The Return of M_A_Y_A _Episode 64_ The Language of Success

The Language of Success (Episode 64) 

Understanding the elements that build success is very intricate and intimate. It is an experience that is daily and not occasional. Join the return of M.A.YA. podcast to discuss the the importance of understanding the language of success putting a spotlight on speaking what you want into existence by taking action.

Listen to Episodes of M.A.Y.A: My Ambition Your Ambition at www.Maya-Speaks.com

Episodes Also Available on iTune, Apple Podcast,  iHeartradio , Amazon Audible and Spotify  Podcast Platforms!!!.. Search M.A.Y.A: My Ambition Your Ambition

Subscribe and Share the Youtube Channel... MayaSpeaks2U 

For all things M.A.Y.A. visit www. Maya-Speaks.com

Get Social with M.A.Y.A.
IG & X: Maya_Speaks
Facebook: MayaSpeaks2U

SUPPORT the M.A.Y.A. Movement!! Become subscriber to the podcast!! You can support, the podcast and help spark its growth with a monthly subscription! Your monthly support will provide access to exclusive content provided by the Maya specifically for you! Start your commitment to your mental wellness journey today!! Click below to find out more!!

https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/m-a-y-a-my-ambition-your-ambition–4348579/support





Get Social with M.A.Y.A.
Youtube, Facebook, IG & X @MayaSpeaks2U 

Subscribe and Share
www.Maya-Speaks.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Get inspired, getting motivated with Maya A Kai and the
Maya My Ambition, Your Ambition podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Something that I take pride and is trying to be
forward thinking, thinking outside the box, challenging myself and as
I challenge myself, hopefully I challenge you.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Find Maya on Twitter and Instagram at Maya Underscore a
Kai on Facebook at Maya Akai Presents.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
We're going to talk health, wealth, fitness, mental health, financial,
lots of different things that can empower you as you
seek out the ambition that you're pursuing or get everything.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Maya at Maya at Gui dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Now I'm mis say everyone, welcome Maya Your Ambition. This
has been a long time coming for me. I've been
anticipating this moment because it's been so long that I
wanted to get back to podcasting. So I never do
insistency because if you do know, I am working on

(01:42):
my doctorate, my PhD, and the last year and a
half two years have been just immersed into it, and
I had to make a choice of things I had
to give up to make it work. And obviously things
have settled in and I can get back to things
I love. So it has been highly anticipated meat go.
Maybe not for you, but I've missed you all the
same because there's so much in my absence that I've
been working on that I want to bring back to

(02:03):
the stage and to share with you. This episode today definitely,
without question has a lot to offer because what I
do is take the thing that you know. I am
a licensed clinical professional counselor as well as a CERTI
Alcohol in Right counselor, and working in therapy with people,
I really learn so much about the dynamics what makes

(02:27):
people tick that I can also look at myself and
I said, some things that we may assume are so
common sense are not. And I know a lot of
people are very apprehensive to go the therapy because they
always assume something to go do and gets something wrong.
I would encourage you to retool your thinking. It's the
thing you should do before there is something wrong. So
maybe those little small things in your life you can't
figure out, you can go and talk to somebody and

(02:49):
you're safe space and you don't have to worry about
being judged, not being accepted of what you're saying isn't inappropriate.
Guess what we often want to do that with family
and friends and it tends to back. Why not go
get that person who can be your person to help
you figure things out. And it doesn't have to be
a catastrophe. It could be something very simple that you've
been hadled with. By the way, when you talk about

(03:10):
managing your mental wellness, there are different people who can
help you with that. Maybe you don't need a therapist,
Maybe you could use a life coach for that moment
in your life you're strying to figure something out where
someone can come in and help you to learn how
to be objective because maybe you've been too subjective in
your life and could not figure things out.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
Well.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
If you join me when I'm here, I'm not going
to commit to every week. I'm going to commit right
now in June to every other week, and by the
time I get to July, I think I'll have my
wheel spinning and kids every week. But the key thing
is My theory about how you manage your life is this.
I call it the three dimensions that you have to
understand about your mental health. You have mental wellness, and

(03:48):
I always say to people, this is where you sit
in your life where you legitimately have balance. It doesn't
mean perfection means balance. Things at home is good, maybe
things at work might be difficult, but you figured to
that balance and you've definitely how you know how the
importance of self care and you've worked that in the mix.
Mental wellness is not about perfection. It's about striking balance,

(04:10):
which is about being mindful. It's about honestly being accountable
and accepting of yourself and having compassion. And when you
can do those things, you can strike a balance. Even
when the storm rolls in and wants to take over,
you can step back and you can have better perspective
of things because you've taken the time to honestly get
to know where you sit emotionally and mentally with things.

(04:31):
So it's about balance with mental wellness. I always tell
people when they fail to acknowledge the fact that their
mental health is paramount, And can I just say this.
The fact that people have an issue with therapy or
even maintaining their mental health kind of blows my mind
because this is the engine that runs everything in your life.
The decision that you make, every behavior, feeling, it all

(04:53):
generates from up here, and when this is not in sync,
the rest of your life tends to fall apart. Hence,
I say you lose that balance and you go for
mental wellness and you fall into what by mental health issues.
You're struggling. The balance is out of sync, and sometimes
getting it back isn't easy, and you've got to do
some work. But you've acknowledged that something isn't right and

(05:13):
you're working on it, and you can eventually get that
balance back. When people totally decide to avoid that they
are struggling with something mentally and emotionally, eventually that can
fall into dire straits, which I then call mental illness,
where you might then be struggling more so. Not the
same with mental health issues. You may not have some
anxiety depression that you kind of are battling through. When
you get mental illness, it means something has gone so

(05:35):
unchecked now it is wreaking havoc on your life, and
whether you want to seek help or not, at some
point it's going to happen. If people just start to
acknowledge your mental health is no different than any other
health that you manage. You don't fall apart. You know
and don't decide not to want to address you. If
you have diabetes or hypertension, you'll go to the doctor
you'll take medication to get the balance. People may have

(05:56):
an issue with depression and anxiety, and it doesn't always
mean you need medication. Needs you to talk it out
with somebody. People get reluctant for some reason. There's such
a stigma about mental health that has to change for
people to balance their life. Okay, I'll get off my
soapbox now. So that's what maya my ambition and your
ambition is all about. It's about having those conversations that

(06:19):
are often difficult to have. It's about acknowledging and accepting
and accountability to get to the life that not that
you just dream of. It's about understanding how to take
that dream and make it into reality because it requires
some work.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
That right there is where it gets most people. I
tell people when they come to with me, welcome to therapy,
and give them my little housekeeping spiel. Two things are
clear here. One, you are on the driver's seat. I
am merely a tool. Don't come here to do work
and to get uncomfortable. We're probably not going to be
able to get to you where you need to be.
This isn't about sugarcoating. This is about dependent well keeping.

(06:55):
At one hundred seriously and doing the work because this
is a space where you can do it, because it's
your protected space. It's interesting that people come to therapy
and they're going to be given answers. No for a quest,
the answer is usually are within you. It's about you
activating that part of yourself to accept it. So that's
what maya is all about. So we carve on an
hour of time and what I say to people is,

(07:17):
you know what, brother, you're watching me live or you're
in the replay. However you're watching the show is fine.
The things I would tell you get you know, a
notebook if you decide you want to go on the
journey with me that you can jot down things and
if I say something really to go thank you, you
can reflect on it. And I do have a mail bag,
so if you go to my website, you can click

(07:38):
and you can actually see e mail a question to me.
And then I actually, after I get a certain amount
of questions, I'll do a mail bag show and say
here's some of the things that people have said about
an episode. And they because someone else might have the
same question that you, So I always say, write down
something if it really sticks with you so you can
reflect on it. If you're here rather liver play, You've

(07:58):
carved out this hour of time for you to start
doing some work. So even though if you're maybe not
seeing someone therapy, the fact that you're willing to be
present with me and have this for you is the
beginning of your journey of self care. And that's what
a lot of people often don't realize, is that self
care manifested in so many ways. So before we jump
fully into the language of success, which most people don't understand,

(08:21):
and I do find that in therapy that there's a
lot of things that people assume they get either they
get it, but they don't know how to apply it.
We're gonna give you some We're gonna talk about that language,
what it means, but how to make it go from
just words in action. But before we do that, I
first have to say it would not be right. We
have to acknowledge the fact that June believe you're not

(08:42):
most people don't know. This is Men's Health Month. Every
time there's a month dedicated especially to health, it's about awareness,
revenge education. With this being saying, fellas, you're often the
ones that run from therapy. You think you've got to
be all strong at moltismo. Hey, by the way, I
have some guys in therapy and they have told me
how much they value and how much they've learned that

(09:04):
they can be vulnerable. They've learned how to communicate, they
learned how to improve themselves. And when you improve you,
when you are the best version of you, every other
part of your life will benefit from it. You will
do better at work, you will be better in your relationships.
But people don't understand. The answers don't come from the outside,
they are within. No one completes you, they only compliment you.

(09:26):
So men, I say this because mental health is part
of health, and a lot of men will avoid things
and they should not. But on a bigger scale, the
whole is yours. But from a global standpoint, it is
absolutely acknowledged. Next week, which will go from the time
all the way through next week, is actually International Men's

(09:49):
Health Week. So globally men are being celebrated beyond Father's
Day and Happy Father's Day, you know in advance, but
globally men are being acknowledged and they're being elevated. Hey, phellas,
we need you to take care of yourself physically and mentally,
because we want you to have long and prosperous lives.
So I wanted to give my fellows they're just due.

(10:09):
So for instance, guys, if you haven't been to the doctor,
you know, how about we make those appointments and get
checked up. We get to a certain age where our
health is really important. And if you're like me, you
probably have noticed we've lost a lot of people under
the age of fifty five to health issues that to
be honest, if they just hit stay top on the
top of their health, they could have maybe had longer lives. Fellas,

(10:30):
take care of yourself. They were worth it. So I
will say I will do at least one show to
focus fully on men's mental health, because men think they're
you know, just about being afraid to express yourself for
show emotion. Men have their own version of menopause. It's
called andropause, and they go through a lot of changes.
But I've had the conversation with books men they like,
I have never heard of this, and that does explain

(10:53):
some things. And then we put a plan in place
of how to actually do the medical checks side of it.
So I will to show that will be all about
the fellows and things that you should be paying attention to.
Is you age recently? All right? With that being said,
let's actually jump into what this is all about Episode
sixty four. The language of success now, understanding the elements

(11:20):
that build success is a very intricate and intimate relationship.
It's an experience that is a daily thing you participate in,
not occasionally. One of the reasons most people are not
successful in things will be therapy a goal they set
is because they lack consistency, which also requires discipline. Change

(11:42):
requires daily attentiveness. If you want it to happen, it
can't be sometimes. So in this episode, we're going to
discuss important understanding the language of success by putting a
spotlight on speaking to what you want to say, put
it into existence. We're going to how do you make
success happen? Because it doesn't just, you know, happen by accident.

(12:05):
It does require that we do put some work into it.
So we will do that. We're gonna break it down
piece by piece, but first fundamentally, we're going to talk
about those building blocks, the language, the words you frequently
hear about success. I want you to understand what those
words mean. But then how to take those words and
make them into action and distinguish and understand about them,

(12:26):
how to apply them to yourself and specific situations. If
you feel like you're not being successful, what's missing? What
are you not doing? The words are not enough if
you don't understand and how to put them into action.
So that is what episode sixty four will be about. Now,
remember you can always, you know, come back and listen
to this episode. You can find episodes of Maya My Ambition.

(12:48):
Your ambition could always go to my website. I say
everything Maya is that Maya da speaks dot com the
East way to capture information. I have a daily inspiration
page or I put things up to make you reflects,
simple deep thinking. I also have a blog that is
dedicated to menopause, Me on Pause, So if you want
to learn more about menopause, ladies, you should definitely check

(13:09):
into my website go to Me on Pause blog. Fellows,
I'm gonna tell you something too. Why not educate yourself
about maybe what the woman in your life is going
through she happens to be in that window of being
forty and up. Why not learn some of the challenges
of this because it's such a big word that a
lot of people don't know anything about. So though the
blog is geared towards women, I would encourage men if

(13:29):
you want to know why your white seems a little
bit more irritable, or why you know she doesn't seem
like she really wants to be intimate with you. There's
a lot behind that, So that blog can bring a
lot of things to the table, so definitely check that out.
You can always find episodes of this on YouTube. You
just go to YouTube and searche Maya Speaks You, And

(13:49):
on my former podcast there's actually seventy four episodes, but
they weren't always based in my ambition nor vision, but
this is sixty four within the top platform that I have.
So you can always go to YouTube if you happen
to be a YouTube person and to search my Speaks
to You, it will come up there and you can
catch all previous episodes there as well. My website also

(14:10):
landing points for the podcasts you can find how you
can watch. I'm actually on every single podcast perform and exists.
You can find me in iTunes, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Amazon, Audibos, Spotify,
so all you have to is put in Maya my ambition,
your ambition, and voila, there's all my former podcasts. So

(14:30):
it's all out there. All you have to do. If
you want to go dive back in some of those
conversations I have, which I would say equally as salient,
go check it out at Maya jess speaks dot com,
or just go to your favorite podcast platform and go
listen to some of the past episodes. But I will
tell you always go pencil, pen notepad, take some notes,
because you'll get a lot of information from that. You

(14:53):
know it's interesting. I always know that this is not
a conversation for people that's interesting. It's not. I'll be honest,
there's really sexy about mental health. Mental health only becomes
paramount to people when it falls apart, and that's exactly
what the problem is. I'm trying to get people to
rethink their attitude about their mental their mental wellness, so
that you can understand how to weather the storm and

(15:16):
what shelter looks like if you've been the time to
manage it. But it doesn't get interesting until it gets messy,
which might be part of human nature and that might
be part of the problem. But into understanding the language
of success of course, this episode kind of lends itself
to why my podcast is called Maya My Ambition, Your ambition,

(15:40):
because ambition is a very powerful thing. What ambition because
most people don't truly understand it, which is interesting because
they use so many words that get thrown around and
they think they get it. But it's always interesting. Ambition
is the seed that needs to be planted. If I
had to give you a Webster's dictionary, you know, type

(16:03):
of definition for it here it is. It's pretty straightforward.
Ambition is a strong desire to do or to achieve something,
typically requiring determination and hard work. But ambition is that,
like on steroids, it's more than just determination and hard work.
It's about putting the consistency behind it and the discipline

(16:24):
behind it. It pushes hard. It's something you aim high for.
It has many things that builds it up. The people
need ambition to be able to push through things. And
this is why it's so important to understand what it is.
I mean, what comes to your mind. I wish to
say something like, you know, she is really ambitious, she

(16:44):
being who everyone to be. By the way, congratulations to
Cocoa Golf who just won for opening the last American
was Serena Williams in twenty fifteen. So I would say
Cocoa golf is very as ambitious starting playing tenny because
a kid now having two majors under her belt, she
is ambitious. So if I say that, what comes to mind,
how would you describe that person? You'd say hardworking, determine

(17:07):
the consistence they apply, They never give up, they are
just doing more than a little. They might be the
person you say is most And that's the part about ambition.
It's bigger. Ambition is the thing that will separate somebody
out from the pack. It's a person who's put ahead,
who's always finding a way to do something different or

(17:29):
to achieve what their goals are. They're always ahead of
the pack. That is ambiity. And it's important to understand
that because you will hear earther words that you may
think could be synonymous with it. And it's not something else.
When we talk about okay, ambition, we get it. It's powerful.
You know, it does a lot. It is that relentless pursuit.

(17:52):
And I put the definition up there because I feel
like you've got to see it. It's about tenacity, drive, aspiration, determination.
Those are words that people put a person ahead of
the pack because they're always pushing to do more. It's
that person you see in those commercials and they're you know,
promoting an athlete or a sport. That's a that gym
at five am, working on how they can get better,

(18:14):
how they can improve their weakness, how they can take
their game to the next level. That's ambition. How can
you take your game, whatever that game is, to the
next level. It's grind. But people just don't get ambitions
the thing that will separate all from anyone else. And
I think some people can know I'm probably not as
ambitious or so and so I mean, I'm motivated, but

(18:35):
I'm not ambitious. That's the difference. And when you understand
ambition separates you out, then you can figure out, well,
how do I get there. There's a lot of things
that leads you to addition, and one of those key
things that will lead you to ambition is will power.
And it's always loading. That's the thing that is so interesting.

(18:57):
It's always loading. And people often don't know that. They
don't know that will power in essence. In essence is
I would tell you, it is the strong desire to
do or achieve something, but not in the way that
ambition is. So if I had to give you that
Webster's Dictionary type you know, definition of ambition, it's the

(19:21):
ability to delay gratification, short term temptations and achieve long
term goals. Will power, if I had to give you
a definition of it, it's level one that will lead
you to motivation, which eventually could lead to ambition. It's

(19:42):
the boost to do things when you're struggling. It can
get you to be productive. Example, plenty of people wake
up some mores and be like, I don't feel like
going to work, but guess what you do? You get
up and you go to work. Will power be the
thing you don't want to go work out? You're like,
I gotta do this, and you find a way and

(20:03):
you push through it. It gives you just enough of
that energy to be able to do the things that
you need to do. So if you think about it,
how will power works. It gives you the capacity capacity.
Remember this is loading, so sometimes your mental and emotional
capacity can be high and sometimes it can be low.

(20:24):
It just depends. So once you gauge what your capacity is,
it gives you the inability. That's happened, and to override
the thoughts and feelings and impulses that make you not
want to move forward. So you have to have that
internal dialogue. And yes, internal dialogue. Self talk is really
important to say I don't want to get out, you
don't want to get out of bed, but we need

(20:45):
to get out of bed because we're not going to
achieve this goal if we don't. This is part of
our plan, by the way, goal planning. It's going a
couple a little later in the podcast. But will power
it's just the thing that can help you to get
up and do what you need to do. It often
seems like it could be very changeable. You ought to
hear people use terms like determination and drive and resolve
and self discipline and self control. I will say this,

(21:09):
you do need a certain amount of self control and
self discipline to be able to tap into your willpower
because when you are weak, whatever amount of willpower you
have is the thing you're trying to put you to
put it out to get things done. So willpower it's
level one, what gets you to level two. The word
that you people talk about the most is motivation. We

(21:32):
know if you're on empty, you're working more on the
you're working, really more on the willpower you're to get
yourself up to half a tank, because motivation usually gets
you have tank to full. So if we have to
talk about motivation again, if I have to give you
a working definition of what that means, pretty simple. It's
the driving force behind our actions. It's the internal external

(21:56):
factors that initiate, direct, and sustain are behavior towards specific goals.
That's motivation. Will power you do just enough of maybe
the self control and discipline to do the thing you
don't want to. It's motivation that takes it to the
next level. Now I have to understand. As simple as
that might sounds, guess what, it's not simple because there

(22:18):
is a makeup to motivation. It's very intricate. And this
is the thing that people have to learn to understand
to be able to really begin to say, Okay, planned,
I'm struggling with motivation because I didn't realize it was
that intimate and that intricate process to be able to

(22:40):
achieve it. So let's talk about the driving forces. There
are internal versus external things that you do have to navigate.
You talk about motivation, So internal versus external internal is
that intrinsic. It's that that drive that rewards satisfaction interest
from the inside, Whereas when something is external or extrinsic,

(23:04):
it's driven by external factors. So it would be if
I accomplish this, if I get a then my parents
are going to buy me a car, Or if I
achieve this goal or have to achieve and do this
much in a sales job, then I get a bonus.
So there's something external. The internal is you might want
the reward because you want the bonus. It is the

(23:26):
bonus that's driving you. It's an internal factor that can
influence how you actually want to do something. Actually, external
things such as praise and affirmation can be things that
motivate us to do things. Believe it or not. Fear
can motivate people to do things. So you have to
understand the driving force that's internal versus external. Now, what

(23:50):
about the idea that motivation very often is goal oriented. Fundamentally,
motivation is always going to be had some desired outcome
that we should For some people that can be a goal.
Motivation does not exist in a vacuum. There's something that
you legitimately trying to achieve in the process. These things

(24:13):
can also influence your behavior, and most people don't know
that influence behavior. It's gonna dictate your actions. Obviously, motivation
will make you decide the action that you take. So
if you want that bonus at work, it might be
that you have to go early, work later, go in
a day that you're not supposed to work to achieve
that goal to get the bonus. Hence, your behavior is

(24:38):
being influenced by the motivation for either that internal or
external thing that you're trying to achieve. And of course
we all know there's always a psychological impact to this,
that motivation can influence your overall well being because if
you don't find the balance and how it actsper mental health,
you can become stressed or depressed because you keep trying

(25:00):
to achieve something in your failing. So then it starts
to make you question yourself. Do I have the ability?
Am I smart enough? Maybe I shouldn't have done this,
This is why I don't get the promotions. So there's
a lot to understanding how motivation is tied so so
many of the decisions that you make how you feel
about yourself. Motivation is not this word that exists in

(25:21):
a vacuum hopefully you understand that piece. But here's what's
more interesting. There are also types of motivation. So I
talked a bit about trendsity. Internal. This arises from enjoyment
and satisfactions moctivities that we do for ourselves. Sometimes for people,
it could be creating art. For some people, it might
be in music. For somebody you know, it might be

(25:43):
you know, just anything that brings you joy and satisfaction
can drive you to be motivated to do something. Some
people might work hard at work because they like to
travel and they need the money to travel, so that
motive that motivates it intrensically, whereas trensic motivation comes from
the external factors like rewards or recognition, even avoidance of

(26:06):
negative consequences. You have you ever heard a person say
something like, I don't understand why they made a big
deal WHI I was late to work. I was only
five minutes late and then But doesn't the policy say
that if you clock in or you're late, it's still late.
Whereas you'll have another person who gets it, it will
be like they get to work early so they don't
have to worry about being late because they don't want

(26:28):
the negative consequences that could come with potentially being written
up for being late to work. But the person who
is late for work gets written up for some reason
can't see the process You created the negative consequence when
you didn't follow the rule. We know how human nature
works and how people processes things. I have to tell
you something. We have to get into something called dialectical

(26:50):
behavioral therapy that talks about the three ways in your
mind works. Because a lot of people they understood how
to how your mind works in three dimensions, and you
made you one more than the other, maybe would start
making better, smarter, more well balanced decisions because they understand
their way of thinking. So there's also we've talked about fornsic, extrinsic,

(27:11):
the things that you know. Those are types, but there's
also approach motivation. Approach motivation involves is they want to
get to those positive outcomes like achieving a goal or
receiving a reward. So you put together an approach. You're motivated. So,
like I said, you may have to do a behavior
because it's action oriented that can get you there versus

(27:32):
other people might do avoidance. They may avoid a negative
outcome like punishment or failure. So they'll do something because
they're motivated to not deal with it. So, believe it
or not, motivation is not something that's just one dimensional.
There's many pieces that are really important to understand. So
we're going to talk a bit about well how do

(27:54):
I navigate these things well negativebou how to jump start
your motivations As we're talking about it, understand and everybody
thinks lofty goal, short term goals are equally important as
long term goals, not to mention. In many cases, short
term goals are the foundational pieces for larger goals. You
have to look at the totality of what you're looking

(28:15):
at and say, I want to get to this, but
in order to get to this, I have to do this, this,
and this. So often breaking things into smaller, more managed
depths process can actually help you to achieve that. But
what's really interesting, and I always tell people this that
I always they don't have goals. They didn't have a plan,
they don't know where to start. They want something, but

(28:36):
they don't have a plan. That's a problem. You cannot
have an idea and not a way to put it
into action. But when you try to do everything at once,
chances are you're going to fail now say that. Let
me give you an example, because I always feel the
best way for people to often understand these kind of
conversations is I say this. Let's just say you finally

(28:58):
sit down and write down some because remember we're halfway
through the year, which means if you didn't get half
the things you said you want to do back in
January with that resolution thing, well now it's the time
to stop and say I did not pieve those things. Well,
did you write them down? Did you give them a
time frame to achieve them? Was there an action plan?
Probably not. This is where you break into smaller things
one goal. Like let's just say you're like, I want

(29:21):
to save money. I don't have a savings account, a
grainy day fund. May say I'm going to start small.
Every paycheck, I'm going to take at least twenty five
dollars and put it to a savings account and not
achieve it. If you started that on January, on that
first month, you had one hundred bucks. If you get
paid weekly, if not, then you still had one hundred bucks.

(29:41):
You know, you know, it's just twenty five to fifty.
It depends on how you get paid. But The thing
is you can see the fruits of your labor because
by the time you got to June, rather you know
it was depending upon how your pain was. Let's just
seet paid every week January, February, March, April. May you
have five hundred bucks sitting there that you All you
had to do was create a simple plan to make
it happen. It's a small thing. Now you can say,

(30:04):
I want my rating day fund to have at least
five thousand dollars in it, because I have found when
I hit a rough patch, if I would have that much,
I could have navigated that storm about lot better financially. Okay,
granted it's not the five thousand that you want it,
but you have something, and then it's a discipline and
consistency of not using touching it and sticking to the plan.
And eventually, let's just say, if you can start adding more,

(30:26):
you're like, hey, that's twenty five dollars, I didn't really
miss it. I'm gonna adult it. I'm gonna put fifty away.
It's all about perspective and how you approach these Okay,
so that's motivation show. Let's get into the nuts and
bolts of where people tend to fall short because this
is the thing that most people don't consider goals versus planning.

(30:52):
Then they cannot be one without the other. Especially, you
can't have a goal and not put a plan, and
a plane without a goal. It just doesn't make sense.
Was that wonderful saying you deciding to he It was
base in the fact that you in vided not to plan,

(31:14):
and it's the truth, and most people struggle with that.
But before we jump into that, let me take it
to breast favorite boot. Let me make sure I'm on
the right place. I've been away for a while. I
think I'm doing okay. I'll get back into it, but
let's take a quick break, talk about some mental health
stuff on the other side the break, I'll come back
and we're going to pick up with goal versus planning.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
Stepping out of bed it's easy to take for granted.
You work, eat, play, sleep, and get out of bed
the next morning. Seems simple. But if you're one of
twenty five million individuals in the United States living with
major depression, sleep isn't always so easy. Neither's navigating your
daily life free of guilt or hopelessness, or having the

(31:56):
ability to enjoy time out with friends, make simple decisions,
enjoy hobbies or go to work. Major depression is the
leading cause of disability across the United States, and without treatment,
the frequency and severity of symptoms tend to increase over time. However,
there is hope. Major depression is treatable, and there is
no one size fits all approach. Today, there are a variety.

Speaker 4 (32:19):
Of treatment options to choose from. The key is to
get an evaluation and find a treatment plan that is
right for you. Free education, information, and support programs are available.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
You are not alone.

Speaker 4 (32:32):
We can help.

Speaker 5 (32:47):
You may not realize it, but these words often used
to describe someone with a mental health condition can be
very harmful. In a country where one in five people
are affected by a mental health condition, It's time for
all of us to step up and change the conversation.
Just because someone's struggle isn't obvious on the outside doesn't
mean they aren't hurting on the inside. We need to
see the person, not the condition. Join with me, Pledge

(33:08):
to be stigma free.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
It's okay to think you're in a toxic relationship with
the world right now.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
It's okay to feel like your world is changing.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
It's okay if it's hard to find the words to
express how you feel.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
It's okay to feel like you just want to become
someone else.

Speaker 5 (33:33):
It's okay if you're panicking over an inability to control
your life right now.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
It's okay to have trouble maintaining a normal routine.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
I'll staying home.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
It's okay if you're feeling more cynical than usual. It's
okay if you want to curse more than you usually do.

Speaker 5 (33:54):
It's okay to wear your favorite tank tops several days.

Speaker 6 (33:56):
In a row.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
It's okay to miss your job.

Speaker 4 (33:59):
It's okay to just stay quiet.

Speaker 6 (34:04):
It's okay to be depressed.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
It's okay to talk to your cats like they understand
what you're saying.

Speaker 6 (34:12):
It's okay not to feel the most fabulous right now.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
It's okay.

Speaker 6 (34:15):
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay,
it's okay.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
Welcome back to Maya. My ambition, your ambition, the language
of success. This is episode sixty more that we are
kind of breaking down some key things to understand what
goes into success. Understanding more the words like you can't
just say things like ambition and willpower and motivation and
not understand what it legitimately means. You got to get

(35:04):
to the core of these things to understand them, to
be able to make them truly actionable. Hopefully we got
some good insight about mental health for commercial break, and
it is okay to not be okay, but I want
to do something a little bit more. I want to
challenge people on this. If you're not okay, say it,
tell somebody. And here's one that's even bigger than that.

(35:26):
If you see somebody you know and they don't seem okay,
sometimes waiting for somebody to ask are you okay? Be good?
You just won't seem like yourself lately. I could be wrong,
but at least I want to check in, because if
you're not good, I'm here for you. It's sometimes something
that simple that can change somebody's life. Someone just asking
I think, okay, are you good? However you communicate, do

(35:48):
you do all? Right? So back to I said, on
the side of this side of the break, we're gonna
talk about the big the big elephant in the wom
to me, which is goal versus planning. Now, I think
it's interesting the lot of people think they legitimately know
what a goal is, but do they really know and

(36:08):
if they do know, have they actually the thought into
what the goal is and why exist? By the way,
that's the tying in at the back end of the podcast,
Passion versus Person. Is that a conversation that I have
with people in therapy all the time, because it does
matter if you don't get those two things, because to
be honest, without those two things, the goal planning is

(36:30):
way more complicated. But I decided to put that on
the back end to make that the wrap up conversation
because that's what people can start with with all the
other things that struggling. So what's a goal? You know,
it seems like, oh, we all know what a goal is.
A goal, isn't it being motivated? No? Not necessarily. Not necessarily,

(36:51):
it requires that, But it's more than just being motivated
to get something done. What is that you're trying to
get done? So when we talk about what is a goal,
clearly the simplest way to say this is that a goal,
for what it's worth, is a desired outcome. Let's do

(37:11):
the Webster thing a goal. A goal represents what you
want to achieve versus so it's the end result of
a destination you were aiming for. So the goal could
be something that could happen in three days, the goal
could be something that could happen in sixty it could
happen in a year. See that's the planning piece. We're
going to get into that a minute. But the goal
is what is it that you want to achieve? What

(37:34):
are you trying to get to? What is the outcome?
And a lot of times you have to be very clear.
I often finally ask people what's your goal of this?
I can ask people first sessions in therapy, so what's
your goal for coming to therapy? And most people go, WHOA,
what's that mean? Because being happy, that right there in
itself is a very complex thing to process. I said, well,

(37:57):
we got to we gotta tear the apartment because is
that's a very big, long term maybe goal. We got
to figure out why you're not happy. So one of
the things I do with people they come and that
they're actually giving a goal worksheet to go home and
work on. If they didn't come with knowing specifically what
they liked the outcomes to be of therapy. This is
about coming in every week and is randomly talking. We
should be achieving something to make sure you're getting somewhere.

(38:20):
So I said, well, this is homework, but it's not
homework that's hard. It's like, I want us to have
a roadmap that we're going to use to make sure
that what you came here for you get or maybe
we'll discover some things else along the way, but at
least we got to have a plan. So it's something
that you want to achieve. It's an enner result in outcome,
and you need to be really clear about what that is.

(38:43):
So the relationship between a goal and a plan, look
at it this way, and it's important to truly actually
understand the difference. Is that a goal is where you
want to get to, right, you got to know if

(39:05):
a plan is the means of how you're going to
get to the goal. This is why you can't have
without one without the other. So someone was like, well
I wanted to get a car, and the question is, well,
did you have the money by the car? Well, know, well,
how are you going to get the car? It's just
I want to get one, okay, but do you put
something in place? Do you know what your budget is

(39:26):
or do you make enough money that can achieve that
for you. It's that lack of the playing part, but
always seems to get people stuck because they just want
something without understanding how they're going to get to you.
The goal what, it's the outcome, but the plan is
how you actually get there. And that place is so
it is so key. So we gave goal that much

(39:46):
attention and thinking about a mission, then we got to
give the same attention to the plan. The plan outline
outlines the how. So remember the goal is the what.
The plan is the how you reach that goal. It
includes specific steps, task, resources, and deadlines needed to achieve
the desired outcome. Wants say this again. It includes specific

(40:08):
steps which could be step one, do this, I need
this resource to achieve it. So I want a car?
Am I working? No? I am working, but I don't
make enough? Okay, so resources, well one better as a car,
But what's your budget? Sometimes you have goals should be realistic,
They should be smart smart goals where don't wish for

(40:31):
somebody to start small and figure out, well, this is
my starting point, not my ending point. So this is
what I could afford based on what I budget? Right,
So resources, task might be okay, I may have to
plan this out that I may have to work over
time and save this much money for the next six

(40:52):
months to be able to get this. Do I want
to finance a car versus just buying a car straight
out cash and not have that responsibility. See, these are
all things that have to go into the planning understanding
and give yourself a deadline, because if you work without deadlines,
this is often why people don't achieve things. If you
leave it open ended, like I want a car and
you just keep working, but you're not saving money. You're
not working the plan. A year could go buy and

(41:14):
you still don't have the car. But if you say, hey,
in six months, I need to have this much money saved,
and it's six months, you check in with yourself and
you said, you know what, I didn't hit it. Why
because you know what, I was spending money. I didn't
want to the overtime, I said, another financial issue came
up that took me away. You got to assess it
and then make adjustments. That's something else that should be

(41:35):
in the plan. Does it require adjustments? It always requires
revision and evaluation. That's the plan to make it actionable.
So just like gold got some potential understanding. The plan
itself is where people often fail, not to beive the
things that you're trying to get. So the plan is
so important. I'll say it again, failure to plan is

(41:57):
planning to fail. And I know a very very cliche,
it really really is. But if you think about it,
the essence of that saying is legitimate. If you don't
have a plan, you're not gonna achieve it, which means
you're gonna fail. Whenever you fail something I always tell
failure is just an opportunity to do better. The question
is what do you do with your failure? And if

(42:18):
you go back and say, like real talk, I didn't
have a plan or the plan I had, I really
didn't work it the way I was supposed to. So
hence can I really bad at somebody else because I
didn't get it done. I didn't get it done because
I didn't stay to what I said. Remember early in
the podcast, I said consistency, it's one of the biggest
things to be successful. And discipline. When you put those

(42:40):
things in front of you, like I must commit to this,
I have to be disciplined, I gotta push myself. It
goes that way. So just remember, you gotta have the plan.
So I said I was gonna save the best for
last because I think it's so important. It is so important,

(43:00):
And this is a converation that happens in therapy with
so many people when they feel stuck. When I said
earlier in my little opening and feeling stuck, it's because
a lot of common therapy like I just don't get it,
I just don't know what I'm doing. I feel lost,
And sometimes that comes from a lot of different life events.
Through the span, we're going to be at different junctures.

(43:23):
And this is why having a really salient conversation about
passion and purpose is so important because there's such a
big part of understanding the roadmap. It's what helps you
to figure out what the goal is and how to
make the plan. So one of the things I always
ask people straight out therapy, Okay, what's your passion versus

(43:47):
what's your purpose? It is paramount that you know the
difference because they are not the same. They are very intertwined.
They definitely have this condition that's really important to understand,
and at different points of life they look differently. So

(44:10):
when I say the lifespan, it's because within psychology look
at the individual or what we call over their lifespan.
So when you are a child, there's like you know, infancy,
when it goes into like early adolescents adolescents, and then
there's young adulthood, and there's adulthood, and there's late adulthood.
And within each of those stages, which are usually defined
by ages, legitimately, you're not gonna want the same things,

(44:34):
or need the same things, or feel the same way
because our life is shaped by our experiences. Yes, those
very early experience in our childhood definitely impact the way
that we may move as adults. And that's one of
the things it may seem like so cliche to process
your childhood. Sometimes when you started prossing your childhood, you
come to understand, I didn't pick that up before, and

(44:55):
now I can see why I struggle with this relationships
or I'm not good with money. There's a lot there.
Think about it. If no one ever talks you about money,
are you can't necessarily be a bit about it unless
you take that big step as an adult and educate yourself.
If no one really taught you much about emotions, how
to process things, or when you didn't do well it

(45:16):
comes to making you feel bad. They said, hey, it's okay.
We all make mistakes, but you can do better next time.
I can help you. It's those little things in parenting
that makes the difference in the kind of adult that
we become. Teaching the child compassion, giving them space to
make a mistake and to learn from it, and learning
how to properly communicate their emotions. Now, mind you, nobody

(45:37):
goes into it because there is no book or instruction
manual about parents, though, I think, but now real talk,
there are some out that they can give you some
really what I feel important tips about think of it differently,
but I always say, think about what you didn't get
and would have liked. That doesn't mean your child as you,
but it is something you felt that could have made
you more prepared for the world. And are you giving

(45:59):
that to child? Are you better relationships based on what
you understand?

Speaker 3 (46:05):
What?

Speaker 2 (46:06):
Passion and purpose eludes people all the time. So I
started out with the one that people experience more life.
What's your passion? What's your passion, by definition, is a
strong feeling of enthusiasm or interest and what's interesting. On

(46:27):
the flip side, purpose is a bit different. It's a
deeper sceense of meaning or direction in life. So passion
can be a driving force for purpose depending on where
you are in your life's but purpose becomes the framework
of how that passion actually comes to be. So often
people who have purpose to make the pact beyond themselves.

(46:49):
So if passion is a strong enthusiasm of interest in something,
which means we could, let's say, if we had to
describe it, had to give passion personality. It's personal. But
the thing about that most people don't understand, and this
is really important, is passion can be fleeting and can
be driven by enjoyment of pleasure. So some people will say,
you know, I used to really enjoy gaming and now

(47:12):
I'm just not into it. And I was like, well,
what's different about your life now? They're like, well, I
got a job, time is none that is, but I
just I just don't enjoy it the same way. That's okay,
because a passion isn't always something that's going to ride
out with you the whole time. And most people don't know.
As you move through the lifespan, which you might have
at fifteen, do you like at thirty, No, at thirty

(47:35):
you don't maybe want the same thing at fifty. It's
just we have different needs. Life shapes us in a way.
We then kind of pour ourselves or desire things differently.
What makes purpose different because a deeper sense of me
and duction and life that goes beyond personal enjoyment. So
purpose we're often looking outside of ourselves to do something

(47:57):
for others. It's all risking or as passion is usually
warm unique to us, it does any others can't benefit
from it. But we're really often thinking about ourselves. So
this is why people doing here the time. This is
why people may donate to a certain charity. For instance,
some people might decide I want to make a difference
in child's lives. They may be fostered because they feel

(48:18):
that they can They have something to offer that they
can give. So you have to understand what makes them different,
not get hung up if you feel like you don't
have them. So think about the drivers. As we just
talked about, passion is often personal. Can be fleeing this
environment pleasure and that's okay. But on the flip side,
when we talk about purpose, the driver with purpose is

(48:43):
it's more inering, it's altruistic. It often involves contributing to
something larger outside of ourselves. You must separate those two
things and do not confuse them and light early on.
Let's be honest. In our earlier life twenties to thirties,
we may be more all about passion because we're young,
We're learning life is in front of us. We're learning
more about ourselves and the world. And then you may

(49:05):
get married and you have kids and your purpose may
align to being a better parent. You got to look
at where you're out life and what are the wants
and the needs. If you can't seem to find or
your passion is or your purpose is, it's okay to
tell yourself guess what. I'm pretty sure they're different for
a reason now because I'm a different person than I

(49:26):
was five years ago. Well, what is the new? What
evolves you? What does this evolve you want? For passion
and purpose? The key difference is that I always tell
people to pay attention to It's like be coorse, but
it's important. There's duration, focus, and quantity. When you talk
about passion versus purpose, the focus is Remember passions about

(49:49):
personal enjoyment while purpose is about impact. Distinguish that don't
get upset if you can't figure out what your purpose
is because maybe you're still looking for your passion. Two,
if you think about point, it's you can have multiple passions.
You might like to go traveling, you may like to pottery,

(50:11):
you may be passionate about when you get a shelter
and that. Whereas eventually in life, purpose will align itself
down to usually one thing, it becomes very A lot
of people got to struggle the idea that that way
and duration, purpose tends to be longer once you establish it,

(50:33):
you know what it is that you really want to
pour yourself into, then you do so. Where it's passion
may be fleeting. What's happened today may not happen to
borrow you kind of say passion. Sometimes it can be
a little like fashion, And I know people got to
struggle with like, really is it could be a little fat. Yeah,
but it's okay to ask yourself what my passion? Because

(50:56):
here's something I found as an actual I think it's
a read that way to kind of think about how
you actually do this. So if you think about it
this way, pen mission, this could have been passion purpose
because when you figure out your passion, it often puts
you on a mission that can lead you to purpose,

(51:17):
and that part can be amazing within itself. So don't
get overwhelmed if you don't have the answers. It's about
discovery because these things are not easy to always come upon.
As we evolve and we mature, we have to be
open to that. So be flexible. Don't think that everything

(51:38):
in life is now negotiable when it comes to your
emotions and feelings and your wants and needs, because they're not.
Be it about what motivates you, and let that motivation
be that thing that maybe gets you to the ambition
that you think has been eluding you. Remember I said
about ambition earlier. Motivation is one thing. We can all
be motivated, But ambition is a thing that makes somebody

(51:58):
the reader of the pack. It's the preem that rises
to the top, do more, they push harder, And you
don't have to be that person. Just because you're not
being less is described as being ambitious, doesn't mean you're
not a person who's not successful. Understand this the best saving,
the best thing ever. I think it was saved by
Oh God, I think this theter was Abel. It was

(52:19):
one of the older presidents of Eisenhower confusing, but I
think it was Roosevelt. He said that comparison is the
thief of joy. And that's one of the things I
have got from therapy about all the time. Stop comparing
yourself to other people. They're not you. They don't have
your stories, your experiences, And though you could have something

(52:42):
in common with someone, it does not mean that you
are the same. And people often make that mistake that
all wes have this in common and we had that experience. Okay,
you shared something, but you were still two different people
because maybe the path that got you there is not saying.
But people make the mistake of always going to align
themselves with someone because they share something in common, and
that is a very quick way to self sabotage you

(53:05):
because you're working so hard to compare yourself to someone
else when you're not the same. Thanks, this is gonna
work that you actually do and therapy, so everyone of
maya my ambition, your ambition. I know it's been a
long time coming. This was the language of Success episode

(53:26):
sixty four. Long time for me to actually get here.
But I appreciate everybody for tea live orthough you're gonna
pick this up and you're gonna listen to it later,
which either way, just make sure it's time for you.
You create that space paper pen, get your favorite page
and just sit back, relax and listen. If I say
something that really sparks, something that's good, because the podcast

(53:47):
is here to help you to identify your ambition, harness
that motivation, and to help you acquire success and satisfaction
that you speak in every issue of every area of
your life, whether it be emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially, socially, professionally.
This is what Maya is all about. So remember you
can listen to episodes of Maya My Ambition, Your Ambition.

(54:10):
Probably the easiest way to get all things Maya is
just to go to Maya dashed speaks dot com because
you can then click on the podcast page and they'll
take you to all the platforms. Everybody has their kind
of platform of choices. I said, you can find me
on iTunes, Apple Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Amazon Phals, Spotify.
If it's your platform, probably there just search Maya My Ambition,

(54:31):
Your Ambition and there's lots of other episodes that you
just might want to dive into and get more things
out of it. Of course, I always ask people to
subscribe and share my YouTube page. It's Maya speaks to you.
So if you happen to be you can. All you
have to do is just go there, you know, and
you can go ahead and you can, you know, listen
to and subscribe and do like good stuff. Share. If
you think you got somebody, you might say, you know what.

(54:54):
They don't want to go to therapy, but they might
get something through this. By the way, this is not
here because I'm here to tell you what to do.
I'm here to encourage you. Don't want to be the
best version of you. I'm not going to give you advice.
I'm not your therapist. If that's the case, you get
on my link, it's like they make an appointment and
come and see me. This is purely something to help
people enrich their lives. I am not an expert for
you because I don't know you, So don't go and
say Maya said No. Maya was talking about something that

(55:16):
piqued my interest. Maybe it's worth me exploring in deeper detail.
So it's some past episodes and there's some good ones
in there. Then most people have said I actually just
went back to the beginning of your podcast and started
listening to them and really got good information that really
made me kind of rethink how I was doing things.
I'm like, I can kind of be your self help

(55:36):
kind of podcast, so to speak. Give you some ideas
and then you can do the research and try some
of those things and go from there. But subscribe to
the us TV page. Remember everyone, I said this June
June is Men's Health Month, and next week is International
Men's Health Month Week. So fellas take care of yourself,
put the effort in, do those things that are important

(55:58):
for you. Well, everyone, thank you for tuning in. I
appreciate everyone's time. I've been away for a while, so
I know I've got to get traction back and get
kind of everybody you know back on page. But I
do appreciate everyone being here. Hopefully you've got something from it.
Remember if something popped up in your mind, you got
a question, I always encourage people to go to mayadash
speaks dot com, send a message through, and usually maybe

(56:22):
once a month or two months, I'll take some of
those questions and actually just do a podcast that's nothing
but about questions I've gotten courset anonymously. It's called a mailbags,
and we just kind of some of the things that
people bring up, like you said this, could you talk
about this more episode? You said this, and I kind
of want more clarity or kind of pop this thought.
Great with that kind of exchange, because often I find

(56:42):
that one person has started somebody else has probably thought
it as well. With that being said, everyone for this
episode can't promise I'll be back next week because I'm
easing my way back into this, but I will definitely
be back in two weeks, which be June twenty first,
for a second episode coming into this season, and after that,
eventually I'll get back into my rhythm of one podcast

(57:04):
a week, but I got to work my way into
it because I've been gone for a while. But either way,
number your present becomes your past and your future is
no more. So make the most of every day. You
will stay safe and be amazing.

Speaker 1 (57:24):
Whether you're on the go or listening on your cell phone, tablet,
or laptop, you can find the show and the iTunes,
Google and iHeartRadio platforms.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
All due respect, I believe this is going to be
our finest hour.

Speaker 1 (57:36):
Just search maya my ambition, your ambition, and get ready
to be inspired and motivated to harness your ambition,