Ready for Marriage? Not so Fast!

None

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Peace Shawls, your man Dave withmy brother Quests, the man bringing you
all things marriage, paying you hugedividends on your investment in time with us.
We're talking about love, sex,having children, money, spirituality,
life, communication and anything else tohelp you thrive and win in your relationships.

(00:22):
And guess what this is grown folksbusiness. So get ready to make
grown up decisions. You know whybecause Marriage Jane for Suckers. That's the
name of the program. Marriage Ain'tfor suckers. All right, let's get
into it. Hey, your quest. It's time to give the people something.
Man. Are we talking about today? Yes? Indeed? What up?

(00:43):
What up? What up? Whatup? What up? Is your
boy quests? Welcome to another editionof the Marriage Jane for Suckers Podcasts,
And as always, I'm joined bymy Man, my Melo, my Melow,
my Man, Ladies and gentlemen,El David Harris, My Entrance Beat,

(01:07):
Dramatic what Up plus oh Man,oh Man, oh Man, Live
in direct Dirty Jones. You knowwhat I'm saying. Okay, you sound
like like somebody about the axe murder, somebody like a song like what's all
that? So? What's all that? What's all that going on in the

(01:29):
background. What it is. I'mnot in the in the in the peaceful
lowlands of Charlotte, North Carolina.You know what I'm saying. I am
in New Jersey. You know whatI'm saying. Ak, And the sounds
of the environment are a little bitdeep different up north than they are down

(01:49):
south, as you can hear.Okay, okay, Well, well tell
them to shut that off because youhave a you're in the middle of a
live broadcast. Tell them to shutthat off, no doubt, no doubt.
So I wanted to just you knowwhat I'm saying. There's no way
for me to, you know,hit a button, and well I can,
but then you won't hear me,hear me like you know what I'm

(02:10):
saying. Yeah, yeah, let'snot start. No problems with that guy.
Please please please. I'll tell him, everybody, take a computer over
there. I'll tell him, huh, take a computer over there. I'll
tell him. Oh man, shoutsout to everybody who is listening to the

(02:34):
podcast. As always, do mea favorite, run and tell or share
with a friend. You know whatI'm saying, what me and doctor You
know what I'm saying Harris is doingbecause he's definitely a surgeon at what he
does. You know what I'm sayingthat what we're doing in terms of this
marriage thing, if we have benefitedyou in any way, shape or form,
and you're like yo, I wantto support them, even if you
don't support us. Monetarily share thepodcast with a friend, share it on

(02:58):
your socials, you know, andshare it with as many people as you
can, because our goal is tohelp as many marriages as we possibly can.
And me and the Mad Scientists arenow adding an arm to the whole
thing. And the squad you knowwhat I'm saying, the Greenhouse Squadda and
ab and faith and you know whatI'm saying, money in the middle.

(03:20):
But we are adding a piece.You'll soon see it coming up for those
of you who are unmarried, andI guarantee you I'm not gonna give you
too much info. You'll see itwhen you see it, but I'm telling
you right now it's going to bephenomenal and it's being powered by you know
what I'm saying, the one andonly hip hop preacher. You know what
I'm saying, doctor Eric Thomas aka et right, And so what we

(03:43):
have planned for everybody, like forreal in this season marriages. I realized
that some of us ran into someissues D and we because we didn't make
the right decisions or nobody gave usthe information to make good decisions. We
ran into some issues and it landedus in divorce. And we're like,
I don't want to do that again. Who worked with those singles, But
we're gonna work for those who've justnever been married period. We're gonna show

(04:06):
you some things that will allow youto make some good decisions, not only
in what you do in terms ofmarriage, but the most important part who
you choose to do it with.Oh yes, so be on the lookout
for that as well. Yeah.Man, Like I said, we're here
in Jersey this week spending some timeswith family because that's important. And as

(04:28):
always, the how goes it onthe island. Yo, life is life,
Yo, I know it. Yo. You heard you heard. You
heard our home girl. I won'tsay her name, but in the in
in my room this morning, inthe in the UOU Mastermind community, she
said, life be lifeing. Ohyes, she comes from Yo, she
come from Saint Catherine. She washere till she was third, she was

(04:48):
here till she was twenty three.So I was. I just laugh,
I said, there we go.It's so funny. And her voice is
so soft in the morning. Day. Yeah, yo, say the wrong
thing to her. Yeah. Butlife is life, man, life Yeah,
yeah, life is life. Andyeah I heard I heard you when

(05:08):
she said it. She said lifebe life or something like that. Yeah,
how her life is life? Yeah. Yeah, So that's what it
is, man. And I'm excitedabout about all of the growth that the
Greenhouse is experiencing and will experience.And we're running together, man, that's
the that's the cool part about it. And I got some things on my

(05:30):
end of the on my end ofthe situation, that's that's that's growing too.
And listen, there's nothing I preferdoing more than private things with Simone.
Yeah, and coaching. I wasin my zone yesterday when we had
when we had that one hour what'scalled office hour with LDH, I was

(05:54):
in my zone. Man. Itwas. It was such an invigorating situation,
man, because business owners of everydifferent type, We're just firing whatever
was on their mind in terms ofquestions, man, and we were just
running through it. Man. AndI can't even explain to you how how
enthralling, like how positive. Thatis, That's what I live for,

(06:15):
bro. So yeah, let's ridetogether, man, let's keep going.
So so I love it man,because and most people I wish that they
would just like, for real,before we even jump off in the topic,
just grasp that what you said alone, we're doing what we're doing,
and we're doing it together. We'redoing sultaneous yep, simultaneously. We're doing

(06:35):
life with one another and not aroundone another. It's funny, shouts out
to pass the t J. Tias. You know what I'm saying. Associate
path stuff at APOC and what heas of late has been drilling into is
nature, and specifically in nature theAfrican wild dog and how when they hunt,

(06:56):
they hunt in a pack, andthey send one way out in the
beginning so that when you get tired, you're gonna run into some of the
pack. Then they split off ina surround. Like everything that they do
is methodical, but they do ittogether, and they do it as a
pack. When a lion hunts you, he hunts you by himself, and
so the chances are less that theywill get their prey. But when you

(07:18):
hunt as a pack, he said, the numbers increase astronomically and they almost
have a ninety seven percent chance thatif they hunt you, it's a done
deal. And so I'm realizing theprinciple in what they do as a pack
and what we do as a pack, that the percentage increases that not only

(07:41):
will we reach our goal, butwill be able to help everybody else do
some stuff for themselves in their ownspace. You know what I'm saying.
Let me tell you something will beunto a man that when he falls don't
have somebody to pick him up.You feel me? Real talk? Could
we have forecast this when we refullyconnected in twenty sixteen seventeen, Like we

(08:03):
knew what we were trying to dothinking about doing. But I could not
have, especially after I took athree year break from connecting with you,
after we were in full swing onehundred and eighty three episodes in had to
take a break, and it's justlike I was like, Man, this
is gonna mess up, this isgonna monkey put a monkey wrench into everything.

(08:24):
But then COVID hit. So it'salmost like COVID was a blessing because
it wasn't just vacant space, likethe whole world was trying to figure stuff
out. At the same time thatwe took I had to take a break,
and I promise I didn't want to, but I understand why I did.
Now I understand so much more ofwhy God took me through that pathway.

(08:48):
And I was like, man,I hope this is not a point
of no return while I was goingthrough. But bro providence, man,
only God could have orchestrated the thing. And we still here, man,
thank God. And not only stillhere, but where we are about to
blast off too. It ain't evenfair. Yeah, man, So stay

(09:11):
tuned because what we do we don'tonly do for us. We do for
you because we want to see relationshipsthrive. We know that everything that you
want in terms of relationship is foundationalto everything else you want to do in
life. The most important decision thatyou will ever make, outside of God
being your lord, Christ being yourLord and savior, the one decision outside
of that that is the greatest decisionthat you'll ever make, is who you

(09:33):
decide to do life with. That'sit. There are too many decisions to
be made. Every day you getup out of your bed. From the
time that your feet hit the floor, there are decisions to be made from
the smallest to the greatest, andwho you do life with determines, man,
where you're going to what side ofglory you're going to be on.

(09:56):
Imagine that so so so yeah manYemen. Yeah, Well, let's go
ahead and jump in and tackle thissubject for a little while here. Listen,
ready for marriage, that's a questionnot so fast? Not so fast.

(10:16):
So I'm gonna give y'all a scenario, right and literally there are multiple
different ways to look at this discussion, but I want to look at something
like hyper simple. Right, So, you're in a relationship, ladies,
with a man whom you love andhe loves you. You understand your behavior

(10:41):
styles, you understand your upbringing andall of the things well to a degree
that make you who you are,even where relationships are concerned, I'm talking
about you have surveyed with a qualifiedperson, even how your owns were run.
And you're at a point where you'retrying to decide what next. You

(11:05):
know that you love each other,you know that you're interested in marriage.
You are deciding like, how isthis going to go? But here's a
little thing in this simple discussion.The man is having financial challenges. He

(11:28):
is not gainfully employed and the businessside of life is slow. Let me
just say anybody can fall on hardtimes. Most of you listening have question
I have. But the question isif you are planning to be married,

(11:54):
you're not married yet. Is thisa factor that the man is in a
rough patch financially and we don't haveany clear runway in this hypothetical scenario of
when or when I'll just call it, when this dry patch is gonna get

(12:18):
wet and he's gonna be gainfully employed. Should he run forward and get married
now? Like propose, do theone knee propose, run forward with premarital
counseling, and then in a year'stime you're planning now for the wedding.

(12:41):
Because you're planning for the marriage ina year's time, you're together, yes
or no? Or is there maybethat's just too simple an option. Maybe
there's another a third option, yesor no. That's what we are.
So I'll say this d from myperspective, right, there are some things

(13:01):
in life that you can make someexceptions for as you build right, there
is not one of those things thatyou can make exceptions for. These are
life decisions that we're talking about.There's a saying, and you and I
discussed it earlier on that proper planningand practice prevents piss poor performance. You
need to slow that, say that'sslow because that's like a tongue twister.

(13:24):
Yeah. So proper planning, that'sthe first part. Proper planning and practice
prevents piss poor performance. Okay.So sometimes you know a lot about what
you want and what you don't want, right, Sometimes you know a lot

(13:48):
about what you want and what youdon't want. But let's be honest.
When you know a lot more aboutwhat you don't want, right, it
takes away the diff faculty of findingout what you do want. Okay.
And you wouldn't jump in a carand say, okay, let's take this

(14:09):
hour drive and we'll put gas inthe car later on. No no,
no, no, no, no. That car nowhere. It's not going
nowhere unless you put gas in thecar. So that's the that's the first
part to the whole thing. Yougotta put gas in the car, and

(14:30):
then you get in the car,you start the engine, and then you
take it. If you notice whatthe saying says, proper planning and practice.
Yeah, so that means we haveto plan and we do that from
a single you don't just jump intomarriage and then say, okay, we'll
start. Do you know the kindof are you want to minimize? Yes,

(14:50):
sir, because when we when youget into the relationship, the first
thing is about let's go back tothe beginning. Be fruitful, fruitful,
multiply, subdue the earth, havedominion. I here, build something.
You're not going to know how tobuild anything if nobody has taught you how
to build, or if you haven'tpracticed on how to build first, if

(15:11):
you notice what happened with Adam,right, what happened with Adam is that
God gave him a job long beforehe was able to do what he did,
and then it happened right, andso God gave him a God gave
him a job before he gave himEve, no doubt, no doubt.
But are we saying that it's aboutmoney. No, we're definitely not saying

(15:31):
that it's about money, right,because money gives you options, right if
you if you really okay, let'ssay it is about money. Let's let's
give some examples of if we moveunder that Bill Gates got money, Okay,
right, Bill Gates got money?Who else has got money? Doctor?

(15:52):
Dre money, Elon Musk money,Tom Brady money, what happened to
their marriages? Right? So clearlymoney's not the driving force, No,
but it is necessary because it givesus options and it allows us to make
decisions so that we can properly supportwhat we've built. Yeah, so why
don't we like, let's make itcool, like hyper simple. Then?

(16:14):
So, if I'm getting married,I've done this before, Like I got
married, right, I got married. Quest It's been twenty some years now,
and one of the things that Ihad to decide was as me,
was where are we going to live? Where are we going to live?
Well, we were going to livein a condominium in Anna Rundel County,

(16:41):
Maryland. Guess what. The condowas not free, and look, we
had to hook up. I wasbuying the condo from my mentor and big
brother friend Darryl. He and Niviahad lived in that home for some time
and then others were renting it beforelike that I knew. So this was

(17:03):
keeping it in the family. Andhe was like, all right, it's
your time, I want you tobuy this from me. So I bought
it. Now I think I wasI'm making forty k a year something like
that, forty forty eight K ayear or something like that. But I
had to buy it, right,I had to buy it shout to Tyrelle.
The reality was not am I rich? But I do need to have

(17:29):
a mortgage or if it were tobe a rental. And by the way,
we had bg n E. BaltimoreGas and Electric had to pay for
the light and the natural gas thatwould hit the stove and the heat.
And then there's this thing called atelephone. Then there's this thing called transportation.

(17:51):
And you could say, well,Simone was married, I'm not married.
Simone was was gainfully employed. I'mlike, yep, that's true.
But do I go into this marriageand say, if I was not assistant
registrar at a university at that time, and I was trying to get my

(18:11):
mind right and get life figured outin my business, wasn't generating income.
We're gonna get married anyway, becauseSimone is at the hospital working her profession,
so she's working. We get marriedanyway. I'm gonna propose to Simone

(18:34):
and we're gonna get married. Howyou feel about that? And we haven't
put any plans or preparation in place. I don't know, you tell me
if we put plans or preparation.I mean, what I'm saying is like,
I want to pop the question.I want to pop the question.

(18:56):
And I am not employed. Withmy deep voice, I'm not employed.
I'm not sure when I'm going toget employed, and my business is is
really not supporting? For real?For real, for real? Do I
go pop the question? So soI would say don't. But that's just

(19:23):
me. Okay, Well, becauseif you're if I pop the question and
we're planning a wedding, right,where do we get the funds from?
Is she paying for this wedding?And then if she is, is that
the best decision? But quest backin the day, the pops would the
pops of the bride would would payfor most of the stuff, and then

(19:44):
there were a couple of little thingsthat the that the that the dude would
have to come up with, likeflowers and some other stuff. Absolutely,
but I don't know if we're livingin that same day in time. On
other side go nope, and thatside go yeah, Okay, you know
what I'm saying, We're not livingin that place in space, and I'm
anymore And a lot of couples arepaying for their own weddings. Right.
A lot of the times the parentsdon't have that kind of money to pay

(20:07):
for their children's wedding anyway, Sowho's gonna pay for it? Person?
So you've got two hundred people coming, huh? So you got two hundred
people coming, or else it's chipsand dips and it. Come on,
that's not good luck your first marriage. By the way, these the scenario
that I'm painting, we're gonna callit the first marriage. It's not a

(20:30):
it's not a marriage after someone,god forbid, would have lost a spouse
to death. It's not after someonewould have been divorced and recovered from the
divorce and now they're ready to bemarried again. This is a scenario where
you have two well meaning adult individualswho are ready to jump the broom in

(20:52):
their mind and emotions. But there'sjust this thing that says, get ainful
employment is not on the guy's side. And the woman is making you know,
whether even if she were a millionaire. But let's let's just say she
is a middle class earner somewhere.Let's call it Maryland. That's where I

(21:17):
got married, right, So she'sa middle wage middle class wage earner.
She's not working for the US government, so she's not getting that GS fifteen
bag call her, call her amiddleway, a middle maybe she's maybe she's
making thirty five forty K that's ourscenario? Does he and we got bills

(21:45):
to pay, and we got allof these different things to take care of,
and she got a now plan forwhen he's not working. Yes,
in this scenario that we're making Yep, that's he knowing that pop the question.

(22:07):
So y'all weigh in in here,Anthony Tyrrell, like, y'all weigh
in here? Man? So,so here's the funny thing. Here's the
question. What would make him thinkthat it's okay to go ahead and pop
the question? He loves her?Yeah, he loves her? But can
love pay bills? Can love sustainthe house from all the practical things that

(22:32):
we need to do? Now?Love is good for the relationship, but
the relationship must be maintained and sustained, and the relationship of love cannot be
sustained only by love. Sounds likeyou're making it about money again, quest.
Yeah, but here's the funny thing. I used to always think I'm
not really making it about money.I don't think so, because once again,
I don't want the relationship to onlybe about money. But what happens

(22:56):
if we don't have any what dowe do? So we're talking about starting
out without money, well with withoutenough, right yeah, So I think
that's my challenge with it here questsyou know, people like like we've said,
like like shout to Tyrell, likehe he he ran into an interesting
patch in his life. I don'tknow if it was during marriage or not,

(23:18):
but our brother was was was bawling. I'm talking about the brother had
a what do you call it?H when you have a bunch of airplanes?
Like the dude had an airline,bro, the brother had an airline,
but you you and then and thenhe didn't and then he didn't having

(23:40):
it and then not having it versusnot having it all and starting out.
Okay, yeah, that's a difference. That's different, you know, yeah,
because we started with a firm foundationand life as home girls aid this
morning, life be lifing. Lifebe lifing. It does and so you
you it throws you a curveball,right. I love the Capital one commercials

(24:02):
where they say you know what I'msaying, what's it? You know?
When life happens. What's in yourwallet, right, Because life happens,
you need to have all of thesedifferent measures. So it wasn't that he
didn't start off with nothing. Hestarted out with something. Life hit and
then something's happened where he lost somestuff. But when you're starting out that
way with nothing, even when youbuild from like, you need materials to

(24:26):
build with. You can't just sayall right, we're gonna build, We're
gonna buy it this. When peopleare doing renovations, right, they buy
it and then they tack on aparticular reno loan on the back of the
regular loan so that they have capitalin order to purchase materials so that they
can do the renovation and increase thevalue. But you don't purchase the house

(24:48):
without having a fund of some sortto say this is what we're going to
use to buy these materials to getthis done so that we can increase the
value. You can't do it withoutit gonna drop out the sky, you
know, yes, sir, Andsome of us will say, well,
well, you know, we canpray and we can do all of these
things. Yes, that's true,you can pray for things, but you
also got to move in the directionof the things that you prayed for.

(25:11):
You got something that you have todo as well. And if you don't
do it, you can't expect Godto come and drop it in your lap,
okay, because you ain't get noskin in the game. Okay.
And let me just say, inmy scenario, I'm not painting the picture
of an individual who is as wewould say in Jamaica, I hate it,

(25:33):
but that's what we say. It'swhat less. We're not talking about
a lazy person. We're not talkingabout someone who has no interest in because
I actually know some grown men rightnow in their fifties who who are that
way. Like I'm talking about fullyshine all the time. I'm talking about
looking like a million bucks ain't contributednothing. And it's not because of a

(25:57):
disability. It's not because of inability. It is because of a mindset and
the and the wife in the scenariothat I'm making I'm talking about here is
is drained from work. Wow.You know, so that is not what

(26:21):
I'm talking about in our first hypothetical. I'm talking about someone who is open.
I'm talking about someone who has loveand the two people are in love
and willing to work and really wantto be married, but there's just this
one thing. It's just this onething. So I guess we answered that

(26:44):
question. You know, I'm nottrying to recalibrate the answer, but there
has to be honest conversation if thisis you, like if you're listening or
watching like this is you, oryou have a child who is in the
situation, like if I go toSimone's daddy and do it traditionally and say,

(27:07):
may I have your daughter's hand inmarriage? Daddy's supposed to know something
about me by now. And ifDaddy sees not that I just lost my
work, but that I've been havingchallenges with being employed, whatever those challenges

(27:33):
are, then Simone's daddy is supposedto be like m But you're supposed to
be replacing me, Dave, notas a father, but as the one
who's responsible primarily for provision. Notthat I will always make more than Simone,

(28:00):
not that Simone's millions don't factor in, but brass tacks. Y'all can
call it what you want to callit. Ultimate responsibility is David's. And
now Simone has ultimate responsibility for otheraspects of how the household is run.
And y'all Please do not hear nothingabout roles in terms of the little dumb

(28:26):
stuff that people argue about. I'mnot talking about that. There are aspects
to the emotional balance of the household, like the woman is the barometer of
that zone. Josiah was born,Listen. He was home with me because
we made the decision. And Iam a super caregiver. I didn't blink

(28:48):
for two years, like he washome with Dave in our home, like
for two years straight, and Iloved every minute of it. And I
am super nurturing, oper affectionate.But I'm not his mother. I'm not,
just sigh, his mother, becauseher primary responsibility where the child is
concerned is to be the one heshould expect nurturing from. Yes, I

(29:14):
nurture big time, but the expectationis mommy, Like mommy has that flext.
See. So maybe I said toomuch, but all I'm saying is
primary responsibility. Even if she's amillionaire and you're a thousand ere, you're
still primarily responsible. I don't carehow you twist it. Even if she's

(29:37):
like, yo, don't even worryabout it. Okay, fine, love
that, but I am still ultimatelyresponsible. Even if she says, because
I can't stop being who I amcreated to be. So I'll say this
again. D right, I'm gonnasay it one more time. It really
boils down to at the end ofthe day, what do you want in

(30:00):
terms of a result? What doyou want in terms of your marriage?
And sometimes a no right now rightdoes not mean a no. It means
you might have to delay some stuffin order to properly. I never really
understood, right for why what happenswhen I'm sorry for the truck's past.

(30:22):
Okay, we know you're outsides forthose who are just joining us quesses outside.
I never, I shouldn't say,really understood. I used to watch
them do it, and I'm right. I never understood until I asks the
builder. One time. I wouldsee them set the concrete for the homes
that they were about to build.They don't cleared the land, they didn't
did all the soil and all ofthis other stuff right, And they would

(30:45):
lay the concrete. And I wouldwatch them every day work laying outlining and
then lay the concrete. When theylay the concrete right and it's in its
place now, they wouldn't come backfor another three four weeks. I'm sticking
to myself, like why would theywait so long d to come back after

(31:07):
laying the concrete? Three weeks,four weeks passing by, and they would
sit there waiting, And I asked, the building, I'll see it almost
with apartment complexes when they build insubdivisions. He said, the concrete has
to properly drive through and through andit has to set and settle into the
ground before they begin the building.Imagine what would happen? And I ask

(31:30):
them, what would happen if youbuilt the house without waiting for that concrete
to drive properly? He said,have you ever seen sinking floors? Have
you ever seen foundations that don't sitright? And there's cracks in the wall
and bowing in the floors and allthat. He said, that's what happens
when people don't properly build the foundation, you cannot build properly on it.

(31:52):
I'm going to return to what westarted d this conversation with right. We
said it proper planning and practice preventspiss poor performance. If your marriage to
be successful, it okay. Thefirst time that I did marriage, I

(32:16):
was married in two thousand and threeand divorced in two thousand and five because
I didn't do no planning or theplanning that I did it was planning or
how it was going to smash onthat thirty eight twenty four forty. That's
how I ended in divorce because Idid not properly plan, much less to
practice. So what happened piss poorperformance and the red flags that were popping

(32:44):
up. They were popping up,and I would either see them or it
wouldn't even pay attention to them becauseI was too busy indulging myself in the
thing that couldn't support me. Whenthe yep okay. And then I remember
when I was going back to God, like, God, you need to
fix that. God was like,first of all, I didn't ordain for
you to even be with this job. Oh and then in addition to that,

(33:06):
you fail to realize or you failto grip the grisp grasp I'm sorry,
the fact that life is going tolife and you didn't choose the proper
planning in order to deal with thefact that life was going to life.
You chose thirty eight twenty four forty. That's what you chose. So now
that life is hitting ask me andask yourself, what can that do?

(33:28):
For you be a proper plan Yeah. Seven years later after the divorce,
me and Faith were having all kindsof conversations from what we like in terms
of sex to what's the most importantvalues to us that matter in this life?
Do we want to have children?How many do we want to have?
How are we going to raise them? What are we going to teach

(33:50):
them? Is divorce an option?Like? For real? All the conversations
that mean something. What are yourendeavors, what are my endeavors? How
do we plan to achieve? Andhow do we plan to support the family?
Come on, bro once again?Once again, I'll go back to
it again. Right we said whenwe first started out, proper planning and

(34:14):
practice prevents piss poor performance. That'sit, Ebibiba the sawt folks like,
that's a it's a scenario that sometimespeople are like, you're just making up
complicated stuff for nothing. No,it's not nothing, it's something. It's
very much something. There are peopleall over America, but I'll pick Middle

(34:38):
America in particular, where my goodness, man, and it's not just there.
But I'm saying what I've seen andthey think that love is it?
The people that I've seen like Iwent to a chips and dip wedding.
Bro. I'm not saying that y'allneed to do all of that extra stuff,
because I'm really not about that life. But what I'm saying is the

(35:00):
people who did the chips and dipswedding reception, they did it because they
had no other option, not becausethey just decided that it's a waste of
money to burn. Listen, ifif you're if if that's the case,
then you just have to be honestwith yourself, measure the risk versus rewards

(35:22):
and make the right decision. Measureand but you have to be honest.
Don't play with it. Don't playwith it because real talk like Homegirl.
Like in this scenario, what ifHomegirl loses her job on day three and
you went in knowing that you didn'thave no way to do it. Now
the both of you are out andit was Bro, I drive it straight

(35:47):
to getting the tire fixed. That'show I how long I drive it.
I don't mess around with donuts.It's not intended to drive. They got
all kind of all kind of earningson the thing. So again, we
can't forecast every challenge. We cannotgive a solution to everything ahead of the

(36:08):
time, but we can see what'sright in front of us. If you
have no food and no promise fromGod for a miracle in this instance,
do not invite nobody to your housefor dinner because there ain't no dinner over
there. That's all I got onthat. So I got on that quest

(36:30):
and it's no dis I ain't madat nobody. I'm just saying, like,
for people who have the privilege offorce what they call it forethought and
foresight, then just use now topush pause, make a good quality decision,
and be very excited and happy thatyou did, because when it's time

(36:52):
to go, then you don't haveno reservations. You're not looking in your
rear view like, man, whatdid I do? Yeah? So you
know what I say to it?What's that? From shaky to good?
From good to great? Ultimately,what we want is phenomenal relationships and phenomenal

(37:13):
marriages. But phenomenal relationships and marriagesdon't just happen. It takes work.
There you have a child, Ihope you've enjoyed your time with us.
Marriage is about mutual love and mutualrespect, and it works for those willing
to make it work, real talk. Our spouses are treasured jewels given to
us to make life better, andthe sooner we learn to value one another

(37:37):
will be the sooner we become theabsolute best versions of ourselves we can be.
Until next time, peace,