September 22, 2025 • 24 mins
the dark side of sex pt2
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Testing, testing, testing, testing, you know, doing doing this what
we're doing, girl, it takes two.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It's not just a person. So I got a question,
how did you feel? Welcome?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. This is the how does It Feel? Podcast?
The Basic Sex adult education podcast and tonight and I
am Uncle Sonali the narrator. All right, Uncle Sonali the
(00:58):
host of the podcast. So last week we talked about
the dark side of sex, all right, and it got
really deep quick overview, a real quick overview, because I
did use AI for the last bit of research I
did the last episode the Dark.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Side of Sex. Now the dark side of sex? So
what were they saying?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
The dark side of sex refers to the potentially harmful, negative,
and unhealthy aspects of sexual behavior. This encompasses everything from nonconsensual,
non consensual acts and compulsive behaviors to damaging, emotional and
physical consequences.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
All right, So.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
What I grabbed a whole too in the research that
I did, the overall conclusion that I came to with
cycles reasons effects. All right, where am I going with this?
The dark side or sex? I would say that there
(02:11):
would be a victim second the dark side, and we
ain't putting color into it, but dark side usually means
something to do like dark psychology means you're using this
to cause harm, just like they said, are you're manipulating
somebody just for some type of game. So a person
that would do this would be a predator, correct, all right?
So a person who's thinking, let's put it like this,
(02:35):
there's a victim in there's a predator.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Why do people get caught? How does this?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
You know, I'm a strong willed person, I have family,
a support system. How could I ever be the victim
of sexual assault? Well, let's look at some statistics. What
are statistics about sexual assault? Every seventy four US seconds,
(03:02):
Every seventy four seconds, someone in the US is sexually assaulted.
Every nine minutes that someone as a child. Department of Justice,
Office of Justice Programs, Area of Justice Statistics, National Crime
Victimizations nineteen two.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Now that's old, right, But.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Fifty five point six percent of individuals and cases involving
travel for prohibited sexual contact for white sixty five sixty
What this was? Just the United States Sentencing Commission sixty
point five of individuals and cases involving criminal sex abuse. Right, Wow,
I was just floating down here, We're not even gonna
get into that right now. But some of the res
(03:49):
the sources that I got were like Robert Witty, PhD.
Psychology Today. I looked at thing as like casual sex.
Sex is pretty serious. It is serious. It ain't pretty serious.
And the whole point of this show is.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
To like.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Take responsibility for your sexual activity. We are so saturated
with like lust on as far as entertainment and how
to sell things that I think we have become frivolous
and just careless or if we've ever had a concern.
This is not like back in the days as aldom,
there's like straight diseases you can get from just coughing
(04:29):
on people. But I want people to understand how serious
sexual activity really is. I want you to really get
this that like consent is a big deal. That's why
the first episode was about consent. And people have to
be saying yes the whole time. That's why in certain
sex scenes you see people saying yes, yes, give it
to me, give it to me. You gotta communicate pretty
(04:51):
much that way through the whole thing, and there's gotta
be some form of understanding.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
And I think that.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Some people, and probably primarily it would probably be men.
Since men are in the leading position, that would probably
be the leading STA statistic. If there's a lack of communication,
that's probably why there can be victims. Or you know,
when somebody can't get what they want, that's when the
problem comes. So when you can't get what you want,
(05:19):
or somebody wants to stop while you're having sex, let's
put it like that.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
If she's saying stop or he's saying stop.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
And you want to keep going, yeah, you're breaking aloft,
you keep going, you feel me.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
But some people they don't.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
They already know they let's see, they're intelligent enough to
know that there could be blocks, something's gonna stop me,
or they just don't care about the law, you know.
So what they do is they go and find people
who they can manipulate to get what they want out
of them. But in this case, it's not money, it's
(05:53):
not necessarily attention. They want sex. So like a predator
will probably let's say an adult, this was what it
is when they had at one point in time. Last Monday,
when I was talking about how people can be victimized,
there's you know, even the strong people. There are certain
(06:16):
points in time in your life where you let your
guard down, and people can just come in and manipulate,
such as like the age of seven to twelve, especially
when you're like first starting school. You're going you're because
the kids are being handled by so many different people
and there's no telling who's touching them or who's around them.
You see what I'm saying. And then there's like thirteen
(06:36):
to what nineteen. You're always around if you're outside of
your home, and it can happen to your home, but
if it's not happening in your home.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You go to school and.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
You're around all kinds of different people, and there's no
telling what type of urges these people have or what
they're willing.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
To do to get what they want. But let me
look at what I wrote down.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Psychology that what they say, Well, okay, this was about
casual sex, because remember I was saying, we just are
frivolous about sex because we see and there's no I
like it. I like watching I like looking at beautiful women,
I really do. But I also have to keep in
(07:21):
mind that it's just entertainment.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
And I know that.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
It seems that media movies have always portrayed the male
to like go out there and get the girl, have sex,
and get as you.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Know, made as much as possible.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
All right, But this is saying when it comes to
casual sex, those who are committed relationships show similar levels
of psychological well being.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Has those who like.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Casual you know, those who those okay, basically people in
committed relationships and people who who have casual sex. They
seem to have similar levels of psychological well being, meaning
they seem all right. But in contrast of casual sex
is associated with worse mental health, meaning a lot of
people who have like bad men's health usually have.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Casual sex.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Reported those who engage in casual sex have decreased sense
of well being, self esteem, life satisfaction. They're often they're
distressed and have depression. I guess because you kind of
lower your standard. Think when you have standards and you
guard that that will your value is up. But hold on,
(08:44):
Men are more likely to report that casual sex is positive,
you know, emotional. They usually have better because women, I think,
have to have attachments when they have sex and men
can mainly just go out there and do it. But
here's the thing we've also sei I mean today that
there are men that like to express their emotions and
they're getting teased for that, they're getting made fun of
(09:05):
for that. But could it be that because we're trying
to be on the John Wayne stuff, we tend to equate.
Let's have sex when we feel a certain way to
improve our dominance, as opposed to having sex with this
person because we want to make each other feel good.
I mean, yeah, I want you to have my baby
because maybe some guys want the trophy wife and they
just want this woman to have their baby because they
(09:27):
want their baby to look a certain way.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
It's a very psychological thing, this thing we call sex
and love. It's something that they say can happen over time.
It's a condition, a feeling. I don't know, but they
say people can fall in love and fall out of love.
People can have sex and make a baby without being
(09:51):
in love. What I'm trying to get you to understand
is that sex has impacted It's powerful.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
All right.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
And that information came from Rob Witty, PhD. Talking about men.
It's three years old, though it's five years old. Actually
came out in twenty twenty, but it's from psychology today.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Let's see here and then when we talk about like.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Actaica Psychological What was this? April twenty twenty third manipulation
nine J Wise Expectation and Sexual Abuse.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Nan J. Wise is a PhD.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
You know, we'd like to think this was the myth
that this article wanted people to stop thinking that you
can't be a victim, that it can't happen, because it
can happen in time of distress. It can happen to
people who are perfectionist, especially if they joined certain groups.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Like let's say there's cult members out there.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
That know how to manipulate people who are workaholics, and
then they know how to abuse.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Now, this is the dark side of sex.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
So if you feel somewhat oh, this is just because
it's non consensual. Usually it's coherced. It's a manipulation. It's
not consensual. It's not like, oh I love you, we're together. No, No,
I'm not into magic. I don't do magic. But this
definitely ain't the Harry Potter siety. This is Valdemore, all right.
(11:33):
This is definitely the dark side of sex.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
It's like when Dracul little bites and femails and make
her do what wants her to do. There's deeper meanings
through that.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
So her example was the cult leaders, right, And since
we were on the subject the cult leaders, let's just
say that the colt leaders tend to go after the
brightest and the best.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Sound familiar.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
They usually go after the brightest and the bet cause
why not, uh, depression and being in traditional periods.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Now, that was exactly where I wanted to get to.
Its traditional.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Or even people like your boy here succeptable to being
hit by predator. I know some people out there although
it can never happen to me, never could happen to me.
Statistically it can, but let's hope that it don't. And
for some people in certain situations, it just won't. Cause
some predators are only gonna go after those who are
(12:42):
silent and they're loud. But this said, they also go
after the brightest and the best. Hence football coaches that
have touched the football players and he didn't want to
say anything cause it was his football coach or his
wrestling coach.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yeah, look it up, all right, So.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
These things can make us all succeptable to being manipulated.
They have high The high risk zone is the first
few months of college. They say, the high rids zone
is like the first few months of school, when schools,
the school year is starting. I would say that that
makes sense. When you're enrolling kids in school and it's
(13:31):
the beginning and it's so much going on and nobody's
paying attention, that's usually all can slip through the crack shit.
It happens that fast. Think about it. These are sexual offenses.
So if somebody with stealing, they have to do with
what when your.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Back is turned.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
If they did it in front of you, they still
have to disguise you with a smile. Instead of stealing
the merchandise are item from you, they're taking something up
away from you that they definitely can't give back. So
they have to do it when someone's not watching. Well,
how do you touch somebody and they're not watching. Well,
(14:06):
if it's somebody who doesn't know any better and their
guardian isn't watching, that's the way to do it.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That's the offense.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
The person is too young to say no, don't do it,
that's the offense.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
That's the crime.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
So, like I said, once again, this is definitely the
dark side of it.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
DNC Harry Potter right now all the time, all right,
So they got the age is seven to.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Thirteen twelve to seventeen because of the increased access.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
You know, this is a high risk.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
These are high risk zones, high risk for sexual abuse,
plain and simple, Plain and simple high risk for sexual abuse.
Also religion, that's what they said. I remember them saying,
the traditional traditional periods can be your religion manipulating people.
(15:13):
Like let's say you're telling them they can get to
heaven if she has sex with you. Are you telling
them that it's okay you marry an underage girl, telling
her it's okay because you use a verse out the Bible,
or are you use something that's from their religion to
tell to justify the action that you're doing. People who
are elderly they get took advantage of. Are somebody who's
(15:36):
just really lonely. A guy is just really really wanting
to be with somebody and he's getting manipulated, not necessarily
she's exploiting or he is exploiting that person's sexual desire
or whatever you want to call it sex addiction to
get money out of them. So that is the dark
(15:56):
side of it. How you can protect yourself from that
is just learn from self control. I guess if they
know that somebody has already had a history of sexual abuse. Like,
let's say you hear about a girl that are you
hear about a girl that.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Just she's easy?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Man, Just go over there, be cool with her, do
this and that, and all of a sudden, you know,
you go, you start going over there and you see
that it's true. That's kind of part. That's part of
it as well. For real, all right, that's kind of
like exploiting somebody's traumatic so trauma, because odds are they
some of them haven't been sexually abused. That's really just
(16:36):
what they do. And if it's somebody who's their age
and it's consensual, well, I'm just gonna be real about it.
Kids out here having sex somebody her age and she's
doing it, now, that's one thing, and they're being protected.
But if five or six guys coming there with alcohol
and they're like, hey, baby, what's up, let's go that's
not cool.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
That's not cool, all right, So the cycle goes.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Like after you've been hurt, sometimes our most likely people
still get hurt, and hurt people can hurt people. So
if a child's been assaulted, as soon as you get
an idea or you get as soon as you get
that ask the child about it, but don't take them
downstairs in the basement and they are asking when they're alone.
(17:29):
Don't be talking to them in no deep voice, you know,
if you got a lowyer tone, maybe squat down and
you know, tell them, like everything, you tell them everything
they tell you, You're gonna believe them. Just you know,
speak to us, or find somebody who you trust that
they're comfortable with talking to, because a lot of times
(17:52):
kids will feel really guilty about these things. They don't
understand why these things occur. And the one thing about
it is that it may have felt good. There's things
about sexual assault and abuse that people are like, well
you got raped at times that yeah, that it can
feel good, but you didn't want it. You don't have
(18:14):
If you've ever heard the situation where the girls like, yeah,
but I really didn't want to do it. Yeah it
was good, but I really just wasn't into it, didn't
want to do it. I just did it, or I
just fucked it because sorry, I just did it. I
gave her a D because she was asking I ain't
really want.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
To do it.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
That's kind of It's okay if they're doing it because
you want to do it. But if somebody's really not
wanting to have sex and you got to go so
hard to get them to do it, maybe that's a
sign you should just back off. But going back to
the kids' situation, definitely just try not to be intimidating
and just look for signs. If it was a very
(18:50):
outspoken child and all of a sudden they stopped being
so spoken, they get quiet and want to be to themselves,
and they stop caring about their hygiene and they then
in some cases, it could been somebody that wasn't so
outgoing and all of a sudden, it's changing how they dress.
They probably start dressing more provocatively and behaving different ways,
(19:12):
and coming home a little later and wanting to hang
out with different people.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Any sudden change in.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Behavior like that, especially if they're hurting themselves, this is.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
The dark side of it. This is the dark side
of it.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Like this, I'm doing this podcast and I'm bringing out
this information because these are things that you must know.
This is information that must be out there. I owe
it to you as a journals. This is the one
with the knowledge to it. I owe it to you
with the skills that I got. I got to be
(19:48):
serious about things and with this it ain't no games.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
It ain't.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
And with that being said, I think we might have
a part three where I just kind of sum it
all up and we give more into like how to heal,
how to see help, how to protect yourself more from it.
I think that's what I want to do with a
part three. And if I don't get enough in a
part three, we'll end it with a part four. But
(20:14):
tune in next Monday night at nine thirty for the show.
You know what, after nine o'clock, just plan for the
show to be on. But I'm telling y'all indefinitely, twenty
twenty six is gonna be own, baby and Shala. We
just gotta get the serious stuff out the way we do.
I can't just have a bunch of fun first. We
(20:35):
got to talk about the serious stuff. I got to
make you see how real this can be. All before
the end of twenty twenty four, we're gonna talk about
cities with the best, the worst, a STDs and STIs.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
We gonna go there, baby, Oh yeah, we gonna go there.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Tune in next week after nine o'clock PM, next Monday
after nine pm for another episode. We're gonna probably touch
that on part three, y'all. Yeah, we're probably gonna do that.
Another episode of How Does It Feel? The SEC The
Basic Adult Sex Education Podcast.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I'm trying to.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Do this right here, but anyway, tune in, like I said,
do y'all. If y'all got Instagram, check me out on Instagram.
IG Red Honah twenty twenty two. That's Red Hunnah twenty
twenty two. R E d h u n n A
(21:33):
twenty twenty two. That's r ed hu n n A
twenty twenty two. I'm also on Spotify. Uncle son Ali
that's Uncle U n c l E s O n
A l A. I'll be posting more, will you'll see.
(21:56):
I'm from the show Me State.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
But thanks for tuning in, y'all. Been a great ardience.
And that's it for the episode. This episode of How
Does It Feel? H
Testing, testing, testing, testing, you know, doing doing this what
we're doing, girl, it takes two.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It's not just a person. So I got a question,
how did you feel? Welcome?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. This is the how does It Feel? Podcast?
The Basic Sex adult education podcast and tonight and I
am Uncle Sonali the narrator. All right, Uncle Sonali the
(00:58):
host of the podcast. So last week we talked about
the dark side of sex, all right, and it got
really deep quick overview, a real quick overview, because I
did use AI for the last bit of research I
did the last episode the Dark.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Side of Sex. Now the dark side of sex? So
what were they saying?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
The dark side of sex refers to the potentially harmful, negative,
and unhealthy aspects of sexual behavior. This encompasses everything from nonconsensual,
non consensual acts and compulsive behaviors to damaging, emotional and
physical consequences.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
All right, So.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
What I grabbed a whole too in the research that
I did, the overall conclusion that I came to with
cycles reasons effects. All right, where am I going with this?
The dark side or sex? I would say that there
(02:11):
would be a victim second the dark side, and we
ain't putting color into it, but dark side usually means
something to do like dark psychology means you're using this
to cause harm, just like they said, are you're manipulating
somebody just for some type of game. So a person
that would do this would be a predator, correct, all right?
So a person who's thinking, let's put it like this,
(02:35):
there's a victim in there's a predator.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Why do people get caught? How does this?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
You know, I'm a strong willed person, I have family,
a support system. How could I ever be the victim
of sexual assault? Well, let's look at some statistics. What
are statistics about sexual assault? Every seventy four US seconds,
(03:02):
Every seventy four seconds, someone in the US is sexually assaulted.
Every nine minutes that someone as a child. Department of Justice,
Office of Justice Programs, Area of Justice Statistics, National Crime
Victimizations nineteen two.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Now that's old, right, But.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Fifty five point six percent of individuals and cases involving
travel for prohibited sexual contact for white sixty five sixty
What this was? Just the United States Sentencing Commission sixty
point five of individuals and cases involving criminal sex abuse. Right, Wow,
I was just floating down here, We're not even gonna
get into that right now. But some of the res
(03:49):
the sources that I got were like Robert Witty, PhD.
Psychology Today. I looked at thing as like casual sex.
Sex is pretty serious. It is serious. It ain't pretty serious.
And the whole point of this show is.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
To like.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Take responsibility for your sexual activity. We are so saturated
with like lust on as far as entertainment and how
to sell things that I think we have become frivolous
and just careless or if we've ever had a concern.
This is not like back in the days as aldom,
there's like straight diseases you can get from just coughing
(04:29):
on people. But I want people to understand how serious
sexual activity really is. I want you to really get
this that like consent is a big deal. That's why
the first episode was about consent. And people have to
be saying yes the whole time. That's why in certain
sex scenes you see people saying yes, yes, give it
to me, give it to me. You gotta communicate pretty
(04:51):
much that way through the whole thing, and there's gotta
be some form of understanding.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
And I think that.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Some people, and probably primarily it would probably be men.
Since men are in the leading position, that would probably
be the leading STA statistic. If there's a lack of communication,
that's probably why there can be victims. Or you know,
when somebody can't get what they want, that's when the
problem comes. So when you can't get what you want,
(05:19):
or somebody wants to stop while you're having sex, let's
put it like that.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
If she's saying stop or he's saying stop.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
And you want to keep going, yeah, you're breaking aloft,
you keep going, you feel me.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
But some people they don't.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
They already know they let's see, they're intelligent enough to
know that there could be blocks, something's gonna stop me,
or they just don't care about the law, you know.
So what they do is they go and find people
who they can manipulate to get what they want out
of them. But in this case, it's not money, it's
(05:53):
not necessarily attention. They want sex. So like a predator
will probably let's say an adult, this was what it
is when they had at one point in time. Last Monday,
when I was talking about how people can be victimized,
there's you know, even the strong people. There are certain
(06:16):
points in time in your life where you let your
guard down, and people can just come in and manipulate,
such as like the age of seven to twelve, especially
when you're like first starting school. You're going you're because
the kids are being handled by so many different people
and there's no telling who's touching them or who's around them.
You see what I'm saying. And then there's like thirteen
(06:36):
to what nineteen. You're always around if you're outside of
your home, and it can happen to your home, but
if it's not happening in your home.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You go to school and.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
You're around all kinds of different people, and there's no
telling what type of urges these people have or what
they're willing.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
To do to get what they want. But let me
look at what I wrote down.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Psychology that what they say, Well, okay, this was about
casual sex, because remember I was saying, we just are
frivolous about sex because we see and there's no I
like it. I like watching I like looking at beautiful women,
I really do. But I also have to keep in
(07:21):
mind that it's just entertainment.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
And I know that.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
It seems that media movies have always portrayed the male
to like go out there and get the girl, have sex,
and get as you.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Know, made as much as possible.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
All right, But this is saying when it comes to
casual sex, those who are committed relationships show similar levels
of psychological well being.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Has those who like.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Casual you know, those who those okay, basically people in
committed relationships and people who who have casual sex. They
seem to have similar levels of psychological well being, meaning
they seem all right. But in contrast of casual sex
is associated with worse mental health, meaning a lot of
people who have like bad men's health usually have.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Casual sex.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Reported those who engage in casual sex have decreased sense
of well being, self esteem, life satisfaction. They're often they're
distressed and have depression. I guess because you kind of
lower your standard. Think when you have standards and you
guard that that will your value is up. But hold on,
(08:44):
Men are more likely to report that casual sex is positive,
you know, emotional. They usually have better because women, I think,
have to have attachments when they have sex and men
can mainly just go out there and do it. But
here's the thing we've also sei I mean today that
there are men that like to express their emotions and
they're getting teased for that, they're getting made fun of
(09:05):
for that. But could it be that because we're trying
to be on the John Wayne stuff, we tend to equate.
Let's have sex when we feel a certain way to
improve our dominance, as opposed to having sex with this
person because we want to make each other feel good.
I mean, yeah, I want you to have my baby
because maybe some guys want the trophy wife and they
just want this woman to have their baby because they
(09:27):
want their baby to look a certain way.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
It's a very psychological thing, this thing we call sex
and love. It's something that they say can happen over time.
It's a condition, a feeling. I don't know, but they
say people can fall in love and fall out of love.
People can have sex and make a baby without being
(09:51):
in love. What I'm trying to get you to understand
is that sex has impacted It's powerful.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
All right.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
And that information came from Rob Witty, PhD. Talking about men.
It's three years old, though it's five years old. Actually
came out in twenty twenty, but it's from psychology today.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Let's see here and then when we talk about like.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Actaica Psychological What was this? April twenty twenty third manipulation
nine J Wise Expectation and Sexual Abuse.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Nan J. Wise is a PhD.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
You know, we'd like to think this was the myth
that this article wanted people to stop thinking that you
can't be a victim, that it can't happen, because it
can happen in time of distress. It can happen to
people who are perfectionist, especially if they joined certain groups.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Like let's say there's cult members out there.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
That know how to manipulate people who are workaholics, and
then they know how to abuse.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Now, this is the dark side of sex.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
So if you feel somewhat oh, this is just because
it's non consensual. Usually it's coherced. It's a manipulation. It's
not consensual. It's not like, oh I love you, we're together. No, No,
I'm not into magic. I don't do magic. But this
definitely ain't the Harry Potter siety. This is Valdemore, all right.
(11:33):
This is definitely the dark side of sex.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
It's like when Dracul little bites and femails and make
her do what wants her to do. There's deeper meanings
through that.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
So her example was the cult leaders, right, And since
we were on the subject the cult leaders, let's just
say that the colt leaders tend to go after the
brightest and the best.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Sound familiar.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
They usually go after the brightest and the bet cause
why not, uh, depression and being in traditional periods.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Now, that was exactly where I wanted to get to.
Its traditional.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Or even people like your boy here succeptable to being
hit by predator. I know some people out there although
it can never happen to me, never could happen to me.
Statistically it can, but let's hope that it don't. And
for some people in certain situations, it just won't. Cause
some predators are only gonna go after those who are
(12:42):
silent and they're loud. But this said, they also go
after the brightest and the best. Hence football coaches that
have touched the football players and he didn't want to
say anything cause it was his football coach or his
wrestling coach.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yeah, look it up, all right, So.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
These things can make us all succeptable to being manipulated.
They have high The high risk zone is the first
few months of college. They say, the high rids zone
is like the first few months of school, when schools,
the school year is starting. I would say that that
makes sense. When you're enrolling kids in school and it's
(13:31):
the beginning and it's so much going on and nobody's
paying attention, that's usually all can slip through the crack shit.
It happens that fast. Think about it. These are sexual offenses.
So if somebody with stealing, they have to do with
what when your.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Back is turned.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
If they did it in front of you, they still
have to disguise you with a smile. Instead of stealing
the merchandise are item from you, they're taking something up
away from you that they definitely can't give back. So
they have to do it when someone's not watching. Well,
how do you touch somebody and they're not watching. Well,
(14:06):
if it's somebody who doesn't know any better and their
guardian isn't watching, that's the way to do it.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That's the offense.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
The person is too young to say no, don't do it,
that's the offense.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
That's the crime.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
So, like I said, once again, this is definitely the
dark side of it.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
DNC Harry Potter right now all the time, all right,
So they got the age is seven to.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Thirteen twelve to seventeen because of the increased access.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
You know, this is a high risk.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
These are high risk zones, high risk for sexual abuse,
plain and simple, Plain and simple high risk for sexual abuse.
Also religion, that's what they said. I remember them saying,
the traditional traditional periods can be your religion manipulating people.
(15:13):
Like let's say you're telling them they can get to
heaven if she has sex with you. Are you telling
them that it's okay you marry an underage girl, telling
her it's okay because you use a verse out the Bible,
or are you use something that's from their religion to
tell to justify the action that you're doing. People who
are elderly they get took advantage of. Are somebody who's
(15:36):
just really lonely. A guy is just really really wanting
to be with somebody and he's getting manipulated, not necessarily
she's exploiting or he is exploiting that person's sexual desire
or whatever you want to call it sex addiction to
get money out of them. So that is the dark
(15:56):
side of it. How you can protect yourself from that
is just learn from self control. I guess if they
know that somebody has already had a history of sexual abuse. Like,
let's say you hear about a girl that are you
hear about a girl that.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Just she's easy?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Man, Just go over there, be cool with her, do
this and that, and all of a sudden, you know,
you go, you start going over there and you see
that it's true. That's kind of part. That's part of
it as well. For real, all right, that's kind of
like exploiting somebody's traumatic so trauma, because odds are they
some of them haven't been sexually abused. That's really just
(16:36):
what they do. And if it's somebody who's their age
and it's consensual, well, I'm just gonna be real about it.
Kids out here having sex somebody her age and she's
doing it, now, that's one thing, and they're being protected.
But if five or six guys coming there with alcohol
and they're like, hey, baby, what's up, let's go that's
not cool.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
That's not cool, all right, So the cycle goes.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Like after you've been hurt, sometimes our most likely people
still get hurt, and hurt people can hurt people. So
if a child's been assaulted, as soon as you get
an idea or you get as soon as you get
that ask the child about it, but don't take them
downstairs in the basement and they are asking when they're alone.
(17:29):
Don't be talking to them in no deep voice, you know,
if you got a lowyer tone, maybe squat down and
you know, tell them, like everything, you tell them everything
they tell you, You're gonna believe them. Just you know,
speak to us, or find somebody who you trust that
they're comfortable with talking to, because a lot of times
(17:52):
kids will feel really guilty about these things. They don't
understand why these things occur. And the one thing about
it is that it may have felt good. There's things
about sexual assault and abuse that people are like, well
you got raped at times that yeah, that it can
feel good, but you didn't want it. You don't have
(18:14):
If you've ever heard the situation where the girls like, yeah,
but I really didn't want to do it. Yeah it
was good, but I really just wasn't into it, didn't
want to do it. I just did it, or I
just fucked it because sorry, I just did it. I
gave her a D because she was asking I ain't
really want.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
To do it.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
That's kind of It's okay if they're doing it because
you want to do it. But if somebody's really not
wanting to have sex and you got to go so
hard to get them to do it, maybe that's a
sign you should just back off. But going back to
the kids' situation, definitely just try not to be intimidating
and just look for signs. If it was a very
(18:50):
outspoken child and all of a sudden they stopped being
so spoken, they get quiet and want to be to themselves,
and they stop caring about their hygiene and they then
in some cases, it could been somebody that wasn't so
outgoing and all of a sudden, it's changing how they dress.
They probably start dressing more provocatively and behaving different ways,
(19:12):
and coming home a little later and wanting to hang
out with different people.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Any sudden change in.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Behavior like that, especially if they're hurting themselves, this is.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
The dark side of it. This is the dark side
of it.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Like this, I'm doing this podcast and I'm bringing out
this information because these are things that you must know.
This is information that must be out there. I owe
it to you as a journals. This is the one
with the knowledge to it. I owe it to you
with the skills that I got. I got to be
(19:48):
serious about things and with this it ain't no games.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
It ain't.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
And with that being said, I think we might have
a part three where I just kind of sum it
all up and we give more into like how to heal,
how to see help, how to protect yourself more from it.
I think that's what I want to do with a
part three. And if I don't get enough in a
part three, we'll end it with a part four. But
(20:14):
tune in next Monday night at nine thirty for the show.
You know what, after nine o'clock, just plan for the
show to be on. But I'm telling y'all indefinitely, twenty
twenty six is gonna be own, baby and Shala. We
just gotta get the serious stuff out the way we do.
I can't just have a bunch of fun first. We
(20:35):
got to talk about the serious stuff. I got to
make you see how real this can be. All before
the end of twenty twenty four, we're gonna talk about
cities with the best, the worst, a STDs and STIs.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
We gonna go there, baby, Oh yeah, we gonna go there.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Tune in next week after nine o'clock PM, next Monday
after nine pm for another episode. We're gonna probably touch
that on part three, y'all. Yeah, we're probably gonna do that.
Another episode of How Does It Feel? The SEC The
Basic Adult Sex Education Podcast.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I'm trying to.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Do this right here, but anyway, tune in, like I said,
do y'all. If y'all got Instagram, check me out on Instagram.
IG Red Honah twenty twenty two. That's Red Hunnah twenty
twenty two. R E d h u n n A
(21:33):
twenty twenty two. That's r ed hu n n A
twenty twenty two. I'm also on Spotify. Uncle son Ali
that's Uncle U n c l E s O n
A l A. I'll be posting more, will you'll see.
(21:56):
I'm from the show Me State.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
But thanks for tuning in, y'all. Been a great ardience.
And that's it for the episode. This episode of How
Does It Feel? H
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