Mindset Mentor - Epi 124 - Mortality Movement

 In this episode, Tania Kolar interviews Greg Barnsdale, the founder of the Mortality Movement and author of  Do Not Ignore Your Mortality. They discuss fear of death,  proactive future planning, and facing one’s mortality to live your best life and leave a legacy. 

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
The views expressed in the following programare those of the participants and do not
necessarily reflect the views of Saga ninesixty am or its management. Wello and

(00:21):
welcome to the Mindset menta of TanyaCola Helping You Live your Best Life coming
up on today's show. It's kindof interesting because you know, part of
living your best life is discussing andthinking about being proactive about end of life.
I know they seem worlds of part, right, you're trying to live
your best life, but you know, worrying or thinking about end of life

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can really be a little bit ofan oxymoron, so to speak. But
let's dive into the conversation and tohelp you not fear death. I think
one of the reasons that we don'twant to discuss our mortality is that we
fear it. We fear death,we fear the unknown. There's a certain
well anxiety or stress that can becaused by the unknown or the unfamiliar,

(01:07):
and we're going to help to makeit a little bit more familiar. We're
going to talk about planning for yourfuture, planning on leaving a legacy,
and help me to alleviate some ofthe stress that is caused by all of
that uncertainty. We My special guesttoday is Greg Barnesdale. He is the
founder of the Mortality Movement and alsoauthor of Do Not Ignore Your Mortality,

(01:32):
And this is practical advice from afuneral and financial What would you call yourself,
Greg, let's say that again,advisor, Insider, Oh, insider,
Okay, I like that. Ilike that. Welcome, Welcome back
actually to the show. Greg.It's great to see you again and to

(01:55):
have you here to share your knowledgeand to start to sort of unveil and
unpack the layers that you know,people sort of fear about the anxiety of
moving forward in life. Oftentimes peoplecompletely ignore the fact that they're going to
die, which is, you know, ironic because we all know that we're
going to get there at some point, right, It's inevitable, and of

(02:17):
course we want to live our absolutebest life. So I'd love to talk
about the mortality minds, that movementthat you have now founded, and what
exactly that means. What is themovement? Well, the movement is just
a name that I have come upwith, Tanya. It's not new,
It's been around for years. Thiswhole message has been evolving ever since I

(02:38):
joined the funeral industry as a youngfuneral director back in the mid nineteen eighties.
But it's becoming more prevalent, especiallysurrounding aspects or tied to changes in
our society, such as the MedicalAssistance in Dying program, the prevalence of
death duelas, and the whole aspectof the issues surrounding estate planning and how

(03:05):
more prominent this whole topic is becoming. Yeah, that's really interesting. And
you know something that you just saidthat I am now hearing for the first
time is a death doula. NowI know that people have, you know,
a birth doula. I've never heardof a death doula. So you
know, what does what does thatlook like and what and how does that
help to facilitate, you know,end of life. Well, death doulas

(03:30):
are very similar to birth doulas,as you had mentioned. They're basically helpers
that at that time of a death. I'm a hospice volunteer for the local
hospice here in the community where Ilive, and I suspect that anyone who
is also a volunteer for a hospiceis also a death doula because they're simply

(03:53):
a helper, and there is sucha vast wide need for people to step
up and become volunteer years for hospicesthese days. This was something I learned
as I was creating the manuscript formy book. Yeah, you know,
that's an interesting point, and it'scertainly relevant and needed and so invaluable when

(04:14):
it comes to having somebody to assistsomeone, you know, at end of
life. My father was in ahospice and I was absolutely in awe of
the service they provided because it wasso caring and compassionate and it you know,
I think it means the world toanyone going through that, and not

(04:36):
just the individual going through that,whether they're aware of it or not,
but also their family and loved oneswatching and witnessing that because it be a
very difficult and challenging time for everyone. So it's really great that there is
this movement, there's your book thatpeople can you know, reach to to
get some of the answers that they'reseeking or just some of the guidance.

(04:58):
And hearing some thing from another personis a way that we always can connect
and learn and experiencing others journeys throughthe written word or the spoken word is
really a beautiful thing, and that'swhere the wisdom and the knowledge is gained
and shared. So it's really beautiful. And of course when it comes to
end of life, it's such ahighly emotional time and a lot of people

(05:24):
experience anxiety, experience stress going throughthe process, or even just simply fearing
the process. So let's talk alittle bit about your book as well.
So do not ignore your mortality,because I really want to focus in on
why it's important that we start tothink about, you know, mortality,
because we certainly want to live ourbest life, but we can also live

(05:46):
our best life. You talked aboutthat, that's part of your purpose is
helping to people people live their bestlife. But through understanding that we are,
you know, eventually going to getto end of life. Yes,
I don't think there's any reason toavoid it, Tanya. You're exactly right.
We will all die at some point. Yet planning, as we know

(06:11):
for most things in life, paysoff. But to a large degree,
when I worked as a funeral directorand also as a certified financial planner,
when I was speaking with with somany people about these sorts of things,
whether it was their ultimate death,or reducing major risks to a comfortable retirement
or the risk of them becoming potentiallyincapacitated and unable to speak for themselves.

(06:38):
There was a fair number of peoplethat just simply didn't want to go there.
They were uncomfortable with it. Andthe whole idea behind this book is
to help with a little bit ofhumor actually, to help people realize that
it's yes, I'm afraid of itas well. I certainly don't want to
die. And I was actually facedwith this not too long ago after I
published the book, being diagnosed tobringing to her myself ironically, but instead

(07:03):
of being held captive by our fearof potentially dying at some point, I
think it's much more important to leaninto this while we have the opportunity and
speak with our family members about whatwe want to have happened, while our
minds are clear and time is plentiful. That's the time to do it.

(07:23):
Yeah, it certainly is the timeto do it. And you know,
it's really interesting because you know,we can all sort of hide from our
desires because we fear things. Sothis conversation today is not limited to just
our mortality. You want to thinkof mortality as anything you know that you
want to attain in life. Youknow, we can hold ourselves back.

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You talked about that grog like holdingourselves back, and we can hold ourselves
back from our dreams in this beautifulworld that we have and you know,
achieving and striving for our goals.But yeah, we hold ourselves back because
we fear or we don't understand,or we don't know, we don't ask
the questions, you know, forfear of whatever that might be that keeps
us stuck. And so it's aboutgoing beyond that comfort zone, reaching for

(08:09):
your best life. And in thiscase when we do talk about mortality,
it's kind of interesting because certainly inlife we set goals, right, we
have a roadmap and a plan toget there, right, and we know
that we can be very successful ifwe do have those plans and we take
action. And so it's kind oflike we're setting life goals for end of

(08:30):
life, right. It's end oflife goals. And it's important to have
that proactive approach so that you canalleviate some of the stress that is not
only causing some of the anxiety forour own mortality, but anxiety and stress
for the loved ones that we leavebehind. So to your point, Greg,
I think that's really important to letpeople know your family and your love

(08:52):
what's what are your intentions? Howwould you like that to unfold? End
of life? Right? How canyou plan for that? How can you
take some of the pressure and stressoff other family members because they're also dealing
with losing a loved one, right, which can be just you know,
gut wrenching and so difficult. Andthen to be faced with the financial challenges

(09:15):
and the obligations that come and theestate, you know, sorting out the
estate and all of those things.It can add on another layer of stress
that we can avoid if we wereto be proactive about it. Yes,
And in another very interesting aspect ofall of this sort of planning, Tonya,
is the fact that end of lifeplanning actually reduces the stress of aging.

(09:39):
I think that's a phenomenal point forall of us to remember. Wait,
say that again, It reduces thestress of aging. Yes, we
like this. We all have remindersevery day. I think they're close to
it as we get older, whetherit's lack of flexibility or forgetting something.

(10:00):
But to keep in mind that thisplanning actually reduces the stress of aging and
will help our family members immensely whenwe're gone and potentially well, that's why
I came up with this what I'mcalling the Mortality mindset movement. And if
I can just there's something important,Tony, I want to mention to you

(10:20):
about this because I think it's vitallyimportant for the message here today. Yes,
please share. Well, my wholecareer, I've been stressing to so
many people that they need to gettheir act together and consider all of this
sort of planning. And as Isaid earlier, was so ironic, how
two months after I published this bookon the very topic, I get diagnosed

(10:41):
with a brain tumor and it wasnon cancerous. I've had it out and
I feel great, So I'm incrediblylucky. But over the last couple of
years or so, I've been reachingout to a lot of people on LinkedIn,
which is a phenomenal tool, butI've been strategically reaching out to people
who I suspect would resonate with thistype of message. So I've been reaching
out to doctors and nurses and clergyand financial advisors, funeral directors and people

(11:07):
from lawyers, etc. People fromall of these types of community psychiatrists and
sociologists, etc. And the feedbackthat I have been getting Tanya has been
incredibly strong, and that's what hasinspired me to start what I'm calling this
mortality mindset movement. And I've comeup with a little explanation that i think

(11:28):
really is starting to resonate with alot of people. But I feel that
people who lean into this will itwill basically help them live a better life.
As you had said, and I'vegot it jotted down here, I
just want to make sure I've gotit right. It will help followers will
uphold their living legacy by becoming thebest version of themselves, ultimately living their

(11:52):
last legacy as the best one possible. But it has the potential to help
survivors be more financially and more resilient, more likely to get along. It'll
people will be more inspired to leavemeaningful legacies instead of a mess. Charities
will have more money to do morebecause the state planning often involves charities,

(12:13):
and the systems will be massively relievedfrom having to deal with so many unorganized
the states. I think like itvery excited by this. That's awesome,
you know, it's great to hearthat excitement because again, most people you
know, or some people are notso excited about that concept of having to

(12:33):
plan for end of life or eventhinking about it right can be can be
a challenge. So I think it'sthat's, you know, an important movement.
It is certainly timely because timing.We know that timing is everything,
and it's important to sort of getthose ducks in a row, so to
speak. But it really can takesome of that pressure, you know,
off, the anxiety and the fearthat we're all experiencing just in day to

(12:56):
day living can be certainly exacerbated throughfinancial strain as well. So getting your
finances sorted out, I think iskey. You talked about estate planning,
so let's talk a little bit aboutthat. So how does one go about
starting to plan end of life froma financial perspective? What are their first
steps? Well, there are allkinds of resources available to everyone. The

(13:20):
Internet obviously is the easiest and quickestresource for people to get information on anything
these days, but I think onealso a very good resource is basically just
asking family and friends who they useas their advisor, that type of personal
referral. It can also meet alot too and So just to clarify,

(13:41):
Gregor, and when you're saying advisor, you're talking about a financial advisor,
yes, or it could be someoneworking for any number of different companies,
but yes, the financial advisor issomeone that can bring a lot of value
to the table. And that's whatagain, I gave a lot of thought
to creating this in my book,was to properly explain this to people and

(14:03):
the differences between what a personal financialadvisor can do for you versus an online
type of resource, which is muchmore of a do it yourself type of
approach, which can work, butthere are drawbacks to that. M So,
I mean, it's great to seekthe advice of a professional who can
guide you and answer some questions andprovide the available tools that are necessary.

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You know, I think that's important. So we want to plan for our
financial future. So that's not onlyabout you know, taking care of the
estate, but also you know theprocess of actual you know the burial and
you know the cemetery and all thatkind of stuff. So what are some
of the costs associated, Like whatshould somebody budget for? How much should

(14:50):
they budget and put aside for that? That's a tough question to answer.
Tanya, because everybody's situation is sodramatically different. When I created the manuscript
for this book, using all ofthese people as volunteer beta testers to give
me feedback on how I should createit, that was one of the things
that a number of them brought up, especially in regards to the cost of

(15:13):
putting a will together, and Igave a lot of time to create that
section of the book properly to explainto people that if their situation is quite
straightforward and online will will could sufficefor them without any issues. But if
someone is paying child or spousal support, where they own property outside of the

(15:35):
jurisdiction where they live, or theyhave any type of business interest, they
should certainly be seeing a lawyer andtherefore the legal cost will be higher.
But it's like much of how ourworld works. We get what we pay
forward. Yeah, you know,it's so true. It's so true,
and you know it can be sucha relief when you know that your loved

(15:58):
ones have taken care of that,when everything is sort of set and it's
in place, then you know youcan move forward, and also moving forward
through grief when your grief's stricken andtrying to sort out financial aspects of the
loved one, you know, whetherit's a state or a will. You
know, see, people sometimes don'teven know who to contact right or where

(16:19):
to find the will that exists,or if one even exists, right.
So it's kind of nice to knowthat, you know, loved ones are
taken care of without having to gothrough that process while you know through the
grief process as well. So reallygreat information. And the book is Do
Not Ignore Your Mortality written by GregBarnsdale. You know, Greg, you

(16:41):
had an extensive career in the funeraldirecting world and also financial so it's interesting
how you have now married those twotogether and all they they sometimes seem like
they're world's apart, they're actually quiteyou know, they meld beautifully together,
right, and it kind of makesperfect sense. Let's talk a little bit

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about your experience as a funeral director, and you know what you've witnessed with
the people coming in and were mostof them at that point where they planned
for their end of life or fortheir loved ones, or were they caught
in that moment of uncertainty and fearand not knowing what to do. The

(17:27):
vast majority of people were not expectinga death to take place in their family.
A few were prepared. I metwith many people over the years who
I actually sat down with and prearranged their funeral and their wishes in advance,
knowing that they were dying, whichis a hard thing to do.

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But more and more people are takingadvantage of that type of pre arrangement situation
to plan properly. But as theysaid, the vast majority of people didn't,
and it was a shock. Itwas something that they were not expecting
at all. And to a largedegree, that turmoil and frustration and all

(18:08):
the negativity that often plays a partin that type of shocking surprise can be
alleviated by this proactive planning. AsI said, when times are good and
minds are clear, that's the timeto be doing it. Yeah, I
mean it's amazing. Just think aboutit this way. If you have had
an amazing night sleep, you wakeup and you feel terrific, and you

(18:33):
are you know, cognizant of yoursurroundings and you can articulate your day,
You can healthily expressure emotion, yourtolerance is you know, at a good
level. And when we've had nosleep and we're exhausted and we you know,
struggle to get out of bed andwe're you know, really hanging on

(18:56):
to our day. It's we missa lot. We you know, don't
function as well of course when we'resleep deprived. And it's the same thing
as that planning process, right,being cognizant of your environment and your surroundings
and what needs to be done,you know, is much easier when you
have planned for it or you know, when you're rested well. So I'm

(19:19):
just putting it, you know,as that analogy of having a really great
night's sleep and then planning right andjust being aware. And again, as
I mentioned, you know, whenyou're sleep deprived, your tolerance is really
low. And when you haven't plannedfor life and you haven't you know,
ticked off all the boxes so tospeak, it can you know, leave
you depleted as though you have youfeel as though you haven't had that great

(19:41):
night sleep. Does that make sense? It does. It's a nice analogy.
So we're going to take a break. We're going to continue here on
the Mindset mentor a Tanya Kolar helpingyou live your best life. My special
guest today is Greg Barnsdale. Heis the founder of the mortality Mindset Movement

(20:02):
and also author of Do Not IgnoreYour Mortality. To stay with us,
We're going to continue the conversation whenwe get back after this break No Radio,

(20:22):
No Problem stream is live on SAGAninety six am dot com. Well,
hello, and welcome back to theMindset mentor I'm Tanya Kohlar, and

(20:44):
I hope that you are having anabsolutely outstanding day today. And my goal
is to ensure that you are livingyour best life. And it's often hard
to live your best life, orcertainly for you like you're living your best
life when you have a lot ofstress in your life and when you are
you know, thinking about all thethings that you have to do and you're

(21:08):
thinking about the future. Maybe it'seven the things that you you know haven't
done right. But one of thebig strussers in life is also thinking about
our mortality. And a lot ofpeople tend to completely shut it out,
shut that conversation down or the thoughtsdown, because they just simply don't want
to efface their mortality. And there'sso many reasons that could be, you

(21:29):
know, fear of aging, justfear of the unknown. There's a myriad
of reasons that cause even you knowwhat they call death anxiety, right,
and it could be that you knowa loved one has passed away and you're
really starting to struggle with feeling yourown mortality and you know, as we
want to have this conversation today withmy special guest, Greg Barnsdale, who

(21:52):
is the founder of the Mortality mindsetmovement and author of Do Not Ignore Your
Mortality, so that he can helpus plan for that situation and to alleviate
some of that stress or you reduceit hopefully, right. So, Greg,
it's a great topic, and thanksfor being on the mindset mentor for
the second visit. It's great tohave you back. And I wanted to

(22:15):
talk about your personal experience basing yourown mortality because you recently had a brain
tumor and surgery and you had toput into practice what you have written about
and spoken about. How did thatfeel? It was all very ironic.

(22:36):
After years and years of stressing topeople about how they should get their affairs
in order and be ready for thisfinal stage in life. I get diagnosed
with a brain tumor two months afterpublishing a book on the very topic.
But it gave me a significant amountof peace of mind and reassurance knowing that
I had prepared because being a financialadvisor and a fund adres these types of

(23:02):
thoughts were often top of mind withme. And I had my will in
place the way that I had wantedit, in my power of attorney,
and everything else organized properly, thebeneficiary designations up to date and online passwords
and credentials, everything recorded and upto date to make it easier from my
wife if I died on the operatingtable for this craniotomy, and fortunately I

(23:26):
didn't. I came through it.But the whole process certainly gave me a
more of a rounded perspective that Inever thought I would have. But it's
a wake up call, isn't ita huge wakeup call? Who expects these
things? They can come out ofnowhere and they can knock us down,

(23:47):
you know. But again, it'sso important to you know, have the
awareness and to know what the optionsare and to live your best life possible,
no matter what the circumstance or experience. So you were told that you
were while you were diagnosed with abrain tumor, and literally I think it

(24:08):
was like two months after you hadsurgery. So let's talk a little bit
about you know, that process andthe need for having everything done and in
that two months period, what wereyour what was the biggest priority for you?
And I know that you also puttogether a TikTok video with your experience

(24:30):
with your wife, so I'd loveto also hear a little bit about your
wife's perspective on all of that.Well, the the when I was initially
told by my general physician that Ihad a brain tumor, it shocked me.
I went into his office with asore neck, and he didn't tell
me that the brain tumor could becancerous or not. He was actually trying

(24:52):
harder that day to get me anappointment within your nose and throat specialist in
another city. But by the timeI got home from that doctor's appointment,
my cell phone was going off andit was the specialist office asking me to
come in on the Monday morning atnine am. So I was convinced before
seeing him that my brain tumor wascancerous and I was likely going to die.

(25:17):
So it was very hard to dealwith. I wasn't sure when would
be the best time to tell mywife. She was working from home that
day. It was on a Thursday. I never did tell her on the
Thursday or the Friday. I waiteduntil Saturday morning, not knowing if it
would even be the best time.But I ended up telling her and she
was devastated, and she immediately goton the phone to arrange time off to

(25:41):
come with me that Monday morning tothe specialist office. But when is the
best time to tell your spouse you'regoing to die? Yeah, that's a
really good question. And I'm gladthat you shared your experience, because you
know, you waited a couple ofdays, but you did share that experience,
and I think that in the sharingof that also can help to eliminate

(26:04):
some of the stress that you're experiencingpersonally and not feeling like you're alone.
So when you finally shared on theSaturday morning with your wife that you had
a brain tumor and it was cancerous, what did you feel relief? Did
you feel that support or what wereyour thoughts? I did. I felt

(26:26):
a tremendous amount of relief just gettingit off my chest, but I was
assuming it was cancerous, and wedid too. We certainly brought us closer
that weekend before we saw the specialiston Monday, who ultimately said to me,
well, Gregg, it's probably anacoustic neuroma. MRIs are picking these
up much more often, and ithas to do with a ringing in one
ear. So if any of yourlisteners happen to have tonight us or are

(26:49):
ringing in one year, they shouldget an MRI done, because it just
to make sure MRIs are picking theseup much more frequently. But my my,
as I said, the biggest reliefto me was the fact that the
doctor had said that it is likelynoncancerous. He ended up being right,
but just the fact that I had, I had done all this planning.

(27:11):
And this is something that I tooka lot of time to write about in
my book because I've seen this somany times when when people are unorganized and
they haven't done any of this sortof planning, and then all of a
sudden, a serious health issue wasalso on their plate to deal with.
Having to then organize all of theseother estate planning things, especially like getting

(27:33):
a will in place, is thatmuch more complicated. And I've seen people
trying to pull off deathbed estate planningand it's in and it's it's much much
better to have these conversations and dothe planning before a health issue ever comes
into the picture. Yeah, yeah, you know, you want to ensure
that the correct decisions are made,the right people are involved, and you

(27:59):
know, I think that's why it'salso really important to set the intention of
what you would like your end oflife to look like and who you would
want to be present. I thinkthat that's an interesting conversation and you know,
maybe approaching it with some family members. Now, so how do we
start the conversation breg with that topic. Well, it's I'm glad you brought

(28:25):
that up. Actually, I recentlycreated a number of what I am calling
probing legacy questions, and I've putthem on my website free for anyone to
print off and use. But thereare fifteen basic questions for starter types of
conversations, plus fifteen other advanced questionsthat can be used for more involved questions

(28:49):
or actions with people. And ironically, Patricia love at Reid, who I'm
sure you recognize from BNN and TDBank, et cetera very famous television finance
personality in Toronto, it has hasbeen intrigued by my message and she recently
posted about this. My book andsome of these questions on her YouTube channel.

(29:11):
Well that's great. I mean it'sbecause you know, we don't want
to ignore mortality and we also don'twant to ignore you know, our money,
our financial situation, our financial health, and leaving that legacy for a
loved one. So it's important toyou know, at least tech stock have
a look, have these conversations.You never know what others are thinking,

(29:32):
and it's really kind of nice.People feel valued when you start to ask.
It may be a little bit ofan awkward conversation or awkward to get
the conversation started, but it's reallyinteresting in how the conversation will grow just
by starting. It's like anything,right, you take action. If you
have a goal, you need totake action. One small, diving,
little action step can really get youto that goal. So it's like a

(29:53):
conversation. You start the conversation andit ends up. It could be,
you know, very lengthy and you'lllearn a lot, so really nice.
Maybe ask some family members what theirthoughts are, you know, check out
that questionnaire, get the facts started, and then go from there. So
if they would like anyone listening,Greg would like to get your book or

(30:15):
that conversation starter question list. Wherecould we find that information? The best
way to find the info tiny ison my website, which is not Ignore
your Mortality dot com. All ofthe links are on the website for people
to buy the book. It's availablethrough all major retailers such as Amazon and

(30:37):
Barnes and Noble. It's a inphysical paperback, form, ebook and audiobook,
and there are quite a few resourcesavailable on my website too. Okay,
fantastic, so do not ignore yourMortality dot com have a look,
check it out, pick up acopy of Greg's book. And also I'd
love to talk about, you know, this movement and your kickstarter campaign what

(31:02):
is that all about? Life?Started a Kickstarter campaign just to help elevate
this whole message. As I saidto you earlier, I'm finding a good
amount of interest from people from variousrelated professions and it just seemed to be
good timing to help elevate this.I have a number of physical books here
at my home office, and I'vealso come up with conversation coasters as well.

(31:25):
For those people that remember the oldjoke of I'll get my will done
when I get around to it,Well, these coasters can actually be used,
which are part of the pledging tiersas part of the rewards for this
Kickstarter program, where people will receivedautograph copies of my book and these conversation

(31:45):
coasters to help them get the conversationsgoing with those they care about. Yeah,
that's interesting. I love that.When I get around to it,
I think that's a mantra for somefor sure. So it's a little reminder
that you know, right now,the present moment, we want to get
to it right away. You know, whatever that task might be, whether

(32:05):
it's talking about your finances, yourmortality, or your life goals, or
in some cases it might be nowend of life goals. You may have
never ever thought that you would evenconsider thinking about end of life and what
that looks like. But it's greatinformation that Greg has provided that we can
take stock, we can think aboutit, start thinking about things, and

(32:29):
when we acknowledge where we are simplyabout awareness. Having awareness in life is
super important. We want to livein the present moment, be aware of
what's happening, but also start toknow that what we are doing in the
present is impactful to our future aswell, and then looking at that future
planning. So proactive planning for endof life is a topic, and it's

(32:52):
a topic that you may have neverconsidered, but it's certainly an important topic.
And Greg is a expert in thatworld. So he is the author
of Do Not Ignore Your Mortality andalso founder of the Mortality mindset movement.
Prior to to the book, youknow, Greg spent a lot of time,

(33:15):
a very lengthy career in both thefuneral parlor directing sort of world and
financial world. So it's kind ofinteresting how the two of them have collided
and you've put that knowledge of wisdomkind of you know, married them together
to give practical advice for the everydayperson that may not even understand, you

(33:35):
know, the whole world of youknow, financial repercussion and what that looks
like, but also just some greattools on how to be able to navigate
conversations about our own mortality and simplyfacing our mortality. You know, that's
a huge fear. You know,one of the biggest fears ever, right,
is the fear of death. Andthere's death anxiety, so that could

(33:57):
be caused by witnessing a love onedie and the anxiety and the grief and
the builds up really makes us nowstart to take stock of our own mortality.
It makes it very real and wefeel like it's just right there in
front of us, and that cancreate so much stress. And so it's

(34:19):
I think interesting and important to havethese conversations just so that we can you
know, express our emotions. It'sso important because when we repress and suppress
emotion, that just leads to morestress, It leads to you know,
it could lead to you know,well disease in the body, and it
could lead to future, you know, serious illness. Right. So I

(34:44):
think understanding our emotions is ideal becausea certainly, as humans, we have
a spectrum of emotion and we wantto process them, but we also don't
want to live there too long,right, So getting stuck in one emotion
for years, right, And thatcould be again that fear and the anxiety
and uncertainty. And in this casewe're talking about mortality. So it's kind

(35:07):
of like that fear of death andunderstanding. So do you have any tips
for us, greg in helping usto you know, not be so fearful
of that future end of life?I do. And a lot of this
comes down to control in life.We all want to control what we can.

(35:31):
And you talk about this Tanya inyour coaching and so on, being
able to control and set goals andachieve and build the life that we want.
I don't think anyone can really avoidthis whole issue of death and the
fact that at some point we willdie and have to face it at some
point, whether it be friends,family, in whatever situation plays out in

(35:57):
a maraud of different lives that arelistening to this type of story, but
we all want to have control overour lives. The fact that we can
control this end of life experience toit, at least to the degree that
we can when we get there.Unless we die accidentally, which is out
of our control, we can controlit, and I think we should.

(36:21):
There's so many benefits. It helpsour family, it helps in so many
different ways. But I think thatwhole issue of control is really what we're
seeking, and it relates to yourjob and what you're coaching your clients to
do as well. Absolutely. Nowit's interesting because you know, we can
all hold on to control a littlebit too tightly as well, because we

(36:45):
try to control every aspect of life, right, So, I mean,
there is a point where there's thingsthat we can appreciate and then there's things
that we can understand that we don'treally control anything ultimately, right, but
we can certainly create some action stepsthat can provide a semblance of control that

(37:07):
helps us to move forward and tobe again proactive in living our best life.
Right. There's there's so many layersand so many steps to that,
but it is important to have goalsand to strive for something that is greater
than the moment, and that wewant to expand upon what we beyond what

(37:29):
we think is possible for us.And even you know, thinking about our
mortality, you know, can tieinto to all of that. So we're
going to take a quick break andwe're going to be right back here on
Saga nineteen sixty. You're listening tothe Mindset mentor I'm Tanya Kohler, and
we move back after this stream uslife at Saga. Now. All right,

(38:15):
Well, welcome back, and we'regoing to pick up the conversation where
we left off with my special guest, Greg Barnsdale. He is the author
of the Do Not Ignore Your Mortalitybook and also he's the founder of the
Mortality mindset movement. So we're goingto continue, and we have just a
few minutes left So one of thethings, of course, that we've talked

(38:37):
about to great length is the fearof death and how we don't want to
acknowledge that, you know, weare going to age and we are going
to die, right, it's likeburying our heads in the sand. We
think that if we just don't acknowledgeit, it's going to disappear, but

(38:58):
in fact it's not. That's notreality. So it's important and also to
have these conversations, but just toget you thinking about it and not to
cause anxiety. It was actually tocause less anxiety over the thought of dying.
And so there's a lot of peoplewho are afraid of dying and they
think that if they are, thatmeans that they're depressed, and that's not

(39:20):
necessarily the case. It's just anawkward topic at times. So, Greg,
your book has been helping many people. You've got some really great tools
and tips there to you know,guide the masses essentially to alleviate some of
that stress. So your book isavailable at do Not Ignore Your Mortality dot

(39:42):
com. So what final advice andwords would you like to leave and talk
about quickly with the listeners. Mybook is a short, compelling read which
is proving to be an effective toolto get readers and listeners thinking about what
they want to have happen when theydo die, or even to help their

(40:02):
other friends and family plan for this. But it's proving to be an effective
tool to get people thinking about thesethings, speaking with their family, and
also thinking about the professionals that canactually help them plan equippingly for their situation.
I've even added some humor believe itor not. Well, that's great
because again, it doesn't have tobe it's not a scary topic. It

(40:25):
doesn't have to be so serious.You can have a fun conversation. But
I think it's important to start theconversation and tackling those tough topics. Right.
It's not easy. Life is noteasy sometimes, right, but we
want to live our best life nomatter what circumstances are happening. And living
our best life can also involve beingproactive about end of life, setting those

(40:49):
goals and having a plan and lettingloved ones know what that plan is,
what your intentions are. I thinkthat's a great idea. So I want
to thank you Greg for being hereon mindset mentor today sharing your knowledge and
you know, amassing that the twoworlds of the funeral world and the financial
world together, you know, andmelding that in your book and providing some

(41:13):
practical tools. That's, you know, great advice. Thank you all right
everyone. That's a wrap for today'smindset mentor Antonya Kohla helping you live your
best life now. I want youto have those tough conversations, and tough
conversations is not just about facing yourmortality. We have tough questions and circumstances

(41:35):
that we have to deal with inlife, and it's important that we,
you know, face those and notbury our heads in the sand and ignore
them. Because when we what weignore and repress is eventually going to come
to the surface. It wants tobe addressed and felt. And you know,
when we do that for an excessiveamount of time, years, sometimes

(41:59):
even decades, it can really recavocphysically and certainly mentally. So we want
to acknowledge some of our fears.We want to have those tough conversations.
So I encourage you to have thetough conversations, push yourself past your comfort
zone so that ultimately you can liveyour best life. It's often tough just

(42:20):
for a little moment, and ifyou can push past that toughness, we'll
be amazed at what ensues beyond there. So tune in Thursdays here on Saga
nine sixty three pm for more ofthe Mindset Mentor shows. You can also
have a look at my YouTube channelif you'd like to watch a video of
our shows. Thanks for tuning inand make sure you live an extraordinary life.

(42:52):
No Radio, no Problem. Streamis live on Saga ninety six am
dot com.