I Can See Clearly NOW

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Peace. Seawan is sha Man Davewith my brother Quest the man bringing you
all things marriage, paying you hugedividends on your investment in time with us,
We're talking about love, sex,having children, money, spirituality,
life, communication and anything else tohelp you thrive and win in your relationships.

(00:22):
And guess what this is, grownfolks business. So get ready to
make grown up decisions. You knowwhy, because marriage Ain't for suckers.
That's the name of the program.Marriage Ain't for Suckers. All right,
let's get into it, hey,your quests. It's time to give the
people something. Man, what arewe talking about today? What up?

(00:44):
What up? What up? Whatup? What up? What up?
Y'all already know what it is.Ooh, this like squint because it's we're
coming through it. I'm coming inhot, im on, my andy MINEO.
I'm coming in hot. Yes indeed, y'all welcome to another edition of
the Marriage Ain't for Suckers Podcast.I am your host with the Most Jay

(01:04):
Quest Green, alongside my Man,My Mello, My Mello, My Man,
Ladies and gentlemen, The Anomaly lDavid Harris, give it up.
I don't know why I be comingin him so extra, but I just
can't help it. Quest, youcan't up. You can't hey, J

(01:27):
quest Yo, that's Ja quest Greenlike he's he's question the transformational leader quest
Green. I don't know. I'mtrying out some new ones on your man.
I like it. I like thesesticks. I like it. I

(01:47):
like it. We here man wereI'm thankful to man. I have a
let me not lie. I wantto be trans transparent, if you will.
There are seasons and not complete seasons, but there are parts of seasons
where I'm not always feeling my best, if you will, And this is

(02:10):
one of those seasons. Right AmI shaken by it? No? Am
I uneasy about it? Yes?But whenever you're in training, if you
will, it's never easy their moment. There are segments when I go to

(02:30):
the gym, like, okay,week one and week two, I might
be at you know what I'm saying, just for argument's sake, a twenty
five pound plate, and then youbecome comfortable with that weight. And I
think people forget that the fruit ofsuccess starts with challenge and difficulty and opposition,

(02:53):
right And I think most people don'tknow that, either that they don't
know it or like they know it, and they just don't pay enough attention
to it, right because people justwant what they want. And I'm learning
how to embrace the process. It'snot an easy thing and it's not something
cute that we say, Oh,don't embrace the trust the process, don't

(03:13):
rush the process, right you hearso many people say that, yeah,
yeah, But then when the rubbermeets the road, doown you really got
to do it because there's no wayto the next level less you do it.
You can't go around it, youcan't go under it, over it,
or you got to go through itright. And that's a part of
the season that I'm in. Ilove you as my brother, a blood

(03:38):
couldn't make us any closer. Ilove you as yep, I love you
as a as a as a coach. And this is a unique relationship that
God has blessed us with and whowould have known even in our early years
because for those who don't know meand your boy over there, we've been
rocking for the last forty something years. Right for you to just not only

(04:01):
be my friend, but my brotherand also a coach many times has led
me to the season where it's abeautiful thing when you have accountability with people
that you love and that love you, and that you respect and that respect
you, where you can have conversationswhere you can let the guard down that
you have up for everybody else.Because not everybody that say they in your

(04:25):
corner, in your corner, youknow what I'm saying. As d D
would say, shouts out the dD. There's not a lot of people
that you can afford to have inyour sacred circle. As a matter of
fact, the more people that youhave in your sacred circle, the more
saky it gets, you feel meAnd so I love the fact that you
are here in this season because oneof the things that you've been pushing me

(04:46):
to is a higher level of leadership. Yes, and so yeah, man,
your boy has taken a significant amountof time in this season to take
a dive into the pool of higherlevels of leadership. And some of the
things that I'm learning they're dope intheory, but now comes the application and

(05:06):
they have me. So in otherwords, what was the twenty five plate?
Now I got to put another tenplate on that and do the same
amount of reps that I did.Yeah, that ain't for anybody who go
to the gym. You know that'snot an easy task, right. Well,
I walked in the gym today andone of the trainers. I don't
have a trainer, but one ofthe trainers looked at me. He was

(05:27):
like, you want me to leavethis here on the bench? That's the
first question he asked me. AndI was like yeah, he said,
you want me to take anything off? I was like, nah, I
got it, I got it.I got it because I ain't even warm
up yet. I'm still gonna warmup. But his mind was like,
yo, you about to come getthis work and you should we wait or
what? You come in here?And I'm like, I gotta come in

(05:47):
there, man, I gotta comein there. Quest pain and no pain.
We don't have a choice. It'sthe difference between people who operate in
theory versus those who know the thingtheory and then practically apply. You know
what I'm saying, Yeah, yeah, don't talk about it, be about
it. So yeah, of courseI got a stack on a couple more

(06:11):
minutes than what I said to youin the text message, because that wouldn't
make sense. But yeah, wegot a lot to say and not a
lot of time. But guess what, man, Jimmy Cliff has this thing
right, Yeah, I can seeclearly. Now y'all may think it's some
kind of commercial, but that wasthey bit that like they stole that.
I can see all obstacles in myway, uh huh, gone out of

(06:35):
dark clouds that had me blind.It's gonna be a bright and then you
know, y'all can go look thatup right, right and right. So
here's the thing, right. Idon't know if that was an optimistic thing
for him, why he was goingwith that message, but I want to
I want to give a context forwhy we're going with it today. Right.

(06:58):
Everything is about perspective, right,and not just optimism and pessimism.
And then the one I made upfor myself. Right, Hey, can
I do this real quick, Dbecause I do I hear you, and
I hear your tone. Please holdthe thought and don't lose it any and
everybody that might be watching the podcastright now, do me a favor share
it because I feel that there's annoyingtaking on this podcast right here. Do

(07:19):
me a favor, share it,Share it, share right now. If
you got the share button below,you can you please just do me a
favor click share and share it outto everybody, even for those that may
be on the rewatch right, right, you're gonna watch this later on right,
do me a favor share this one? Yeah, as you were,
d please and thanks so So Idon't know what Cliff, Jimmy Cliff was

(07:42):
going, but I know where we'regoing. H And it's a matter of
perspective, not just optimism or pessimism. And then the one I made up
for myself, right, but it'sabout vision, like it's about seeing clearly,
vision, seeing clearly, like whenit was not yet in vogue,
I got, I got my eyesfixed, quest I got. I got

(08:05):
that laser eye surgery. And alot of the insurance providers were not paying
yet because they said it was itwas it was an elective, yes,
so so thankfully I had insurance thatpaid for it, and I got my
eyes fixed, quest like I got, I got my eyes fixed. And
do you know like when they whenthey went in there with the they called

(08:28):
it a micro surgical tool, andthen they did a three quarters in micro
incision on my cornea and then flippedit up sort of like Homeboy on Different
Worlds glasses. Yes, Wayne,Dwayne, Wayne, they flipped it up
and I immediately couldn't see as theyflipped that little layer up, the light

(08:50):
looked like it was on my eyeball, like from my perspective, like the
light was just a bright glob.It wasn't blurry, it was just a
it was just so close that itwasn't blurry or wasn't clear. It was
just that's all I could, kindof like when your thing is too open,
when they dilate your pupils, well, see I got I got ten.
My pupils are so large that whenyou dilate my pupils it does nothing.

(09:13):
And I don't need glasses, andit makes it worse because I don't
know that it's dangerous to mine.So that's a difference. So I don't
know, right, but it was. But but it was just that I
couldn't see. And then they theygot the little laser and they fired,
and y'all need to hear it,right, They fired the laser into the

(09:33):
stroma of my cornea for twenty somethingseconds on one and some other seconds on
the other. Cook, Cook,Cook, Cook. You could hear it.
And then they used a little toolput the thing back down and put
some saline and smoothed it real quickand suddenly I could see everything. Wow.
So a moment ago I couldn't see. I once was blind, But

(09:58):
now I see. How do Isee? Though I see clearly? Now
I see clearly. And so inmoments I was able to see in a
way I had not seen for manyyears. Why because I got the kind
of operation I needed. And soin our relationships we have marital relationships and

(10:22):
people who are in serious shelter CandaceSwager mom shelter shelter Candace right in those
relationships, if we are me beforethey did the surgical incision and then flipped
up my cornea, if we areme as the cornea is up, they

(10:46):
call it. I forgot what theycall it. But as it's up,
that is not the kind of relationshipthat we want to be in. Because
if I can't see, how inthe world can I lead people who need
better relationships who are watching my relationship, Like if the vision for my relationship
is unclear, then how in theworld. So what we need to do

(11:09):
is is cast the kind of visionthat I had and the perspective I had
after I got laser eye surgery,Because now I can see in a way
that I could not see before.And guess what else I got, question
what I got appreciation for the visionnow? Son, I got appreciation for

(11:33):
the vision now, and that meansthat I'm more responsible. Like they told
me, like some people don't liketo take instruction. You know what they
told me to do. They werelike, you're gonna have to close your
eyes for an hour, and theytold me I got to put these glasses
on, and they told me.You know what, I did exactly everything
they told me because I didn't wantto risk losing the vision. Bro.

(11:58):
So so here here, here itis, man, and I hear you,
and we I'll say it the waythat you know. I'll use some
terminology, some church terminology too.You can't give out what you don't have,
right. So you and I werespeaking earlier on in terms of situational

(12:22):
leadership, right, and the differencebetween EQ and IQ, and realizing that
every time you come in contact withsomeone, you're not coming in contact with
someone, and everybody's like a robot. They're all the same, all the
even people who are wired similarly arestill different. That's how God, there's

(12:43):
not one fingerprint that is the sameas somebody else's. That's how dope.
God is right. So with thatbeing said, you cannot give a cookie
cutter right stuff to people. Youcan't. There is master your authenticity.
You cannot pour out of a picturewhat you do not have. If you're

(13:05):
talking to a group of people andthese are orange juice people, right,
and you don't have orange juice inyour picture, don't you pour that out.
It's going to be catastrophic, right, Don't pour that out, or
you're not going to be received verywell. Right. And so you have
to fill yourself up with things thatyou can. Ah. Your boy says

(13:26):
it best when you always keep waterin your well. Always always keep water
in your well. Why because nowyou have something to draw from to give.
If everybody's water drinkers, right,everybody drinks water, you can't do
without it, right, make surethat you got always got water in your

(13:46):
well to your you know what youwere saying before, d I need to
make sure that whoever I'm dealing with, whoever I come across, that I'm
giving them what I need to givethem, tailor made especially for them.
Some people are blind, and thatis not the problem quest some people in

(14:07):
your relationships, your romantic relationships,be the marital or you're serious in your
singles relationship. I am saying beingblind and remaining blind is the problem.

(14:30):
Refusing to see and then casting avision is the problem. Refusing is a
choice. Not knowing how it's nota choice, But remaining in ignorance is
a choice. And so for me, at fifty years of age, married
to one woman for twenty two years, there is no excuse for me quest

(14:56):
to be blind and visionless. WhyWhy not? Because there are a lot
of people who will perish, andI've had enough time, simone has had
enough time to mature to the degreethat we are able when we are not

(15:18):
clear, to find clarity, yousee. So I'm not trying to create
some sort of elitist mindset. WhatI'm saying is, if I don't have
clarity at twenty two years in it, I should know where to look and
then to accept surely, and thenthe people around me, the people who

(15:41):
are in the sphere of influence,like I'm on two hundred radio stations,
quest real radio stations, thirty plusplatforms online and that's just one of the
programs. So I go. Sowhoever I am leaks into those environments,
I will never meet most to thosepeople. There's a lot of people.

(16:03):
But if I lack clarity and Ilack vision, especially in this relationship,
this bond, this vow covenant withSimone, then a lot of people are
gonna die. Bro Yeah, andthat would be on me. That is
not Melo drama. If y'all getit, you got it. If not,

(16:25):
pray about it, rewind this thinglater. If I lack vision and
my relationship with Simone and Simone viceversa, a lot of people will perish.
And perish does not necessarily mean destruction, right or tearing down. It

(16:47):
means a taking off, taking offof discipline, taking off of It's funny
because when I read the text andI started researching it's I think that it's
said that people perish for a lackof vision. Right, But you have
no vision because you don't have anyself control. You have no vision because

(17:10):
you are not structured. You haveno vision because you took off discipline.
You have no vision because you tookoff all of these different things. So
that's what parish means are taking offand they say a people perish for lack
of vision, Well, that's thereason why you don't have the vision.
The minute that you become very clearon what it is that you're supposed to
do, or not even clear onwhat it is that you're supposed to do,

(17:33):
clear on the fact that you understandthat your relationship is not just about
you. That's the first thing youneed to be clear about, is that
my marriage is not just about me. We were talking about it earlier on
d From the time that I go, we invite all of these people to
the wedding room, right and wewalk down or your bride walks down that
island, you as a man aresitting up there, or even if you're

(17:53):
a bride, from the time youenter in that room with your daddy or
whoever's giving you away and you walkdown there, ale when you say those
vows before whoever it is that you'resaying it before, and not just the
person who's officiating, but before Godand all the witnesses that are there.
The moment you say I do,you are now a ministry. Because people

(18:15):
are looking at the Harris marriage.People are looking at the Green marriage and
they're saying one of two things,Either I don't know what that is,
but I want something like that forme, or they're flipping it over and
saying, if that's what marriage lookslike, No, sir, I'm good.

(18:37):
You know, there are people whobecause of what they've been exposed to,
and I've been exposed to a lotof the same terrible relationships that the
people that I'm referencing, right,but because of that, they make similar
poor decisions in their relationships. Comeon, So what I'm exposed to,

(19:00):
for instance, I'll give you anexample. I'll give you an example.
Like me, I grew up inthe hood, not the ghetto, ghetto,
in the hood. Our cousins,but they're not they're not twins.
So you know, I had alittle patch of grass that my pot's never
cut and it looked like a jungleall the time. It was like four
or five feet tall all that almostall the time. I'm in government housing

(19:22):
in Jamaica, Queens. But wehad a little fence and we had a
little patch of grass. But itwas government housing and the bullets do fly,
so good, got it. Sothat's that's where I grew up.
So I have this the hood thatI grew up in and wherever I had
to pass through and just pick thenegative stuff that comes with that. But

(19:45):
I was in a I was ina church environment, right, and a
lot of people were faking. Alot of the marriages were a farce.
Bro So either I'm in the onwhen we were young, before it was
Guy Brewer, it was New YorkBoulevard, so I'm walking homeboys, is

(20:06):
on? We on the boulevard?Remember we used to say we're on the
boulevard, right, So that strippedfrom Rockaway Boulevard all the way to Jamaica
Avenue, so that I was therecollege exactly, So that's where I you
know, right around. Life wasdown a couple of blocks from there.
Good Farmer's Crew was a thing,and bosh boom bash where I went to

(20:29):
elementary school with our brother who's who'snow resting fife digla, come on our
brother and and tip matter of fact, we all went to the same little
school. So good you got allof that, So you got the hood
rules, got it. But theninside of the church setting, a lot
of people are faking like their marriagesare great and people are slapping each other

(20:49):
up. So people on the boulevardare slapping each other up, but at
least they hood and that's real tothem, no excuse. But there were
a lot of people in the thatwas sexing each other and beating each other
and all kinds of stuff, abandoningtheir kids, putting what they called ministry
ahead of the relationship, and sothey lacked the vision. So what am

(21:12):
I looking that quest I'm looking atthe farce of relationships, and then I'm
looking at the hood rules relationships.And then on the way to school,
I'm passing through the ghetto, goingthrough the p's where people got the blades
in their mouth and you can't geton the elevator and forty projects. You
can't get on the elevator and allof the other houses that Baisley houses.
Why because you're gonna get robbed,You're gonna get stuck, you're gonna get

(21:34):
shot, you're gonna get cut,you're gonna get extorted. Whatever. So
I'm like, well, I'm I'mI'm between a rock and a hard place,
Like, where where do I getthe vision? But at twenty two
years into marriage, fifty years ofage, no excuse is homeboy? None?
I got no excuse, none none. So I just decided d to

(21:57):
pull my notes up from some ofthe stuff that I've been dealing yet this
week as we deal with this thingcalled vision. Right. I listed it
in my notes as a cause,right, and so I wanted us to
just like because what you said awhile ago, God calls, whether we

(22:17):
realize it or not. When youbecome married, you're already in a position
of leadership. Shots out to seeSierra, she said. We're always being
watched as couples, even though wedon't realize it. Shots out to Sierra.
You know what I'm saying, mybaby sys. So the vision is
imperative. I wrote down this weekright, without a compelling cause to better

(22:41):
mankind and build kingdom, all leadersfind the cost to serve their own interests,
and this self service eventually becomes athorn in their leadership. Consider these
case studies in the Bible, soI start listening them out with the cause.
Samson won many battles with one.He couldn't beat the temptation post by

(23:02):
Delilah ooh. Because that's what visionallows you to do. That's why companies
have mission statements, because vision ormission statements right, because it immediately tells
you what you do. But inknowing what you do, you also know
what you don't do. That iscorrect. And so because he didn't have
vision, right in terms of whyGod was putting him with all of this

(23:25):
strength in the middle of that dynamicduring that time. He could easily knock
folk out right, but he couldn'tknock out the temptation Delilah post for him
base. That was simple stuff.I'm just telling you so. Number two,
with the cause Saul conquered the kingdomwithout one. He couldn't conquer his
own jealousy and was so distracted byhis hate for David that he spent more

(23:45):
time trying to kill David than hedid trying to run the dog on Kingdom.
And you know it's weird, LikeSaul didn't have to get upstaged by
David. He did not the dude. The dude was a different man based
on God's anointing on him in aninstant of time, like God, in
an instant of time, he becamesomebody different literally, So he could have

(24:11):
remained that way, but he chosethe other path. But David, this
is the thing that I'm saying isthat sometimes when you don't realize who got
God sets them up and he takesthem down. It can be your time
today and not your time tomorrow.But you gotta be like Paul and get
to the place where I'm I'm contentno matter what my situation is. As

(24:33):
long as God is in the equation, I'm content. And I know that's
a difficult thing to swallow, right, but I realized that, like,
for real, God, as longas I'm obedient to you in this season,
I know you'll take care of whatneeds to be taken care of.
We got wives, you know whatI'm saying. We got children. You
know, I'm sorry, wives,We've got children. I was like,
we got what, but I wantI didn't want to interrupt you. It's

(24:56):
like, we got we got wives, we got children, we got all
of these things. So I know, Jeremiah twenty nine to eleven, I
know the thoughts I have towards you. Saved the Lord of Hosts plans to
prosper you and not harm you.Okay, good, I'll rest in that
promise. But some way, somehowwe get in our own mind and start
altering stuff, and stuff gets twisted. Du number three with a cause.

(25:18):
The same dude David conquered Goliath withoutone. He couldn't even conquer his own
lust, and the lady didn't evencome to him. Homeboy was just in
the wrong place, watching the wrongthing, and then beginning to gaze after
he watched and accidentally saw. That'sit. That word you just use,
it's the gaze. You could haveseen it, but you also had a

(25:41):
choice. You could have turned away, Like if I gaze on this,
this is gonna be. And alot of dudes, let me just say
it real quick, a lot ofwomen too. You're just not gazing on
the same kind of stuff we gazingon. You gazing on money and what
he got and all of this otherstuff. In terms of I mean,
they're they're ratchet women that do itjust like dudes. Yeah. I know
because I've been on the island duringwhat's the name and brother b we went

(26:03):
out on the road to go dosome stuff and I was like, you
think you do? You think youdude to ratchet? There's some chicks in
the tropics. Stay ratchet, brother, you know what I'm saying. So
so that's it. Two more withthe cause. Elijah prayed down fire from
Heaven and beat four hundred. I'msorry eight hundred and fifty pro thank you,

(26:26):
And you know I'm gonna check youon that math. I'm sorry when
they do that. I hate itwhen they do that. I did it
because it you know, but itwas really eight hundred and fifty my bad
right, false false prophets. Sohe did all of that and without vision
found himself in a cave running fromone solitary woman named Jezebel, who threatened

(26:48):
him. After that, anyway,go ahead, carry on, last one
with the cause. Simon Peter preachedthat Pentecost and three thousand people were saved
without one. He denied even belongingto the crowd that followed Jesus with bad
words with Bodwood. You know whathappened to me in the gym the other

(27:08):
day, and I'm still humbled byit. I'm in the gym. All
I do is going I work out, I exercise, That's what you're doing
there. And then you know,I go in and I guess I'm more.
I guess I channel my Well,that's not I don't want to say
that. I behave like more likequest and President Obama, like you know,
kissing babies and everything like shaking handsand kissing babies, because for me,

(27:32):
relationship is ministry. So even thoughI'm not naturally that way, when
I go in the gym, youknow, I don't even go. I
don't even go work out like anintrovert. What you know. I go
around every corner in the gym andI go say what's up and hello and
good morning and all of that beforeI go work out. I don't know
why I'm driven that way, butthat's what I do. Right. Good.
You know, A brother came tome. Man, he's grown,

(27:53):
he ain't no baby. He cameto me the other day and said,
Yo, I don't even know ifhe knows my name. He said,
what's the secret to success in marriage? Bro? I don't talk about marriage
in the gym. I'll be workingout in the gym. Yeah, what's
the secret to success in marriage?And I told them some things, and

(28:15):
I had I had the front,like I wasn't astonished that he just came
to me out of the blue orwhat looked like the blue. I had
the front like I was not.I was not blown away, like I'm
about to push on the thing Iwas doing. And this is what he
says. So I told him mythoughts and I sat with it for probably
a good ten minutes before I wentto my next set. And he said,

(28:37):
I was hoping you would say allof what you said, and he
said, I did not do that. I lost everything. I lost my
wife and my children and they're overseas. You know, for you who live
in America or in the UK orCanada or some of those other places,
you don't really that concept is notprobably familiar to you. But if you're

(28:57):
in the Caribbean or some parts ofthe world, you know, when people
leave and go overseas and it's yourfamily, it's almost like the point of
no return. It's almost like youand not have no visa to go do
that, and they deliberately putting awedge between you and them because you really
messed up. Like they're overseas,nobody not filing for you to come over

(29:18):
there. And now wifey and childrengone gone be And he's hanging his head
and he grown bro and he waslike, I just like what I see.
I like what I see. Simonaand I go to the gym most
of the time together, and Idon't know what else he could see.
She's in her headphones, she notworking out with me, she working out

(29:41):
with her trainer. But whatever itis that he sees, or whatever whatever
God put in the situation in theenvironment, he's just like I wish I
had that, and I messed up, bad, bad, bad, bad
bad, and I was hurting forthe brother man I'm hurting from and I
don't even know him. But theblessing for me d is the fact that

(30:04):
he sees a representation, a solidrepresentation, such that if he ever gets
the opportunity to do this again.Okay, So I knew E when I
was with my daughter's mother, right, But I also had I'm sorry,

(30:27):
your daughter's mother was your wife,yes, my ex wife, right,
and when that marriage transpired, right, you know, E was pretty much
like, yo, you're gonna letme in. What was lovely about that

(30:48):
is that while I was with himand I had conversations with him, we
were in a place in space wherehe's not where he is right now,
so or as blown up as itis right now. So we would go
from I need the city, I'dbe at the crib. So I got
an intimate inside look at what theirrelationship was like while they were still living
in Harvest, Alabama, right rightup the road from Oakwood, Like I

(31:14):
got an opportunity to sit in acouple of weekends, I would just take
a drive because I was in Atlantaat the time, and it was like
a two and a half three hourdrive just to go chill out for a
day or two and then come backand I would get to see and I
was like, whoa and differently,Yeah, it's different. I didn't operate
in my relationship like this, andI don't know that I necessarily got to

(31:37):
see this kind of relationship even whenI was growing up, and it was
a breath of fresh ear. Sothat in connection with you know, just
talking with him, man to man, allowed me to think differently, move
differently. Six years or seven yearslater after I think it was seven years
after my divorce when I decided toget married again because of being exposed to

(32:00):
that and having those conversations faith andnow are walking into thirteen years of marriage
now, PSCA. I just needthat to resonate with a couple of people
for a moment. I was marriedin two thousand and three, divorced in
two thousand and five. I gotsome exposure to what marriage should look like,

(32:24):
the way that my man at thegym is getting exposure to what marriage
should look like. I'm just saying, and he's not getting it. One
day or two, y'all are atthe gym every day. I notice because
we talk every day, so Iknow y'all at the gym every day.
My guess is that even if he'snot there every day, he's there at

(32:45):
least three to five times a week. Right. If that be the case,
he's getting exposed. I would guessthat even the here's the funny thing,
the faith toll probably killed me.But in the beginning, we were
let me just be transparent. Inthe beginning, we were smashing right in

(33:07):
the beginning of our relationship because wealready knew we knew where we were moving
to right. But just because wewere moving towards it don't make it right.
Right. And so God said,all right, you're gonna mess this
up again. And immediately I pulledup off of it right, and oh,
man, why was I telling youthis? There was a reason I

(33:28):
was telling you this, And solet me just move forward. And so
we decided to make the necessary movesin order to make things right. Why
because we knew that there was ahuge responsibility on us this time around,
right, And I wanted God tobless it. Why you don't want to
be in marriage? And God,people do it? D I don't know

(33:50):
how they do it, but Idon't want it to be me. I
don't know how people do marriage withoutGod. And I would have hated for
you to mess up a situation witha woman who who's not had the privilege
of being married, so it's yoursecond goal. And then you mash up
a relationship with a woman who isminding their business yep, and could have
very well married someone who had amore mature mindset than to allow them to

(34:15):
allow that thing to get your mindall high and crazy. And then you
married under the influence, and thenyou're like, ah, man, here
we go again, and some repeatfor nothing. Though she was like,
what we got to stop doing?What? I was like, yeah,
pause, bro, oh my gosh, that's I think that's not the point.
Quas I think that's not the point. But I get you though,
you know what I'm saying. No, but still, but even still,

(34:37):
there are some things that we desirethat are not good for us yep.
And so somebody has to stand upand say, nah, I know I'm
with you, but this is notthe best. I want to give you
my best. My best. Mybest is not this. I don't care
how it feels me being our feelingsand in our head be like, yeah,

(34:58):
I got that, but it's notit's not real, bro, Like
that is not real. It's amirage. It's a mirage. And so
I'm thankful that God has gotten usto the point where at least we know
what we don't know. Quest yes, sir, So I don't want people
to get this sort of elite elitismflex from us. That's not the point.

(35:22):
Like it's one thing to be blindand not know it and be bumping
into stuff, falling down the stairs, trying to drive, running into fire
hydrants and running over people in thecrosswall. And it's another thing to be
blind and say, you know what, I'm blind. I should probably not
get in this vehicle and drive itright now. And as far as I

(35:45):
know, there's somebody who can assistme in this situation, and we can
get ourselves, get ourselves tight work, and then be doing the responsible thing,
you know what I do. Sometimeand some months like, man,
you don't know what to say,And it's true. In Jamaica, I'm
more you wouldn't know I'm an introvert, especially here, because I'd be talking
all kinds of stuff to everybody.People I don't know and don't won't ever

(36:07):
know. I just talk to themand then I see people like most of
the time it's a woman because onlybecause most people who are cashiers and service
providers that are facing public are here. And every time I see somebody do
this quest look in my eyes,they squinton and I'd be like, we
your glasses, glasses and it alwaysis always a thing like and then they

(36:32):
open their eyes and it's bar nonelike you know that. I'm like,
yo, you, why you whyyou can't see? Like? Why why
can't you see quests? That's thequestion, not can you see? But
if you cannot, why can't you? In these persons cases, all they

(36:53):
needed to do is get the glasses, bro put on your glasses. That's
it. That's it. And soif you're in a position now where your
vision less and the remedy is simplyto get assistance, please go get that.
Please get it. Do not bewillingly ignorant, Do not be willfully

(37:15):
blind. That's dumb and irresponsible,irresponsible. Don't forget dumb, bro.
I said that first, dumb David. I recently had to embrace that,
Yo you. I went and gotmy eyes checked because I thought that I
could not. I was like,real astigmatism. I thought something was wrong.

(37:35):
I was just seeing blurry. Thedoctor told me, she said,
bro, you're fifty. Yeah,she said, although you don't have a
stigmatism, the fact of the matteris that the focus that you used to
have you don't have anymore, especiallywhen you're reading things like you know what
I'm saying, I got I getit. So when your hand not long

(37:57):
enough to see, I'm just tellingyou put it up on the wall.
You could see it, but Icould see it, but it looks like
black lines when I put my readers. Black lines matter, they do.
I'm just saying, like, here, I can see that it's but it's
blurry as all get out. You'llget headaches doing that kind of thing,
and and you'll mess up something becauseif that's a prescription or if that's instructions

(38:20):
for something important, like do notmix this, and you, dummy,
are there trying to squint and seeit, and you do the mixture and
poof, got a plume cloud inyour bathroom while you're trying to clean it.
That's your fault. That's your fault, she said. Go get you
some some some readers. One pointfive to two. Don't hire than too,
she said. She said, goto CVS and get you some readers.
You know me, I don't.I don't like them. See I

(38:42):
know, I hate I hate that. I hate this. I hate Oh
no, don't do that. Soyeah, I know I hate that.
I got some progressive readers. Ishould have never said that. It shouldn't
even if I shouldn't have even saidthat, I apologize and make you look
old. I went and got someprogressive readers, but we all but some
were old. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not embracing that. See,

(39:02):
that's what's wrong with y'all. I'mnot saying you should be unsexy like you
can stay, you can be sexy. I don't have a problem. I
don't have a problem with that part. But we are old, bro.
That's why I'm gonna run laps aroundall of y'all dudes that are trying not
to be who you are. Man, you didn't you didn't buy that Gray
join us quest that's right, that'sright. Tell them again, Candace,
she said, the warm is whatdo you say? Type it in the

(39:23):
chat? Candace? Where the where? The what is something? And the
and the worst warm? No nowI wanted to put the thing yes,
yes, where something is what andthe water is warm? Type that in
the chat for me, Candace,come on, because I can't come off
he here until she types that.I gotta go. Come on. She

(39:45):
said it's nice over here when shegets warm, So yeah, good join
us. Man. I like beingover the hill, but I don't.
I don't mind being older. Ijust want to be sexy while I do
it. No, you're lying,you lying? You do mind? No,
I don't. I just don't liketo take it back. Okay,
you know how it looks. Idon't like the look of old. Like

(40:05):
you didn't like how our teachers lookedwhen they were thirty five, and they
looked real crotchety word. Yeah,no, I want to be graceful.
You want to be graceful? Ohgosh, I don't even know why I
started this conversation. You want tobe graceful. I is what I is.
B I don't want to be that. I is what I is,
man, Come on, I wantto be like Abraham one hundred is still

(40:29):
you know what I'm saying. Yeah, anyway, all right, this is
off the rails. I think it'smy fault as usual, all right,
so listen, give them something goodman, so we could God, we
can push man, Please me afavor, do me a favor. Please
establish. Have a conversation with yourspouse and say, listen, what do
we want to accomplish in this union? What do we want to build in

(40:53):
terms of kingdom as it relates tothis union, Because at the end of
the day, that's really what it'sall about, building kingdom. What is
the vision that you have for yourrelationship? And once you have that vision,
I'm talking about, put your footdown on the gas. All gas,

(41:13):
no breaks, yeah, man,from shaky to good, from good
to great. Ultimately, what wewant is phenomenal. But phenomenal don't just
happen. It takes work. Solet's do it and I'll see y'all.
There you have it, y'all.I hope you've enjoyed your time with us.

(41:35):
Marriage is about mutual love and mutualrespect, and it works for those
willing to make it work. Realtalk, our spouses are treasured jewels given
to us to make life better,and the sooner we learn to value one
another will be the sooner we becomethe absolute best versions of ourselves we can
be. Until next time, Peace,