Legacy?

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Peace shawls. Your man Dave withmy Brother Quests, the man bringing you
all things marriage, paying you hugedividends on your investment in time with us.
We're talking about love, sex,having children, money, spirituality,
life, communication, and anything elseto help you thrive and win in your
relationships. And guess what this isgrown folks business. So get ready to

(00:26):
make grown up decisions. You knowwhy, because marriage Ain't for suckers.
That's the name of the program.Marriage Ain't for Suckers. All right,
let's get into it. Hey,your quest. It's time to give the
people something. Man are we talkingabout today? What up? What up?
What up? What up? Y'allwelcome to another edition of the Marriage

(00:48):
Ain't for Suckers Podcasts. You alreadyknow who it is. It's your boy
Quests alongside my man, my mellow, my mellow, my man. You
know what I'm saying, l tothe David to the Harris aka l DA.
You know what I'm saying, mymind, suess. Guess guess what?

(01:19):
Yeah, I know classes in thatbell is so official. I'm telling
you watch, I'm a fine one. I'm gonna find a school girl.
You're not gonna find it. You'renot find it. Trust I'll watch.
I've been said a final one.I'm gonna find out fishall of fic.
You know what I'm saying. Letme tell y'all something. He is like

(01:44):
a kid in the candy store.Like first of all, for those who
don't know, ld H is alover of tech. You know what I'm
saying, is the tech dude?You feel me? And so I've been
telling David he knew about it forthe long guess he was stuck on his
boss and I kept saying, roadroad he knew about. He been knew

(02:05):
about the road and then lately justyeah, before we went to Atlanta it
shots out. We're gonna get tothat in a minute. But before we
left for he left for Atlanta,he and I got to spend some time
next last week. Yeah, hegot himself on. So now come on,
detel the truth. You feel howyou it? Now? Yeah?
I got yeah, pause pause,you know what I'm saying. I got

(02:38):
Roadster pro too, Yeah, yeah, no doubt. Listen. It was
funny man, I've been you knowwhat I'm saying, like as my brother,
not just my friend, but mybrother, Like for real, David
is my legit family member. Youknow you got family that's that's not blood.
Blood couldn't make us no closer.You know what I'm saying. To

(02:59):
see the home last week. Youknow what I'm saying, we kicked it.
Shots out to Et. You knowwhat I'm saying, Doctor Eric Thomas,
a ka ET the hip hop Preachers, shots out to the homie,
Jeremy Anderson. He was selling bratinghis forty third, Jeremy and He was
celebrating his fifty third. And youknow what I'm saying. We was a

(03:19):
part of the few that got anopportunity to come through it, like for
real. It was a low keystart, started a little event. You
know what I'm saying. Tabitha andher husband Chance was in the building.
You know what I'm saying. Tobyand Fat was Yeah. You know what
I'm saying. Who was it trapped? You know what I'm saying, traps
there. You know I'm saying,Wall Street Trapper was in the building.

(03:39):
Alex Good Energy was in the building. So man shouts out to all those
people that were there. Was acouple of other people there as well.
But you know what I'm saying,we had a good time. Me and
David got a chance to kick it. Oh yeah, you know, it's
funny. Someone was like, soyou didn't take no pictures. I'm like,
brow, you already know how Imoved take pictures. I don't know.
Maybe I should do more of it, but I just don't be into

(04:00):
the picture thing. It's funny.I got to take one or two because
I'm really in it. But Iknew that it was gonna be a couple
of months before we got to connectup again. Yeah, no, that's
dope. She was talking about,like how you said the star studded casts.
Basically, she was just like youdidn't. I was like, nah,
bro, that's not that's not mystunt. Be on that. We'll
be on us. That's what we'vebe I'm saying, on us. You

(04:23):
know what I'm saying, because youknow what I'm saying, L D H
and QT is low key stars.You know what I'm saying. That's what
it is. Yeah, if youdidn't know, say attention, you know
what I'm saying. Oh yeah,it was a lovely event. We got
to do that last week man.And then on top of that, there

(04:43):
were some people like you got tosee Shanda. You know what I'm saying.
The director operations for the for thesquad, you know what I'm saying.
And here was here was so funnywhen y'all came together, like it's
weird. But I didn't even haveto worry ab about what that connection was
going to be like. Even whenyou met Demetrius could be yo them joke,

(05:05):
you know them joke. It waslike a bromance. Paul. Yeah,
you know what I'm saying. Itwas boys and them boys hard too.
It ain't even like they're looking forfriends, you know what I'm saying,
Them bros is official official. Andjust to see all of us chilling
at D's house, you know whatI'm saying out on the back click and
waxing deep, you know what I'msaying together and then really enjoying each other's

(05:27):
company. Man, it's a lotto be said for that man. That
was a new experience for me.By the way, I don't rock with
dudes. I'm gonna just tell youI don't. I don't got the dude
pheromone funny thing. I ride withno dudes bro Yep, yep. And
them dudes really was like, Yo, it's a joy to be It's all
love, Yeah, it's all love. And man, so shouts out to

(05:48):
family's family. You know what I'msaying. I don't care what nobody say.
Birds of a feather do indeed flocktogether. Yeah, real talk.
Shout to Tim, Shout to Demetriusand the rest of the brothers that not
collect connected with Dante. Let's go, and then the other two brothers whose
names I cannot recall. Uh Uh, Dante was there? Who else was

(06:10):
there? Mo was there at theend? Yeah, and C and C
yea yeah yeah. They live inuh in the subdivision where Yeah, I'm
not putting too much out there,but where you know what I'm saying is
it's it's it's it's it's the nextlevel. Let's just say that it's the
next level. And uh, it'sa predominantly you know that. You know

(06:31):
what I'm saying. Community. Butyou just brothers who and they you know
what I'm saying, Like they alllinked up in the neighborhood and pretty much
formed friendship. So man, thatwas official. Man, I want to
beef about something that's allowed that typein in there. Man, I can
hear that. You can hear thatright there. Click. I want to

(06:55):
I want to, I want to, I want to beef about something.
D Yeah, I want to befor about something real quick. I uh
my, my stepfather taught me alot about and just by watching him,
you know what I'm saying, gointo restaurants in different places and he would

(07:16):
tip really big, right, Andthat's what I started doing. I started,
well, not started. I've beentipping, but as the Lord has
blessed me, you know, interms of increasing my my my my finances
a little bit. Every time heincreases my finances, I tip a little
bit bigger than I did before.But now there's this strange culture you know

(07:41):
what I'm saying, that's happening,and it shouts out to E and c
J and Carlin Jamal. They talkedabout it on the but I'm since they
talked about it, I'm realizing ita lot more, you know what I'm
saying. Like Clean Juice, Ilove them. I love their smoothies,
you know. Yeah, I havea strange affinity now for the place called

(08:07):
Starbucks. Fault, your fault,your fault, call it my fault,
call it my fault. But aroundthis time a year when they got the
Pumpkin spice latte, Yeah, I'mfront and center. Okay, I'm I'm
front and center, but there's somethingweird that they're doing. Now you know
what I'm saying. And it's likeuh uh. They're like, let me

(08:31):
ask you a question on the screenand they stick the screen out the door
and it says one, five,ten, and twenty. They want you
to tip when you come to solet me yeah exactly, so exactly.
See, y'all don't have that issuein Jamaica. Y'all don't have it.

(08:54):
But it's a new thing like here, it's like really a thing, right
hold on, let me put thatin there. And so yeah, d
Now it's just like if I'm comingto you at a restaurant and I sit
down and you're running back and forthto the kitchen for me. If I
want more drink, you go goget it, right if I you know

(09:18):
what I'm saying. And do youknow what tip actually means? No?
I don't, but I got atip. Watch yourself, yes, so
so so so uh so the wordtip means to ensure promptness. The word

(09:39):
tip means to ensure promptness, right, and so if you're going back and
forth to the kitchen for me,you're getting whatever we need. Can we
have more of this? Can wehave more of that? Can you take
this back? We need it?You know what I'm saying. Whatever that

(10:00):
that's what I'm tipping you for thatbecause you're doing a lot of running for
me. But if I'm coming throughthe drive through, if I'm walking into
your store to purchase something from you, you know what I'm saying. Now,
you're telling me like tip you,tip you for what I got a
tip for you? Look both waysbefore you cross the street. But the

(10:20):
thing that's meant okay, Starbucks isnot cheap drinks. Like you know what
I'm saying, Like if you wanta hot beverage from Starbucks, like for
me, it's the pumpkin spice latte. You know what I'm saying, Like
the hot and I don't get thegrand day, I get the VENTI.
You know what I'm saying. I'man I stand at six two, so
I need I need a hot drink. You know what I'm saying. I

(10:41):
need a nice size in the morning, right and so like for real,
it's a thing. But I'm I'mfeeling away about it because it's not like
you're running back and forth. Soyou're telling me I got to come into
your establishment, purchase what I'm goingto purchase, and then tip you for
me coming into like like, helpme, help me understand that because like

(11:05):
I'm having I'm legit having a problemwith it. I got understand that.
I got it. You might wantto turn your headset down. This is
what I got for it. Yeah, yeah, I don't got nothing else
to say on that. The needto cut that out. Just because they
choose to underpay their employees, don'tmake that my problem. Y'all need to

(11:26):
pay your employees appropriately and stop playingand stop trying to fleece people like add
tax like to meet us tax likeyou taxing me now he taxing me after
you've already overcharged me because pause,whatever you were drinking was not worth the
amount that you pay. I'm justsaying, see, see and and I

(11:46):
and I get it. It's adifferent you know what I'm saying, Like
they make the kind of hot drinkthat I like. They are very official
at doing what they understand all ofwhat you're what you're saying. All I'm
saying is they added the Temple taxto it. That's what I'm That's where
I'm going. And my thing iswhy am I having to pay for that.
You already set the price for whatyour thing is, right, And

(12:07):
if I'm granted, if I'm cominginto your store to sit down, totally
different. I get it. Butif I'm driving or to go and you
we got one question, Yo,here's how slick they do it. Now
we got one question to ask rightbefore you. So now I'm gonna start
just taping note it. You knowwhat I'm saying, like for real?

(12:28):
Because yeah, this is this likea conversation, like are we for real
having to deal with them taxing us? Like like going on Spirit Airlines,
which I did not do. Orwhat's the other one? Frontier where they
charge you to breathe, they chargeyou to sit down, charge you to
stand up, charge you and thenFrontier is worse where they send you an

(12:50):
email it says, yo, we'lllet your your carry your what's your name
bag, the check on bag,which kind of check on bag, this
size or this size, and getit while it's disres get it while it's
get it while it's hot, becausewe're gonna charge you more. They tell
you straight in the email, We'regonna charge you more if you wait till
you get to the airport. Soand in the value that you've given me,

(13:11):
Like, Okay, we understand thaty'all got dope coffee, y'all got
dope lattees, y'all got dope y'allgot the hot beverage market on lock.
We know that you got a superiorproduct, right, you properly price your
product because it's not like the sameprice as a regular if you go to
you know, Carribo, or ifyou go to you know what I'm saying,

(13:31):
like, it's it's it's it's nicelypriced. Okay, I get it,
But to tell me the tip Ashouts out the Valerie mackenzie. She
said, their employees are not underpaid, so what so what is the cause
then? Like okay, I don'twant to get distracted, but what's the
purpose then? If they're not underplayingtheir employees, why are you getting temple
taxed? I'm telling you right now, I said you because I ain't going

(13:52):
in there. Yeah, I knowthat's right. I'm declaring and decreeing today
that I'm not gonna give y'all ared sent more than what you charge because
it's already nicely prized. We know, because I'm My whole thing is if
that's what the price for your foryour you got a superior product. I
get it, But what extra areyou adding in terms of value? Because
you're not running back and forth nowherefor me, because I'm getting it and

(14:16):
I'm going. I'm coming through thedrive through, same thing with them,
same thing with clean juice. AndI'm telling you, like for real,
I think we should just like forreal start if it's a thing where they
just yep, we're gonna start anew thing too. No tip. You
know what I'm saying. Starbucks,they got it here, they got got
got several Starbucks in Jamaica. Yeah, I see the lines. I'm like,
y'all bug and I ain't going ineverything. Let me tell you something.

(14:39):
Ah, Erica yep, Erican MonicaLaire shouts out to them. They
said, I'm not paying the Templetax. No, mo, that's it.
I'm not paying it no more.Why because once again, if I'm
coming inside, I understand the dynamicsinside of a restaurant, But if I'm
coming through your drive through, don'task me no more, right because I'm
going. You know, I'm atap no, and I ain't gonna feel

(15:01):
no way about it. You knowwhat I'm saying because there's this legit like
feeling like one question to ask youand then you caught like like the tip
is forced on on you, likeyou might feel. I'm telling y'all now
I'm not gonna feel no way,no yo. You know what's funny when
when Josiah mimics me. Yeah,when I because he's been out with me
a few times, when like theunwanted questions come, like I'll be in

(15:24):
the supermarket. You gotta see himacted out as hilarious, bro, and
it's accurate. So just imagine I'mI'm I'm I'm focused on whatever, like
I'm in the produce, I'm lookinginto the fridge. And then you know,
a nice young woman may come who'svery polite, and she'll she'll approach
me appropriately and then she'll say,sir, sir, So I want y'all

(15:46):
to get the visual. I'm busy, like I'm busy in the thing,
like maybe I'm looking at some lettuce. I don't know, And let's just
say, sir, can I canI ask you a question? Though?
Nope? Like, and I don'teven look. I'm like and I'm not
even a rude person, but I'mjust like, no, did I come
to you? Like, did yousee me come? I saw you at
your station when you were standing there, and I walked by. I walked

(16:10):
by. And so when they askfor the thing at the at the little
cash register, they be like,we would like to have your number.
No, but like I don't evenI don't, I don't, I don't
change my tone. I'm just likeno, and they look at me like
that's your that's and they don't knowhow to respond because that's not in the
little follow up script. Yep,I just I just know I'm so dry,

(16:32):
intentionally dry. Bro. No,can we have your no? No?
No. And here's the funny thing. This is why it's so dope
for how y'all are wired, Becausemy hot flight attendant, I'm glad I
got it enough pilot for me tobe like, yeah, I'm not dealing
with you all to day. No, I'm not a rude for it.
Today. I got twenty five minutesto be in this store because I gotta

(16:52):
get back to the Crypto record apodcast I got reading the dude, I
got so much different things that Ineed to do throughout the day. No,
I don't have time for that rightnow. You can take the cost
of whatever I'm buying and let mego. That's what you can do.
That's it, because when you getback to the crib because you sat there
having that conversation with them, you'remad now because that ate up forty five

(17:14):
minutes of your time to get donewhatever. You listen, they got what
they want and you left hole inthe bag. Yeah, I'm not feeling
it. Can we just complain aboutroad and then get on getting on the
road, please? Yeah? Ohyeah. Shouts out to Tiffany silver Man.
We were watching her. I loveto, you know, pick up
the people and from the island strail, you know, and I want to
shout out, you know, saying, Tiffany silver I love what she's doing

(17:36):
on YouTube in terms of showing theuntouched areas of one of the islands that
I love dearly. You know whatI'm saying, a lot of my heritage,
you know what I'm saying, restson that rock, you know,
so of course I'm talking about theplace called Jamaica. You know what I'm
saying. She just reached two hundredthousand subscribers on YouTube the other day,

(17:56):
and she showed it while she wason the beach and I was blown away
way like yo. And she didit right there at home. So there's
no excuses, you know what I'msaying. Look at her right there,
she's showing all the untouched areas ofj A, all the rivers, the
beaches, the cooking that she doesn'tmean you talked about, you know what
I'm saying, Like they're making thecoals out of wood that they reuse over.

(18:18):
I've seen her go and set upcamp and opened up a crocus I'm
sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. A canvas bag. What a Jamaica
was a crocoss bags? A crocosbag? But I can't say that that
for all of our American listeners andthose from other countries, bro Bro,
if for call it, what's itsname? Do they call it crocus bag?

(18:44):
In United States? I don't thinkthey call it crocos by all right,
she's in Jamaica. But okay,a crocus bag. Next thing you're
gonna say avocado, all right,So it's a canvased bag, right,

(19:11):
But in Jamaica we call it acrocus bag just to just to have the
coals, you know what I'm saying, like for real and reuse. I'm
talking about our people are some ingenuouspeople. You know what I'm saying.
You talked about the jerk chicken.You know what I'm saying. It ain't
jerk chicken. If the apple woodain't you know what I'm saying. So
that's sauce that y'all put on yourchicken. Don't make it. I don't

(19:33):
care if you get it from Walker'swood, if you get it from Grace,
if you get it from where youget it from from, you have
to put sauce on it. That'snot what's called jerk anything. Yeah,
from you not have no apple woodor whatever. I have a kind of
wood. And if you don't havethe zinc zinc and you have fire,
yeah, it's not if you usea pan. You know, what's the

(19:57):
name what's the name of what's thename of the spot up there in Mobay
scott Cheese, bro scot cheese,bro Scotch cheese. Bro that bro Scotch
cheese used to zinc and put itover the top and then they used the
bamboo to hold it down. Yo, yo, big up Scotch cheese.
You know what I'm saying. Ifyou let me tell y'all something, If

(20:18):
y'all ever go to Mobay, Jamaica, Montego Bay and good huh more be
it name on the map says MonticoBay. You see how Jamaicans gets still
should be you see how they gets. I saw you call it mont right
mob Bay for sure. If youever want some of the dopest jerk chicken

(20:42):
in the area, just peep myboys up at Scotcheese. Just ask anybody
what Scotch cheese is and they'll tellyou. But yeah, shouts out to
them, B but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my that's
my Enough of my venting for today. Stop getting no more to temple to
access over. We're not going todrag road today. We'll let you live,

(21:03):
let's get out, let's get on, and I want to drag road.
But we'll wait to the next episodeto drag road. Oh Man,
superior products. But y'all need somehelp in the area software, oh Man
software firmware. Pause. Oh seewhat I'm saying, See what I'm saying.
What's the topic? D what's thetopic today? Bro? Legacy?

(21:26):
Question mark yeah, legacy, yeah, question mark Yeah. Because real talk
like when we are having children,right, we're having children and with the
Greenhouse. Of course, one ofthe pillars is legacy, and so of
course we're thinking about that from thepositive, Right, what are we bequeathing

(21:51):
to the next generations with an sI like that? Yeah, so what
do they get? Like, whatis the benefit of quest green What is
the benefit of David Harris being alivein twenty twenty three to the generations that
are to come? That's legacy,okay, Yeah, Well there's another kind
of legacy. That's why we havethe question mark, right. The other

(22:15):
kind of legacy is, unfortunately,there are men and women who leave negative
consequences to our children. Things thatwe've not overcome, problems, mental issues,
emotional challenges, sin problems that wehave not overcome that we leave to

(22:41):
our children. And so the questionis, if you have a habit of
saying bad words, did you leavethat legacy, You have a habit of
crawling into somebody's bed that's not yourspouse, did you leave that tendency to
your children? So y'all about itwas just like infant what they call it,

(23:02):
fetal infant, that the alcoholism thatyou pass, the syndrome you pass
to your children, where fetal alcoholit's not just that like, there are
ways that we have chosen to livethrough our lifetimes, and because we've not
submitted those things to God, wepass on that residue genetically to our children.

(23:27):
So so D I refer to itas STDs. And I'm not talking
about sexually transmitted diseases. I'm talkingabout spiritually transmitted diseases, diseases that we
let me say it this way,issues of the heart that we've had from

(23:48):
a spiritual perspective, that we've passedon to our children. Shouts out to
Emen for those who don't know.Is in the first stages of doing a
church plant for APOC in Atlanta,and uh D was here this past week.
And then we both went together andwe had a good time. Me
and d had a good time inthe Lord Man watching the big Homie preached.

(24:14):
You know what I'm saying. Wesang together, we worshiped together,
you know what I'm saying, Wefell on our face together, and yeah,
man, just to be there.There was one thing that he focused
on in terms of David and Goliath. You know, he focused in on
that story and was just like,Yo, Goliath wasn't going nowhere. He

(24:34):
could care less about who the kingwas of the Israeli army. He could
care less about my man was outthere. He was defiant, he was
disrespectful in a number of different things, and he was just like you know,
there with the with the you knowwhat I'm saying to one off,
like, yo, I'm not goingnowhere. And here comes David, who
made some decisions in terms of Idon't need no armor, I don't need

(24:56):
this, I don't need that.I'm going out here in the power and
might of the Lord. You knowwhat I'm saying. And while he was
out there, he legits slayed Goliathin a way that the next generations didn't
have to deal with Goliath because heslayed him. Then he related it to
how we are in terms of life, like whatever you don't slay as a

(25:21):
parent, whatever you don't like forreal, get rid of whatever giants you
don't kill, You leave for yourchildren to deal with them, you know.
And so really we need to beasking the question for people to answer
in their personal time, like what'syour giant? Like what is that thing

(25:41):
that has overcome you in the pastand you may be contending with now and
now your child or children have tobattle against that ye. Is it anger?
Is it sexual in the discretion?What I'm saying, is it lying?

(26:03):
I think Abraham told a lie oryou want to call it a half
truth, but it's a lie.And then forty years later Isaac told the
exact same lie. Yeah. Canyou imagine he wasn't even born, bro,
and he's the exact same lie.Yeah. I want to I want
to be very clear and transparent tod because of spiritual things, like there's

(26:29):
a little bit different in terms ofthe actual story and what we deal with
in terms of our day to dayliving. One of the things that I'm
transparent with it. It's no secret. I've talked about it on many different
platforms. Is my bouts with asexual indiscretion? If you will, right?
And not while I was married.Let me just be very clear.

(26:52):
I don't play around when it comesto marriage. Even when I was married
the first time and I ended upgetting divorced, Like, I didn't even
play with it then. And evenwhen I was in the midst of food
dealing with foolishness, I ain't reallyyou know what I'm saying, Like that
wasn't my thing. If I waswith y'all, was with you, good
battering different now when we you know, you know, when I'm single,
that was something totally different. Andin those moments, I made the mistake

(27:15):
of introducing myself to stuff that Iwould later have to battle with, right,
And I finally got to a placewhere, like, for reality,
I got the victory over it.If you will not really realizing that just
because you got the victory over it, don't mean the devil not gonna bring

(27:37):
it back to you. And whatyou and I are doing in the squad
is doing in this season. We'reabout to embark on something great, y'all.
Just stay tuned, man, Likethe Greenhouse is not playing in this
season as it relates to relationship.But some of the stuff that I exposed
myself too in times before the Devilnow is starting to like show back.
And I'm like into my mind,like, God, we got the victory

(27:59):
over it, as why why why? And you and I had the discretion,
i mean, the conversation about,yeah, this is the cleansing process
because where you're gonna go, weneed to get all of this out of
the way we need right and sothis is why it's so important. Like
for some of you, you battlein with stuff you're married, you're in
relationship, you're a parent, you'rea father, you're a mother, and

(28:26):
you're battling right now with stuff thatyou got indiscretions about it don't necessarily have
to be sexual indiscretions. It couldbe other things that you battle in with.
Might be drinking, it might besmoking weed, it might be drugs,
whatever it may be. Oh,come on flinching. Every time God
tells you to make a move.You know it's him, but you flinch

(28:49):
out of fear or whatever it isthat causes you to flinch. Like,
let me be very clear, ifyou don't learn how to kill that giant,
you will leave it to your legacy, your children, or anybody else
that's looking to you as a referencepoint. You will leave it for them

(29:10):
to kill. Now, here's thefunny thing about it. Do you want
to kill it or do you wantyour children to kill it? Here's what
helps me when I'm like, whenthe enemy starts to attack and I y'all
could play with it if you wantto. There's times where I'm under attack.
Let me not even like, there'stimes where the temptation comes. Y'all
play with it if you want to. I don't play with it. I

(29:32):
make it very known. And inthose moments, the first thing that comes
to mind is Zoe. And here'sa funny thing. Zoe is twenty one
right now, so she's pretty much, you know, in a different place.
But the right after Zoe, thenext thing that comes to mind,
David is Nico and Mason, rightAnd when Nico and Mason come to mind,

(29:56):
I'm like, this thing that I'mdealing with right now, this temptation
that I'm dealing with, this temptationthat I'm struggling with that I thought,
we you know what I'm saying,Like, do I want them to have
to deal with what I'm dealing withright now? If not, I need
to slay this giant as fast asI can. That's it. That's it.

(30:19):
I think a lot of times weunderestimate the impact of our decisions on
other people. And again, it'snot just about other people, it's about
the people who came from us,like our seed, our seed. Like,
so we invest so much time andenergy to protect our children from all

(30:44):
kinds of things. Yeah, butsometimes we spend zero time or invest zero
time investment in protecting them from us, from from us. So so speak
to it real quickly, because Ithink what people are mostly concerned with as

(31:07):
they deal with the stuff they're dealingwith, and I think they kind of
sweep it under the rug because theyfeel like, there's no way for me
to defeat this thing. Right,because we're born in sin, were shaping
an iniquity. What is the thingthat allows us to be able to defeat
it? I think we touched anumber of things, even a lot this
week in our in our greenhouse.Oh yeah, for those of you who

(31:30):
are married and you're not a partof a community, let me just put
the shameless plug in there real quick, go to jquscreen dot com forward slash
coaching, Like for real, youneed to be a part of a community
of marriages who want to go tothe next level, believers who know without
a shadow of a doubt. Likefor real, you got support from people
who think like you do, movelike you do, right, and who

(31:53):
are going through the same change asyou are going through. So yeah,
go to jqustgreen dot com with slashcoaching and become a part of the Greenhouse
marriage community. But d for thoseof you who thinking, like for real,
you sweep it under the rug becauseyou really don't have a way to
beat this thing, to get thevictory over this thing. And we spoke

(32:15):
about it the other night. Wewere touching on it in Romans eight.
But yeah, speak to that realquick man. How do we help couples
understand that? Yeah, you don'thave to struggle with it. You know
what I'm saying, you can't overcomeit. Yeah, I'm gonna go with
believe in God, right, andwhat I mean by it in the Commandments
right, the preamble it says thatthat God will show mercy two thousands who

(32:43):
love him and keep his commandments.So whenever I discovered, not discovered,
but at the radiologists found out thatJosiah was a boy. Right, So
now we know we're having a boy. And I think of the legacy and
for negative legacy that men have leftin my generations. That thing broke me

(33:07):
immediately. I'm like, Lord,how are you gonna give me a boy?
How are you gonna give me aboy? You know all of what's
in my and the Bible says heshows mercy to thousands who love him and
keep his commandments. So I startedto cash in on the promise. I
said, Now, Lord, yousaid, you said, you said that

(33:29):
you would show mercy, and soI'm asking you to have mercy on my
son, that he will not strugglewith the things that his four bearers have
struggled with. Come on, andpeople are like, that's pine in the
sky. I'm like, no,it ain't. It's he will show mercy.
It's three powerful words. It iswritten full stop. And so that's

(33:53):
where I started bro right there.And so even yesterday Simone and I were
talking about some of that stuff,like, he's at the point now where
naturally like if you just you know, you subscribe to a need those baby
development sites or children development sites,it'll say at this age, he's gonna

(34:13):
really start noticing girls. And I'mlike, Lord, please don't let none
of these girls back it up onhim, please, because that's not the
way I want him to notice it. I want him to notice women.
Girls. Excuse me, he's ayoung boys, it's gonna be thirteen.
I want him to notice girls theway that God would want him to notice
girls, but not in an oversexualized or evil way. But I want

(34:37):
him to be to have the attraction. I want him to find them interesting.
I want him to notice that theysmell good. If they smell good
and they're curved differently than he is, Like, I need him to do
that, but I need him tokeep it clean. Yep, yep.
And it's funny too deep because ofthe world that we are in right now.

(34:57):
It's it's it's really difficult. Whybecause some of the stuff that we
don't want for our kids is sopervasive. Right where you go, where
you turn, you see it.And I'm like, it's funny because some
of the conversations that I have withZoe is that you'll see it, just
don't focus on it. Because man, when I read the story of David,

(35:22):
it wasn't that David saw bads Sheba. It's that he saw her focused
and then entertained the thought again andagain. Right, And so even with
Zoe right now, like one ofthe conversations that I have with her that
I necessarily can't have with Nico orMason is that I want you to understand
your sexuality. I really do wanty'all to understand it. But here's the

(35:45):
thing. Be careful because once youwake that part of you up, you
can't put it back to sleep.You will need the power of God himself
to put that back to sleep rightnow. When you're married, you could

(36:05):
wake it up for as long asyou want to. That's the reason why
he gave it to us, forus to number one, procreate, but
also to enjoy. Right of course, I always say that sex is the
fire and marriage is the fireplace.If you start that fire in that house,
you bound to burn it down.That's it. You want to read.

(36:30):
You want to read that I putit back up. Yeah, our
children are carrying all our unresolved baggage. Even though we resolved some of those
issues. They didn't see the workwe put in to resolve them. Shouts
out to Rolando. Roman of theGreenhouse community shouts out to Rolando. Yeah,

(36:51):
but yeah, that's that's real.It's real. They don't the work
that we're putting in right now real. So really, we we we have
to position in ourselves spiritually to putour children into God's care because what's done
is done from our seat, rightfrom our position. What's done is done

(37:12):
the habits that we would have entertained, the weaknesses we would have cultivated,
even if we inherited half of itand then we cultivated the rest of it.
Like it is up to us nowto cause no to put up roadblocks.
It's up to us now to positionour children for success. And so

(37:35):
if we have had unresolved matters wherethose weaknesses are concerned, then we ask
God for forgiveness, because He's notgonna not gonna just leave us out there
hanging, but ask him for forgiveness, ask him for the strength for our
children and for those who have thebenefit and blessing of overcoming. Before you
have children, then praise God foryou too. It's funny, I'm realizing

(38:04):
that not realizing. I know it, and I wish all of us would
really understand the fact that you can'tget yourself out of a situation that has
a tight grip on you. Youneed you need outside assistance, if that
makes sense. And that's the reasonwhy I like for real, Like people

(38:29):
think that we believers just because welike Holy rollers or you know what I'm
saying, Like, Nah, I'veseen God move his hand in my life
many a number of times, youknow what I'm saying, and in a
way where no earthly man could havemoved the needle for me the way he
is. And so you hear thesong like I don't you know, we

(38:52):
love him because he loved us first, like he loved me enough when it
wasn't really nobody who was there toreally bail me out where I realized that
it was only him that didn't.And here's the funny thing is we deal
with what we're dealing with and strugglingwith what we're struggling with. Who else
you think I'm gonna turn to?Ain't no man got the power to change

(39:12):
the heart like God can change theheart. And because what it is we
selfish in nature. We only thinkabout ourselves. And so even though you
want to get rid of it inmajor ways, there's no way for you
to get rid of it without hishelp. Like I don't even know how
to say it different. There's noway for you to get rid of it

(39:35):
unless you bring him in to getrid of it. It's selfishness at the
root, right to the point whereI'm going to continue doing this even though
I know it might affect my childrenin the law, Like what kind of
what kind of mindset is that?You know? How jacked up I would
feel? Like in my mind Ican picture myself and remove myself from that
situation and then put Niko in thatsituation. And sit there and watch him

(40:00):
like, what's his brain and hisspirit trying to get Nah, I'm gonna
slay this giant, so you neverhave to deal with So we just thank
God for the invitation to trust himand for the invitation to submit. And
when we submit to God and thenput our children into his care, there

(40:24):
is a lot of damage he canundo. But more than that, he
can make us all overcomers so thatwe don't have to continue with the guilt
feelings because we will experience those.We don't have to position ourselves to fail
again. But we can just say, you know what, God, all

(40:45):
of this is into your care.Yeah, and we already know it's his
will, So we just we stepaside, get out of his way,
and then ask him how we cancooperate with him and say, you you
you are a big d before weget out of here. You are big

(41:06):
on making the transition not by hugeleaps and bounds, but by baby steps.
What is one baby step? Whatwould you say to the parents out
there right now who is dealing withwhatever the struggle is, and you know

(41:29):
that if they don't kill what itis that they're dealing with right now,
their children gonna have to deal withit. What is the one or two
baby steps that you would tell themto take and then grow from those?
You know, that baby step?What is that that you would tell them
before we get up out of here. The first one is to be honest
with yourself. Yeah, no doubt. Be honest with yourself and recognize that

(41:54):
this challenge comes from you, becausethe more we lie about that, then
the farther the assistance is. Sotell yourself that it did come from you,
even if it came from before you. It didn't stop with you as

(42:17):
it should have. And if that'sthe case, then also be honest and
say, I am helpless without thepower of God to stem the tide.
So God, I put myself,I put my spouse. If you have

(42:38):
one, I put my child intoyour care. That's a decision. And
once you have done that, thensimply ask this is the question, what
do you want me to do?God? Easy, and then we can

(43:00):
talk about some other stuff, butthat one beyond the listen out for his
answer. And here's the funny thing. If you struggle with that baby step,
it's because you're trying to move forwardwhile still holding onto the things that
are behind. You. Yeah,you're trying to drive your car while looking

(43:20):
in the rear view mirror. Yep. So that's where it is. Quests
and as usual, Uh yeah,we give him something to think about,
and it's something for us to thinkabout. But we just want to make
sure that we don't try to tacklethis one on our own. Get the
assistance we need enough. Oh pleasestay there. You have it, y'all.

(43:49):
I hope you've enjoyed your time withus. Marriage is about mutual love
and mutual respect, and it worksfor those willing to make it work.
Real talk. Our spouses are RichardJules, given to us to make life
better, and the sooner we learnto value one another will be the sooner
we become the absolute best versions ofourselves we can be. Until next time, peace,