July 9, 2025 • 55 mins
Faust A. Ruggiero’s professional career spans almost 40 years, and is diversified and compelling, as it has consistently established new and exciting cutting-edge counseling programs in its pursuit of professional excellence and personal life enhancement. He is a published research author, clinical trainer, and a therapist who has worked in settings that have included clinics for deaf children, prisons, nursing homes, substance abuse centers, inpatient facilities, major corporations, both national and international, and as the President of the Community Psychological Center in Bangor, Pennsylvania. In that capacity, he developed the Process Way of Life counseling program, and has developed it into a formal text presented in the Fix Yourself Handbook.
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Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/mission-evolution-with-gwilda-wiyaka--2888020/support.
Please note that all XZBN radio and/or television shows are Copyright © REL-MAR McConnell Meda Company, Niagara, Ontario, Canada – www.rel-mar.com. For more Episodes of this show and all shows produced, broadcasted and syndicated from REL-MAR McConell Media Company and The 'X' Zone Broadcast Network and the 'X' Zone TV Channell, visit www.xzbn.net. For programming, distribution, and syndication inquiries, email programming@xzbn.net.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to Mission Evolution Radio show with Guildawaka, bringing together
today's leading experts to uncover ever deepening spiritual truths and
the latest scientific developments in support of the evolution of humankind.
For more information on Mission Evolution Radio with Guildawaka, visit
www dot Mission Evolution dot RG and now here's the
(00:31):
host of Mission Evolution, Miss Gwildawiaka.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Anxiety and depression are growing problems in today's world. Modern
medicine and therapy haven't stopped the increase in these disabling conditions.
Is there a way we can help ourselves out of
anxiety and depression? Is this an anxiety and depression epidemic?
(01:00):
Mission Evolution Radio TV show is coming to you around
the world on the x on TV channel x z
TV dot CA with this hour to explore conquering anxiety
and depression. Is Fast Rgerio Fast is a published research author,
clinical trainer, and therapist who has developed the Processway of
Life counseling program. He's the author of six books, his
(01:24):
latest Fix Your Internal Language Handbook, his website Fostorgio dot com.
Fast thank you so much for coming on the show.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Well that it's a pleasure to be back Thanks so
much for inviting me.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
It's always wonderful having you on. I love your topic
and it's so important right now. So how'd you first
become interested in anxiety and depression? It seems like a
depressing subject, you know.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Well, you know, as a psychologist, that's what we do.
We see a lot of people and almost everyone comes
in with some measure of at least anxiety, some depression
for some people. You know, it's one of those things
that's very treatable and if people are willing to work,
you know, we always get them through it.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Well, it seems like you know, in many ways, anxiety
and depression they seem very very different. But how are
they related.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Well, both of them are based in the body. That's
one of the misnomers we see so much. We call
them mental health conditions. They're not really not. They will
affect mental health, but they start in the body, both
depression and anxiety neurotransmitters stimulating the brain, over stimulating them
sometimes not enough other times. So really, I always have
(02:40):
my people work on their physical physical part of this first.
I get all that in order, you know, proper diet
and exercise and sleep and all those types of things.
Purge what doesn't work, get healthy first, and usually when
when I do that, I've probably taken care of fifty
or sixty percent of the problem right there.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
That's interesting. I had not heard that it starts in
the body first, you know. I always thought it was
circumstances and then the body responds to that. It actually
starts in the body.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
You know, it always does. You know, if you ask
yourself the question, well, why does person A respond with
either anxiety depression get so worked up on something, and
someone else's person B goes through the same situation and
they don't react the same way.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
It is.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
It's an interaction with with the environment and your body.
But some bodies are just predisposed to react to anxiety
and to depression more often than the others. They're the
ones that are going to be the what if people
and oh my god people, and or the people that
ruminate over what happened in the past and can't get
over it, those types of things. But you'll find that
(03:48):
with all of with all these situations, if we calm
the body down, those mental aspects go down also. You know,
it's just the way it works. People think that I
think about it, then my body reacts. Yeah, but the
body also goes down. Then why does the body not,
you know, get to the point where it can relax again. Well,
(04:09):
it's a physical thing. We need to take care of that,
teach the body how to react to stressful situations, and
then help the person move through those.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I'm a real nature buff and I'm always I live
out in the middle of nowhere, and I'm always observing animals.
And one of the things that I see is I
can have a herd of deer up here and they're
they're grazing on the grass around my property, and here
comes coyote. Okay, and they'll they flap their tail, may run.
But if you follow them, you go over the next seat,
they're all chill and they're grazing. Again. We don't do that.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Why Because let's go back first to discuss that all
of us have that fight or flight syndrome. We all
do that the way that's that's that's a survival part
of us that we need to be. We need to engage.
But it's supposed to be one of those things that
lasts for a few minutes and then stops. When you
(05:04):
get into that physical anxiety I'm talking about the fight
or flight doesn't shut down. That's where the physical problem is.
For some people, it will. Some people will you know,
go through something strenuous and I'm one of those. You know,
my god, I'm running to this and I'm running to that,
and this happened. That happened. Then I can sit down
and do an interview like this and you'll say, I
don't even know this guy had a problem. Because we
(05:27):
teach ourselves the skills, we get it. We have our
bodies to the point that they're not overreacting. That fight
or flight is very damaging. It raises cortisol levels, which
as we know, are you know that they wreak havoc
with the body. So it's always physical. Even if your
mind is triggering your body, it's the same thing. Well,
(05:50):
let's get your body to the point that it doesn't
become triggered by this by it doesn't hold on to
the energy. And that's why we train the body first.
That doesn't mean we'd by all means that we don't
go into the mind. You know, I'm a psychologists, that's
what I do. But I'm preparing the palette. If you will,
you know that's what I'm doing. You know, if I'm
(06:10):
going to paint the picture, I want everything cleaned out.
I don't want to have junk all over my screen.
I'm preparing that first. Then I'm going into the mental things.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
So how much of this resides in childhood? I mean,
you know, we're brought up in circumstances, we see how
our parents react, we have the genetics that our parents do,
or we're in a traumatic circumstances children where we don't
dare relax. How much of that then is carried forward
in the body.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Well, it is. It's always that nature nurses nurture thing.
Of course, you know, we're the product of two parents typically,
and then so we have their biology. And you know,
when I see people, I'll go back and say, well,
let's go through the family history. Who had depression, and
who had anxiety, and who had these things? Whose mind
(07:00):
didn't turn off? And we always find someone back there.
So the biology is there. The other thing, though, that
we do, is we learn how to live like our
parents live. You know, I'll say to people, look, all right,
you have anxiety. Let's go through your morning. First of all,
did you sleep well? Well? No, I was up till
you know, midnight, and I was on my cell phone
(07:21):
and I got five hours of sleep. I said, okay,
so you start it wrong to begin with yourself. Did
not have enough time to rejuvenate and to become healthy.
Now what'd you do? Did you have breakfast?
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Couple?
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I have cup of a cup of coffee, and then
I had a little one later and I had I
had a bun or I had Okay, so your nutrition
was already off. Did you eat lunch? Probably not. Now
you ate a bigger supper and you munched all night. Okay,
so we know you're eating isn't where it needs to be.
Your body doesn't have what it needs to do.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
That.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Are you exercising? I walk okay every day? No, couple
times a week. So what you just told me is sleep, diet,
and exercise where it needs to be. How about if
we change that around. First, that's something your parents taught you.
Let's change that around. When I do that with them,
(08:14):
you know two things happen. One the body gets healthy,
but the second thing is the mind engages and starts
thinking about health, not being unhealthy. We train our minds
to think about unhealthy things and to live unhealthy, then
we go do it.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
So when we think of something unhealthy or traumatic, does
our body know it's not happening or is Does it
respond in the same way.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
The body and the brain are one, you know when
you think about it. The brain lives in the body.
It controls bodily things, and the body supports the brain.
So yeah, at all we know. But what happens is
there's this neat little thing that I teach in every
book and I've taught for years called habit formation normalization.
(09:04):
Essentially the body and the mind working together. The mind
sets well, I know that's not good for me, but
I know I like it. So now I normalize it,
and little by little it becomes what I do, even
though it's not good for me. The mind will help
me get what I want because that's its job. It's
(09:25):
to make me happy. So quick fixes and all those
things that I shouldn't do become the norm. But you know,
I always say, the quick fixes are like you know,
living on credit cards. You know, at the end of
the month, you pay and if you're gonna keep putting
all those things that make you happy quickly, they will
raise your anxiety level. You'll will even raise your depression level.
(09:48):
They'll raise your anger and your frustration, and they won't
help you change. That's the other part of it. You
don't get better because you're always getting better for the moment,
feeling better for the moment.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
It sounds like a vicious cycle. It is so how
large of a problem our anxiety and depression in the
world today? And why is it different to David fifty
years ago?
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Got a lot of reasons. I just touched on one,
and think back when we were kids. How much fast
food and chemical stuff and all that junk did we eat?
Dinner was prepared typically, home, life more together, the world
that we thought it moved all right. Our parents thought
this world is moving so fast it was. It was
(10:32):
a snail's pace then compared to now, the demands on
us to follow the crowd. We never shut down, we
never shut off. We go to work or school or
whatever it is, and we have our cell phones out.
We are connected all the time, reacting to everything we see,
and we are being led by media, which really has
(10:55):
taken us prisoner. You put all those things together, we
don't have a chance to catch our.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Breath, and it just seems like it is accelerating. You know,
it is week to week it's just there's always some
new AI or something that you've got to better study
this one, you know, because I don't want to be behind,
and you know, check on my emails and look at
my social media, and pretty soon hours have gone by
(11:20):
and you've sat there stressing about things and not getting
anything done.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Really, and that's the key. And when we were younger,
our parents weren't plugged into our life. They didn't even
accept half of it, so that they kept on pulling
us back to the slow part, to the think, to
the learn about this. Parents now are products of this
new information stage, so it's a norm for them to
be on iPads and computers and cell phones. So family
(11:47):
time is sacrifice. Then what the kids are doing that
doesn't allow them to unplug and slow down is exactly
what the parents are doing. I was I was in
a chiropractice office two weeks ago in a month and
a daughter were in there, and the mom came out
and sat down and for ten twelve minutes they were
(12:08):
together before they before someone picked them up. During that time,
they sat right next to each other and did not
exchange one word. They both stayed on cell phones, And
I thought to myself, my goodness, not even a word.
And people sometimes are quiet in waiting rooms, but I
mean mom and daughter, not a sound. They were both
(12:29):
locked into cell phones. That's what's happening at home. You know.
Kids go to school and whatever's happening, they're bullying, or
all the stuff they have to so intensely follow doesn't
shut off. When we were able to shut those things off,
they don't chut them off. So the same, this level
of living, this fast paced, accelerated life, never quits.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
And I see that, you know. And my grandchildren, it's
like their mother thinks she's doing the right thing to
drive them to this football practice into that, you know,
and it's like the whole family is just go, go, go, go,
go go, trying to meet the needs of all the children.
But are they those really needs or are they part
of the problem.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
They are part of the problem. You know. The sports,
even sports are wonderful for a child. You've learned so
many good things there. They never stopped. We would maybe
play baseball, and it was in the summertime, and then
you know, September would come and that was done. Maybe
the next group went into football, but maybe six months
of the year you weren't in an organized sport. Now
(13:33):
you are in that sport at intense levels with all
different kinds of training. So you've got to get to
the top level. And you're in it all all the time.
It's time for us.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
It's time for us to take a station break. We'll
be right back. Don't go away. This is Mission Evolution,
Mission evolution dot org. Whatever you do, don't panic with.
This is our discuss saying the devastating impact of depression
and anxiety is Faust Riguerre. He's the author a Fixed
(14:06):
Your Internal Language Handbook Fast. What is the difference, you know,
between anxiety and panic attacks.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Well, anxiety is typically a normal condition the way we
live our life. It's there typically every day. Most people
who get to the point of a panic attack are
anxious people to begin with, and then the anxiety will
begin to raise. Conditions of their lives may change, and
now they're experiencing what can feel like a heart attack,
(14:38):
can feel like intense chest pain, confusion, sweats. They can't
turn it off. You want to jump right out of
your own skin, and that people think that it elevates
you know, you'll feel the anxiety and go to a
panic attack panic attack can come in. You can be
(14:59):
sitting in way, people wake up in the middle of
the night to a panic attack. It's an over firing
of nervous energy in your body that you feel like
you can't shut it off. For some people that can
go out and walk around and kind of catch their
breath and maybe it begins to slow down. Other people
have to take a medicine in order to keep that
(15:20):
in check. But you know, really what the answer your
question is. The panic attack is anxiety that remains unchecked
for a long period of time and eventually gets to
the point that it's like a volcano and it just explodes.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
It's I didn't have an appreciation for panic attacks until
I actually had one. But mine was relate. I was fine,
I wasn't upset. I hadn't been in anxiety. But it
was after COVID. It was a long COVID effect. Have
you seen that because everybody I was at a class, okay,
and everybody that was in that class that I taught,
(15:54):
somebody came with it and we all broke down with it,
and a great number of them then had last panic
attacks afterwards. Have you seen any of that?
Speaker 3 (16:03):
I have after the pandemic. People think, okay, well it
was the virus, so maybe you didn't get the virus,
but it was being locked down. What really happened is
the world changed. That new normal, I'd like to call it.
We got to the point where now we over accelerated again.
But the other thing we did is we got impersonal
(16:25):
and we had no problem taking advantage of each other,
but be it engaging people for supplies in the way,
we don't connect anymore. We were moving in that direction
and gradually getting to the point that we were disconnecting.
But the pandemic said, okay, let's skip all these steps
(16:47):
and we'll get right to it, and we're going to disconnect.
And that traumatized many many people. It put families that
were not getting together together, you couldn't leave in sickness,
and we experienced financial problems and death, and came out
of that at a different place, particularly in this country,
(17:08):
at a different place where before we were a little
bit more trusting of the way our world was going
to evolve. All of a sudden we realized that nothing
is guaranteed, and we're in a whole different place.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Right We're sure living that right now, aren't we? So
what is the cause of the increasing anxiety and depression.
We've talked about it some, but we're seeing it across
the board. And so it's the fast pace. There's that,
but you know, and I can see the anxiety causing that.
But what was this? Where's this overwhelming depression coming from
(17:41):
that people are suffering from?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Interesting thing happened particularly We were started to see it
when the pandemic hit. But what we are now seeing
is that anxiety and depression are hitting the population at
much earlier ages. Now. That's so what we're doing as
opposed to an adult that says, ye, I never had anxiety,
(18:05):
but now I'm in my twenties and my thirties and
I'm really starting to get this and or something happened
in my twenties. We're getting kids come in the office
and a mother might call. I just had one last
week and said, I'd like to bring my daughter in.
She's experiencing anxiety. I said, how old? She said seven?
I said seven. I said, what do you say anxiety?
(18:26):
What do you mean? She's just paralyzed. She stays in
her room, she doesn't want to come out. All she
wants to do is lay in bed, or go on
her iPad and that's not an isolated case, not by
any means. So if we're going to experience this younger,
you know, we really have to gear this to treat
(18:47):
younger people. We haven't started to do that efficiently yet.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Do you feel like the diet that these young kids
are being fit? And I don't just mean the physical diet,
I mean the diet media is playing into that.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Oh. Absolutely. They're far more aware of things that kids
should never be aware of. They're talking politics, they're talking
about shootings, and they'd experienced shootings in their schools for
the last twenty years. It's not a safe place. It's
not a safe world. And you know, we've allowed so
(19:24):
many things you know that typically we would have said, wait,
wait a minute, let's look at this. For example, you've
seen the furries if you do know, if you know
what those are. This is where kids firmly believe that
they're animals there and parents were saying it's okay, you know,
they'll grow out of it. No, people don't normally think
(19:45):
that they're a cat, except some schools. We're talking about
putting litter boxes in place, so we're actually taking mental
health conditions and we're giving them some play as if
they were norms. We began to stretch norms into things that,
you know, and we started with things that were very
very very good, you know, where we were accepting different
(20:09):
sexualities and cultures, and but we got to the point
where we were accepting mental health conditions as they were normal.
And our kids were twelve and they were talking about
their sexuality. They're not ready for that, and we were
allowing that to continue rather than letting them talk about
(20:29):
it and not just giving in and saying, yes, you're fine,
we accept that in you. Let's give you time to develop.
Let's give you time to start understanding who you are,
rather than have you lock into a particular way of thinking.
We're just not We're just not treating them very delicately,
you know, we're just not. We think we're understanding them,
(20:50):
but giving them whatever they want is not understanding that
we need to let them talk through things and help
guide them. And that guidance factor has become minimized. So
we're allowing things to go because we think we're doing
the right thing by letting everyone live their own life.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Children have parents and need guidance. I mean that's our
role really up until they're you know, of an age
where they can make their own decisions in a reasonable way.
And yet we've totally lost sight of that. I mean,
I've seen situations and families where the kids are the
ones running the show and they aren't doing well because
of it. You know, they feel insecure and kind of
(21:28):
at a loss.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
You know, when we were kids, you're twelve, you're thirteen,
you're coming into your sexuality. You have no idea what
it is, and you know you just have to grow
with it. Now they're twelve and say well, I'm this,
I'm that, I'm a combination of this and that, and
we say, well, that's good, wonderful. No, it's not that.
(21:50):
When you're eighteen, you may say, yes, that that's exactly
what I am, and we say, okay, fine, you're working
through this through your adolescents. But to assign an identity
or have them assign an identity when they're twelve and
thirteen years old, it's too fast.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
And there's a lot of pressure to do so though
it is true.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Oh my god, yes, and you're not hearing someone say
that I have a problem with all these various identities.
My god, live, but get to the point where you
understand what you're living. We're allowing them to try too
much on for size at an early age, at a
time when we're going too fast, at a time when
parenting is not guiding the way it used to. They
(22:31):
are all these combinations. We're producing kids that are just
going to have problems, and we're seeing it. It's not
like I'm predicting something down the road.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
It's here, it's here, it's here, so you know. I
think this is a question in many of the audience
that our parents would like to ask, is how can
you tell when depression and anxiety is becoming a problem
for your child versus just a phase they're going through.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Well, see, this is what where parents get caught. They'll
look and say, well, how do I know if they're
anxious or depressed? And I say, if you think you're
not going to interact with your child and then somehow
you're going to read the symptoms down the road, you'll
always be way behind. The answer to the question is
parent closely every day. Talk to your children, know what's
(23:22):
going on in their lives. Ask them question. Don't just
say how with school today, how do you feel today.
That's not parenting. That's anything butt parenting. Sit them down
and let them know where their family time. If you
are taking them to their sporting practice or whatever and
it's a half hour drive, disconnect the buds and talk.
(23:46):
You have captive audience there. I'll take you there, but
we're going to talk on the way. You need to
keep to get back in touch and know your children.
You need to know them and you need to interact
with them every single day. Ask questions every day, interact
to get to know all the things they're doing. And
their friends ask bring up things like, gee, what did
(24:09):
you think about you know, the flood in texts that
just happened. Tell me about what that means to you.
Did you get let them emote for you? Let them
get those emotions out. That's how you know whether things
are going off track. But what you're trying, what most
parents are trying to do, is say, well, I think
they might be uh depressed because he's been in his
(24:30):
room for a couple of days, or or he's angry
with me. A lot of parents bring them in when
the child no longer is someone they can deal with.
Who the parents you know, the child's giving it back
to them and yelling back at them, and they're angry.
They say, well, I can't deal with this anymore. So
what you need.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Counts fix it. You feel right, I'm going to.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Bring it to you to somewhere because I can't deal
with it. But that's not the reason to bring your
child because you can't deal with it. You bring the
child because they're having some issues and you need to
know what those issues are.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Parents are so busy, do you think that's a huge
portion of it? Is like everything slides by because they're
so busy. They don't pay attention.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
That's the thing I don't buy. Yeah, you're busy, but
dog gone it. You had two hours to be on
your phone that night. You know, you're posting on Facebook,
you're doing all those kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You know.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Parents. You know, two parents brought their child in it
and said we just don't have time. And I said,
I look, and i'm they're on my Facebook list and
I look at them. And three nights a week they're
out and you see them at the diner or what
and you know they're raising their glasses and I said, well,
wait a minute, time out. How do you have time
to go out? And where are your kids when you
(25:46):
went out? And then they just look at me. You know,
by all means we have time, but we became selfish
parents who must have their self care and must have
their time to do all the various things they do.
Real parenting is sacrificing yourself. You sacrifice for your children.
(26:06):
You don't say I'm going to go out and you're
at home alone. You don't say, fine, go up in
your room. And when we built our house and we're
back at twenty five years ago, so computers weren't part
of this. And I didn't have telephones in their rooms.
I didn't have televisions in their rooms. There was one
television in the living room if you wanted to watch it.
We did it as a family. You didn't isolate in
(26:29):
your room because it was us in the isolate.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Fo. Yeah, I isolating seems to be the go to
at this point.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I did not buy video games for them. We had,
you know, things in the backyard, you know, basketball, We
went out and we did things together. We hiked and
we did we did all those things. So they didn't
have the you know, when they got to be teenagers,
I said, you know, you can get a video game.
But you're allowed to play that after schoolwork is done,
(26:59):
after you been outside, you know, get your friends over
if you want to, that's fine. You're not playing online
with friends. That's not happening. That's not friendship.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
You have to have interactions.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
I want I want contact. I want you to have interaction.
And you know, our basement here, we have basements in
this part of the country. Arts is finished, so we
had it wasn't common to have fifteen twenty kids in
my basement. And all the kids were there and I
told all the parents bring them over. I'm here, you know,
and the parents sometime their parents would come over. Well,
that's all we did it.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
It's time for us to take another station break fast
and I will be right back to continue our discussion.
So stay right there. This is Mission Evolution www. Mission
evolution dot org. Who said that this is Mission Evolution
Mission evolution dot org. With this discussing the rise and
anxiety and depression is Fast at Ruggiero his website fast
(27:53):
ugio dot com. Fast. Let's talk a little bit about
tapes or as you put them, internal language. We all
have certain things that go through our heads all the time.
And I would expect we're marginally aware of them, what's
going on there? And what can we learn from it?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Well, well, do you start with the notion that thought
the way we think, we think with language. You know,
we talk to ourselves, we talk about things. You know,
when I say I used to so humorous. I'd say
to people, do you talk to yourself? And they'd say, never,
not me, And I said, no, that's I'm not saying.
Do you have conversations and talk back? But you'd be
(28:35):
surprised how many people do. And that's how we solve problems,
that's how we work through situations that concern us, that's
how we make plans. But for some of us, that
internal dialogue gets angry and we use it to sometimes
get back at other people. Sometimes we have conversations in
(28:56):
our own minds with other people who are not present.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Uh is that that I should have said?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
That's part of it. Or it might be where you
actually have the conversation like you and I are having
right now, and you go through the back and forth. Uh,
you know, and you just tell that person off in
your own mind because you know so much energy is
stuck inside you, so to speak, you're you're you're something
(29:23):
has happened and you couldn't You felt victimized, you felt
abused or bullied, it wasn't fair, and you're angry.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
So how does it get stuck?
Speaker 3 (29:33):
It gets stuck because we never put closure on it.
We never get to the point that we say, all right,
let me let me talk to the other person. You know,
if you and I are having an issue, I said,
I would say, well, let's talk about this. I have
concerns about this, and so we don't confront. Well, so
we spin it in our minds. Well, what happens is
(29:53):
the person's never there. We're not good confronter, so we
keep on spinning it, and before you know it, we
are actually angry. I've seen panic attacks develop because people
are doing this in their minds. They just don't shut off.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Don't You also build a false reality because there's no
input of the other person's true stance.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
And that's the other key. You know, how many times
do you do? You do this in your mind and
you're so angry and you're having that conversation. Then for
some reason, maybe the other person starts the conversation, but
then you talk it out and then you walk away
saying well, that wasn't that bad. I should have done
that before or.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I didn't even understand what was going on?
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Right, So and you and how can you because you
didn't You're you're right. You did not ask that person
for their information. So everything you're processing is based upon
what you are thinking, not what not the whole piece,
not yours and mind, not not that that joint part
of the conversation. So it's it's it's information that's one sided.
(30:55):
It's emotional, it's angry often and uh, and it may
serve to get back at the other person or to
plan to get back to them, or at least to
make you feel as though you are no longer being bullied.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
So, but also the isolation we were talking about in
earlier segments, isn't that playing into it, because once again
you're just sitting there stewing in your own juices without
having any interaction.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Yeah. And see the thing about this is that when
we're thinking in our mind, it's not like we sit
back and say, I think I'll think about this now.
It just starts. That's the way the mind works. The
mind runs on autopilots, so to speak. It just starts
the thought. You can be in your car and you know,
and maybe you're thinking about this person at work, or
(31:43):
if you're in school, your schoolmate and things didn't go
well before you know, you're in that thought. Well, you
didn't say I'm going to get in my car and
think about that and spin that in my head. It
just happens. The other problem is once it starts, there
doesn't seem to be a brake pedal, no pause button.
We just keep ongoing and we can find ourselves in
(32:04):
that conversation for ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, going
over the thing over and over again with no solution.
And that's the problem. So you want to talk about anxiety.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
So there's another kind of tapes I'd like to talk
about you can shed some light on for us, and
that's the internal tapes we have about ourselves. So where
do those come from? And how damaging are they?
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Well, they can be wonderful depending on our language. If
I'm a person that says, well, gee, I don't do
a lot of that stuff, well, but I'm going to
formulate a plan, maybe get some help, and I'm going
to get better at that. I'm a good person, but
I just don't do that, well, that's one kind of tape.
The other one says, I never do anything right, no
(32:52):
matter what happens. I'm looking the dictionary, Murphy's law, there's
my picture, all that kind of stuff, spinning that over
in our head. Two things happen when we have a
horrible image of ourselfs. But even more damaging, we think
the rest of the world thinks that of us.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
We kind of created then we did.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
We created that. I call it a persona. We created
that internal persona of who we are, and that is
going to be what we believe and what we believe
others think about us, and then we will there's your
self fulfilling prophecy, will go be that person.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
So how much of that comes from what we were
told about ourselves growing up? Much never going to amount
to anything right?
Speaker 3 (33:37):
That or just negative environment that we lived in. We
heard negativity expressed all the time. We internalized that didn't
even have to be about us. It could be about
the world, could be about the neighborhood, the finances, anything.
It's just constant negativity. So rather than prepare ourselves or
at least try to be good, you know and feel good,
(33:58):
we knew, we figured we're going to down. And people
said all the time, I'm not preparing myself. I'm not
going to set myself up for something good. I'm ready
for whatever is going to happen.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
You set yourself up for something good, You're just setting
yourself up for disappointment. All those beliefs, and it seems like,
can't we just two people be living in the same world,
under the same circumstances, and depending on your mindset, one
is thriving and the other one's in the adult rooms.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
You can again, you want to make sure the anxiety
and depression aren't part of it. But you know, I
always tell people the worst enemy you can have, if
you will in a negative situation is yourself, because you
are fighting the same person you are trying to. You
need to take you out of this. The advice to
(34:45):
people is get it out of your head. If you're
spinning something, talk to someone, someone you trust, someone who
is not going to tell you what to do, just
wants to hear what you have to say. Spin it
for them and them to ask you questions about it.
Watch how things change, because you know, if I say,
well she did this to me, she's always like this.
(35:07):
The other person might say, well, let's look at that.
Give me how these things happen. Let's let's get the
whole thing on how the whole thing evolved, and then
I have to go back and I have to present
that and ask questions. Things tend to clear up. We
need to get it out of our heads. And if
you can't, you don't have someone close, go see a
counselor start dealing with those things.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
So how you know there are people that you know,
don't confuse me with the facts. My mind's made up.
It's like they're invested in the reality that they've spun
in their head. Does guilt drive that, Like if they
can make a villain, then they don't have to feel
guilty about what drives that.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
We'll give me a lot of predictive depends on the person.
It could be guilt for some people. For some people,
they're very used to being abused. And you know, when
a person internalizes abuse, they often abuse themselves or at
least put them selves in situations where you know abuse
can continue. Uh. So you know what, what what we
(36:07):
think about ourselves is what we're going to put out
there and then we live that thing.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
We also can it can be a product of anger.
You know, we were just angry people and doesn't matter
what happens, we look at it with anger, we respond
with anger. And in this world today, uh, just a
continuation of what we're talking before. If you look at it,
everyone's using anger before they even examine the facts. I
(36:33):
post this, and then the next person says you're right,
and that rotten and so and so, and the next
person does something. Then there's something sarcastic posted and everyone
believes they're bonding over anger and dysfunction. And now and
now we spend that conversation in our head believing that
it's empowering, believing that this government, that person, whatever it is,
(36:56):
did this. I'll do I'll say all these things and
then I'll bring it out and I feel powerful. I'm
not abusing me, No, you're abusing yourself. You don't need that.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
So going back to anxiety and depression, what are the
available treatments, what is the normal treatment? And is there
something wrong with it? Because obviously we're getting worse here.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Well, we need to get there as early as we can.
You know, if you're feeling bad, you know this, just
ask yourself the question is this what's happening and is
it happening a lot in my life? And then the
second question is can I stop this by myself?
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Not?
Speaker 3 (37:33):
And that doesn't mean do you want to be the
person that can stop it? You know, you're the guy
or the woman that says, now, I'll do this on
my own. If it's continuing, you're not doing it on
your own, make a call, Go talk to someone. At
least get in, get into a counselor's office and say,
let me talk about this with you. Maybe I need help,
(37:54):
maybe I don't, But at least I now know where
the resource is. I may use it now, I may
use it later, but I did something to come out
of my own head.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
At some point. You have to recognize the problem, though,
don't you.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Well, sometimes you can understand the problem, you can define that.
Sometimes you can't. What you do know is that you
are uncomfortable, You're in conflict, you're angry, you're anxious or depressed,
and it's not going away, you know, you know, it's
sort of like you know, the falset dripping. You're not
sure why, but it keeps on dripping. So you don't
always have to have the answer as to why it's happening,
(38:32):
and most times people don't. But you want to at
least say, Okay, I got to stop the drip. I
got to stop that in my head. So let me go.
Let me go talk to someone who has an expertise
in this, at the very least somewhat, a friend that
I really trust, who doesn't feed into the problem. Someone
who's posting angry items on the internet is not the
(38:53):
person to go to because you're doing it and you
feel rotten.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
So is it pretty common though, for people to campaig
and look for agreement in their misery.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Yeah, if you do some people again, we're back to
quick fixes. And I don't want to do all the
work that is involved. I don't want to admit that
I have the problem. That's another thing. So it's a
whole lot easier to say, yeah, don't you feel this way?
Oh yeah, I do, And then the other person does,
and now we all think it's normal. It's not. The
very fact that you're doing that tells you it's not normal.
(39:24):
If you're living a healthy life, then your relationships with
other people are positive. They're loving, their supportive. You know what.
The language that comes out of your mouth is it's good,
positive stuff designed to help other people and make you
feel good about yourself and them. Are you doing that?
(39:45):
If you're not, that tells you. That's another one of
those you know, those telltale signs.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
So if we go back to diet, how much is
the all the artificial stuff, chemicals and fast foods and
you know, overprocessed, how much is that affecting our brain chemistry?
And setting this up a lot.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
If we're now getting to the point that some companies
are removing food coloring because the connection to anxiety and
depression is now becoming documented. Other countries don't allow this.
Our FDA here allows a lot of different things they
shouldn't allowed. I just help someone get through the hospital
(40:27):
for a substance that you find in many of the
quick marks. Those kind of stuff something called kretom and
it's it is a powder from a tree or that
grows in Asia, extremely addicting for some reports will some
research say that it's ten times more powerful than morphine,
(40:51):
but our FDA hasn't touched it yet. Now that's one
of those things and kids go in because it's a
pick me up, legal and they can buy it at
any age.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
And they'll find it, They'll find it. Will Yeah, Well
it's time. It's time for us to take another station break.
Please stay with us. Is Faust and I continue to
explore anxiety, depression and possible solutions. This is Mission Evolution,
Mission evolution dot org. So how do we exercise the demon?
(41:24):
This is Mission Evolution, Mission evolution dot org. We're continuing
our discussion with Fast Rogueiro his website Faostregiro dot com.
Fast We've been talking and we've touched in on some
of the possible solutions. But if you are a person,
or if you are a parent of a person that
is really going downhill, you know, maybe even suicidal h
(41:49):
changing their diet may not be the first best first step.
What what what? What steps should you take.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
When it's when it's that bad, When it's that bad, Willie,
You're you're a point where you're all the stops out.
Now you're getting them help. For many people, the first
step is just getting them to their primary care physician.
They they may or may not be willing to get
to a counselor. But sometimes you got to be a
little bit forceful to you and I say, okay, you're
(42:15):
you know you're you're saying some things that that are
concerning me. You're not getting out of bed or going
to just go to the doctor and see that. And
I always said, just tell them something physically could be wrong.
Don't don't get into what's in your head because that's
going to scare them or or or push them even
farther closer to the edge. Just say, maybe something physical
(42:36):
is going on. Let's go find out and get them
to the doctor.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Because you know, a lot of particularly if you're dealing
with you know, pbscent teenagers or now like you say,
seven and eight year olds, they don't know what's wrong.
You know, oftentimes you say what's wrong, they don't know.
They just know you know it's bad, right well.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
And you're right, I mean, they they haven't developed the
communicator skill, communication skills to tell you this is it,
this is how I'm feeling, or or they may tell
you just enough to do, you know, to give you
those red flags. But I always you know, with our kids,
we always err on the side of caution. You know,
we didn't say okay, fine, you don't want to, I
(43:19):
won't what I can The first order of business, even
even about the kids, parents have to be willing to say,
I am putting my foot down, We're going to the doctor.
I you know, I don't want to have to go
to the doctor. I don't want to spend my time
and I've got to take you there and sit in
the waiting room. Parents don't want to do these things.
So be a parent that does that, says okay, we're
(43:44):
doing this, and then get them there and say you're
gonna go once and we're gonna see what the doctor says.
Because what you're doing is concerning me. You know, you're
not happy. You know, you're not involved in anything, you're disconnected.
We're gonna go find out make sure there's something that's
not you know. And you're right, hormones come into play
with kids that are that are just entering puberty, you know,
(44:07):
But again, we want to find out that there's nothing wrong.
The other thing is, you know, without scaring parents, your
kid is in their room and they're not coming out.
Maybe there is something physical, and maybe it's something serious,
tumors and all those kinds of things, and I don't
want to scare them. But if your child is off
(44:28):
the baseline, we say, their behavior is different than they
typically are, get them, go get them seen, do that
right away.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
How much more important is it now when we're seeing
all this dysfunction on all fronts? How much more important
is it now to take aggressive steps? And how can
you do it without alienating the child or the adult?
Speaker 3 (44:55):
Well, you're not going to alienate them, because if you're
there with you know you're forceful, but warm and loving.
You're simply saying, look, something is wrong. Let's go find
out what it is. I love you enough to do that.
And that's what I would tell my kids. I don't
want to. Yeah, you know what. You know, we're your parents,
(45:16):
We love you. Something is a miss here. Let's go
find out what it is. Okay, and if it's nothing,
that's great, we'll go out for ice cream whatever. But
let's go and find this and find out what's going on.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
So often I've heard the signs were all there and
I missed them. Yeah, now the child is gone. I
mean you know that we're hearing more and more and
more of that. Are we in a massive state of
denial that we miss the signs? What's going on?
Speaker 3 (45:46):
We're going too fast? As simple as that, we will
miss the signs. That's why I say in your home,
slow your your family down a bit at the very least.
You know, once a day, have a fifteen minute conversation,
get off your cell phone and have a fifteen minute
conversation with your kids. You know, and you know we're
(46:08):
asking to do it with kids. Parents themselves aren't doing it.
You know, they don't have that. You're going to start
at the top. You have to. You have to show
your kids you're willing to talk together and then talk
to them. Slow it down enough so you can make
the connections.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
So this sounds like for a lot of people, this faust.
This is going to be a huge life change because
you know, we've been living like this for a couple
of generations and like you said, normalized it. How difficult
is this going to be going to be to turn
it around in time?
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Well, my advice to people with that is the same
advice I always give you. Take one step at a time.
If you say, hey, every night, we're going to spend
this time together, We're going to talk a little bit.
You're not going to change anything in a week or
a month, but over time you're going to connect and
(47:00):
that's where the changes occur. Everything is incremental. That that
that works.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
The only time you're going to go you're not going
to go slow is as you say, this could be
a crisis, and then I'm we're gonna We're gonna act
on it. But I always, I always said, you know,
we did not want to be the parents who looked
back and said, God, the signs were all there and
we didn't do it. And I have probably half a
(47:27):
dozen people that I know friends that have lost kids.
And if it wasn't for suicide or drug abuse, it
was you know, they were so disconnected. The kid was
out late, there was the car accident, and and and
all the signs were there that the child was going
off off base. So you know, know them and give
(47:48):
them what give them your time. That's the key we say.
And this is nothing revolutionary that I'm saying here. We
bring them into the world. Our responsibility is to spend
time with them, not to have you know, other people
do it, not to drop them off somewhere, not to
give them their cell phone, let them go up in
(48:09):
their room, not to have them on video games till
we never connect, let them do it. Those things are
fine provided you connect.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
You have that connection time. So when we were talking
about the disconnected state of society. Basically, how much do
you think that that disconnected state is allowing for the
increased volatility and school shootings and you know, everything's getting
very violent and dehumanizing out there. How much of it
(48:41):
is because we're just so disconnected we don't recognize it.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
You just said it, you said a mouthful, the word
was dehumanizing. We don't empathize. We don't feel what other
people are feeling anymore because we're not contacting them. You know,
you don't feel what a person's feeling by spending time
on the internet or texting on your cell phone, you
(49:04):
feel them. In fact, I do almost all my counseling
in my office yet, because it's just the way to
do things. You see people, you touch them, you see
their body language. If they need a hug when they leave,
give them a hug. Even in the ranks of counseling,
we are now in an impersonal mode of counseling where
(49:25):
you log on and the counselor sitting on there, and
you know, maybe the counselor's cell phone is right in
front of them, yours might be, and all this is
going on for forty five or fifty minutes and there's
no physical contact. That's where the world is working. So
you're right dehumanizing. And I define that, I mean by
(49:49):
not being able to understand and empathize and feel what
another person feels.
Speaker 2 (49:55):
So then what we're doing is we're creating these individual
pockets of reality based on no input. And isn't that
alienating us from each other even further and causing polarization?
Speaker 3 (50:09):
Sure it is. You know, one of the the whether
one of the the most fearing things that people will
say is, oh my god, the machines are taking over.
The machines aren't taking over. We're just plugging into them.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
We're handing it over, right, right.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
We're handing it over. And then in that as we're
doing that, we're losing that so vital, that so loving
connection with other people. Well, then violence doesn't seem to
be a problem because it doesn't feel like a human
you're shooting or you're hurting. It's that thing, that that
entity out there that whatever whatever they did, caused you
(50:47):
to become angry enough to act out.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
And don't we go into this this is your department,
not mine, But don't we go into a different part
of our brain even when we've polarized so badly that
we're in fight or flight and we're seeing an enemy
around every corner.
Speaker 3 (51:02):
Yeah, we want to keep things, so to speak, in
the front cortex of our brain, where we're all reasoning.
Ability is all the primal stuff is in the back.
We're pushing our we're pushing our mode of action and
mode of operating back again being becoming more primal. And
again that along with fast paced and machinery and the
(51:22):
way we eat and all those things. Put it all together,
it becomes the world we've been living.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
In and one big modern myths. Right, So, what are
a myths about anxiety and depression that really need to
be addressed before treatment begins.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
The first myth is one I addressed in the beginning
of the show, which is, let's get to the body first.
Let's get that body healthy. If we get the body healthy,
then we know that we've moved. We at least address
that now. And that doesn't mean you can't go to
the mental health things first. What's going on in your life.
Your marriage is breaking up, the finance, is a job,
(52:01):
the kids, whatever it may be. We give that attention,
but we make sure that while we're doing that the
body and everything we're doing with the body is healthy.
We're purging what doesn't belong there. You know, again, if
you have anxiety, three cups of coffee a day isn't
helping you.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
So when you go into this, there's a phenomenon, and
I'm sure you're familiar with, known as a healing crisis. Okay,
So when you start to change a person's diet drastically,
sometimes that can cause things to get worse before they
get better. How do you deal with that?
Speaker 3 (52:35):
I do everything slowly. I never allow people to purge
everything at one time. If we're going to say coffee
and anxiety, I'm going to say, okay, how much coffee
you drink. Let's say it's three cups. I say, do
me a favor for the next three or four days,
make it two and a half. Then go to two two,
(52:55):
one and a half, and let's see how you're feeling.
You may actually get to the point that a couple
of coffee you don't have to get rid of it completely.
You may get to the point that one cup of
down is okay. You may not. We'll start there. We'll
start looking at your diet. How much sugar are you
consuming how much of the fast foods and the trans
fats and all those kinds of things that you know
(53:17):
can cause allergies, all the food coloring that cause allergies.
Sometimes it's an allergy that's causing your problems. Yeah, to
find out.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
Well, we're just about out of time fast, and so
I'd be remiss if I didn't ask you what's your
mission for me?
Speaker 3 (53:31):
My mission is to just what we said, to keep
people connected, to keep people in a frame of mind
where it's positive, where the way they live their life
becomes empowering internally not externally, and then they can turn
that power and that internal love outward to the rest
of the world.
Speaker 2 (53:52):
That's a beautiful mission because I don't think there was
ever a time when it was needed more to you.
Speaker 3 (53:57):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (53:58):
You're right, Yeah, it's it's this is a make or
break time, and I you know, what you're bringing gives
people some tools to make it instead of break it, right,
it does. Yeah, Well, Faus again, thank you so much
for joining us on the show, and hopefully we'll get
to get to talk to you next time you write
a new book.
Speaker 3 (54:18):
It sounds great. It has been wonderful.
Speaker 2 (54:20):
God bless God, Bless you. Our guest is hour has
been Faus Vergeiro. He's the author of six books, his
latest Ficture Internal Language Handbook, a published research author, clinical
trainer and therapist. To find out more about Faust, his
books and all he has to offer, visit his website
foulestrogio dot com. This has been Mission Evolution with Gouldoweka.
(54:44):
For more information or to enjoy past archived episodes, visit
www dot Mission evolution dot org. But please be sure
to join us right again here next time on Xon
TV channel xzetv dot ca A, where this mission will
continue bringing information, resources and support to an evolving world.
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today's leading experts to uncover ever deepening spiritual truths and
the latest scientific developments in support of the evolution of humankind.
For more information on Mission Evolution Radio with Guildawaka, visit
www dot Mission Evolution dot RG and now here's the
(00:31):
host of Mission Evolution, Miss Gwildawiaka.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Anxiety and depression are growing problems in today's world. Modern
medicine and therapy haven't stopped the increase in these disabling conditions.
Is there a way we can help ourselves out of
anxiety and depression? Is this an anxiety and depression epidemic?
(01:00):
Mission Evolution Radio TV show is coming to you around
the world on the x on TV channel x z
TV dot CA with this hour to explore conquering anxiety
and depression. Is Fast Rgerio Fast is a published research author,
clinical trainer, and therapist who has developed the Processway of
Life counseling program. He's the author of six books, his
(01:24):
latest Fix Your Internal Language Handbook, his website Fostorgio dot com.
Fast thank you so much for coming on the show.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Well that it's a pleasure to be back Thanks so
much for inviting me.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
It's always wonderful having you on. I love your topic
and it's so important right now. So how'd you first
become interested in anxiety and depression? It seems like a
depressing subject, you know.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Well, you know, as a psychologist, that's what we do.
We see a lot of people and almost everyone comes
in with some measure of at least anxiety, some depression
for some people. You know, it's one of those things
that's very treatable and if people are willing to work,
you know, we always get them through it.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Well, it seems like you know, in many ways, anxiety
and depression they seem very very different. But how are
they related.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Well, both of them are based in the body. That's
one of the misnomers we see so much. We call
them mental health conditions. They're not really not. They will
affect mental health, but they start in the body, both
depression and anxiety neurotransmitters stimulating the brain, over stimulating them
sometimes not enough other times. So really, I always have
(02:40):
my people work on their physical physical part of this first.
I get all that in order, you know, proper diet
and exercise and sleep and all those types of things.
Purge what doesn't work, get healthy first, and usually when
when I do that, I've probably taken care of fifty
or sixty percent of the problem right there.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
That's interesting. I had not heard that it starts in
the body first, you know. I always thought it was
circumstances and then the body responds to that. It actually
starts in the body.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
You know, it always does. You know, if you ask
yourself the question, well, why does person A respond with
either anxiety depression get so worked up on something, and
someone else's person B goes through the same situation and
they don't react the same way.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
It is.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
It's an interaction with with the environment and your body.
But some bodies are just predisposed to react to anxiety
and to depression more often than the others. They're the
ones that are going to be the what if people
and oh my god people, and or the people that
ruminate over what happened in the past and can't get
over it, those types of things. But you'll find that
(03:48):
with all of with all these situations, if we calm
the body down, those mental aspects go down also. You know,
it's just the way it works. People think that I
think about it, then my body reacts. Yeah, but the
body also goes down. Then why does the body not,
you know, get to the point where it can relax again. Well,
(04:09):
it's a physical thing. We need to take care of that,
teach the body how to react to stressful situations, and
then help the person move through those.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I'm a real nature buff and I'm always I live
out in the middle of nowhere, and I'm always observing animals.
And one of the things that I see is I
can have a herd of deer up here and they're
they're grazing on the grass around my property, and here
comes coyote. Okay, and they'll they flap their tail, may run.
But if you follow them, you go over the next seat,
they're all chill and they're grazing. Again. We don't do that.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Why Because let's go back first to discuss that all
of us have that fight or flight syndrome. We all
do that the way that's that's that's a survival part
of us that we need to be. We need to engage.
But it's supposed to be one of those things that
lasts for a few minutes and then stops. When you
(05:04):
get into that physical anxiety I'm talking about the fight
or flight doesn't shut down. That's where the physical problem is.
For some people, it will. Some people will you know,
go through something strenuous and I'm one of those. You know,
my god, I'm running to this and I'm running to that,
and this happened. That happened. Then I can sit down
and do an interview like this and you'll say, I
don't even know this guy had a problem. Because we
(05:27):
teach ourselves the skills, we get it. We have our
bodies to the point that they're not overreacting. That fight
or flight is very damaging. It raises cortisol levels, which
as we know, are you know that they wreak havoc
with the body. So it's always physical. Even if your
mind is triggering your body, it's the same thing. Well,
(05:50):
let's get your body to the point that it doesn't
become triggered by this by it doesn't hold on to
the energy. And that's why we train the body first.
That doesn't mean we'd by all means that we don't
go into the mind. You know, I'm a psychologists, that's
what I do. But I'm preparing the palette. If you will,
you know that's what I'm doing. You know, if I'm
(06:10):
going to paint the picture, I want everything cleaned out.
I don't want to have junk all over my screen.
I'm preparing that first. Then I'm going into the mental things.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
So how much of this resides in childhood? I mean,
you know, we're brought up in circumstances, we see how
our parents react, we have the genetics that our parents do,
or we're in a traumatic circumstances children where we don't
dare relax. How much of that then is carried forward
in the body.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Well, it is. It's always that nature nurses nurture thing.
Of course, you know, we're the product of two parents typically,
and then so we have their biology. And you know,
when I see people, I'll go back and say, well,
let's go through the family history. Who had depression, and
who had anxiety, and who had these things? Whose mind
(07:00):
didn't turn off? And we always find someone back there.
So the biology is there. The other thing, though, that
we do, is we learn how to live like our
parents live. You know, I'll say to people, look, all right,
you have anxiety. Let's go through your morning. First of all,
did you sleep well? Well? No, I was up till
you know, midnight, and I was on my cell phone
(07:21):
and I got five hours of sleep. I said, okay,
so you start it wrong to begin with yourself. Did
not have enough time to rejuvenate and to become healthy.
Now what'd you do? Did you have breakfast?
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Couple?
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I have cup of a cup of coffee, and then
I had a little one later and I had I
had a bun or I had Okay, so your nutrition
was already off. Did you eat lunch? Probably not. Now
you ate a bigger supper and you munched all night. Okay,
so we know you're eating isn't where it needs to be.
Your body doesn't have what it needs to do.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
That.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Are you exercising? I walk okay every day? No, couple
times a week. So what you just told me is sleep, diet,
and exercise where it needs to be. How about if
we change that around. First, that's something your parents taught you.
Let's change that around. When I do that with them,
(08:14):
you know two things happen. One the body gets healthy,
but the second thing is the mind engages and starts
thinking about health, not being unhealthy. We train our minds
to think about unhealthy things and to live unhealthy, then
we go do it.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
So when we think of something unhealthy or traumatic, does
our body know it's not happening or is Does it
respond in the same way.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
The body and the brain are one, you know when
you think about it. The brain lives in the body.
It controls bodily things, and the body supports the brain.
So yeah, at all we know. But what happens is
there's this neat little thing that I teach in every
book and I've taught for years called habit formation normalization.
(09:04):
Essentially the body and the mind working together. The mind
sets well, I know that's not good for me, but
I know I like it. So now I normalize it,
and little by little it becomes what I do, even
though it's not good for me. The mind will help
me get what I want because that's its job. It's
(09:25):
to make me happy. So quick fixes and all those
things that I shouldn't do become the norm. But you know,
I always say, the quick fixes are like you know,
living on credit cards. You know, at the end of
the month, you pay and if you're gonna keep putting
all those things that make you happy quickly, they will
raise your anxiety level. You'll will even raise your depression level.
(09:48):
They'll raise your anger and your frustration, and they won't
help you change. That's the other part of it. You
don't get better because you're always getting better for the moment,
feeling better for the moment.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
It sounds like a vicious cycle. It is so how
large of a problem our anxiety and depression in the
world today? And why is it different to David fifty
years ago?
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Got a lot of reasons. I just touched on one,
and think back when we were kids. How much fast
food and chemical stuff and all that junk did we eat?
Dinner was prepared typically, home, life more together, the world
that we thought it moved all right. Our parents thought
this world is moving so fast it was. It was
(10:32):
a snail's pace then compared to now, the demands on
us to follow the crowd. We never shut down, we
never shut off. We go to work or school or
whatever it is, and we have our cell phones out.
We are connected all the time, reacting to everything we see,
and we are being led by media, which really has
(10:55):
taken us prisoner. You put all those things together, we
don't have a chance to catch our.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Breath, and it just seems like it is accelerating. You know,
it is week to week it's just there's always some
new AI or something that you've got to better study
this one, you know, because I don't want to be behind,
and you know, check on my emails and look at
my social media, and pretty soon hours have gone by
(11:20):
and you've sat there stressing about things and not getting
anything done.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Really, and that's the key. And when we were younger,
our parents weren't plugged into our life. They didn't even
accept half of it, so that they kept on pulling
us back to the slow part, to the think, to
the learn about this. Parents now are products of this
new information stage, so it's a norm for them to
be on iPads and computers and cell phones. So family
(11:47):
time is sacrifice. Then what the kids are doing that
doesn't allow them to unplug and slow down is exactly
what the parents are doing. I was I was in
a chiropractice office two weeks ago in a month and
a daughter were in there, and the mom came out
and sat down and for ten twelve minutes they were
(12:08):
together before they before someone picked them up. During that time,
they sat right next to each other and did not
exchange one word. They both stayed on cell phones, And
I thought to myself, my goodness, not even a word.
And people sometimes are quiet in waiting rooms, but I
mean mom and daughter, not a sound. They were both
(12:29):
locked into cell phones. That's what's happening at home. You know.
Kids go to school and whatever's happening, they're bullying, or
all the stuff they have to so intensely follow doesn't
shut off. When we were able to shut those things off,
they don't chut them off. So the same, this level
of living, this fast paced, accelerated life, never quits.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
And I see that, you know. And my grandchildren, it's
like their mother thinks she's doing the right thing to
drive them to this football practice into that, you know,
and it's like the whole family is just go, go, go, go,
go go, trying to meet the needs of all the children.
But are they those really needs or are they part
of the problem.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
They are part of the problem. You know. The sports,
even sports are wonderful for a child. You've learned so
many good things there. They never stopped. We would maybe
play baseball, and it was in the summertime, and then
you know, September would come and that was done. Maybe
the next group went into football, but maybe six months
of the year you weren't in an organized sport. Now
(13:33):
you are in that sport at intense levels with all
different kinds of training. So you've got to get to
the top level. And you're in it all all the time.
It's time for us.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
It's time for us to take a station break. We'll
be right back. Don't go away. This is Mission Evolution,
Mission evolution dot org. Whatever you do, don't panic with.
This is our discuss saying the devastating impact of depression
and anxiety is Faust Riguerre. He's the author a Fixed
(14:06):
Your Internal Language Handbook Fast. What is the difference, you know,
between anxiety and panic attacks.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Well, anxiety is typically a normal condition the way we
live our life. It's there typically every day. Most people
who get to the point of a panic attack are
anxious people to begin with, and then the anxiety will
begin to raise. Conditions of their lives may change, and
now they're experiencing what can feel like a heart attack,
(14:38):
can feel like intense chest pain, confusion, sweats. They can't
turn it off. You want to jump right out of
your own skin, and that people think that it elevates
you know, you'll feel the anxiety and go to a
panic attack panic attack can come in. You can be
(14:59):
sitting in way, people wake up in the middle of
the night to a panic attack. It's an over firing
of nervous energy in your body that you feel like
you can't shut it off. For some people that can
go out and walk around and kind of catch their
breath and maybe it begins to slow down. Other people
have to take a medicine in order to keep that
(15:20):
in check. But you know, really what the answer your
question is. The panic attack is anxiety that remains unchecked
for a long period of time and eventually gets to
the point that it's like a volcano and it just explodes.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
It's I didn't have an appreciation for panic attacks until
I actually had one. But mine was relate. I was fine,
I wasn't upset. I hadn't been in anxiety. But it
was after COVID. It was a long COVID effect. Have
you seen that because everybody I was at a class, okay,
and everybody that was in that class that I taught,
(15:54):
somebody came with it and we all broke down with it,
and a great number of them then had last panic
attacks afterwards. Have you seen any of that?
Speaker 3 (16:03):
I have after the pandemic. People think, okay, well it
was the virus, so maybe you didn't get the virus,
but it was being locked down. What really happened is
the world changed. That new normal, I'd like to call it.
We got to the point where now we over accelerated again.
But the other thing we did is we got impersonal
(16:25):
and we had no problem taking advantage of each other,
but be it engaging people for supplies in the way,
we don't connect anymore. We were moving in that direction
and gradually getting to the point that we were disconnecting.
But the pandemic said, okay, let's skip all these steps
(16:47):
and we'll get right to it, and we're going to disconnect.
And that traumatized many many people. It put families that
were not getting together together, you couldn't leave in sickness,
and we experienced financial problems and death, and came out
of that at a different place, particularly in this country,
(17:08):
at a different place where before we were a little
bit more trusting of the way our world was going
to evolve. All of a sudden we realized that nothing
is guaranteed, and we're in a whole different place.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Right We're sure living that right now, aren't we? So
what is the cause of the increasing anxiety and depression.
We've talked about it some, but we're seeing it across
the board. And so it's the fast pace. There's that,
but you know, and I can see the anxiety causing that.
But what was this? Where's this overwhelming depression coming from
(17:41):
that people are suffering from?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Interesting thing happened particularly We were started to see it
when the pandemic hit. But what we are now seeing
is that anxiety and depression are hitting the population at
much earlier ages. Now. That's so what we're doing as
opposed to an adult that says, ye, I never had anxiety,
(18:05):
but now I'm in my twenties and my thirties and
I'm really starting to get this and or something happened
in my twenties. We're getting kids come in the office
and a mother might call. I just had one last
week and said, I'd like to bring my daughter in.
She's experiencing anxiety. I said, how old? She said seven?
I said seven. I said, what do you say anxiety?
(18:26):
What do you mean? She's just paralyzed. She stays in
her room, she doesn't want to come out. All she
wants to do is lay in bed, or go on
her iPad and that's not an isolated case, not by
any means. So if we're going to experience this younger,
you know, we really have to gear this to treat
(18:47):
younger people. We haven't started to do that efficiently yet.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Do you feel like the diet that these young kids
are being fit? And I don't just mean the physical diet,
I mean the diet media is playing into that.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Oh. Absolutely. They're far more aware of things that kids
should never be aware of. They're talking politics, they're talking
about shootings, and they'd experienced shootings in their schools for
the last twenty years. It's not a safe place. It's
not a safe world. And you know, we've allowed so
(19:24):
many things you know that typically we would have said, wait,
wait a minute, let's look at this. For example, you've
seen the furries if you do know, if you know
what those are. This is where kids firmly believe that
they're animals there and parents were saying it's okay, you know,
they'll grow out of it. No, people don't normally think
(19:45):
that they're a cat, except some schools. We're talking about
putting litter boxes in place, so we're actually taking mental
health conditions and we're giving them some play as if
they were norms. We began to stretch norms into things that,
you know, and we started with things that were very
very very good, you know, where we were accepting different
(20:09):
sexualities and cultures, and but we got to the point
where we were accepting mental health conditions as they were normal.
And our kids were twelve and they were talking about
their sexuality. They're not ready for that, and we were
allowing that to continue rather than letting them talk about
(20:29):
it and not just giving in and saying, yes, you're fine,
we accept that in you. Let's give you time to develop.
Let's give you time to start understanding who you are,
rather than have you lock into a particular way of thinking.
We're just not We're just not treating them very delicately,
you know, we're just not. We think we're understanding them,
(20:50):
but giving them whatever they want is not understanding that
we need to let them talk through things and help
guide them. And that guidance factor has become minimized. So
we're allowing things to go because we think we're doing
the right thing by letting everyone live their own life.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Children have parents and need guidance. I mean that's our
role really up until they're you know, of an age
where they can make their own decisions in a reasonable way.
And yet we've totally lost sight of that. I mean,
I've seen situations and families where the kids are the
ones running the show and they aren't doing well because
of it. You know, they feel insecure and kind of
(21:28):
at a loss.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
You know, when we were kids, you're twelve, you're thirteen,
you're coming into your sexuality. You have no idea what
it is, and you know you just have to grow
with it. Now they're twelve and say well, I'm this,
I'm that, I'm a combination of this and that, and
we say, well, that's good, wonderful. No, it's not that.
(21:50):
When you're eighteen, you may say, yes, that that's exactly
what I am, and we say, okay, fine, you're working
through this through your adolescents. But to assign an identity
or have them assign an identity when they're twelve and
thirteen years old, it's too fast.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
And there's a lot of pressure to do so though
it is true.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Oh my god, yes, and you're not hearing someone say
that I have a problem with all these various identities.
My god, live, but get to the point where you
understand what you're living. We're allowing them to try too
much on for size at an early age, at a
time when we're going too fast, at a time when
parenting is not guiding the way it used to. They
(22:31):
are all these combinations. We're producing kids that are just
going to have problems, and we're seeing it. It's not
like I'm predicting something down the road.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
It's here, it's here, it's here, so you know. I
think this is a question in many of the audience
that our parents would like to ask, is how can
you tell when depression and anxiety is becoming a problem
for your child versus just a phase they're going through.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Well, see, this is what where parents get caught. They'll
look and say, well, how do I know if they're
anxious or depressed? And I say, if you think you're
not going to interact with your child and then somehow
you're going to read the symptoms down the road, you'll
always be way behind. The answer to the question is
parent closely every day. Talk to your children, know what's
(23:22):
going on in their lives. Ask them question. Don't just
say how with school today, how do you feel today.
That's not parenting. That's anything butt parenting. Sit them down
and let them know where their family time. If you
are taking them to their sporting practice or whatever and
it's a half hour drive, disconnect the buds and talk.
(23:46):
You have captive audience there. I'll take you there, but
we're going to talk on the way. You need to
keep to get back in touch and know your children.
You need to know them and you need to interact
with them every single day. Ask questions every day, interact
to get to know all the things they're doing. And
their friends ask bring up things like, gee, what did
(24:09):
you think about you know, the flood in texts that
just happened. Tell me about what that means to you.
Did you get let them emote for you? Let them
get those emotions out. That's how you know whether things
are going off track. But what you're trying, what most
parents are trying to do, is say, well, I think
they might be uh depressed because he's been in his
(24:30):
room for a couple of days, or or he's angry
with me. A lot of parents bring them in when
the child no longer is someone they can deal with.
Who the parents you know, the child's giving it back
to them and yelling back at them, and they're angry.
They say, well, I can't deal with this anymore. So
what you need.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Counts fix it. You feel right, I'm going to.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Bring it to you to somewhere because I can't deal
with it. But that's not the reason to bring your
child because you can't deal with it. You bring the
child because they're having some issues and you need to
know what those issues are.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Parents are so busy, do you think that's a huge
portion of it? Is like everything slides by because they're
so busy. They don't pay attention.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
That's the thing I don't buy. Yeah, you're busy, but
dog gone it. You had two hours to be on
your phone that night. You know, you're posting on Facebook,
you're doing all those kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You know.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Parents. You know, two parents brought their child in it
and said we just don't have time. And I said,
I look, and i'm they're on my Facebook list and
I look at them. And three nights a week they're
out and you see them at the diner or what
and you know they're raising their glasses and I said, well,
wait a minute, time out. How do you have time
to go out? And where are your kids when you
(25:46):
went out? And then they just look at me. You know,
by all means we have time, but we became selfish
parents who must have their self care and must have
their time to do all the various things they do.
Real parenting is sacrificing yourself. You sacrifice for your children.
(26:06):
You don't say I'm going to go out and you're
at home alone. You don't say, fine, go up in
your room. And when we built our house and we're
back at twenty five years ago, so computers weren't part
of this. And I didn't have telephones in their rooms.
I didn't have televisions in their rooms. There was one
television in the living room if you wanted to watch it.
We did it as a family. You didn't isolate in
(26:29):
your room because it was us in the isolate.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Fo. Yeah, I isolating seems to be the go to
at this point.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I did not buy video games for them. We had,
you know, things in the backyard, you know, basketball, We
went out and we did things together. We hiked and
we did we did all those things. So they didn't
have the you know, when they got to be teenagers,
I said, you know, you can get a video game.
But you're allowed to play that after schoolwork is done,
(26:59):
after you been outside, you know, get your friends over
if you want to, that's fine. You're not playing online
with friends. That's not happening. That's not friendship.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
You have to have interactions.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
I want I want contact. I want you to have interaction.
And you know, our basement here, we have basements in
this part of the country. Arts is finished, so we
had it wasn't common to have fifteen twenty kids in
my basement. And all the kids were there and I
told all the parents bring them over. I'm here, you know,
and the parents sometime their parents would come over. Well,
that's all we did it.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
It's time for us to take another station break fast
and I will be right back to continue our discussion.
So stay right there. This is Mission Evolution www. Mission
evolution dot org. Who said that this is Mission Evolution
Mission evolution dot org. With this discussing the rise and
anxiety and depression is Fast at Ruggiero his website fast
(27:53):
ugio dot com. Fast. Let's talk a little bit about
tapes or as you put them, internal language. We all
have certain things that go through our heads all the time.
And I would expect we're marginally aware of them, what's
going on there? And what can we learn from it?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Well, well, do you start with the notion that thought
the way we think, we think with language. You know,
we talk to ourselves, we talk about things. You know,
when I say I used to so humorous. I'd say
to people, do you talk to yourself? And they'd say, never,
not me, And I said, no, that's I'm not saying.
Do you have conversations and talk back? But you'd be
(28:35):
surprised how many people do. And that's how we solve problems,
that's how we work through situations that concern us, that's
how we make plans. But for some of us, that
internal dialogue gets angry and we use it to sometimes
get back at other people. Sometimes we have conversations in
(28:56):
our own minds with other people who are not present.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Uh is that that I should have said?
Speaker 3 (29:03):
That's part of it. Or it might be where you
actually have the conversation like you and I are having
right now, and you go through the back and forth. Uh,
you know, and you just tell that person off in
your own mind because you know so much energy is
stuck inside you, so to speak, you're you're you're something
(29:23):
has happened and you couldn't You felt victimized, you felt
abused or bullied, it wasn't fair, and you're angry.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
So how does it get stuck?
Speaker 3 (29:33):
It gets stuck because we never put closure on it.
We never get to the point that we say, all right,
let me let me talk to the other person. You know,
if you and I are having an issue, I said,
I would say, well, let's talk about this. I have
concerns about this, and so we don't confront. Well, so
we spin it in our minds. Well, what happens is
(29:53):
the person's never there. We're not good confronter, so we
keep on spinning it, and before you know it, we
are actually angry. I've seen panic attacks develop because people
are doing this in their minds. They just don't shut off.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Don't You also build a false reality because there's no
input of the other person's true stance.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
And that's the other key. You know, how many times
do you do? You do this in your mind and
you're so angry and you're having that conversation. Then for
some reason, maybe the other person starts the conversation, but
then you talk it out and then you walk away
saying well, that wasn't that bad. I should have done
that before or.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I didn't even understand what was going on?
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Right, So and you and how can you because you
didn't You're you're right. You did not ask that person
for their information. So everything you're processing is based upon
what you are thinking, not what not the whole piece,
not yours and mind, not not that that joint part
of the conversation. So it's it's it's information that's one sided.
(30:55):
It's emotional, it's angry often and uh, and it may
serve to get back at the other person or to
plan to get back to them, or at least to
make you feel as though you are no longer being bullied.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
So, but also the isolation we were talking about in
earlier segments, isn't that playing into it, because once again
you're just sitting there stewing in your own juices without
having any interaction.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Yeah. And see the thing about this is that when
we're thinking in our mind, it's not like we sit
back and say, I think I'll think about this now.
It just starts. That's the way the mind works. The
mind runs on autopilots, so to speak. It just starts
the thought. You can be in your car and you know,
and maybe you're thinking about this person at work, or
(31:43):
if you're in school, your schoolmate and things didn't go
well before you know, you're in that thought. Well, you
didn't say I'm going to get in my car and
think about that and spin that in my head. It
just happens. The other problem is once it starts, there
doesn't seem to be a brake pedal, no pause button.
We just keep ongoing and we can find ourselves in
(32:04):
that conversation for ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, going
over the thing over and over again with no solution.
And that's the problem. So you want to talk about anxiety.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
So there's another kind of tapes I'd like to talk
about you can shed some light on for us, and
that's the internal tapes we have about ourselves. So where
do those come from? And how damaging are they?
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Well, they can be wonderful depending on our language. If
I'm a person that says, well, gee, I don't do
a lot of that stuff, well, but I'm going to
formulate a plan, maybe get some help, and I'm going
to get better at that. I'm a good person, but
I just don't do that, well, that's one kind of tape.
The other one says, I never do anything right, no
(32:52):
matter what happens. I'm looking the dictionary, Murphy's law, there's
my picture, all that kind of stuff, spinning that over
in our head. Two things happen when we have a
horrible image of ourselfs. But even more damaging, we think
the rest of the world thinks that of us.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
We kind of created then we did.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
We created that. I call it a persona. We created
that internal persona of who we are, and that is
going to be what we believe and what we believe
others think about us, and then we will there's your
self fulfilling prophecy, will go be that person.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
So how much of that comes from what we were
told about ourselves growing up? Much never going to amount
to anything right?
Speaker 3 (33:37):
That or just negative environment that we lived in. We
heard negativity expressed all the time. We internalized that didn't
even have to be about us. It could be about
the world, could be about the neighborhood, the finances, anything.
It's just constant negativity. So rather than prepare ourselves or
at least try to be good, you know and feel good,
(33:58):
we knew, we figured we're going to down. And people
said all the time, I'm not preparing myself. I'm not
going to set myself up for something good. I'm ready
for whatever is going to happen.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
You set yourself up for something good, You're just setting
yourself up for disappointment. All those beliefs, and it seems like,
can't we just two people be living in the same world,
under the same circumstances, and depending on your mindset, one
is thriving and the other one's in the adult rooms.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
You can again, you want to make sure the anxiety
and depression aren't part of it. But you know, I
always tell people the worst enemy you can have, if
you will in a negative situation is yourself, because you
are fighting the same person you are trying to. You
need to take you out of this. The advice to
(34:45):
people is get it out of your head. If you're
spinning something, talk to someone, someone you trust, someone who
is not going to tell you what to do, just
wants to hear what you have to say. Spin it
for them and them to ask you questions about it.
Watch how things change, because you know, if I say,
well she did this to me, she's always like this.
(35:07):
The other person might say, well, let's look at that.
Give me how these things happen. Let's let's get the
whole thing on how the whole thing evolved, and then
I have to go back and I have to present
that and ask questions. Things tend to clear up. We
need to get it out of our heads. And if
you can't, you don't have someone close, go see a
counselor start dealing with those things.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
So how you know there are people that you know,
don't confuse me with the facts. My mind's made up.
It's like they're invested in the reality that they've spun
in their head. Does guilt drive that, Like if they
can make a villain, then they don't have to feel
guilty about what drives that.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
We'll give me a lot of predictive depends on the person.
It could be guilt for some people. For some people,
they're very used to being abused. And you know, when
a person internalizes abuse, they often abuse themselves or at
least put them selves in situations where you know abuse
can continue. Uh. So you know what, what what we
(36:07):
think about ourselves is what we're going to put out
there and then we live that thing.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
We also can it can be a product of anger.
You know, we were just angry people and doesn't matter
what happens, we look at it with anger, we respond
with anger. And in this world today, uh, just a
continuation of what we're talking before. If you look at it,
everyone's using anger before they even examine the facts. I
(36:33):
post this, and then the next person says you're right,
and that rotten and so and so, and the next
person does something. Then there's something sarcastic posted and everyone
believes they're bonding over anger and dysfunction. And now and
now we spend that conversation in our head believing that
it's empowering, believing that this government, that person, whatever it is,
(36:56):
did this. I'll do I'll say all these things and
then I'll bring it out and I feel powerful. I'm
not abusing me, No, you're abusing yourself. You don't need that.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
So going back to anxiety and depression, what are the
available treatments, what is the normal treatment? And is there
something wrong with it? Because obviously we're getting worse here.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Well, we need to get there as early as we can.
You know, if you're feeling bad, you know this, just
ask yourself the question is this what's happening and is
it happening a lot in my life? And then the
second question is can I stop this by myself?
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Not?
Speaker 3 (37:33):
And that doesn't mean do you want to be the
person that can stop it? You know, you're the guy
or the woman that says, now, I'll do this on
my own. If it's continuing, you're not doing it on
your own, make a call, Go talk to someone. At
least get in, get into a counselor's office and say,
let me talk about this with you. Maybe I need help,
(37:54):
maybe I don't, But at least I now know where
the resource is. I may use it now, I may
use it later, but I did something to come out
of my own head.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
At some point. You have to recognize the problem, though,
don't you.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Well, sometimes you can understand the problem, you can define that.
Sometimes you can't. What you do know is that you
are uncomfortable, You're in conflict, you're angry, you're anxious or depressed,
and it's not going away, you know, you know, it's
sort of like you know, the falset dripping. You're not
sure why, but it keeps on dripping. So you don't
always have to have the answer as to why it's happening,
(38:32):
and most times people don't. But you want to at
least say, Okay, I got to stop the drip. I
got to stop that in my head. So let me go.
Let me go talk to someone who has an expertise
in this, at the very least somewhat, a friend that
I really trust, who doesn't feed into the problem. Someone
who's posting angry items on the internet is not the
(38:53):
person to go to because you're doing it and you
feel rotten.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
So is it pretty common though, for people to campaig
and look for agreement in their misery.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Yeah, if you do some people again, we're back to
quick fixes. And I don't want to do all the
work that is involved. I don't want to admit that
I have the problem. That's another thing. So it's a
whole lot easier to say, yeah, don't you feel this way?
Oh yeah, I do, And then the other person does,
and now we all think it's normal. It's not. The
very fact that you're doing that tells you it's not normal.
(39:24):
If you're living a healthy life, then your relationships with
other people are positive. They're loving, their supportive. You know what.
The language that comes out of your mouth is it's good,
positive stuff designed to help other people and make you
feel good about yourself and them. Are you doing that?
(39:45):
If you're not, that tells you. That's another one of
those you know, those telltale signs.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
So if we go back to diet, how much is
the all the artificial stuff, chemicals and fast foods and
you know, overprocessed, how much is that affecting our brain chemistry?
And setting this up a lot.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
If we're now getting to the point that some companies
are removing food coloring because the connection to anxiety and
depression is now becoming documented. Other countries don't allow this.
Our FDA here allows a lot of different things they
shouldn't allowed. I just help someone get through the hospital
(40:27):
for a substance that you find in many of the
quick marks. Those kind of stuff something called kretom and
it's it is a powder from a tree or that
grows in Asia, extremely addicting for some reports will some
research say that it's ten times more powerful than morphine,
(40:51):
but our FDA hasn't touched it yet. Now that's one
of those things and kids go in because it's a
pick me up, legal and they can buy it at
any age.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
And they'll find it, They'll find it. Will Yeah, Well
it's time. It's time for us to take another station break.
Please stay with us. Is Faust and I continue to
explore anxiety, depression and possible solutions. This is Mission Evolution,
Mission evolution dot org. So how do we exercise the demon?
(41:24):
This is Mission Evolution, Mission evolution dot org. We're continuing
our discussion with Fast Rogueiro his website Faostregiro dot com.
Fast We've been talking and we've touched in on some
of the possible solutions. But if you are a person,
or if you are a parent of a person that
is really going downhill, you know, maybe even suicidal h
(41:49):
changing their diet may not be the first best first step.
What what what? What steps should you take.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
When it's when it's that bad, When it's that bad, Willie,
You're you're a point where you're all the stops out.
Now you're getting them help. For many people, the first
step is just getting them to their primary care physician.
They they may or may not be willing to get
to a counselor. But sometimes you got to be a
little bit forceful to you and I say, okay, you're
(42:15):
you know you're you're saying some things that that are
concerning me. You're not getting out of bed or going
to just go to the doctor and see that. And
I always said, just tell them something physically could be wrong.
Don't don't get into what's in your head because that's
going to scare them or or or push them even
farther closer to the edge. Just say, maybe something physical
(42:36):
is going on. Let's go find out and get them
to the doctor.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Because you know, a lot of particularly if you're dealing
with you know, pbscent teenagers or now like you say,
seven and eight year olds, they don't know what's wrong.
You know, oftentimes you say what's wrong, they don't know.
They just know you know it's bad, right well.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
And you're right, I mean, they they haven't developed the
communicator skill, communication skills to tell you this is it,
this is how I'm feeling, or or they may tell
you just enough to do, you know, to give you
those red flags. But I always you know, with our kids,
we always err on the side of caution. You know,
we didn't say okay, fine, you don't want to, I
(43:19):
won't what I can The first order of business, even
even about the kids, parents have to be willing to say,
I am putting my foot down, We're going to the doctor.
I you know, I don't want to have to go
to the doctor. I don't want to spend my time
and I've got to take you there and sit in
the waiting room. Parents don't want to do these things.
So be a parent that does that, says okay, we're
(43:44):
doing this, and then get them there and say you're
gonna go once and we're gonna see what the doctor says.
Because what you're doing is concerning me. You know, you're
not happy. You know, you're not involved in anything, you're disconnected.
We're gonna go find out make sure there's something that's
not you know. And you're right, hormones come into play
with kids that are that are just entering puberty, you know,
(44:07):
But again, we want to find out that there's nothing wrong.
The other thing is, you know, without scaring parents, your
kid is in their room and they're not coming out.
Maybe there is something physical, and maybe it's something serious,
tumors and all those kinds of things, and I don't
want to scare them. But if your child is off
(44:28):
the baseline, we say, their behavior is different than they
typically are, get them, go get them seen, do that
right away.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
How much more important is it now when we're seeing
all this dysfunction on all fronts? How much more important
is it now to take aggressive steps? And how can
you do it without alienating the child or the adult?
Speaker 3 (44:55):
Well, you're not going to alienate them, because if you're
there with you know you're forceful, but warm and loving.
You're simply saying, look, something is wrong. Let's go find
out what it is. I love you enough to do that.
And that's what I would tell my kids. I don't
want to. Yeah, you know what. You know, we're your parents,
(45:16):
We love you. Something is a miss here. Let's go
find out what it is. Okay, and if it's nothing,
that's great, we'll go out for ice cream whatever. But
let's go and find this and find out what's going on.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
So often I've heard the signs were all there and
I missed them. Yeah, now the child is gone. I
mean you know that we're hearing more and more and
more of that. Are we in a massive state of
denial that we miss the signs? What's going on?
Speaker 3 (45:46):
We're going too fast? As simple as that, we will
miss the signs. That's why I say in your home,
slow your your family down a bit at the very least.
You know, once a day, have a fifteen minute conversation,
get off your cell phone and have a fifteen minute
conversation with your kids. You know, and you know we're
(46:08):
asking to do it with kids. Parents themselves aren't doing it.
You know, they don't have that. You're going to start
at the top. You have to. You have to show
your kids you're willing to talk together and then talk
to them. Slow it down enough so you can make
the connections.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
So this sounds like for a lot of people, this faust.
This is going to be a huge life change because
you know, we've been living like this for a couple
of generations and like you said, normalized it. How difficult
is this going to be going to be to turn
it around in time?
Speaker 3 (46:39):
Well, my advice to people with that is the same
advice I always give you. Take one step at a time.
If you say, hey, every night, we're going to spend
this time together, We're going to talk a little bit.
You're not going to change anything in a week or
a month, but over time you're going to connect and
(47:00):
that's where the changes occur. Everything is incremental. That that
that works.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
The only time you're going to go you're not going
to go slow is as you say, this could be
a crisis, and then I'm we're gonna We're gonna act
on it. But I always, I always said, you know,
we did not want to be the parents who looked
back and said, God, the signs were all there and
we didn't do it. And I have probably half a
(47:27):
dozen people that I know friends that have lost kids.
And if it wasn't for suicide or drug abuse, it
was you know, they were so disconnected. The kid was
out late, there was the car accident, and and and
all the signs were there that the child was going
off off base. So you know, know them and give
(47:48):
them what give them your time. That's the key we say.
And this is nothing revolutionary that I'm saying here. We
bring them into the world. Our responsibility is to spend
time with them, not to have you know, other people
do it, not to drop them off somewhere, not to
give them their cell phone, let them go up in
(48:09):
their room, not to have them on video games till
we never connect, let them do it. Those things are
fine provided you connect.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
You have that connection time. So when we were talking
about the disconnected state of society. Basically, how much do
you think that that disconnected state is allowing for the
increased volatility and school shootings and you know, everything's getting
very violent and dehumanizing out there. How much of it
(48:41):
is because we're just so disconnected we don't recognize it.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
You just said it, you said a mouthful, the word
was dehumanizing. We don't empathize. We don't feel what other
people are feeling anymore because we're not contacting them. You know,
you don't feel what a person's feeling by spending time
on the internet or texting on your cell phone, you
(49:04):
feel them. In fact, I do almost all my counseling
in my office yet, because it's just the way to
do things. You see people, you touch them, you see
their body language. If they need a hug when they leave,
give them a hug. Even in the ranks of counseling,
we are now in an impersonal mode of counseling where
(49:25):
you log on and the counselor sitting on there, and
you know, maybe the counselor's cell phone is right in
front of them, yours might be, and all this is
going on for forty five or fifty minutes and there's
no physical contact. That's where the world is working. So
you're right dehumanizing. And I define that, I mean by
(49:49):
not being able to understand and empathize and feel what
another person feels.
Speaker 2 (49:55):
So then what we're doing is we're creating these individual
pockets of reality based on no input. And isn't that
alienating us from each other even further and causing polarization?
Speaker 3 (50:09):
Sure it is. You know, one of the the whether
one of the the most fearing things that people will
say is, oh my god, the machines are taking over.
The machines aren't taking over. We're just plugging into them.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
We're handing it over, right, right.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
We're handing it over. And then in that as we're
doing that, we're losing that so vital, that so loving
connection with other people. Well, then violence doesn't seem to
be a problem because it doesn't feel like a human
you're shooting or you're hurting. It's that thing, that that
entity out there that whatever whatever they did, caused you
(50:47):
to become angry enough to act out.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
And don't we go into this this is your department,
not mine, But don't we go into a different part
of our brain even when we've polarized so badly that
we're in fight or flight and we're seeing an enemy
around every corner.
Speaker 3 (51:02):
Yeah, we want to keep things, so to speak, in
the front cortex of our brain, where we're all reasoning.
Ability is all the primal stuff is in the back.
We're pushing our we're pushing our mode of action and
mode of operating back again being becoming more primal. And
again that along with fast paced and machinery and the
(51:22):
way we eat and all those things. Put it all together,
it becomes the world we've been living.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
In and one big modern myths. Right, So, what are
a myths about anxiety and depression that really need to
be addressed before treatment begins.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
The first myth is one I addressed in the beginning
of the show, which is, let's get to the body first.
Let's get that body healthy. If we get the body healthy,
then we know that we've moved. We at least address
that now. And that doesn't mean you can't go to
the mental health things first. What's going on in your life.
Your marriage is breaking up, the finance, is a job,
(52:01):
the kids, whatever it may be. We give that attention,
but we make sure that while we're doing that the
body and everything we're doing with the body is healthy.
We're purging what doesn't belong there. You know, again, if
you have anxiety, three cups of coffee a day isn't
helping you.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
So when you go into this, there's a phenomenon, and
I'm sure you're familiar with, known as a healing crisis. Okay,
So when you start to change a person's diet drastically,
sometimes that can cause things to get worse before they
get better. How do you deal with that?
Speaker 3 (52:35):
I do everything slowly. I never allow people to purge
everything at one time. If we're going to say coffee
and anxiety, I'm going to say, okay, how much coffee
you drink. Let's say it's three cups. I say, do
me a favor for the next three or four days,
make it two and a half. Then go to two two,
(52:55):
one and a half, and let's see how you're feeling.
You may actually get to the point that a couple
of coffee you don't have to get rid of it completely.
You may get to the point that one cup of
down is okay. You may not. We'll start there. We'll
start looking at your diet. How much sugar are you
consuming how much of the fast foods and the trans
fats and all those kinds of things that you know
(53:17):
can cause allergies, all the food coloring that cause allergies.
Sometimes it's an allergy that's causing your problems. Yeah, to
find out.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
Well, we're just about out of time fast, and so
I'd be remiss if I didn't ask you what's your
mission for me?
Speaker 3 (53:31):
My mission is to just what we said, to keep
people connected, to keep people in a frame of mind
where it's positive, where the way they live their life
becomes empowering internally not externally, and then they can turn
that power and that internal love outward to the rest
of the world.
Speaker 2 (53:52):
That's a beautiful mission because I don't think there was
ever a time when it was needed more to you.
Speaker 3 (53:57):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (53:58):
You're right, Yeah, it's it's this is a make or
break time, and I you know, what you're bringing gives
people some tools to make it instead of break it, right,
it does. Yeah, Well, Faus again, thank you so much
for joining us on the show, and hopefully we'll get
to get to talk to you next time you write
a new book.
Speaker 3 (54:18):
It sounds great. It has been wonderful.
Speaker 2 (54:20):
God bless God, Bless you. Our guest is hour has
been Faus Vergeiro. He's the author of six books, his
latest Ficture Internal Language Handbook, a published research author, clinical
trainer and therapist. To find out more about Faust, his
books and all he has to offer, visit his website
foulestrogio dot com. This has been Mission Evolution with Gouldoweka.
(54:44):
For more information or to enjoy past archived episodes, visit
www dot Mission evolution dot org. But please be sure
to join us right again here next time on Xon
TV channel xzetv dot ca A, where this mission will
continue bringing information, resources and support to an evolving world.
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