June 28, 2025 • 52 mins
Episode: 2025.11.26
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to turn pain into purpose. Perhaps you end up dreading the workday ahead. Maybe you lost your business. Join Nancy as she discusses how despite adverse situations you can find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Our first caller Virginia wonders how to enjoy life despite her worsening eye condition. Nancy advises her to find a support group that specializes in vision loss. She also recommended Virginia to be more honest with friends and family about feeling disconnected. Tune in to hear how being truthful to others leads you to live a happy life.
Our inspirational guest Linda Perez went through domestic violence that she eventually turned into finding her purpose. Linda survived an abusive ex-boyfriend that tried to kill her. Later on, she was stuck in a marriage for 15 years where she was desperate for approval. After her divorce, she began to explore herself for the first time and found her true calling of guiding others through trauma. Tune in to learn how Linda inspires others to overcome adversity.
Perhaps you feel exhausted from dealing with constant challenges. Consider asking yourself what these specific obstacles are trying to teach you. Viewing this period in your life as polishing time will lead you to find your purpose and live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
The Living Full Out show with Nancy Solari encourages you to turn pain into purpose. Perhaps you end up dreading the workday ahead. Maybe you lost your business. Join Nancy as she discusses how despite adverse situations you can find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Our first caller Virginia wonders how to enjoy life despite her worsening eye condition. Nancy advises her to find a support group that specializes in vision loss. She also recommended Virginia to be more honest with friends and family about feeling disconnected. Tune in to hear how being truthful to others leads you to live a happy life.
Our inspirational guest Linda Perez went through domestic violence that she eventually turned into finding her purpose. Linda survived an abusive ex-boyfriend that tried to kill her. Later on, she was stuck in a marriage for 15 years where she was desperate for approval. After her divorce, she began to explore herself for the first time and found her true calling of guiding others through trauma. Tune in to learn how Linda inspires others to overcome adversity.
Perhaps you feel exhausted from dealing with constant challenges. Consider asking yourself what these specific obstacles are trying to teach you. Viewing this period in your life as polishing time will lead you to find your purpose and live full out.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-full-out-show--1474350/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My name is
Nancy Celari, and today we're talking about turning pain into purpose. Now,
I know the four letter word pain is not one
that we love to settle in too long, but truly,
when we're in the places where we're kind of broken down,
we've hit our rock bottoms of all rockbottoms. Remember, you
(00:40):
can only go up from there, truly, and what you
can learn along the way about yourself and your ability
to be proud of navigating, turning a new page, being resourceful,
and then of course pain it forward is where the
purpose comes in. So we're going to be talking a
lot about that today. Also, I want to make sure
you stay with us our inspirational guests coming up. Linda
(01:02):
Perez and just the ins and outs of different relationships
that she had and many of them in the realm
of domestic violence and abuse. In many different ways, but
she did finally tap into her happy ending, and interestingly enough,
he's very different than all her other relationships. So what
(01:22):
does that look like? So also, if you want to
hear today's show again or listen to any of our episodes,
you can do it a couple different ways. You can
go to livingfullout dot com. All of the episodes are.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Right there for you.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Or if you're on the go a lot, just go
to the app store download the Living Full Out Show
app and you can listen to us on the go.
And as always, if you have questions on today's topic
and you're just kind of wrestling with where to go
or how to get out of a point in your life,
reach out to me at connect at livingfullout dot com
and we'll make sure you get the support you need.
(01:57):
Now am getting word from our producer that we do
a listener on the line. We're going to go check
in with them. Hello, welcome to the Living Full Out Show.
Hey there, Hi there, How can I help you?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Well, I'm sure.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
You can relate to this, hopefully. I don't cry when
I say this, but I have been having some I
have an eye condition that's gonna make my eyesight deteriorate,
and there's been some times lately where it's been a
lot worse. And when it is worse, I mean it's
(02:31):
a lot worse than even my normal, not good normal.
And when it is really blurry and I feel like
I can barely see, it disengages me. And to the
extent that recently, when it's happened, I'll be with either
my husband or Raman and I feel like I can't exist.
(02:55):
I literally feel like I wish.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
I could just disappear.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
It's like, if you can't be happy with yourself, you
don't want to be happy with other people.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
So you're you're asking really really good questions and it's
not even in a question, because it's in an emotion.
And those are real emotions. And one of the things
that I share a lot with folks when I do
(03:27):
individual calls with them is how you feel right now,
the emotions, their energy, emotion, and you have to honor that,
you have to let that out. And sometimes I don't
know if you ever do this, but you might say nothing.
(03:48):
You might that fade away feeling is because they're all
those fears, those emotions, they're trapped inside, and what makes
somebody disappear here within themselves is they don't feel heard.
They don't feel heard even to themselves. And it's one
(04:09):
you can actually start to talk. And if talking turns
into crying, if talking turns into anger, it's that purging
that allows you not to lose yourself. It's interesting with
my vision loss, in which the community knows over the
(04:30):
years it happened to every two years it would take
a jump and it would get worse and worse. And
today I'm at the point where, although I have my
beautiful guy dog Frost, you know, it's just pretty much
light and dark and that's the bulk of what I see.
But it's interesting that for a living I talk. It's
(04:50):
interesting that throughout my coaching and speaking, and you know
a part of my story is talking about what I
don't see and how I navigate life. That has been
therapeutic for me and so many others. And when I
say so many others, one of the things I would
(05:11):
really encourage you to do is Number one, perhaps get
somebody that you can talk to that isn't necessarily your
husband or your mother, but somebody that you can just
really purge these ideas out to. And if it is
(05:32):
somebody who is also visually impaired blind, it's going to
be better because the person who isn't. It's not like
they can't relate, but that fading away, that feeling like
you can't connect, it's because you're not being heard. That
(05:53):
people don't get it. And if they don't get it,
then they don't understand. They can't hear you.
Speaker 5 (06:00):
So number one, you want to push them away, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Well, and I don't.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
Really want to do that, but that he helps me feel.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Like, be careful of that. And the reason why I
say that is I believe in therapy. I believe in coaching,
and a lot of times the reason why those are
so effective is it's a nat It's a neutral sounding board,
somebody that you can go to and let all that
sad and ugly and you know, got insecure feelings out.
(06:33):
The other thing though, the reason why I say that,
it might also be good to plug in with others
who are where you are. So while I don't have
a lot of free time, there are so many great
organizations that I plug into and when I'm around, for example,
I'll give a shout out to the Brill Institute. Okay,
(06:55):
can't plug into them often because my schedule's so busy.
But it is so fascinating because it is an organization
made up a blind and visually impaired people that pay
it forward. Today we're talking about pain and to purpose.
It is all people that teach people what they've learned.
So I remember going to a guitar class. Couldn't stay
(07:16):
a long with schedule got busy, but it was a
guy who was teaching guitar to those who couldn't see either,
and he was a student of Brail himself or there.
There was a time where I really wanted to figure
out some makeup tips and I went to the Braill
Institute and couldn't see my own face, right, So this
(07:39):
person helped me understand the feel of how to do
certain things. I mean we're talking like putting on eyelashes
to to you know, different facial you know, makeups and
bronzers and blushes. Now let's get back to you for
a second. I wouldn't push away your family, your husband,
(08:01):
your mom, because they're going to have their own things.
There's things that they might be thinking that they're not
even telling you about. What if they have something and
they choose not to burden you. They choose not to
talk to you, and when they were to fade away
(08:22):
on you, would.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
You like that?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
No? Okay, now, so for you, it's because you are
losing your vision. For them, it could be memory loss,
it could be self esteem, it could be chronic pain,
it could be anything. But you have to turn the
tables and say, I don't will I will give you
(08:49):
the best of me. I won't fade away on you
if you don't fade away on me. Now, the last
thing I want to tell you is that when you're
having those moments where you feel like you just are,
you can't connect. They're talking about something, maybe they're even
looking at a picture and you can't see the picture.
(09:12):
I want you in that moment to just make sure
that you fall into gratitude. There's the saying God will
never give us more than we can handle. For some reason,
you were given this, and you were given this versus
chronic pain, depression, other disabilities, because it's what you can handle.
(09:36):
You may not feel that on the days you're disconnecting,
the days you're fading away, but this is something you
can do. And one of the things that I've thought
about a lot over the years and trust me, I
ran into a door the other day and knocked my
tooth out. Then cook, I got it fixed. Being blind
is not easy. But to me, I love music, I
(09:59):
love he I love you. To me, I love stretching
my toes in the morning. I love walking. I don't
like exercise too much, but I like the physical. So
for me, a wheelchair would be hard. So you just
kind of have to allow yourself time to purge, maybe
get a coach, maybe therapy, allow yourself to turn the
(10:20):
tables and know that you won't fade away on them,
just any more than you wouldn't want them to fade
on you. And then just stay with gratitude.
Speaker 6 (10:30):
But if you do.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
That, it will get better. Won't be perfect, but life
is not meant to be perfect. It's about today's theme
turning pain into purpose. So you want to just stay strong.
We're going to be praying for you, thinking of you,
and for everybody else listening. Let's love on her today,
and when we come back, we're going to be talking
(10:53):
with our inspirational guests, Linda Perez. Stay with us, we'll
be back.
Speaker 7 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy, so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org. Brought to
you by the AMA, CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 8 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 9 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 9 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 10 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 8 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 9 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistake.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Oh well.
Speaker 11 (12:21):
Life doesn't always give you time to change the outcome,
but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and a few
healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active, stopping smoking,
and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes before it
leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 8 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 11 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
Prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 9 (12:43):
Warning? The cap is loose on that cat young.
Speaker 8 (12:47):
Oh, don't wait.
Speaker 11 (12:48):
You have the power to change the outcome. Visit do
I have Prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Today?
Speaker 8 (12:53):
That's do I have Prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 11 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes awareness partners.
Speaker 7 (13:00):
Hehu, oh brah, that's buzzed. Oh yeah, yeah, he's starting
with the woots.
Speaker 12 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 13 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 10 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 11 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too.
Speaker 11 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.
Speaker 8 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True what you're out?
Speaker 9 (13:34):
You got me?
Speaker 14 (13:35):
Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 15 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home Safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's Nfamilyfire dot Org, brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the ad Council.
Speaker 16 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the.
Speaker 13 (14:05):
Lingo Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 16 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot Org. A public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Soilary. As
a life coach, Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You could ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Thank you for joining us today. I'm Nancy Silari and
this is the Living Full Out Show, and today we're
talking about turning pain into purpose and how do you
how do you put that into action? How do you
manifest how you could give more and be more and
contribute to others well. Our inspirational guest today at Linda
Prez is such a great example of what it means
to live full out and really fight through those hard
(15:56):
times in life to figure out who she is and
what she wants. So I'd like to welcome Linda to
the show.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Hello, Nancy, thank you so much for having me. I'm
so excited.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I am so happy to have you as well. Now,
I'll be honest, I wish we were talking about how
you just won the lottery and what are you going
to do with it? But sometimes I believe we have
won the lottery and we've all known a lot lottery
because of our growth. And there's a lot of people
that stall and get stuck and don't have the patchwork
(16:28):
of life experience to really know that they're living a
high purpose and today you are, which we'll get to
in a bit, but I want to take our audience
back a bit. So you grew up in the early
years of your life six and earlier, and pretty much
a chaotic home. Your dad was the aggressor in the home,
(16:51):
and when your mom did decide to leave, you were
actually more grateful that she did, like you would rather
been that they divorced than stayed together.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Why was that, you know, Nancy, I love my parents
so much. I love my dad as well, and I
want to say that because you know, I always now
that I've had the growth myself, I understand that there
were things that both my parents learned while they were
a child growing up, so their values and beliefs and
(17:27):
what they saw was normal to them. So it was
just a very chaotic environment. And what I saw was
physical abuse to my mother, and I just really felt
that's what I saw and that was what became what
love was to me. So as a child growing up
(17:48):
in a domestic violence home, that was a normal thing
that carried through my adult life.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
You know, I did in some ways as much as do.
You loved your dad, You know, it must have been
kind of complicated and confusing, but yet a breath of
fresh air when your mom, you know, fairly quickly after
leaving your dad, met your stepdad. But what was it
about him that finally made you feel safe?
Speaker 4 (18:18):
You know, when my stepdad came into my life, and
I say this, I'm very grateful that I've had the
opportunity to have two dads in my life. When my
stepdad came into my life, and he's been in my
life since I was seven years old, the way that
I saw him and my mom interact with each other,
the way that I saw them love each other and
(18:39):
do things with each other, was when I became a
teenager and all of the You know, as I started,
I'm like, these are relationship goals. Although I saw that
I still made bad choices in my life.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
All right, let's now you took off the band aid, Linda.
Now we got to talk about the bad choice, okay.
But you know what, it's interesting though that you did
have that loving example between your mom and your stepdad.
Like you saw chaos, so you knew what that looked like,
but you also saw love and you knew what that
looked like. But let's leap to your high school boyfriend
(19:19):
that you had stayed with, you know, into your college years.
And I know he you know, he drank and but
he didn't treat you good. But you stayed for so long,
I mean into the college years. Why did you stay?
Speaker 12 (19:36):
You know when I I think in my mind, what
I've learned about myself now is that I was always
looking for that love from a man.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
I saw my dad be you know, men to me
became liars, cheaters, and abusers. But you still had to
be with your find your man, find your husband, get married,
have kids, all of those things. So it's like, if
this was a relationship, this is how relationships are. It's
(20:12):
it's not good but it is part of what your
future plan would be. So I accepted those bad behaviors
because I thought that was normal. I thought that's how
relationships might be. What I saw with my stepdad and
my mom was rare. I knew it was attainable, and
(20:32):
they didn't have a perfect relationship, but he was never
abusive to my mother, and I continued to choose relationships
that were abusive mentally, verbally, emotionally, and physically.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And along that way, are you are you out kind
of outside your own body, or are you having conversations
kind of yelling at yourself in the mirror, like why
do you stay?
Speaker 4 (20:58):
You know, It's like I was that person the first
time I saw one of my teenage friends get beat
up by her boyfriend and me and my other girlfriend
had to go to the hospital to get her out.
I saw that, and even though I saw that and
I said, I'll never let that happen to me, right,
(21:20):
the physical, the bruised eyes, all of those things that
will never happen to me, And then year's journey, it's
happening to me. But my abuser was also very strategic.
I was working on my career, so my bruises were hidden.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Well, and obviously within your Hispanic culture and all that.
I mean, you know your parents grew up. It was generational.
Your dad, your biological dad, was even a police officer.
I mean in some ways it's like was talking or
saying anything even gonna help.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Exactly. And that's one of the things I wanted. I'm
glad you brought that up, Nancy. My dad was a
police officer, and we know that that is very it's
very high with police officers, and it's very scary for
victims and people who are going through that situation to
even call the police because you don't know if they're
(22:16):
going to be on your side. And the police get
tired of coming to her phone to calls like that
because they get tired and it's like she's going to stay,
she's going to go back, and all of those things.
So it is such a vicious cycle that so many
different people, so many different occupations need to understand and
(22:39):
know how to deal with it well.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
And I would imagine just self esteem wise, it just
kind of nipped away at you. I mean, you're the
greatest abuser. We haven't talked about yet, but it's one
of those things where you know, that foundation is so important,
and even though you had chaotic matched up with loving,
(23:03):
it still led you to, just like you said, making
decisions that were not the best and part of that
could have been again because you felt like you were
trying to start that family and have that dream and
this is just the way it is. So Linda, stay
with us and everybody listening today. This is a very
(23:23):
heavy topic. But if you are being abused, you know,
make sure that you reach out to us, make sure
that you seek the help that you need, because domestic
violence is a real thing, but it happens way more
than even gets, you know, acknowledged or documented. So if
you're going through that, please do reach out. We're always
(23:44):
here for you. And again we're going to be coming
right back. Today we are talking about how to turn
pain into purpose. But when you're doing that, you're able
to truly, for the first time, maybe in a long time,
live full out.
Speaker 17 (24:03):
Today, in school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I
learned that no one likes me. In English, I learned
that I'm disgusting, and in physics I learned that I'm
a loser.
Speaker 14 (24:16):
Today in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying.
Speaker 18 (24:26):
Today.
Speaker 19 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch,
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In Chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 17 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 20 (24:42):
And in math, I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 17 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 8 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 20 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot gov. A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 21 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to livingfullout dot com. Forward slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot com.
(25:25):
Forward slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe in you,
and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 22 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, That's who.
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear Never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the ad Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov. Slash kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 23 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma, more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at Pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 13 (27:04):
It's slipping, coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 22 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 10 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I get it.
Speaker 10 (27:16):
Flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
with a monitor.
Speaker 14 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 12 (27:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (27:37):
It's slipping, coffit check, cop to doctor, knowlne share.
Speaker 10 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
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Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at Livingfoullout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Welcome back. I'm Nancy Silari and this is the Living
Full Out Show and today we're talking about turning pain
into purpose with our inspirational guest Linda Prez And truly
I'm so grateful that she's speaking on the topic of
domestic violence and how we navigate out of those relationships.
So welcome back, Linda.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
Thank you, Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Nancy, well, and you were so great to establish for
us in the last segment, just kind of what growing
up was like for you. But ultimately you did find
yourself in a relationship that was physical and you eventually
saw those red flags come up. You tried to, you know,
(29:03):
weather the storm, but you got to a point where
it was like a flip the switch, the turn the page,
like it was you had known this guy for so
long and then like overnight, it amped up quickly. What
was the defining moment where you knew you had to leave.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
The defining moment for me, Nancy, And thank you for
asking that question, because, as I said, as we spoke before,
it's that that has been a difficult thing for me
to get to and to talk about. But my defining
moment was the night that I thought I was going
to lose my life. I had. I've had the worst abuse,
(29:48):
you know, being hit, kids, punched, all the things, and
this night was with a pillow over my face, and
it was I really thought that I was going to
take my last breath. And that was my moment where
(30:08):
I knew that I had a bigger purpose and that
my life mattered and I needed to make a change.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Yeah, and I can tell there's still sadness in your voice,
because that's it's scary. It is a imprint on your
heart in your mind, but you did survive. And what
I think is so interesting, and I think sometimes for
everybody listening, I mean, we can want a relationship, we
(30:40):
can try to do our best to will it to
work and stay for the kids, or stay because we
want to have kids, or whatever that happy ending looks like.
But it's also inspiring though to me that you know,
after that relationship. You did leave. But after that, you know,
UKU said, that's it.
Speaker 10 (30:58):
I'm done.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I've had a All men are jerks, but you didn't.
You You did rally and you were in a relationship
for like fifteen years, yes, and you were a loving
mom to his kids and all that. But he wasn't
physically abusive. But what made you What had you leave
that relationship?
Speaker 4 (31:22):
You know, infidelity, but infidelity, but which was surprising because
I really thought that that was my forever. We had
been planted in the church and all of the things,
and I he was never physically abusive to me. But
when I look at that relationship, I see how desperate
(31:46):
I was for his approval, for his acknowledgement of my beauty,
of my everything that I've done for you know, his kids.
I realized that I was in this continuous cycle of
trying to prove myself so that he would love me
(32:07):
and he would want me, and abuse wouldn't be there,
and all the things that my parents were it would
not be with this. And I found that I was
always the one giving, and I lost my confidence. You know.
It was just it was a very emotionally disturbing time
(32:31):
for me, and I didn't even realize how I was
still in that abusive cycle, but I was allowing that
for myself.
Speaker 5 (32:41):
You know.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
It's it's great, though, that you eventually woke up, because
you could have stayed. You could have stayed fifteen, could
have been twenty, could have been forever.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
But when you would have stayed with his rule.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Well, but when you woke up, you you really woke up.
I mean, there was a period of time where you
finally turned the spotlight on you, your friends, enjoying life
and interestingly enough, you know, when one door closes, another
one opens. But what's so interesting about your current relationship
(33:21):
is he's even culturally different than everything you you dated
and married before. Yes, yes, share with us about that.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
You know, I never thought that. I really thought after
my divorce, when I got divorced at forty five, I
really thought that was a very traumatic time for me,
and I thought that maybe this is maybe I'm meant
to be single. And really, during that time, Nancy is
(33:55):
when I really grew. Linda got to learn who Linda was.
I got to go on trips with my girlfriends, take
long weekends, come home, and if I wanted to have
popcorn and dinner for wine. I could do that. If
I wanted to take three hour bubble baths, I could
do that and not worry about anything. So during that
(34:16):
growth period for me, now I met this wonderful man
who we have both been through so much and now
we get to enjoy the best of each other. Communication,
the trust, the support. I never thought I would have that,
and I have that now. But I believe, Nancy, I
(34:37):
have that because I was ready for a healthy relationship
after I did some work on myself as well.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
And that is so important. And I know that there
was an event that you were at all about Champagne
and pearls, a woman's event, and people were bragging about you,
just how Pow said if you were, and how much
you had you know, taken pain and put it in
the purpose. And as much as it was great to
(35:07):
hear those words from everybody at the event, it was
a text from your mom. Ironically, her name is Linda
that meant the most to you. What did your mom say?
Speaker 4 (35:20):
My mom and I shared with you, Nancy, that my
mom is not very good at communicating. She'll say that
all the time. I'm not good at communicating like you,
And she sent me a taxi because that's easier for
her to communicate.
Speaker 18 (35:33):
And she just said how proud she was of the
woman that I am today and who I have become.
And what is so important about that is she doesn't
even realize that it's because of her and because of
how I saw her navigate a lot of things when
(35:56):
I was a child.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Yeah, I mean that's my mom is one of my
best friends. So I definitely get that. And part of
your journey has been that survivor. But part of surviving
is forgiveness. And where do you stand? Did you eventually
forgive your dad? Have you forgiven your abusers?
Speaker 4 (36:23):
Absolutely, Nancy, I believe I have shared. I'm very grounded
in my faith and forgiveness is a hard thing, but
it is a necessary thing. And forgiveness to me, it
doesn't mean that I forget anything that's ever happened, but
it allows me to forgive those things that happened to
(36:43):
me and allow me to be to grow from that
and be healthy. And for that person, because I truly
know and believe I've seen it in my family through
the generational cycles, is you have to forgive that person
because they are the way they are is because of
(37:06):
how they were brought up, how they saw things. Maybe
they had a traumatic you know, childhood. Maybe my grandparents,
who were very traditional Mexican family, didn't know how to
show love to their children like we see today. You know,
there's so many parenting things today, but you didn't really
have that when I was growing up, or when my
(37:28):
parents were growing up. We didn't talk about therapy. We
didn't even know what therapy was.
Speaker 9 (37:34):
You know.
Speaker 10 (37:36):
Yeah, I mean, I mean, it.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Is so important that people get out what is the
pain in them, and therapy is so good for that.
And I'm just curious. Linda's we kind of round out
today's story, your story, your journey. It's so heavy, it's triggering,
and I hear that in your voice. Do you relive it?
(38:02):
We're talking today about pain and to purpose. Why do
you do this podcast? Why do you relive telling your
story when you speak? Because it is clearly painful.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
It is very painful. But I also know that my
purpose is everything that I've been through there is a reason,
and it is for me to use my voice so
that I can help someone else, not just an individual,
but a family. As I mentioned, these generational cycles that
happen in families. I want to be able to use
(38:37):
my voice and my experience, and it is hard, and
that's why I have to have my own self care
to do what I do every day to be able
to use my voice and speak out about this, especially
for our children, and how important healthy relationships are. But
it is important for me, Nancy, to take all of that.
(38:59):
I was a victim, but I am a survivor, and
being a survivor doesn't mean that I get to feel
that or that I feel that way every day. It
means that I do what I need to do to
make sure that I keep going. Because in life, we
can always fall. We wake up in the morning, we're
not feeling good, we're sad today. We have to do
(39:19):
what we have to do to get our mind back
on track because it's so easy to fall into what's comfortable.
What I would say to everybody is you're not alone.
There are so many people who are affected by abuse
by violence. One in four women and one in seven
men will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime. If
(39:40):
we do not start talking about this and educating our
families and bringing awareness, and if you think about those statistics,
that means that you someone you know, someone you love
has or will be affected by this by domestic violence
if we don't start educating and talking about this to
our families. And because of that, Nancy, I want to
(40:03):
use my voice, and I have taken my pain and
turned it into a purpose.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
I am so proud of you. I mean, I know,
I'm like one hundred people deep in proud of you,
because you know, your mom's front of the line, and
then Nancy's you know, right there behind her. But truly,
it is scary. You've done it, You've found your happy ending.
But it took patience, it took commitment. So thank you
so much, Linda for sharing your story with us, and
(40:33):
for everybody else today we are talking about turning pain
into purpose. It doesn't happen overnight. You know, journeys are
meant to unfold, So hang in there. If you're wondering
I don't know my purpose, then stay with us throughout
this show. We'll find it, we'll identify it, and we'll
take action together. We'll be back to some people.
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Speaker 2 (45:03):
When it comes to turning pain into purpose, I want
you to get excited about that. Let the past not
be for nothing. Let the times that you failed or
felt picked on not be moments that are defeating you,
but once where you can rally and leap away and
say I got it. I get it now, I can
(45:24):
do something with this. I can make somebody else's life better. Truly,
when you have that state of mind, that focus, you're
gonna live full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary as
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy,
thank you again.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
For joining us today. We've been talking about turning pain
into purpose, which I know pain seems like yuck, let's
not talk about that purpose. I'm all on board, but
you have to sometimes why I shouldn't even say, sometimes
you have to go through pain to really sometimes identify
your purpose. And the reason why that is is there's
(46:20):
a lot of people that I meet you out and
about as well as I interview. And while I don't
wish anybody to have heartbreak, you're talking abuse could be
a divorce, could be a loss of grieving any of that.
I don't wish that upon people. But I know that
once they go through it, and although it may be painful,
(46:42):
it may be expensive, it may take time, it does
round you out, it does polish you into the diamond
that you are. And it's that time and that pressure
how diamonds are created and made. So rather than feeling like,
oh I wish I didn't have to go through that pain,
look at that as polishing time. Look at that as
(47:03):
time where it's being revealed how you can show up
in the world and really give and make a difference.
And I'll tell you what again, there's a lot of
people I meet in my coaching practice that they're coming
to me not because of a pain. They're coming to
me because they don't have that purpose. They don't have
(47:25):
anything to wake up for in the morning, they don't
feel like they've made a difference. They could disappear tomorrow
and that's okay. But that's not okay. And so if
you fall into that group, let today be the day
that you journal. Let today be the day that you
just let it out and think about the times that
(47:46):
you have been confronted with something hard. And again you
might say, I've life's been perfect, don't have anything hard
I bet you do. We all have had those moments
where we've been picked on, we fail, you know, we regretted,
we were in denial, we hoped people didn't notice, on
and on and on. And it's interesting because being legally blind,
(48:11):
you know, a lot of a lot of who I
am is out there in public. I mean when I
go let's just say, I go to the doctor, right,
and I'm filling out a form because I mean I
can't see the form. You know, I have this person
asking me every medical condition and do you have this?
Do you have that? And you know pretty much I'm
healthy other than blindness, but kind of an open book, right,
(48:35):
And I'll be honest, you know, I do think I
step out the door all put together in the Nancy way.
But there has been a time, okay more than one
time where maybe I walked out the door and someone
was like, huh, shirts, shirts inside out, dresses backwards, all right, well,
who made you the fashion god? I might say, Well,
(48:57):
the thing is that's not perfect. So the goal is
not to look good. The goal is not to be perfect.
The goal is to have stories. The goal is to
be relatable. And the more you have imperfections, the more
you actually have heartbreaks in your life, the more genuine, authentic,
(49:19):
relatable you end up being. For all, you know, if
you're out there looking for that love of your life,
it may be the imperfections, the heartbreaks that make that
person that you really want to keep dating or marry
one day to be like, Wow, this is somebody who
will get me because they've been through it too. Or
(49:40):
I always say this. When I'm interviewing people. I look
for that's called a breakout moment. So what I am
interviewing someone for a job, I always ask them, so,
why do you want to work at? Living full out?
Why do you want to be here? And sometimes they
tell me what I want to hear, and that's just
kind of wonk wonk wonk. The breakout moment is when
(50:02):
somebody says, you know, I really get what your company's about.
I have depression, my mom is blind. You know, I've
battled with anxiety. At that moment, as the interviewer, I'm
leaning in because I'm thinking, Wow, what you have gone through.
You know, fingers to keyboard, you know, hand holding the
(50:24):
pen to paper. You're going to create from your heart.
You're going to do great things on you know, with
our company, you know, on behalf of the company from
what you've gone through. So let today be the day
that we celebrate those pains. Yay for pains. Very rarely
are we going to say that, even that chronic pain.
(50:44):
If you're like like me sometimes holding my lower back.
You know, I'm not really that old, but sometimes I
feel like I'm, you know, forty years older. You know
when when you're having that body pain again, how many
people have chronic pain a lot? How many people have
had that point where they're like, oh, I need a
tile it all, I need an advil a lot. Again,
(51:07):
there's camaraderie, you know, in what we've gone through together.
And if you are one of those folks that doesn't
have that camaraderie. I say this a lot on shows
because loneliness is a real thing and that can be
pain all on its own. I want you to let
(51:27):
this be the day that you walk out your front door,
not on the phone, not with your ear bits in
your ear, but be intentional with meeting people today and
you will. It's just sometimes we get loaded with the busy,
we get loaded with the looking good, we get loaded
down by the past. But you can't reveal the purpose
(51:48):
if you're stuck in that place. But when you do
tap into your purpose, all watch out world, You're going
to make a huge difference. And guess what Living full
Out is about? Taking action. That's what all of our
episodes are here for. So again, reach out to us
at livingfollout dot com if you need to hear this
(52:09):
show again or any others, because we want you to
have that boost of motivation inspiration so that you can
do what live full out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to the Living full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfullout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
You're listening the Living Full Out with Nancy Solari. As
a professional motivational speaker, Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfollout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to the Living Full Out Show. My name is
Nancy Celari, and today we're talking about turning pain into purpose. Now,
I know the four letter word pain is not one
that we love to settle in too long, but truly,
when we're in the places where we're kind of broken down,
we've hit our rock bottoms of all rockbottoms. Remember, you
(00:40):
can only go up from there, truly, and what you
can learn along the way about yourself and your ability
to be proud of navigating, turning a new page, being resourceful,
and then of course pain it forward is where the
purpose comes in. So we're going to be talking a
lot about that today. Also, I want to make sure
you stay with us our inspirational guests coming up. Linda
(01:02):
Perez and just the ins and outs of different relationships
that she had and many of them in the realm
of domestic violence and abuse. In many different ways, but
she did finally tap into her happy ending, and interestingly enough,
he's very different than all her other relationships. So what
(01:22):
does that look like? So also, if you want to
hear today's show again or listen to any of our episodes,
you can do it a couple different ways. You can
go to livingfullout dot com. All of the episodes are.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Right there for you.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Or if you're on the go a lot, just go
to the app store download the Living Full Out Show
app and you can listen to us on the go.
And as always, if you have questions on today's topic
and you're just kind of wrestling with where to go
or how to get out of a point in your life,
reach out to me at connect at livingfullout dot com
and we'll make sure you get the support you need.
(01:57):
Now am getting word from our producer that we do
a listener on the line. We're going to go check
in with them. Hello, welcome to the Living Full Out Show.
Hey there, Hi there, How can I help you?
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Well, I'm sure.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
You can relate to this, hopefully. I don't cry when
I say this, but I have been having some I
have an eye condition that's gonna make my eyesight deteriorate,
and there's been some times lately where it's been a
lot worse. And when it is worse, I mean it's
(02:31):
a lot worse than even my normal, not good normal.
And when it is really blurry and I feel like
I can barely see, it disengages me. And to the
extent that recently, when it's happened, I'll be with either
my husband or Raman and I feel like I can't exist.
(02:55):
I literally feel like I wish.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
I could just disappear.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
It's like, if you can't be happy with yourself, you
don't want to be happy with other people.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
So you're you're asking really really good questions and it's
not even in a question, because it's in an emotion.
And those are real emotions. And one of the things
that I share a lot with folks when I do
(03:27):
individual calls with them is how you feel right now,
the emotions, their energy, emotion, and you have to honor that,
you have to let that out. And sometimes I don't
know if you ever do this, but you might say nothing.
(03:48):
You might that fade away feeling is because they're all
those fears, those emotions, they're trapped inside, and what makes
somebody disappear here within themselves is they don't feel heard.
They don't feel heard even to themselves. And it's one
(04:09):
you can actually start to talk. And if talking turns
into crying, if talking turns into anger, it's that purging
that allows you not to lose yourself. It's interesting with
my vision loss, in which the community knows over the
(04:30):
years it happened to every two years it would take
a jump and it would get worse and worse. And
today I'm at the point where, although I have my
beautiful guy dog Frost, you know, it's just pretty much
light and dark and that's the bulk of what I see.
But it's interesting that for a living I talk. It's
(04:50):
interesting that throughout my coaching and speaking, and you know
a part of my story is talking about what I
don't see and how I navigate life. That has been
therapeutic for me and so many others. And when I
say so many others, one of the things I would
(05:11):
really encourage you to do is Number one, perhaps get
somebody that you can talk to that isn't necessarily your
husband or your mother, but somebody that you can just
really purge these ideas out to. And if it is
(05:32):
somebody who is also visually impaired blind, it's going to
be better because the person who isn't. It's not like
they can't relate, but that fading away, that feeling like
you can't connect, it's because you're not being heard. That
(05:53):
people don't get it. And if they don't get it,
then they don't understand. They can't hear you.
Speaker 5 (06:00):
So number one, you want to push them away, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Well, and I don't.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
Really want to do that, but that he helps me feel.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Like, be careful of that. And the reason why I
say that is I believe in therapy. I believe in coaching,
and a lot of times the reason why those are
so effective is it's a nat It's a neutral sounding board,
somebody that you can go to and let all that
sad and ugly and you know, got insecure feelings out.
(06:33):
The other thing though, the reason why I say that,
it might also be good to plug in with others
who are where you are. So while I don't have
a lot of free time, there are so many great
organizations that I plug into and when I'm around, for example,
I'll give a shout out to the Brill Institute. Okay,
(06:55):
can't plug into them often because my schedule's so busy.
But it is so fascinating because it is an organization
made up a blind and visually impaired people that pay
it forward. Today we're talking about pain and to purpose.
It is all people that teach people what they've learned.
So I remember going to a guitar class. Couldn't stay
(07:16):
a long with schedule got busy, but it was a
guy who was teaching guitar to those who couldn't see either,
and he was a student of Brail himself or there.
There was a time where I really wanted to figure
out some makeup tips and I went to the Braill
Institute and couldn't see my own face, right, So this
(07:39):
person helped me understand the feel of how to do
certain things. I mean we're talking like putting on eyelashes
to to you know, different facial you know, makeups and
bronzers and blushes. Now let's get back to you for
a second. I wouldn't push away your family, your husband,
(08:01):
your mom, because they're going to have their own things.
There's things that they might be thinking that they're not
even telling you about. What if they have something and
they choose not to burden you. They choose not to
talk to you, and when they were to fade away
(08:22):
on you, would.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
You like that?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
No? Okay, now, so for you, it's because you are
losing your vision. For them, it could be memory loss,
it could be self esteem, it could be chronic pain,
it could be anything. But you have to turn the
tables and say, I don't will I will give you
(08:49):
the best of me. I won't fade away on you
if you don't fade away on me. Now, the last
thing I want to tell you is that when you're
having those moments where you feel like you just are,
you can't connect. They're talking about something, maybe they're even
looking at a picture and you can't see the picture.
(09:12):
I want you in that moment to just make sure
that you fall into gratitude. There's the saying God will
never give us more than we can handle. For some reason,
you were given this, and you were given this versus
chronic pain, depression, other disabilities, because it's what you can handle.
(09:36):
You may not feel that on the days you're disconnecting,
the days you're fading away, but this is something you
can do. And one of the things that I've thought
about a lot over the years and trust me, I
ran into a door the other day and knocked my
tooth out. Then cook, I got it fixed. Being blind
is not easy. But to me, I love music, I
(09:59):
love he I love you. To me, I love stretching
my toes in the morning. I love walking. I don't
like exercise too much, but I like the physical. So
for me, a wheelchair would be hard. So you just
kind of have to allow yourself time to purge, maybe
get a coach, maybe therapy, allow yourself to turn the
(10:20):
tables and know that you won't fade away on them,
just any more than you wouldn't want them to fade
on you. And then just stay with gratitude.
Speaker 6 (10:30):
But if you do.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
That, it will get better. Won't be perfect, but life
is not meant to be perfect. It's about today's theme
turning pain into purpose. So you want to just stay strong.
We're going to be praying for you, thinking of you,
and for everybody else listening. Let's love on her today,
and when we come back, we're going to be talking
(10:53):
with our inspirational guests, Linda Perez. Stay with us, we'll
be back.
Speaker 7 (11:01):
Life looks a little different during these times. We're doing
our best to keep our minds and bodies strong, and
getting a flu shot helps us stay healthy, so we
don't miss out on what matters, like having game night
at home. Yeah, can't do that, we'll sick with the flu.
(11:24):
Now imagine family movie night that your daughter can't live without. Well,
that's ruined. And don't forget your uncle's socially distanced cookouts.
See that's why it's important to be at our strongest.
(11:45):
Every year, millions of people in the US get the flu,
especially now. No one has time to miss out on
moments that matter. So get your flu shot. Find out
more and get my flu shot dot org. Brought to
you by the AMA, CDC and the AD Council.
Speaker 8 (12:00):
Don't you wish your life came with a warning app?
Speaker 9 (12:03):
Stop that dog does not want to be pettitive.
Speaker 8 (12:07):
Just a little heads up before something bad happens.
Speaker 9 (12:10):
Move your coffee cup away from your computer.
Speaker 10 (12:13):
Oh no, no, no.
Speaker 8 (12:14):
No, so you can have more control.
Speaker 9 (12:16):
Stop you're texting your boss by mistake.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Oh well.
Speaker 11 (12:21):
Life doesn't always give you time to change the outcome,
but pre diabetes does. With early diagnosis and a few
healthy changes like managing your weight, getting active, stopping smoking,
and eating healthier, you can stop pre diabetes before it
leads to type two diabetes.
Speaker 8 (12:37):
It's easy to learn your risk.
Speaker 11 (12:39):
Take the one minute test today at do I have
Prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 9 (12:43):
Warning? The cap is loose on that cat young.
Speaker 8 (12:47):
Oh, don't wait.
Speaker 11 (12:48):
You have the power to change the outcome. Visit do
I have Prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Today?
Speaker 8 (12:53):
That's do I have Prediabetes dot org?
Speaker 11 (12:55):
Brought to you by the AD Council and its pre
diabetes awareness partners.
Speaker 7 (13:00):
Hehu, oh brah, that's buzzed. Oh yeah, yeah, he's starting
with the woots.
Speaker 12 (13:05):
And now a speech.
Speaker 13 (13:07):
I just want to say that friendship is about heart,
heart and brain.
Speaker 10 (13:12):
Who's with me?
Speaker 11 (13:13):
Good thing is he knows when he's buzzed, and my
brain is saying when it's time to go home, Somebody
call me a ride.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Love that guy, me too.
Speaker 11 (13:21):
Know your buzzed warning signs, call for a ride when
it's time to go home.
Speaker 8 (13:25):
Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message for NITZA and
the AD Council. True what you're out?
Speaker 9 (13:34):
You got me?
Speaker 14 (13:35):
Galaxy safe once again.
Speaker 15 (13:38):
In the pretend universe, kids play with pretend guns. In
the real world, it's up to us to make sure
they don't get their hands on a real gun. If
you have a gun in the house, keep it locked, unloaded,
and storage separately from ammunition. Safegun storage saves lives. Learn
how to make your home Safeer it Nfamilyfire dot Org.
That's Nfamilyfire dot Org, brought to you by N Familyfire,
Brady and the ad Council.
Speaker 16 (13:59):
Adopt Us Kids presents what to expect when you're expecting
a teenager learning the.
Speaker 13 (14:05):
Lingo Today, I'm going to help parents translate teen slang. Now,
when a teen says something is on fleek, it's exactly
like saying that's rad. It simply means that something is
awesome or cool. Another one is toats. It's exactly like
saying totally, just shorter, as in I totes love going
(14:27):
to the mall with Becca. Another word you might hear
is jelly. Jelly is a shorter, better way to say jealous,
as in Chloe, I am like so jelly of your
unicorn phone case.
Speaker 16 (14:39):
You don't have to speak teen to be a perfect parent.
Thousands of teens in foster care will think you're rad
just the same. To learn more, visit adopt us Kids
dot Org. A public service announcement brought to you by
the US Department of Health and Human Services, adopt Us Kids,
and the ad Council.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Soilary. As
a life coach, Nancy can teach you how to stay
strong under pressure and work through challenges you face. Being
legally blind, Nancy inspires others to be resilient and overcoming
obstacles and live full out. You could ask Nancy for
advice in your life on relationships, finance, business, health, and more.
(15:22):
Just call in at eight hundred three three three zero
zero zero one. Once again, that's eight hundred three three
three zero zero zero one. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Thank you for joining us today. I'm Nancy Silari and
this is the Living Full Out Show, and today we're
talking about turning pain into purpose and how do you
how do you put that into action? How do you
manifest how you could give more and be more and
contribute to others well. Our inspirational guest today at Linda
Prez is such a great example of what it means
to live full out and really fight through those hard
(15:56):
times in life to figure out who she is and
what she wants. So I'd like to welcome Linda to
the show.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Hello, Nancy, thank you so much for having me. I'm
so excited.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I am so happy to have you as well. Now,
I'll be honest, I wish we were talking about how
you just won the lottery and what are you going
to do with it? But sometimes I believe we have
won the lottery and we've all known a lot lottery
because of our growth. And there's a lot of people
that stall and get stuck and don't have the patchwork
(16:28):
of life experience to really know that they're living a
high purpose and today you are, which we'll get to
in a bit, but I want to take our audience
back a bit. So you grew up in the early
years of your life six and earlier, and pretty much
a chaotic home. Your dad was the aggressor in the home,
(16:51):
and when your mom did decide to leave, you were
actually more grateful that she did, like you would rather
been that they divorced than stayed together.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Why was that, you know, Nancy, I love my parents
so much. I love my dad as well, and I
want to say that because you know, I always now
that I've had the growth myself, I understand that there
were things that both my parents learned while they were
a child growing up, so their values and beliefs and
(17:27):
what they saw was normal to them. So it was
just a very chaotic environment. And what I saw was
physical abuse to my mother, and I just really felt
that's what I saw and that was what became what
love was to me. So as a child growing up
(17:48):
in a domestic violence home, that was a normal thing
that carried through my adult life.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
You know, I did in some ways as much as do.
You loved your dad, You know, it must have been
kind of complicated and confusing, but yet a breath of
fresh air when your mom, you know, fairly quickly after
leaving your dad, met your stepdad. But what was it
about him that finally made you feel safe?
Speaker 4 (18:18):
You know, when my stepdad came into my life, and
I say this, I'm very grateful that I've had the
opportunity to have two dads in my life. When my
stepdad came into my life, and he's been in my
life since I was seven years old, the way that
I saw him and my mom interact with each other,
the way that I saw them love each other and
(18:39):
do things with each other, was when I became a
teenager and all of the You know, as I started,
I'm like, these are relationship goals. Although I saw that
I still made bad choices in my life.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
All right, let's now you took off the band aid, Linda.
Now we got to talk about the bad choice, okay.
But you know what, it's interesting though that you did
have that loving example between your mom and your stepdad.
Like you saw chaos, so you knew what that looked like,
but you also saw love and you knew what that
looked like. But let's leap to your high school boyfriend
(19:19):
that you had stayed with, you know, into your college years.
And I know he you know, he drank and but
he didn't treat you good. But you stayed for so long,
I mean into the college years. Why did you stay?
Speaker 12 (19:36):
You know when I I think in my mind, what
I've learned about myself now is that I was always
looking for that love from a man.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
I saw my dad be you know, men to me
became liars, cheaters, and abusers. But you still had to
be with your find your man, find your husband, get married,
have kids, all of those things. So it's like, if
this was a relationship, this is how relationships are. It's
(20:12):
it's not good but it is part of what your
future plan would be. So I accepted those bad behaviors
because I thought that was normal. I thought that's how
relationships might be. What I saw with my stepdad and
my mom was rare. I knew it was attainable, and
(20:32):
they didn't have a perfect relationship, but he was never
abusive to my mother, and I continued to choose relationships
that were abusive mentally, verbally, emotionally, and physically.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And along that way, are you are you out kind
of outside your own body, or are you having conversations
kind of yelling at yourself in the mirror, like why
do you stay?
Speaker 4 (20:58):
You know, It's like I was that person the first
time I saw one of my teenage friends get beat
up by her boyfriend and me and my other girlfriend
had to go to the hospital to get her out.
I saw that, and even though I saw that and
I said, I'll never let that happen to me, right,
(21:20):
the physical, the bruised eyes, all of those things that
will never happen to me, And then year's journey, it's
happening to me. But my abuser was also very strategic.
I was working on my career, so my bruises were hidden.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Well, and obviously within your Hispanic culture and all that.
I mean, you know your parents grew up. It was generational.
Your dad, your biological dad, was even a police officer.
I mean in some ways it's like was talking or
saying anything even gonna help.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Exactly. And that's one of the things I wanted. I'm
glad you brought that up, Nancy. My dad was a
police officer, and we know that that is very it's
very high with police officers, and it's very scary for
victims and people who are going through that situation to
even call the police because you don't know if they're
(22:16):
going to be on your side. And the police get
tired of coming to her phone to calls like that
because they get tired and it's like she's going to stay,
she's going to go back, and all of those things.
So it is such a vicious cycle that so many
different people, so many different occupations need to understand and
(22:39):
know how to deal with it well.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
And I would imagine just self esteem wise, it just
kind of nipped away at you. I mean, you're the
greatest abuser. We haven't talked about yet, but it's one
of those things where you know, that foundation is so important,
and even though you had chaotic matched up with loving,
(23:03):
it still led you to, just like you said, making
decisions that were not the best and part of that
could have been again because you felt like you were
trying to start that family and have that dream and
this is just the way it is. So Linda, stay
with us and everybody listening today. This is a very
(23:23):
heavy topic. But if you are being abused, you know,
make sure that you reach out to us, make sure
that you seek the help that you need, because domestic
violence is a real thing, but it happens way more
than even gets, you know, acknowledged or documented. So if
you're going through that, please do reach out. We're always
(23:44):
here for you. And again we're going to be coming
right back. Today we are talking about how to turn
pain into purpose. But when you're doing that, you're able
to truly, for the first time, maybe in a long time,
live full out.
Speaker 17 (24:03):
Today, in school, I learned a lot. In chemistry, I
learned that no one likes me. In English, I learned
that I'm disgusting, and in physics I learned that I'm
a loser.
Speaker 14 (24:16):
Today in school, I learned that I'm ugly and useless.
In jim I learned that I'm pathetic in a joke.
In History today, I learned that I'm trying.
Speaker 18 (24:26):
Today.
Speaker 19 (24:26):
In school, I learned that I have no friends. In English,
I learned that I make people sick. And at lunch,
I learned that I sit on my own because I smell.
In Chemistry, I learned.
Speaker 17 (24:38):
That no one In Biology, I learned that I'm fat
and stupid.
Speaker 20 (24:42):
And in math, I learned that I'm trash.
Speaker 17 (24:46):
The only thing I didn't learn in school today, the
only thing I didn't learn today.
Speaker 8 (24:49):
The only thing I didn't learn is why no one.
Speaker 20 (24:52):
Ever helps kids witness bullying every day. They want to help,
but they don't know how teach them how to stop
bullying and be more than a bystander at Stop Bullying
dot gov. A message from the AD Council.
Speaker 21 (25:04):
I'm Nancy Silary, certified Life and Business Coach. I want
to invite you to the Personal Development boot Camp. During
the boot camp, we're going to be looking at taking
those insecurities that you have and getting rid of them.
We're also going to look at ways in which you
can thrive and live a life full of purpose. Go
to livingfullout dot com. Forward slash boot Camp Livingfullout dot com.
(25:25):
Forward slash boot Camp to sign up. I believe in you,
and here's to you living your life full out.
Speaker 22 (25:40):
They'll challenge your authority, I know, they'll try to break
your will. They'll push you to the edge of your
sanity because that's what kids do. But this car is
your territory, not theirs. Defend it. Who makes the payment,
(26:01):
who cleans it, who drives it? You do, That's who.
And in here your word is law. So when you
say you won't move until everyone's buckled up, you won't
budge an inch until you hear that clear Never give
(26:22):
up until they buckle up. A message from the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the ad Council. For more information,
visit safercar dot gov. Slash kids Buckle Up.
Speaker 23 (26:34):
Seven million children suffer from asthma, more than any other
chronic disease. Most asthma attacks are caused by allergic reactions
to allergens, including those left behind by cockroaches and mice.
In fact, eighty two percent of US households contain mouse allergens,
and cockroaches are found in up to ninety eight percent
of urban homes. How can you protect your family? Find
(26:56):
out at Pestworld dot org. A message from the National
Pest Management Association and the American College of Allergy, Asthma,
and Immunology.
Speaker 13 (27:04):
It's slipping, coffit CHECKI cop to doctor.
Speaker 22 (27:07):
KNOWLNE share.
Speaker 10 (27:08):
I get it, slip it, cuff it, check it. Twice
a day, I get it, slip it, cuff it, check
it in the morning and before dinner.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I get it.
Speaker 10 (27:16):
Flip it, cuff it, check it, and share it with
my doctor. Nearly one in two US adults have high
blood pressure. That's why it's important to self monitor your
blood pressure and for easy to remember steps. It starts
with a monitor.
Speaker 14 (27:31):
Now that I know my blood pressure numbers, I talked
with my doctor.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
We're getting those numbers down.
Speaker 12 (27:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (27:37):
It's slipping, coffit check, cop to doctor, knowlne share.
Speaker 10 (27:41):
Be next to talk to your doctor about your blood
pressure numbers. Get down with your blood pressure. Self monitoring
is power. Learn more at Manage your BP dot org.
Brought to you by the AD Council, the American Heart Association,
and the American Medical Association in partnership with the Office
of Minority Health and Health Resources and Services Administration.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary. With
Nancy's expertise, you'll learn how to embrace your potential and
strive for success. If you have a question or need
further support, send us an email at connect at Livingfoullout
dot com. Now here's Nancy.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Welcome back. I'm Nancy Silari and this is the Living
Full Out Show and today we're talking about turning pain
into purpose with our inspirational guest Linda Prez And truly
I'm so grateful that she's speaking on the topic of
domestic violence and how we navigate out of those relationships.
So welcome back, Linda.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
Thank you, Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Nancy, well, and you were so great to establish for
us in the last segment, just kind of what growing
up was like for you. But ultimately you did find
yourself in a relationship that was physical and you eventually
saw those red flags come up. You tried to, you know,
(29:03):
weather the storm, but you got to a point where
it was like a flip the switch, the turn the page,
like it was you had known this guy for so
long and then like overnight, it amped up quickly. What
was the defining moment where you knew you had to leave.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
The defining moment for me, Nancy, And thank you for
asking that question, because, as I said, as we spoke before,
it's that that has been a difficult thing for me
to get to and to talk about. But my defining
moment was the night that I thought I was going
to lose my life. I had. I've had the worst abuse,
(29:48):
you know, being hit, kids, punched, all the things, and
this night was with a pillow over my face, and
it was I really thought that I was going to
take my last breath. And that was my moment where
(30:08):
I knew that I had a bigger purpose and that
my life mattered and I needed to make a change.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Yeah, and I can tell there's still sadness in your voice,
because that's it's scary. It is a imprint on your
heart in your mind, but you did survive. And what
I think is so interesting, and I think sometimes for
everybody listening, I mean, we can want a relationship, we
(30:40):
can try to do our best to will it to
work and stay for the kids, or stay because we
want to have kids, or whatever that happy ending looks like.
But it's also inspiring though to me that you know,
after that relationship. You did leave. But after that, you know,
UKU said, that's it.
Speaker 10 (30:58):
I'm done.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I've had a All men are jerks, but you didn't.
You You did rally and you were in a relationship
for like fifteen years, yes, and you were a loving
mom to his kids and all that. But he wasn't
physically abusive. But what made you What had you leave
that relationship?
Speaker 4 (31:22):
You know, infidelity, but infidelity, but which was surprising because
I really thought that that was my forever. We had
been planted in the church and all of the things,
and I he was never physically abusive to me. But
when I look at that relationship, I see how desperate
(31:46):
I was for his approval, for his acknowledgement of my beauty,
of my everything that I've done for you know, his kids.
I realized that I was in this continuous cycle of
trying to prove myself so that he would love me
(32:07):
and he would want me, and abuse wouldn't be there,
and all the things that my parents were it would
not be with this. And I found that I was
always the one giving, and I lost my confidence. You know.
It was just it was a very emotionally disturbing time
(32:31):
for me, and I didn't even realize how I was
still in that abusive cycle, but I was allowing that
for myself.
Speaker 5 (32:41):
You know.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
It's it's great, though, that you eventually woke up, because
you could have stayed. You could have stayed fifteen, could
have been twenty, could have been forever.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
But when you would have stayed with his rule.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Well, but when you woke up, you you really woke up.
I mean, there was a period of time where you
finally turned the spotlight on you, your friends, enjoying life
and interestingly enough, you know, when one door closes, another
one opens. But what's so interesting about your current relationship
(33:21):
is he's even culturally different than everything you you dated
and married before. Yes, yes, share with us about that.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
You know, I never thought that. I really thought after
my divorce, when I got divorced at forty five, I
really thought that was a very traumatic time for me,
and I thought that maybe this is maybe I'm meant
to be single. And really, during that time, Nancy is
(33:55):
when I really grew. Linda got to learn who Linda was.
I got to go on trips with my girlfriends, take
long weekends, come home, and if I wanted to have
popcorn and dinner for wine. I could do that. If
I wanted to take three hour bubble baths, I could
do that and not worry about anything. So during that
(34:16):
growth period for me, now I met this wonderful man
who we have both been through so much and now
we get to enjoy the best of each other. Communication,
the trust, the support. I never thought I would have that,
and I have that now. But I believe, Nancy, I
(34:37):
have that because I was ready for a healthy relationship
after I did some work on myself as well.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
And that is so important. And I know that there
was an event that you were at all about Champagne
and pearls, a woman's event, and people were bragging about you,
just how Pow said if you were, and how much
you had you know, taken pain and put it in
the purpose. And as much as it was great to
(35:07):
hear those words from everybody at the event, it was
a text from your mom. Ironically, her name is Linda
that meant the most to you. What did your mom say?
Speaker 4 (35:20):
My mom and I shared with you, Nancy, that my
mom is not very good at communicating. She'll say that
all the time. I'm not good at communicating like you,
And she sent me a taxi because that's easier for
her to communicate.
Speaker 18 (35:33):
And she just said how proud she was of the
woman that I am today and who I have become.
And what is so important about that is she doesn't
even realize that it's because of her and because of
how I saw her navigate a lot of things when
(35:56):
I was a child.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Yeah, I mean that's my mom is one of my
best friends. So I definitely get that. And part of
your journey has been that survivor. But part of surviving
is forgiveness. And where do you stand? Did you eventually
forgive your dad? Have you forgiven your abusers?
Speaker 4 (36:23):
Absolutely, Nancy, I believe I have shared. I'm very grounded
in my faith and forgiveness is a hard thing, but
it is a necessary thing. And forgiveness to me, it
doesn't mean that I forget anything that's ever happened, but
it allows me to forgive those things that happened to
(36:43):
me and allow me to be to grow from that
and be healthy. And for that person, because I truly
know and believe I've seen it in my family through
the generational cycles, is you have to forgive that person
because they are the way they are is because of
(37:06):
how they were brought up, how they saw things. Maybe
they had a traumatic you know, childhood. Maybe my grandparents,
who were very traditional Mexican family, didn't know how to
show love to their children like we see today. You know,
there's so many parenting things today, but you didn't really
have that when I was growing up, or when my
(37:28):
parents were growing up. We didn't talk about therapy. We
didn't even know what therapy was.
Speaker 9 (37:34):
You know.
Speaker 10 (37:36):
Yeah, I mean, I mean, it.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Is so important that people get out what is the
pain in them, and therapy is so good for that.
And I'm just curious. Linda's we kind of round out
today's story, your story, your journey. It's so heavy, it's triggering,
and I hear that in your voice. Do you relive it?
(38:02):
We're talking today about pain and to purpose. Why do
you do this podcast? Why do you relive telling your
story when you speak? Because it is clearly painful.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
It is very painful. But I also know that my
purpose is everything that I've been through there is a reason,
and it is for me to use my voice so
that I can help someone else, not just an individual,
but a family. As I mentioned, these generational cycles that
happen in families. I want to be able to use
(38:37):
my voice and my experience, and it is hard, and
that's why I have to have my own self care
to do what I do every day to be able
to use my voice and speak out about this, especially
for our children, and how important healthy relationships are. But
it is important for me, Nancy, to take all of that.
(38:59):
I was a victim, but I am a survivor, and
being a survivor doesn't mean that I get to feel
that or that I feel that way every day. It
means that I do what I need to do to
make sure that I keep going. Because in life, we
can always fall. We wake up in the morning, we're
not feeling good, we're sad today. We have to do
(39:19):
what we have to do to get our mind back
on track because it's so easy to fall into what's comfortable.
What I would say to everybody is you're not alone.
There are so many people who are affected by abuse
by violence. One in four women and one in seven
men will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime. If
(39:40):
we do not start talking about this and educating our
families and bringing awareness, and if you think about those statistics,
that means that you someone you know, someone you love
has or will be affected by this by domestic violence
if we don't start educating and talking about this to
our families. And because of that, Nancy, I want to
(40:03):
use my voice, and I have taken my pain and
turned it into a purpose.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
I am so proud of you. I mean, I know,
I'm like one hundred people deep in proud of you,
because you know, your mom's front of the line, and
then Nancy's you know, right there behind her. But truly,
it is scary. You've done it, You've found your happy ending.
But it took patience, it took commitment. So thank you
so much, Linda for sharing your story with us, and
(40:33):
for everybody else today we are talking about turning pain
into purpose. It doesn't happen overnight. You know, journeys are
meant to unfold, So hang in there. If you're wondering
I don't know my purpose, then stay with us throughout
this show. We'll find it, we'll identify it, and we'll
take action together. We'll be back to some people.
Speaker 24 (41:07):
The sound of a baby babbling doesn't mean much, but
that's not necessarily true. By six months, they're combining vowels
and consonants talk. By nine months, they're trying out different
kinds of sounds, and by twelve months they're babbling. Is
(41:29):
beginning to take on some meaning man, especially if there's
no babbling at all. Little to no babbling by twelve
months or later is just one of the possible signs
of autism and children. Early screening and intervention can make
a lifetime of difference and unlock a world of possibilities.
(41:52):
Take the first step at autism speaks dot org, a
public service announcement brought to you by Autism Speaks and
the Aduncil.
Speaker 25 (42:01):
Most of us like to be out in the sun.
That's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to
protecting your skin from aging and cancer. The FDA recommends
using a sunscreen with a sun Protection Factor or SPF
A fifteen or higher. Also look for broad spectrum.
Speaker 8 (42:17):
On the label.
Speaker 25 (42:18):
That means both harmful ultraviolet A and B rays are block.
UVA rays age the skin, UVB rays burn, and both
cause cancer. But the perfect sunscreen doesn't count if you
use it wrong. Don't need sunscreen on a cloudy day wrong.
Eighty percent of UV rays still get through the haze.
Only use sunscreen at the beach. Nope, anytime you're outside,
(42:41):
ub rays attack the skin, so you need protection and
you have to reapply sunscreen every two hours. Remember SPF
plus broad spectrum he for healthy fun in the sun.
Visit www dot FDA dot gov slash sunscreen for more information.
A message from the US Food and Drug Admans.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Right now, our country feels divided, but there's a place
where people are coming together.
Speaker 11 (43:06):
I gotta tell you, I was nervous to talk to
someone so different than me.
Speaker 9 (43:10):
Me too, But I'm glad you are.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Love has No Labels and One Small Step are helping
people with different political views, beliefs, and life experiences come
together through conversation and it feels good.
Speaker 4 (43:21):
Wow, your story is so interesting.
Speaker 18 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
When people actually sit down, talk and listen to one another,
they can break down boundaries and connect as human beings.
At Love Hasno Labels dot com slash one Small Step,
you can listen to amazing, life changing conversations and find
simple tools to start a conversation of your own.
Speaker 15 (43:42):
I know one thing, this conversation gives me hope.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
It gives me a lot of hope to take a
step toward bringing our country and your community together By
having the courage to start a conversation at Love has
No Labels, dot com, slash one small step, a message
from story Core, Love has No Labels, and the ad council.
Speaker 8 (44:02):
All right, grew, let's get her dug.
Speaker 9 (44:07):
Honey, you want to give me a hand, I'm planning
that tree you remember.
Speaker 6 (44:10):
No matter how large or small your digging project may be,
no matter how urban or rural, you must always call
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utility companies to come out and mark any lines they
have near your dig site. You must call eight one
(44:32):
to one at least two to three business days before
any digging project so you can avoid hitting our essential
buried utilities. This includes natural gas and petroleum pipelines, electra
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do this or this, make sure you do this. For
(44:54):
digging projects big or small, make the call to eight
one to one. Brought to you by Common Ground the Alliance.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
When it comes to turning pain into purpose, I want
you to get excited about that. Let the past not
be for nothing. Let the times that you failed or
felt picked on not be moments that are defeating you,
but once where you can rally and leap away and
say I got it. I get it now, I can
(45:24):
do something with this. I can make somebody else's life better. Truly,
when you have that state of mind, that focus, you're
gonna live full out.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
You're listening to Living Full Out with Nancy Solary as
a professional motivational speaker. Nancy can assist you to blow
through your setbacks and start living full out. If you
have an inspirational story you want to share, email us
at connect at livingfullout dot com. Once again, here's Nancy,
thank you again.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
For joining us today. We've been talking about turning pain
into purpose, which I know pain seems like yuck, let's
not talk about that purpose. I'm all on board, but
you have to sometimes why I shouldn't even say, sometimes
you have to go through pain to really sometimes identify
your purpose. And the reason why that is is there's
(46:20):
a lot of people that I meet you out and
about as well as I interview. And while I don't
wish anybody to have heartbreak, you're talking abuse could be
a divorce, could be a loss of grieving any of that.
I don't wish that upon people. But I know that
once they go through it, and although it may be painful,
(46:42):
it may be expensive, it may take time, it does
round you out, it does polish you into the diamond
that you are. And it's that time and that pressure
how diamonds are created and made. So rather than feeling like,
oh I wish I didn't have to go through that pain,
look at that as polishing time. Look at that as
(47:03):
time where it's being revealed how you can show up
in the world and really give and make a difference.
And I'll tell you what again, there's a lot of
people I meet in my coaching practice that they're coming
to me not because of a pain. They're coming to
me because they don't have that purpose. They don't have
(47:25):
anything to wake up for in the morning, they don't
feel like they've made a difference. They could disappear tomorrow
and that's okay. But that's not okay. And so if
you fall into that group, let today be the day
that you journal. Let today be the day that you
just let it out and think about the times that
(47:46):
you have been confronted with something hard. And again you
might say, I've life's been perfect, don't have anything hard
I bet you do. We all have had those moments
where we've been picked on, we fail, you know, we regretted,
we were in denial, we hoped people didn't notice, on
and on and on. And it's interesting because being legally blind,
(48:11):
you know, a lot of a lot of who I
am is out there in public. I mean when I
go let's just say, I go to the doctor, right,
and I'm filling out a form because I mean I
can't see the form. You know, I have this person
asking me every medical condition and do you have this?
Do you have that? And you know pretty much I'm
healthy other than blindness, but kind of an open book, right,
(48:35):
And I'll be honest, you know, I do think I
step out the door all put together in the Nancy way.
But there has been a time, okay more than one
time where maybe I walked out the door and someone
was like, huh, shirts, shirts inside out, dresses backwards, all right, well,
who made you the fashion god? I might say, Well,
(48:57):
the thing is that's not perfect. So the goal is
not to look good. The goal is not to be perfect.
The goal is to have stories. The goal is to
be relatable. And the more you have imperfections, the more
you actually have heartbreaks in your life, the more genuine, authentic,
(49:19):
relatable you end up being. For all, you know, if
you're out there looking for that love of your life,
it may be the imperfections, the heartbreaks that make that
person that you really want to keep dating or marry
one day to be like, Wow, this is somebody who
will get me because they've been through it too. Or
(49:40):
I always say this. When I'm interviewing people. I look
for that's called a breakout moment. So what I am
interviewing someone for a job, I always ask them, so,
why do you want to work at? Living full out?
Why do you want to be here? And sometimes they
tell me what I want to hear, and that's just
kind of wonk wonk wonk. The breakout moment is when
(50:02):
somebody says, you know, I really get what your company's about.
I have depression, my mom is blind. You know, I've
battled with anxiety. At that moment, as the interviewer, I'm
leaning in because I'm thinking, Wow, what you have gone through.
You know, fingers to keyboard, you know, hand holding the
(50:24):
pen to paper. You're going to create from your heart.
You're going to do great things on you know, with
our company, you know, on behalf of the company from
what you've gone through. So let today be the day
that we celebrate those pains. Yay for pains. Very rarely
are we going to say that, even that chronic pain.
(50:44):
If you're like like me sometimes holding my lower back.
You know, I'm not really that old, but sometimes I
feel like I'm, you know, forty years older. You know
when when you're having that body pain again, how many
people have chronic pain a lot? How many people have
had that point where they're like, oh, I need a
tile it all, I need an advil a lot. Again,
(51:07):
there's camaraderie, you know, in what we've gone through together.
And if you are one of those folks that doesn't
have that camaraderie. I say this a lot on shows
because loneliness is a real thing and that can be
pain all on its own. I want you to let
(51:27):
this be the day that you walk out your front door,
not on the phone, not with your ear bits in
your ear, but be intentional with meeting people today and
you will. It's just sometimes we get loaded with the busy,
we get loaded with the looking good, we get loaded
down by the past. But you can't reveal the purpose
(51:48):
if you're stuck in that place. But when you do
tap into your purpose, all watch out world, You're going
to make a huge difference. And guess what Living full
Out is about? Taking action. That's what all of our
episodes are here for. So again, reach out to us
at livingfollout dot com if you need to hear this
(52:09):
show again or any others, because we want you to
have that boost of motivation inspiration so that you can
do what live full out.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Thank you for listening to the Living full Out Show
with Nancy Silari. To learn more about this program, visit
livingfullout dot com for the latest episodes. Connect with the
Living full Out community by following us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and subscribing to our YouTube channel. Here's to you, Living
full Out.
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