December 28, 2024 • 30 mins
In this episode of Motivation Zone, I talk about my struggle with seasonal depression and the challenges I faced during the holidays. While many people seem to enjoy this time of year, I met quite a few who didn’t seem to be having a good time. It makes me wonder: do we celebrate American traditional holidays just because everyone else does, or do we truly enjoy them? Join me as I explore these thoughts and share my feelings about the holidays. Let's Talk About It!
For references, to subscribe or leave a comment, visit my Motivation Zone page here: https://monicaenterprises.com/motivation-zone-3/
For references, to subscribe or leave a comment, visit my Motivation Zone page here: https://monicaenterprises.com/motivation-zone-3/
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, everyone, Welcome back to another episode of Motivation Zone.
It is your host here, Monica. My super excited to
be with you guys. We are gonna dive into a
topic of one my holiday woes, and then we're gonna
dive into me motivating you and encouraging you to plan
your next twelve months. Wisely, there is so much that
(00:21):
goes into a new year. A lot of people are
doing New Year's resolutions. Me personally, I'm not a New
Year's resolution gravitator, but I am always seeking to change
when I know that I need to do things differently.
But I understand some people prepare for their changes because
(00:42):
we can get into habits and do things for so
long that we have to brace ourselves for the changes
we're getting ready to make. So I totally get that.
So we'll talk a little bit about that here as well.
And I wanna start off by saying that we are
all not the same. We don't all have the same experience, insists.
But it's always my hope that me encouraging some of
(01:03):
my own experiences in thought processes that it can help
some of you out there, because oftentimes we can feel
like we're quite alone in how we think and feel,
and so to hear someone express something that you may
be able to relate to is oftentimes helpful. Right, So
let me dive into my holiday woes really quick. I've
(01:27):
been thinking about where to start with this. I would
go back even as far as twenty eighteen. And one
thing I've come across as of recent is people who
want to say that the past means nothing. Stop going
back to the past, stop looking backwards. But a lot
(01:48):
of our experiences are shaping how we move forward. If
we're not understanding why we've done some of the things
that we've done in our lives and in the past,
then we tend to move forward in a way that
is not really knowledgeable, and so we're not able to
(02:09):
counter certain things and understand certain movements ahead of time,
even you know, to be prepared. Some people are willing
to just react to everything that they go through instead
of preparing themselves for certain things, because they have not
gained any understanding of what they've experienced. So I'm always
(02:29):
kind of going back just to see why I had
certain reactions and feelings of things. And I want to
say it may have even been as late as twenty sixteen,
but twenty eighteen is when I know for sure I
started to experience seasonal depression. I didn't even know what
(02:49):
that was, to be honest with you guys, And I
want to say I had been experiencing it for years
leading up to twenty eighteen. I just can't pinpoint it.
I just remember twenty eighteen being at light bulb moment, like,
oh my goodness, this is what's going on. So, of course,
(03:10):
in the different states across the US, everyone is not
experiencing the same seasonal changes either. Like there is the fall.
We have a fall here in the South, we have
the winter time. So we're seeing these We pretty much
see the four seasons, right. Some people they stay tropical
all year long. Some people are a little bit colder
(03:32):
longer throughout the year. So for us, in the summertime
here in the South you're talking about, we get the
summer heat, the beautiful bloom of the trees and the
flowers and the leaves and all of these things, and
then the fall comes and we lose all of that.
It is beautiful, of course, And I know a lot
of people who I've had this conversation with they love
(03:56):
when the leaves start changing. You know, and the beauty
of the fall colors, which is gorgeous, by the way,
it's a beautiful sight to see. But then you look
back outside and all the leaves are gone on the
trees and it just looks naked. And you look at
all the grass across different lawns and you know, different places,
(04:18):
and everything is just dry, cracky brown, you know what
I mean. So that color, that vibrance is gone. Then
it's really I mean, we don't get too cold. We're
not like Chicago or Illinois's cold, you know, and some
of these other states will get a lot of snow.
We're not that cold, but it becomes cold enough where
(04:42):
outside activities are not as enjoyable, if that made sense right.
I did not realize how much just that change alone
was impacting me. But then as I'm watching this happen,
you know, kind of checking my emotions throughout the different years,
(05:04):
the different seasons, I started to understand that something else
was really affecting me. But what was happening was I
kept going and going and going because you're trying to
make other people happy. You want other people to feel good,
and I feel like that is always something we should
keep in balance. I am willing to step outside myself
(05:28):
and do something that's gonna be fun for somebody else,
even though it may not be my thing to do.
Does that make sense? But if we can come together
enjoy it and it could be good, wholesome fun, why not. Right? So,
as I'm going through this seasonal depression, which not knowing
what it was, I'm to tell you guys, how I
(05:49):
kind of start to figure it out, which I have
to thank God for it, but it was interesting. So
I'm going through that and I'm realizing how much the
holidays are affecting me because what I'm doing, and there's
layers to this. I'm not going to get into all
the layers, so I'll just kind of talk around some
(06:09):
things because there are some things I'm not quite ready
to share. But there are layers to this. But during
the holidays, I started to feel a ways about it.
And one of the biggest reasons why was because I
started to feel that people were moving in a way
(06:31):
that wasn't sincere When we're going about these holidays in
the United States, it becomes more of just the traditional
thing to do, which then eliminates true feelings and emotions.
When you're just assigned this. And I hate to make
(06:52):
it sound like it, but that's how I felt. We're
just assign these tasks. Oh it's Thanksgiving, so we need
to come together and eat turkey and ham. Oh it's Christmas,
so we need to start making a list and buying
certain people gifts if we're gonna go to their house.
Da da da da, you know. And it just started
to become more of something scheduled to do, opposed to
(07:17):
me doing what I actually wanted to do. And that
feeling crept up on me so fast. When we fast
forward end up in twenty twenty and we're dealing with
the C nineteen situation, and that's when I really started
to see myself clearer. And I guess that's also because
(07:41):
when you're talking about something as crazy as C nineteen,
which no one knew what it was, well, the general
public didn't let me just put it out that way.
Right when we started to have this experience, so many
people were taking a step back, and then you're having
to decide who you're going to hang around, who you're
(08:03):
going to allow around you. And I started to watch
what people actually cared about, and I realized twenty twenty
how many people did not want to slow down from
their routines even with this wrench being thrown in the
middle of their plans. And it's a big one because
(08:25):
this is something unknown, it is something that's definitely causing
a lot of deaths, and people did not want to
stop and take a step back from their traditions, and
they still wanted to gather around, still wanted to go, go, go,
and not having that ability to check and say, is
(08:45):
this something that we need to do right now? Maybe
there is something of higher importance that we need to
be mindful of. Maybe checking on others and making sure
we're not causing an unhealthy situation is a better way
to go. But unfortunately that seemed to lack a lot
(09:07):
in my experience. Not everyone had this experience, but a
lot of people did. I know that to be a fact,
and so it only really solidified what I was already
thinking and how I was already feeling because prior to
(09:27):
twenty twenty, and what I could pinpoint in twenty eighteen
is that I'm going through and I'm seeing the seasons change.
I'm feeling like this grief of loss, you know, because
we're losing the vibrance of the summer, and it's strange.
I would have never thought this would be a thing,
(09:49):
but we're losing that. And then here we are during
the holidays, just going in this circle of this is
just what we're supposed to do, and the why we're
doing it is missing. And then when you ask why
are we gathering together? Of course anyone can say, oh,
(10:12):
this is just out of good fun, and it should
be fun to be around family and friends. But there's
a season and a time for everything, and sometimes you
need that alone time. Here is so many people, a
lot of you, not guys. Even this year I'm recording
this podcast here in twenty twenty four. This year, I
(10:32):
saw so many angry people out and about shopping for Christmas.
Because here, you've worked all year just to get a
few days off during the holidays. And imagine you spending
your few days off shopping in Walmart, at the mall,
online wherever, and your whole day and your time off
(10:58):
is consumed with everybody else Where is the season to
take care of self? When is the time that you
can say, oh, you know what, yep, it's the holidays,
but I am gonna treat myself to the gift of peace,
the gift of saving my money right. Because also another
(11:20):
thing too during the holiday seasons is so many people
are spending the money that they've worked so hard to earn,
or getting into further debt that they've worked so hard
to get out of, only to rents and repeat the
next year. That logic had me so warped. And to
(11:43):
be honest, you guys, I wish I could go back,
but you can't, so then you have to change what's forward.
And I'll begin to talk about that here at the moment,
But sometimes I do wish I could go back and
have made better decisions with my finances, having thought through
(12:03):
how I was moving and paid more attention to how
I was feeling. But I kept pushing it to the
back burner, trying to face or should I say, be
the face of excitement and celebration and all of these things.
And I'm gonna be someone to tell you, guys, there's
nothing wrong if you're not feeling that. It's nothing wrong
(12:26):
with you taking a step back. It's nothing wrong with
you saving money. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with you spending
time where you feel it is quite necessary on your
days off, even if it's during the holidays, have a
healthy balance, find a way to still maybe communicate with
the people that you need to, you know, wish everyone well,
(12:51):
do what you need to do in a way that
may help to soften the way you move that year.
But you don't have to keep going all out every
single year. On top of that, we're talking about holidays
that are clearly used to stimulate the economy. It's clearly
(13:13):
used as a tactic for those who are in retail
to sell more and to get an influx of sales
and profit and product motion throughout the year. So I'm
piecing all of these things together, and as I guess
(13:34):
you can clearly see, is I'm thinking and I'm feeling.
And now I'm mindful of what I'm thinking and what
I'm feeling. So twenty eighteen, what ends up happening is
I have this aha moment about you know, seasonal depression.
I think it was all of it, the season changing,
(13:55):
as well as doing the same thing every single year,
keeping the same energy of tradition that was really irking me, right,
And so one day I looked around, Well, first thing
is my mom gave me some plants. This is how
this steamrolled. My mom gave me some plants, and I
(14:17):
told my mom, I said, listen, I don't want any
plants that are gonna die on me. I need plants
that can survive in a desert, which means if I
forget to warter them for any reason, which I tend
to not do, but if I do forget to water them,
if it gets a little cold, if it gets a
(14:37):
little too hot, They're gonna be fine for some time
until I can, you know, attend to them. Right. So
I'm telling my mom this because she she buys all
types of things, plants, flowers, you know, all these things.
And I have neighbors who have the most beautiful banana plants,
elephant earplants. I'm talking about every single year it's gorgeous.
(14:58):
But during the false and in the winter time they
have to cut those plants all the way down, and
it looks to me, this is why I don't do
it for my yard. It is because plants like that
look terrible throughout those two seasons, and then of course
spring summer they start to spring back up and they
(15:19):
look beautiful in the colors, vibrant, and you enjoy it
for that time. I'm like this looks a hot mess
the rest of the year, right, So I never wanted
that in my yard. So my mom ended up listening
to me, and she got me some succulents. And when
I tell you, these succulents grew and grew and grew.
I took care of them. I'm talking about from the
(15:41):
coldest weather to the warmest weather, and I keep them
in the house and it they just bloomed beautifully, to
the point that I'm cutting stuff back, I'm giving pieces
away to other people. It was just lovely. And that's
when I realized, oh my gosh, to solve my issue
with seasonal depression, all I need to do is give
(16:03):
me a few more plants to go in my house.
And I still practice this till this day. That's when
that light bulb moment went off and I was like,
I have this beautiful green plant in my house, A
few of them now that I can take care of
through these seasons where we're losing color and we're losing
leaves and things look so dull. There's a little bit colder,
(16:26):
it's raining a lot more, you know what I mean.
I'm like, oh my gosh, this helps a lot. And
that right there, I'm telling you, guys, solved that issue.
I have not felt that way since then. And these
are things you don't even know it's happening. You feel
(16:47):
a ways, you know, for some time, and you notice
maybe when you start to go into those little feelings.
And for me, the seasonal depression wasn't necessarily that I,
you know, laid in bed and wasn't active in anything
like that. It's just that I felt sad and felt heavy,
(17:08):
you know. And I guess you can say a little
not unmotivated, but just a little shy of happiness. I
guess it's the best way I put it, you know,
It's the best way I can say it at the time.
Trying to think of another way. It's there, But I'm
(17:30):
trying to convey it to you guys in the best
way that you can understand. But you guys may be
catching what I'm saying. And so having plants in my
home and I also have a fish tank, which I
absolutely love. I talk about this thing a few times
in a podcast. I talked about the filtering process and
how that's taught me some things. So that has helped
(17:51):
me a lot to see more vibrance and life throughout
the seasons changing. That's beautiful. So then twenty two t
one comes around, and now I'm having to deal with
the holiday situation. And this is where it finally came
to head for me, because C nineteen became political, and
(18:13):
that was a hot mess. I'm the type of person
before C nineteen I used to tell people that I
don't even go out to eat during the fall and
winter months because we're dealing with flu season, and because
there's so much coughing and touching, and people are working
while they're sick, and a lot of the times I've
(18:35):
experienced going to restaurants and somebody's behind the counter and
they're coughing and then they're fixing your food. It just
threw me so off. This is years and years ago
that I started to practice just not going out to
eat during flu season. So for me, COVID C nineteen
was a no brainer when it came down to, look,
I'm gonna slow down, not gonna be doing all of
(18:58):
this gathering. Everybody else can take those chances, but for me,
I'm not gonna do all of that. I don't even
do that during flu season, you know what I mean.
And so it helped me to take a step back,
and that's when I understood how deep these holidays and
being in the motions of just doing the same thing
(19:20):
every single year was affecting me. So I wanted to
do something different, and so for twenty twenty, I decided
to do some charity work during the holidays. I did
not want any gifts, and honestly, I'm just tied of
the gift factor of things too. I find it to
be very weird, only because I truly believe in giving
(19:44):
to people throughout the year when I think about them.
And another thing too is as a business owner and
someone who works with the public, I enjoy celebrating things
that are truly significant on an individual basis because that's
what makes it really special, opposed to these corporate holidays
(20:11):
and traditions, if that makes sense. And so for me,
celebrating a birthday is important because this is life and
being able to share that with someone, I feel like
it's pretty cool. And so in my business this year,
I incorporated that opposed to doing anything seasonal, you know,
(20:32):
just corporate holiday or you know, I guess you could
say American holiday traditions. However, we want to put that
and that has helped me so much. And so in
twenty twenty, when I took those steps back and I
decided to do things differently in that year, I felt
such a freedom and it caused me to understand that
(20:56):
what I've been missing throughout the year that I've felt
the holidays really kind of pulling on me and the
season seasonal changes pulling on me, is I lost that
ability to feel what I really wanted to do and
to gravitate to my creativity and to I guess you
(21:18):
could say, grab adventure and have new experiences. You lose
that because you get in such a cycle, and that
cycle becomes something very hard to break, especially when it
comes down to not wanting to disappoint other people who
(21:38):
you set these expectations with. And I totally get that,
you know what I mean. I understand that side of things.
And as I'm always saying when I'm recording these podcasts,
is you, guys, just listen to what I'm saying, take
what you need, examine your life for yourself, because there
(21:59):
are nuances to everything that I say. Right, there's a balance,
there is another side. But I do understand that so
many people today are out here, going, going, going, and doing, doing,
doing simply out of the expectation, but not necessarily out
of number one, the necessity of doing it, and then
(22:20):
number two, out of the true authenticity of wanting to
do it. This is something I really want to do.
You know, I'm happy, excited about doing. And when you
lose that happiness and excitement, that means something needs to change,
even if you change it for one year, do something differently,
have a new experience, try it a different way, try
(22:44):
it at a different location. You know something. It's better
than continuing to run, run, run, and go go go
at the same pace each and every year. And that's
what's going to segue me right now into the new year.
You guys. It's okay to have New year resolutions. It's
(23:05):
okay to plan things and achieve your goals. All I'm
gonna say to you, guys is make sure in everything
that I'm saying right now, take some time out to
understand you your purpose in other people's lives, their purpose
in your life. What's the purpose of your emotions and movements.
(23:28):
Are you accomplishing what the purpose is in that? Or
are you just going, going, going and doing doing, doing,
and you're not really feeling much out of it anymore,
and you're really desiring something else, But now you can't
quite tell what that something else is because the emotions
(23:52):
of your previous years have just gone unchecked. So take
some time out this This is my encouragement to anybody
listening in take the time out to learn yourself. If
you have been one who felt a ways about the
holiday seasons, if you haven't been too happy doing the
(24:13):
things that you're doing, make some wholesome changes. It is okay, guys,
in season out of season. I always use this as
an example. It's not good to always keep the same energy.
We have to adapt to the situations that we're in.
I see some people trying to do it, but I
(24:35):
am not that girl that's about to go out here
in thirty degree whether with my Daisy Dude song and
a halt to top and some boots because it's cold.
We need to put on some pants, some shirts, lung sleeves,
you know, cute jacket sweaters, something and that right there
is what I mean. Because a lot of people are
(24:56):
trying to keep the same energy season in and season out.
But sometimes you have to catch that rest. Sometimes you
have to speak less. Sometimes you do need to talk
a little bit more. Sometimes you do need to stay
at home. Sometimes you do need to go. You see
what I'm saying. Sometimes you need to work overtime. I'm
(25:17):
not about to work overtime so i can afford to
give people gifts when it's time for me to rest.
So that means this year, you're not getting any gifts
from me, and I don't want any gifts from you.
Save your money. You get what I'm saying. Is that
a good example for you? Guys. I'm not gonna keep
putting myself out here. And I see people doing that too.
(25:37):
They work and undertime and overtime just so they can
afford gifts. Then they war out going back to work
because they've worked when they were off and now they're unhappy.
I come across a lot of angry people to see
during the Christmas season, and it's not because they're trying
to be a grinch, because they out there shopping and
(25:58):
ready to run you over with a buggy the moment
you walk across them and breathe the wrong way seriously.
And then also, you guys, ask yourself, why why are
you keeping up certain traditions? It is okay to change
them as well, because throughout the United States these holidays,
(26:21):
we're getting new things on the calendars all the time.
They want to claim this to be this day, that day.
It's happening all the time. New traditions are constantly being added.
It is okay to also venture out on your own
and change some of those things yourself. Are you doing
this simply because that's how you were raised? Are you
(26:43):
doing this simply because this is what you're told and
this is how you're told it works? And I thought
about constantly the story of the Grinch during the time
of Christmas season, and I said, whoever came up with
the Grinch? I believe I know where it originated, but
I'm not gonna say it right now because i could
be very wrong, and I don't feel like having to
edit all that out. But we've heard the Grinch through
(27:06):
many different stories, including Doctor Seuss, right and so or
did we hear from Doctor Seuss? I don't know. But
what I'm saying is the story of the Grinch was
quite funny because the Grinch was tired of hearing the
whovialers out here singing their Christmas carols all year. Every
(27:31):
year they're celebrating there around the tree, They're doing all
of these things, and the Grinch was just tired of it.
And Grinch was like, I just want piece of quiet, right,
And so that story I always felt was created to
make anyone who wasn't in the spirit of the holidays,
as they say, to feel bad. And then if you
didn't want to celebrate the holidays, you were considered to
(27:53):
be a grinch. And I thought that was very tactful
how they put that together. Now you have the Christmas
season and the holiday season and the holiday spirit, and
everybody's you know, out and about and they're shopping and
they're moving about, and they're doing all of these things.
And then you have those people who are like, you know,
I'm not gonna come this year. I'm gonna get some resident.
(28:14):
You're just being a grunch. I find that very just.
It was brilliant, brilliantly put together. It really was. But
I am here to tell you guys, to give yourself
permission to explore what you really want in your next
twelve months. I encourage you guys not to waste another
(28:39):
twelve months rinsing and repeating everything you just did. Try
some new things, learn some new things, and definitely, you guys,
learn from your experiences, learn from your emotions, learn and
take some time out to think through so we can
be better human beings for the people we actually do
(29:02):
show up for, including ourselves. So you guys, that is
going to be it for today. That's my thoughts. Oh man,
I'm glad I was able to break this down and
share it with you guys, because it is a real thing,
the holiday woes, the seasonal depression. I have experienced it,
and I do thank God for solutions. Those solutions are
(29:26):
out there. And like I said, I really didn't know
what it was. I just know I felt sad. I
felt heavy, and it was always in the same time
every year, and I began to understand some things and
I've begun to change some things. And twenty twenty Steam
wrote that. Twenty eighteen was another year that Steam wrote that,
and it's practices that I still have to this day.
(29:47):
And I can tell you guys here in twenty twenty four,
I have not felt that heaviness because I've made a
lot of great adjustments. I've understood myself a lot more
so that I can prepare for certain changes, and that
way it can keep me going and I'm not feeling
what I felt in previous years. So you guys, if
(30:07):
you have a comment, remember that I leave a link
to my podcast here in the description of whatever platform
you're listening to this on, you can click there and
come on by and leave a comment. Remember to leave
your comments classic and professional, because that's all we do
over here. And until next time, you guys, Happy New
(30:28):
Year to you and take care. Chat soon.
Hi, everyone, Welcome back to another episode of Motivation Zone.
It is your host here, Monica. My super excited to
be with you guys. We are gonna dive into a
topic of one my holiday woes, and then we're gonna
dive into me motivating you and encouraging you to plan
your next twelve months. Wisely, there is so much that
(00:21):
goes into a new year. A lot of people are
doing New Year's resolutions. Me personally, I'm not a New
Year's resolution gravitator, but I am always seeking to change
when I know that I need to do things differently.
But I understand some people prepare for their changes because
(00:42):
we can get into habits and do things for so
long that we have to brace ourselves for the changes
we're getting ready to make. So I totally get that.
So we'll talk a little bit about that here as well.
And I wanna start off by saying that we are
all not the same. We don't all have the same experience, insists.
But it's always my hope that me encouraging some of
(01:03):
my own experiences in thought processes that it can help
some of you out there, because oftentimes we can feel
like we're quite alone in how we think and feel,
and so to hear someone express something that you may
be able to relate to is oftentimes helpful. Right, So
let me dive into my holiday woes really quick. I've
(01:27):
been thinking about where to start with this. I would
go back even as far as twenty eighteen. And one
thing I've come across as of recent is people who
want to say that the past means nothing. Stop going
back to the past, stop looking backwards. But a lot
(01:48):
of our experiences are shaping how we move forward. If
we're not understanding why we've done some of the things
that we've done in our lives and in the past,
then we tend to move forward in a way that
is not really knowledgeable, and so we're not able to
(02:09):
counter certain things and understand certain movements ahead of time,
even you know, to be prepared. Some people are willing
to just react to everything that they go through instead
of preparing themselves for certain things, because they have not
gained any understanding of what they've experienced. So I'm always
(02:29):
kind of going back just to see why I had
certain reactions and feelings of things. And I want to
say it may have even been as late as twenty sixteen,
but twenty eighteen is when I know for sure I
started to experience seasonal depression. I didn't even know what
(02:49):
that was, to be honest with you guys, And I
want to say I had been experiencing it for years
leading up to twenty eighteen. I just can't pinpoint it.
I just remember twenty eighteen being at light bulb moment, like,
oh my goodness, this is what's going on. So, of course,
(03:10):
in the different states across the US, everyone is not
experiencing the same seasonal changes either. Like there is the fall.
We have a fall here in the South, we have
the winter time. So we're seeing these We pretty much
see the four seasons, right. Some people they stay tropical
all year long. Some people are a little bit colder
(03:32):
longer throughout the year. So for us, in the summertime
here in the South you're talking about, we get the
summer heat, the beautiful bloom of the trees and the
flowers and the leaves and all of these things, and
then the fall comes and we lose all of that.
It is beautiful, of course, And I know a lot
of people who I've had this conversation with they love
(03:56):
when the leaves start changing. You know, and the beauty
of the fall colors, which is gorgeous, by the way,
it's a beautiful sight to see. But then you look
back outside and all the leaves are gone on the
trees and it just looks naked. And you look at
all the grass across different lawns and you know, different places,
(04:18):
and everything is just dry, cracky brown, you know what
I mean. So that color, that vibrance is gone. Then
it's really I mean, we don't get too cold. We're
not like Chicago or Illinois's cold, you know, and some
of these other states will get a lot of snow.
We're not that cold, but it becomes cold enough where
(04:42):
outside activities are not as enjoyable, if that made sense right.
I did not realize how much just that change alone
was impacting me. But then as I'm watching this happen,
you know, kind of checking my emotions throughout the different years,
(05:04):
the different seasons, I started to understand that something else
was really affecting me. But what was happening was I
kept going and going and going because you're trying to
make other people happy. You want other people to feel good,
and I feel like that is always something we should
keep in balance. I am willing to step outside myself
(05:28):
and do something that's gonna be fun for somebody else,
even though it may not be my thing to do.
Does that make sense? But if we can come together
enjoy it and it could be good, wholesome fun, why not. Right? So,
as I'm going through this seasonal depression, which not knowing
what it was, I'm to tell you guys, how I
(05:49):
kind of start to figure it out, which I have
to thank God for it, but it was interesting. So
I'm going through that and I'm realizing how much the
holidays are affecting me because what I'm doing, and there's
layers to this. I'm not going to get into all
the layers, so I'll just kind of talk around some
(06:09):
things because there are some things I'm not quite ready
to share. But there are layers to this. But during
the holidays, I started to feel a ways about it.
And one of the biggest reasons why was because I
started to feel that people were moving in a way
(06:31):
that wasn't sincere When we're going about these holidays in
the United States, it becomes more of just the traditional
thing to do, which then eliminates true feelings and emotions.
When you're just assigned this. And I hate to make
(06:52):
it sound like it, but that's how I felt. We're
just assign these tasks. Oh it's Thanksgiving, so we need
to come together and eat turkey and ham. Oh it's Christmas,
so we need to start making a list and buying
certain people gifts if we're gonna go to their house.
Da da da da, you know. And it just started
to become more of something scheduled to do, opposed to
(07:17):
me doing what I actually wanted to do. And that
feeling crept up on me so fast. When we fast
forward end up in twenty twenty and we're dealing with
the C nineteen situation, and that's when I really started
to see myself clearer. And I guess that's also because
(07:41):
when you're talking about something as crazy as C nineteen,
which no one knew what it was, well, the general
public didn't let me just put it out that way.
Right when we started to have this experience, so many
people were taking a step back, and then you're having
to decide who you're going to hang around, who you're
(08:03):
going to allow around you. And I started to watch
what people actually cared about, and I realized twenty twenty
how many people did not want to slow down from
their routines even with this wrench being thrown in the
middle of their plans. And it's a big one because
(08:25):
this is something unknown, it is something that's definitely causing
a lot of deaths, and people did not want to
stop and take a step back from their traditions, and
they still wanted to gather around, still wanted to go, go, go,
and not having that ability to check and say, is
(08:45):
this something that we need to do right now? Maybe
there is something of higher importance that we need to
be mindful of. Maybe checking on others and making sure
we're not causing an unhealthy situation is a better way
to go. But unfortunately that seemed to lack a lot
(09:07):
in my experience. Not everyone had this experience, but a
lot of people did. I know that to be a fact,
and so it only really solidified what I was already
thinking and how I was already feeling because prior to
(09:27):
twenty twenty, and what I could pinpoint in twenty eighteen
is that I'm going through and I'm seeing the seasons change.
I'm feeling like this grief of loss, you know, because
we're losing the vibrance of the summer, and it's strange.
I would have never thought this would be a thing,
(09:49):
but we're losing that. And then here we are during
the holidays, just going in this circle of this is
just what we're supposed to do, and the why we're
doing it is missing. And then when you ask why
are we gathering together? Of course anyone can say, oh,
(10:12):
this is just out of good fun, and it should
be fun to be around family and friends. But there's
a season and a time for everything, and sometimes you
need that alone time. Here is so many people, a
lot of you, not guys. Even this year I'm recording
this podcast here in twenty twenty four. This year, I
(10:32):
saw so many angry people out and about shopping for Christmas.
Because here, you've worked all year just to get a
few days off during the holidays. And imagine you spending
your few days off shopping in Walmart, at the mall,
online wherever, and your whole day and your time off
(10:58):
is consumed with everybody else Where is the season to
take care of self? When is the time that you
can say, oh, you know what, yep, it's the holidays,
but I am gonna treat myself to the gift of peace,
the gift of saving my money right. Because also another
(11:20):
thing too during the holiday seasons is so many people
are spending the money that they've worked so hard to earn,
or getting into further debt that they've worked so hard
to get out of, only to rents and repeat the
next year. That logic had me so warped. And to
(11:43):
be honest, you guys, I wish I could go back,
but you can't, so then you have to change what's forward.
And I'll begin to talk about that here at the moment,
But sometimes I do wish I could go back and
have made better decisions with my finances, having thought through
(12:03):
how I was moving and paid more attention to how
I was feeling. But I kept pushing it to the
back burner, trying to face or should I say, be
the face of excitement and celebration and all of these things.
And I'm gonna be someone to tell you, guys, there's
nothing wrong if you're not feeling that. It's nothing wrong
(12:26):
with you taking a step back. It's nothing wrong with
you saving money. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with you spending
time where you feel it is quite necessary on your
days off, even if it's during the holidays, have a
healthy balance, find a way to still maybe communicate with
the people that you need to, you know, wish everyone well,
(12:51):
do what you need to do in a way that
may help to soften the way you move that year.
But you don't have to keep going all out every
single year. On top of that, we're talking about holidays
that are clearly used to stimulate the economy. It's clearly
(13:13):
used as a tactic for those who are in retail
to sell more and to get an influx of sales
and profit and product motion throughout the year. So I'm
piecing all of these things together, and as I guess
(13:34):
you can clearly see, is I'm thinking and I'm feeling.
And now I'm mindful of what I'm thinking and what
I'm feeling. So twenty eighteen, what ends up happening is
I have this aha moment about you know, seasonal depression.
I think it was all of it, the season changing,
(13:55):
as well as doing the same thing every single year,
keeping the same energy of tradition that was really irking me, right,
And so one day I looked around, Well, first thing
is my mom gave me some plants. This is how
this steamrolled. My mom gave me some plants, and I
(14:17):
told my mom, I said, listen, I don't want any
plants that are gonna die on me. I need plants
that can survive in a desert, which means if I
forget to warter them for any reason, which I tend
to not do, but if I do forget to water them,
if it gets a little cold, if it gets a
(14:37):
little too hot, They're gonna be fine for some time
until I can, you know, attend to them. Right. So
I'm telling my mom this because she she buys all
types of things, plants, flowers, you know, all these things.
And I have neighbors who have the most beautiful banana plants,
elephant earplants. I'm talking about every single year it's gorgeous.
(14:58):
But during the false and in the winter time they
have to cut those plants all the way down, and
it looks to me, this is why I don't do
it for my yard. It is because plants like that
look terrible throughout those two seasons, and then of course
spring summer they start to spring back up and they
(15:19):
look beautiful in the colors, vibrant, and you enjoy it
for that time. I'm like this looks a hot mess
the rest of the year, right, So I never wanted
that in my yard. So my mom ended up listening
to me, and she got me some succulents. And when
I tell you, these succulents grew and grew and grew.
I took care of them. I'm talking about from the
(15:41):
coldest weather to the warmest weather, and I keep them
in the house and it they just bloomed beautifully, to
the point that I'm cutting stuff back, I'm giving pieces
away to other people. It was just lovely. And that's
when I realized, oh my gosh, to solve my issue
with seasonal depression, all I need to do is give
(16:03):
me a few more plants to go in my house.
And I still practice this till this day. That's when
that light bulb moment went off and I was like,
I have this beautiful green plant in my house, A
few of them now that I can take care of
through these seasons where we're losing color and we're losing
leaves and things look so dull. There's a little bit colder,
(16:26):
it's raining a lot more, you know what I mean.
I'm like, oh my gosh, this helps a lot. And
that right there, I'm telling you, guys, solved that issue.
I have not felt that way since then. And these
are things you don't even know it's happening. You feel
(16:47):
a ways, you know, for some time, and you notice
maybe when you start to go into those little feelings.
And for me, the seasonal depression wasn't necessarily that I,
you know, laid in bed and wasn't active in anything
like that. It's just that I felt sad and felt heavy,
(17:08):
you know. And I guess you can say a little
not unmotivated, but just a little shy of happiness. I
guess it's the best way I put it, you know,
It's the best way I can say it at the time.
Trying to think of another way. It's there, But I'm
(17:30):
trying to convey it to you guys in the best
way that you can understand. But you guys may be
catching what I'm saying. And so having plants in my
home and I also have a fish tank, which I
absolutely love. I talk about this thing a few times
in a podcast. I talked about the filtering process and
how that's taught me some things. So that has helped
(17:51):
me a lot to see more vibrance and life throughout
the seasons changing. That's beautiful. So then twenty two t
one comes around, and now I'm having to deal with
the holiday situation. And this is where it finally came
to head for me, because C nineteen became political, and
(18:13):
that was a hot mess. I'm the type of person
before C nineteen I used to tell people that I
don't even go out to eat during the fall and
winter months because we're dealing with flu season, and because
there's so much coughing and touching, and people are working
while they're sick, and a lot of the times I've
(18:35):
experienced going to restaurants and somebody's behind the counter and
they're coughing and then they're fixing your food. It just
threw me so off. This is years and years ago
that I started to practice just not going out to
eat during flu season. So for me, COVID C nineteen
was a no brainer when it came down to, look,
I'm gonna slow down, not gonna be doing all of
(18:58):
this gathering. Everybody else can take those chances, but for me,
I'm not gonna do all of that. I don't even
do that during flu season, you know what I mean.
And so it helped me to take a step back,
and that's when I understood how deep these holidays and
being in the motions of just doing the same thing
(19:20):
every single year was affecting me. So I wanted to
do something different, and so for twenty twenty, I decided
to do some charity work during the holidays. I did
not want any gifts, and honestly, I'm just tied of
the gift factor of things too. I find it to
be very weird, only because I truly believe in giving
(19:44):
to people throughout the year when I think about them.
And another thing too is as a business owner and
someone who works with the public, I enjoy celebrating things
that are truly significant on an individual basis because that's
what makes it really special, opposed to these corporate holidays
(20:11):
and traditions, if that makes sense. And so for me,
celebrating a birthday is important because this is life and
being able to share that with someone, I feel like
it's pretty cool. And so in my business this year,
I incorporated that opposed to doing anything seasonal, you know,
(20:32):
just corporate holiday or you know, I guess you could
say American holiday traditions. However, we want to put that
and that has helped me so much. And so in
twenty twenty, when I took those steps back and I
decided to do things differently in that year, I felt
such a freedom and it caused me to understand that
(20:56):
what I've been missing throughout the year that I've felt
the holidays really kind of pulling on me and the
season seasonal changes pulling on me, is I lost that
ability to feel what I really wanted to do and
to gravitate to my creativity and to I guess you
(21:18):
could say, grab adventure and have new experiences. You lose
that because you get in such a cycle, and that
cycle becomes something very hard to break, especially when it
comes down to not wanting to disappoint other people who
(21:38):
you set these expectations with. And I totally get that,
you know what I mean. I understand that side of things.
And as I'm always saying when I'm recording these podcasts,
is you, guys, just listen to what I'm saying, take
what you need, examine your life for yourself, because there
(21:59):
are nuances to everything that I say. Right, there's a balance,
there is another side. But I do understand that so
many people today are out here, going, going, going, and doing, doing,
doing simply out of the expectation, but not necessarily out
of number one, the necessity of doing it, and then
(22:20):
number two, out of the true authenticity of wanting to
do it. This is something I really want to do.
You know, I'm happy, excited about doing. And when you
lose that happiness and excitement, that means something needs to change,
even if you change it for one year, do something differently,
have a new experience, try it a different way, try
(22:44):
it at a different location. You know something. It's better
than continuing to run, run, run, and go go go
at the same pace each and every year. And that's
what's going to segue me right now into the new year.
You guys. It's okay to have New year resolutions. It's
(23:05):
okay to plan things and achieve your goals. All I'm
gonna say to you, guys is make sure in everything
that I'm saying right now, take some time out to
understand you your purpose in other people's lives, their purpose
in your life. What's the purpose of your emotions and movements.
(23:28):
Are you accomplishing what the purpose is in that? Or
are you just going, going, going and doing doing, doing,
and you're not really feeling much out of it anymore,
and you're really desiring something else, But now you can't
quite tell what that something else is because the emotions
(23:52):
of your previous years have just gone unchecked. So take
some time out this This is my encouragement to anybody
listening in take the time out to learn yourself. If
you have been one who felt a ways about the
holiday seasons, if you haven't been too happy doing the
(24:13):
things that you're doing, make some wholesome changes. It is okay, guys,
in season out of season. I always use this as
an example. It's not good to always keep the same energy.
We have to adapt to the situations that we're in.
I see some people trying to do it, but I
(24:35):
am not that girl that's about to go out here
in thirty degree whether with my Daisy Dude song and
a halt to top and some boots because it's cold.
We need to put on some pants, some shirts, lung sleeves,
you know, cute jacket sweaters, something and that right there
is what I mean. Because a lot of people are
(24:56):
trying to keep the same energy season in and season out.
But sometimes you have to catch that rest. Sometimes you
have to speak less. Sometimes you do need to talk
a little bit more. Sometimes you do need to stay
at home. Sometimes you do need to go. You see
what I'm saying. Sometimes you need to work overtime. I'm
(25:17):
not about to work overtime so i can afford to
give people gifts when it's time for me to rest.
So that means this year, you're not getting any gifts
from me, and I don't want any gifts from you.
Save your money. You get what I'm saying. Is that
a good example for you? Guys. I'm not gonna keep
putting myself out here. And I see people doing that too.
(25:37):
They work and undertime and overtime just so they can
afford gifts. Then they war out going back to work
because they've worked when they were off and now they're unhappy.
I come across a lot of angry people to see
during the Christmas season, and it's not because they're trying
to be a grinch, because they out there shopping and
(25:58):
ready to run you over with a buggy the moment
you walk across them and breathe the wrong way seriously.
And then also, you guys, ask yourself, why why are
you keeping up certain traditions? It is okay to change
them as well, because throughout the United States these holidays,
(26:21):
we're getting new things on the calendars all the time.
They want to claim this to be this day, that day.
It's happening all the time. New traditions are constantly being added.
It is okay to also venture out on your own
and change some of those things yourself. Are you doing
this simply because that's how you were raised? Are you
(26:43):
doing this simply because this is what you're told and
this is how you're told it works? And I thought
about constantly the story of the Grinch during the time
of Christmas season, and I said, whoever came up with
the Grinch? I believe I know where it originated, but
I'm not gonna say it right now because i could
be very wrong, and I don't feel like having to
edit all that out. But we've heard the Grinch through
(27:06):
many different stories, including Doctor Seuss, right and so or
did we hear from Doctor Seuss? I don't know. But
what I'm saying is the story of the Grinch was
quite funny because the Grinch was tired of hearing the
whovialers out here singing their Christmas carols all year. Every
(27:31):
year they're celebrating there around the tree, They're doing all
of these things, and the Grinch was just tired of it.
And Grinch was like, I just want piece of quiet, right,
And so that story I always felt was created to
make anyone who wasn't in the spirit of the holidays,
as they say, to feel bad. And then if you
didn't want to celebrate the holidays, you were considered to
(27:53):
be a grinch. And I thought that was very tactful
how they put that together. Now you have the Christmas
season and the holiday season and the holiday spirit, and
everybody's you know, out and about and they're shopping and
they're moving about, and they're doing all of these things.
And then you have those people who are like, you know,
I'm not gonna come this year. I'm gonna get some resident.
(28:14):
You're just being a grunch. I find that very just.
It was brilliant, brilliantly put together. It really was. But
I am here to tell you guys, to give yourself
permission to explore what you really want in your next
twelve months. I encourage you guys not to waste another
(28:39):
twelve months rinsing and repeating everything you just did. Try
some new things, learn some new things, and definitely, you guys,
learn from your experiences, learn from your emotions, learn and
take some time out to think through so we can
be better human beings for the people we actually do
(29:02):
show up for, including ourselves. So you guys, that is
going to be it for today. That's my thoughts. Oh man,
I'm glad I was able to break this down and
share it with you guys, because it is a real thing,
the holiday woes, the seasonal depression. I have experienced it,
and I do thank God for solutions. Those solutions are
(29:26):
out there. And like I said, I really didn't know
what it was. I just know I felt sad. I
felt heavy, and it was always in the same time
every year, and I began to understand some things and
I've begun to change some things. And twenty twenty Steam
wrote that. Twenty eighteen was another year that Steam wrote that,
and it's practices that I still have to this day.
(29:47):
And I can tell you guys here in twenty twenty four,
I have not felt that heaviness because I've made a
lot of great adjustments. I've understood myself a lot more
so that I can prepare for certain changes, and that
way it can keep me going and I'm not feeling
what I felt in previous years. So you guys, if
(30:07):
you have a comment, remember that I leave a link
to my podcast here in the description of whatever platform
you're listening to this on, you can click there and
come on by and leave a comment. Remember to leave
your comments classic and professional, because that's all we do
over here. And until next time, you guys, Happy New
(30:28):
Year to you and take care. Chat soon.
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