July 5, 2023 • 33 mins
Byron Lane’s love affair with words is far from languishing. Winning two regional Emmy Awards for his time as a TV journalist, he went on to write for and appear on the stage and screen. Remember the odd but highly successful stage piece Tilda Swinton Answers an Ad on Craigslist? That was from his mind. Three years ago, he made the leap into novel writing with A Star is Bored, a fictional homage to his time working for Carrie Fisher, a master of words herself. The book barely hit the shelves as it was scooped up by critics and readers alike. It was a smashing success. It made the top book lists for People, Town & Country, Harper’s Bazaar, Parade Magazine, New York Times Review, USA Today, and the NY Post, with the list going on and on – not to mention the social media frenzy it stirred with celebs from the LGBTQ world and beyond touting his book. We had the honor of chatting with him as his debut novel was released. That’s when we fell in love with the man behind the keyboard. Unassuming and soft-spoken, he is a force of optimistic and infectious energy. He is what his books promote – sincere love and affection. He somehow turns the conversation around, asking how you are and what you are going through to the point you don’t know if the conversation will result in laughs or tears with it most times having a bit of both.
This summer, he’s back with his sophomore novel, Big Gay Wedding: A Novel. Already a hit lauded literally everywhere, it centers on a gay man’s journey back to his small-town home – with whom he visits with his fiancé. The two decide to get married on his childhood farm, despite the pushback from conservative townsfolk and gasp! even his own mother. The book is beautifully written, and it is not only very funny, but also deeply emotional as it focuses on getting older, unconditional love, and even grief.
In this episode, we talk about his new book, married life, how he captures his characters so well, the balance of comedy in drama (even in real life), dealing with cancer, noticing the beauty in everything, dealing with loss, forgiving those who don’t accept us, the need to be super gay, building bridges with “the other side,” what’s up ahead for Byron, his Pride message to the community, and more! Hosted by Alexander Rodriguez.
You can catch our in-depth conversation with Byron in the Pride issue of Metrosource, now on newsstands or at Metrosource.com. Follow everything Byron at ByronLane.com.
This summer, he’s back with his sophomore novel, Big Gay Wedding: A Novel. Already a hit lauded literally everywhere, it centers on a gay man’s journey back to his small-town home – with whom he visits with his fiancé. The two decide to get married on his childhood farm, despite the pushback from conservative townsfolk and gasp! even his own mother. The book is beautifully written, and it is not only very funny, but also deeply emotional as it focuses on getting older, unconditional love, and even grief.
In this episode, we talk about his new book, married life, how he captures his characters so well, the balance of comedy in drama (even in real life), dealing with cancer, noticing the beauty in everything, dealing with loss, forgiving those who don’t accept us, the need to be super gay, building bridges with “the other side,” what’s up ahead for Byron, his Pride message to the community, and more! Hosted by Alexander Rodriguez.
You can catch our in-depth conversation with Byron in the Pride issue of Metrosource, now on newsstands or at Metrosource.com. Follow everything Byron at ByronLane.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
This is Metrosource minis the official podcastto metro Source magazine and home of short
form interviews with your favorite personalities fromthe LGBTQ world and beyond. Quick,
fun and informative. It's Metrosource onthe go, out in proud since nineteen
ninety. This is metro Source Minnis. I'm your host Alexander Rodriguez, writer
(00:28):
for Metro Source and Queen of thepodcast. Byron Lane's Love Affair with Words
is far from languishing, winning twoRegional Emmy Awards for his time as a
TV journalist. He went on towrite for and appear on the stage and
screen. Remember the odd but highlysuccessful stage piece Tilda Switten Answers an ad
on Craigslist that was from his mind. Three years ago. He made the
leap into novel writing with a Staris Board, a fictional homage to his
(00:50):
time working for Carrie Fisher, amaster of words herself. Of course,
the book barely hit the shelves asit was scooped up by critics and readers
alike. It was a smashing success. It made the top book list for
People, Town and Country, Harper'sBazaar, Parade Magazine, New York Times
Review, USA Today and The NewYork Post, with the list going on
and on, not to mention thesocial media frenzy at Stirred was celebs from
(01:11):
the LGBTQ world and beyond touting hisbook. We had the honor of chatting
with him as his debut novel wasreleased. That's when we fell in love
with the man behind the keyboard.Unassuming and soft spoken, he is a
force of optimistic and infectious energy.He is what his books promote since here
love and affection, and he somehowturns the conversation around every time you chat
with him, asking how you areand what you are going through, to
(01:34):
the point you don't know if theconversation will result in laughs or tears,
with most times having a bit ofboth. This summer, he's back with
his sophomore novel, A Big GayWedding, already a hit louded literally everywhere.
It centers on a gay man's journeyback to his small town home with
whom he visits with his fiance.The two decide to get married on his
childhood farm, despite the pushback fromconservative townsfolk and gasp, even his own
(01:57):
mother. The book is beautifully written, and it is not only very funny,
but also deeply emotional as it focuseson getting older, unconditional love,
and even grief. Check out mycatchup contact with Byron as we talk about
well almost everything. Okay, So, A Star's Board such a big hit
(02:19):
and continues to be a big hit. Why do you think audiences and critics
responded so well to that book?A Star's Board I think just hit the
central line that we all want totug on when we're engaging in entertainment,
and that's humor and heart. Andof course there was the personal element where
(02:39):
it was inspired by my time workingwith Carry Fisher, and I think that
adds a whole layer of truth tosome of these emotional elements that we're getting
involved in with that book. SoI think I think that's part of why
people responded so well. And youknow, I think a lot also had
to do. You know, weread tell all books and there's always that
(03:00):
sense of capitalizing on somebody's life oryou know, trying to evolved secrets just
to create controversy. And you know, that book was literally like a loving
homage. There wasn't that aspect toit at all, which I think is
very unique on the market in today'sBravo TV and today's trying to be the
headlines and all of that. Youknow, that was quite a step away
(03:22):
from the kind of you know,behind the scenes of Hollywood that we've seen,
and I think that will do withit too. It was it was
a love homage. Your next book, Big Gay Wedding just released, but
it had months before it even cameout as one of the most anticipated,
one of the best reads, etcetera, etcetera. Twenty twenty three, but
(03:43):
Let's Spell the tea first book,great success. How nervous were you sitting
to write your follow up with thatkind of pressure? Did you psych yourself
out? How did you work throughthat? Oh, it's always a nightmare.
Every every The process of writing anythingfor me always has been scary,
from the plays and the web seriesstuff, the first book and then the
(04:05):
second book. And I think,really I was lucky that I had an
editor who was very encouraging and mypartner, Stephen Rowley, and I had
just gotten married and we had avery small gay wedding and I remember talking
to my editor, James Malia,about what should the next book be,
you know, and we tossed aroundsome ideas, and he pointed out,
(04:27):
you know, you just had alittle gay wedding, and do you have
any ideas for a book about maybea big gay wedding? And I thought,
all right, well, what wouldthat look like in the world,
and what would that look like inmy world of this guy from Louisiana.
I'm you know, I'm a Southernguy and conservative background, religious background,
And what happened if what would havehappened if I would have brought the big
(04:47):
gay marriage to the South. Andso that's where the idea came from.
Absolutely love it. In today's climate, with the attack on our LGBTQ community
politically and socially speaking, did youthink it was wise to make the book
so blatantly gay, titled literally inbig font big Gay Wedding. I think
(05:10):
it is not just wise, butI think it's important. I hope people
think that it's brave in some way. And now is the time to be
brave. Now is the time torefuse to be eradicated from public life,
in public space. If pride evermeant anything, it must mean everything now
(05:32):
now now really is the time forpride. And you know, I'm going
to be forty five soon, andpride has always been for me evolving you
know there. It really started forme way back in two thousand and eight
with the gay marriage stuff and theProp eight stuff, very early on,
(05:53):
and it's now at this age,I look around them, I see the
horrible things that are happening with ourtrans brothers ands and our non binary friends,
and it really is it really istime to be proud, to show
our pride and to be loud.And if having a title big gay wedding
with a couple of guys holding handsin a bookstore can be any kind of
(06:17):
flag for that, I'm here forit. Now. You and I can
feel that we are part of thecommunity. We've certainly seen ourselves and our
friends affected by this kind of waron the community. But you also have
a publisher, you also have anagent, you also have a pr rep.
Did you ever get any push back, like, hey, maybe we
should adjust this a little bit toget more sales. No, I'm really
(06:39):
lucky I have. My team hasbeen so supportive. The publisher is amazing.
I get emails calls from from thetop people there, and my editor
of course, James Milia, hasbeen incredibly supportive, and the whole team.
I just got a note from thepublicist at Henry Holt, who was
saying, uh, you know,I don't think I mentioned this to you,
(07:00):
but this book is so beautiful.She had just gotten a copy of
the book from the printer for thefirst time. And so all these things
just made me feel so good.Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm
in a little bit of a bubble. You know. I live out in
Palm Springs. I'm a hop,skip and a jump away from la.
You know, frequently in New York, I'm surrounded by gay people and gay
(07:21):
spaces, and sometimes I have toremind myself, Wow, there are people
out there who are trying to shutit all down, to eradicate gay people
from public life. It is alarmingand crazy. And I think you detail
in the book, you know,there's circumstances that happen. I'm not going
to give anything away because everybody hasto read it. There are circumstances that
(07:41):
pop up and kind of try toruin the beautiful picture that you have,
and that's just such a reminder ofthat is what's going on, from your
neighbor, to people from your past, even your own family. You know,
sometimes we do get a little safeand if you know, all of
the shootings, all of the violencewith our community is not reminder of that.
We also have to remember our LGBTQbrothers and sisters that are in towns
(08:05):
like that, that they're not supported. And so a book like this or
anything that we can do to tellour story and inspire other people to be
courageous enough to live their life.You know, kudos to you, Kudos
to you for using your platform.And I have to tell you, Big
Gay Wedding has the same heart andcharm that we experienced in A Star's Board,
like it has your texture, butthe experience is completely different. The
(08:30):
storytelling obviously is completely different. Whatdo you think this book captures the most
in terms of your growth as afiction writer. Well, it is told
from a different point of view.So A Star's Board was first person,
so you're you were really in thehead of the main character there, Charlie
as he went through this journey dealingwith his movie star boss whose name was
(08:52):
Kathy. And in Big Gay Wedding, it's not first person. We go
into the minds of all the characters, and I think that adds this layer
of I hope it shows some growthon my part in an ability to round
out these stories. So a motherwho is desperate to connect with her son,
(09:16):
and this mother who has to experienceher own sort of coming out as
being supportive of a gay son,and the gay son who has to wrangle
his maybe impatience and maybe frustration witha mom who's moving a little bit too
slow and coming to acceptance. Anda grandfather who in the book is named
(09:37):
Papa. In real life, Idid have a papa and a mama,
and Papa in the book is thisolder guy who lives in a nursing home
who's forced to watch Glee and hashad his own evolution on what gay life
means and that it's acceptable and lovingand who cares and for him to bring
that to the table. So you'vegot all these rich characters, and I'm
(09:58):
great fool that I'm able to exploreeach one so in depth. Well,
let's talk about your characters. Youhave this talent, like Stephen King does,
of capturing characters essence so quickly andtotally that the readers know exactly who
this person is in an instant whetherand like I always pray Stephen King from
(10:18):
this whether he's writing from a femaleperspective or a male perspective, a gay
man's perspective, he just seems toget it. And that's what I got
from all of these characters. AndI don't think you can learn that talent.
What is your creative process in creatingthese characters? Are you storyboarding them?
Are you just studying people in reallife being nosy? How do you
(10:39):
paint these characters so well? Gosh? Well, I don't want to give
myself too much credits. Sometimes editor'shelp in crafting and say, oh,
this person would never say that.But in general, I think being gay
has helped me with characters because I'vehad to growing up protect myself constantly,
(11:03):
and so sometimes I feel like I'ma little bit of a you know,
maybe a scared puppy or something whereyou have to just be on alert and
know like, okay, this,these are some bad vibes. This person
doesn't have my best interest in heart. Even growing up with strict parents having
to I don't want to step ondad's toes? Did mom have a good
(11:24):
day today? And I think alot of gay people can relate to that.
Is my teacher making fun of me? Or is she being supportive,
you know, cannot you know,riding the bus to school, guys in
the backwood shootspitballs at me, andI remember so vividly looking at the driver.
I could see him in the rearview mirror. He had dark sunglasses
on, so I never knew ifhe was really looking back or and wondering
(11:48):
like, why doesn't he help me? Why doesn't he protect me? So
I think some of what I canbring to writing is a little bit of
that hypersensitivity and an ability to kindof craft these people because I've met these
people. The book, hands down, is hilarious, literally laughed out loud,
I cheered. But there's also thisdarkness, and I don't mean darkness
(12:11):
in a bad way, but there'sthis heaviness with themes of life and death.
How do you How did you balancethe comedy with the drama of it
to make this cohesive peace? Gosh, it's so interesting because I think all
the time about the duality of thecomedy and drama, and then sometimes I'm
snapped into the space where I think, wait a minute, is it really
(12:33):
just one thing? Is it reallyjust one experience that we're all having?
And when I worked for Carrie.She she always talked about taking your broken
heart and making art. She alwaystalked about finding the humor in a bad
situation, because then what's the pointof the situation, you know, like,
no one wants to live in aworld where everything is just bad.
(12:56):
And I do notice that when Iif I can slow down for a second,
if I can open my eyes alittle bit wider, if I can
see a bigger picture, often terriblethings do have these moments of humor,
and they can be it can bringlevity, it can bring inspiration, they
can be moments of growth and healing. So to me, it really is
(13:16):
just so important to acknowledge that itis a you know, they are so
connected drama and comedy. That wasbeautifully said. I have to tell you
because of my own personal experiences,I'm going through, the themes of life
and death and what kind of lifewe've lived hit me so hard. I
(13:37):
found myself in tears many many times. But it was always this kind of
like uplifting cry. I don't reallyknow how to explain it. You've had
your own breash with fatality. IfI'm dealing with cancer personally, kind of
having that voiced on you as sucha young person. Also, of course
we anybody who follows you on socialmedia knows, you know, losing your
adorable, beautiful dog, which notgiving something away, but like it's a
(14:01):
big part of big a wedding isthis connection with animals. Can you share
with us about what you've learned aboutlife and death and how it affects your
daily life. M I think that, gosh, it's such a big question.
Well, so I had cancer intwenty fifteen and they said, well,
(14:26):
testiculo cancer is easy to treat,no big deal, just relax,
and I was like, all right. Then it came back in twenty twenty,
had to have chemo, and sosuddenly I'm like, well, wait
a minute, can I come backagain? And they're like, oh,
goods are so low, And I'mlike, but you know what, I've
heard that before, and and Ido need to point out that I know
(14:48):
that testicular cancer is statistically is survivable, you catch it early, that that
kind of thing very different from othersthat are much more brutal. But nevertheless,
you do think about mortality. SoI'm sitting there getting chemo and I'm
looking around me at these mostly elderlypeople who are getting these infusions and crying
out in pain, and and youcan't help but think like, wow,
(15:15):
we're all kind of fragile here.And so there's a part of it that
makes you think I need to livein the moment. I need to embrace
the present. This is really important. And then here's where it gets a
little bit crazy. Once I startedthinking like that, suddenly the present seemed
really beautiful, even while I wasgetting chemo. So even in the cancer,
(15:37):
even in the thick of all that, one thing I remember so vividly
is this. There was this thisold lady getting getting her chemo, this
gray hair, old old lady,and she would pass the time by knitting,
always knitting, always knitting, andwe were always freezing cold. They
kept the room cold, the medicineswere cold. Everyone was freezing all the
time. So she was knitting,knitting scarves and all the And one day
(15:58):
she came up to me and shesaid, Hey, do you like a
color? And I thought, ohGod, is this going to be some
kind of gay thing that's about tohappen? And uh and I said,
yeah, sure, I think so. She's like you like rainbows? And
I was like, oh yeah,uh huh, And She's like, oh,
I knitted this for you, Andshe pulls out of her bag a
(16:21):
rainbow knitted cap and gave that tome and talked to me about her daughter
and her life and all this thesebeautiful things. It was just such a
beautiful moment, and so thinking aboutdeath and sometimes getting lost in that sadness
made me focus on the present.And then once you start focusing on the
present, I started realizing, Ohmy god, there are so many beautiful
moments even here too. And thatwas a really that was a that was
(16:45):
a great gift. And I hopethat in my writing and in my work
I'm able to bring those little momentsof levity, those those great lessons about
the joy of this existence to thepage. You certainly do that. I
have to tell you, friend,I love you again. I'm not going
to spoil anything. But there's thisidea of heaven, there's this idea of
(17:07):
this afterlife. What is your personaltake on life after death or spirituality or
you know that it's such a bigtheme in the book. No matter where
you come from, it's beautifully sharedin the book. So what is your
personal take on that? Well,you know, if you looked at my
TikTok feed. The answer is there. I keep getting all these things from
(17:30):
there are so many like atheists.I'll have these great debate clips from like
Stephen Fry and other great, greatpeople who speak so Ricky Gervais, who
speaks so eloquently about is there nothingness? Is there meaningless and all like?
And I struggle with that stuff too, because I really do want to be
live in the what some people sayis sort of a woo woo type world.
(17:53):
But the reality is no one knows, and lots of people, lots
of people will say, oh,I know, but no one does.
And I think that that's in someways the gift is that we're part of
something. We're all connected. Thatpart is undeniable. We share water,
(18:17):
we share sky, we share air, like the connection is undeniable. But
we just get a little piece ofthe puzzle. And so I try to
just focus on my piece of thepuzzle. How does this, how does
this fit into everything? And amI am I doing? Am I doing
my job fitting in bringing you know, writing this story about about this gay
(18:38):
couple trying to get gay married inthe South? Am I doing my am
I paying respect to my puzzle pieceby writing a book about how I was
inspired by working with Carrie Fisher,you know, et cetera, et cetera.
So I just look at it thatway. I don't know, but
I just try to do to domy part. And there's another thing that
(19:00):
helps that I learned from this selfhelp lady, And she's often asked the
question who would I be? Withoutthat thought, like what would my life
look like if I wasn't thinking aboutbecause I can also get in the habit
of overthinking about life and death whatdoes it mean? And so I asked
myself, who would I be rightnow walking the dogs if I wasn't having
(19:22):
the thought what does this mean?And I would be a person who is
enjoying a breeze, who is enjoyingthe sun on my skin, who's looking
at a beautiful sky. One timeI asked myself that question and I smelled
fresh baked cookies. I was like, oh my god. If I wouldn't
have asked myself, who would Ibe without all these thoughts of worry or
these thoughts of trying to figure itout? I would have not realized that
(19:47):
there's someone's baking cookies. This smellsfucking amazing, So anyway. I'm I'm
I think just like every other humantrying to be like, what the heck
does all this mean? But ifI take myself out of that for a
second and just say, well,I can't know, I'm not supposed to
know, And then what is there? There's this shirt is soft? You
know what I mean. I'm notfreezing cold, I'm not burning hot.
(20:11):
There can be just loveliness. Ohmy god, this is the longest rambling
answer. No, No, Ilove it. I tell you story of
my life. I'm always smelling abaked cookie somewhere. Yes, yes,
it's a message. It's a message. No, No, my sleppants are
like no more. Love takes somany forms in your book, love from
(20:36):
family, love from a partner,love of family, animals, love of
people from a past, and unconditionallove takes center stage in this book and
how that can evolve and grow.Many of our LGBTQ community don't experience this
kind of unconditional love in their household, being accepted for who they are.
(20:56):
Kind of going through this evolution withthe characters in your book. What is
your advice to those that don't feelthat kind of love from their own family?
Oh, my gosh, it reallybreaks my heart. And it reminds
me of growing up. My dadwas really strict, and I always wanted
(21:17):
to please him. And I sometimesthink of that thing where if you could
go back and tell your younger selfsomething, I think I would go back
and tell my younger self, Hey, you will never make him happy.
You will never make him happy.This thing they call unconditional love, you
will never get that from him.So just put that, put that on
(21:40):
the burner, and live your life, do your best, be a good
person. And and when I thinkabout what that would have given younger Byron,
I think it would have given hima little bit more freedom. And
so sometimes that's just part of it. There are people who just aren't gonna
(22:00):
love and it sucks and it's awful. And you know, we don't have
to reinvent the wheel here, wecan. We can look at the cliches.
It gets better, that's true,it'll get better. And love yourself
another cliche that is really true butreally important. That's where that's where to
(22:22):
look. And so sometimes the thingthat hurt the most was like, I
can't figure out how to get thisguy to just accept this whole me.
But maybe that was the wrong forme as a kid, maybe that was
that was the wrong desire. Andreally, if someone would have said,
there are some people who you cannever make happy, who will never be
(22:45):
pleased, and that doesn't mean thatas as an adult, I don't believe
in fighting for our rights, forthe protests that are necessary, for the
speaking out, for saying like,hey, you know, we live in
a society. You have to sharespace. There's we're connected. There's no
cutting people out of public life.There's no you know, doing that is
(23:07):
cutting people out of life period,and that's that's not what we're here to
do. So I don't know.Again, I gotta get used to a
friend. I gotta get used togiving you a sound bye. These are
such rambling things, but no,because these are the thoughts that we're having,
you know, these are the thoughtsthat affect us every single day,
especially with all the changes that aregoing on, and our younger generation are
(23:27):
being so empowered so early on.I don't think they're stuck with the same
heaviness that we were raised with.It's like, you know, parents have
to come first, family has tocome first, and now people are like,
my friends are my family. Idon't need people who don't accept me
in my life. So beautiful.Yeah, yeah, Okay, Levy Devy.
(23:47):
We know in your personal life youhave found love, marriage, the
whole thing with a fellow writer,I might add, so I can't even
imagine that dynamic at home. Whatare some of the biggest challenges though you
faced being an married relationship? Andany advice for newlyweds. The best advice
is the same advice that one alwaysgets and gives, and that's communication is
(24:11):
key. And I just feel solucky. Stephen is so amazing in all
the ways. And one of myfavorites is the communicating. I mean,
we fell in love in part becauseof his writing. We met on okay
Cupid when that was a big thingten years ago, and when my first
(24:33):
message and was like, oh mygod, you're so funny, what a
funny profile, what brilliant writing.And he's still liked that and still an
excellent communicator. And we just hada little thing recently where oh what did
I do? We were making thebed and I don't know something something,
and and afterwards I said, hey, I want to take a second and
(24:56):
apologize for getting kind of snippy withthe making of the bed and then he
goes, well, I want toapologize for my getting part of snippy with
them making the bed. And thenwe talked about whether that moment was about
us sharing our stresses or was thata moment about where where one of us
needed to be heard and who knows, but just that conversation create such intimacy.
(25:22):
And so that's my advice is communicate, communicate, and and not just
how was your day, but likewhat made you smile today, what made
you laugh, what made you sad? Like, let's get into it,
just nosy part of me. Didyou make your bed every day before you
were married? I still I stilldon't make the bed. I was actually
(25:45):
making the bed for a guest.We had some guests coming over. Steve
makes the bed, He's so wonderful, he does that. But we had
some guests coming in town, andso it was and it was unexpected,
and so we were making the bedtogether for them. That's funny. I
don't think I've made my bed sinceI was a freshman in high school.
But like, if I'm dating somebodyor whatever, then all of a sudden,
(26:07):
I'm a person who makes the bedevery day. I'm like that's not
who I Oh, listen, weall go through it. And when I
was single, I was like Igot rid of the top sheet because I
just like just pulling the confidor overwas enough for me. Lazy discussing single
guy. But listen where it's awhole new world now, yep, Okay,
(26:30):
some writ or advice. Many peopleput out content, write a book,
Some of them sit on the shelf. Some of them don't even get
published. Some become a hit,some become a movie, a TV series.
This is just your second novel andyou've already become a hit, critical
and audience favorite. What is thesecret to your success? Oh gosh,
I don't know that there's any Idon't know about any of that. I
(26:56):
still think that when people say Iloved your book, that they're being nice
to me. And I want anaward once for a web series, and
I thought the same thing, likewhy are they being so nice to me?
And my therapist was like, really, like do you think that they?
You know? But it's still hardto process that. And you know,
another thing I learned from Carrie Fisher, and maybe this is the most
(27:18):
important thing I learned, is thatthe success doesn't isn't really the purpose of
all of it. It won't makeyou happy. All the money in the
world won't make you happy. Thatcomes from, uh, you know,
other other things, mostly internal things, but it can come from the joy
you get from serving a community,being part of your family, the chosen
family you have around you, andall those those are still, at the
(27:41):
end of the day to me thehallmarks of real success. And there's a
there's a bit in a Star's Boardabout that where the character who's based on
me is imagining Madonna coming home atnight and having to like unlock her front
door. And I'm not sure ifMadonna does that anymore, but there.
(28:02):
But you know, these people welook up to, they still have to
come home and do these basic humanthings. Brush their teeth, brush their
teeth, eat something whatever. Sogood, Lord, I'm totally in the
weeds now. But but yeah,so I don't know if there's a secret
to success. The answer is tokeep going, keep following your heart,
(28:25):
say the things you want to say, and and don't let anything stop you.
Like there's a thing about like whatif you're one hundred what if you
need one hundred knows before you geta yes? So how many are you
at? Are you? Are youat fifty? News? Are you at
ninety eight? You just need threemore? Like keep going, keep going,
keep going. The audiobook of Biga Wedding is read by the fabulous
(28:48):
actor Noah Galvin Biel Galvin Well,I love Noah. He's such a cutie
and he's you know, he's sucha big part of our community. But
being in entertainment, we've seen youact, you have an amazing personality.
Why not Mary at the book yourself? Gosh? If I thought I could
do a better job than Noah,than I would. But the thing about
Noah is that he's not just abrilliant actor and person. He is also
(29:14):
he also represents something for me.And that is years and years and years
ago, before I had a Star'sBoard, I was listening to an audiobook
and the narrator was so great thatI thought to myself, if I ever
have an audiobook, I want thisguy to do it. And that guy
was Noah Galpant Wow. So whenthe Star's Board rolled around and they were
like, who do you want?I was like, can you see if
Noah Galpin's be able? And hesaid yes. And now he's kind of
(29:37):
you know, his career has justbeen blowing up, blowing up, blowing
up, And so then this camearound there like do you wanna have any
ideas you know? And I said, well, can you see if Noah
would be interested? And he saidyes, And I couldn't believe it,
but I feel so lucky. Andhe sent me in Instagram messages the other
day saying he was on day two. It's going great with a couple of
(29:57):
hearts, which to me is likechanges my life. So he's, uh,
if I could do better than him, maybe I would think about it,
but he's I feel so lucky tohave him. Okay, this is
so cliche, But what is nextfor you? Well, I'm kicking around
ideas. I'm trying to decide whatto do next. Is it Is it
going to be book three? Isit going to be book three and a
(30:21):
new Like I'm trying to adapt aStar's Board to TV. I'm working on
adapting Big Gay Wedding into a film. So it's it's all kinds of balls
in the air. I don't know, I don't know where they're gonna land.
I'm excited. And finally, whatis your message to the LGBTQ community
this Pride season, Smile baby,Smile baby, take that smile and bring
(30:45):
into the streets. Let's do it. Let's do this. This is the
time to be proud. This isthe time to really let it show.
I have my whole life struggled withthis idea of pride, and but it
really clicked for me when someone saidto me that pride is very simply the
opposite of shame and that it makesso much sense to me. Pride makes
(31:11):
so much sense to me when Ilook at it that way. We should
not be ashamed of any part ofour life, and we should not be
ashamed of any part of our community. And when I look at these parades
and I think of it through thatlens, I'm so damn proud. I'm
so proud of the beautiful people.I'm so proud of the beautiful communities.
I'm so proud of the different typesof people, the different types of lifestyles.
(31:34):
Like truly, there's nothing to beashamed of. And it just makes
me. I just I just think, put on that smile and get out
there and let's all do it together. Sorry, Boiled the Dogs. Rain
Drop is getting in on this she'sproud too. She's a proud dog.
Byron. Where can we find andfollow you my website Byron Lane dot com
(31:56):
or I'm on Instagram Byron Lane dotcom, Twitter Byron Lane. I don't
know all the usual places, butI'd love to see any of you there,
So hit me up and let's havea chat. Well, I didn't
know you're on TikTok, so I'mgonna go stock you right now. Yeah,
I'm on TikTok. I love itthere. I truly have an addiction.
Sometimes I get like arthritis from lookingat it too long. Oh you're
(32:17):
so funny. Thank you, thankyou, thank you so much for chatting
with me, and thank you forcontinuing, like I said, to use
your platform putting out beautiful material onbehalf of our community. It's really great
gay rights. Just say gay that'swild and say hi to Stephen for me.
I will, I will thank youfor this. That was Metrosource Minis.
You can catch my in depth conversationwith Byron in the Pride issue of
(32:39):
Metrosource now on newsstands, or atmetrosource dot com. Follow everything Byron at
Byron Lane dot com, and I'myour host. Alexander Rodriguez. You can
find me on Instagram at Alexander Ison air until next time, Stay true
and do you boot? That hasbeen another Metrosource Mini like, Share and
(33:02):
subscribe on your favorite podcast player andcheck out the latest issue of Metrosource magazine
on newsstands or online at metrosource dotcom. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram
at metrosource and on Twitter at metrosource. Match until next time, same passages,
This is Metrosource minis the official podcastto metro Source magazine and home of short
form interviews with your favorite personalities fromthe LGBTQ world and beyond. Quick,
fun and informative. It's Metrosource onthe go, out in proud since nineteen
ninety. This is metro Source Minnis. I'm your host Alexander Rodriguez, writer
(00:28):
for Metro Source and Queen of thepodcast. Byron Lane's Love Affair with Words
is far from languishing, winning twoRegional Emmy Awards for his time as a
TV journalist. He went on towrite for and appear on the stage and
screen. Remember the odd but highlysuccessful stage piece Tilda Switten Answers an ad
on Craigslist that was from his mind. Three years ago. He made the
leap into novel writing with a Staris Board, a fictional homage to his
(00:50):
time working for Carrie Fisher, amaster of words herself. Of course,
the book barely hit the shelves asit was scooped up by critics and readers
alike. It was a smashing success. It made the top book list for
People, Town and Country, Harper'sBazaar, Parade Magazine, New York Times
Review, USA Today and The NewYork Post, with the list going on
and on, not to mention thesocial media frenzy at Stirred was celebs from
(01:11):
the LGBTQ world and beyond touting hisbook. We had the honor of chatting
with him as his debut novel wasreleased. That's when we fell in love
with the man behind the keyboard.Unassuming and soft spoken, he is a
force of optimistic and infectious energy.He is what his books promote since here
love and affection, and he somehowturns the conversation around every time you chat
with him, asking how you areand what you are going through, to
(01:34):
the point you don't know if theconversation will result in laughs or tears,
with most times having a bit ofboth. This summer, he's back with
his sophomore novel, A Big GayWedding, already a hit louded literally everywhere.
It centers on a gay man's journeyback to his small town home with
whom he visits with his fiance.The two decide to get married on his
childhood farm, despite the pushback fromconservative townsfolk and gasp, even his own
(01:57):
mother. The book is beautifully written, and it is not only very funny,
but also deeply emotional as it focuseson getting older, unconditional love,
and even grief. Check out mycatchup contact with Byron as we talk about
well almost everything. Okay, So, A Star's Board such a big hit
(02:19):
and continues to be a big hit. Why do you think audiences and critics
responded so well to that book?A Star's Board I think just hit the
central line that we all want totug on when we're engaging in entertainment,
and that's humor and heart. Andof course there was the personal element where
(02:39):
it was inspired by my time workingwith Carry Fisher, and I think that
adds a whole layer of truth tosome of these emotional elements that we're getting
involved in with that book. SoI think I think that's part of why
people responded so well. And youknow, I think a lot also had
to do. You know, weread tell all books and there's always that
(03:00):
sense of capitalizing on somebody's life oryou know, trying to evolved secrets just
to create controversy. And you know, that book was literally like a loving
homage. There wasn't that aspect toit at all, which I think is
very unique on the market in today'sBravo TV and today's trying to be the
headlines and all of that. Youknow, that was quite a step away
(03:22):
from the kind of you know,behind the scenes of Hollywood that we've seen,
and I think that will do withit too. It was it was
a love homage. Your next book, Big Gay Wedding just released, but
it had months before it even cameout as one of the most anticipated,
one of the best reads, etcetera, etcetera. Twenty twenty three, but
(03:43):
Let's Spell the tea first book,great success. How nervous were you sitting
to write your follow up with thatkind of pressure? Did you psych yourself
out? How did you work throughthat? Oh, it's always a nightmare.
Every every The process of writing anythingfor me always has been scary,
from the plays and the web seriesstuff, the first book and then the
(04:05):
second book. And I think,really I was lucky that I had an
editor who was very encouraging and mypartner, Stephen Rowley, and I had
just gotten married and we had avery small gay wedding and I remember talking
to my editor, James Malia,about what should the next book be,
you know, and we tossed aroundsome ideas, and he pointed out,
(04:27):
you know, you just had alittle gay wedding, and do you have
any ideas for a book about maybea big gay wedding? And I thought,
all right, well, what wouldthat look like in the world,
and what would that look like inmy world of this guy from Louisiana.
I'm you know, I'm a Southernguy and conservative background, religious background,
And what happened if what would havehappened if I would have brought the big
(04:47):
gay marriage to the South. Andso that's where the idea came from.
Absolutely love it. In today's climate, with the attack on our LGBTQ community
politically and socially speaking, did youthink it was wise to make the book
so blatantly gay, titled literally inbig font big Gay Wedding. I think
(05:10):
it is not just wise, butI think it's important. I hope people
think that it's brave in some way. And now is the time to be
brave. Now is the time torefuse to be eradicated from public life,
in public space. If pride evermeant anything, it must mean everything now
(05:32):
now now really is the time forpride. And you know, I'm going
to be forty five soon, andpride has always been for me evolving you
know there. It really started forme way back in two thousand and eight
with the gay marriage stuff and theProp eight stuff, very early on,
(05:53):
and it's now at this age,I look around them, I see the
horrible things that are happening with ourtrans brothers ands and our non binary friends,
and it really is it really istime to be proud, to show
our pride and to be loud.And if having a title big gay wedding
with a couple of guys holding handsin a bookstore can be any kind of
(06:17):
flag for that, I'm here forit. Now. You and I can
feel that we are part of thecommunity. We've certainly seen ourselves and our
friends affected by this kind of waron the community. But you also have
a publisher, you also have anagent, you also have a pr rep.
Did you ever get any push back, like, hey, maybe we
should adjust this a little bit toget more sales. No, I'm really
(06:39):
lucky I have. My team hasbeen so supportive. The publisher is amazing.
I get emails calls from from thetop people there, and my editor
of course, James Milia, hasbeen incredibly supportive, and the whole team.
I just got a note from thepublicist at Henry Holt, who was
saying, uh, you know,I don't think I mentioned this to you,
(07:00):
but this book is so beautiful.She had just gotten a copy of
the book from the printer for thefirst time. And so all these things
just made me feel so good.Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm
in a little bit of a bubble. You know. I live out in
Palm Springs. I'm a hop,skip and a jump away from la.
You know, frequently in New York, I'm surrounded by gay people and gay
(07:21):
spaces, and sometimes I have toremind myself, Wow, there are people
out there who are trying to shutit all down, to eradicate gay people
from public life. It is alarmingand crazy. And I think you detail
in the book, you know,there's circumstances that happen. I'm not going
to give anything away because everybody hasto read it. There are circumstances that
(07:41):
pop up and kind of try toruin the beautiful picture that you have,
and that's just such a reminder ofthat is what's going on, from your
neighbor, to people from your past, even your own family. You know,
sometimes we do get a little safeand if you know, all of
the shootings, all of the violencewith our community is not reminder of that.
We also have to remember our LGBTQbrothers and sisters that are in towns
(08:05):
like that, that they're not supported. And so a book like this or
anything that we can do to tellour story and inspire other people to be
courageous enough to live their life.You know, kudos to you, Kudos
to you for using your platform.And I have to tell you, Big
Gay Wedding has the same heart andcharm that we experienced in A Star's Board,
like it has your texture, butthe experience is completely different. The
(08:30):
storytelling obviously is completely different. Whatdo you think this book captures the most
in terms of your growth as afiction writer. Well, it is told
from a different point of view.So A Star's Board was first person,
so you're you were really in thehead of the main character there, Charlie
as he went through this journey dealingwith his movie star boss whose name was
(08:52):
Kathy. And in Big Gay Wedding, it's not first person. We go
into the minds of all the characters, and I think that adds this layer
of I hope it shows some growthon my part in an ability to round
out these stories. So a motherwho is desperate to connect with her son,
(09:16):
and this mother who has to experienceher own sort of coming out as
being supportive of a gay son,and the gay son who has to wrangle
his maybe impatience and maybe frustration witha mom who's moving a little bit too
slow and coming to acceptance. Anda grandfather who in the book is named
(09:37):
Papa. In real life, Idid have a papa and a mama,
and Papa in the book is thisolder guy who lives in a nursing home
who's forced to watch Glee and hashad his own evolution on what gay life
means and that it's acceptable and lovingand who cares and for him to bring
that to the table. So you'vegot all these rich characters, and I'm
(09:58):
great fool that I'm able to exploreeach one so in depth. Well,
let's talk about your characters. Youhave this talent, like Stephen King does,
of capturing characters essence so quickly andtotally that the readers know exactly who
this person is in an instant whetherand like I always pray Stephen King from
(10:18):
this whether he's writing from a femaleperspective or a male perspective, a gay
man's perspective, he just seems toget it. And that's what I got
from all of these characters. AndI don't think you can learn that talent.
What is your creative process in creatingthese characters? Are you storyboarding them?
Are you just studying people in reallife being nosy? How do you
(10:39):
paint these characters so well? Gosh? Well, I don't want to give
myself too much credits. Sometimes editor'shelp in crafting and say, oh,
this person would never say that.But in general, I think being gay
has helped me with characters because I'vehad to growing up protect myself constantly,
(11:03):
and so sometimes I feel like I'ma little bit of a you know,
maybe a scared puppy or something whereyou have to just be on alert and
know like, okay, this,these are some bad vibes. This person
doesn't have my best interest in heart. Even growing up with strict parents having
to I don't want to step ondad's toes? Did mom have a good
(11:24):
day today? And I think alot of gay people can relate to that.
Is my teacher making fun of me? Or is she being supportive,
you know, cannot you know,riding the bus to school, guys in
the backwood shootspitballs at me, andI remember so vividly looking at the driver.
I could see him in the rearview mirror. He had dark sunglasses
on, so I never knew ifhe was really looking back or and wondering
(11:48):
like, why doesn't he help me? Why doesn't he protect me? So
I think some of what I canbring to writing is a little bit of
that hypersensitivity and an ability to kindof craft these people because I've met these
people. The book, hands down, is hilarious, literally laughed out loud,
I cheered. But there's also thisdarkness, and I don't mean darkness
(12:11):
in a bad way, but there'sthis heaviness with themes of life and death.
How do you How did you balancethe comedy with the drama of it
to make this cohesive peace? Gosh, it's so interesting because I think all
the time about the duality of thecomedy and drama, and then sometimes I'm
snapped into the space where I think, wait a minute, is it really
(12:33):
just one thing? Is it reallyjust one experience that we're all having?
And when I worked for Carrie.She she always talked about taking your broken
heart and making art. She alwaystalked about finding the humor in a bad
situation, because then what's the pointof the situation, you know, like,
no one wants to live in aworld where everything is just bad.
(12:56):
And I do notice that when Iif I can slow down for a second,
if I can open my eyes alittle bit wider, if I can
see a bigger picture, often terriblethings do have these moments of humor,
and they can be it can bringlevity, it can bring inspiration, they
can be moments of growth and healing. So to me, it really is
(13:16):
just so important to acknowledge that itis a you know, they are so
connected drama and comedy. That wasbeautifully said. I have to tell you
because of my own personal experiences,I'm going through, the themes of life
and death and what kind of lifewe've lived hit me so hard. I
(13:37):
found myself in tears many many times. But it was always this kind of
like uplifting cry. I don't reallyknow how to explain it. You've had
your own breash with fatality. IfI'm dealing with cancer personally, kind of
having that voiced on you as sucha young person. Also, of course
we anybody who follows you on socialmedia knows, you know, losing your
adorable, beautiful dog, which notgiving something away, but like it's a
(14:01):
big part of big a wedding isthis connection with animals. Can you share
with us about what you've learned aboutlife and death and how it affects your
daily life. M I think that, gosh, it's such a big question.
Well, so I had cancer intwenty fifteen and they said, well,
(14:26):
testiculo cancer is easy to treat,no big deal, just relax,
and I was like, all right. Then it came back in twenty twenty,
had to have chemo, and sosuddenly I'm like, well, wait
a minute, can I come backagain? And they're like, oh,
goods are so low, And I'mlike, but you know what, I've
heard that before, and and Ido need to point out that I know
(14:48):
that testicular cancer is statistically is survivable, you catch it early, that that
kind of thing very different from othersthat are much more brutal. But nevertheless,
you do think about mortality. SoI'm sitting there getting chemo and I'm
looking around me at these mostly elderlypeople who are getting these infusions and crying
out in pain, and and youcan't help but think like, wow,
(15:15):
we're all kind of fragile here.And so there's a part of it that
makes you think I need to livein the moment. I need to embrace
the present. This is really important. And then here's where it gets a
little bit crazy. Once I startedthinking like that, suddenly the present seemed
really beautiful, even while I wasgetting chemo. So even in the cancer,
(15:37):
even in the thick of all that, one thing I remember so vividly
is this. There was this thisold lady getting getting her chemo, this
gray hair, old old lady,and she would pass the time by knitting,
always knitting, always knitting, andwe were always freezing cold. They
kept the room cold, the medicineswere cold. Everyone was freezing all the
time. So she was knitting,knitting scarves and all the And one day
(15:58):
she came up to me and shesaid, Hey, do you like a
color? And I thought, ohGod, is this going to be some
kind of gay thing that's about tohappen? And uh and I said,
yeah, sure, I think so. She's like you like rainbows? And
I was like, oh yeah,uh huh, And She's like, oh,
I knitted this for you, Andshe pulls out of her bag a
(16:21):
rainbow knitted cap and gave that tome and talked to me about her daughter
and her life and all this thesebeautiful things. It was just such a
beautiful moment, and so thinking aboutdeath and sometimes getting lost in that sadness
made me focus on the present.And then once you start focusing on the
present, I started realizing, Ohmy god, there are so many beautiful
moments even here too. And thatwas a really that was a that was
(16:45):
a great gift. And I hopethat in my writing and in my work
I'm able to bring those little momentsof levity, those those great lessons about
the joy of this existence to thepage. You certainly do that. I
have to tell you, friend,I love you again. I'm not going
to spoil anything. But there's thisidea of heaven, there's this idea of
(17:07):
this afterlife. What is your personaltake on life after death or spirituality or
you know that it's such a bigtheme in the book. No matter where
you come from, it's beautifully sharedin the book. So what is your
personal take on that? Well,you know, if you looked at my
TikTok feed. The answer is there. I keep getting all these things from
(17:30):
there are so many like atheists.I'll have these great debate clips from like
Stephen Fry and other great, greatpeople who speak so Ricky Gervais, who
speaks so eloquently about is there nothingness? Is there meaningless and all like?
And I struggle with that stuff too, because I really do want to be
live in the what some people sayis sort of a woo woo type world.
(17:53):
But the reality is no one knows, and lots of people, lots
of people will say, oh,I know, but no one does.
And I think that that's in someways the gift is that we're part of
something. We're all connected. Thatpart is undeniable. We share water,
(18:17):
we share sky, we share air, like the connection is undeniable. But
we just get a little piece ofthe puzzle. And so I try to
just focus on my piece of thepuzzle. How does this, how does
this fit into everything? And amI am I doing? Am I doing
my job fitting in bringing you know, writing this story about about this gay
(18:38):
couple trying to get gay married inthe South? Am I doing my am
I paying respect to my puzzle pieceby writing a book about how I was
inspired by working with Carrie Fisher,you know, et cetera, et cetera.
So I just look at it thatway. I don't know, but
I just try to do to domy part. And there's another thing that
(19:00):
helps that I learned from this selfhelp lady, And she's often asked the
question who would I be? Withoutthat thought, like what would my life
look like if I wasn't thinking aboutbecause I can also get in the habit
of overthinking about life and death whatdoes it mean? And so I asked
myself, who would I be rightnow walking the dogs if I wasn't having
(19:22):
the thought what does this mean?And I would be a person who is
enjoying a breeze, who is enjoyingthe sun on my skin, who's looking
at a beautiful sky. One timeI asked myself that question and I smelled
fresh baked cookies. I was like, oh my god. If I wouldn't
have asked myself, who would Ibe without all these thoughts of worry or
these thoughts of trying to figure itout? I would have not realized that
(19:47):
there's someone's baking cookies. This smellsfucking amazing, So anyway. I'm I'm
I think just like every other humantrying to be like, what the heck
does all this mean? But ifI take myself out of that for a
second and just say, well,I can't know, I'm not supposed to
know, And then what is there? There's this shirt is soft? You
know what I mean. I'm notfreezing cold, I'm not burning hot.
(20:11):
There can be just loveliness. Ohmy god, this is the longest rambling
answer. No, No, Ilove it. I tell you story of
my life. I'm always smelling abaked cookie somewhere. Yes, yes,
it's a message. It's a message. No, No, my sleppants are
like no more. Love takes somany forms in your book, love from
(20:36):
family, love from a partner,love of family, animals, love of
people from a past, and unconditionallove takes center stage in this book and
how that can evolve and grow.Many of our LGBTQ community don't experience this
kind of unconditional love in their household, being accepted for who they are.
(20:56):
Kind of going through this evolution withthe characters in your book. What is
your advice to those that don't feelthat kind of love from their own family?
Oh, my gosh, it reallybreaks my heart. And it reminds
me of growing up. My dadwas really strict, and I always wanted
(21:17):
to please him. And I sometimesthink of that thing where if you could
go back and tell your younger selfsomething, I think I would go back
and tell my younger self, Hey, you will never make him happy.
You will never make him happy.This thing they call unconditional love, you
will never get that from him.So just put that, put that on
(21:40):
the burner, and live your life, do your best, be a good
person. And and when I thinkabout what that would have given younger Byron,
I think it would have given hima little bit more freedom. And
so sometimes that's just part of it. There are people who just aren't gonna
(22:00):
love and it sucks and it's awful. And you know, we don't have
to reinvent the wheel here, wecan. We can look at the cliches.
It gets better, that's true,it'll get better. And love yourself
another cliche that is really true butreally important. That's where that's where to
(22:22):
look. And so sometimes the thingthat hurt the most was like, I
can't figure out how to get thisguy to just accept this whole me.
But maybe that was the wrong forme as a kid, maybe that was
that was the wrong desire. Andreally, if someone would have said,
there are some people who you cannever make happy, who will never be
(22:45):
pleased, and that doesn't mean thatas as an adult, I don't believe
in fighting for our rights, forthe protests that are necessary, for the
speaking out, for saying like,hey, you know, we live in
a society. You have to sharespace. There's we're connected. There's no
cutting people out of public life.There's no you know, doing that is
(23:07):
cutting people out of life period,and that's that's not what we're here to
do. So I don't know.Again, I gotta get used to a
friend. I gotta get used togiving you a sound bye. These are
such rambling things, but no,because these are the thoughts that we're having,
you know, these are the thoughtsthat affect us every single day,
especially with all the changes that aregoing on, and our younger generation are
(23:27):
being so empowered so early on.I don't think they're stuck with the same
heaviness that we were raised with.It's like, you know, parents have
to come first, family has tocome first, and now people are like,
my friends are my family. Idon't need people who don't accept me
in my life. So beautiful.Yeah, yeah, Okay, Levy Devy.
(23:47):
We know in your personal life youhave found love, marriage, the
whole thing with a fellow writer,I might add, so I can't even
imagine that dynamic at home. Whatare some of the biggest challenges though you
faced being an married relationship? Andany advice for newlyweds. The best advice
is the same advice that one alwaysgets and gives, and that's communication is
(24:11):
key. And I just feel solucky. Stephen is so amazing in all
the ways. And one of myfavorites is the communicating. I mean,
we fell in love in part becauseof his writing. We met on okay
Cupid when that was a big thingten years ago, and when my first
(24:33):
message and was like, oh mygod, you're so funny, what a
funny profile, what brilliant writing.And he's still liked that and still an
excellent communicator. And we just hada little thing recently where oh what did
I do? We were making thebed and I don't know something something,
and and afterwards I said, hey, I want to take a second and
(24:56):
apologize for getting kind of snippy withthe making of the bed and then he
goes, well, I want toapologize for my getting part of snippy with
them making the bed. And thenwe talked about whether that moment was about
us sharing our stresses or was thata moment about where where one of us
needed to be heard and who knows, but just that conversation create such intimacy.
(25:22):
And so that's my advice is communicate, communicate, and and not just
how was your day, but likewhat made you smile today, what made
you laugh, what made you sad? Like, let's get into it,
just nosy part of me. Didyou make your bed every day before you
were married? I still I stilldon't make the bed. I was actually
(25:45):
making the bed for a guest.We had some guests coming over. Steve
makes the bed, He's so wonderful, he does that. But we had
some guests coming in town, andso it was and it was unexpected,
and so we were making the bedtogether for them. That's funny. I
don't think I've made my bed sinceI was a freshman in high school.
But like, if I'm dating somebodyor whatever, then all of a sudden,
(26:07):
I'm a person who makes the bedevery day. I'm like that's not
who I Oh, listen, weall go through it. And when I
was single, I was like Igot rid of the top sheet because I
just like just pulling the confidor overwas enough for me. Lazy discussing single
guy. But listen where it's awhole new world now, yep, Okay,
(26:30):
some writ or advice. Many peopleput out content, write a book,
Some of them sit on the shelf. Some of them don't even get
published. Some become a hit,some become a movie, a TV series.
This is just your second novel andyou've already become a hit, critical
and audience favorite. What is thesecret to your success? Oh gosh,
I don't know that there's any Idon't know about any of that. I
(26:56):
still think that when people say Iloved your book, that they're being nice
to me. And I want anaward once for a web series, and
I thought the same thing, likewhy are they being so nice to me?
And my therapist was like, really, like do you think that they?
You know? But it's still hardto process that. And you know,
another thing I learned from Carrie Fisher, and maybe this is the most
(27:18):
important thing I learned, is thatthe success doesn't isn't really the purpose of
all of it. It won't makeyou happy. All the money in the
world won't make you happy. Thatcomes from, uh, you know,
other other things, mostly internal things, but it can come from the joy
you get from serving a community,being part of your family, the chosen
family you have around you, andall those those are still, at the
(27:41):
end of the day to me thehallmarks of real success. And there's a
there's a bit in a Star's Boardabout that where the character who's based on
me is imagining Madonna coming home atnight and having to like unlock her front
door. And I'm not sure ifMadonna does that anymore, but there.
(28:02):
But you know, these people welook up to, they still have to
come home and do these basic humanthings. Brush their teeth, brush their
teeth, eat something whatever. Sogood, Lord, I'm totally in the
weeds now. But but yeah,so I don't know if there's a secret
to success. The answer is tokeep going, keep following your heart,
(28:25):
say the things you want to say, and and don't let anything stop you.
Like there's a thing about like whatif you're one hundred what if you
need one hundred knows before you geta yes? So how many are you
at? Are you? Are youat fifty? News? Are you at
ninety eight? You just need threemore? Like keep going, keep going,
keep going. The audiobook of Biga Wedding is read by the fabulous
(28:48):
actor Noah Galvin Biel Galvin Well,I love Noah. He's such a cutie
and he's you know, he's sucha big part of our community. But
being in entertainment, we've seen youact, you have an amazing personality.
Why not Mary at the book yourself? Gosh? If I thought I could
do a better job than Noah,than I would. But the thing about
Noah is that he's not just abrilliant actor and person. He is also
(29:14):
he also represents something for me.And that is years and years and years
ago, before I had a Star'sBoard, I was listening to an audiobook
and the narrator was so great thatI thought to myself, if I ever
have an audiobook, I want thisguy to do it. And that guy
was Noah Galpant Wow. So whenthe Star's Board rolled around and they were
like, who do you want?I was like, can you see if
Noah Galpin's be able? And hesaid yes. And now he's kind of
(29:37):
you know, his career has justbeen blowing up, blowing up, blowing
up, And so then this camearound there like do you wanna have any
ideas you know? And I said, well, can you see if Noah
would be interested? And he saidyes, And I couldn't believe it,
but I feel so lucky. Andhe sent me in Instagram messages the other
day saying he was on day two. It's going great with a couple of
(29:57):
hearts, which to me is likechanges my life. So he's, uh,
if I could do better than him, maybe I would think about it,
but he's I feel so lucky tohave him. Okay, this is
so cliche, But what is nextfor you? Well, I'm kicking around
ideas. I'm trying to decide whatto do next. Is it Is it
going to be book three? Isit going to be book three and a
(30:21):
new Like I'm trying to adapt aStar's Board to TV. I'm working on
adapting Big Gay Wedding into a film. So it's it's all kinds of balls
in the air. I don't know, I don't know where they're gonna land.
I'm excited. And finally, whatis your message to the LGBTQ community
this Pride season, Smile baby,Smile baby, take that smile and bring
(30:45):
into the streets. Let's do it. Let's do this. This is the
time to be proud. This isthe time to really let it show.
I have my whole life struggled withthis idea of pride, and but it
really clicked for me when someone saidto me that pride is very simply the
opposite of shame and that it makesso much sense to me. Pride makes
(31:11):
so much sense to me when Ilook at it that way. We should
not be ashamed of any part ofour life, and we should not be
ashamed of any part of our community. And when I look at these parades
and I think of it through thatlens, I'm so damn proud. I'm
so proud of the beautiful people.I'm so proud of the beautiful communities.
I'm so proud of the different typesof people, the different types of lifestyles.
(31:34):
Like truly, there's nothing to beashamed of. And it just makes
me. I just I just think, put on that smile and get out
there and let's all do it together. Sorry, Boiled the Dogs. Rain
Drop is getting in on this she'sproud too. She's a proud dog.
Byron. Where can we find andfollow you my website Byron Lane dot com
(31:56):
or I'm on Instagram Byron Lane dotcom, Twitter Byron Lane. I don't
know all the usual places, butI'd love to see any of you there,
So hit me up and let's havea chat. Well, I didn't
know you're on TikTok, so I'mgonna go stock you right now. Yeah,
I'm on TikTok. I love itthere. I truly have an addiction.
Sometimes I get like arthritis from lookingat it too long. Oh you're
(32:17):
so funny. Thank you, thankyou, thank you so much for chatting
with me, and thank you forcontinuing, like I said, to use
your platform putting out beautiful material onbehalf of our community. It's really great
gay rights. Just say gay that'swild and say hi to Stephen for me.
I will, I will thank youfor this. That was Metrosource Minis.
You can catch my in depth conversationwith Byron in the Pride issue of
(32:39):
Metrosource now on newsstands, or atmetrosource dot com. Follow everything Byron at
Byron Lane dot com, and I'myour host. Alexander Rodriguez. You can
find me on Instagram at Alexander Ison air until next time, Stay true
and do you boot? That hasbeen another Metrosource Mini like, Share and
(33:02):
subscribe on your favorite podcast player andcheck out the latest issue of Metrosource magazine
on newsstands or online at metrosource dotcom. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram
at metrosource and on Twitter at metrosource. Match until next time, same passages,
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