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Well, Rosie, I think you're pretty great as you are,
and I'm sorry that it switched on you like that
and you ended up having your first son, Jacob. But
even that, as happy as he was to be having
a son, he made that even difficult for you.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
The labor.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
So because when by that time I was in the
United States, my mom moved here and I came to visit.
I decided to stay with her and he followed. So
once it was tent for me to deliver the baby,
he said that his mom had the babies at home,
so I should be able to do the same. That
(19:22):
I didn't need a doctor, so he didn't want it
to take me to a doctor because he didn't want
no one to see me. And I was in labors
for three days in my house and once he went
to work because I started in labor on Friday, he
went to work on Monday, and my neighbor took me
(19:42):
to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Well, and your baby was actually pretty stressed out. I mean,
thankfully you made it there, you delivered, he was healthy.
You several years later had justin Now, why was it.
I know the you wanted siblings.
Speaker 8 (20:01):
You know you.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Wanted you know them to have each other in case
you were not around one day down the line, right,
But why was your husband not as happy as you
were about Justin?
Speaker 6 (20:17):
Because he didn't want it to have another kid. He
was just happy with Jacob. I wanted to have an
I was. I was the only child of my mom
and my dad, and when they got separated, I didn't
have no one, so everybody was doing their own life
and I was with myself. So my mom married and
had more kids that I didn't want. I wanted to have.
(20:37):
I would have loved to have someone with me, like
a sibling, and I wanted my kids to have that.
In he was not happy that I got pregnant again,
so that pregnancy was hell. It was he was always yelling,
I was screaming, always mad, and he didn't love that
(20:58):
child unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Well, and the truth is, his abuse really started to escalate.
And I don't know what was his obsession with knives.
Speaker 6 (21:13):
That was his way to control me. So if I
was if I was talking, or if I was laughing,
he would throw a knife and say that he didn't
allow me to do that. He will. He will just
shut me out. He would just throw the knife, like
to the wall or to something. I don't know. When
I explained this, it's kind of like have you gone
(21:35):
to the circus when the lady's there and then the
other guy is just throwing knives around, I said, look,
I don't know like that he would just throw knife
at me. And then I knew at that moment that
I have to be quiet. I cannot, I cannot say
nothing that contradicts him. So it was my house was
like walking on eggshelf, and I in my head it
(21:57):
was I just meet to do better so he can
be happy. I'm doing things wrong, so that's why he's
not happy. He never hit me, he never heard me
like physically. That's so it was. I guess in my
mind it was okay.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
And you did call the place that he would run,
And did that mean that they couldn't arrest him? Obviously
he wasn't there, So was it hard to document the abuse?
Speaker 6 (22:32):
No, So when he will yell and he will I
get so scared, I will call the police. Police show up.
They will have a report. And I think I did
that plenty of times in my family, My mom my
mom my aunts. All of them will get mad at
me because they said that I was embarrassing them. But
I was like, I'm scared, so I need to ask
(22:55):
for help and I will call the police. The record
will get there, but he will never to be sound
like he'll he knew. I will call police and he
will leave the house and come back like two days later.
But the reports that got in there, so thank God
because that helped me when when the really bad stuff happened.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Well and and again, I I'm so sorry that you
went through this. I grew up some with some domestic
violence myself, and you know, it's it's unsettling, it's it's scary,
and you know, with somebody like that, it's a little
Jekyl and Hide. You never know on any given day
if they're going to be in a good mood or
a bad mood. Stay with us, Rosie, because there's more,
(23:41):
obviously to your story, and for anybody listening today, if
you are going through a similar situation to Rosie, please,
you know, reach out to your local hotline.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
You are welcome to reach out to us.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
We want to make sure you get stuff fort and
stay safe.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
We'll be right back after this break.
Speaker 7 (24:03):
Today.
Speaker 17 (24:04):
In school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I learned
that no one likes me. In English, I learned that
I'm disgusting, And in Physics, I learned that I'm a loser.
Speaker 18 (24:16):
Today, in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim, I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
Today.
Speaker 9 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch,
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 17 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 19 (24:42):
And in math I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 17 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 11 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 19 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the ad Council.
Speaker 20 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward Slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 21 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, That's who.
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov slash Kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 22 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 14 (27:04):
It's slipping coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 21 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 5 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner. I get it,
flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
(27:30):
with a monitor.
Speaker 18 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 11 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 10 (27:36):
Yeah, it's slipping coffit check, cop to doctor, KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure self monitoring
is power. Learn more at manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at livingfollout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Welcome back. I'm Nancy Solarian.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
This is the Living Full Out Show, and today we're
talking about being strong, but that's hard to do when
you're being abused. And our inspirational guest today, Rosapiah, is
a great example of what it means to be patient
yet assertive when dealing with an abuser. And so i'd
like to welcome Rosie back to the show.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Hi, thank you, Yeah, thank you, And I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
I wish we were talking about something like you won
the lottery and tell me how you spent the money,
you know, But the truth is, you know you have
one a certain lottery in the way that you have
too beautiful kids. You just had to go through a
lot over these years with his husband. But as we
jump back into your story, you know, it's unimaginable him
(29:12):
throwing knives at you, number one, but let alone trying
to choke you, let alone trying to you know, he
even set your apartment on fire, you know, when he
thought you would be there, in an attempt to kill you.
He would taunt you by sharpening a machete, you know,
in front of you, even when your kids were sleeping
(29:34):
right beside you.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
I mean, the ways that.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
He would taunt you and torture you, just even emotionally,
is very unsettling. Now. I want to give a lot
of credit though, to the fact that you were able
to make your way twice, but the first time to
a shelter for several months and then the second time
(29:57):
for a year. And in that shelter you were able
to learn English. You know, you were able to learn
certain skills. But just every time you felt like he
was on his best behavior, you know, you quickly learned
he wasn't. And there was a time it was Justin's birthday.
(30:21):
Can you tell us what happened there?
Speaker 6 (30:25):
So this one was after my divorce. He just find
out that I was I went to the shelter the
first time they helped me with my divorce, and I
left the shelter and I was at my mom's house
and it was just since birthday. It was like ten
(30:45):
people in my house, everybody celebrating the baby's birthday. Justin
is the youngest one, the one that he didn't love.
So all these people were sleeping in my house or
in my mom's house, and he came in the middle
of the night. We didn't hear him. He just went
through the window and kidnapped my three year old son.
(31:10):
It was the worst thing that ever happened because you
wake up. My mom woke me up at five am.
I asked me where my kid was. I remember looking
inside of the refrigerator, by look inside of the washer,
the dryer, like I was looking everywhere. When we have
to call police and tell them that my son was gone,
(31:30):
it was it was the worst. It was the worst
thing that happened to me. I can say that I
think their views was bad, but that just having my
son gone it was unbearable.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Well, you know that must have just been so scary,
and I mean, he was so bold to take Justin
when he was even sleeping right beside Jacob. It's almost
surprising he didn't take Jacob, the son he loved.
Speaker 6 (32:00):
Because I knew he was not going to do nothing
to Jacob. He loved Jacob, so he took the kid
that knew I was going to be more worried about.
So when he called my house, when he called my
house requesting or yeah, asking for me to go and
(32:20):
meet him, to get my to get my son, or
he knew I was going to do like I was
going to do everything for Jacob too. Don't get me wrong,
but I knew Jacob was going to be safe. I didn't.
I couldn't say anything like. I was so worried for
Justin because he didn't like, he didn't love that kid,
he didn't want it that child. So I was very,
(32:43):
very worried.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Well, thankfully, when he did call, your phone was being traced. Thankfully,
one thing led to another. They did find your ex husband.
They did ultimately find Justin. Justin was okay, Like, thankfully
it all worked out, But there's many stories and parents
who don't have that same outcome. So you know, I'm
(33:06):
so glad for you that worked out as you navigated
you know, all these times of abuse. How important was
your faith to you in getting through that.
Speaker 6 (33:21):
I remember when when everything was everything was happening, like
my faith was very strong that. I remember when my
son was taking that I always said that I will
never survive that. And if a war from the Bible
came into my head and it was like God will
never give you anything that you cannot handle, that he
(33:42):
will always prepare the way for you to be able
to pass that. That came to my mind, and that
has been always my motto, like if anything is happening
to me, is the God. God knows that I'm strong,
strong enough that I will be able to survive.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
And you are strong. Yeah, you are very strong.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I mean I mean teeny voice, maybe not the loudest
person in the room, but I got to tell you
you are very strong to get through all that. I
know that you've since learned that your ex husband was killed.
He's passed away now and you have remarried, And I
think that's great you let your heart love again. But
(34:29):
that hasn't come with its own growing pains. In what
ways do you still have triggers or in the early
dating with your husband now, how hard was that to
let go of the behaviors that you had kind of
your new routines.
Speaker 6 (34:47):
So I remember one of the first daid with my
now new husband. We were at the park and I
left my phone in the park and we drove away
in then I figure out my phone that I left
it in the park. So I was like, I'm so sorry,
I need to come back, and I'm like I was
driving and I was like apologizing so many times, and
(35:08):
he looked at me and he's like, RUSSA relaxed. It's like,
it's just a phone. If you loose, if you lose it,
we just buy another one. And I remember looking at
him and in my head, I was like, you're not
going to be yelling at me. You're not going to
be telling me how dumb I am. You're not good.
I look at him and I was like so surprised,
(35:28):
and I was like, okay, well, I'm like I'm relaxed.
And every time I like still now it's it's it's
a little bit unsettling. I'm getting more used to. But
it was like if I go out with my friends,
I'm always shaking my phone making sure that he's not
man making sure that he like, I'm like, okay, he's
going to respect me together. Sometimes he's going to be
(35:50):
yelling at me and you know he's nothing. He's like,
you have fun this and there. It's very hard to
get used to after so many years of abuse when
that person will yell at you for any little things
that you do, and then coming to a healthy relationship,
(36:10):
it's it is, it is hard to adjust. But I
think it's PTZ. I don't know, it's it's it's just
matte little things that happened during the life and then
you look just to make sure that everything will be
okay and the other person to study. Then it's not
even crussing their minds all the scenarios that are in
my head.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
It's yeah, you know, there's it is so hard, and
you know, there's a lot of men and women that
have to stay because financially, maybe the abuser is the
one that pays the bills or you know, they're they're
taunted with I'm going to hurt your family.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
I mean your.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Ex husband even shot the dog in front of you,
you know, to show his power. And you know, for
the audience listening today and someone who is going through
this what what advice would you have for them in
how to consider leaving or how to even process the
(37:09):
fact that they are being abused, because again, you didn't
believe it, you didn't think it was.
Speaker 6 (37:13):
You, correct. I. When I got to the shelter the
first time, they gave me a questionnay, And they asked
like a hundred questions and those are the different type
of abuse, and I got all of them except to
so I was having all type of abuse except the
(37:33):
physical abuse. For me, domestic violence was just a physical abuse.
I was not aware of everything else, and you let
all that happen. I got a question one time that
they said why you say, Well, you say, because now
it is your way of living. This is this is
(37:55):
the way that you know like you've been in that
situation for so long that you think it's normal until
you know that it's not. But there is so many resources.
It's not easy. It is really really hard, really really
humbling to go and ask for help, just to leave
that situation and start again. I was twenty four years old.
(38:18):
I was having a five in a eighteen month old baby.
I didn't have when I left my house. The only
thing that I grabbed with me was very certificate Social
Security and a bag of diapers in a baby bottle.
That's it. I didn't have nothing else. The shelters and
(38:39):
the services that they provide, they provide you with absolutely
everything you're going to need until you can go and
be on your own. It's a lot of counseling, a
lot of a lot of stuff that you have to do,
but it's worth it. It just saved your life and
you start being independent and being able to provide for
(39:02):
your kids. But it's not an easy road. It's it's
it's a lot of work, a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
I am so proud of you and now with this
new love in your life, your new husband right the
kids are safe, You're safe. What does living full out
mean to you?
Speaker 6 (39:23):
It took me so long to be where I am
right now, where I am just happy to be with
this person, just happy to enjoy my life, being able
to do what I like without being yell, without being
without being what humiliated. It's it was like a second
(39:51):
How did I say, there's.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
A second, second chance?
Speaker 6 (39:54):
Yes, a second chance in this world for me, and
I'm planning on I'm enjoying it and continue being strong
and helping other people. If my being on talking to
you or on TV, whatever it is, if I can
help one person, I've done I've done my job. I
(40:18):
think that I was able to survive this so I
can help other people and just doing that gives me
so much happiness.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Well, you are doing it, and thank you so much
for being on today's show and sharing your story, having
that voice and making that difference. So thank you for
being on the show. And again for anybody listening, please
make sure that you contact your local shelter if you
are being abused as well. Again, she said, there's so
(40:48):
many resources to help you get back your independence, your confidence.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
And we want that for you as well.
Speaker 23 (40:54):
Stay with us.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 13 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months,
they're combining vowels and consonants talk, by nine months they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months
(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, man,
especially if there's no babbling at all. Little to no
babbling by twelve months or later is just one of
the possible signs of autism and children early screening and
intervention can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a
(41:49):
world of possibilities. Take the first step at Autism Speaks
dot org, a public service announcement brought to you by
Autism Speaks and the Aduncil.
Speaker 24 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 11 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 24 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin. UVB rays burn, and both
cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't count if you
use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day wrong,
eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope, anytime you're outside
(42:41):
UB rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information.
A message from the US Food and Drug Admans.
Speaker 23 (43:01):
Right now Our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 12 (43:06):
I gotta tell you, I was nervous to talk to
someone so different than me.
Speaker 8 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.
Speaker 23 (43:12):
Love has No Labels and One Small Step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation. And it feels good.
Speaker 7 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 10 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 23 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash one small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation of your own.
Speaker 8 (43:42):
I know one thing.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 23 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation. At Love has
No Labels dot com slash one Small Step. A message
from story Core, Love has No Labels and the ad Council.
Speaker 6 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 8 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand, I'm planning
that tree you remember.
Speaker 7 (44:10):
No matter how large or small your digging project may be.
No matter how urban or rural, you must always call
eight one one before any digging project. Eight one to
one is our national one call number, alerting your local
utility companies to come out and mark any lines they
have near your dig site. You must call eight one
(44:32):
to one at least two to three business days before
any digging project so you can avoid hitting our essential
buried utilities. This includes natural gas and petroleum pipelines, electra
communication cables, and water and sewer lines. So before you
do this or this, make sure you do this. For
(44:54):
digging projects big or small, make the call to eight
one to one. Brought to you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to being strong, it's not just those
physical muscles, it's the mental muscles.
Speaker 3 (45:08):
You have to work them out. You have to think.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
About ways in which you can grow, expand and get strong,
because truly knowledge is power.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
But when you go out.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
There and you're strong in your mind, you've got a
great will, you've got a vigor and a hunger to
make a difference in the world. You're going to go
out there and do it. You're going to live full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to living full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy,
(45:57):
Welcome back.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
I'm Nancyslari and this is the Living Full Out Show.
And today we've been talking about being strong and that's
going to be different for everybody you know. For me,
as many of you know, I'm legally blind. I've written
I just pigmentosa. So for me, I have to be
mentally strong. I mean, after all, I can't see the world,
(46:18):
so my mind has to fill it in. My mind
has to memorize a lot of things, do a little
bit of calculated guessing of a lot of things. Obviously
utilize my other senses. But the truth is, depending on
if you're dealing with a heartbreak, abusive relationship, or a loss,
(46:38):
or a health issue cancer, blindness, diabetes, whatever that may be,
it's being strong both mentally and physically that we need
to get through those hard times. And I know I
trust me. I love Mountain Dew, I love it, I
love sugar I love it. I love burgers, I love
(47:01):
all the things that are naughty and probably unhealthy, wine,
you name it. But I also know that I have
to drink water. I know that I have to work out.
I know that I have to eat spinach, not just
to make Popeye proud, but literally to be strong. And
the truth is, you don't want to get to a
(47:23):
place where you're needing to be strong. You've got a
health issue, you're stressed out, the world is crumbling around you.
That's not when all of a sudden you break into
a diet. That's not when all of a sudden you're like,
I'm going to train for a marathon.
Speaker 3 (47:41):
It might be.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
I mean, there's a lot of people that go from
the depths of a rock bottom moment to their greatest achievements,
But for most of us, when we hit that moment,
we tend to go to even deeper.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
You know.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
It's like that old saying misery loves company. Right. I
want you to be mentally and physically strong, not you know,
waiting for the next shoe to drop, not assuming bad
things are going to come at you in your future,
but so that you can be ready just in case, Right,
(48:16):
I mean I live in California earthquake country, right, and
if something should happen, it's gonna be me, my chihuahua,
my guide dog, and whatever I can carry, because you know,
as a blind person, I don't drive, I don't have
a car.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
I'll be running for.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
The hills on my feet. And the truth is I'll
have to be physically ready when that next big one comes.
You know, at the end of the day, my mom
is my best friend, love her, but I know that
there will be a day that she's not here and
that will be one of the.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
Biggest heartbreaks of my life.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
And I have to make sure that my heart is strong,
my mind is strong that I can weather that life storm.
And so if it's going to be again different for
all of us what we encounter. That is kind of
one of the most interesting things about life is we
don't all have it the same, similar but different.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
But you just want to be ready.
Speaker 16 (49:14):
Now.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
It's also not just about me. It's also not just
about you. It's about looking at others in your life
and picking them up, helping them to be strong, because
there are some people that just are not strong willed,
they don't have that motivational spirit they don't even have
(49:35):
the ability to see what they can't see. And so
you have an opportunity today to kind of assess all
the people in your life.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Are they okay? Are they not okay? Have you not
talked to them while?
Speaker 2 (49:48):
Should you check in with them wellness check and be
strong for other people? That is a huge gift because
to go out there and be I'll look at me,
I'm living full out.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
My life is great, I'm healthy, I'm strong.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Right, that's great, and that's very inspiring for you. But
nobody gets to that mountain top by themselves. It's very
lonely to do that.
Speaker 3 (50:13):
Trust me.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
I've interviewed a lot of Mount Everest climbers and some
who got to the top by themselves, and it wasn't
as grand as if they had had others with them.
So the life journey is not as grand if you
get to the end of it and everything worked out
for you, but others fumbled and bumbled and stumbled. You
want to make sure that you be a source of
(50:35):
strength for them.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
And how do you do that.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
You listen, you pick up the phone, you drive by,
you meet with them in person, you go to their house.
Speaker 3 (50:46):
You know it's funny.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
How if we all had glass houses, right, if we
could just see how each person is living. So many
people out in the world, I'm great, life is super.
But in the four wall, so they're home, they've got
a drinking problem, they're depressed, they're crying, they're lonely, and
so sometimes it's not just a phone call. Sometimes it's
(51:10):
going to them just making sure they're okay. Just don't
check in. But let today be the day that you
are the hero for them. But you also look at
yourself and say, gosh, I am strong.
Speaker 3 (51:24):
I can do this, I can.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Get through whatever is holding me down.
Speaker 3 (51:28):
I can get past this.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
I know. You can make sure that beyond today's show, though,
that you pay this episode forward. It's such an important topic,
you know, being strong, overcoming abuse and being a hero
for someone else. So do share this episode in all
of our Living Full Out shows with others in your
life so they can be inspired. Remember to go to
(51:52):
the Living Full Out Show app and the app store
download that so that you can be inspired at any
time you need us. And most of all the entire
Living Full Out.
Speaker 3 (52:01):
Family, We've got Dirk and Brent and so many.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Here that just want to make sure that you are
truly living.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
Your best life.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
It is time to tell the worries, the insecurities, the
what it could have shut us.
Speaker 3 (52:14):
To step away, step back, move aside.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
There's a new sheriff in town, and you.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
Are living full out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to the Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfullout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
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