September 20, 2025 • 52 mins
Episode: 2025.11.31
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to follow your own truth. Maybe you're focused on others' opinions and it's difficult to know which path to follow. When you block out all the outside noise and listen to your feelings, it will guide you to become your true self. Join Nancy as she discusses by learning your inner truth, it will lead you to greater achievements.
Our first caller, Amy, wonders how to navigate difficult adult relationships with parents from past childhood issues. Nancy advises her to find ways to let out the anger or emotions from her childhood by writing a letter or going to counseling. This will allow her to set herself free of the past. Tune in to discover more tools to guide you to move forward in life.
Our inspirational guest, Alison Pena was able to follow her own truth by trusting herself. When her brother passed away from a genetic health condition, she was reminded what really mattered to her. After 25 years of marriage, Her husband passed away due to pancreatic cancer and she had to navigate life without him. Tune in to hear how these losses inspired her to be dedicated to helping others.
Perhaps you are feeling lost in the direction you're going in life. When you hone in on your own truth and what you want, it will set you free of the limitations holding you back. By truly listening to your dreams, you can begin to live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to follow your own truth. Maybe you're focused on others' opinions and it's difficult to know which path to follow. When you block out all the outside noise and listen to your feelings, it will guide you to become your true self. Join Nancy as she discusses by learning your inner truth, it will lead you to greater achievements.
Our first caller, Amy, wonders how to navigate difficult adult relationships with parents from past childhood issues. Nancy advises her to find ways to let out the anger or emotions from her childhood by writing a letter or going to counseling. This will allow her to set herself free of the past. Tune in to discover more tools to guide you to move forward in life.
Our inspirational guest, Alison Pena was able to follow her own truth by trusting herself. When her brother passed away from a genetic health condition, she was reminded what really mattered to her. After 25 years of marriage, Her husband passed away due to pancreatic cancer and she had to navigate life without him. Tune in to hear how these losses inspired her to be dedicated to helping others.
Perhaps you are feeling lost in the direction you're going in life. When you hone in on your own truth and what you want, it will set you free of the limitations holding you back. By truly listening to your dreams, you can begin to live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Silari, and today we're going to be
talking about following your own truth. And sometimes that comes
with a conviction or values that you may have. It
also may be you know, trusting your instincts, but letting
those guides lead you so that you are able to
(00:40):
have a truthful life and not live that life of regrets.
I also want to make sure you stay with us
because our inspirational guest, Alison Pina, really had to weather
those twists and turns and storms of life, you know,
in many ways, whether it be her career or the
loss of her husband or her brother. And again we'll
talk all about that, but I think you're going to
(01:02):
leap away from her her story really knowing that you
have that power, you have that ability to make those
decisions that work for you so that you can lift
your head up, hie. Very important. Also, I want to
make sure that you lean on listening to this show
again or any of our episodes if you are needing motivation,
(01:24):
because that is why we do this show. Whether you
go to the app store and download the Living Full
Out Show app, it's free, or whether you have an
Alex at home, you can listen to us that way,
or just go to our website. All the episodes are
waiting there for you. Now I am getting a word
from our producer that we do a listener on the line.
We're going to go say hello to them. Hello, welcome
(01:45):
to the Living Full Out Show. Hello, Hi, thank you
for Colleen. How can I help you?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
So?
Speaker 4 (01:51):
One of my questions was how do we navigate difficult
adult relationships with parents from kind of standing from past,
you know, difficulties. I'm sure we all have some difficulties
with our childhood and you know, as a as a
middle aged woman. Now, I guess that's I'm kind of
looking for some guidance on how to navigate some of that.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Oh boy, don't we wish we could just go back
in time and tell our parents to make better decisions right,
you know, wake up, right, do better? But we can't.
We kind of get the residual. And I'm sure even
in your own life, you've done the best you can,
but maybe a word you've said or an action you've
done landed on somebody else in a way that made
(02:36):
them may be sad or confused. You know, I think
we just all do the best we can. And I'm
with you because I am one of three daughters that
dealt with a family that went through divorce and our
dad made some bad, bad decisions. So I've seen even
in my own family how each person saw our childhood
(02:59):
was different. So when you look back on yours, which
parent is it that you're.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
Kind of having this resistance with, I would give mostly
my mother, just she was kind of emotionally.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Unavailable, never really admitted that she had anxiety. And I think,
you know, myself as a parent, as while looking back
on that, I realized kind of how detrimental that was
for my own emotional well being, and so, of course,
you know, looking to raise my children in a different way.
But I would say mostly my mother. My dad was
kind of part of that too, and I think some
(03:36):
of it's a generational thing, where you know, our parents
that are in our you know, seventies and eighties just
didn't grow up with kind of being emotionally available for
us as kids.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
How old are they today or your mom today?
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Oh gosh, I think my mom's seventy eight and my
dad is eighty three.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
And again I'm not here to say that what they
did didn't impact you in a negative way or influence
you know how you grew up, because again I assure you,
I feel that I went through it myself. But I
also think sometimes we have to look at how we
(04:19):
choose to narrate our story. So you can't go back
in time. You can't go back and change the way
they impacted your life. But you also can't go back
and change whatever happened in their life that made them
this way. And it could have been how they grew up.
(04:40):
It also could be something just chemically within them. You
know that they even have no control over. And sometimes
you have to It's not easy, but you have to decide.
I'm no longer going to live in the past. I'm
no longer going to be any I'm no longer going
(05:02):
to keep talking to a wall that never hears me.
I'm no longer going to try to fix you. Because
that energy you have to decide how you want to
spend the rest of your days. And I don't say
this in like a gloomy, gloomy you know dooms day way,
(05:24):
but they're not going to live forever. And I'm not
going to live forever. Now, you might live forever, but
most of us will not. And so and it sounds like,
you know, you do have a new family, your family
that you've built, and again you're doing the best you can.
Maybe not every decision's been perfect, right. There's no manual
(05:45):
as a parent or even a manual as a spouse.
So sometimes when I've gone through relationships and I had
to kind of look at this with my dad, he
ended up having an affair in our FAMI family, and
I looked at him feeling bad for him. He was
(06:07):
an only son, he grew up kind of poor, and
although he was successful and abundant had money when he retired,
I looked at him, sad that he didn't have a
different walk himself and the decisions he made. When you're
on your deathbed, I think you do think about that.
(06:29):
I do think you do think about the dominoes. I
think you might not tell everybody, but I think you
think about it. And he died of cancer at sixty eight,
and I do think he thought about it. And so
you have a choice of either trying to make that
square object fit in the triangle hole, or you have
(06:55):
the ability to narrate this next chapter. And maybe you
just put up a period at the end of a sentence.
And how you put that period at the end of
the sentence is you find a way to really get
it out of your system, whether you write a letter
that you never give them, or you write a letter
(07:17):
that you do give them, whether you write a letter
and decide to throw it in the fireplace or throw
it in a bonfire and never anyone ever sees it,
whether you go to counseling and you tell this counselor listen,
I'm going to do a lot of talking. I don't
even need your advice. I'm just here at event right.
(07:37):
I would really just get it out, and I would
cry and I would yell, and I would get every
emotion out, because what emotions are is energy in motion.
So you're having emotions around this because it's energy that's
stirring in you. And to set your self free, you
(08:01):
have to let those energy, those emotions free. And so
I know it's not the most exciting answer in the world.
Here I am telling you to go vent and cry,
And here I am saying that you're never going to
be told you're right, you know, from your parents. But
I really believe that this is your life. They gave
(08:25):
you breath, they gave you the ability to have a life.
But there let again, I'm not saying you to feel
sad for them or bad for them, but I would
really turn and look forward and not backwards.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Yeah, yeah, that sounds good. I've done a lot of
the work myself. You know, I think there's some some
pieces in there that are tied. I'm also adopted and
I'm the only daughter, and so I think there's a
lot of pieces that are kind of you know, still
tied into that. And you know, only as I get
older have kind of come to realize more and more things.
(09:05):
But I appreciate the thoughts of you know, energy and
motion and how to kind of continue to look to
the future versus staying in that past narrative.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Well, and truly, you know, whether someone is adopted, whether
they have been with their blood family their whole life.
Remember one thing. You come into this life well with
some people, but it's your own breath, and you will
leave it your own breath. Maybe it will be with
people you won't. This is your story. Everybody else are
(09:39):
just supporting characters, and so if you take all those
supporting characters away, it's just how you were going to
narrate it going forward, and everything else was just part
of the story. But you are the main star. Can
you do that?
Speaker 4 (10:00):
I like that, Yeah, I like that idea.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah, and remember to have fun, remember to laugh. You
cherish every minute because you don't know how long you have.
So I would leave that past in the past and
look forward. Okay, awesome, thank you for calling in and
for everybody listening today. It is about following your own truth.
(10:25):
And again, that's about being the star of our life, right,
that's about narrating our life and continuing to look forward.
We'll be right back. After this break with Alice and Pina.
Speaker 7 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that. We'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org. Brought to
you by the AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 8 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 9 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 9 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 8 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 9 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.
Speaker 10 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 8 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 10 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have Prediabetes?
Speaker 8 (12:42):
Dot org?
Speaker 9 (12:43):
Warning the cap is loose on that cat yeng.
Speaker 8 (12:47):
Oh, don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have prediabetes dot org? Today? That's do
I have prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 10 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes awareness partners.
Speaker 11 (13:00):
Heh oh brah, that's buzzed.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
Oh yeah, yeah, he's starting with the woots.
Speaker 12 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 13 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 8 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying, when it's time to go home, somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 10 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too, know your buzzed warning signs,
call for a ride when it's time to go home.
Speaker 8 (13:25):
Buzz Driving is drunk driving. A message from Minitza and
the AD Council.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Out you got me Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 14 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home Safe for It, Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's Nfamilyfire dot Org. Brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council.
Speaker 15 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the.
Speaker 13 (14:05):
Lingo Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 15 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org. A public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the AD Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to living full Out with Nancy Soilary as
a life coach. Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You could ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy
Silary in this the Living Full Out Show, and today
we're talking about following your own truth. And I have
brought you an inspirational guest today, Alizonpina, who's a great
example of walking that walk, you know, defining what truth
is for yourself and being able to be honest along
the way and kind of feeling it through. And I
(15:55):
know that will mean more as we unfold her story.
So I'd like to welcome Allison to the show.
Speaker 16 (16:00):
Show.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Hi, Hi, he so nice to have you here. I
just want to mention briefly because part of your story
is kind of the awakening to finding the words to
express yourself. And you know, I know when you were younger,
you know, born as the queen bee, the queen child
(16:22):
of your family. And then you know, your brothers came
along and stole a little bit of that sibling thunder.
But truly, your next brother down did have a genetic
health condition that your parents didn't really share with all
of you. You really found yourself along the way wondering
why did he get away with things that I couldn't
(16:44):
get away with? And your family obviously separated, your parents
ultimately got divorced when you were in your twenties, and
to everybody on the outside, the family looked perfect, looked whole,
but it was kind of cracking behind the scenes. And
when you found out when your brother did pass, and
(17:04):
he passed, you know, when you were in your twenties
as well, what did that feel like? You know, what
did you have to kind of digest for yourself when
you started to grapple with truth.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
It was interesting because immediately in the aftermath of his dying,
life got very sharp. It was very clear what mattered.
So my connection to what was going on in the world,
what was going on with my friends and my family,
(17:37):
got just more distinct, and I pledged that I would
what he took with him when he died, I would
bring that to the world because he was no longer
here to do it.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And when and when you say what he took with him,
what was that?
Speaker 3 (17:58):
He was?
Speaker 14 (18:00):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Man, we used to fight. He was the next one down,
and so you know, if he said one thing, I
would say another, and vice versa. But he loved the
out of doors. He was a camp counselor and he
literally died on the last day of camp. Loved nature,
connecting with people, with children. He was He was, in
(18:25):
his own way, a bright light and also one of
the most infuriating human beings I ever knew.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
So you became a bright light in his honor in
that way to further the light. Basically, yes, okay, I
love that.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Telling the truth. Telling the truth got really important, like
what really.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Matters, and a good lesson actually to learn in your
twenties because obviously Allison didn't know it then, but more
was to come. I know you you met the love
of your life, the first love of your life, and
his name was David, and he was an artist. And
(19:07):
just right before you all kind of connected and got married,
you did find out that he had a manic, depressive sign.
You also found out after you got married about his diabetes,
and over time that depression really showed up and then
it would go away. And it's hard to be truthful
(19:30):
about that. Those are some really hard moments in a marriage.
How did you deal with that?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
I would say that the manic depression was less of
an issue than the secrecy. I have a very wide
and strong network of support in my family and my friends,
and because my husband's mom asked me to keep it
a secret, I kept it a secret for two years
(20:01):
until he almost succeeded in committing suicide in Provincetown.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
And when that secret came out, was there a level
of relief or did it just become that much more real?
Speaker 3 (20:18):
There was an enormous level of relief because I had
my support back. As yet, there was some kickback from
my family and friends who were very angry that I
didn't share the load before that.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Well, I'm not even your close immediate family, and I
would be protective of you too, because they would want
to help you. They would want you to lean on
them and to know that you dealt with that and
burden that on your own. Now you know there was
a lot of love between you and David, and you
(21:01):
know your marriage was, you know, almost two decades long.
You know, he did develop a health condition later on
in life, he got cancer, And I want you to
share with us though, as for as much as you
had been through, cancer tested your marriage even more so.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
How cancer is complicated because what what happens is that
the person sees themselves diminishing and diminished. So his ability
to do things got weaker. He lost his hair riding
(21:44):
a bicycle, his eyebrows flew off into his eyes and
cut his eyes. And there aren't a lot of people
who are safe to be angry about that. And so
because there was not somebody else who just would not
(22:05):
walk away no matter how awful he was, at times,
I got a lot of that anger when he was
feeling too vulnerable, and that really tested us. The other
thing it did, though, was that we recommitted to loving
each other. So I told you when my brother died,
(22:26):
life got sharp. What mattered got very sharp. But then
over the years that faded in the same way. In
the last eleven months of his life, it got sharp.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
So in some ways loss has sharpened things for you
in your life, Like you almost take loss and make
it a not a positive, but you learn from it,
you grow from it.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Yes, the crack that the light shines in.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
You know, that's really beautiful. And I really want everybody
to kind of literally hear that, you know, the crack
lets the light shine in, because I think sometimes it
is so hard to see that light amongst so much
darkness sadness, and so I'm grateful that you actually said that,
because you know, the thing about your story is today
(23:22):
we're talking about you know, you know, following your truth,
and you had to figure out for yourself, you had
to find that light in the crack. So I want
everyone to stay with us because there is a lot
more to Alison's story that we're going to share. But
if you are going through loss in your own life,
kind of lean in in this next segment because you
(23:44):
might hear something from her very powerfully that allows you
to get some relief, that allows you to look at
grieving in a way that you can grow from. I'm
Nancy Silary. This The Living Full Out Show will be
right back after this break.
Speaker 11 (24:03):
Today. In school, I learned a lot in chemistry. I
learned that no one likes me. In English, I learned
that I'm disgusting, and in Physics, I learned that I'm
a loser.
Speaker 17 (24:16):
Today, in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying.
Speaker 18 (24:26):
Today.
Speaker 19 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick, and at lunch
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In Chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 11 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid. And in Math I learned that I'm trash.
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today. The only thing I
didn't learn is why no one ever.
Speaker 16 (24:53):
Helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward slash boot camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 20 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, That's who.
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear. Never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov slash kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 21 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma, more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at Pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 13 (27:04):
It's slipping, confit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 14 (27:07):
Known share.
Speaker 22 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner. I get it,
flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
(27:30):
with a monitor.
Speaker 17 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 23 (27:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (27:37):
It's slipping coffit check, cop to doctor, known share.
Speaker 22 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power. Learn more at manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at Livingfollout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Welcome back. I'm Nancyslarian. This is the Living Full Out
Show and today we're talking about following your truth, your
own truth, and that what that is for each of
us kind of gets defined over time through the experiences
that we go through. And our guest today, Alsionpina, is
a great example of how you can go through hard times.
(28:43):
You can be tested, but it does kind of shape
you and polish you and allow you to see your purpose,
your greatness. So i'd like to welcome Allison back to
the show.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
So obviously, the loss of David, you know you would
recommit did your love and when he passed, he didn't
just leave you with a broken heart, but he left
you with a lot of paintings. He was an artist
and he left you with a lot of questions because
you were young. You were only in your fifties, and
(29:20):
I don't know what that looks like in terms of
how you answer questions that people ask. So when the years,
the months, the years started to go on, you know,
when people say are you going to start dating again?
Or you know, whw did you maneuver? Those times it
(29:41):
was complicated.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
The first year is typically for most people going through
a lost numbness. It doesn't feel real. You're just trying
to get through the motions and get things done. The
second year it gets real. And so in the second year,
I and from the beginning, at four months, someone said
you need to start dating again. At a year and
(30:04):
a half, someone said it was too soon. So everybody's
got an opinion. And what I would say about that is,
if there are people in your audience who are grieving,
follow your truth, Follow what you know to be right
for yourself, because nobody else knows it better. So in
(30:26):
answer to the question, I sort of wound up saying
I'll take that under consideration. Eventually I decided that I
wanted to I wanted the possibility of love again. I
couldn't actually conceive of it because I was with David
(30:47):
for twenty five years, and yet I wanted to try,
and so I got on Bumble, a dating app in
my fifties, with the idea that I needed to figure
out who I wanted what I wanted because I was
no longer the person who I was before I married Dave,
(31:10):
or who I was as his wife, as his widow.
I was completely different and I had no idea what
that person might love.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Well, and love did come your way. You met Wayne,
and you're still dating and going strong today. And the
thing is, when you meet somebody new, does it feel
sometimes like you're betraying the spouse that passed. Does it
(31:42):
feel strange holding another person? Does the body even feel different?
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Yeah? It felt. It was very difficult. It was the
most difficult passage of going through the grief because I
did feel like I was betraying David, and my head
knew he was gone, but my heart was less convinced,
(32:12):
and so I couldn't trust my own chemistry. So when
you start dating someone, typically, oh, I'm attracted to them,
and it's pretty simple, you are or you aren't. In
this case, I would feel desire. The grief would come
up at the same time, and I would push away,
which was very confusing for Wayne. There was a time
(32:39):
I was coming up on a bunch of really rough anniversaries,
and there was a time when I called Wayne up,
I think it was maybe September, and I said, look,
we should just stop dating until after the new year.
I've got a lot of tough anniversaries. I'm going to
be really awful and just cut it off till then.
(33:01):
And then two days later I called him up and
invited him to go to a museum, meet my mother
and see my cousin's film be shown. I mean, the
guy had whiplash.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
You're worth a whiplash, though, Allison. You're worth it. You're
a really, really beautiful soul. And I want to say that,
I really mean it. Although you and David had gone
through really hard times, recommitted your love and then the
loss of him, you have to this day taking care
(33:39):
of his mom, who's over one hundred And I'm just
curious what is that like, because you're still very much
involved in David's life and world and mother, but yet
starting a new life with Wayne. And I think a
lot of blended families even struggle with that.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Yes, it's been very complicated, So I have been with
the man I love Wayne for five years at this point,
and I take care of David's mom because I'm the
only relative in New York to do that. She's over
one hundred and one, and so I'm tied to Dave
(34:26):
while loving somebody else. And she and I had this
really awful, contentious relationship while Dave was alive, really competitive
for his time and attention. And yet we've grown to
love each other. But it's really painful to see her
(34:48):
memory starting to falter and her physical ability to start
to diminish, because it's sad for her. It's really hard
when she doesn't remember that her family is mostly all dead.
She's the last of her generation that her son is dead,
(35:08):
and I have to tell her again. And so there's
this sadness, there's this exhaustion, there's joy that we've created
this relationship. It's complicated, you know.
Speaker 21 (35:23):
In one on one hand.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
You you you make grieving sound possible, that one can
get through it, that that light that you see through
the crack. But on another hand, you definitely present that
it's very real and hard, and I'm just wondering, are
you finally able to laugh again? Are you free and
(35:51):
what finally allowed Alison to step into her truth.
Speaker 3 (35:59):
The most powerful thing I learned is that joy and
grief live together. And once I understood that, I was
free to laugh again because I could have the grief
rise and also be glad about something. And so I
(36:21):
think that the going through these losses has made me
realize more than anything else, how nuanced our emotions are,
and how if we try to have them one by one,
it just doesn't work. It's not the way it goes.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
And I laugh, Yeah, and that's a good thing. And
you know you have dedicated your life. Now we don't
have much time. But what if somebody is listening right
now who is a widow widower and they're not where
you are, What is the one, just one thing they
(37:01):
should do today to get that freedom feeling.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
I would say that the most difficult thing after I
lost David was trusting myself, trusting my heart, trusting my
mind because my memory went, trusting my body because I
couldn't didn't have energy. And so I would say that
(37:30):
in the absence of really knowing what to do next,
people step in with lots of unsolicited advice and I
would say, Okay, take that advice, listen to it, run
it through what you know is right for you, and
then trust yourself and do that.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
And then somewhere in there is finding your own truth
and being able to follow that. And you know you
created you know, bad widow, your book and all that,
and you've dedicated, like I said, your life to helping others.
And I'm just curious, Allison, because what does living full
(38:15):
out mean to you? You know, to be out of
that place of grief, but stepping into joy.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Living full out means being brave. So doing things which
are hard moving through grief is not easy. Being willing
to love someone again in the face of feeling like
I was betraying Dave was not easy. Trusting my brain
(38:44):
to work so that I could work again was not easy.
So being brave enough to step through the steps to
get to trust again, to follow your own intuition and
your own knowing to what you're meant to be doing next.
(39:05):
So I guess it was it is be brave, do
things that are scary, Keep growing your capacity because it
drinks when you grief, and it doesn't come back automatically.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Well, I know you and Dave. You dedicated yourselves to
being fearless once you found out about his cancer, you
guys were making sure that you made every day count
that recommitment of your love together and truly you just
oosee this hope. And thank you so much for sharing
your testimony and just really being that light through the cracks.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Thanks so much Nancy for having me.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
On absolutely and for everybody listening today. Grief is hard,
it's sad, it feels heavy, but again, just like Allison,
and find joy at the same time. And when you
do that, you're obviously living full out. You're getting back
into life, but you're also allowing your ability to turn
(40:12):
that new chapter. And we would very much like to
welcome you to share your story, just like Allison did.
If you've gone through a hard time in your life,
you know we'd love to know what did you learn,
how did you get through it? So feel free to
reach out to us at connect at livingfullout dot com.
Make sure to share your contact info and what you
went through, and we'd love to have you on as
(40:34):
an inspirational guest. And today we are talking about following
your own truth as you step and leap towards a
life of living full out, So stay with us we'll
be right back after this break.
Speaker 12 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months,
they're combining vowels and consonants two, by nine months, they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months
(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, especially
if there's no babbling at all. Little to no babbling
by twelve months or later is just one of the
possible signs of autism and children. Early screening and intervention
can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a world
(41:50):
of possibilities. Take the first step at autism speaks dot org,
a public service announcement brought to you by Autism Speaks
and the AD Council.
Speaker 18 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 8 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 18 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin. UBB rays burn, and both
cause cancer, but the perfect sunscreen doesn't count if you
use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day?
Speaker 9 (42:33):
Wrong?
Speaker 18 (42:34):
Eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope. Anytime you're outside,
UB rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information.
(42:57):
A message from the US Food and Drug Admans.
Speaker 6 (43:01):
Right now, our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 7 (43:06):
I gotta tell you.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
I was nervous to talk to someone so different than me.
Speaker 9 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.
Speaker 6 (43:12):
Love has No Labels and One Small Step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 11 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 7 (43:24):
Yeah.
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When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash One Small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation.
Speaker 8 (43:41):
Of your own.
Speaker 9 (43:42):
I know one thing.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 6 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation at Love has
No Labels, dot com, slash one small step, a message
from story Core, Love has No Labels, and the ad Council.
Speaker 8 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 4 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand.
Speaker 9 (44:08):
I'm planning that tree.
Speaker 23 (44:09):
You remember, No matter how large or small your digging
project may be, no matter how urban or rural, you
must always call eight one one before any digging project.
Eight one to one is our national one call number,
alerting your local utility companies to come out and mark
any lines they have near your dig site. You must
(44:31):
call eight one to one at least two to three
business days before any digging project so you can avoid
hitting our essential buried utilities. This includes natural gas and
petroleum pipelines, electra communication cables, and water and sewer lines.
So before you do this or this, make sure you
(44:53):
do this. For digging projects big or small, make the
call to eight one to one, brought to you by
Common Ground, The alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to following your own truth, you want
to make sure that you trust yourself. I know that's
easier said than done, but truly, when the time comes,
when you meet the moment, you will say the right things.
You will do the right action steps that are good
for you at the time, and at the end of
all of it, you just want to be able to
(45:24):
say I did my best, I followed my heart, I
followed my own truth.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy
and the Living Full Out Show, and we've been talking
about following your own truth. And the thing is is
this is just such an important topic because it doesn't
matter if you're dealing with a heartbreak or you know,
career worries or financial worries or just feeling like you're
(46:20):
going in circles. The truth is within you and you
just want to do your best. To diagnose and figure
out what that is. And I can only share from
my own personal examples of what that has been for me.
You know, it's interesting as you go through life. You know,
I don't know about everybody's path being the same, but
(46:42):
you for mine, the twenties were great. Oh every turn,
every stone was turned, every adventure was taken, and everything
I ever wanted to try, I did. I mean, I
didn't try being an astronaut, you know, I wasn't going
for those things. Or I was it didn't become a
race car driver, but I travel through Europe, I tried
different careers to see what was the best fit. I
(47:04):
tried different love relationships on to find out, you know,
what was you know, the right mate for me. And
then you know, the thirties come along, and then all
of a sudden, it's okay, this is a bit more real.
Now I've got to start thinking about my future a
bit more. And oh wait, now everyone's going to start
coupling up. WHOA, now they're getting married, WHOA, now they're
(47:27):
having kids. But not everybody, right, And so I think
around the thirties, you find that there's the relationship pressures
and the career pressures. And you know, for me around
that time in my thirties, I had started losing my
vision quite a bit in my early twenties, gave up
driving at twenty four. You know, so as much as
(47:48):
I was out there living adventures, I was also trying
to figure out, gosh, what do I see and what
do I not see? And you know, gosh, it kept changing,
Like every couple of years my vision would take a jump.
I really got to my thirties, you know, it was
really for me about what brings me joy and you know,
my career and motivating others. And it's when you do
(48:12):
when you figure out what you want to do for
a living, and you know that it's purposeful. It's a
glory line between work and play. And so for me,
I was just kind of playing along and just having
a great time. And when you go through life and
then you dip into your forties and then fifties and beyond,
you know, you start to see those who maybe got
(48:35):
married get divorced. Do you see those who had kids
love it still or not start to not love it
as much. You see people who made kind of aggressive
decisions do well, and some kind of went too far
out the box, and so every step of the way,
you literally just have to do the best that you
(48:56):
can do. And it's interesting when I look at my
life now I'm in my forties, I think to myself,
you know, what I have learned is that I had
to get really good at being alone and comfortable with
not checking boxes. And some of you might be raising
your hands going, yep, I know what she's talking about,
(49:18):
because it's easy to think that you have to have
a certain life, you have to check that box, be
that person in the world. But if we were all
the same, how boring would that be?
Speaker 9 (49:30):
Right?
Speaker 2 (49:31):
I mean, I can literally sit down with my friends
and I am signature Nancy through and through. You know,
I do things. I'm outgoing. I have kind of got
this career that has me pinging and ponging here and there.
And then have other friends who their day is very
much the same. They've got their kids, they've got their routines.
(49:53):
And I can be with those friends and we celebrate
all of our life choices and and we actually now
come together really a smorgasborg of different challenges and wins.
But we had to get through the checking of the
box stage of life before we could finally get to
this place of ugh, you know, all of our challenges
(50:15):
are different and we can help each other. And so
wherever you are in your life, if you're still in
that twenties period where you're trying on different shoes and
different life experiences, or maybe just maybe you're further down
the line your sixties seventies and you've got some regrets,
or you wish you could have a couple doovers. You know,
(50:38):
I really want everyone to say, you know what, don't
ask for those doovers, because truly I think everything unfolds
the way it should be. And I really actually say
that with regards to even my vision loss. I sometimes
think to myself, Man, if I could drive, what will
kind of car would that be? Or it'd be so
(50:59):
much easier if I could just, you know, do this
with ease or do that with ease. But then I
think to myself, you know, you can't have it both ways.
I mean, I have this beautiful, handsome, oh he's so
yummy labador, my guide dog in my life, But I
couldn't have Frost my guide dog if I wasn't legally blind. Now,
(51:20):
sure I could have another Labador, which i've had labs
in the past, but I'm telling you they weren't Frost.
It took being on this journey for it to unfold
the way it did. And so to me, living your
truth is being able to celebrate and awake and narrate
your story, and so I know that all of you
(51:42):
can as well. Just know that the entire Living full
Out family is always here to support you every step
of the way. We really want to hear from you,
and if you've got an inspirational story, we want to
share it. Just reach out to us at connect at
livingfollout dot com. Let us know what you went through,
how you got through it. Make sure to stay motivated.
(52:03):
Go to the app store download the Living full Out
Show app, and We'll be beside you every step of
the way. Let us always Here's to all of you,
Living full Out. Thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to The Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfollout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My
name is Nancy Silari, and today we're going to be
talking about following your own truth. And sometimes that comes
with a conviction or values that you may have. It
also may be you know, trusting your instincts, but letting
those guides lead you so that you are able to
(00:40):
have a truthful life and not live that life of regrets.
I also want to make sure you stay with us
because our inspirational guest, Alison Pina, really had to weather
those twists and turns and storms of life, you know,
in many ways, whether it be her career or the
loss of her husband or her brother. And again we'll
talk all about that, but I think you're going to
(01:02):
leap away from her her story really knowing that you
have that power, you have that ability to make those
decisions that work for you so that you can lift
your head up, hie. Very important. Also, I want to
make sure that you lean on listening to this show
again or any of our episodes if you are needing motivation,
(01:24):
because that is why we do this show. Whether you
go to the app store and download the Living Full
Out Show app, it's free, or whether you have an
Alex at home, you can listen to us that way,
or just go to our website. All the episodes are
waiting there for you. Now I am getting a word
from our producer that we do a listener on the line.
We're going to go say hello to them. Hello, welcome
(01:45):
to the Living Full Out Show. Hello, Hi, thank you
for Colleen. How can I help you?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
So?
Speaker 4 (01:51):
One of my questions was how do we navigate difficult
adult relationships with parents from kind of standing from past,
you know, difficulties. I'm sure we all have some difficulties
with our childhood and you know, as a as a
middle aged woman. Now, I guess that's I'm kind of
looking for some guidance on how to navigate some of that.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Oh boy, don't we wish we could just go back
in time and tell our parents to make better decisions right,
you know, wake up, right, do better? But we can't.
We kind of get the residual. And I'm sure even
in your own life, you've done the best you can,
but maybe a word you've said or an action you've
done landed on somebody else in a way that made
(02:36):
them may be sad or confused. You know, I think
we just all do the best we can. And I'm
with you because I am one of three daughters that
dealt with a family that went through divorce and our
dad made some bad, bad decisions. So I've seen even
in my own family how each person saw our childhood
(02:59):
was different. So when you look back on yours, which
parent is it that you're.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
Kind of having this resistance with, I would give mostly
my mother, just she was kind of emotionally.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Unavailable, never really admitted that she had anxiety. And I think,
you know, myself as a parent, as while looking back
on that, I realized kind of how detrimental that was
for my own emotional well being, and so, of course,
you know, looking to raise my children in a different way.
But I would say mostly my mother. My dad was
kind of part of that too, and I think some
(03:36):
of it's a generational thing, where you know, our parents
that are in our you know, seventies and eighties just
didn't grow up with kind of being emotionally available for
us as kids.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
How old are they today or your mom today?
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Oh gosh, I think my mom's seventy eight and my
dad is eighty three.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
And again I'm not here to say that what they
did didn't impact you in a negative way or influence
you know how you grew up, because again I assure you,
I feel that I went through it myself. But I
also think sometimes we have to look at how we
(04:19):
choose to narrate our story. So you can't go back
in time. You can't go back and change the way
they impacted your life. But you also can't go back
and change whatever happened in their life that made them
this way. And it could have been how they grew up.
(04:40):
It also could be something just chemically within them. You
know that they even have no control over. And sometimes
you have to It's not easy, but you have to decide.
I'm no longer going to live in the past. I'm
no longer going to be any I'm no longer going
(05:02):
to keep talking to a wall that never hears me.
I'm no longer going to try to fix you. Because
that energy you have to decide how you want to
spend the rest of your days. And I don't say
this in like a gloomy, gloomy you know dooms day way,
(05:24):
but they're not going to live forever. And I'm not
going to live forever. Now, you might live forever, but
most of us will not. And so and it sounds like,
you know, you do have a new family, your family
that you've built, and again you're doing the best you can.
Maybe not every decision's been perfect, right. There's no manual
(05:45):
as a parent or even a manual as a spouse.
So sometimes when I've gone through relationships and I had
to kind of look at this with my dad, he
ended up having an affair in our FAMI family, and
I looked at him feeling bad for him. He was
(06:07):
an only son, he grew up kind of poor, and
although he was successful and abundant had money when he retired,
I looked at him, sad that he didn't have a
different walk himself and the decisions he made. When you're
on your deathbed, I think you do think about that.
(06:29):
I do think you do think about the dominoes. I
think you might not tell everybody, but I think you
think about it. And he died of cancer at sixty eight,
and I do think he thought about it. And so
you have a choice of either trying to make that
square object fit in the triangle hole, or you have
(06:55):
the ability to narrate this next chapter. And maybe you
just put up a period at the end of a sentence.
And how you put that period at the end of
the sentence is you find a way to really get
it out of your system, whether you write a letter
that you never give them, or you write a letter
(07:17):
that you do give them, whether you write a letter
and decide to throw it in the fireplace or throw
it in a bonfire and never anyone ever sees it,
whether you go to counseling and you tell this counselor listen,
I'm going to do a lot of talking. I don't
even need your advice. I'm just here at event right.
(07:37):
I would really just get it out, and I would
cry and I would yell, and I would get every
emotion out, because what emotions are is energy in motion.
So you're having emotions around this because it's energy that's
stirring in you. And to set your self free, you
(08:01):
have to let those energy, those emotions free. And so
I know it's not the most exciting answer in the world.
Here I am telling you to go vent and cry,
And here I am saying that you're never going to
be told you're right, you know, from your parents. But
I really believe that this is your life. They gave
(08:25):
you breath, they gave you the ability to have a life.
But there let again, I'm not saying you to feel
sad for them or bad for them, but I would
really turn and look forward and not backwards.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Yeah, yeah, that sounds good. I've done a lot of
the work myself. You know, I think there's some some
pieces in there that are tied. I'm also adopted and
I'm the only daughter, and so I think there's a
lot of pieces that are kind of you know, still
tied into that. And you know, only as I get
older have kind of come to realize more and more things.
(09:05):
But I appreciate the thoughts of you know, energy and
motion and how to kind of continue to look to
the future versus staying in that past narrative.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Well, and truly, you know, whether someone is adopted, whether
they have been with their blood family their whole life.
Remember one thing. You come into this life well with
some people, but it's your own breath, and you will
leave it your own breath. Maybe it will be with
people you won't. This is your story. Everybody else are
(09:39):
just supporting characters, and so if you take all those
supporting characters away, it's just how you were going to
narrate it going forward, and everything else was just part
of the story. But you are the main star. Can
you do that?
Speaker 4 (10:00):
I like that, Yeah, I like that idea.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah, and remember to have fun, remember to laugh. You
cherish every minute because you don't know how long you have.
So I would leave that past in the past and
look forward. Okay, awesome, thank you for calling in and
for everybody listening today. It is about following your own truth.
(10:25):
And again, that's about being the star of our life, right,
that's about narrating our life and continuing to look forward.
We'll be right back. After this break with Alice and Pina.
Speaker 7 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that. We'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org. Brought to
you by the AMA CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 8 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 9 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 9 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 8 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 9 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistakes.
Speaker 10 (12:21):
Oh well, life doesn't always give you time to change
the outcome, but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and
a few healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active,
stopping smoking, and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes
before it leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 8 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 10 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have Prediabetes?
Speaker 8 (12:42):
Dot org?
Speaker 9 (12:43):
Warning the cap is loose on that cat yeng.
Speaker 8 (12:47):
Oh, don't wait. You have the power to change the outcome.
Visit do I have prediabetes dot org? Today? That's do
I have prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 10 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes awareness partners.
Speaker 11 (13:00):
Heh oh brah, that's buzzed.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
Oh yeah, yeah, he's starting with the woots.
Speaker 12 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 13 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 8 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying, when it's time to go home, somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 10 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too, know your buzzed warning signs,
call for a ride when it's time to go home.
Speaker 8 (13:25):
Buzz Driving is drunk driving. A message from Minitza and
the AD Council.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Out you got me Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 14 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home Safe for It, Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's Nfamilyfire dot Org. Brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the AD Council.
Speaker 15 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the.
Speaker 13 (14:05):
Lingo Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 15 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot org. A public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the AD Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to living full Out with Nancy Soilary as
a life coach. Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You could ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy
Silary in this the Living Full Out Show, and today
we're talking about following your own truth. And I have
brought you an inspirational guest today, Alizonpina, who's a great
example of walking that walk, you know, defining what truth
is for yourself and being able to be honest along
the way and kind of feeling it through. And I
(15:55):
know that will mean more as we unfold her story.
So I'd like to welcome Allison to the show.
Speaker 16 (16:00):
Show.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Hi, Hi, he so nice to have you here. I
just want to mention briefly because part of your story
is kind of the awakening to finding the words to
express yourself. And you know, I know when you were younger,
you know, born as the queen bee, the queen child
(16:22):
of your family. And then you know, your brothers came
along and stole a little bit of that sibling thunder.
But truly, your next brother down did have a genetic
health condition that your parents didn't really share with all
of you. You really found yourself along the way wondering
why did he get away with things that I couldn't
(16:44):
get away with? And your family obviously separated, your parents
ultimately got divorced when you were in your twenties, and
to everybody on the outside, the family looked perfect, looked whole,
but it was kind of cracking behind the scenes. And
when you found out when your brother did pass, and
(17:04):
he passed, you know, when you were in your twenties
as well, what did that feel like? You know, what
did you have to kind of digest for yourself when
you started to grapple with truth.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
It was interesting because immediately in the aftermath of his dying,
life got very sharp. It was very clear what mattered.
So my connection to what was going on in the world,
what was going on with my friends and my family,
(17:37):
got just more distinct, and I pledged that I would
what he took with him when he died, I would
bring that to the world because he was no longer
here to do it.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And when and when you say what he took with him,
what was that?
Speaker 3 (17:58):
He was?
Speaker 14 (18:00):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Man, we used to fight. He was the next one down,
and so you know, if he said one thing, I
would say another, and vice versa. But he loved the
out of doors. He was a camp counselor and he
literally died on the last day of camp. Loved nature,
connecting with people, with children. He was He was, in
(18:25):
his own way, a bright light and also one of
the most infuriating human beings I ever knew.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
So you became a bright light in his honor in
that way to further the light. Basically, yes, okay, I
love that.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Telling the truth. Telling the truth got really important, like
what really.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Matters, and a good lesson actually to learn in your
twenties because obviously Allison didn't know it then, but more
was to come. I know you you met the love
of your life, the first love of your life, and
his name was David, and he was an artist. And
(19:07):
just right before you all kind of connected and got married,
you did find out that he had a manic, depressive sign.
You also found out after you got married about his diabetes,
and over time that depression really showed up and then
it would go away. And it's hard to be truthful
(19:30):
about that. Those are some really hard moments in a marriage.
How did you deal with that?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
I would say that the manic depression was less of
an issue than the secrecy. I have a very wide
and strong network of support in my family and my friends,
and because my husband's mom asked me to keep it
a secret, I kept it a secret for two years
(20:01):
until he almost succeeded in committing suicide in Provincetown.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
And when that secret came out, was there a level
of relief or did it just become that much more real?
Speaker 3 (20:18):
There was an enormous level of relief because I had
my support back. As yet, there was some kickback from
my family and friends who were very angry that I
didn't share the load before that.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Well, I'm not even your close immediate family, and I
would be protective of you too, because they would want
to help you. They would want you to lean on
them and to know that you dealt with that and
burden that on your own. Now you know there was
a lot of love between you and David, and you
(21:01):
know your marriage was, you know, almost two decades long.
You know, he did develop a health condition later on
in life, he got cancer, And I want you to
share with us though, as for as much as you
had been through, cancer tested your marriage even more so.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
How cancer is complicated because what what happens is that
the person sees themselves diminishing and diminished. So his ability
to do things got weaker. He lost his hair riding
(21:44):
a bicycle, his eyebrows flew off into his eyes and
cut his eyes. And there aren't a lot of people
who are safe to be angry about that. And so
because there was not somebody else who just would not
(22:05):
walk away no matter how awful he was, at times,
I got a lot of that anger when he was
feeling too vulnerable, and that really tested us. The other
thing it did, though, was that we recommitted to loving
each other. So I told you when my brother died,
(22:26):
life got sharp. What mattered got very sharp. But then
over the years that faded in the same way. In
the last eleven months of his life, it got sharp.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
So in some ways loss has sharpened things for you
in your life, Like you almost take loss and make
it a not a positive, but you learn from it,
you grow from it.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Yes, the crack that the light shines in.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
You know, that's really beautiful. And I really want everybody
to kind of literally hear that, you know, the crack
lets the light shine in, because I think sometimes it
is so hard to see that light amongst so much
darkness sadness, and so I'm grateful that you actually said that,
because you know, the thing about your story is today
(23:22):
we're talking about you know, you know, following your truth,
and you had to figure out for yourself, you had
to find that light in the crack. So I want
everyone to stay with us because there is a lot
more to Alison's story that we're going to share. But
if you are going through loss in your own life,
kind of lean in in this next segment because you
(23:44):
might hear something from her very powerfully that allows you
to get some relief, that allows you to look at
grieving in a way that you can grow from. I'm
Nancy Silary. This The Living Full Out Show will be
right back after this break.
Speaker 11 (24:03):
Today. In school, I learned a lot in chemistry. I
learned that no one likes me. In English, I learned
that I'm disgusting, and in Physics, I learned that I'm
a loser.
Speaker 17 (24:16):
Today, in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying.
Speaker 18 (24:26):
Today.
Speaker 19 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick, and at lunch
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In Chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 11 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid. And in Math I learned that I'm trash.
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today. The only thing I
didn't learn is why no one ever.
Speaker 16 (24:53):
Helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot Gov. A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to Livingfullout dot com forward slash boot camp Livingfullout dot
(25:25):
com Forward Slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe
in you, and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 20 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, That's who.
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear. Never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov slash kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 21 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma, more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at Pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 13 (27:04):
It's slipping, confit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 14 (27:07):
Known share.
Speaker 22 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner. I get it,
flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
(27:30):
with a monitor.
Speaker 17 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 23 (27:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (27:37):
It's slipping coffit check, cop to doctor, known share.
Speaker 22 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power. Learn more at manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at Livingfollout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Welcome back. I'm Nancyslarian. This is the Living Full Out
Show and today we're talking about following your truth, your
own truth, and that what that is for each of
us kind of gets defined over time through the experiences
that we go through. And our guest today, Alsionpina, is
a great example of how you can go through hard times.
(28:43):
You can be tested, but it does kind of shape
you and polish you and allow you to see your purpose,
your greatness. So i'd like to welcome Allison back to
the show.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
So obviously, the loss of David, you know you would
recommit did your love and when he passed, he didn't
just leave you with a broken heart, but he left
you with a lot of paintings. He was an artist
and he left you with a lot of questions because
you were young. You were only in your fifties, and
(29:20):
I don't know what that looks like in terms of
how you answer questions that people ask. So when the years,
the months, the years started to go on, you know,
when people say are you going to start dating again?
Or you know, whw did you maneuver? Those times it
(29:41):
was complicated.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
The first year is typically for most people going through
a lost numbness. It doesn't feel real. You're just trying
to get through the motions and get things done. The
second year it gets real. And so in the second year,
I and from the beginning, at four months, someone said
you need to start dating again. At a year and
(30:04):
a half, someone said it was too soon. So everybody's
got an opinion. And what I would say about that is,
if there are people in your audience who are grieving,
follow your truth, Follow what you know to be right
for yourself, because nobody else knows it better. So in
(30:26):
answer to the question, I sort of wound up saying
I'll take that under consideration. Eventually I decided that I
wanted to I wanted the possibility of love again. I
couldn't actually conceive of it because I was with David
(30:47):
for twenty five years, and yet I wanted to try,
and so I got on Bumble, a dating app in
my fifties, with the idea that I needed to figure
out who I wanted what I wanted because I was
no longer the person who I was before I married Dave,
(31:10):
or who I was as his wife, as his widow.
I was completely different and I had no idea what
that person might love.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Well, and love did come your way. You met Wayne,
and you're still dating and going strong today. And the
thing is, when you meet somebody new, does it feel
sometimes like you're betraying the spouse that passed. Does it
(31:42):
feel strange holding another person? Does the body even feel different?
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Yeah? It felt. It was very difficult. It was the
most difficult passage of going through the grief because I
did feel like I was betraying David, and my head
knew he was gone, but my heart was less convinced,
(32:12):
and so I couldn't trust my own chemistry. So when
you start dating someone, typically, oh, I'm attracted to them,
and it's pretty simple, you are or you aren't. In
this case, I would feel desire. The grief would come
up at the same time, and I would push away,
which was very confusing for Wayne. There was a time
(32:39):
I was coming up on a bunch of really rough anniversaries,
and there was a time when I called Wayne up,
I think it was maybe September, and I said, look,
we should just stop dating until after the new year.
I've got a lot of tough anniversaries. I'm going to
be really awful and just cut it off till then.
(33:01):
And then two days later I called him up and
invited him to go to a museum, meet my mother
and see my cousin's film be shown. I mean, the
guy had whiplash.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
You're worth a whiplash, though, Allison. You're worth it. You're
a really, really beautiful soul. And I want to say that,
I really mean it. Although you and David had gone
through really hard times, recommitted your love and then the
loss of him, you have to this day taking care
(33:39):
of his mom, who's over one hundred And I'm just
curious what is that like, because you're still very much
involved in David's life and world and mother, but yet
starting a new life with Wayne. And I think a
lot of blended families even struggle with that.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Yes, it's been very complicated, So I have been with
the man I love Wayne for five years at this point,
and I take care of David's mom because I'm the
only relative in New York to do that. She's over
one hundred and one, and so I'm tied to Dave
(34:26):
while loving somebody else. And she and I had this
really awful, contentious relationship while Dave was alive, really competitive
for his time and attention. And yet we've grown to
love each other. But it's really painful to see her
(34:48):
memory starting to falter and her physical ability to start
to diminish, because it's sad for her. It's really hard
when she doesn't remember that her family is mostly all dead.
She's the last of her generation that her son is dead,
(35:08):
and I have to tell her again. And so there's
this sadness, there's this exhaustion, there's joy that we've created
this relationship. It's complicated, you know.
Speaker 21 (35:23):
In one on one hand.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
You you you make grieving sound possible, that one can
get through it, that that light that you see through
the crack. But on another hand, you definitely present that
it's very real and hard, and I'm just wondering, are
you finally able to laugh again? Are you free and
(35:51):
what finally allowed Alison to step into her truth.
Speaker 3 (35:59):
The most powerful thing I learned is that joy and
grief live together. And once I understood that, I was
free to laugh again because I could have the grief
rise and also be glad about something. And so I
(36:21):
think that the going through these losses has made me
realize more than anything else, how nuanced our emotions are,
and how if we try to have them one by one,
it just doesn't work. It's not the way it goes.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
And I laugh, Yeah, and that's a good thing. And
you know you have dedicated your life. Now we don't
have much time. But what if somebody is listening right
now who is a widow widower and they're not where
you are, What is the one, just one thing they
(37:01):
should do today to get that freedom feeling.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
I would say that the most difficult thing after I
lost David was trusting myself, trusting my heart, trusting my
mind because my memory went, trusting my body because I
couldn't didn't have energy. And so I would say that
(37:30):
in the absence of really knowing what to do next,
people step in with lots of unsolicited advice and I
would say, Okay, take that advice, listen to it, run
it through what you know is right for you, and
then trust yourself and do that.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
And then somewhere in there is finding your own truth
and being able to follow that. And you know you
created you know, bad widow, your book and all that,
and you've dedicated, like I said, your life to helping others.
And I'm just curious, Allison, because what does living full
(38:15):
out mean to you? You know, to be out of
that place of grief, but stepping into joy.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
Living full out means being brave. So doing things which
are hard moving through grief is not easy. Being willing
to love someone again in the face of feeling like
I was betraying Dave was not easy. Trusting my brain
(38:44):
to work so that I could work again was not easy.
So being brave enough to step through the steps to
get to trust again, to follow your own intuition and
your own knowing to what you're meant to be doing next.
(39:05):
So I guess it was it is be brave, do
things that are scary, Keep growing your capacity because it
drinks when you grief, and it doesn't come back automatically.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Well, I know you and Dave. You dedicated yourselves to
being fearless once you found out about his cancer, you
guys were making sure that you made every day count
that recommitment of your love together and truly you just
oosee this hope. And thank you so much for sharing
your testimony and just really being that light through the cracks.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Thanks so much Nancy for having me.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
On absolutely and for everybody listening today. Grief is hard,
it's sad, it feels heavy, but again, just like Allison,
and find joy at the same time. And when you
do that, you're obviously living full out. You're getting back
into life, but you're also allowing your ability to turn
(40:12):
that new chapter. And we would very much like to
welcome you to share your story, just like Allison did.
If you've gone through a hard time in your life,
you know we'd love to know what did you learn,
how did you get through it? So feel free to
reach out to us at connect at livingfullout dot com.
Make sure to share your contact info and what you
went through, and we'd love to have you on as
(40:34):
an inspirational guest. And today we are talking about following
your own truth as you step and leap towards a
life of living full out, So stay with us we'll
be right back after this break.
Speaker 12 (41:06):
To some people, the sound of a baby babbling doesn't
mean much, but that's not necessarily true. By six months,
they're combining vowels and consonants two, by nine months, they're
trying out different kinds of sounds, and by twelve months
(41:28):
they're babbling. Is beginning to take on some meaning, especially
if there's no babbling at all. Little to no babbling
by twelve months or later is just one of the
possible signs of autism and children. Early screening and intervention
can make a lifetime of difference and unlock a world
(41:50):
of possibilities. Take the first step at autism speaks dot org,
a public service announcement brought to you by Autism Speaks
and the AD Council.
Speaker 18 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 8 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 18 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin. UBB rays burn, and both
cause cancer, but the perfect sunscreen doesn't count if you
use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day?
Speaker 9 (42:33):
Wrong?
Speaker 18 (42:34):
Eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach, Nope. Anytime you're outside,
UB rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information.
(42:57):
A message from the US Food and Drug Admans.
Speaker 6 (43:01):
Right now, our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 7 (43:06):
I gotta tell you.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
I was nervous to talk to someone so different than me.
Speaker 9 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.
Speaker 6 (43:12):
Love has No Labels and One Small Step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 11 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 7 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash One Small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation.
Speaker 8 (43:41):
Of your own.
Speaker 9 (43:42):
I know one thing.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
This conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 6 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together by
having the courage to start a conversation at Love has
No Labels, dot com, slash one small step, a message
from story Core, Love has No Labels, and the ad Council.
Speaker 8 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 4 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand.
Speaker 9 (44:08):
I'm planning that tree.
Speaker 23 (44:09):
You remember, No matter how large or small your digging
project may be, no matter how urban or rural, you
must always call eight one one before any digging project.
Eight one to one is our national one call number,
alerting your local utility companies to come out and mark
any lines they have near your dig site. You must
(44:31):
call eight one to one at least two to three
business days before any digging project so you can avoid
hitting our essential buried utilities. This includes natural gas and
petroleum pipelines, electra communication cables, and water and sewer lines.
So before you do this or this, make sure you
(44:53):
do this. For digging projects big or small, make the
call to eight one to one, brought to you by
Common Ground, The alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
When it comes to following your own truth, you want
to make sure that you trust yourself. I know that's
easier said than done, but truly, when the time comes,
when you meet the moment, you will say the right things.
You will do the right action steps that are good
for you at the time, and at the end of
all of it, you just want to be able to
(45:24):
say I did my best, I followed my heart, I
followed my own truth.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. As
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Thank you so much for joining us today. I'm Nancy
and the Living Full Out Show, and we've been talking
about following your own truth. And the thing is is
this is just such an important topic because it doesn't
matter if you're dealing with a heartbreak or you know,
career worries or financial worries or just feeling like you're
(46:20):
going in circles. The truth is within you and you
just want to do your best. To diagnose and figure
out what that is. And I can only share from
my own personal examples of what that has been for me.
You know, it's interesting as you go through life. You know,
I don't know about everybody's path being the same, but
(46:42):
you for mine, the twenties were great. Oh every turn,
every stone was turned, every adventure was taken, and everything
I ever wanted to try, I did. I mean, I
didn't try being an astronaut, you know, I wasn't going
for those things. Or I was it didn't become a
race car driver, but I travel through Europe, I tried
different careers to see what was the best fit. I
(47:04):
tried different love relationships on to find out, you know,
what was you know, the right mate for me. And
then you know, the thirties come along, and then all
of a sudden, it's okay, this is a bit more real.
Now I've got to start thinking about my future a
bit more. And oh wait, now everyone's going to start
coupling up. WHOA, now they're getting married, WHOA, now they're
(47:27):
having kids. But not everybody, right, And so I think
around the thirties, you find that there's the relationship pressures
and the career pressures. And you know, for me around
that time in my thirties, I had started losing my
vision quite a bit in my early twenties, gave up
driving at twenty four. You know, so as much as
(47:48):
I was out there living adventures, I was also trying
to figure out, gosh, what do I see and what
do I not see? And you know, gosh, it kept changing,
Like every couple of years my vision would take a jump.
I really got to my thirties, you know, it was
really for me about what brings me joy and you know,
my career and motivating others. And it's when you do
(48:12):
when you figure out what you want to do for
a living, and you know that it's purposeful. It's a
glory line between work and play. And so for me,
I was just kind of playing along and just having
a great time. And when you go through life and
then you dip into your forties and then fifties and beyond,
you know, you start to see those who maybe got
(48:35):
married get divorced. Do you see those who had kids
love it still or not start to not love it
as much. You see people who made kind of aggressive
decisions do well, and some kind of went too far
out the box, and so every step of the way,
you literally just have to do the best that you
(48:56):
can do. And it's interesting when I look at my
life now I'm in my forties, I think to myself,
you know, what I have learned is that I had
to get really good at being alone and comfortable with
not checking boxes. And some of you might be raising
your hands going, yep, I know what she's talking about,
(49:18):
because it's easy to think that you have to have
a certain life, you have to check that box, be
that person in the world. But if we were all
the same, how boring would that be?
Speaker 9 (49:30):
Right?
Speaker 2 (49:31):
I mean, I can literally sit down with my friends
and I am signature Nancy through and through. You know,
I do things. I'm outgoing. I have kind of got
this career that has me pinging and ponging here and there.
And then have other friends who their day is very
much the same. They've got their kids, they've got their routines.
(49:53):
And I can be with those friends and we celebrate
all of our life choices and and we actually now
come together really a smorgasborg of different challenges and wins.
But we had to get through the checking of the
box stage of life before we could finally get to
this place of ugh, you know, all of our challenges
(50:15):
are different and we can help each other. And so
wherever you are in your life, if you're still in
that twenties period where you're trying on different shoes and
different life experiences, or maybe just maybe you're further down
the line your sixties seventies and you've got some regrets,
or you wish you could have a couple doovers. You know,
(50:38):
I really want everyone to say, you know what, don't
ask for those doovers, because truly I think everything unfolds
the way it should be. And I really actually say
that with regards to even my vision loss. I sometimes
think to myself, Man, if I could drive, what will
kind of car would that be? Or it'd be so
(50:59):
much easier if I could just, you know, do this
with ease or do that with ease. But then I
think to myself, you know, you can't have it both ways.
I mean, I have this beautiful, handsome, oh he's so
yummy labador, my guide dog in my life, But I
couldn't have Frost my guide dog if I wasn't legally blind. Now,
(51:20):
sure I could have another Labador, which i've had labs
in the past, but I'm telling you they weren't Frost.
It took being on this journey for it to unfold
the way it did. And so to me, living your
truth is being able to celebrate and awake and narrate
your story, and so I know that all of you
(51:42):
can as well. Just know that the entire Living full
Out family is always here to support you every step
of the way. We really want to hear from you,
and if you've got an inspirational story, we want to
share it. Just reach out to us at connect at
livingfollout dot com. Let us know what you went through,
how you got through it. Make sure to stay motivated.
(52:03):
Go to the app store download the Living full Out
Show app, and We'll be beside you every step of
the way. Let us always Here's to all of you,
Living full Out. Thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to The Living Full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfollout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out
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