You Wanna Date?

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Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Peace, shawl ash Man Dave withmy brother Quest the man bringing you all
things marriage, paying you huge dividendson your investment in time with us,
We're talking about love, sex,having children, money, spirituality, life,
communication and anything else to help youthrive and win in your relationships.

(00:22):
And guess what this is, grownfolks business. So get ready to make
grown up decisions. You know why, because marriage ain't for suckers. That's
the name of the program. Marriageain't for suckers. All right, let's
get into it and your Quest.It's time to give the people something.
Man, what are we talking abouttoday? What up? What up?

(00:46):
What up? What up? Whatup? What up? What up?
That's a way to get around it. Come on another another marriaging for Suckers
podcast. I'm the host with themost It's your boy, Quest Green alongside

(01:07):
my co host, my man,my mellow, my mellow, my man.
Ladies and gentlemen, l D theAnomaly Harrisso I think that's me.
Listen, I am excited to beup in the house. You that's you.
That's my brother, that's my brother, that's my brother. I got

(01:30):
my school belt. I got myschool belt. Quest. Guess what class
is in its in session. Ah, you see how that happens. Let's
go. I love that love thatlove that we hear. I want to
I want to take a moment though, real, real quick, if real
one, if a real one wasa person, then that would have to

(01:52):
be none other than my leap yearbaby sister from another mister, Sean da
Keisha. Yeah, shout shout toShonda. I think I can do this.
I think I can do this withjust a couple of seconds. Yeah,
I'm not paying. That's it,that's it. Happy birthday. Yeah,

(02:13):
whenever birthday celebrations come around, thisis what I feel. You know
what I'm saying. I just feelthis. I'm not paying pain. I'm
not paying. I'm not paying.I'm not paying. I'm not paying.
Shut out to Shonda. Man,she's a leak your baby. Yeah,
we're celebrating her birthday today. Man, what she says she is fourteen today.

(02:38):
I'm not sure. I can't getinto that. That's not my business
because that's not my business. Happybirthday. Yeah, man, that's a
real one right there. Man.Yeah, that's baby sister from another mister
for real, for real. Soshouts out man, yeah man, so
yeah, d Man shouts out toSimon Fraser. Pleasant, good afternoon to

(02:59):
you all, please, and goodafternoon to you as well. You know
what I'm saying. Blessing, blessing. I get your dollar. If you
can guess where she is, she'sprobably in Jamaica, Okay, Jamaica.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want an American dollar. So
sorry you did not get that wasnot clear in the contract. That wasn't

(03:22):
clear. Yeah, Man shouts outto everybody who's listening to the h to
this episode. Man, we're doingthings a little bit different today. I
can't wait to let that ting loose, you know what. Okay, okay,
but but yeah, but yeah,the life is good on on on
this side. We are slowly butsurely moving towards the spring, until the

(03:44):
temperatures have been in the low sixties, which I'm loving. Okay. I'll
even be happier when they get intothe low seventies and stay there and eventually
up into the eighties and nineties.Praise God. We're in the spring too.
We're in the spring. You're allalways in the spring. Oh well,
praise details flow. Yeah, Manshouts out to Carmen Thomas. Man

(04:06):
had a lovely conversation with her thisweek, man, and yeah, that's
yeah. She she showed amazing love. You know what I'm saying, You
and Dave are like brothers. Man, Let's get to work. I still
talk. Let's get it, getit hot. Things on the island well,
besides I don't know, besides thefact that it's always springtime. I

(04:31):
will say that the country is developingthough. Straight up, I love it.
This island nation is developing. Becausewe are in the throes of elections.
I have not heard gunshots. Wow. I'm not saying nothing have happened.
But what I'm saying is the waythat it used to be versus today.

(04:54):
Yeah, listen, listen, it'sa blessing. So we'll see very
soon who the the prime minister willbe and who the prevailing party is.
I'm not really into the politics part, but I'm just saying, you say,
how it is in Jamaica. It'speaceful. It's peaceful. I will
I will say this. I sawan interesting video the other day about the

(05:14):
billion dollar projects that are coming toJamaica in terms of Center's roads. You
know a number of different things.I don't know how solid that is,
brother, You know how solid itis. You mean, I can tell
you how solid it is. Looklook up a London Times article. Look
at the listen, look at lookat what they're saying about how Jamaica is.
And it's no this like I'm Ihave two passports, brother. Yeah,

(05:39):
it's no dis Yeah. But thebut the writer of this London Times
article actually said, yo, theUS needs to take a page out of
the book of Jamaica and how todeal with an economy. And that made
my heart feel good. Considering theJamaican dollar is still falling, it's going

(06:00):
to change them. It's one hundredand fifty Well, I don't know if
it is or it isn't. Butdespite the fact, despite the fact that
I personally remember when it was fiftyto one, mm hmmm, I remember
that it's one hundred and fifty somethingto one, and that's not that doesn't
sound good. But despite that,Jamaica is becoming a standard regardless of all

(06:20):
of the other problems that we havehere. It cannot be understated, it
must not be understated. The factthat we did we're doing very well considering
all that we have against us.That's all. That's all you mean.
So so here the thing I thinklike we're we're considered to be a people

(06:44):
of resilience. That's who you are, really and truly. All the islands
throughout the West Indies are like that, right, we are a people of
resilience. So I am not surprisedand will not be surprised when all of
these projects are completed. Matter offact, I was dear Christmas, remember,
and I was riding through a coupleof we were together, yes,
sir, I was riding between acouple of places between Mobai and actually I

(07:08):
got a chance to go all theway down as far as the craft market
and the shopping centers down there byMoon Palace and such, and so I
was like, man, this placereally looks different, like they're building up
places and restaurants. Just imagine ifyou ever got to town to Kingston.
For those who don't understand the number, I don't personally like crowded, but

(07:29):
I recognize what development means. That'sall I like. I don't want to
be in the crowded place. Buteverywhere you look is a crane and a
new building. It's amazing. Yeah, And it's a time. It's a
it's a time. It's a it'sa good time where that's concerned, and
hopefully, hopefully fairness and equity willbe at the top of the mind of

(07:49):
whoever the prevailing party happens to be, because the disparity between the have and
have nots is just crazy, absolutelyso, so hope, hopefully the gap
will be closing and closing and closing, and you know, on the ground,
like real life people will benefit,hopefully not just the people with paper
because that's a different problem. ButI don't want to get all into that,

(08:13):
you know what I mean, nodoubt, no doubt. So,
yeah, we're doing things a littlebit different today, is that so?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, becausewe have had people sending in questions and
we decided, you know, let'sbuild an entire system around that idea,
oh man, around people. Andso we got a number of women and

(08:37):
if you want to be a partof sending in that information, we'll make
sure that we put the link inthe chat for you guys to see and
matter of fact, we'll send itout if you want to see it right
now, you can stop by myig page and go to my link tree
link and it's sitting right there.You can go to marriag janefoursuckers dot com
as u c ka z dot com. That link is also there, and

(09:01):
what we're asking for you to do, like, for real, I don't
care who you are, right ifyou are in relationship and you want to
ask some questions, you're not inrelationship and you want to ask some questions,
do me a favor. Hit thatlink and send us in a video
of you asking that question and meand Dave gonna get to the answers.
You got questions, we got answers. I'm not I'm not. I heard

(09:26):
this somewhere. I heard it somewheretoo before. But I'm just saying that
it's truth, the truth, thetruth. Questions. Me and my man,
Me and my man's God answer that. So why don't we just go
ahead and drop one in right now? Yeah, no doubt, let's get
it all right, Yeah, let'sgo Collins. I guess I really don't

(09:52):
have a question on dating. Haven'tbeen on a date in a long time,
so I guess I would have toget a date. So it's like,
where do you get a date from? Or what do you look for
a date or date she look foryou? And where do you be when
you always on zoom calls and you'rein the house or your mastermind. So

(10:13):
it's like you don't have anyone tomeet because you're always working and pretty much
that's it. But I'm available,I am single, willing to date,
don't have no one to date,and don't know where to get a date
from. So I guess that wouldbe my question. Well, she just

(10:37):
told thousands of people on this herepodcast, and Lashandas are peoples, man,
So let me just say, shoutto Lashonda Collins. She is a
part of a Mastermind where I'm acoach and Quest is also a client.
If you want to say, he'sin school, if you want to say,
and it's a blessing, you know, shout to doctor Eric Thomas e

(10:58):
T the hip hop preacher. Soindeed, this is where we are.
And look in Simone Frasier that alreadyresonates with her. So what we're gonna
do is just answer the question oneor two ways, and then of course
Quest wants to go deeper than justan answer. But we can't resolve all
of the world's woes in this onepodcast episode. But let me just say

(11:20):
so, Lashanda is grown, she'snot baby, So let's just start with
the fact that Lashanda's grown, Yes, and she is successful, and she
says that she's very busy. Sohow do you get a date when you're
always busy? And part of beingbusy is always being online. So the
low hanging fruit can be unbusy yourselfin some key areas so that you can

(11:45):
be free. But then what rightlisten if you're already online. And I
can't believe I'm saying this because I'vebeen married twenty two years. I've been
married twenty two years, quest,and so I don't know what the dating
scene is like personally, I'm sayingI know what people say about it,
and I don't know that I woulddo this because maybe I'm old. It
could because I'm old, Like wedidn't have the internet when we were in

(12:07):
university. Quest, I said,university, so we were not babies.
I'm talking about university. But Ihave seen people, and Shonda told us
that she has seen people that haveused online dating sites. I actually know
a woman who's much older than Iam, who is a believer and she's

(12:30):
happily married and she met her nowhusband online, And I'm like, WHOA.
And I was living in rural Americawhen this happened. Her name is
Pam, a rural Caucasian woman meta man online. They had virtual dates.
It was the weirdest thing to mewhen this grown woman said that she

(12:54):
met and it's love and they areboth believers and it's still married. Like
WHOA. So I'm not going toact like online dating is not a thing,
because it's a thing. To knowwhat I would do, but it's
a new thing. But I don'tknow how. Yeah, I don't know.
But listen, people are finding successin that. I don't know what

(13:15):
else I would call it, Butyou could consider some of those those sites
as long as you're doing with youreyes wide open, use the technology,
especially the sites that are catering toto I would say Christians or conscious minded
people, because that's sort of thelow low hanging fruit, like the lowest
common denominator. We're looking for peoplewho are serious about life and serious about

(13:39):
connection with God and then everything elsethat you know you would see on some
of those sites which you got class. So it's a little different for me,
right, Like, I don't knowif I would necessarily because of how
I'm wired. I need to seeyou, I need to hold your hand.
I need to have face to faceconnection and conversation and this won't do.

(14:00):
That's why it's been such a blessingfor me and you over this last
because I'd be like, legit,you know what I'm saying. And we've
been blessed to see each other atleast once a month for the last what
seven eight months maybe? Right,So that's been a blessing. So that's
me, right, I'm a I'ma I'm a firm believer in the fact
that, Okay, if I wantto go fishing, I can't do it

(14:22):
from my from my living room couch. I can't. I okay, go,
Yeah, you know what I'm saying. I gotta go for where the
fish are and cast my bait.But quest you're you're I don't want to
be misogynistic, so I don't wantto hit people that mishear me. Yeah,
but you are speaking with a reallydeep voice. Yeah. And so

(14:43):
we're talking about Lashanda and people likeLashanda maybe maybe maybe Simone Fraser mm hmm.
You feel what I'm saying. SoI'm not saying that it's a one
way street or there's a right wayto do it. And then the men
are hunters and the women or not. But what I'm saying is there's a
perspective apart from our personal preferences.Again I'm not that I'm not that person,

(15:07):
but I don't want to discount itbecause I'm not that person. It
could be my age. I don'tknow. But like I say, i've
seen success in digital data. Ohyeah, it's there, and that's to
get started. That's not I mean, you're not going to be online forever.
Like you have to actually meet eachother if it turns into something positive.

(15:28):
But what I would say in thatcase, in any other answer that
we attempt to give here, thatyour core values have to be always intact.
There's some things you will and willnot do full stop, whether it's
digitally, whether if it's in reallife, whether if it's on the telephone.
Like, they're just certain things thatare non negotiable. So just kind
of getting started and just just saidthat it actually the paid sites, I

(15:50):
wouldn't know. I'm not an experton this kind of stuff. Weed out
some of the creepers, Oh wow, because you have to pay See I
didn't even know that that. Ididn't even know that. Wow. So
that's one thing and you might belike, ah, I don't know,
I'm not into that. But here'sanother thing, like, let friends and
family know even if you have justone like she's a friend, I will

(16:11):
consider Lashonda a friend. So forher to be vulnerable enough to say this,
now I'm thinking, oh, Iknow somebody whose name is Lashonda.
I know reasonably where she lives,I know reasonably what she's into in some
cases. And so now like thediscussion is a wide open discussion, and

(16:36):
it's like, yo, maybe wewill have the privilege of encountering somebody that
Shonda could even consent, Lashonda couldconsider, So friends and family coming into
the discussion. There are people whomake mistakes when everybody in your crew,

(16:56):
even if you only have three peoplein your crew, are like nah,
that's a bad idea, and theysay, oh, I'm still gonna do
it. It's just like but pause, Like people who love you and know
you the most may have something tosay. M h uh huh. But
the one that like for me isis like top of the pile is to

(17:17):
begin, Like, I know thatyou're busy, uh, Lashanda, but
there are things that matter to you. M M. I know that your
community matters to you. Yep.So the more that you involve yourself in
physical, in person activities that contributeto your community. And I know that
you've just involved yourself in a newcommunity because you just moved. I won't

(17:41):
get into where you are because that'syour business. But as you involve yourself
in community activities, there are otherpeople who are also involved in community activities.
Indeed, that's what I was sayingwhen I said, like, if
I want to go fishing, I'mgoing to go to a pond a lake
where I know fish are because that'smy thing. I enjoy fishing, right,

(18:06):
that's a real thing for me.I'm not even making jokes like I
enjoy going out. We have LakeNorman here and Lake Wilie and a couple
of other water holes that you cango to and enjoy fishing. And I'm
not really a take home because theonly kind of fish I take home with
the ones from the ocean, right, But I'm on a more catch and
release. But I say that tosay I go to the places where I
can actually fish. You just sata while ago. Community is a big

(18:29):
thing for her, and it isright. She likes to be in the
company of people in her community,And there's something that happens when a community
events happen, you might bump.In essence, you're putting yourself in a
place to be seen by other peoplein the things that you hold dear to
you, right, And I'm sayingthat if I want to go fish,
I can't fish from my couch.It's something that I love to do,

(18:53):
but I can't do it from mycouch. But there's something that happens when
I go out to I catch allkinds a fish, especially when I'm in
Florida, peacock bass play go like, there are a plethora of opportunities,
is what I'm saying. When youinvolve yourself in going to all of those
different places within your core values,right while you're doing the things that you

(19:18):
love community, when you go toyour you know, there's a couple other
things that we know of and Iwon't speak here because like Tad Brown,
that's your business, right, yourbusiness, and you go that's your business.
When you go to all these differentplaces in connection with all the things
that you love, what you're doingis you're expanding or broadening your reach right
to be able to possibly find somebodyto date. So yeah, yeah,

(19:42):
so service minded, service orientation inyour community, your actual geographical community,
or if you're attached to a spiritualcommunity. Right, but I'm going to
give you another one man for grownfolks. Yeah, I got one for
you. Come on travel. Ohso now now you have to prioritize your

(20:06):
time international. Yes, that's Ishould have said that. That's what I
should have said. I love it. If I were Lashanda and I'm thinking
about something that what Amaya? AndI won't say who the other person was
who was on the screen because Idon't know enough about this guy. I
liked what he was saying, butI don't know enough about him, so

(20:26):
I don't want to say his name. But the young guy from Ghana,
what Amaya? He's a YouTuber.Yes, he was talking to a dude
that was like, ladies, cometo Africa, come to the continent of
Africa. Pick a country. Thereare you. I keep hearing this is
what the guy said. He's andhe wasn't looking for a woman, but
he was saying, I keep hearingwomen. And I will say like Lashanda,

(20:52):
like Simone Fraser saying that there arenot a lot of men. Maybe
Lashanda didn't say that, he didn'tsay those words. But she said where,
But he said, I keep hearingpeople say this, come come to
one of the countries in Africa.There are a good number of men.
This is what the man is saying. And he's well traveled. He's domiciled

(21:17):
in the UK, but he's anAfrican from a certain country. I don't
want to give away who to dodeis because, like I say, I
don't know who this guy really reallyis a business. But what his word
was is true. Like there arepeople all over the world, but you
could start with the continent of Africa. Just take a trip. Take a
trip one day. I'm going tohave a Ghanaian passport. I'm just saying.

(21:37):
I'm talking about me. But Iwould not mind visiting some other countries
like Wanda. You know that's onmy bucket lists. I may go to
Tanzania. So you might go toTanzania, like Gambia if you're a very
orderly person. We're not talking directlyto anybody in particular now, but you
go to Gambia or it's Gambia orNamibia, one of those is so order

(22:00):
the weather. Whatever the one wasthat was settled by the German and they
got independence recently me, like inthe early in the nineteens, Like,
there are people in different places aroundthe world who share your core values.
I'm trying to tell you, sojust visit, like hang out, like
find one or two friends. Nowyou're in a community, simone, it's

(22:22):
not simone, Lashonda, that maybeyou might find one or two people that
would be willing to travel and y'allgo just chill, like, go live
God, hang out and talk toGod and say, Lord, is there
anybody that shares my core values thatyou would see fit for me to David?
Yes, sir, I'm trying toget all the young ladies in my
life to understand, especially the onesbetween the ages of eighteen and twenty five,

(22:49):
develop who you are as an individual. What's your what's your what's your
uh? Your homegirl? Or yourcousin who'll be traveling all over Eva?
I have a cousin named Eva.Every time I turn around, the child
is in some place different, unbelievableher travels. How old is she now,

(23:11):
David, I can't speak on that. Okay, she's grown. She's
grown. She has a couple ofdoctoral doctorates and a master's in some more
grown. She's not fifty. No, she's she could be good. It
could be my daughter, but she'sgrown grown. Okay, good, that's
but but but I'm saying that ifshe can be your daughter, that means
she is significantly younger than you are. Yes, sir, here's the funny

(23:34):
thing. She went and handled herbusiness early, which put her in a
position to be able to make theworld her playground. No, really,
like, like you can go onher social media and keep scrolling like this
for five minutes straight and just travelphotos from all over the world, because

(23:56):
that's what she's got to Can Ido this now? Can I just believe
for Lashonda's yes, sir? Okay, good. So I'm just gonna put
Shonda aside, for Lashonda aside fora moment, right, because she said
a lot of the time she saidin her question as well, I'm going
to take something from her question,but I'm gonna put her aside, right
She said, how do you dothat when you're spending all your time in

(24:17):
front of zoom meetings and doing allof this stuff, and right now,
when you're younger in life, that'sexactly where you should be developing yourself in
your zoom meetings, handling your business, taking what you're doing and going to
the next level right when you areokay. For my high schoolers, your
future is predicated on what you doright now. So please hear me.

(24:41):
And I'm saying this in love becausehigh school girls are they got that puppy
love, and that thing is notSometimes that puppy love be feeling like a
full grown dog. You know whatI'm saying, Like for real, they're
so intense and so sucked into theserelationships and making that their world, and
when they break up, you fallinto pieces. But if you knew what

(25:03):
I knew in terms of your future, you'd let it go and keep moving
right. Your future is predicated onwhat you do. Me and my daughter
just had a conversation the other day. She said, Daddy, if I
had the chance, I think Iwould have went back to high school and
did things a little bit differently.I said, you would have focused a
little bit more so. He istwenty one, so she's grown. She's

(25:25):
grown, but she still has somuch life in front of her. But
in our conversation, I was like, so, you still can do things
right, but the idea is foryou to do what you need to do
prior to eighteen, so that wheneighteen comes and you goes off to college
and you're handling your business. Bythe time you get out of college,

(25:45):
you want to be able to travelthe world so that you can choose and
refuse. You know what I'm saying, d Like, I believe that there's
a time for Okay, So success, they say, is where preparation meets
opportunity, yes or no. Yes, And so I'm telling y'all that there's

(26:07):
a sure fire formula for finding thisbecause once again we said that with Lashonda.
If I could just jump back onLashonda real quick, we said with
Lashanda, with being able to staywithin your core values and doing all the
things that you love, yet stillyou're in the presence of people, You're
in the presence of community. That'sone way to do it right. But

(26:27):
the other way is to handle yourbusiness so that when it comes time for
you to finish school, you cango and travel to all of these different
places see what the world has tooffer. And in that process, while
once again I'm just saying this underthe premise that you're doing this with God,
because I don't know how people dorelationship without God. That ah that

(26:48):
when you've prepared, God is goingto present you with the opportunity and when
it happens success m hmm. Yeah. So there's no like one size fits
all. No. But the blessingthat we have with Lashanda's question is she
gave some of what could be ahindrance. Now there may be people in

(27:11):
these online communities that she's attached towhen she's in these meetings. I'm saying
meetings, not a dating site,but in these meetings where people know,
okay, we are all we areboth single, and then maybe you know,
somebody will find you know. Likefor me, brother, I knew

(27:33):
that I wanted to be married finally, by the way, I mean,
I didn't know that early, butfinally I got to a point twenty five
years ago I was like, Yo, I want to get married. Do
you think that I was gonna allowanything to keep me from that? Nah?
Bro, No. And I wasa praying person because I read and
Lashanda, you could try this.I read that if you're preparing for marriage,

(27:57):
you should pray double. Now shedidn't say marriage, but I'm just
saying what my experience was. Shesaid date, So I don't want to,
you know, take it farther thanshe said, further than that shit.
But what I'm saying is like,if I'm in preparation for potential relationship,
then I double my prayer life andI say, Lord, now you

(28:18):
know that I want this and Iwant you to guide me. Could you
please set that up for me?I wish Simone were here, but she's
on the road, man, sheis on a Thursday. She's getting produced
right now. But Simon, mywife, my wife, Simone Harris not
frasier. She could she could saywhat her journey was like, what her

(28:41):
pathway was, while she wanted alsoto be in a serious relationship, a
successful one, because she had somethat were not successful. But part of
it was like she actually presented alist to God. Now, I know
that's not my style, but again, neither is online dating. But that's
what that's what her style was.So she and her friend Demetrius that we

(29:06):
both went to school with, butthat was her, that was her homegirl.
They prayed over the list, bro, they prayed over the list,
what is it that I'm into?And of course Simone was younger than Lashanda
is now back then, but shestill presented God the list our homegirl Krmen

(29:27):
that you referenced earlier. She wasn'ta baby when she got married. Bro,
she was grown, grown. Carmenand Jason, they were grown,
grown when they got together. Butit had to have started with some dating,
some real discussion about like what islife to you? What matters to
you? You see? So,yeah, there's another part to it,

(29:51):
David, is is I really don'tknow what life matters to me until I've
spent some time with me and enjoyedmy own company. Mm hmm. Yeah.
If there's anybody to be known,I think outside of knowing God first,
Yeah, the next thing is toknow you? Who are you?
Yeah? And I'm not talking aboutwhat you do in terms of a job,

(30:14):
because it's a bunch of people whoI talk to. Every time they
open their mouth, the first thingthat come out is what they do,
and every reference is towards what theydo. I could care less about what
you do. I want to knowwho you are as an individual. It
isn't that funny. This guy namedDerek that's in our extreme execution coaching community,
Derek Seymour. He says he's aneducator, and he said that there

(30:36):
are times that he says, Iforgot how he said it exactly. He
would say, tell me about yourself, but it wasn't tell me about yourself.
He would say it better than that, but like, tell me about
yourself, Like who are you?That's what he would say, that's the
actual question, who are you?And then invariably the youths would say what

(30:56):
they did, They would talk aboutthings they do, and then of course
he would make that a teachable momentand say, no, that's what you
do. What I asked was whoare you? Who are you? In
Jamaica, we would say, youhave to know what you're about. You
have to know what you're about,and that is the essence of who I

(31:17):
am. What are my core values, what matters most to me? And
the more I understand and know that, then when I'm in other people's presence,
they will pick up on that becausethose people have core values, they
know what they're about. Theoretically,and there's no dude on planet Earth,

(31:40):
in any culture on planet Earth thathas an interest in a relationship with a
woman that wouldn't see a woman andthen try to begin a relationship. So
it's just physically being literally in thepresence of doing because we're just built that
way. Even the shy dudes arejust built that way. Shy men somehow

(32:08):
find themselves in relationship bruh. AndI'm telling you, ain't Ain't that a
dynamic? Yeah? And and thinkabout it like Ques as much as I'm
I come across as open and forwardnow because I'm learning how to behave this
way. But when but brother,I've always I've never been the guy to

(32:30):
pursue. It's not my style.It's never been my style. So what
did God do for me? Hemade me. He made me a person
who somehow it would come to me. And once that that uneasiness of what
if I get rejected is gone becauseit's coming my way, then I go.

(32:50):
So I would just get over thatfirst hump because I wasn't really you
know, I wasn't really into justlike like the boys and Philly would say
cracking on her or going forward,you know, but I would be.
I would be I would be available, I would be approachable, And as
soon as I see the glimmer,I'm like, ah, I got it.
It's it's on me now. Igot this. It is funny because

(33:12):
I'm at the opposite side with that, Like I was never I was never
scared. And if I got youto smile, it's over. It was
a rap. And here's what's funny, the funny thing I'm watching Nico.
Now, oh boy, you betterwatch that Mason. Nico. Well,
here's the funny thing. Mason onlyfollows Nico. But if you leave him

(33:36):
by himself, he'll he'll kind ofmaybe when he gets older, we'll see
it flourish a little bit more.But Nico, you don't have no fear
for nothing. What did he dowhen he was here in Jamaica? He
went, he went, oh,you send him somebody? Was it you
or a wifey or faith that senthim to the to the room? Bro,

(33:57):
we're in we're about to eat.Remember we're about to eat. And
you, I think sent him tothe room to get a towel, right,
you sent him to the room toget a towel and wooms, he
don't have no key card mm hmm. And son comes back with whatever it
is that he's supposed to tower andyou're like, you know what, how
did you get in there? Yeah, he got one of the hotel staff

(34:19):
to take him and let him inthe room. This dude's there, he's
a minor that acts a hotel staffto let him in a room, and
the person did it. Bruh,eleven years old. I'm like, what
in the world. They were like, I'm just gonna trust that this is
your room. He's I can tellyou from he told the lady, I
can tell you when you open thedoor, what's behind this door. And
as soon as she opened the doorand she saw exactly what he was talking

(34:43):
about, she was like, allright, go ahead. So there are
grown Nico like men, yeah,who all they have to do is see
Lashanda. That's it, and experiencedthe atmosphere that surround Lashanda and Nellie like,
you know what, I'm gonna shootmy shot. I think I need

(35:05):
to. I need to know alittle bit more about this woman. Put
yourself in the So so here's thefunny thing I would always I would always
tell women constantly be in a placeof development, right and let God provide
the opportunity. Mm hmmm, becauseit's coming. Yeah, I'm telling you,
we're about to do some events.I told i Sis yesterday all we're

(35:30):
gonna do some events together. She'slike, I'm ready. I've been waiting.
No. But but Carmen is aQueen of events, and she and
Simon work well together, by theway, and even even better. Right,
here's the part that I love abouther outside of events. She speaks
from a place of somebody who's earlyin her career was about her business and

(35:53):
was handling it it. Oh,she was going from Miami to Fort Lauderdale
to here to there, like movingand living in some I remember the spot
that she had in Miami, andshe had it before you know, Jason
came. That spot was in ahigh rise right on Biscayne. I remember
going to visit her one year andI was like, Carmen, this view

(36:14):
is yeah. I mean you couldsee that in all the buildings, the
water, you could see it allfrom her high rise, right. And
the one thing that she wasn't inwas in a relationship, and she was
trying to And I'm telling you shehas so much information that she's Yo.
When if you see me, Daveput an event together and Carmen host is

(36:36):
I mean, hope Thomas is onthe bill, Do me a favor.
Get your tickets as soon as youcan, because that sucker's going to sell
out quick. Crazy yep. SoI mean there are many answers, There
are many ways of looking at it, But yes, her being like you
kind of gave it away initially,and some people are in the same position

(36:58):
where I'm busy. So the firstthing is to be less busy and physically
be places I've seen where Lashanda hasboarded the play and come to Atlanta.
Yes, sir, even though itwas still related to some of the things
she does online where her self development, personal development and business development is concerned,

(37:21):
but she is physically places. There'sa lot of people in Atlanta,
a lot of people looking for relationships. There a lot of men looking for
relationships. So pray up be places. Where was the place I wish?
Boy, I'm going to meet withsomebody in about a half and it might
happen at the Kroger. It mighthappen at the tar J. It might

(37:46):
happen at the JJ's Fish, itmight happen at Sunny Delight. I don't
know where it's going to happen.And it may happen while you're in the
middle of the things that you lovethe most. Because there's a lot of
really good stuff going on in Atlantain terms of extracurricular activity, service opportunities

(38:07):
and stuff like that. So getyourself neck deep into serving some real,
live people, and at some point, if you're prayerful, at some point,
something's gonna connect and you're gonna belike it's either somebody who's connected to
somebody or to somebody themselves. It'sgonna be like, Wow, Lashonda bout
it about it and she is.So shout to Lashonda Collins Man, and

(38:29):
thank you for being vulnerable. Andfor those who came on late. Maybe
I could just play this video onemore time, quest because it could be
as a result of this this programfor all I know. I don't know.
I'm not a matchmaker, make mea match but listen in her own
voice, in their own sound listen, should I put it back on the
screen again, No doubt, let'sgo. My name is Lida Collins.

(38:55):
I guess I really don't have aquestion on daity. Haven't been on a
date in a long time, soI guess I would have to get a
date. So it's like, wheredo you get a date from? Or
what do you look for a date? Or a date she look for you?
And where do you be when youalways on zoom calls and you're in

(39:15):
the house or your mastermind? Soit's like you don't have anyone to meet
because you're always working and pretty muchthat's it. But I'm available. I
am single, willing to date,don't have no one a date and don't
know where to get a date from. So I guess that would be my

(39:37):
question. Yep, I feel likethat might be step one. I didn't
say it. I didn't say she'sI would never say she's available, like
I'm not that style like Paul woulddo that, our boy Paul would say
that, would do it there allthe way. But she said it.
So I'm not going to say nothingmore on that, and we'll see what
God wants. Man. So here'sthe funny thing. D do me a
favor if you got questions, stopby marriaging for dot com. That's s

(40:00):
u c k a Z right marriagefor s u c k a z dot
com. And you if you goto me or Dave's any of our social
media pages, you'll find uh thearea in which you can click the link
ask a question on video, andI'm telling you we will sit here and
answer them and like for real,really just wax on that question, yes,

(40:23):
sir, here, we'd love tosee y'all do that for us in
the near future. Yep. AndI just want to be clear, no,
just to the men. Sorry,shod I know you working with the
men I'm asking for were asking forwomen to have to send in your questions,
and that's what it is. I'mnot gonna front like it's not something
else, because it is what itis. So yeah, if y'all want,
if you want men to click up, then I want you to reach

(40:44):
out to Shad. He's on herenow, Shadrack Belanie, he's on there.
Uh yeah, he's he's the connectfor the men. Uh. But
we're working on We're working on theserelationships with our sisters or our baby sisters,
are our cousins, our nieces,our aunties, you know what I
mean. So that's what it is. So yeah, yeah, quests,

(41:05):
let's close them out, man,from shakey to good, from good to
great. Ultimately what we want phenomenalrelationships and marriages. But they don't just
happen. It takes work. Solet's do that work and now'll see y'all
at there you have it, y'all, I hope you've enjoyed your time with
us. Marriage is about mutual loveand mutual respect, and it works for

(41:28):
those willing to make it work realtime. Our espouses are treasured jewels given
to us to make life better,and the sooner we learn to value one
another will be the sooner we becomethe absolute best versions of ourselves we can
be. Until next time, Peace,