July 26, 2017 • 45 mins
While he was dictator he did the standard dictator stuff. He killed those who spoke out against him and with all the money at the top many of his people starved. Mobutu was spending billions of dollars on himself and his family. He would overpay his generals or other people that might want to overthrow him and underpay his soldiers, many of whom were forced to steal from civilians just so they could have money to eat.
Mobutu also was one of the men who was instrumental in bringing the Rumble in the Jungle boxing match between Muhammad Ali and George Foreman to Zaire on the 30th of October 1974. According to the documentary When We Were Kings, promoter Don King promised each fighter US$5 million for the fight. Mobutu was the only one who was willing to fund such amounts. Mobutu, wanting to expand his country's image, put up the nation's money to do so. According to a quote in the film, Ali supposedly said: "Some countries go to war to get their names out there, and wars cost a lot more than $10 million."
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Mobutu also was one of the men who was instrumental in bringing the Rumble in the Jungle boxing match between Muhammad Ali and George Foreman to Zaire on the 30th of October 1974. According to the documentary When We Were Kings, promoter Don King promised each fighter US$5 million for the fight. Mobutu was the only one who was willing to fund such amounts. Mobutu, wanting to expand his country's image, put up the nation's money to do so. According to a quote in the film, Ali supposedly said: "Some countries go to war to get their names out there, and wars cost a lot more than $10 million."
(MORE ON THE PODCAST)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:10):
Welcome. Two Mistakes Were Made apodcast about mistakes made in history, hosted
by two guys who are two mistakesthemselves. I am Robert Bacon and with
me as always, I'm my coffin. He's doing finger guns right there.
You guys. Oh, I thoughtthat was a sound effect you put in
there. No, there's no soundeffects in there. Oh, I appreciate
(00:30):
it. That was cool. Theonly sound effects I have on sound effects
I could I could play anything.It's just this is just hooked up to
my phone. You just have ajust a library of sound effects in there.
Yeah, all right, don't you. Wow? Okay, I'm impressed.
(00:54):
Hey you that was a lot andall at once. I'll get you
get them all? You get themright there? Well, I get them
all at once. That's what youget with Mistakes Were Made this week,
you guys, we are sticking withour awesome dictators. Yes, you like
it right? This is becoming adictator podcast. Yeah, well this is
like my favorite murder, but it'smy favorite dictator. Okay, I love
(01:17):
it. These Are you ready forthis one? Mike? Ready to go
teach me something? I hope thisguy was nice, super nice. That's
what that's what this one is thatevery dictator wants to be nice. I
believe that in my heart, butit's hard when your name is mu Bootu
c c ccoooo. Now is thisCanada? What are we talking about?
(01:42):
Yep was born on the fourteenth ofOctober nineteen thirty and what was then the
Belgian congo. Oh, the Belgiancongo named after the movie Congo Oh okay,
the talking monkey named Amy. Ohthat congo okay, gotcha? Gota
Mubotu's mother was a hotel maid whomarried a cook for a Belgian judge,
(02:08):
so his dad was a cook fora Belgian judge. The wife of the
Belgian judge took a liking to mubootand taught him to speak, read,
and write French fluently. Wow right, that's cool, well done, little
kid. Yeah. After Mubooto's fatherpassed away when he was eight, his
mother sent him to live with hisuncle and grandfather so he could tend so
(02:30):
he could attend a Christian boarding schoolin nineteen thirty eight. Why was that
a thing? That was always athing? Kids were getting sent to go
live with relatives all the time.Yeah, that that was happening up until
Fresh Prince of bel Air. Ibelieve it was the last time. That
was the last time that we didit, and then it was kind of
died out. It's like single mother, Send him away, send him that's
(02:51):
it. Go live with your relatives. I don't know why they did that.
It was It's really really difficult justwith one person back in the day,
imagine. But this kid's amazing.He's already speaking French. Yeah,
I'm reading and writing and doing allthat stuff. Making waffles because the Belgium
people taught him totally obviously, youknow. That's I mean when his dad
was a cook, that's all hemade. Well, that's all you make.
They just call him waffles. Theydon't call m Belgian waffles. Sure,
(03:13):
Mumbootu was tall and athletic, sohe dominated school sports. Are you
talking about Dikembe Mtumbo? No,okay, just make sure. I just
want to make sure. Sorry tomake sure. Yet he also was no
dumb dum and excelled in academic subjectsand ran the class newspaper. No,
that was that was madum dumb.It was just madame dumb. Madame dum.
(03:36):
Yes, get in here, okay, Madame dum. Yes, what'd
you release? A bunch of cricketsinto the gymnasium. I thought it'd be
a funny prank too. I don'tthink you understand how pranks work. Usually
you don't scream your own name,dum and can I can I have a
pancake? Now? No, youcan't. This isn't it's four and afternoon.
(04:00):
No, but dumb, dumb.You don't just walk in and scream
it and then do it. That'snot a prank. You do it in
the dead of night when no one'sthere. Gregets, no, dumb,
dumb. Okay, I'm only goingto pass to you this year so you
can get out of my goddamn here. Despite this, he was still considered
troublesome and unruly. He would distractother students with his quote pranks, oh
(04:26):
really, and interrupt teachers. Soso far, he's basically me when I
was little. Okay, is aclass clown? Yeah? Yeah? I
mean how I got sent to theprincipal's office so many times only for talking
really always talking in class? Metoo, the same thing. Actually,
my mom worked in the building.Oh it was like they'd call my name
and then my mom would be downthere. That's worse. That's awkward.
(04:48):
Yeah, every time? How manytimes? All the time? Yeah,
because you think it's like a littlestand up time for you. Yeah.
When they said when they would makean announcement to call someone down the office,
it was either me, my friendMike, or my friend Stanley every
time. There's one of the threeof us. Every time. How big
was your school? There were sevenkids? Okay, I don't know how
there how there's any problems with sevenkids in at his school, the teachers
(05:12):
would speak what was known as Flemish, which is a Dutch dialect. Yeah.
One of his teachers had a heavyFrench accent, and whenever he would
make a slight mistake, Mubuotu wouldjump to his feet and pointed out,
sending the class into fits of laughter. Wow, he's calling out the teacher
(05:33):
or on some bad Flemish. Yeah. Also, this is like back in
the day, Like that's funny,like people slightly speaking wrong. Oh,
you spoke wrong. We have noother forms of entertainment. Also, when
you're little, I guess anything differentis really funny. Oh my god.
Any anything when we would have toread out loud anytime somebody messed up was
(05:57):
the funniest thing to today, nobodylikes you. Yeah, it was rough.
Yeah. One day when he waseighteen, maboot two left school without
permission to go to Lepoldville. Thatwrong, you're an idiot. Leopoldville,
Yeah, where he had where hehad a sexual escapade with a young woman
(06:23):
for several weeks. Whoa, whoaeighteen, he's been waiting for this.
He's a motor boat up also forseveral weeks. Dude, when you're young
and when you're escapade last several weeks. When you're ambootwo and you're a rock
(06:45):
hard for a while, that's ayeah. Twenty one night, one night
stand. Yeah, I bet hehad a blast. Yeah. When he
finally returned to school because his wienerwas just so tired, they were just
like, huh still in that sexualescapade. Huh yeah, weird. All
right, Well, if somebody wantsto fill them in on the homework,
(07:09):
mudumtu, yes, can you gogive Mubutu his homework? Cricket? No,
don't go give him crickets. Iwant to be the center. No
on the basketball team. Okay,done? Really, yes, just go
give him his home. What itwas when he finally returned to school,
he was caught stealing books from theschool library so he could sell them.
(07:31):
So he goes on a sexual escosodedid that? No you didn't. No
I didn't because my mom was alibrarian and she would have killed me.
So he goes on the sexual escapade, probably runs out of money, goes
back to the school. He's like, I know what I can do,
but go back to the school andsteal those books to sell them, and
I'll get those books for free thatthey're just giving them away, and I'll
sell them for a sweet profit.Also, we're kind of books are at
(07:54):
a school library that like somebody wouldlike to buy. I don't want to
buy a pre algebra Do you havelike a book book? Now? What
is this, Nancy Drew? Isthat invented yet? Well? This is
the first edition? Wow, sothis is a big deal. They kind
of came down hard on him onthis one because he was one expelled from
(08:16):
school and in lieu of a prisonsentence, he was ordered to serve a
seven year term in the army.Oh whoa stok. That was not standard,
right. I think there was justhard up because he was like,
didn't have any money. I wasyoung and I don't know if it was
black, because it was part ofit. Okay. So I mean,
there's it's Congo. There's tons ofblack people, but I think it was
(08:37):
run by mostly Belgians. Wow,So okay, So hey, here's you're
eighteen. You messed up, soyou're gonna be twenty five when this is
all over. Yeah, and uh, you know, just have served in
the military and maybe died. Well, here's the thing, here's a good
twist. All right, this wasthe best thing to ever happen in Mbutu,
really was. He jazzed about it. He came to appreciate discipline and
(09:00):
quickly rose to the ranks of thearmy. In nineteen sixty Congo gained independence.
Okay, but this new independence sentthe country into turmoil for many years.
I could probably do a whole podcastabout the coups that happened and all
the details, because they're they're wacky. It gets yeah, it gets really
(09:20):
complicated and very much just a longthree students. Yeah anyway, but let's
just get to the juicy parts.Okay, let's skip over all that.
So then in nineteen sixty five,Mubutu was slowly climbing into power. He
took advantage of the Cold War bysaying that he was strictly anti communist,
so countries like the United States backedhim to gain power. All right,
(09:41):
that's how stupid it was back inthe day during the Cold War. If
you if you said anything about wantingto be a communist enemy, yeah,
to all, but then Russia wouldbe on your side. You're like,
I want to be a maybe we'llbe communist Russia. Boom money, we
love you, Blaze, Blizz bust. You know what, Actually not communist
America money guns wouldn't like you anymore, exactly. The United the United
(10:05):
States backed him to gain power.So in nineteen seventy Congo had a presidential
election and move and move boot itwas the only candidate. Okay. So
here's the thing with that, Um, why why wasn't there anybody else involved?
Just him? That doesn't make anysense. That's because, well,
it's because the power behind him.He had the power of the United States
(10:28):
government. Okay, that's enough forme to say, I'm out. See
this guy's got the US behind him. I'm good and nobody else has anybody
like So you'll get Blizz, butwe'll back you, Blizz. You communist
dell you like us, So comeon, I think you can get If
you said you're a communist, youcan get killed. Probably. Okay,
all right, we'll see you letthem. Voters were offered a two ballot,
two ballot choices, even though Mubootuwas only on the Wait a minute,
(10:52):
I think I know what the otherone is? Cool, So muboo
two or yeah, a donkey,the donkey one and a landside every time,
that goddamn donkey is so personable anddemocratic. Yeah. No, They're
offered two choices, and they weredone in colors, green for hope or
(11:13):
red for chaos. Oh, okay, which one was? He? He
was both? Uh okay, that'slike, all right, you have a
choice to vote. Green means hope, Red means chaos. Vote. That's
like, you don't have a choice. That's ridiculous. It's like saying should
choose between PEPSI or being set onfire. Yes, that's like when your
(11:37):
girlfriend gives you choices and one isto hang out with her or the others
to go hang out with your friends. Oh, there's not a choice.
Sorry, I said yes before Iheard the second one. Anyway, so
guess what Mubutu won. The voteten million onety one thousand, six hundred
(11:58):
nine two one hundred and fifty seven. Fun fact, there's only two hundred
thousand people in the country at thistime. Guess what percentage of the vote
that is ninety eight percent ninety ninepoint nine. Wow, that's um that
happened. That was accurate. Soit's very first thing that he decided to
(12:20):
do once he gained power. Hereduced the powers of basically any other position
in government and out and outlawed politicalparties. There you go, that's what
you do. You do it quick. The next year he changed the name
of the country to the Republic ofZaire. Yeah, have fun. He
ordered the people to drop their Europeannames for African ones. He told priests
that if they would face five yearsimprisonment if they were caught baptizing a Zairian
(12:46):
child with a European name. Butthis kid wants to be named Steve,
no, can't be done. Yeah, but he wants to be Steve.
No, can't be done. Hasto be an African name. Okay,
Stevo, Steve Stevo a good compromtoryof Steve and that's a good compromise.
Yeah. Uh. Western attire andties were banned, and men were forced
(13:07):
to wear a mouse style tunic knownas an abacost. A mouse style tunic
is like the same thing that likeKim Jong un wears. Oh that like
suit that hidden buttons in the bucket. I gotta be honest, this's real
communist looking. You know. It'skind of funny that the US wasn't like,
Hey, wait a minute, man, um, I don't know I
(13:30):
feel about your jacket choice. Hey, could we back you in your jackets?
We'll pay for him, we'll getdifferent jackets. But it's just that
I like this one. Okay,alright, alright, yeah, I like
the tie. Yeah you do youI can't tie the tie double winds are
single windsor I don't know why I'mRussian? Man, this guy? You
know what? I thought it wasso US, and now I'm worried about
I saw United the States of America. Okay, all right, you sing
(13:52):
your song, oh beautiful, Okay, for spacious place or grains that can
be sold, he's close for moundpins, majesty, abro fruit plane.
It's just we're gonna have to takeit as a remake. RuSHA. Oh
(14:16):
you hear Russia I say that soundlike Russie and kid Americans American? Yeah,
it's American. Part of the endalways gets me, all right,
So Mubuto here's the best part.Mbutu started wearing his signature look, yeah,
(14:37):
you gotta do it. Thick frameglasses. Wait a minute, Kim
John, a leopard skin cat allright, and a wooden walking stick with
an eagle carved into the top.How awesome is this? Look? It's
tunics. Pretty good luck, bigold thick glasses, leopard hat, yeah,
(14:58):
cane eagle on top. Man,I hope those pants are purple.
That's that's a sweet look. Alligatorshoes. He is like this, guys
strutting down this It's like a dictatormet a pimp. It's perfect. He's
a pimptator. Yes, it's great. He claimed that the stick took the
strength of nine men to carry.Oh what a claim. Oh my god.
(15:26):
He also made it illegal for anyoneelse to wear a leopard skin hat
of any kind. So not onlydo you nail down that look? Okay,
you say the stick can take ninemen to carry, and then you
outlaw anybody else from try and evencopy your look. Okay, how awesome?
Now I gotta catch a cheetah tomake a different look at a hat.
That's gonna be tough. Dude,you don't want to push like.
(15:46):
I bet you. Nobody even worehats just to just like not even touch.
Yeah, you can't even come close. You can't even look close to
it. Oh my god. Mubuotorenamed himself mubuotu cccico nigugu nabudy za benga.
Hey, baby, name me beatthey did he bogauh, Try again,
(16:07):
baby beat Bobo wow, jazz babyis really going baby boo wowbooboo goo
goo ga. Give this jazz babyone of the few government radio stations.
You listen to this jazz baby allnight. That's some sweet sweet jazz baby.
(16:37):
Do you don't want to know whatthat means? Mboot ccico nigoku niboo
doo waza benga. You mean thatmeans something other than complete nonsense. No,
it means an all powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible
will to win, goes from conquestto conquest, leaving fire in his wake.
Hey, what's up? Hey,it's just that you know names.
(17:03):
Hey, what kind of print doyou have on your hat? What kind
of print is that? It's atiger? Tiger stripes? Okay, getting
dangerously close? Yeah, yeah,you know it's just tiger Jaco. No,
I wouldn't even Hey, thanks forthe name. Um, it's just
that names typically, are you knownames? And that's more like a sentence.
Yeah, it was like a smallparagraph. Really, when we get
(17:26):
down, When we get down,which part should I cut? Which part
is it? Me? Is itthe endurance and inflexible to win? Is
it more? Is it that Igo from conquest to conquest leaving fire in
my weight? Thatt's a tough questionbecause you're both of those things. You're
both those things. Take off yourhat? Okay, all right, why's
you another hat under your hat?It's just that Look that's a white tiger.
I don't like it. You're gettingeven dangerously more close. Take off
(17:47):
that hat. I don't know ifyou're gonna want me to take this hat
off? What are you taking it? Oh? Are you Russian? Because
you're like a Russian nest thing.Go with these hats. I like hats.
Yeah, yeah, I got ninehats. That one's just checkerboard.
I'll allow it. Thank you,Thank you, sir, thank you,
sir. So that's a great name. That's the hell of the name.
He kicked out all foreign born merchantsand took their businesses and that were total
(18:11):
worth about a billion dollars. Wow. So if you were if so,
you're like, you're there, you'reforeign born, you started your own company,
you're doing well. Sure you're done. It's the government's now great.
But what do they know about acrepe standard? I don't know anything about
it exactly. He basically took allthe money that the country is making from
(18:32):
mines, plantations, and other industriesand put that into his private bank account.
I'm glad you said mines. Atfirst I thought you said mimes.
I was like, what an interestingeconomy. All right, so Pierre,
you are going out into the middleof the square again, did you just
make annoys me? Pierre, you'refired. No, no, no,
(18:55):
no, that wasn't me. Thatwasn't me. You're just you're talking.
You're just talking. Worse parakeet youno, mine has a parakeet. That's
a pirate. Stop it, okay. Um, So he's just instead of
like other people would just like spendthe government's money, right, he just
said government's my money. That's mymoney. That's my money, that's my
(19:17):
money. Goodbye. Yeah. Healso he insisted that TV, radio and
newspapers would advocate the pride of Zaireand eliminate all foreign influences. So he's
very nationalistic. He's very like anythingoutside is bad the Republic of Zaire or
I think Zaire is the best,and you're gonna have to deal with that.
(19:38):
So Zare he has a Zaire firstpolicies. What you're saying, Zaire
first. This this is my thisis what got me to write this one.
Oh, here we go. Theevening news on television would start with
an image of Mbutu descending through theclouds like a god descending from the heavens.
(20:00):
Okay, like the beginning of theSimpsons, but instead of the Simpsons,
it's just him boot no God.That is amazing, isn't it.
The fact that people continue to livein a country like this. I feel
so bad for the people that hadto you know, it's just like this
(20:22):
shit again. You know the newsstarts to them, Oh good, oh
the news is on, like youknow how you like, no matter what
state you go to, no matterwhat city or in if there's different news
you basically know how the news start, you know how. But this is
Staright on actual news or nine.It's like the same time. Baby,
it's naming emperors. Bah. It'sjust more obnoxious than than any local news,
(20:48):
like competing with their Doppler nine thousandradar technology. Yeah, our doppler
is better than new yor Doppler.Well, this one, Mubootu is the
is the doppler. He tells youthe weather. I'm a bood do dapler
coming in with a storm. You'regonna want to know about more to eleven.
Also, just like most dictators,his photo would appear everywhere, including
on stamps and a new currency thathe made. Dudes on stamps before he
(21:12):
dies. Huh. You could evenfind his photo on cloth that was sold
for making men and women's clothing.If you search this guy's name, that's
like one of the first images thatcomes up. Wow, there's a lot
of patterns with his face in themfor clothes. He's okay. He's okay
with being on other people's clothes.He's just not okay with you wearing his
(21:33):
clothes. No imitations. While whilehe was dictator, he did standard dictator
stuff. He killed those who spokeout against him, and with all the
money at the top, many ofhis people starved. So because he's he's
funneling all the government money into hisprivate bank account and then he's just paying
off people to serve him. Soall the money, all the money in
(21:56):
the country is now booms right tothe top top one percent of one percent.
Wow. Thanks yeah, thanks,the top two percent of the one
percent of the Zarian children. Ihave no money, okay, thank you,
Bertie, no problem. Mubutu wasspending billions of dollars on himself and
his family. He would overpay hisgenerals or other people that might want to
(22:19):
overthrow him. Yeah, yeah,you want to do that, and then
he would underpay his soldiers. Soanybody who had tons of power, he
made sure that they were always happyby just like throwing money at them.
But then your soldiers who have whohave to answer to all these higher ups
basically are getting paid nothing, right, and they're not going to organize and
(22:40):
overthrow you. You don't know,that's never gonna have. Many of the
soldiers were forced at gunpoint by theirpeople, but they're people who were in
charge of them to steal from civiliansjust so they would have money to eat.
Oh wow, So in order,so you join the army. Why
do you join the army? Soyou so you could legally steal from citizens
(23:03):
and then you would have money tobuy things. So that wow, Like
you were so poor that joining thearmy and still being poor was the only
way because then you could steal,because then you could steal and get away
with it and have some sort ofmoney. You could keep one jump ahead
of the breadline, be one sword. Sure, yeah, I mean yeah,
(23:25):
yeah, one day steal, butonly what you can afford. I
get it, I get it,yeah, exactly. And there's no money
at the bottom because nobody has money, so then nobody could buy goods.
And then blah blah blah. It'sa big circle and it sucks. Cool
circle of life. Mbotu was alsowas also one of the men who was
instrumental in bringing in the Rumble tothe jungle boxing match between Muhammada Yeah and
(23:48):
George Foreman to Zaire on the thirtiethof October nineteen seventy four. According to
the documentary When We Were Kings,promoter Don King promised each fighter five hundred
US million dollars five hundred dollars fivehundred million dollars. That's US currency for
the fight. Mubooto was the onlyone who is willing to fund such amounts.
(24:11):
Muboot wanting to expand his country's image, wow, put up the national
the nation's money to do so.According to a quote from the film,
Ali supposedly said quote, some countriesgo to war to get their names out
there, and war has cost alot more than ten million dollars. Wait,
so five million each? Ten million? Yet? So five million each?
(24:34):
He's ten million? Okay? Ithought you said five hundred million.
No, no, no, no, no, no, whoa, that's
crazy. That's too much money fornineteen five million dollars in nineteen seventy four.
It's a ton of them. Iknow. I just completely my my
image of Muhammad Ali completely. Wow, but that's still crazy. Five million
each? Yeah, funded by thegovernment of Zayre. This isn't coming out
(24:55):
of his private begger. No,this is coming out of the very limited
money that don king makes this crazypro and then somebody crazy or is like,
oh I'll do it, I coulddo it. Oh wow. I
didn't think anybody was gonna say yes, my people are dying in the streets
from starvation. But hey, wegotta get our name for out there so
people know who knew what Zaire isbecause we changed the name. Of course,
Mubo too was married, okay,because you're you have to be married.
(25:19):
And of course he had a mistresswho was beautiful. Of course I
remember his twenty one day sexual escapade. Her name. His mistress's name was
Bobby, Bobby Lendawa Bobby. Whenhis wife died in nineteen seventy seven,
he made Bobby his wife and thentook her identical twin sister as his mistress.
(25:42):
No problem, no, so justkeep going, Bobby, Bobby.
It's just that, it's just thatI'm I'm so used to having you on
the side. Oh yeah, butnow you could have me now, just
me and you, Oh yeah yeah, me and my boo boo. I
love to have my movie just Ilove looking at you on the side moo
(26:03):
boo boo. Yeah. No,look you can look at me on the
side, on the front, inthe back, I love in the back.
Yeah. Don't ever tell anybody thatyou call me boo boo boooo,
No, no, please don't.We're just a lone. It's just Frank
the guard. He shouldn't have anEnglish name. Frank, get out of
here, Frank, get out ofhere. Okay, I used to go
(26:25):
to school. Do you remember Ilet all those crickets? Yeah? Yeah,
yeah, thanks you changed my name. Yeah, you were a great
center Frank. Uh huh, heused to be a brankster. Right anyway,
yeah what anyway? Um, yoursister works here? Now what?
Oh in the kitchen? Yeah,I hate that bitch. Yeah, she's
the kitchen mistress. No, she'sthe kitchen mistress. It's different, kitchen
(26:47):
mistress. It's different. It's overdifferent thing. It's over. Yeah.
See it's not because I'm a dictator. You're my wife now, oh weird?
Yeah, this is okay, sidetrackreal quick, even though even this
whole podcast is supposed to be sidetracks. I think that's what we should call
it, side tracks, side podcasts. I never understood this thing with like
(27:07):
the identical twin sister fetish. Yeah, what you've never seen a Coors light
commercial and twe twins is that Millerlight or Chors later? Who is it?
Is it? It was back,it was way back in the day's
way back. I like football onTV and tweener man twins. Yeah,
right, dumb commercials h dumb theI never understood that because it's like,
(27:30):
what's the point in cheating on yourwife if she looks exactly like your wife?
That's a great boy. This isa situation that I don't think has
ever happened in history where the mistresswas the twin of But what happens all
the time. It's this weird fetishthat people have. I don't care now
on this podcast is about mistresses andand wives that look identical. I could
look up mistresses. This is aMari Povic podcast from now on. So
(27:52):
that's really stupid. So he it'snow he's dating and twins. Insane.
Yeah. At this point, mubootwho had no real concept of what anything
cost and would just spend money becausewhen you have because tons of money,
you have to Robert, you haveto spend money to make money. And
he knows that principal, and sodoes Donald J. Trump. On a
(28:14):
typical day, he could wake upand immediately get a massage from a team
of Chinese Chinese messrs. Would hebrought in Chinese masseurish because they're the best.
They're walking all over his back.He would eat a lavish breakfast on
this terrace, followed shortly by oneof many bottles of Laurent Perrier. Okay,
(28:37):
so so far, at this pointin the day, I could be
a dictator. Yeah, I'm enjoyingit so far. It keep going.
He's drinking pink champagne. Lunch wouldbe fried muscles flown in from Belgium and
washed down with a bottle of nineteenthirties wine. Wow, I love that
in Belgium, Congo, they stillthink everything from Belgium is the best.
It's just the best. After lunch, he would either get a bar from
(29:00):
New York, a hairdresser from Paris, or various florists from many different places
would come in and lay down flowersand do stuff. How many times you're
gonna get your hair done once aweek? Okay, at least when you're
a dictator. You got to keepthat tight even though you're always wearing that
leopard You wearing that hat, allright, keep it under that hat.
He would then have secret meetings withthe Freemasons that he would call voodoo sessions.
(29:22):
Any questions, no, yeah,hey on behalf of the Freemasons.
Can we just call these meetings?Take off that hat. Okay, here
you go. What's it? Now? You have a gerbil wearing another hat,
and that gerbil hat is wearing aleopard skin hat in prison. That
gerbal No, don't take no.Steve Stuart little four got weird his palaces.
(29:45):
Yeah, palaces. Do you thinkfor a second that I thought this
man just had one palace? Ofcourse, I've heard enough dictator stuff.
I know how many palaces he has. He's got four. They were insane.
Yeah, his private palace hit aprivate palace. The other palace is
like anybody can come in. He'sjust come and go as he plays.
Okay, come into my palace,come in, walk around doing everyway.
(30:07):
Hey, don't take that's mine,all right, take it, it's fine.
His private palace was filled with paintings, sculptures, stained glass, uh
Louis, the fourteenth furniture marble fromItaly, and two swimming pools, surrounded
by speakers that he would play.Gregarian chance his favorite. That's the weirdest
thing. He that's the weirdest thingso far. He likes Gregarian chant.
(30:30):
It's Gregorian chance, Yes, GregorianGregarian Gregorian definition of the word place.
That's insane. Why would he listento that. That's the worst. You
don't have that on your Spotify.Turn it up. Turn it up,
(30:52):
dj oh, turn it up djas. He's in one of his two
pools. Turn it out. I'mgetting crunk. I'm gonna switch to my
other pool. I'm getting pruny.Oh no, god, this is this
man. For those of you whodon't know what these chants are, I'm
gonna if you're not already crazy,which clearly he is by everything he owns,
this is gonna make you crazy.What are you talking about? How
(31:15):
to hold on? By the way, I'm on YouTube looking up Gregorian Chance,
so the government has flagged you.I just want you to know none
of these are under an hour long. Of course. I'm just hey,
I'm just gonna go for a swimreal quick. Yeah, I just want
to get a dip. Welcome tothe party. Work on my backstroke real
(31:40):
quick. Let me skip ahead andsee if it's any different. Yeah,
I'm sure. The beat drops abouttwenty five minutes, and this is an
hour later, and we picked upmid sentence, and I'm going to jump
to another hour, so we're twohours in. How long is this one?
This is two hours and thirteen minutesend. Look you did you know
how many things I've was it onYouTube that immediately been flagged and taken down
(32:01):
YouTube. Get on this. Thisdoesn't need to be out there. You
can't take this down. Dude,doesn't need to be there. Don't censor.
Don't censor my music. Dude,get it out. Dad, you
don't understand. Don't call it music. This is my music, son,
what I don't know where you camefrom. I came from God. I
raised you on Aerosmith and the Doorsand a little Cisco. We all love
(32:29):
Cisco Cisco. I like, butthank you, but this is my favorite
music. Dad. You don't getit. You're old, I'm all do
you know when this was? Shutdad? Shut up, Dad. It's
my favorite part. It's my favoritepart, this part. Oh, I
can't wait for this party. Ohdinner's ready to hear that? Yeah?
(32:51):
Oh so good. You didn't evenknow it was coming here. It was
a bell. That was a bell, dad, I want to move away.
The only instrument in that was abell. Move away, go ahead.
So that's a Gregorian chant. Justimagine this guy in the middle.
Yeah, you know, I can'tfind a mistake so far. Keep no,
(33:13):
he's killing it so far, okay, so, but the nineties things
started to go pretty south. FromMBOO two. With a Cold War coming
to an end without the threat ofthe Red Menace, the US ended support
from MBOO two. It's about timeyou asked, Wow, it's about that
was like thirty plus years of support, just to make sure we'd rather have
(33:37):
a crazy dictator who murders all hispeople. Hey, not communist, so
that way communism can't spread. Yeah, oh my god, that's so stupid.
The Cold World Bill? Is thisBill? Clinton then at this point
ending it? I hope. Soyeah, somebody please. At that point,
a year was bankrupt and couldn't payits foreign debts. The people were
(33:57):
destitute, roads were impassable, andmajor cities were in collapse. Without the
support of Western countries, Mubootu wasa sitting duck. Wow. And also
it didn't help that Mubootu had buttholecancer. Oh no, oh no,
the technical term. Oh no,I'm writing these now. Yeah. Well,
(34:19):
I mean I've been writing them thewhole time. But then I'm like,
why am I not using my ownlanguage? Sometimes I'm reading it and
I'm like yeah, And this alsoreminds me of the time you said,
why am I not a doctor?Why am I not a doctor? Showed
me your butthole. I can't thinkof you got butthole tumor? I know,
I think you'd be a great doctor. It would be a great doctor.
At this point, his generals andmilitary were more trained in the art
(34:43):
of stealing than actual warfare because theydidn't fight anybody. Yeah, and they
would just steal from everybody else.So when rival armies would show up to
fight, they'd lose their wallets.Wait but wait, I had it,
I had Oh, man, theyare quick. You think they'd be great
if they like stole their guns,but they didn't. They just want to
go for money. Still have mygun, shoot them. So when rival
(35:06):
armies are okay, So, whenrival armies would show up to fight,
Mu Bootoo's guys would shoot wildly,and then when they realized things weren't We're
going pretty bad, they would justtake off their uniforms and run. Yeah.
No, I'm not with the army. No no, no, no,
no no no no, I'm justnaked dude in the woods. We're
(35:28):
all naked here. Yeah. Hey, welcome to zaire man. This is
this is what the country is like. You guys want to listen to some
Gregorian Chance? Did I sure youwant to take this over him? High?
Come on, dude, It's mostlyjust naked dudes and Gregorian Chance.
I'm just oh, whoa, you'rekilling him? I wrote that song.
I wrote it, copyright me.Yeah, Boo Boo is a real musician
(35:52):
here, Mike Boo Boo. Helikes to go. So, after thirty
two years of dictatorship, he waseventually overthrown by a guy who was backed
by Rwanda, Burundi and Uganda.So those three countiers are like, hey,
Zaire sick, You're you're were,You're easily able to be taken over.
Now without your we're gonna team upand take Zaire. They immediately changed
(36:15):
the name back to Congo, okay, and Mubutu fled to Morocco. But
his son he had, he hadsome kids. One of his son,
uh Congolo Congolo Mubutu. That washis son's name. Yeah, stayed Congolo
was a short, stocky and hada long beard. Okay. He scoured
(36:38):
the Congo looking for those who betrayedhis father. He ended up killing about
a hundred people before he had toflee and then died shortly after of AIDS.
That's a whole story in itself,right there. Whoa, this was
just killing people on his own.Yeah, so move. So he's upset,
(36:58):
yeah, that his dad got oustedbecause he thinks his dad is the
best, Like, because he wastold from a very young age his dad
was the best. He grew upwith the most things. He grew up
with a ton of money. Hedidn't really understand. He thought that poor
people didn't deserve it, and hethought his dad was the best. So
when his dad got ousted, hegot upset, and he with all the
money and and uh like networking thathe had, was able to go around
(37:23):
and kill over a hundred people.And the only thing that stopped him is
he by himself, no, orshe paid other people to help him.
But the only thing to stop himis that it was the early nineties and
AIDS was rampant. Yeah, andhe got AIDS. That was the only
thing to stop him was his dick. Wow, what a psycho. But
(37:50):
also I kind of get it,like he kind of get the AIDS.
I No, I don't. Ijust kind of get that he's like my
father was the best. How dareyou. I have to do this.
This is my life's mission. Though. If my dad got fired from his
job, Like, I don't knowhow many people i'd kill? What zero?
Yeah, I mean yeah, Imean say yeah. I'm just saying
it would probably be a small number. Mboo two died, he's retired.
(38:13):
Don't worry about it, okay.Mboo two died on the seventh of September
nineteen ninety seven from butthole cancer.Oh we're gonna say prostate cancer. Sure,
okay. And since you asked lasttime about people who replaced the dictator,
Yeah, where do you go?The guy that replaced him, Steve
(38:34):
Steve Quail. No, the guywho replaced him, Cabilla became the new
president of Congo. Okay. Cabillowas assassinated two thousand and one, but
he was succeeded by his son,Joseph Cabilla. To this day, the
Democratic Republic of Congo is in unrestwith many civil wars. Yeah, there's
(38:57):
actually two congos. No, JosephCabilla is still president and is coming to
the end of his second term.But the country is awaiting the finish of
their sentence of their sensus, sothey need to finish the sentence. Census
can't say they need to finish theirsensus so they could see if people are
rigging the election. You don't knowhow many You need to find out how
(39:19):
many people live where and who's votingso you can so you can tally the
votes correctly. Otherwise, if youdon't get that done first, then it's
like, I'm not saying that Cabilla. I don't know enough about the situation
to say that he is rigging theelection. The people of the Congo are
like, we can't do this unlesswe have the census done. Okay,
So that way we all know thatit's on the up and up. Ye,
(39:40):
okay and good. So they're stillgoing over to see if he'll be
in the third term or what exactlyis going on. There's a lot of
people. Okay, do a census. There's two congos now. It's it's
very difficult when you when you whena country gets that low with like money
and the problems that it has inlike corruption, it's it takes a long
(40:00):
time to get it out of that. I can't imagine. So he's like,
go do this census. Go outfind out how many congos there are
they came back after many years.Congos. We thought there were two.
They're sixteen. Also, it doesn'thelp that a lot of the Congo is
a forest that is like uninhabitable.There's a lot of naked people in there
who are like, I live Ilive here, Well, sometimes I live
(40:23):
over by that tree, but thisis the tree I'm live by. The
palace in which Mubooto used to liveis now in ruins, a shell of
what it once was. Sure thereis still a small group of Mubooto loyalists
whose parents or grandparents used to workthere at the palace. They charge visitors
(40:46):
twenty dollars for a tour and carryout routine maintenance to prevent the building from
becoming from being completely gone. Andthen I end it with I already explained
this. There are two today,there are two congos. There are Public
of Congo and the Democratic Republic ofCongo. Oh what, that's the story
of Mubuoto. Do you know adifference? But I mean, I don't
(41:08):
know anything about the difference between thetwo. No. Um, it's very
complicated. It's a very complicated situation. Yeah, I'm sure there's maybe there's
a listener who knows a lot.Please let us know. Oh my god,
please let us know. I'm surethere's also a song I believe I
heard about. Um It's it's likeI don't know, I don't know,
(41:30):
right, I don't know how manycongo there are, right, yeah,
yeah, yeah, Jimmy Buffett,Yeah, Jimy Buffett did do that,
that remix of the old the oldchant that I that I had heard.
Yeah. So that is the storyof Mubuotu, the crazy guy with thick
(41:50):
glasses, uh leopard hat cane.If you saw a picture of him,
you'd probably like, oh, Isaw him somewhere at right time. You
also probably remember I remember. Ithink it was like middle school or elementary
school. I think it was elementaryschool, the elementary school, learning about
like zaire. Yeah, I remember, oh yeah yeah, like when you
said Zayre, I'm like, oh, yeah, I know it's that here.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure when Itook um wow, now they think
(42:14):
about it, when I took atest on filling out Africa and filling out
all the countries was one of them. Now they made it difficult. Now
there's two or congos and you gotit. You could flip them around and
they have very similar names. Ohmy god, there's two Congos. There's
a wife and a mistress. Theylook the same. I'm getting them confused.
So how do you what do youthink about that? What do you
think about this guy? I thinkI think I gotta get a cane and
(42:37):
a hat and I can rule acountry. It's insane that people come to
power like this, that they votethem in and then as soon as they
change the rules, as soon asthey start saying things like Okay, you
had power, you don't have poweranymore. I have more power. I'm
gonna give myself more power. IMgonna give you the less power. That
should be the red flag, right, that should be the thing. And
(42:57):
America stop backing these people. No, no, we got to. We
got to. We got to.We got to. Sounds like another later
that we've probably given a ton ofmoney too. It's ridiculous. Yeah,
no, I know, stop it. We have to. We had to
do it because we were so afraidof communism. Yeah, I mean,
the more you learn about the ColdWar, like, how was that not
(43:20):
communism? Like that was worse thancommunism. Yeah, but it wasn't communism,
Mike, right, it wasn't technicallycommunism, and we think it's better.
It wasn't going to munism. Butplease, if it's just, if
I could on behalf, get onbehalf of communism is not a bed something,
you know what I'm saying, like, Hey, look, you can
wear whatever hats you want. Huh, huh, how about that? Huh?
(43:43):
Get out of here, Leopard,get out of hagar. No,
Cheetah, cheetah, whatever you want, you have cheetahs? Fuck you?
Hey did you kill it cheetah oris it fake cheeta? It's fake cheat
good? I love cheetah. Okay, take take this hat off. Look
at this end. Oh it's anotherhat? And see I got any many
hats? Are you a person insideof a person? I'm a hat salesman
inside of a hat. Yes,anything else you have on him? No,
(44:07):
thank you for teaching me about that. I had no idea about how
why I knew as I air.So that's interesting. Actually, that dude
was a psycho. I'm gonna showMike a picture. Okay, I'm ready,
and I want to see your chuckles. All right, here you go.
What are you looking him? Oh? This guy loves that hat.
(44:29):
He also is wearing a hipster shirt. Oh, it is the most hipstery
shirt. Oh he loves leopards somuch. Is that real leopard? He
didn't wear real leopard? Oh whata jerk. Oh you don't think this.
Do you think this guy who murderedpeople cares about animals? I like
to believe. God, why ishe wearing these blouses? They're like leopard,
(44:51):
They're like leopard print. Like justno, they're blouse. Now,
they're blouses. Oh man, you'relucky he died of butthole cancer. Otherwise
he'd kill us. Yeah, that'sfine. I just take that guy on
and his blouse and his he didhave hipster glasses though he was he was
hipster before hips. Hey, hipster'sjust a just a just a note real
quick. I'm fine with what youguys are trying to do, but like,
(45:13):
don't be like this guy. Comeon, stop dressing like ticktators.
Don't you don't want to be adictator. Come on, all right,
that's it. Mistakes were made.
Welcome. Two Mistakes Were Made apodcast about mistakes made in history, hosted
by two guys who are two mistakesthemselves. I am Robert Bacon and with
me as always, I'm my coffin. He's doing finger guns right there.
You guys. Oh, I thoughtthat was a sound effect you put in
there. No, there's no soundeffects in there. Oh, I appreciate
(00:30):
it. That was cool. Theonly sound effects I have on sound effects
I could I could play anything.It's just this is just hooked up to
my phone. You just have ajust a library of sound effects in there.
Yeah, all right, don't you. Wow? Okay, I'm impressed.
(00:54):
Hey you that was a lot andall at once. I'll get you
get them all? You get themright there? Well, I get them
all at once. That's what youget with Mistakes Were Made this week,
you guys, we are sticking withour awesome dictators. Yes, you like
it right? This is becoming adictator podcast. Yeah, well this is
like my favorite murder, but it'smy favorite dictator. Okay, I love
(01:17):
it. These Are you ready forthis one? Mike? Ready to go
teach me something? I hope thisguy was nice, super nice. That's
what that's what this one is thatevery dictator wants to be nice. I
believe that in my heart, butit's hard when your name is mu Bootu
c c ccoooo. Now is thisCanada? What are we talking about?
(01:42):
Yep was born on the fourteenth ofOctober nineteen thirty and what was then the
Belgian congo. Oh, the Belgiancongo named after the movie Congo Oh okay,
the talking monkey named Amy. Ohthat congo okay, gotcha? Gota
Mubotu's mother was a hotel maid whomarried a cook for a Belgian judge,
(02:08):
so his dad was a cook fora Belgian judge. The wife of the
Belgian judge took a liking to mubootand taught him to speak, read,
and write French fluently. Wow right, that's cool, well done, little
kid. Yeah. After Mubooto's fatherpassed away when he was eight, his
mother sent him to live with hisuncle and grandfather so he could tend so
(02:30):
he could attend a Christian boarding schoolin nineteen thirty eight. Why was that
a thing? That was always athing? Kids were getting sent to go
live with relatives all the time.Yeah, that that was happening up until
Fresh Prince of bel Air. Ibelieve it was the last time. That
was the last time that we didit, and then it was kind of
died out. It's like single mother, Send him away, send him that's
(02:51):
it. Go live with your relatives. I don't know why they did that.
It was It's really really difficult justwith one person back in the day,
imagine. But this kid's amazing.He's already speaking French. Yeah,
I'm reading and writing and doing allthat stuff. Making waffles because the Belgium
people taught him totally obviously, youknow. That's I mean when his dad
was a cook, that's all hemade. Well, that's all you make.
They just call him waffles. Theydon't call m Belgian waffles. Sure,
(03:13):
Mumbootu was tall and athletic, sohe dominated school sports. Are you
talking about Dikembe Mtumbo? No,okay, just make sure. I just
want to make sure. Sorry tomake sure. Yet he also was no
dumb dum and excelled in academic subjectsand ran the class newspaper. No,
that was that was madum dumb.It was just madame dumb. Madame dum.
(03:36):
Yes, get in here, okay, Madame dum. Yes, what'd
you release? A bunch of cricketsinto the gymnasium. I thought it'd be
a funny prank too. I don'tthink you understand how pranks work. Usually
you don't scream your own name,dum and can I can I have a
pancake? Now? No, youcan't. This isn't it's four and afternoon.
(04:00):
No, but dumb, dumb.You don't just walk in and scream
it and then do it. That'snot a prank. You do it in
the dead of night when no one'sthere. Gregets, no, dumb,
dumb. Okay, I'm only goingto pass to you this year so you
can get out of my goddamn here. Despite this, he was still considered
troublesome and unruly. He would distractother students with his quote pranks, oh
(04:26):
really, and interrupt teachers. Soso far, he's basically me when I
was little. Okay, is aclass clown? Yeah? Yeah? I
mean how I got sent to theprincipal's office so many times only for talking
really always talking in class? Metoo, the same thing. Actually,
my mom worked in the building.Oh it was like they'd call my name
and then my mom would be downthere. That's worse. That's awkward.
(04:48):
Yeah, every time? How manytimes? All the time? Yeah,
because you think it's like a littlestand up time for you. Yeah.
When they said when they would makean announcement to call someone down the office,
it was either me, my friendMike, or my friend Stanley every
time. There's one of the threeof us. Every time. How big
was your school? There were sevenkids? Okay, I don't know how
there how there's any problems with sevenkids in at his school, the teachers
(05:12):
would speak what was known as Flemish, which is a Dutch dialect. Yeah.
One of his teachers had a heavyFrench accent, and whenever he would
make a slight mistake, Mubuotu wouldjump to his feet and pointed out,
sending the class into fits of laughter. Wow, he's calling out the teacher
(05:33):
or on some bad Flemish. Yeah. Also, this is like back in
the day, Like that's funny,like people slightly speaking wrong. Oh,
you spoke wrong. We have noother forms of entertainment. Also, when
you're little, I guess anything differentis really funny. Oh my god.
Any anything when we would have toread out loud anytime somebody messed up was
(05:57):
the funniest thing to today, nobodylikes you. Yeah, it was rough.
Yeah. One day when he waseighteen, maboot two left school without
permission to go to Lepoldville. Thatwrong, you're an idiot. Leopoldville,
Yeah, where he had where hehad a sexual escapade with a young woman
(06:23):
for several weeks. Whoa, whoaeighteen, he's been waiting for this.
He's a motor boat up also forseveral weeks. Dude, when you're young
and when you're escapade last several weeks. When you're ambootwo and you're a rock
(06:45):
hard for a while, that's ayeah. Twenty one night, one night
stand. Yeah, I bet hehad a blast. Yeah. When he
finally returned to school because his wienerwas just so tired, they were just
like, huh still in that sexualescapade. Huh yeah, weird. All
right, Well, if somebody wantsto fill them in on the homework,
(07:09):
mudumtu, yes, can you gogive Mubutu his homework? Cricket? No,
don't go give him crickets. Iwant to be the center. No
on the basketball team. Okay,done? Really, yes, just go
give him his home. What itwas when he finally returned to school,
he was caught stealing books from theschool library so he could sell them.
(07:31):
So he goes on a sexual escosodedid that? No you didn't. No
I didn't because my mom was alibrarian and she would have killed me.
So he goes on the sexual escapade, probably runs out of money, goes
back to the school. He's like, I know what I can do,
but go back to the school andsteal those books to sell them, and
I'll get those books for free thatthey're just giving them away, and I'll
sell them for a sweet profit.Also, we're kind of books are at
(07:54):
a school library that like somebody wouldlike to buy. I don't want to
buy a pre algebra Do you havelike a book book? Now? What
is this, Nancy Drew? Isthat invented yet? Well? This is
the first edition? Wow, sothis is a big deal. They kind
of came down hard on him onthis one because he was one expelled from
(08:16):
school and in lieu of a prisonsentence, he was ordered to serve a
seven year term in the army.Oh whoa stok. That was not standard,
right. I think there was justhard up because he was like,
didn't have any money. I wasyoung and I don't know if it was
black, because it was part ofit. Okay. So I mean,
there's it's Congo. There's tons ofblack people, but I think it was
(08:37):
run by mostly Belgians. Wow,So okay, So hey, here's you're
eighteen. You messed up, soyou're gonna be twenty five when this is
all over. Yeah, and uh, you know, just have served in
the military and maybe died. Well, here's the thing, here's a good
twist. All right, this wasthe best thing to ever happen in Mbutu,
really was. He jazzed about it. He came to appreciate discipline and
(09:00):
quickly rose to the ranks of thearmy. In nineteen sixty Congo gained independence.
Okay, but this new independence sentthe country into turmoil for many years.
I could probably do a whole podcastabout the coups that happened and all
the details, because they're they're wacky. It gets yeah, it gets really
(09:20):
complicated and very much just a longthree students. Yeah anyway, but let's
just get to the juicy parts.Okay, let's skip over all that.
So then in nineteen sixty five,Mubutu was slowly climbing into power. He
took advantage of the Cold War bysaying that he was strictly anti communist,
so countries like the United States backedhim to gain power. All right,
(09:41):
that's how stupid it was back inthe day during the Cold War. If
you if you said anything about wantingto be a communist enemy, yeah,
to all, but then Russia wouldbe on your side. You're like,
I want to be a maybe we'llbe communist Russia. Boom money, we
love you, Blaze, Blizz bust. You know what, Actually not communist
America money guns wouldn't like you anymore, exactly. The United the United
(10:05):
States backed him to gain power.So in nineteen seventy Congo had a presidential
election and move and move boot itwas the only candidate. Okay. So
here's the thing with that, Um, why why wasn't there anybody else involved?
Just him? That doesn't make anysense. That's because, well,
it's because the power behind him.He had the power of the United States
(10:28):
government. Okay, that's enough forme to say, I'm out. See
this guy's got the US behind him. I'm good and nobody else has anybody
like So you'll get Blizz, butwe'll back you, Blizz. You communist
dell you like us, So comeon, I think you can get If
you said you're a communist, youcan get killed. Probably. Okay,
all right, we'll see you letthem. Voters were offered a two ballot,
two ballot choices, even though Mubootuwas only on the Wait a minute,
(10:52):
I think I know what the otherone is? Cool, So muboo
two or yeah, a donkey,the donkey one and a landside every time,
that goddamn donkey is so personable anddemocratic. Yeah. No, They're
offered two choices, and they weredone in colors, green for hope or
(11:13):
red for chaos. Oh, okay, which one was? He? He
was both? Uh okay, that'slike, all right, you have a
choice to vote. Green means hope, Red means chaos. Vote. That's
like, you don't have a choice. That's ridiculous. It's like saying should
choose between PEPSI or being set onfire. Yes, that's like when your
(11:37):
girlfriend gives you choices and one isto hang out with her or the others
to go hang out with your friends. Oh, there's not a choice.
Sorry, I said yes before Iheard the second one. Anyway, so
guess what Mubutu won. The voteten million onety one thousand, six hundred
(11:58):
nine two one hundred and fifty seven. Fun fact, there's only two hundred
thousand people in the country at thistime. Guess what percentage of the vote
that is ninety eight percent ninety ninepoint nine. Wow, that's um that
happened. That was accurate. Soit's very first thing that he decided to
(12:20):
do once he gained power. Hereduced the powers of basically any other position
in government and out and outlawed politicalparties. There you go, that's what
you do. You do it quick. The next year he changed the name
of the country to the Republic ofZaire. Yeah, have fun. He
ordered the people to drop their Europeannames for African ones. He told priests
that if they would face five yearsimprisonment if they were caught baptizing a Zairian
(12:46):
child with a European name. Butthis kid wants to be named Steve,
no, can't be done. Yeah, but he wants to be Steve.
No, can't be done. Hasto be an African name. Okay,
Stevo, Steve Stevo a good compromtoryof Steve and that's a good compromise.
Yeah. Uh. Western attire andties were banned, and men were forced
(13:07):
to wear a mouse style tunic knownas an abacost. A mouse style tunic
is like the same thing that likeKim Jong un wears. Oh that like
suit that hidden buttons in the bucket. I gotta be honest, this's real
communist looking. You know. It'skind of funny that the US wasn't like,
Hey, wait a minute, man, um, I don't know I
(13:30):
feel about your jacket choice. Hey, could we back you in your jackets?
We'll pay for him, we'll getdifferent jackets. But it's just that
I like this one. Okay,alright, alright, yeah, I like
the tie. Yeah you do youI can't tie the tie double winds are
single windsor I don't know why I'mRussian? Man, this guy? You
know what? I thought it wasso US, and now I'm worried about
I saw United the States of America. Okay, all right, you sing
(13:52):
your song, oh beautiful, Okay, for spacious place or grains that can
be sold, he's close for moundpins, majesty, abro fruit plane.
It's just we're gonna have to takeit as a remake. RuSHA. Oh
(14:16):
you hear Russia I say that soundlike Russie and kid Americans American? Yeah,
it's American. Part of the endalways gets me, all right,
So Mubuto here's the best part.Mbutu started wearing his signature look, yeah,
(14:37):
you gotta do it. Thick frameglasses. Wait a minute, Kim
John, a leopard skin cat allright, and a wooden walking stick with
an eagle carved into the top.How awesome is this? Look? It's
tunics. Pretty good luck, bigold thick glasses, leopard hat, yeah,
(14:58):
cane eagle on top. Man,I hope those pants are purple.
That's that's a sweet look. Alligatorshoes. He is like this, guys
strutting down this It's like a dictatormet a pimp. It's perfect. He's
a pimptator. Yes, it's great. He claimed that the stick took the
strength of nine men to carry.Oh what a claim. Oh my god.
(15:26):
He also made it illegal for anyoneelse to wear a leopard skin hat
of any kind. So not onlydo you nail down that look? Okay,
you say the stick can take ninemen to carry, and then you
outlaw anybody else from try and evencopy your look. Okay, how awesome?
Now I gotta catch a cheetah tomake a different look at a hat.
That's gonna be tough. Dude,you don't want to push like.
(15:46):
I bet you. Nobody even worehats just to just like not even touch.
Yeah, you can't even come close. You can't even look close to
it. Oh my god. Mubuotorenamed himself mubuotu cccico nigugu nabudy za benga.
Hey, baby, name me beatthey did he bogauh, Try again,
(16:07):
baby beat Bobo wow, jazz babyis really going baby boo wowbooboo goo
goo ga. Give this jazz babyone of the few government radio stations.
You listen to this jazz baby allnight. That's some sweet sweet jazz baby.
(16:37):
Do you don't want to know whatthat means? Mboot ccico nigoku niboo
doo waza benga. You mean thatmeans something other than complete nonsense. No,
it means an all powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible
will to win, goes from conquestto conquest, leaving fire in his wake.
Hey, what's up? Hey,it's just that you know names.
(17:03):
Hey, what kind of print doyou have on your hat? What kind
of print is that? It's atiger? Tiger stripes? Okay, getting
dangerously close? Yeah, yeah,you know it's just tiger Jaco. No,
I wouldn't even Hey, thanks forthe name. Um, it's just
that names typically, are you knownames? And that's more like a sentence.
Yeah, it was like a smallparagraph. Really, when we get
(17:26):
down, When we get down,which part should I cut? Which part
is it? Me? Is itthe endurance and inflexible to win? Is
it more? Is it that Igo from conquest to conquest leaving fire in
my weight? Thatt's a tough questionbecause you're both of those things. You're
both those things. Take off yourhat? Okay, all right, why's
you another hat under your hat?It's just that Look that's a white tiger.
I don't like it. You're gettingeven dangerously more close. Take off
(17:47):
that hat. I don't know ifyou're gonna want me to take this hat
off? What are you taking it? Oh? Are you Russian? Because
you're like a Russian nest thing.Go with these hats. I like hats.
Yeah, yeah, I got ninehats. That one's just checkerboard.
I'll allow it. Thank you,Thank you, sir, thank you,
sir. So that's a great name. That's the hell of the name.
He kicked out all foreign born merchantsand took their businesses and that were total
(18:11):
worth about a billion dollars. Wow. So if you were if so,
you're like, you're there, you'reforeign born, you started your own company,
you're doing well. Sure you're done. It's the government's now great.
But what do they know about acrepe standard? I don't know anything about
it exactly. He basically took allthe money that the country is making from
(18:32):
mines, plantations, and other industriesand put that into his private bank account.
I'm glad you said mines. Atfirst I thought you said mimes.
I was like, what an interestingeconomy. All right, so Pierre,
you are going out into the middleof the square again, did you just
make annoys me? Pierre, you'refired. No, no, no,
(18:55):
no, that wasn't me. Thatwasn't me. You're just you're talking.
You're just talking. Worse parakeet youno, mine has a parakeet. That's
a pirate. Stop it, okay. Um, So he's just instead of
like other people would just like spendthe government's money, right, he just
said government's my money. That's mymoney. That's my money, that's my
(19:17):
money. Goodbye. Yeah. Healso he insisted that TV, radio and
newspapers would advocate the pride of Zaireand eliminate all foreign influences. So he's
very nationalistic. He's very like anythingoutside is bad the Republic of Zaire or
I think Zaire is the best,and you're gonna have to deal with that.
(19:38):
So Zare he has a Zaire firstpolicies. What you're saying, Zaire
first. This this is my thisis what got me to write this one.
Oh, here we go. Theevening news on television would start with
an image of Mbutu descending through theclouds like a god descending from the heavens.
(20:00):
Okay, like the beginning of theSimpsons, but instead of the Simpsons,
it's just him boot no God.That is amazing, isn't it.
The fact that people continue to livein a country like this. I feel
so bad for the people that hadto you know, it's just like this
(20:22):
shit again. You know the newsstarts to them, Oh good, oh
the news is on, like youknow how you like, no matter what
state you go to, no matterwhat city or in if there's different news
you basically know how the news start, you know how. But this is
Staright on actual news or nine.It's like the same time. Baby,
it's naming emperors. Bah. It'sjust more obnoxious than than any local news,
(20:48):
like competing with their Doppler nine thousandradar technology. Yeah, our doppler
is better than new yor Doppler.Well, this one, Mubootu is the
is the doppler. He tells youthe weather. I'm a bood do dapler
coming in with a storm. You'regonna want to know about more to eleven.
Also, just like most dictators,his photo would appear everywhere, including
on stamps and a new currency thathe made. Dudes on stamps before he
(21:12):
dies. Huh. You could evenfind his photo on cloth that was sold
for making men and women's clothing.If you search this guy's name, that's
like one of the first images thatcomes up. Wow, there's a lot
of patterns with his face in themfor clothes. He's okay. He's okay
with being on other people's clothes.He's just not okay with you wearing his
(21:33):
clothes. No imitations. While whilehe was dictator, he did standard dictator
stuff. He killed those who spokeout against him, and with all the
money at the top, many ofhis people starved. So because he's he's
funneling all the government money into hisprivate bank account and then he's just paying
off people to serve him. Soall the money, all the money in
(21:56):
the country is now booms right tothe top top one percent of one percent.
Wow. Thanks yeah, thanks,the top two percent of the one
percent of the Zarian children. Ihave no money, okay, thank you,
Bertie, no problem. Mubutu wasspending billions of dollars on himself and
his family. He would overpay hisgenerals or other people that might want to
(22:19):
overthrow him. Yeah, yeah,you want to do that, and then
he would underpay his soldiers. Soanybody who had tons of power, he
made sure that they were always happyby just like throwing money at them.
But then your soldiers who have whohave to answer to all these higher ups
basically are getting paid nothing, right, and they're not going to organize and
(22:40):
overthrow you. You don't know,that's never gonna have. Many of the
soldiers were forced at gunpoint by theirpeople, but they're people who were in
charge of them to steal from civiliansjust so they would have money to eat.
Oh wow, So in order,so you join the army. Why
do you join the army? Soyou so you could legally steal from citizens
(23:03):
and then you would have money tobuy things. So that wow, Like
you were so poor that joining thearmy and still being poor was the only
way because then you could steal,because then you could steal and get away
with it and have some sort ofmoney. You could keep one jump ahead
of the breadline, be one sword. Sure, yeah, I mean yeah,
(23:25):
yeah, one day steal, butonly what you can afford. I
get it, I get it,yeah, exactly. And there's no money
at the bottom because nobody has money, so then nobody could buy goods.
And then blah blah blah. It'sa big circle and it sucks. Cool
circle of life. Mbotu was alsowas also one of the men who was
instrumental in bringing in the Rumble tothe jungle boxing match between Muhammada Yeah and
(23:48):
George Foreman to Zaire on the thirtiethof October nineteen seventy four. According to
the documentary When We Were Kings,promoter Don King promised each fighter five hundred
US million dollars five hundred dollars fivehundred million dollars. That's US currency for
the fight. Mubooto was the onlyone who is willing to fund such amounts.
(24:11):
Muboot wanting to expand his country's image, wow, put up the national
the nation's money to do so.According to a quote from the film,
Ali supposedly said quote, some countriesgo to war to get their names out
there, and war has cost alot more than ten million dollars. Wait,
so five million each? Ten million? Yet? So five million each?
(24:34):
He's ten million? Okay? Ithought you said five hundred million.
No, no, no, no, no, no, whoa, that's
crazy. That's too much money fornineteen five million dollars in nineteen seventy four.
It's a ton of them. Iknow. I just completely my my
image of Muhammad Ali completely. Wow, but that's still crazy. Five million
each? Yeah, funded by thegovernment of Zayre. This isn't coming out
(24:55):
of his private begger. No,this is coming out of the very limited
money that don king makes this crazypro and then somebody crazy or is like,
oh I'll do it, I coulddo it. Oh wow. I
didn't think anybody was gonna say yes, my people are dying in the streets
from starvation. But hey, wegotta get our name for out there so
people know who knew what Zaire isbecause we changed the name. Of course,
Mubo too was married, okay,because you're you have to be married.
(25:19):
And of course he had a mistresswho was beautiful. Of course I
remember his twenty one day sexual escapade. Her name. His mistress's name was
Bobby, Bobby Lendawa Bobby. Whenhis wife died in nineteen seventy seven,
he made Bobby his wife and thentook her identical twin sister as his mistress.
(25:42):
No problem, no, so justkeep going, Bobby, Bobby.
It's just that, it's just thatI'm I'm so used to having you on
the side. Oh yeah, butnow you could have me now, just
me and you, Oh yeah yeah, me and my boo boo. I
love to have my movie just Ilove looking at you on the side moo
(26:03):
boo boo. Yeah. No,look you can look at me on the
side, on the front, inthe back, I love in the back.
Yeah. Don't ever tell anybody thatyou call me boo boo boooo,
No, no, please don't.We're just a lone. It's just Frank
the guard. He shouldn't have anEnglish name. Frank, get out of
here, Frank, get out ofhere. Okay, I used to go
(26:25):
to school. Do you remember Ilet all those crickets? Yeah? Yeah,
yeah, thanks you changed my name. Yeah, you were a great
center Frank. Uh huh, heused to be a brankster. Right anyway,
yeah what anyway? Um, yoursister works here? Now what?
Oh in the kitchen? Yeah,I hate that bitch. Yeah, she's
the kitchen mistress. No, she'sthe kitchen mistress. It's different, kitchen
(26:47):
mistress. It's different. It's overdifferent thing. It's over. Yeah.
See it's not because I'm a dictator. You're my wife now, oh weird?
Yeah, this is okay, sidetrackreal quick, even though even this
whole podcast is supposed to be sidetracks. I think that's what we should call
it, side tracks, side podcasts. I never understood this thing with like
(27:07):
the identical twin sister fetish. Yeah, what you've never seen a Coors light
commercial and twe twins is that Millerlight or Chors later? Who is it?
Is it? It was back,it was way back in the day's
way back. I like football onTV and tweener man twins. Yeah,
right, dumb commercials h dumb theI never understood that because it's like,
(27:30):
what's the point in cheating on yourwife if she looks exactly like your wife?
That's a great boy. This isa situation that I don't think has
ever happened in history where the mistresswas the twin of But what happens all
the time. It's this weird fetishthat people have. I don't care now
on this podcast is about mistresses andand wives that look identical. I could
look up mistresses. This is aMari Povic podcast from now on. So
(27:52):
that's really stupid. So he it'snow he's dating and twins. Insane.
Yeah. At this point, mubootwho had no real concept of what anything
cost and would just spend money becausewhen you have because tons of money,
you have to Robert, you haveto spend money to make money. And
he knows that principal, and sodoes Donald J. Trump. On a
(28:14):
typical day, he could wake upand immediately get a massage from a team
of Chinese Chinese messrs. Would hebrought in Chinese masseurish because they're the best.
They're walking all over his back.He would eat a lavish breakfast on
this terrace, followed shortly by oneof many bottles of Laurent Perrier. Okay,
(28:37):
so so far, at this pointin the day, I could be
a dictator. Yeah, I'm enjoyingit so far. It keep going.
He's drinking pink champagne. Lunch wouldbe fried muscles flown in from Belgium and
washed down with a bottle of nineteenthirties wine. Wow, I love that
in Belgium, Congo, they stillthink everything from Belgium is the best.
It's just the best. After lunch, he would either get a bar from
(29:00):
New York, a hairdresser from Paris, or various florists from many different places
would come in and lay down flowersand do stuff. How many times you're
gonna get your hair done once aweek? Okay, at least when you're
a dictator. You got to keepthat tight even though you're always wearing that
leopard You wearing that hat, allright, keep it under that hat.
He would then have secret meetings withthe Freemasons that he would call voodoo sessions.
(29:22):
Any questions, no, yeah,hey on behalf of the Freemasons.
Can we just call these meetings?Take off that hat. Okay, here
you go. What's it? Now? You have a gerbil wearing another hat,
and that gerbil hat is wearing aleopard skin hat in prison. That
gerbal No, don't take no.Steve Stuart little four got weird his palaces.
(29:45):
Yeah, palaces. Do you thinkfor a second that I thought this
man just had one palace? Ofcourse, I've heard enough dictator stuff.
I know how many palaces he has. He's got four. They were insane.
Yeah, his private palace hit aprivate palace. The other palace is
like anybody can come in. He'sjust come and go as he plays.
Okay, come into my palace,come in, walk around doing everyway.
(30:07):
Hey, don't take that's mine,all right, take it, it's fine.
His private palace was filled with paintings, sculptures, stained glass, uh
Louis, the fourteenth furniture marble fromItaly, and two swimming pools, surrounded
by speakers that he would play.Gregarian chance his favorite. That's the weirdest
thing. He that's the weirdest thingso far. He likes Gregarian chant.
(30:30):
It's Gregorian chance, Yes, GregorianGregarian Gregorian definition of the word place.
That's insane. Why would he listento that. That's the worst. You
don't have that on your Spotify.Turn it up. Turn it up,
(30:52):
dj oh, turn it up djas. He's in one of his two
pools. Turn it out. I'mgetting crunk. I'm gonna switch to my
other pool. I'm getting pruny.Oh no, god, this is this
man. For those of you whodon't know what these chants are, I'm
gonna if you're not already crazy,which clearly he is by everything he owns,
this is gonna make you crazy.What are you talking about? How
(31:15):
to hold on? By the way, I'm on YouTube looking up Gregorian Chance,
so the government has flagged you.I just want you to know none
of these are under an hour long. Of course. I'm just hey,
I'm just gonna go for a swimreal quick. Yeah, I just want
to get a dip. Welcome tothe party. Work on my backstroke real
(31:40):
quick. Let me skip ahead andsee if it's any different. Yeah,
I'm sure. The beat drops abouttwenty five minutes, and this is an
hour later, and we picked upmid sentence, and I'm going to jump
to another hour, so we're twohours in. How long is this one?
This is two hours and thirteen minutesend. Look you did you know
how many things I've was it onYouTube that immediately been flagged and taken down
(32:01):
YouTube. Get on this. Thisdoesn't need to be out there. You
can't take this down. Dude,doesn't need to be there. Don't censor.
Don't censor my music. Dude,get it out. Dad, you
don't understand. Don't call it music. This is my music, son,
what I don't know where you camefrom. I came from God. I
raised you on Aerosmith and the Doorsand a little Cisco. We all love
(32:29):
Cisco Cisco. I like, butthank you, but this is my favorite
music. Dad. You don't getit. You're old, I'm all do
you know when this was? Shutdad? Shut up, Dad. It's
my favorite part. It's my favoritepart, this part. Oh, I
can't wait for this party. Ohdinner's ready to hear that? Yeah?
(32:51):
Oh so good. You didn't evenknow it was coming here. It was
a bell. That was a bell, dad, I want to move away.
The only instrument in that was abell. Move away, go ahead.
So that's a Gregorian chant. Justimagine this guy in the middle.
Yeah, you know, I can'tfind a mistake so far. Keep no,
(33:13):
he's killing it so far, okay, so, but the nineties things
started to go pretty south. FromMBOO two. With a Cold War coming
to an end without the threat ofthe Red Menace, the US ended support
from MBOO two. It's about timeyou asked, Wow, it's about that
was like thirty plus years of support, just to make sure we'd rather have
(33:37):
a crazy dictator who murders all hispeople. Hey, not communist, so
that way communism can't spread. Yeah, oh my god, that's so stupid.
The Cold World Bill? Is thisBill? Clinton then at this point
ending it? I hope. Soyeah, somebody please. At that point,
a year was bankrupt and couldn't payits foreign debts. The people were
(33:57):
destitute, roads were impassable, andmajor cities were in collapse. Without the
support of Western countries, Mubootu wasa sitting duck. Wow. And also
it didn't help that Mubootu had buttholecancer. Oh no, oh no,
the technical term. Oh no,I'm writing these now. Yeah. Well,
(34:19):
I mean I've been writing them thewhole time. But then I'm like,
why am I not using my ownlanguage? Sometimes I'm reading it and
I'm like yeah, And this alsoreminds me of the time you said,
why am I not a doctor?Why am I not a doctor? Showed
me your butthole. I can't thinkof you got butthole tumor? I know,
I think you'd be a great doctor. It would be a great doctor.
At this point, his generals andmilitary were more trained in the art
(34:43):
of stealing than actual warfare because theydidn't fight anybody. Yeah, and they
would just steal from everybody else.So when rival armies would show up to
fight, they'd lose their wallets.Wait but wait, I had it,
I had Oh, man, theyare quick. You think they'd be great
if they like stole their guns,but they didn't. They just want to
go for money. Still have mygun, shoot them. So when rival
(35:06):
armies are okay, So, whenrival armies would show up to fight,
Mu Bootoo's guys would shoot wildly,and then when they realized things weren't We're
going pretty bad, they would justtake off their uniforms and run. Yeah.
No, I'm not with the army. No no, no, no,
no no no no, I'm justnaked dude in the woods. We're
(35:28):
all naked here. Yeah. Hey, welcome to zaire man. This is
this is what the country is like. You guys want to listen to some
Gregorian Chance? Did I sure youwant to take this over him? High?
Come on, dude, It's mostlyjust naked dudes and Gregorian Chance.
I'm just oh, whoa, you'rekilling him? I wrote that song.
I wrote it, copyright me.Yeah, Boo Boo is a real musician
(35:52):
here, Mike Boo Boo. Helikes to go. So, after thirty
two years of dictatorship, he waseventually overthrown by a guy who was backed
by Rwanda, Burundi and Uganda.So those three countiers are like, hey,
Zaire sick, You're you're were,You're easily able to be taken over.
Now without your we're gonna team upand take Zaire. They immediately changed
(36:15):
the name back to Congo, okay, and Mubutu fled to Morocco. But
his son he had, he hadsome kids. One of his son,
uh Congolo Congolo Mubutu. That washis son's name. Yeah, stayed Congolo
was a short, stocky and hada long beard. Okay. He scoured
(36:38):
the Congo looking for those who betrayedhis father. He ended up killing about
a hundred people before he had toflee and then died shortly after of AIDS.
That's a whole story in itself,right there. Whoa, this was
just killing people on his own.Yeah, so move. So he's upset,
(36:58):
yeah, that his dad got oustedbecause he thinks his dad is the
best, Like, because he wastold from a very young age his dad
was the best. He grew upwith the most things. He grew up
with a ton of money. Hedidn't really understand. He thought that poor
people didn't deserve it, and hethought his dad was the best. So
when his dad got ousted, hegot upset, and he with all the
money and and uh like networking thathe had, was able to go around
(37:23):
and kill over a hundred people.And the only thing that stopped him is
he by himself, no, orshe paid other people to help him.
But the only thing to stop himis that it was the early nineties and
AIDS was rampant. Yeah, andhe got AIDS. That was the only
thing to stop him was his dick. Wow, what a psycho. But
(37:50):
also I kind of get it,like he kind of get the AIDS.
I No, I don't. Ijust kind of get that he's like my
father was the best. How dareyou. I have to do this.
This is my life's mission. Though. If my dad got fired from his
job, Like, I don't knowhow many people i'd kill? What zero?
Yeah, I mean yeah, Imean say yeah. I'm just saying
it would probably be a small number. Mboo two died, he's retired.
(38:13):
Don't worry about it, okay.Mboo two died on the seventh of September
nineteen ninety seven from butthole cancer.Oh we're gonna say prostate cancer. Sure,
okay. And since you asked lasttime about people who replaced the dictator,
Yeah, where do you go?The guy that replaced him, Steve
(38:34):
Steve Quail. No, the guywho replaced him, Cabilla became the new
president of Congo. Okay. Cabillowas assassinated two thousand and one, but
he was succeeded by his son,Joseph Cabilla. To this day, the
Democratic Republic of Congo is in unrestwith many civil wars. Yeah, there's
(38:57):
actually two congos. No, JosephCabilla is still president and is coming to
the end of his second term.But the country is awaiting the finish of
their sentence of their sensus, sothey need to finish the sentence. Census
can't say they need to finish theirsensus so they could see if people are
rigging the election. You don't knowhow many You need to find out how
(39:19):
many people live where and who's votingso you can so you can tally the
votes correctly. Otherwise, if youdon't get that done first, then it's
like, I'm not saying that Cabilla. I don't know enough about the situation
to say that he is rigging theelection. The people of the Congo are
like, we can't do this unlesswe have the census done. Okay,
So that way we all know thatit's on the up and up. Ye,
(39:40):
okay and good. So they're stillgoing over to see if he'll be
in the third term or what exactlyis going on. There's a lot of
people. Okay, do a census. There's two congos now. It's it's
very difficult when you when you whena country gets that low with like money
and the problems that it has inlike corruption, it's it takes a long
(40:00):
time to get it out of that. I can't imagine. So he's like,
go do this census. Go outfind out how many congos there are
they came back after many years.Congos. We thought there were two.
They're sixteen. Also, it doesn'thelp that a lot of the Congo is
a forest that is like uninhabitable.There's a lot of naked people in there
who are like, I live Ilive here, Well, sometimes I live
(40:23):
over by that tree, but thisis the tree I'm live by. The
palace in which Mubooto used to liveis now in ruins, a shell of
what it once was. Sure thereis still a small group of Mubooto loyalists
whose parents or grandparents used to workthere at the palace. They charge visitors
(40:46):
twenty dollars for a tour and carryout routine maintenance to prevent the building from
becoming from being completely gone. Andthen I end it with I already explained
this. There are two today,there are two congos. There are Public
of Congo and the Democratic Republic ofCongo. Oh what, that's the story
of Mubuoto. Do you know adifference? But I mean, I don't
(41:08):
know anything about the difference between thetwo. No. Um, it's very
complicated. It's a very complicated situation. Yeah, I'm sure there's maybe there's
a listener who knows a lot.Please let us know. Oh my god,
please let us know. I'm surethere's also a song I believe I
heard about. Um It's it's likeI don't know, I don't know,
(41:30):
right, I don't know how manycongo there are, right, yeah,
yeah, yeah, Jimmy Buffett,Yeah, Jimy Buffett did do that,
that remix of the old the oldchant that I that I had heard.
Yeah. So that is the storyof Mubuotu, the crazy guy with thick
(41:50):
glasses, uh leopard hat cane.If you saw a picture of him,
you'd probably like, oh, Isaw him somewhere at right time. You
also probably remember I remember. Ithink it was like middle school or elementary
school. I think it was elementaryschool, the elementary school, learning about
like zaire. Yeah, I remember, oh yeah yeah, like when you
said Zayre, I'm like, oh, yeah, I know it's that here.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure when Itook um wow, now they think
(42:14):
about it, when I took atest on filling out Africa and filling out
all the countries was one of them. Now they made it difficult. Now
there's two or congos and you gotit. You could flip them around and
they have very similar names. Ohmy god, there's two Congos. There's
a wife and a mistress. Theylook the same. I'm getting them confused.
So how do you what do youthink about that? What do you
think about this guy? I thinkI think I gotta get a cane and
(42:37):
a hat and I can rule acountry. It's insane that people come to
power like this, that they votethem in and then as soon as they
change the rules, as soon asthey start saying things like Okay, you
had power, you don't have poweranymore. I have more power. I'm
gonna give myself more power. IMgonna give you the less power. That
should be the red flag, right, that should be the thing. And
(42:57):
America stop backing these people. No, no, we got to. We
got to. We got to.We got to. Sounds like another later
that we've probably given a ton ofmoney too. It's ridiculous. Yeah,
no, I know, stop it. We have to. We had to
do it because we were so afraidof communism. Yeah, I mean,
the more you learn about the ColdWar, like, how was that not
(43:20):
communism? Like that was worse thancommunism. Yeah, but it wasn't communism,
Mike, right, it wasn't technicallycommunism, and we think it's better.
It wasn't going to munism. Butplease, if it's just, if
I could on behalf, get onbehalf of communism is not a bed something,
you know what I'm saying, like, Hey, look, you can
wear whatever hats you want. Huh, huh, how about that? Huh?
(43:43):
Get out of here, Leopard,get out of hagar. No,
Cheetah, cheetah, whatever you want, you have cheetahs? Fuck you?
Hey did you kill it cheetah oris it fake cheeta? It's fake cheat
good? I love cheetah. Okay, take take this hat off. Look
at this end. Oh it's anotherhat? And see I got any many
hats? Are you a person insideof a person? I'm a hat salesman
inside of a hat. Yes,anything else you have on him? No,
(44:07):
thank you for teaching me about that. I had no idea about how
why I knew as I air.So that's interesting. Actually, that dude
was a psycho. I'm gonna showMike a picture. Okay, I'm ready,
and I want to see your chuckles. All right, here you go.
What are you looking him? Oh? This guy loves that hat.
(44:29):
He also is wearing a hipster shirt. Oh, it is the most hipstery
shirt. Oh he loves leopards somuch. Is that real leopard? He
didn't wear real leopard? Oh whata jerk. Oh you don't think this.
Do you think this guy who murderedpeople cares about animals? I like
to believe. God, why ishe wearing these blouses? They're like leopard,
(44:51):
They're like leopard print. Like justno, they're blouse. Now,
they're blouses. Oh man, you'relucky he died of butthole cancer. Otherwise
he'd kill us. Yeah, that'sfine. I just take that guy on
and his blouse and his he didhave hipster glasses though he was he was
hipster before hips. Hey, hipster'sjust a just a just a note real
quick. I'm fine with what youguys are trying to do, but like,
(45:13):
don't be like this guy. Comeon, stop dressing like ticktators.
Don't you don't want to be adictator. Come on, all right,
that's it. Mistakes were made.
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