December 18, 2024 • 29 mins
Oprah Winfrey, global media leader and philanthropist, spoke to the Class of 2008 at Stanford's 117th Commencement on June 15, 2008. Winfrey drew on experiences from a career that began in 1976 when she co-anchored a television newscast, and she shared three lessons about feelings, failure and finding happiness.
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
This program is brought to you by Stanford University. Please
visit us at Stanford dot edu. Well all the books, Thankford,
oh it well. Thank you, President Hennessy, and to the
(00:34):
trustees and the faculty, to all of the parents and grandparents,
to you the Stanford graduates. Thank you for letting me
share this amazing day with you. I need to begin
by letting everyone in on a little secret. The secret
(00:59):
is that at Kirby Bumpus Stanford class of oh Wait.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Is my god daughter.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
So I was thrilled when President Hennessy asked me to
be your convincement speaker because this is the first time
I've been allowed on campus since Kirby's been here. You see,
Kirby's a very smart girl. She wants people to get
to know her on her own terms, she says, not
in terms of who she knows. So she never wants
anyone who's first meeting her to know that I know
(01:42):
her and she knows me. So when she first came
to Stanford for new student orientation with her mom, I
hear that they arrived and everybody was so welcoming, and
somebody came up to Kirby and they said, oh my god,
that's Gale King, because a lot of people know Gail
King is my bff. And so somebody comes up to
(02:06):
Kirby and they say, oh my God, is that Gail King?
And Kirby's like, uh huh, she's my mom. And so
the person says, oh my God, does it mean like
you know Oprah Winfrey? And Kirby says, sort of.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I said, it's sort of.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
You sort of know me well.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I have photographic proof.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I have pictures which I can email to you, all
of Kirby riding Horsey with me on all fours. So
I more than sort of know Kirby bumpus. And I'm
so happy to be here, just happy that I finally,
after four years, get to see her room. There's really
(02:58):
nowhere else I'd rather be because I'm so proud of Kirby,
who graduates today with two degrees, one inhuman bio and
the other in psychology.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Love you, Kirby, Cakes. That's how well I know.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Or I can call her cakes, and so proud of
her mother and father who helped her get through this time,
and her brother Will. I really had nothing to do
with her graduating from Stanford, but every time anybody's asked
me in the past couple of weeks what I was doing.
I'd say, I'm getting ready to go to Stanford. I
(03:32):
just love saying Stanford, because the truth is, I know
I would have never gotten my degree at all because
I didn't go to Stanford. I went to Tennessee State University.
But I never would have gotten my diploma at all
because I was supposed to graduate back in nineteen seventy five,
(03:55):
but I was short one credit. I was short one
and I figured, I'm gonna just forget it because you know,
I'm not going to march with my class. Because by
that point, I was already on television. I'd been in
television since I was nineteen.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
And a sophomore.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Granted, I was the only television anchor person that had
an eleven o'clock curfew, doing the ten o'clock news. Seriously,
my dad was like, well, the news is over ten thirty,
be home by eleven. But that didn't matter to me
because I was earning a living. I was on my way,
so I thought, I'm gonna let this college thing go.
(04:34):
And I only had one credit. But my father from
that time on and for years after, was always on
my case because I did not graduate. He'd say, Oprah Gaale,
that's my middle name. I don't know what you're gonna
do with not that degree. And I'd say, but dad,
I have my own television show. And he'd say, well,
(04:56):
I still don't know what you're gonna do without that degree.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
And I'd say, but dad, now I'm a talk show host.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
He'd say, I don't know how you're gonna get another
job without that degree. So in nineteen eighty seven, Tennessee
State University invited me back to speak at their commencement.
By then, I had my own show, was nationally syndicated,
I'd made a movie, had been nominated for an oscar,
and founded my company, Harpo. But I told them I
(05:23):
cannot come and give a speech unless I can earn
one more credit, because my dad's still saying I'm not
going to get anywhere without that degree. So I finished
my coursework, I turned in my final paper, and I
got the degree.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And my dad was very proud.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
And I know that if anything happens, that one credit
will be my salvation. But I also know why my
dad was insisting on that diploma, because, as BB King
put it, the beautiful thing about learning is that nobody
can take that away from you. And learning is really,
(06:08):
in the broadest sense, what I really want to talk
about today, because your education, of course, isn't ending here
in many ways, it's only just begun. The world has
so many lessons to teach you. I consider the world,
this earth, to be like a school, and our life
the classrooms, and sometimes here in this planet earth school,
(06:32):
the lessons often come dressed up as detours or roadblocks,
and sometimes as full blown crises. And the secret I've
learned to getting ahead is being open to the lessons
lessons from the grandest universe of all that is the
universe itself. It's being able to walk through life eager
(06:53):
and open to self improvement and that which is going
to best help you evolve, because that's really why here
to evolve as human beings, so to grow into being
more of ourselves, always moving to the next level of understanding,
the next level of compassion and growth. I think one
(07:14):
of the greatest compliments I've ever received. I interviewed with
a reporter when I was first starting out in Chicago,
and then many years later I saw the same reporter
and she said to me, you know what you really
haven't changed. You've just become more of yourself. And that
is really what we're all trying to do, become more
(07:35):
of ourselves. And I believe that there is a lesson
in almost everything that you do, in every experience, and
getting the lesson is how you move forward. It's how
you enrich your spirit. And trust me, I know that
inner wisdom is more precious than wealth. The more you
spend it, the more you gain. So today I just
(07:56):
want to share a few lessons, meaning three that I've
learned in my journey so far. And aren't you glad?
Don't you hate it when somebody says I'm a share
a few and his ten lessons later and you're like, listen,
this is my graduation, this is not about you.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
So it's only going to be three.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
The three lessons that have had the greatest impact on
my life have to do with feelings, with failure, and
with finding happiness. A year after I left college, I
was given the opportunity to co anchor the six o'clock
news in Baltimore. As the whole goal in the media
(08:35):
at the time I was coming up was that you
try to move to larger markets, and Baltimore was a
much larger market than Nashville, so getting the six o'clock
news co anchor job at twenty two was such a
big deal. It felt like the biggest deal in the
world at the time, and I was so proud because
I was finally going to have my chance to be
like Barbara Walters, which is who had been trying to
(08:56):
emulate since the start of my TV career. I was
twenty two years old making twenty two thousand a year,
and it's where I met my best friend, Gail, who
was an intern at the same TV station, And once
we became friends, we'd say, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
God, I can't believe it. You're making twenty two thousand
and you're only twenty two. Imagine when you're forty and.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
You're making forty. When I turned forty, I was so
glad that didn't happen. So here I am twenty two
making twenty two thousand dollars a year, and yet it
didn't feel right. It didn't feel right. The first sign,
(09:38):
as President Hennessy was saying, was when they tried to
change my name. The news director said to me at
the time, nobody's going to remember Oprah, so we want
to change your name. We've come up with a name
we think that people will remember, and people will like.
It's a friendly name. Susie. Hi, Susie, very friendly.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
You can't be angry with Susie. Remember Susie. But my
name wasn't Susie. And you know, I'd.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Grown up not really loving my name, because when you're
looking for your little name on the lunchboxes and the
license plate tags, you're never gonna find Oprah. So I
grew up not loving the name. But once I was
asked to change it, I thought, well, it is my name,
and do I look like a Susie to you? So
I thought, no, it doesn't feel right. I'm not going
(10:32):
to change my name, and if people remember it or not,
that's okay.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
And then they said they didn't like the way I looked.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
This was in nineteen seventy six where your boss could
call you in and say I don't like the way
you look. Now that would be called lawsuit, but uh,
back then, they could just say I don't like the
way you look, which, in case some of you in
the back, if you're you can't tell, is nothing like
Barbara Walters. So they sent me to a salon where
(11:02):
they gave me a perm and after a few days
all my hair fell out and I had to shave
my head. And then they really didn't like the way
I look, because now I am black and bald and
sitting on TV. Not a pretty picture. But even worse
than being bald, I really hated hated being sent to
(11:24):
report on other people's tragedies as a part of my
daily duty, knowing that I was just expected to observe
when everything in my instinct told me that I should
be doing something. I should be lending a hand. So,
as President Hennessey said, I'd cover a fire and then
I'd go back and I'd try to give the victims blankets,
(11:46):
and I wouldn't be able to sleep at night because
of all the things I was covering during the day.
And meanwhile, I was trying to sit gracefully like Barbara
and make myself talk like Barbara. And I thought, well,
I could make a pretty goofy Barbara, and if I
could figure out how to be myself, I could be
(12:08):
a pretty good Oprah. I was trying to sound elegant
like Barbara, and sometimes I didn't read my copy because
something inside me said this should be spontaneous. You know,
it should be spontaneous. So I wanted to get the
news as I was giving it.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
To the people.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
So sometimes I wouldn't read my copy and it'd be
like six people in a.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Pile up and I'm forty.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Oh my goodness. Sometimes I wouldn't read the copy and
I'd be because I wanted to be spontaneous, and I'd
come across a list of words I didn't know and mispronounced.
And one day I was reading copy and I call Canada, Kannada,
and I did just that. I cracked myself up on
the air, and I.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Decided, I'm this barber.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Thing's not going too well. I should try being myself.
But at the same time, my dad was saying, Opra, Gail,
this is the opportunity of a lifetime. Keep that job.
And my boss was saying, this is the nightly news.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You're an anchor, not a social worker.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Just do your job. So I was juggling these messages
of expectation and obligation and feeling really miserable with myself.
I'd go home at night and fill up my journals
because I've kept a journal since I was fifteen, so
I now volumes of journals. So I'd go home at
night and fill up my journals about how miserable I
was and frustrated, and then I'd eat my anxiety. That's
(13:29):
where I learned that habit. And after eight months I
lost that job. They said I was too emotional, I
was too much, but since they didn't want to pay
off the contract, they put me on a talk show
in Baltimore. And the moment I sat down on that show,
the moment I did, I felt like I'd come home.
I realized that TV could be more than just a playground,
(13:57):
but a platform for service, for helping other people their lives.
And the moment I sat down doing that talk show,
it felt like breathing. It felt it felt right, And
that's where everything that followed for me began. And I
got that lesson when you're doing the work you're meant
to do, it feels right, and every day is a bonus,
(14:21):
regardless of what you're getting paid. It's true. And how
do you know when you're doing something right? How do
you know that it feels? So what I know now
is that feelings are really your GPS system for life.
When you're supposed to do something, are not supposed to
(14:43):
do something your emotional guidance system. Lets you know. The
Chick trick is to learn to check your ego at
the door and start checking your gut instead. Every right
decision I've made, every right decision I've ever made, has
come from my gut, and every wrong decision I've ever
(15:06):
made was a result of me not listening to the
greater voice of myself. If it doesn't feel right, don't
do it. That's the lesson, and that lesson alone will
save you, my friends, a lot of grief.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Even doubt means don't. This is what I've learned.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
There many times when you don't know what to do,
When you don't know what to do, get still, get
very still until you do know what to do. And
when you do, get still and let your internal motivation
be the driver, not only will your personal life improve,
(15:49):
but you will gain a competitive edge in the working
world as well, Because, as Daniel Pink writes in his
bestseller A Whole New Mind, he says, we're entering a
whole new age. He calls it the conceptual age, where
traits that set people apart today are going to come
from our heart's right brain as well as our heads.
(16:10):
It's no longer just the logical, linear, rules based thinking
that matters. He says, it's also empathy and joyfulness and purpose,
inner traits that have transcendent worth.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
These qualities bloom.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
When we're doing what we love, so when we're involving
the wholeness of ourselves in our work, both our expertise
and our emotion. So I say to you, forget about
the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just
harness your power to your passion, honor your calling. Everybody
has one. Trust your heart, and success will come to you.
(16:47):
So how do I define success? Let me tell you
money's pretty nice. I'm not going to send up here
and tell you there's not about money, because money is
very nice. I like mine.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
It's good for buying things.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
But having a lot of money does not automatically make
you a successful person.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
What you want is money and meaning.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
You want your work to be meaningful because meaning is
what brings the real richness to your life. What you
really want is to be surrounded by people you trust
and treasure, and by people who cherish you. That's when
you're really rich. So lessen one, follow your feelings. If
(17:39):
it feels right, move forward if it doesn't. Feel right,
don't do it now. I want to talk a little
bit about failings, because nobody's journey is seamless or smooth.
We all stumble, we all have setbacks. If things go wrong,
you hit a dead end, as you will. It's just
life's way of saying time to change course. So ask
(18:02):
every failure. This is what I do, every failure, every crisis,
every difficult time. I say, what is this here to
teach me? And as soon as you get the lesson,
you get to move on. If you really get the lesson,
you pass and you don't have to repeat the class.
If you don't get the lesson, it shows up wearing
another pair of pants or skirt to give you some
(18:27):
remedial work. And what I found is that difficulties come
when you don't pay attention to life's whisper because life
always whispers to you first, and if you ignore the whispers,
sooner or later you'll get a scream. Whatever you resist persists.
But if you ask the right question, not why is
this happening? But what is this here to teach me?
(18:49):
What is this here to teach me? It puts you
in the place and space to get the lesson you need.
My friend at Cartole, who's written this wonderful book called
New Earth. It's all about letting the awareness of who
you are stimulate everything that you do. He puts it
like this, He says, don't react against a bad situation,
(19:10):
merge with that situation instead, and the solution will arise
from the challenge. Because surrendering yourself doesn't mean giving up,
It means acting with responsibility. Okay, many of you know that,
as President Hennessy said, I started this school in Africa,
(19:30):
and I founded the school where I'm trying to give
South African girls a shot at a future like yours.
Stand Ford and I spent five years making sure that
school would be as beautiful as the students. I wanted
every girl to feel her worth reflected in her surroundings.
(19:51):
So I checked every blueprint. I picked every pillow, I
was looking at the groud in between the bricks. I
knew every three, counted the sheets. I chose every girl
from the villages from nine provinces. And yet last fall
I was faced with a crisis I'd never anticipated. I
was told that one of the dorm matrons was suspected
(20:12):
of sexual abuse. Well that was as you can imagine
devastating news. First I cried, Actually, I sobbed for about
a half an hour, and then I said, let's get
to it. That's all you get is a half an hour.
You need to focus on the now. What you need
to do now. So I contacted a child trauma specialist,
(20:33):
I put together a team of investigators. I made sure
the girls had counseling and support, and Gale and I
got on a plane and flew to South Africa. And
the whole time I kept asking that question, what is
this here to teach me? And as difficult as that
experience has been, I got a lot of lessons. I
(20:54):
understand now the mistakes I made because I had been
paying attention to all of the wrong things. I built
that school from the outside in, when what really mattered
was the inside out. So it's a lesson that applies
to all of our lives as a whole. What matters
most is what's inside. What matters most is the sense
(21:17):
of integrity, of quality and beauty. I got that lesson,
and what I know is is that the girls came
away with something too. They've emerged from this more resilient
and knowing that their voices have power. And their resilience
in spirit have given me more than I could ever
give to them. Which leads me to my final lesson,
(21:40):
the one about finding happiness, which we could talk about
all day, but I know you have other wacky things
to do.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Not a small topic.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
This is finding happiness, But in some ways I think
it's the simplest of all. Gwendolyn Brooks wrote a poem
for her children. It's called Speech to the Young, Speech
to the progress Tora, and she says at the end,
live not for battles one live not for the end
of the song, live in the along. She's saying, like Eckartole,
(22:15):
that you have to live for the present. You have
to be in the moment. Whatever has happened to you
in your past has no power over this present moment,
because life is now. But I think she's also saying,
be a part of something, don't live for yourself alone.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
This is what I know for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
In order to be truly happy, you must live along
with and you have to stand for something larger than yourself.
Because life is a reciprocal exchange. To move forward, you
have to give back, And to me, that is the
greatest lesson of life, to be happy. You have to
(22:59):
give something back. I know you know that, because that's
a lesson that's woven into the very fabric of this university.
It's a lesson that Jane and Leland Stanford got, and
one they bequeathed to you because all of you know
(23:22):
the story of how this great school came to be,
how the Stanfords lost their only child to typhoid at
the age of fifteen. They had every right, and they
had every reason to turn their backs against the world
at that time, but instead they channeled their grief and
their pain into an act of grace. Within a year
(23:43):
of their son's death, they'd made the founding grant for
this great school, pledging to do for other people's children
what they were not able to do for their own. Boy.
The lesson here is clear, and that is, if you're hurting,
you need to help somebody else ease their hurt. If
you're in pain, helps somebody else's pain. And when you're
in a mess, you get yourself out of the mess
(24:04):
helping somebody out of theirs. And in the process you
get to become a member of what I call the
greatest fellowship of all, the Sorority of compassion, and the
fraternity of service.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
The Stanfords had suffered the worst thing.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Any mom and dad can ever endure, yet they understood
that helping others is the way we help ourselves, and
this wisdom is increasingly supported by scientific and sociological research.
It's no longer just woo woo, soft skills talk. There's
actually a helper's high, a spiritual surge you gain from
(24:38):
serving others. So if you want to feel good, you
have to go out and do some good. But when
you do good, I hope you strive for more than
just the good feeling that service provides, because I know
this for sure, that doing good actually makes you better.
So whatever field you choose, if you operate from the
paradigm of service, I know your life will have more
(25:01):
value and you will be happy. I was always happy
doing my talk show, but that happiness reached a depth
of fulfillment, of joy that I really can't describe to you.
A measure. When I stopped just being on TV and
looking at TV as a job and decided to use
(25:24):
television to use it and not have it use me,
to use it as a platform to serve my viewers.
That alone change the trajectory of my success. So I
know this that whether you're an actor, you offer your
talent in the way that most inspires art. If you're
an anatomus, you look at your gift as knowledge and
(25:49):
service to healing. Whether you've been called as so many
of you here today getting doctorates and other degrees to
the profession of business, law, engineering, humanities, science, medicine. If
you choose to offer your skills in talent in service,
(26:11):
when you choose the paradigm of service, looking at your
life through that paradigm, it turns everything you do from
a job into a gift. And I know you haven't
spent all this time at Stanford just to go out
and get a job, so you've been enriched in countless ways.
(26:31):
There's no better way to mark make your mark on
the world, and to share that abundance with others.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
My constant prayer for myself is to be used.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
In service for the greater good. So let me in
with one of my favorite quotes from Martin Luther King.
Doctor King said, not everybody can be famous, And I
don't know if everybody everybody today seems to want to
be famous, but famous a trip people follow you to
the bath room. Listen to your pee, Just try to
(27:07):
pee quietly. It doesn't matter. They come out and say,
oh my god, it's you, you peede. That's the fame trips.
I don't know if you want that. So doctor King said,
not everybody can be famous, but everybody can be great,
(27:28):
because greatness is determined by service. Yet, those of you
who are history scholars may know the rest of that passage.
He said, you don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and
verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about
Plato or Aristotle to serve. You don't have to know
Einstein's theory of relativity to serve. You don't have to
(27:50):
know the second theory of thermodynamics and physics. To serve,
you only need a heart full of grace and a
soul generated by love. In a few moments, you'll all
be officially Stanford grads. Oh wait, you have the heart
and the smarts to go with it, and it's up
(28:10):
to you to decide, Really, where will you now use
those gifts. You've got the diploma, so go out and
get the lessons, because I know great things are sure
to come you know. I've always believed that everything is
better than when you share it, so before I go,
I wanted to share a graduation gift with you. Underneath
(28:31):
your seats, you'll find two of my favorite books at
Cartoli's and New Earth, which is my current book club selection.
Our New Earth webcast has been downloaded thirty million times.
With that book and Daniel peaks a whole new mind
why right brainers will rule the future has reassured me
I'm moving in the right direction. I really wanted to
(28:52):
give you cards, but I just couldn't pull that off. Congratulations,
Oh work, w
This program is brought to you by Stanford University. Please
visit us at Stanford dot edu. Well all the books, Thankford,
oh it well. Thank you, President Hennessy, and to the
(00:34):
trustees and the faculty, to all of the parents and grandparents,
to you the Stanford graduates. Thank you for letting me
share this amazing day with you. I need to begin
by letting everyone in on a little secret. The secret
(00:59):
is that at Kirby Bumpus Stanford class of oh Wait.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Is my god daughter.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
So I was thrilled when President Hennessy asked me to
be your convincement speaker because this is the first time
I've been allowed on campus since Kirby's been here. You see,
Kirby's a very smart girl. She wants people to get
to know her on her own terms, she says, not
in terms of who she knows. So she never wants
anyone who's first meeting her to know that I know
(01:42):
her and she knows me. So when she first came
to Stanford for new student orientation with her mom, I
hear that they arrived and everybody was so welcoming, and
somebody came up to Kirby and they said, oh my god,
that's Gale King, because a lot of people know Gail
King is my bff. And so somebody comes up to
(02:06):
Kirby and they say, oh my God, is that Gail King?
And Kirby's like, uh huh, she's my mom. And so
the person says, oh my God, does it mean like
you know Oprah Winfrey? And Kirby says, sort of.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I said, it's sort of.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
You sort of know me well.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I have photographic proof.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
I have pictures which I can email to you, all
of Kirby riding Horsey with me on all fours. So
I more than sort of know Kirby bumpus. And I'm
so happy to be here, just happy that I finally,
after four years, get to see her room. There's really
(02:58):
nowhere else I'd rather be because I'm so proud of Kirby,
who graduates today with two degrees, one inhuman bio and
the other in psychology.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Love you, Kirby, Cakes. That's how well I know.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Or I can call her cakes, and so proud of
her mother and father who helped her get through this time,
and her brother Will. I really had nothing to do
with her graduating from Stanford, but every time anybody's asked
me in the past couple of weeks what I was doing.
I'd say, I'm getting ready to go to Stanford. I
(03:32):
just love saying Stanford, because the truth is, I know
I would have never gotten my degree at all because
I didn't go to Stanford. I went to Tennessee State University.
But I never would have gotten my diploma at all
because I was supposed to graduate back in nineteen seventy five,
(03:55):
but I was short one credit. I was short one
and I figured, I'm gonna just forget it because you know,
I'm not going to march with my class. Because by
that point, I was already on television. I'd been in
television since I was nineteen.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
And a sophomore.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Granted, I was the only television anchor person that had
an eleven o'clock curfew, doing the ten o'clock news. Seriously,
my dad was like, well, the news is over ten thirty,
be home by eleven. But that didn't matter to me
because I was earning a living. I was on my way,
so I thought, I'm gonna let this college thing go.
(04:34):
And I only had one credit. But my father from
that time on and for years after, was always on
my case because I did not graduate. He'd say, Oprah Gaale,
that's my middle name. I don't know what you're gonna
do with not that degree. And I'd say, but dad,
I have my own television show. And he'd say, well,
(04:56):
I still don't know what you're gonna do without that degree.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
And I'd say, but dad, now I'm a talk show host.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
He'd say, I don't know how you're gonna get another
job without that degree. So in nineteen eighty seven, Tennessee
State University invited me back to speak at their commencement.
By then, I had my own show, was nationally syndicated,
I'd made a movie, had been nominated for an oscar,
and founded my company, Harpo. But I told them I
(05:23):
cannot come and give a speech unless I can earn
one more credit, because my dad's still saying I'm not
going to get anywhere without that degree. So I finished
my coursework, I turned in my final paper, and I
got the degree.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And my dad was very proud.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
And I know that if anything happens, that one credit
will be my salvation. But I also know why my
dad was insisting on that diploma, because, as BB King
put it, the beautiful thing about learning is that nobody
can take that away from you. And learning is really,
(06:08):
in the broadest sense, what I really want to talk
about today, because your education, of course, isn't ending here
in many ways, it's only just begun. The world has
so many lessons to teach you. I consider the world,
this earth, to be like a school, and our life
the classrooms, and sometimes here in this planet earth school,
(06:32):
the lessons often come dressed up as detours or roadblocks,
and sometimes as full blown crises. And the secret I've
learned to getting ahead is being open to the lessons
lessons from the grandest universe of all that is the
universe itself. It's being able to walk through life eager
(06:53):
and open to self improvement and that which is going
to best help you evolve, because that's really why here
to evolve as human beings, so to grow into being
more of ourselves, always moving to the next level of understanding,
the next level of compassion and growth. I think one
(07:14):
of the greatest compliments I've ever received. I interviewed with
a reporter when I was first starting out in Chicago,
and then many years later I saw the same reporter
and she said to me, you know what you really
haven't changed. You've just become more of yourself. And that
is really what we're all trying to do, become more
(07:35):
of ourselves. And I believe that there is a lesson
in almost everything that you do, in every experience, and
getting the lesson is how you move forward. It's how
you enrich your spirit. And trust me, I know that
inner wisdom is more precious than wealth. The more you
spend it, the more you gain. So today I just
(07:56):
want to share a few lessons, meaning three that I've
learned in my journey so far. And aren't you glad?
Don't you hate it when somebody says I'm a share
a few and his ten lessons later and you're like, listen,
this is my graduation, this is not about you.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
So it's only going to be three.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
The three lessons that have had the greatest impact on
my life have to do with feelings, with failure, and
with finding happiness. A year after I left college, I
was given the opportunity to co anchor the six o'clock
news in Baltimore. As the whole goal in the media
(08:35):
at the time I was coming up was that you
try to move to larger markets, and Baltimore was a
much larger market than Nashville, so getting the six o'clock
news co anchor job at twenty two was such a
big deal. It felt like the biggest deal in the
world at the time, and I was so proud because
I was finally going to have my chance to be
like Barbara Walters, which is who had been trying to
(08:56):
emulate since the start of my TV career. I was
twenty two years old making twenty two thousand a year,
and it's where I met my best friend, Gail, who
was an intern at the same TV station, And once
we became friends, we'd say, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
God, I can't believe it. You're making twenty two thousand
and you're only twenty two. Imagine when you're forty and.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
You're making forty. When I turned forty, I was so
glad that didn't happen. So here I am twenty two
making twenty two thousand dollars a year, and yet it
didn't feel right. It didn't feel right. The first sign,
(09:38):
as President Hennessy was saying, was when they tried to
change my name. The news director said to me at
the time, nobody's going to remember Oprah, so we want
to change your name. We've come up with a name
we think that people will remember, and people will like.
It's a friendly name. Susie. Hi, Susie, very friendly.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
You can't be angry with Susie. Remember Susie. But my
name wasn't Susie. And you know, I'd.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Grown up not really loving my name, because when you're
looking for your little name on the lunchboxes and the
license plate tags, you're never gonna find Oprah. So I
grew up not loving the name. But once I was
asked to change it, I thought, well, it is my name,
and do I look like a Susie to you? So
I thought, no, it doesn't feel right. I'm not going
(10:32):
to change my name, and if people remember it or not,
that's okay.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
And then they said they didn't like the way I looked.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
This was in nineteen seventy six where your boss could
call you in and say I don't like the way
you look. Now that would be called lawsuit, but uh,
back then, they could just say I don't like the
way you look, which, in case some of you in
the back, if you're you can't tell, is nothing like
Barbara Walters. So they sent me to a salon where
(11:02):
they gave me a perm and after a few days
all my hair fell out and I had to shave
my head. And then they really didn't like the way
I look, because now I am black and bald and
sitting on TV. Not a pretty picture. But even worse
than being bald, I really hated hated being sent to
(11:24):
report on other people's tragedies as a part of my
daily duty, knowing that I was just expected to observe
when everything in my instinct told me that I should
be doing something. I should be lending a hand. So,
as President Hennessey said, I'd cover a fire and then
I'd go back and I'd try to give the victims blankets,
(11:46):
and I wouldn't be able to sleep at night because
of all the things I was covering during the day.
And meanwhile, I was trying to sit gracefully like Barbara
and make myself talk like Barbara. And I thought, well,
I could make a pretty goofy Barbara, and if I
could figure out how to be myself, I could be
(12:08):
a pretty good Oprah. I was trying to sound elegant
like Barbara, and sometimes I didn't read my copy because
something inside me said this should be spontaneous. You know,
it should be spontaneous. So I wanted to get the
news as I was giving it.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
To the people.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
So sometimes I wouldn't read my copy and it'd be
like six people in a.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Pile up and I'm forty.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Oh my goodness. Sometimes I wouldn't read the copy and
I'd be because I wanted to be spontaneous, and I'd
come across a list of words I didn't know and mispronounced.
And one day I was reading copy and I call Canada, Kannada,
and I did just that. I cracked myself up on
the air, and I.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Decided, I'm this barber.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Thing's not going too well. I should try being myself.
But at the same time, my dad was saying, Opra, Gail,
this is the opportunity of a lifetime. Keep that job.
And my boss was saying, this is the nightly news.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You're an anchor, not a social worker.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Just do your job. So I was juggling these messages
of expectation and obligation and feeling really miserable with myself.
I'd go home at night and fill up my journals
because I've kept a journal since I was fifteen, so
I now volumes of journals. So I'd go home at
night and fill up my journals about how miserable I
was and frustrated, and then I'd eat my anxiety. That's
(13:29):
where I learned that habit. And after eight months I
lost that job. They said I was too emotional, I
was too much, but since they didn't want to pay
off the contract, they put me on a talk show
in Baltimore. And the moment I sat down on that show,
the moment I did, I felt like I'd come home.
I realized that TV could be more than just a playground,
(13:57):
but a platform for service, for helping other people their lives.
And the moment I sat down doing that talk show,
it felt like breathing. It felt it felt right, And
that's where everything that followed for me began. And I
got that lesson when you're doing the work you're meant
to do, it feels right, and every day is a bonus,
(14:21):
regardless of what you're getting paid. It's true. And how
do you know when you're doing something right? How do
you know that it feels? So what I know now
is that feelings are really your GPS system for life.
When you're supposed to do something, are not supposed to
(14:43):
do something your emotional guidance system. Lets you know. The
Chick trick is to learn to check your ego at
the door and start checking your gut instead. Every right
decision I've made, every right decision I've ever made, has
come from my gut, and every wrong decision I've ever
(15:06):
made was a result of me not listening to the
greater voice of myself. If it doesn't feel right, don't
do it. That's the lesson, and that lesson alone will
save you, my friends, a lot of grief.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Even doubt means don't. This is what I've learned.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
There many times when you don't know what to do,
When you don't know what to do, get still, get
very still until you do know what to do. And
when you do, get still and let your internal motivation
be the driver, not only will your personal life improve,
(15:49):
but you will gain a competitive edge in the working
world as well, Because, as Daniel Pink writes in his
bestseller A Whole New Mind, he says, we're entering a
whole new age. He calls it the conceptual age, where
traits that set people apart today are going to come
from our heart's right brain as well as our heads.
(16:10):
It's no longer just the logical, linear, rules based thinking
that matters. He says, it's also empathy and joyfulness and purpose,
inner traits that have transcendent worth.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
These qualities bloom.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
When we're doing what we love, so when we're involving
the wholeness of ourselves in our work, both our expertise
and our emotion. So I say to you, forget about
the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just
harness your power to your passion, honor your calling. Everybody
has one. Trust your heart, and success will come to you.
(16:47):
So how do I define success? Let me tell you
money's pretty nice. I'm not going to send up here
and tell you there's not about money, because money is
very nice. I like mine.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
It's good for buying things.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
But having a lot of money does not automatically make
you a successful person.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
What you want is money and meaning.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
You want your work to be meaningful because meaning is
what brings the real richness to your life. What you
really want is to be surrounded by people you trust
and treasure, and by people who cherish you. That's when
you're really rich. So lessen one, follow your feelings. If
(17:39):
it feels right, move forward if it doesn't. Feel right,
don't do it now. I want to talk a little
bit about failings, because nobody's journey is seamless or smooth.
We all stumble, we all have setbacks. If things go wrong,
you hit a dead end, as you will. It's just
life's way of saying time to change course. So ask
(18:02):
every failure. This is what I do, every failure, every crisis,
every difficult time. I say, what is this here to
teach me? And as soon as you get the lesson,
you get to move on. If you really get the lesson,
you pass and you don't have to repeat the class.
If you don't get the lesson, it shows up wearing
another pair of pants or skirt to give you some
(18:27):
remedial work. And what I found is that difficulties come
when you don't pay attention to life's whisper because life
always whispers to you first, and if you ignore the whispers,
sooner or later you'll get a scream. Whatever you resist persists.
But if you ask the right question, not why is
this happening? But what is this here to teach me?
(18:49):
What is this here to teach me? It puts you
in the place and space to get the lesson you need.
My friend at Cartole, who's written this wonderful book called
New Earth. It's all about letting the awareness of who
you are stimulate everything that you do. He puts it
like this, He says, don't react against a bad situation,
(19:10):
merge with that situation instead, and the solution will arise
from the challenge. Because surrendering yourself doesn't mean giving up,
It means acting with responsibility. Okay, many of you know that,
as President Hennessy said, I started this school in Africa,
(19:30):
and I founded the school where I'm trying to give
South African girls a shot at a future like yours.
Stand Ford and I spent five years making sure that
school would be as beautiful as the students. I wanted
every girl to feel her worth reflected in her surroundings.
(19:51):
So I checked every blueprint. I picked every pillow, I
was looking at the groud in between the bricks. I
knew every three, counted the sheets. I chose every girl
from the villages from nine provinces. And yet last fall
I was faced with a crisis I'd never anticipated. I
was told that one of the dorm matrons was suspected
(20:12):
of sexual abuse. Well that was as you can imagine
devastating news. First I cried, Actually, I sobbed for about
a half an hour, and then I said, let's get
to it. That's all you get is a half an hour.
You need to focus on the now. What you need
to do now. So I contacted a child trauma specialist,
(20:33):
I put together a team of investigators. I made sure
the girls had counseling and support, and Gale and I
got on a plane and flew to South Africa. And
the whole time I kept asking that question, what is
this here to teach me? And as difficult as that
experience has been, I got a lot of lessons. I
(20:54):
understand now the mistakes I made because I had been
paying attention to all of the wrong things. I built
that school from the outside in, when what really mattered
was the inside out. So it's a lesson that applies
to all of our lives as a whole. What matters
most is what's inside. What matters most is the sense
(21:17):
of integrity, of quality and beauty. I got that lesson,
and what I know is is that the girls came
away with something too. They've emerged from this more resilient
and knowing that their voices have power. And their resilience
in spirit have given me more than I could ever
give to them. Which leads me to my final lesson,
(21:40):
the one about finding happiness, which we could talk about
all day, but I know you have other wacky things
to do.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Not a small topic.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
This is finding happiness, But in some ways I think
it's the simplest of all. Gwendolyn Brooks wrote a poem
for her children. It's called Speech to the Young, Speech
to the progress Tora, and she says at the end,
live not for battles one live not for the end
of the song, live in the along. She's saying, like Eckartole,
(22:15):
that you have to live for the present. You have
to be in the moment. Whatever has happened to you
in your past has no power over this present moment,
because life is now. But I think she's also saying,
be a part of something, don't live for yourself alone.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
This is what I know for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
In order to be truly happy, you must live along
with and you have to stand for something larger than yourself.
Because life is a reciprocal exchange. To move forward, you
have to give back, And to me, that is the
greatest lesson of life, to be happy. You have to
(22:59):
give something back. I know you know that, because that's
a lesson that's woven into the very fabric of this university.
It's a lesson that Jane and Leland Stanford got, and
one they bequeathed to you because all of you know
(23:22):
the story of how this great school came to be,
how the Stanfords lost their only child to typhoid at
the age of fifteen. They had every right, and they
had every reason to turn their backs against the world
at that time, but instead they channeled their grief and
their pain into an act of grace. Within a year
(23:43):
of their son's death, they'd made the founding grant for
this great school, pledging to do for other people's children
what they were not able to do for their own. Boy.
The lesson here is clear, and that is, if you're hurting,
you need to help somebody else ease their hurt. If
you're in pain, helps somebody else's pain. And when you're
in a mess, you get yourself out of the mess
(24:04):
helping somebody out of theirs. And in the process you
get to become a member of what I call the
greatest fellowship of all, the Sorority of compassion, and the
fraternity of service.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
The Stanfords had suffered the worst thing.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Any mom and dad can ever endure, yet they understood
that helping others is the way we help ourselves, and
this wisdom is increasingly supported by scientific and sociological research.
It's no longer just woo woo, soft skills talk. There's
actually a helper's high, a spiritual surge you gain from
(24:38):
serving others. So if you want to feel good, you
have to go out and do some good. But when
you do good, I hope you strive for more than
just the good feeling that service provides, because I know
this for sure, that doing good actually makes you better.
So whatever field you choose, if you operate from the
paradigm of service, I know your life will have more
(25:01):
value and you will be happy. I was always happy
doing my talk show, but that happiness reached a depth
of fulfillment, of joy that I really can't describe to you.
A measure. When I stopped just being on TV and
looking at TV as a job and decided to use
(25:24):
television to use it and not have it use me,
to use it as a platform to serve my viewers.
That alone change the trajectory of my success. So I
know this that whether you're an actor, you offer your
talent in the way that most inspires art. If you're
an anatomus, you look at your gift as knowledge and
(25:49):
service to healing. Whether you've been called as so many
of you here today getting doctorates and other degrees to
the profession of business, law, engineering, humanities, science, medicine. If
you choose to offer your skills in talent in service,
(26:11):
when you choose the paradigm of service, looking at your
life through that paradigm, it turns everything you do from
a job into a gift. And I know you haven't
spent all this time at Stanford just to go out
and get a job, so you've been enriched in countless ways.
(26:31):
There's no better way to mark make your mark on
the world, and to share that abundance with others.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
My constant prayer for myself is to be used.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
In service for the greater good. So let me in
with one of my favorite quotes from Martin Luther King.
Doctor King said, not everybody can be famous, And I
don't know if everybody everybody today seems to want to
be famous, but famous a trip people follow you to
the bath room. Listen to your pee, Just try to
(27:07):
pee quietly. It doesn't matter. They come out and say,
oh my god, it's you, you peede. That's the fame trips.
I don't know if you want that. So doctor King said,
not everybody can be famous, but everybody can be great,
(27:28):
because greatness is determined by service. Yet, those of you
who are history scholars may know the rest of that passage.
He said, you don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and
verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about
Plato or Aristotle to serve. You don't have to know
Einstein's theory of relativity to serve. You don't have to
(27:50):
know the second theory of thermodynamics and physics. To serve,
you only need a heart full of grace and a
soul generated by love. In a few moments, you'll all
be officially Stanford grads. Oh wait, you have the heart
and the smarts to go with it, and it's up
(28:10):
to you to decide, Really, where will you now use
those gifts. You've got the diploma, so go out and
get the lessons, because I know great things are sure
to come you know. I've always believed that everything is
better than when you share it, so before I go,
I wanted to share a graduation gift with you. Underneath
(28:31):
your seats, you'll find two of my favorite books at
Cartoli's and New Earth, which is my current book club selection.
Our New Earth webcast has been downloaded thirty million times.
With that book and Daniel peaks a whole new mind
why right brainers will rule the future has reassured me
I'm moving in the right direction. I really wanted to
(28:52):
give you cards, but I just couldn't pull that off. Congratulations,
Oh work, w
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