August 27, 2018 • 22 mins
In 1939 Russia invaded Finland in what's called The Winter War. During the war a sniper from Finland, Simo Häyhä, was able to kill hundreds of Russians.
More here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simo_H%C3%A4yh%C3%A4
More here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simo_H%C3%A4yh%C3%A4
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:09):
All right, folks, So welcometo Mistakes Were Made, a podcast about
Mistakes Made History, hosted by areal life middle school history teacher, me
Bobby Smith. Me and I've hereto night to teach my two mists,
Michael Day and Robert Bacon. Good, could you teach us a thing or
two about intros? I feel likewe still don't have But we don't have
it, We're still trying to findit, you guys, We're we're we're
(00:30):
getting We basically did a soft reseton the podcast, so we're still finding
our way. There are no coyotesthis time out, so we'll just count
that as a plus. Oh yeah, I forgot about those. I'm always
looking for coyotes, coyotes and berryall kinds of good stuff. Can't wait
to learn about what we're going tolearn about. All right, Well tonight,
let's are you in a grade schoolgymnasium. I am in a grade
(00:53):
school hallway, you guys, Bobbyis still at work recording this man,
I am, and then I gottago back to writing report cards right after
that. You know what, Bobby, there's a there's an echo. But
I feel like now that we've establishedwhere you are it's totally acceptable. Bobby.
I'm going to give you a haulpass on this one. Oh that
(01:15):
is dedication to a podcast. Iappreciate it, all right. So,
um, tonight, I want totalk about sorry before we get started.
Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Can you what's what's your school mascot?
So we keep eying? It isit is? It is a lion?
Oh the lions? What colors?What colors you got? Orange and
green are our school colors? Oh? Okay? What colors? Could I
(01:41):
have said that? You would havebeen like? Oh no, literally,
any other colors? Interesting combo?Orange and green? Right, Mike,
that's a weird combo. Yes,I guess, Miami, Like that's orange
and green? Right? Hey,Hey, I shouldn't judge so hard.
It's I'm sure you sure you gotlion pride, and leave off us as
superintendent's color blind, you asshole.He thought he was doing blue and orange,
(02:07):
all right, have been a betterchoice. So today I want to
talk about sometimes in history the mistakeis just screwing with the wrong person,
and that is what we're going totalk about tonight. So my question for
you, my question for you is, have you two ever heard of a
conflict a militron confect called the WinterWar. Yeah, no, it's pronounced
(02:30):
Winter Soldier and Captain America did it? Du next question? To be clear,
that was awesome, but not whatI'm talking about. I do believe
that winter is coming now. Iactually I am not caught up on Game
of Thrown. People might throaty stonesat me for that. So maybe winter
already came. I don't know.I'm not from I feel like you guys
(02:52):
will have to master actual history beforewe go into a fake history. Okay,
winter War. I assume that itprobably has something to do with Russia.
I know the Winter War was Afghanistanearly two in one thousand, now,
okay, I'm not sure. Yeah, it was in Australia. It's
actually their Summer War. Oh yeah, absolutely no, that makes sense.
(03:15):
That makes sense, all right.So I would like your guesses on on
on the Winter War, when itwas and who it was with eighteen twelve,
Oh, that's a good guess.I like guessing. That's a good
year. A lot of war hashappened in that year, and I think
and I think it happened in Ithink it happened in Canada, of all
(03:36):
places. This is a Canadian warthat we don't hear about too often.
I'm gonna hire eighteen ninety and itwas between India and uh, what's next
to India? Wow? A milliondollars question. No it's not India.
I'm an idiot. I'm gonna gowith the Ukraine in Russia, all right,
(03:58):
I like. I like both ofthose guesses. I will berate Mike
slightly for not knowing that the Canadawas actually at war in eighteen twelve with
America. It was the War ofeighteen however. Yeah, but you know
they got other side wars going on. Yeah, America has several wars going
on. America has When has Americaever been in just Yeah, you can't
(04:23):
just have one. Wars are likepotato chips, Wars like a can of
pringles. Yeah. I like that. Yes, and Warren never changes,
just like then was closest without goingover. The Winter War was a short
war. It was only a littleover three months, and it was a
part that's not a Chicago winter.I'll tell you that much, Zingo.
(04:46):
Take that weather pattern. Uh yeah, you guys still at winters there,
right. The Winter War was apart of World War Two. It was
a very short engagement. It waswhen Russia actually invaded Finland. Russia,
of course, was a much largercountry than Finland, and right when war
woke out. Yeah, there werea number of kind of conflicts where Russia
was looking for some kind of borderterritories to stay between it and Germany,
(05:12):
and so they actually took over Finland. They sent a million troops in November
of nineteen thirty nine. Oh toomany. First of all, Russia,
slow your roll, okay, I'slike, hey, we're Finland. Also,
at what point does Russia say,all right, we have enough land
and how about just focus? Howabout focus on that? Like nobody else
(05:34):
seems to be that focused on gettingso much land at this late in the
game. But Russia, Russia isstill pushing taking crimeas true, trying to
push into other stuff. And theybasically have Finland now, I mean it
compared like, I'm Swedish, butI wouldn't consider like Norway and Sweden totally
get along. But Finland, ohman, I'm not going to touch about.
(05:57):
Just leave your your Finnish hatelet hatred. I'll say it right now.
Finland is the green and orange ofcountries. Uh well, hey, good,
good, and bad news real quick. Good news is that no one
from Finland. Bad news is thatwe've now been blacklisted in Finland. Oh,
we're not allowed to be Downland.Happened. So obviously the Finnish force
(06:23):
was massively outnumbered. Uh and youknow with a Finish you guys think we
could get Finnished force on the backof these Wasn't that a shitty nineteen nineties
comic book. I think you guys, no one's taken us seriously after we
put our names on the jackets.That's kind of on us. Man.
(06:46):
So in this conflict, there werebasically the conflict had to almost immediately go
to fighting the massive number of Russiansin a protracted battle. So a lot
of the Finnish army went to theyou know, went to the woods and
they put on camouflage and they youknow, wore skis and snowshoes and kind
of harassed the roots there. No, they didn't, No, they didn't.
(07:12):
Oh, man, Like in aJames Bond film, I was just
going to say, what is this? Tomorrow is not enough for whatever the
name of that one is. Isvery much like a James Bond film.
And there were teams of people thatall went out together. Um, but
there was one man whom he servedin the Finnish voluntary militia called the White
Guard for a single year. Ohwait, hold on, the name of
(07:34):
the Finnish voluntary militia has another namebesides the Finnish. Yeah, you know
that. That's such a great whiteGuard. They didn't get terribly creative with
it. But still here you are. I want to know whether you've ever
heard of this person. I doubtit because even within like history buffs,
I think most people would go huh. But I'm gonna give you a chance.
(07:57):
Here. The guy we're going totalk about today, his name is
Simo hey ha semoy. Have youever heard of Semo Simo haha? Even
though his name sounds hilarious, Simohaha, I think I had his sandwich
at a Delhi once. It soundslike someone someone watching a video of Selma
(08:18):
Hayak who is so in love thatthey're just like says Siemo ha ha ha.
I'm gonna go ahead and say thatthis is probably the Finnish Prime Minister
of something. Uh Nope, nope, no, Simo Hey what was his
Semo? Hey yea Simo haha,dude, I promise you will not make
(08:39):
fun of him when you hear whathe did. Oh yeah, bro oh
yeah, and he will. Ohhe's dead, simo haha. Was was
probably the greatest sniper that ever lived. Wow, he was not. He
was basically a rogue in the army. So he is out in the the
(09:03):
woods. I love yeah, Ilove that. You were like to prepare
for war. They put on camouflageand went to the woods. Up until
that point, how were they fightingthis war? They were wearing suits in
the city. Guys, get intoyour cameo, get in the woods.
Come on, sorry going, Bobby, We want to know no, all
(09:24):
right. So what he would dowas he was given a rifle from his
time in the Guard, but itwasn't necessarily a you know, tremendously powerful
sniper rifle. He preferred to notuse the telescopic site. He used iron
sights. No, whoa yep.If he routinely operated in temperatures between minus
(09:46):
forty degrees fahrenheit and minus four likehe was, it's it's it's colder than
Chicago. Cold out there. Yeah, Jesus, that's really cold. I
don't even know that's possible. It'scold. He dripped entirely in white camouflage.
And how many people do you thinkhe operated largely for about one hundred
days? He was out there forthose three months, um, so just
(10:11):
how many people do you think hekilled in a hundred days. He's sniping
people, but he doesn't even havea scope, so he's not that far
from them, right, Nope,Nope, he's got to be pretty close
to I mean, one hundred days. I think I think the guy's doing
it one a day. I thinkhe's like like vitamins. I think it's
I will I will say to addyour guests that most military snipers like retiring
(10:33):
today have maybe between five and tenkills on their card, like for like,
for like a lifetime of three orfour years in an engagement. I
think that the I want to say, the American sniper guy who wrote that
book. I mean, I Idon't think he had more than thirty.
I'm totally guessing I don't. Idon't remember. I should look that up
before I about numbers out around him. I'm overshooting this. I should.
(10:56):
No, I'm not saying you are. I'm just I'm just trying to give
you a number so that we havea base line. Give you a base
line, because this guy's apparently thebest ever. So he's got to have
more than thirty and it's got tobe less than six billion, because that's
how many people are at the time, even less, so like three billion,
two billion. I don't know,I'm just throwing out numbers, but
(11:16):
I'm gonna go ahead and guess thathe had some seventy Oh you know what,
let's just go because we're you're amiddle school teacher. I say he
had sixty nine kills. All right, that's that's a good guess. I'm
gonna up mind. Now, Ithink he's at I think he's at one
hundred and forty two. The realnumber is that he killed between five hundred
(11:39):
and forty and over seven hundred people. No, there's a zero, Nope,
nope, dude, that's not evenokay. Hold on one hundred days,
right, and how much? Howmany was it again? Like,
what's just phone number is five hundredand forty and his high number is over
seven hundred. Oh my god,So let me just do some math in
(12:00):
my head. Beat bop boop bop. He's killing five people a day?
Yeah, that it was this average, over five people a day. That's
more than you have heven meals aday? Uh yeah, how oh,
how are they all right? Sopart of what he did to be incredibly
badass, there was a there wasa way that he hid his breath from
the rush soldiers. Uh and howdo you think he did? How do
(12:26):
you think he did? He blewinto big balloons. He blew into balloons
and released them, so they justthought a flavor had been there. Turns
out, snipy man. Did hejust blow it into the snow, like
make a little tunnel in the snowand blow it Because when you when you're
a sniper, you dig a littlehole next to you to pee into.
Uh so you don't have to move, I'm not lying. And uh so
(12:48):
for him to do that and hecan't breathe into his jacket. Oh he
killed an animal and and and exhaledinto a spothole. Yeah, very smaltant
sound. Now he put he filledhis mouth with snow and he uh used
that as the to hide the exhaleof his breath. Okay, now his
(13:13):
mouth? How is he not freezing? How does he How was this man
not an ice cube on day?I have absolutely no idea he had a
history of people asked him, Um, well, I'm gonna save that.
I'm gonna save that. Actually,I don't want to get out of myself.
Let's move on, Let's find outmore about snipey make shoot millions of
peoples. The Russians were understandably upsetat at losing so many people to what
(13:39):
they knew was really just one guyin these woods. Um so they sent
a team after team. They senta special squad out to kill him,
and he killed every single person.Then they sent a special crack squad of
anti snipers. These are snipers thatspecialize in killing other snipers. Like they
(14:00):
hate snipers. That's like their numberone thing they hate. They hate snipers,
but they are snipers. It's likeit's working on many levels. So
they hate themselves. It's the Ohthey're comedians. Yeah, okay, now
I can connect. I can connectto them. Also, is this what
Rambo was based off of? Becauselike, so they sent a team to
(14:20):
kill him, and he just killedthem slowly with like what traps? All
right? This guy? Yeah,no explosives. That's what's getting me is
how did he kill so many peoplewithout taking them out in groups like that?
Insane? He has Chuck Norris andhow many headbands did he have to
go through? So many? Uhso this guy he that cracks camp camp
(14:41):
came out to anti snipe him.Um, he murdered them all, every
single one. Jesus. So theRussians understandably said the hell with this forest
and they groups out and they theycould bombed the forest. Um. And
apparently they did hit him. Someshrapnel went through his jacket. Wait,
(15:05):
hold on, what years this andthere's carpet bombs? This is? This
is I mean, like you know, they're blanket bombing. I mean it's
not technically carpet bombing, but they'reblanket bombing before us because they don't know
where he is. And they justsaid, let's bomb the whole area.
Okay, what years indiscrimin It's WorldWar two. Yeah, it's World War
two. It says this is latenineteen thirty nine, early king teen thy
(15:26):
um so wow, So yeah,so he is. They don't hit him.
They send a couple of their squadshis way after you know, most
of the time fighting this battle.Um, he is eventually caught with a
lucky shot by an explosive round andhe gets hit in the head. Good
thing is wearing that headband. Goodyeah, good things were in that headband
(15:48):
because guess what he lives, whathe does lucky headband. He is hit.
He is hit in the head withan explosive round His entire lower left
jaw was own off. He waspicked up by fellow soldiers who said his
face was missing. Um, buthe didn't die. He regained consciousness a
(16:08):
week later on March thirteenth, theday that peace was declared. Oh my
god. So he was the onewho changed everything. I mean, talk
about putting one soldier putting their fingeron the scale. Man, that is
crazy, dude. And they sothey still watched even with that dude they
did. They called it, youknow, they said, hey, enough
(16:30):
of this, right, So it'snot like they not like Finland then became
Russian really, I mean really really, the Finish did kind of win this
win the counter. Russia was like, look, we're okay, fine,
we're done and basically yeah, andyou know, Russia was also getting a
lot of you know, flak fromthe international community about this as well,
because you know, you know,stop taking land. We're done doing.
(16:52):
Oh yeah, definitely, it's overCRIMEA. When they found him, Simo
Simo, Semo, Simo Simo.Hey yeah, oh god, your face,
Oh your face is gone. Ohcan I still get your autographed Semo?
Seriously, dude, you killed aton of people. Oh man,
(17:15):
yeah, can you just send righthere? Oh, thank you? Yeah,
I and one for and if youcould just send this for my kids.
And actually I got a cousin thatalso loved big fan big uh.
Yeah. Yeah, with your jaw, just with your job. Ah.
Thanks, you're the man. They'regonna love this. It's going on the
mantel. Thanks so much. Yeah, take care, take care now.
(17:38):
So after the war, he understandablybecame a bit of big fish, Carol,
as this five foot tall, tinydude obviously was quite the thorn in
the side of the entire German theentire Russian army rather uh. And he
he made a full recovery and andbecame a successful moose hunter later in his
(18:03):
life. Hold on timeout, timeout. Yeah, Oh my god,
oh god, how many thousands ofmoose did he murder? This guy?
Moose are endangered to this day becauseof this god he took out, like
so many species are coming back afterhe died. Also, another question,
how did he make a full recoverywithout a job old moose jaw. Hey,
(18:26):
ha, I encourage you to lookup a picture of this man.
He's got quite the interesting face afterthat. Um, oh, there's little
umlas. Oh oh, it lookslike it looks like his face is gone
melted on one side. It wasblown off by an explosive bullet. Yeah,
it was that dude. What afucking badass, this guy. He
(18:48):
died thousand and two. He wasninety six. No, he didn't,
and in an interview in ninety eight, asked how he became such a good
such a good shooter, Hey answered, what do you think? Uh,
practice practice on Russians eating snow.Um, the will to survive? It
(19:12):
was practice, it was. Yeah. Is there a movie about this guy?
I think they should be. Ithink a lot of what he did
people use this inspiration for movies likeRambos, Rainbow and some Rainbow. Yeah,
Rainbow Rainbow. I love rainbow whererainbow kills all those people in the
(19:33):
woods. Uh, sorry for it'scalled first rainbows Rainbow rain This guy is
a fucking badass. Love love it, love this guy. Hey, thanks
to I mean, Finland could beRussian if it wasn't for this guy,
so well, Yeah, I feelbad for making fun of Finland before.
I'm sorry. Yeah, you havea great country. We love you,
(19:56):
Finland. This guy lived. Thisguy lived to get to a point where
he could google himself. Yes,yeah, it's insane. He was almost
a hundred. Oh what a cooldude. All right? Is there more
to the story, Bobby? Anyany other questions on simo heha or anything
we think is particularly interesting? Oh? Man, I thought it was very
interesting that with that technology back inthe day, they were able to save
(20:18):
his face. And he doesn't lookthat bad. The photo that I saw
was photoshopped grotesquely, okay, butthey say they actually saved his face like
reconstructive surgery. And yeah, it'skind of like he has like a big
jaw that hangs low and a littlebit to the right. You could tell,
like if you met him, he'dbe like, Wow, something happened
to you. But he's not.I mean, Jesus, I was expecting
(20:41):
to see basically a gaping hole.Does your jaw hang low? Yea?
This is neither here no there.But have you ever seen the picture of
the Civil War soldier who got hittingthe hit in the forehead and lived?
No, you can that. It'skind of bizarre. He has like it
just absolutely Yeah, this is greatpodcast material right here. Keep looking up
(21:04):
this thing that's on your own time. It's weird also though too that like
he's basically a serial killer. Yeah, yeah, without the cover of a
lure. It's quite the h That'squite a thing. I mean, I
mean, there are twitch streamers thatwould love for that KD ratio, you
(21:25):
know what I mean, Like thatsays yea, and and it would be
and it wouldn't even be you gettingkilled by one of the other guys in
the game. You would just getbored basically, like your system would be
too old and nobody would be playinganymore, so you just quit. Yeah,
he I wonder if he did getbored on some days, if he
was like, oh that was tentoday, That's that's probably enough. Man.
(21:48):
He lived in two thousand and two. He could have played Golden Eye.
Who knows, Oh, dude,you don't want to play this guy.
In Golden Eye. He was abeast slappers only you have got no
sniper on that one. Say thankyou, thank you, guys. I
appreciate it. I want to say. Mistakes were made. Mistakes were made,
All right, folks, So welcometo Mistakes Were Made, a podcast about
Mistakes Made History, hosted by areal life middle school history teacher, me
Bobby Smith. Me and I've hereto night to teach my two mists,
Michael Day and Robert Bacon. Good, could you teach us a thing or
two about intros? I feel likewe still don't have But we don't have
it, We're still trying to findit, you guys, We're we're we're
(00:30):
getting We basically did a soft reseton the podcast, so we're still finding
our way. There are no coyotesthis time out, so we'll just count
that as a plus. Oh yeah, I forgot about those. I'm always
looking for coyotes, coyotes and berryall kinds of good stuff. Can't wait
to learn about what we're going tolearn about. All right, Well tonight,
let's are you in a grade schoolgymnasium. I am in a grade
(00:53):
school hallway, you guys, Bobbyis still at work recording this man,
I am, and then I gottago back to writing report cards right after
that. You know what, Bobby, there's a there's an echo. But
I feel like now that we've establishedwhere you are it's totally acceptable. Bobby.
I'm going to give you a haulpass on this one. Oh that
(01:15):
is dedication to a podcast. Iappreciate it, all right. So,
um, tonight, I want totalk about sorry before we get started.
Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Can you what's what's your school mascot?
So we keep eying? It isit is? It is a lion?
Oh the lions? What colors?What colors you got? Orange and
green are our school colors? Oh? Okay? What colors? Could I
(01:41):
have said that? You would havebeen like? Oh no, literally,
any other colors? Interesting combo?Orange and green? Right, Mike,
that's a weird combo. Yes,I guess, Miami, Like that's orange
and green? Right? Hey,Hey, I shouldn't judge so hard.
It's I'm sure you sure you gotlion pride, and leave off us as
superintendent's color blind, you asshole.He thought he was doing blue and orange,
(02:07):
all right, have been a betterchoice. So today I want to
talk about sometimes in history the mistakeis just screwing with the wrong person,
and that is what we're going totalk about tonight. So my question for
you, my question for you is, have you two ever heard of a
conflict a militron confect called the WinterWar. Yeah, no, it's pronounced
(02:30):
Winter Soldier and Captain America did it? Du next question? To be clear,
that was awesome, but not whatI'm talking about. I do believe
that winter is coming now. Iactually I am not caught up on Game
of Thrown. People might throaty stonesat me for that. So maybe winter
already came. I don't know.I'm not from I feel like you guys
(02:52):
will have to master actual history beforewe go into a fake history. Okay,
winter War. I assume that itprobably has something to do with Russia.
I know the Winter War was Afghanistanearly two in one thousand, now,
okay, I'm not sure. Yeah, it was in Australia. It's
actually their Summer War. Oh yeah, absolutely no, that makes sense.
(03:15):
That makes sense, all right.So I would like your guesses on on
on the Winter War, when itwas and who it was with eighteen twelve,
Oh, that's a good guess.I like guessing. That's a good
year. A lot of war hashappened in that year, and I think
and I think it happened in Ithink it happened in Canada, of all
(03:36):
places. This is a Canadian warthat we don't hear about too often.
I'm gonna hire eighteen ninety and itwas between India and uh, what's next
to India? Wow? A milliondollars question. No it's not India.
I'm an idiot. I'm gonna gowith the Ukraine in Russia, all right,
(03:58):
I like. I like both ofthose guesses. I will berate Mike
slightly for not knowing that the Canadawas actually at war in eighteen twelve with
America. It was the War ofeighteen however. Yeah, but you know
they got other side wars going on. Yeah, America has several wars going
on. America has When has Americaever been in just Yeah, you can't
(04:23):
just have one. Wars are likepotato chips, Wars like a can of
pringles. Yeah. I like that. Yes, and Warren never changes,
just like then was closest without goingover. The Winter War was a short
war. It was only a littleover three months, and it was a
part that's not a Chicago winter.I'll tell you that much, Zingo.
(04:46):
Take that weather pattern. Uh yeah, you guys still at winters there,
right. The Winter War was apart of World War Two. It was
a very short engagement. It waswhen Russia actually invaded Finland. Russia,
of course, was a much largercountry than Finland, and right when war
woke out. Yeah, there werea number of kind of conflicts where Russia
was looking for some kind of borderterritories to stay between it and Germany,
(05:12):
and so they actually took over Finland. They sent a million troops in November
of nineteen thirty nine. Oh toomany. First of all, Russia,
slow your roll, okay, I'slike, hey, we're Finland. Also,
at what point does Russia say,all right, we have enough land
and how about just focus? Howabout focus on that? Like nobody else
(05:34):
seems to be that focused on gettingso much land at this late in the
game. But Russia, Russia isstill pushing taking crimeas true, trying to
push into other stuff. And theybasically have Finland now, I mean it
compared like, I'm Swedish, butI wouldn't consider like Norway and Sweden totally
get along. But Finland, ohman, I'm not going to touch about.
(05:57):
Just leave your your Finnish hatelet hatred. I'll say it right now.
Finland is the green and orange ofcountries. Uh well, hey, good,
good, and bad news real quick. Good news is that no one
from Finland. Bad news is thatwe've now been blacklisted in Finland. Oh,
we're not allowed to be Downland.Happened. So obviously the Finnish force
(06:23):
was massively outnumbered. Uh and youknow with a Finish you guys think we
could get Finnished force on the backof these Wasn't that a shitty nineteen nineties
comic book. I think you guys, no one's taken us seriously after we
put our names on the jackets.That's kind of on us. Man.
(06:46):
So in this conflict, there werebasically the conflict had to almost immediately go
to fighting the massive number of Russiansin a protracted battle. So a lot
of the Finnish army went to theyou know, went to the woods and
they put on camouflage and they youknow, wore skis and snowshoes and kind
of harassed the roots there. No, they didn't, No, they didn't.
(07:12):
Oh, man, Like in aJames Bond film, I was just
going to say, what is this? Tomorrow is not enough for whatever the
name of that one is. Isvery much like a James Bond film.
And there were teams of people thatall went out together. Um, but
there was one man whom he servedin the Finnish voluntary militia called the White
Guard for a single year. Ohwait, hold on, the name of
(07:34):
the Finnish voluntary militia has another namebesides the Finnish. Yeah, you know
that. That's such a great whiteGuard. They didn't get terribly creative with
it. But still here you are. I want to know whether you've ever
heard of this person. I doubtit because even within like history buffs,
I think most people would go huh. But I'm gonna give you a chance.
(07:57):
Here. The guy we're going totalk about today, his name is
Simo hey ha semoy. Have youever heard of Semo Simo haha? Even
though his name sounds hilarious, Simohaha, I think I had his sandwich
at a Delhi once. It soundslike someone someone watching a video of Selma
(08:18):
Hayak who is so in love thatthey're just like says Siemo ha ha ha.
I'm gonna go ahead and say thatthis is probably the Finnish Prime Minister
of something. Uh Nope, nope, no, Simo Hey what was his
Semo? Hey yea Simo haha,dude, I promise you will not make
(08:39):
fun of him when you hear whathe did. Oh yeah, bro oh
yeah, and he will. Ohhe's dead, simo haha. Was was
probably the greatest sniper that ever lived. Wow, he was not. He
was basically a rogue in the army. So he is out in the the
(09:03):
woods. I love yeah, Ilove that. You were like to prepare
for war. They put on camouflageand went to the woods. Up until
that point, how were they fightingthis war? They were wearing suits in
the city. Guys, get intoyour cameo, get in the woods.
Come on, sorry going, Bobby, We want to know no, all
(09:24):
right. So what he would dowas he was given a rifle from his
time in the Guard, but itwasn't necessarily a you know, tremendously powerful
sniper rifle. He preferred to notuse the telescopic site. He used iron
sights. No, whoa yep.If he routinely operated in temperatures between minus
(09:46):
forty degrees fahrenheit and minus four likehe was, it's it's it's colder than
Chicago. Cold out there. Yeah, Jesus, that's really cold. I
don't even know that's possible. It'scold. He dripped entirely in white camouflage.
And how many people do you thinkhe operated largely for about one hundred
days? He was out there forthose three months, um, so just
(10:11):
how many people do you think hekilled in a hundred days. He's sniping
people, but he doesn't even havea scope, so he's not that far
from them, right, Nope,Nope, he's got to be pretty close
to I mean, one hundred days. I think I think the guy's doing
it one a day. I thinkhe's like like vitamins. I think it's
I will I will say to addyour guests that most military snipers like retiring
(10:33):
today have maybe between five and tenkills on their card, like for like,
for like a lifetime of three orfour years in an engagement. I
think that the I want to say, the American sniper guy who wrote that
book. I mean, I Idon't think he had more than thirty.
I'm totally guessing I don't. Idon't remember. I should look that up
before I about numbers out around him. I'm overshooting this. I should.
(10:56):
No, I'm not saying you are. I'm just I'm just trying to give
you a number so that we havea base line. Give you a base
line, because this guy's apparently thebest ever. So he's got to have
more than thirty and it's got tobe less than six billion, because that's
how many people are at the time, even less, so like three billion,
two billion. I don't know,I'm just throwing out numbers, but
(11:16):
I'm gonna go ahead and guess thathe had some seventy Oh you know what,
let's just go because we're you're amiddle school teacher. I say he
had sixty nine kills. All right, that's that's a good guess. I'm
gonna up mind. Now, Ithink he's at I think he's at one
hundred and forty two. The realnumber is that he killed between five hundred
(11:39):
and forty and over seven hundred people. No, there's a zero, Nope,
nope, dude, that's not evenokay. Hold on one hundred days,
right, and how much? Howmany was it again? Like,
what's just phone number is five hundredand forty and his high number is over
seven hundred. Oh my god,So let me just do some math in
(12:00):
my head. Beat bop boop bop. He's killing five people a day?
Yeah, that it was this average, over five people a day. That's
more than you have heven meals aday? Uh yeah, how oh,
how are they all right? Sopart of what he did to be incredibly
badass, there was a there wasa way that he hid his breath from
the rush soldiers. Uh and howdo you think he did? How do
(12:26):
you think he did? He blewinto big balloons. He blew into balloons
and released them, so they justthought a flavor had been there. Turns
out, snipy man. Did hejust blow it into the snow, like
make a little tunnel in the snowand blow it Because when you when you're
a sniper, you dig a littlehole next to you to pee into.
Uh so you don't have to move, I'm not lying. And uh so
(12:48):
for him to do that and hecan't breathe into his jacket. Oh he
killed an animal and and and exhaledinto a spothole. Yeah, very smaltant
sound. Now he put he filledhis mouth with snow and he uh used
that as the to hide the exhaleof his breath. Okay, now his
(13:13):
mouth? How is he not freezing? How does he How was this man
not an ice cube on day?I have absolutely no idea he had a
history of people asked him, Um, well, I'm gonna save that.
I'm gonna save that. Actually,I don't want to get out of myself.
Let's move on, Let's find outmore about snipey make shoot millions of
peoples. The Russians were understandably upsetat at losing so many people to what
(13:39):
they knew was really just one guyin these woods. Um so they sent
a team after team. They senta special squad out to kill him,
and he killed every single person.Then they sent a special crack squad of
anti snipers. These are snipers thatspecialize in killing other snipers. Like they
(14:00):
hate snipers. That's like their numberone thing they hate. They hate snipers,
but they are snipers. It's likeit's working on many levels. So
they hate themselves. It's the Ohthey're comedians. Yeah, okay, now
I can connect. I can connectto them. Also, is this what
Rambo was based off of? Becauselike, so they sent a team to
(14:20):
kill him, and he just killedthem slowly with like what traps? All
right? This guy? Yeah,no explosives. That's what's getting me is
how did he kill so many peoplewithout taking them out in groups like that?
Insane? He has Chuck Norris andhow many headbands did he have to
go through? So many? Uhso this guy he that cracks camp camp
(14:41):
came out to anti snipe him.Um, he murdered them all, every
single one. Jesus. So theRussians understandably said the hell with this forest
and they groups out and they theycould bombed the forest. Um. And
apparently they did hit him. Someshrapnel went through his jacket. Wait,
(15:05):
hold on, what years this andthere's carpet bombs? This is? This
is I mean, like you know, they're blanket bombing. I mean it's
not technically carpet bombing, but they'reblanket bombing before us because they don't know
where he is. And they justsaid, let's bomb the whole area.
Okay, what years indiscrimin It's WorldWar two. Yeah, it's World War
two. It says this is latenineteen thirty nine, early king teen thy
(15:26):
um so wow, So yeah,so he is. They don't hit him.
They send a couple of their squadshis way after you know, most
of the time fighting this battle.Um, he is eventually caught with a
lucky shot by an explosive round andhe gets hit in the head. Good
thing is wearing that headband. Goodyeah, good things were in that headband
(15:48):
because guess what he lives, whathe does lucky headband. He is hit.
He is hit in the head withan explosive round His entire lower left
jaw was own off. He waspicked up by fellow soldiers who said his
face was missing. Um, buthe didn't die. He regained consciousness a
(16:08):
week later on March thirteenth, theday that peace was declared. Oh my
god. So he was the onewho changed everything. I mean, talk
about putting one soldier putting their fingeron the scale. Man, that is
crazy, dude. And they sothey still watched even with that dude they
did. They called it, youknow, they said, hey, enough
(16:30):
of this, right, So it'snot like they not like Finland then became
Russian really, I mean really really, the Finish did kind of win this
win the counter. Russia was like, look, we're okay, fine,
we're done and basically yeah, andyou know, Russia was also getting a
lot of you know, flak fromthe international community about this as well,
because you know, you know,stop taking land. We're done doing.
(16:52):
Oh yeah, definitely, it's overCRIMEA. When they found him, Simo
Simo, Semo, Simo Simo.Hey yeah, oh god, your face,
Oh your face is gone. Ohcan I still get your autographed Semo?
Seriously, dude, you killed aton of people. Oh man,
(17:15):
yeah, can you just send righthere? Oh, thank you? Yeah,
I and one for and if youcould just send this for my kids.
And actually I got a cousin thatalso loved big fan big uh.
Yeah. Yeah, with your jaw, just with your job. Ah.
Thanks, you're the man. They'regonna love this. It's going on the
mantel. Thanks so much. Yeah, take care, take care now.
(17:38):
So after the war, he understandablybecame a bit of big fish, Carol,
as this five foot tall, tinydude obviously was quite the thorn in
the side of the entire German theentire Russian army rather uh. And he
he made a full recovery and andbecame a successful moose hunter later in his
(18:03):
life. Hold on timeout, timeout. Yeah, Oh my god,
oh god, how many thousands ofmoose did he murder? This guy?
Moose are endangered to this day becauseof this god he took out, like
so many species are coming back afterhe died. Also, another question,
how did he make a full recoverywithout a job old moose jaw. Hey,
(18:26):
ha, I encourage you to lookup a picture of this man.
He's got quite the interesting face afterthat. Um, oh, there's little
umlas. Oh oh, it lookslike it looks like his face is gone
melted on one side. It wasblown off by an explosive bullet. Yeah,
it was that dude. What afucking badass, this guy. He
(18:48):
died thousand and two. He wasninety six. No, he didn't,
and in an interview in ninety eight, asked how he became such a good
such a good shooter, Hey answered, what do you think? Uh,
practice practice on Russians eating snow.Um, the will to survive? It
(19:12):
was practice, it was. Yeah. Is there a movie about this guy?
I think they should be. Ithink a lot of what he did
people use this inspiration for movies likeRambos, Rainbow and some Rainbow. Yeah,
Rainbow Rainbow. I love rainbow whererainbow kills all those people in the
(19:33):
woods. Uh, sorry for it'scalled first rainbows Rainbow rain This guy is
a fucking badass. Love love it, love this guy. Hey, thanks
to I mean, Finland could beRussian if it wasn't for this guy,
so well, Yeah, I feelbad for making fun of Finland before.
I'm sorry. Yeah, you havea great country. We love you,
(19:56):
Finland. This guy lived. Thisguy lived to get to a point where
he could google himself. Yes,yeah, it's insane. He was almost
a hundred. Oh what a cooldude. All right? Is there more
to the story, Bobby? Anyany other questions on simo heha or anything
we think is particularly interesting? Oh? Man, I thought it was very
interesting that with that technology back inthe day, they were able to save
(20:18):
his face. And he doesn't lookthat bad. The photo that I saw
was photoshopped grotesquely, okay, butthey say they actually saved his face like
reconstructive surgery. And yeah, it'skind of like he has like a big
jaw that hangs low and a littlebit to the right. You could tell,
like if you met him, he'dbe like, Wow, something happened
to you. But he's not.I mean, Jesus, I was expecting
(20:41):
to see basically a gaping hole.Does your jaw hang low? Yea?
This is neither here no there.But have you ever seen the picture of
the Civil War soldier who got hittingthe hit in the forehead and lived?
No, you can that. It'skind of bizarre. He has like it
just absolutely Yeah, this is greatpodcast material right here. Keep looking up
(21:04):
this thing that's on your own time. It's weird also though too that like
he's basically a serial killer. Yeah, yeah, without the cover of a
lure. It's quite the h That'squite a thing. I mean, I
mean, there are twitch streamers thatwould love for that KD ratio, you
(21:25):
know what I mean, Like thatsays yea, and and it would be
and it wouldn't even be you gettingkilled by one of the other guys in
the game. You would just getbored basically, like your system would be
too old and nobody would be playinganymore, so you just quit. Yeah,
he I wonder if he did getbored on some days, if he
was like, oh that was tentoday, That's that's probably enough. Man.
(21:48):
He lived in two thousand and two. He could have played Golden Eye.
Who knows, Oh, dude,you don't want to play this guy.
In Golden Eye. He was abeast slappers only you have got no
sniper on that one. Say thankyou, thank you, guys. I
appreciate it. I want to say. Mistakes were made. Mistakes were made,
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