March 4, 2025 • 32 mins
Comedian, Tom Green freestyles in-studio! (2010) The later, the show plays Ice Cream Roulette with Blue Bell ice cream (2016). Plus, find out which celebrities Michael is bigger than (2019). And finally, the show meets David who wants to be a stand up comedian (2015). Get more show at MZNOW
Watch the full episode on YouTube:
YouTube.com/@michaelzavala
Follow the Guys:
Michael Zavala @michaelzavala
Eric Star @mrericstar
Clark @justsimplyclark
Follow the Show:
Instagram: @mznowtv
www.MZNOW.tv
Produced at mzStudios
mzStudiosDallas.com
Watch the full episode on YouTube:
YouTube.com/@michaelzavala
Follow the Guys:
Michael Zavala @michaelzavala
Eric Star @mrericstar
Clark @justsimplyclark
Follow the Show:
Instagram: @mznowtv
www.MZNOW.tv
Produced at mzStudios
mzStudiosDallas.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
This is the best of m Z playing the greatest
moments in EMZ history since two thousand and six. Two.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Well, Tom, do you want to do a couple of freestyle?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh shoots, Oh.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Let's hear some beats. I don't act, I actually don't trust.
I'm totally not prepared for this. Let me put it actually,
let me actually say something here about that exhibit video.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
For real. I was not freestyling. He was freestyling.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
I was just kind of wrapping some verses that I'd
had in my head that were floating around for years.
So I did that over a beat that I knew
was coming. And then he came in off the cuff olia.
So you know, that's that's ad that that was That
was awesome. Well that's that's that's a great because Eminem
did the same thing. Was DJing as my friend Mike
Simpson from the Dust Brothers. Yeah, and he made the
(00:57):
album Paul's Boutiques BC Boys second album. Produced a lot
of all the beats on there, a lot of them.
I don't know the exact the Dust Brothers and he
he was he made that beat and he dropped that beat,
and then I wrapped over it and an exhibit was laughing,
and then he actually I handed him a mic and
he actually wrapped, which is a you know now, I
you know, I I don't know. I'm going to prove
(01:20):
right now that I cannot freestyle. Okay, okay, here we go.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
I got I got some beats here for you.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Notice.
Speaker 5 (01:26):
Okay, you're making me a little nervous.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
That is what I want to say. You got something
like yeah, it's like this, what.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
All of them? And then he can pick what he
wants to do.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
I've got four for you, man.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
You write down some buzzwords for me, some keywords you
want down?
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Give me write down all your names and the name
of the show.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yo, yo, yo, yo, right down?
Speaker 6 (01:48):
Uh uh something about the poodle to shoot right down?
Live online dot com.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah, empty, live online dot com. He's gonna have a
liquor too, yo Yeah, Live online dot com.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Kind of of some sort, drinking.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Some beers, drinking some coffee.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
All right, all right, I got this one.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah, uh, you can pick.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I got one more.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Okay, did you make all these feats?
Speaker 6 (02:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I just made that last one.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
I like this one.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
This was a little scary, yeah, like scary beata.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Hey, that's good because you're getting ready to do y thing.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Yeah oh yeah, ic be yo yo yo.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
This one's a little too crazy, all right, Yeah, so
you want to do this one?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
That's that's way too much, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
You have a little flower alright you want Did you
like that first one? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
That one?
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Yeah, yeah, that's actually Michael Creation.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah, okay, here we go, Here we go, kick it
MC live online. My name is Cig on the mic,
drinking beers on the mic. Now I'm easy on the mic.
Now I'm greasy on the mike. You talk about this,
you talk about that, But I can drop a fat
wrap at the drop of a hat. Each up like tobacco.
I don't smoke to tobacco. Each you up like a taco.
(03:20):
Each each you up like a taco. I don't smoke tobacco,
but whatever, I just smoke Holy Macrol. My name is TG.
Let me rock this now, pass it over to my man.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
YEO here right now.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
Yew is my name because the girl.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Wo wow wows right wow wow wow wow wow.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
On my left that's right, not right, And the girls
are like, oh my god, you're here.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
He's like, yeah, I mean I'm TG.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Yes, I haven't heard at home.
Speaker 5 (03:50):
That was pretty good at all?
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Like that one.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
That's good to be a pen so I can begin
to ride a new rhyme, start a new trend. Sound
the alarm, I'm dropping a bomb. I'm giving your flashbacks
like the Second Vietnam. Now you want a rhyme like mine,
you gotta sign the contract on the dotted line. I
got your strung out younother hungout TG MC live online
(04:17):
number one out beats raw. That's why I'm sure after
this is doped out, I can dope you more. I
got another jam. Dearvin t Slam. My name is TG.
That's who I am. Rhyme superb. Some say splendid biting
is intended, but I recommended. Let's go back to the system. Everybody,
(04:37):
it's your time to ride the rhythm.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Here we go MC live online to everybody. Have a
chicken sandwich, a chicken Diami. Let me tell you how
many rappers you've had on this show up here and
for the lip.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Like that twist say the building ladies and gentlemen, they.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Go with the plowing. Your people that don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
You have people that don't know at least my jacket open.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Let my fresh threads shows the white boy from it.
That's up to mister big Stuff mc penn in Ottawa, Canada.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
From organized Rhyme. That was his rhyme.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I remembered that I pulled lines that I remember from
when I was a kid out of my head organized rhyme.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Check it out on YouTube. Yes, you have to check
the o R.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I know all the word I did.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
That you can go on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I was in a rap group when I was in
in high school and wa that was twenty years ago,
twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
We're starting the year off of some bad news. Yes,
Bluebell ice Cream has announced that they did find some
more lesteria in their production plants, or at least.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
Once after they just got started back up.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I know. And let's be honest, Bluebell has the best
ice cream in the world. True that Homie Vanilla is amazing.
Now let's talk about Lasteria moo limium. What is listeria.
Listeria is a bacteria that infects humans and other warm
blooded animals through contaminated food. It's a serious disease for
humans and like the worst version of that disease, has
(06:13):
a fatality rate of twenty percent. So it's a very
serious deal. So with that being said, we're gonna play
a game called ice cream Roulette. And you have in
front of you a spinner from the board game Life.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
I love that game, and careful with it because it
will fly.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yes, yeah, and make sure you spin it right now.
There are ten numbers on this spinner. I have here
in my little studio room, ten cups, each with one
scoop of ice cream. Oh, one of these cups contains
Bluebell ice cream, which may have listeria. You may you
have a twenty chance.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
So if it lands on the number, we got to eat.
Speaker 7 (06:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Well this is Yeah, this is especially scary for himie
because he's diabetic, so he could die of listeria and
sugar overdose. So this is amazing. So there's only one cop.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
You keep reminding me of two girls one cup.
Speaker 5 (07:06):
Not what you would think of that the way.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
He said, I love it.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Hey, keep it clean, all right, the smooth head. Now,
when you get your ice cream, don't eat it. We're
gonna eat it all at the end, okay, and then
I will reveal what number cop has the Bluebell ice cream.
You may not get it, all right.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
All right, for all of Latino fans, I know you'll
laughing out as hard as I am right now, those
who had his I've never heard. Let's play this game.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Let's be all right, what Let's get sick, all right,
himI your first again. Now, Jimi's throw me under the
himI has diabetes part Part two, the sequel to diabetes,
even more diabetes, and uh, he is going to either
have the Bluebell ice cream cup or die of blood.
Sugar points number on this right here. Number one.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
You won't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
There's ten. There's ten compossibilities. Yeah, we won't know. But one, two, three, four, five, Yes,
but you start to eat one all.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
You got to spin it theme You.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Played life before, so that's not right. It's just all right.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
But just give it a good spin.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Give a good spin.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
There you go. Six.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
That was kind of like the tight spin the Devils.
Speaker 8 (08:26):
You Devil's number, Chris, it is, Oh my god, you
weren't lying.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
I love those cups.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
I gotta find a cup, thank you.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
That's like our budget has increased because those cups are
very nice.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Michael just got to raise Yeah, MC corporate gave us
all some extra money to.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Trickle down effect. It just doesn't work.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
Yeah, it just stops at Michael for us.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Have mercy on my soul.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
The uh him, Yeah, you don't don't need to get
about an ounce.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, it's all small. I don't want you to die
on the show that may. That'd be really bad.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Every every cup has ice creaming it.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Every cup has ice cream. Oh, just a spoonful, just
a spoonful of the steria sugar. Okay, so you should
be good. You might get some poisoning and throw up
and stuff, but you'll you'll be fine.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
My cup then, oh my god, No, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I don't know which one it is. Chris, go ahead
and spin the wheel, right, let's do this. Come on, now,
what is that?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
It landed on number two and it malfunction.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Malfunction. It got so this life life spinner. Oh there
we go?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Oh no, man, there, all right, let me spin my ready?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Oh all right, you got to spin again? Is gone?
You have?
Speaker 4 (09:53):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Ten, lucky number ten.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Come on.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
I don't know what you're worried about, y'all.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Know, he's just I'm actually looking forward to its coming
a little hungry right now.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
So, oh it's brown, Well, you know, he's gonna put
a cover I get right, all right, No I don't.
It's already been poured, Bobby Man, So what Eric, go
ahead and spend.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
My life chocolate ice cream? I like a Rocky Road
ice cream. While we're on the you know subject like six?
Oh my god again?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Ten? Oh?
Speaker 5 (10:33):
Where Sarah?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Where Sarah pants?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yo?
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I would do the same thing. I like sausa so much.
When I spilled it all myself, I was.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Like, oh my god, it's like leaking.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Is it vanilla?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
That's not a good sign. If it's leaking, it's like
it's like a leakage swamp.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
Swam ass.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
All right, Bobby, final one booty juice?
Speaker 5 (11:00):
What is.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Seven? Wow? You didn't get it? Six?
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Come on now, of all people, you would think I
would be the one to get to set.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
A resident a.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
Rocky Road?
Speaker 4 (11:13):
Am I the only one with the with the blue belt?
Homemade vanilla? I love Rocky Brother chocolate.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
No, I got this one. This is Ben and Jerry's
over here, but it got mint.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
I like mint too.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
All right, already, we're gonna eat this now and then
I will reveal which one the osteria? No? No, I
just grab whatever whatever's left. All right ready, I'll see
with you that if we die, we die together.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Steria tastes good.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
This is the Ben and Jerry's uh brownie budge something
like that.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
This is this is blue belt right here.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
This tastes like the pudding that they used to sell
at Windy in the salad.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Barsimi Jimi does have the osteria blue belt number six.
Really yeah, so you're gonna die either osteria or or
diabetes part two, so long as long as you'll help
to bury me.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
It's okay, that's crazy.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
What do you want to look like in your box?
There's like a big night in here.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
That's my specialty. She wants to see.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
And uh, it's melting in my mouth though it taste
you want me?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
What do you want me to tell your kids after
you pass of lasterio or diabetes number two?
Speaker 3 (12:22):
He was a real ass beach and a pig as
World two nineteen.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
We're gonna play a game, and the game is called
let me see now that we have the effects working properly.
Speaker 6 (12:36):
If I get this, U uh see, I forgot that so.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Much.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
I guess.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Let's redo that whole thing too much. Let's do that
redo that whole thing.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
You wanted to redo it. Yeah, never have from Let's
play a game. Hang on, now I can't get this
board to work. I gotta now all right, here we go.
So this is the game where we try to figure
out who's bigger Michael, Zavala or Blanka and uh today
(13:16):
we're doing, uh a celebrity edition. So it's a guess
who's bigger Michael or this celebrity?
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Are you ready? Okay, So we.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Go ahead and just guess all celebrities because you're not
as big as any of them.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
No, there's some there's someone bigger than okay, and they're
on those these names. Uh, so I'm gonna get I'm
gonna give you a name, and then you tell me
who's bigger me. And now by bigger, we name the
show guess who's bigger, but we really mean just height wise.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Okay, Okay, that just changed my whole perspective. Yeah, right,
Like you're not bigger than anyone. Like if I said
Michael or ray J, who's bigger? Now height wise, I
might be bigger, but you know I did too. That
was the most impressive part. Michael was talking about giving
himself a tattoo on his thigh and millimeters.
Speaker 5 (13:59):
God, he really was.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
All right, let me get to the right board here.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
That's your word? All right?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
So first name, I'm gonna give you a name. You
tell me who you think is bigger. First First, the
audience like, man, this disaster is great. First name, speaking
of Stranger Things, Gayton Matteazzo think is his name? He
plays Dustin on Stranger Things. Who's bigger, Michau Zavalla or
Dustin Man? Uh?
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I'm out?
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I remember Dustin is a teenager?
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Yes he is.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
I'm a full grown man, but you're the size of
a teenager, right, I'm going with him. I think he
grew a little in the before this new series. All right,
I'm gonna say Michael is bigger.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Eric is correct, I am bigger than Gaydon according to
who WHI stood side by side, like literally a few
months ago, right before his puberty. He's just before he yeah, exactly,
he's a preteen. He's at yet right now, he's teen.
He's like fifteen or sixteen. Yeah. You know what's weird
is I saw Caleb promoting the show. Who's is that
his name? Or is it Caleb in the show? I
(15:09):
don't know his real name is anyway, he has a
go tee and I'm like, you're not supposed to have
a go to you should.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Have a go tee.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Oh oh yeah, you're like twelve. That was what did
we watched that?
Speaker 5 (15:18):
They were on a hot one Hot one?
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and uh and I'm like, you're not
supposed to have this, right, you're too young.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
That was freaky.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
And then we looked him up and he's like seventeen
or eighteen, like old. Next name Michael Zavalla or Marina
Curtis from Star Trek The Next Generation. Guess who's bigger.
And by the way, we have tested this out, we
have seen who's bigger.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I'm going with her also on this one.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Do you remember Eric? Eric was there. I have stood
next to Marina Certis at least five times.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
I can't remember, but I'm gonna have to say.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Her. Yeah, you guys are both wrong. Michaul Zavalla is big,
too short.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
I'm gonna need to see some evidence.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I'm gonna see her a couple weeks.
Speaker 9 (16:11):
I'll stay ye buyer, all right, you get a picture now,
I'll just not you, Okay, when you see her next
week and you tell her to please do you want
to go with me.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
Where are you going the convention?
Speaker 7 (16:20):
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, you can start Trek convention. Just go, It'll be
real quick. You just go for one day.
Speaker 9 (16:25):
We'll talk about off there, all right, but tell her
if you see her. But when you see her, tell
her to get on the new Star Trek show the card.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Oh, we'll talk about that here a little bit.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I got news for you on that. Oh all right,
So next name, Guess who's bigger?
Speaker 5 (16:44):
I love that. I'm glad we have so much space.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
So right here, our new studio has a big Uh
it really is some what do you call it? Rafters?
Is that what it's called.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Where people sit. I don't like at a football stadium
of the high school. Bleachers bleachers, Yeah, we have bleachers
in here.
Speaker 5 (17:01):
I have a lot of room.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Man.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
I'm pretty sure this table we're sitting at is as
big as the other room was.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Yes, pretty close to the least. Guess who's bigger? Michael
Zavalla or Tom Green?
Speaker 5 (17:12):
Tom Green?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Heyah showing with him too?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
That's uso. We have a picture of him floating around
studio here somewhere. You're not in it though. Wait, no,
I'm running in his armpit. So the correct answer, I forget.
The correct answer is Tom Green. That's correct.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
I'm so mad about that that I missed that whole interview.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
Yeah, you you were very upset.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I remember that, Yeah, because you emailed me afterwards and like,
why do anybody tell me?
Speaker 5 (17:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:35):
But anyway he.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Was, He was all right, No, I like, Tom, do
you paint lesbians on your car?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
No, he's very he's just First off, Tom and I
are exactly alike off air. That sounds we don't want
to talk to anybody. We're very awkward. He just said
he didn't want to talk to anybody off air. We
just hate life. We just want to go back here.
As far as he does, well, you do it because
you have a necessity if I didn't have to do it.
We spent like twenty minutes talking to security guard. Yes,
(18:03):
outside of the damn door, and it's like a hundred degrees.
He's telling the truth, Like, what the where the hell
did you go? We were talking about marital problems? Oh,
oh yeah, you can't relate that. Yeah. Oh man, who's bigger?
Michael Zaballa or Kevin Hart.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Oh, I'll guess you this.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
You yeah, Michael, You're absolutely correct, and that is there
is a picture floating around somewhere.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
I don't think it's here of the studio. Probably twice
as wide as you now though.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Oh he's yeah, yeah, yeah, No, he's definitely bigger, but
he's tall.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
I'm taller, he's wider. He's bigger in his career, but
you got him in height. What do you think Michael's
on Kevin Hart's level? No, I think so. I'm just
I don't think so. I thought that was the point
of this game originally. That's why I picked all celebrities first.
But at least you got hired on him. I feel
like I'm funnier than Kevin Hart. I couldn't tell.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Yeah, yeah, you definitely are. You know why because I
don't yell up. I don't yell my jokes to you.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 9 (18:59):
You're definitely funnier than Kevin Hart, right, because I don't
really like Kevin Hart.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I'm not a big Kevin Hart comedy fan. I like
Kevin harton movies, watching him stand up, not that funny.
I mean he's funny, don't get me wrong. So he
deserves everything he's got. What you're saying I think I'm funnier.
You don't like his writing, you like people writing for him?
Oh that's what it sounds like if you like him
in movie. Oh yea yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
There's a lot of people like that. Yeah, there's there's
(19:24):
a lot of people. I respect his Canadians and I
like them either in like I may not like their
stand up or I may like their stand up and
not like anything else. It's you know, it just depends.
But I do like Kevin. Kevin was very nice to
me when we hung out. He offered me a red
Bull free of charge.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
It was great. All right, here we go.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Guess who's bigger, Michael Zavalla or Kim Kardashian. Definitely you,
Kim Kardashan spidern on this one. Oh, like, whe where
are get your information? Because I know there's no pictures
around here of you and her? Kim k is bigger.
I've never met Kim, but but I have. I'm judging
(20:10):
by the size of ray J. I'm using Raj as scale.
Then huh, No.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
I got I'm going opposite Harry. I'm going with you
this time.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yes, yeah, you are correct. I am I am bigger
than Kim kardash Yeah. Now I want to see Kim
card like five to two. If you see her hands,
I better her hands are massive, because you see that
RAYJ video. Her hands better be massive. Otherwise we just
all need to kill ourselves.
Speaker 9 (20:37):
You're probably right because I've seen her in photos with
high heels on.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
Yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I didn't think well and then and you got to think, like,
so who's the older sister Chloe or the younger sister Chloe.
Chloe is the younger one. She's the bigger one. Yeah,
OJ's daughter. Uh, with heels, like Kim comes and Chloe's
only like five nine, which is still taller than me.
But you know, but Kim comes up to like her
waist even with heels. So Kim's very short. But I
(21:06):
hope she has big hands. We all need to pray
she has big hands. You want her to have small hands?
Speaker 5 (21:13):
No?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
I want no, Okay, it's a whole thing. It's like
I said, if you're using re j as scale, you
want her hands to be huge. No wait, right, reverse
what I said. You would have to be small, very
very small. Her hands are used, and that's a bad thing.
All right, this one. This one has also been tested
(21:34):
in real life. Uh, Felix Cela. I think that's how
you say his name, and I'll I'll tell you what
he's from. He's from the original Adams Family. He was
cousin It. Oh. He's also been in a lot of
other movies, but Cousin is probably.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
His most famous role.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Was very small. Yeah, i'll go with you too. Yeah,
you're a correct. Felix is about three foot four something
like that. Yeah, that's He's such a nice guy though.
I end up every time I see him, he and
I end up talking for like an hour just about.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
Whatever, well, height.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
How short, how short people live in this world, and
how how hard it is for us and things like that. No,
we talk about like the industry, and he complains to
me about how you didn't get paid enough on certain things.
And I mean, I gotta give it to him. This
guy does like twenty conventions a year and just still rolling.
He's probably in his eighties now. Wow, but boys, he's
a great We never had him on the show, but
(22:30):
we need to I enjoy so yeah, I know, all right,
here we go. Who is bigger? Michael Zavalla or McCaulay Culkin.
Oh damn, I've seen pictures of this. Yeah, I'm going
with him too. That is a trick question because we're
both the same heights. What Yeah, we're mccaullay colchan and
(22:50):
I are literally the same person.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Whatever picture I saw, you were much shorter than him.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
He was. He was behind me though, it was it
was a picture from what was going on there the
other he is walking away from me.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
He was scared of him.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, and I was looking longingly at him, and he
was talking to Moving Unit, who was behind us and
the band Yeah, whoa they opened for him. Moving Units
had been on the show. Really, Yeah, they're really great.
I used to play their stuff at VIC all the time.
I haven't since then. Yeah, they're great. They've been on
the show. Then. They tried to hit on Jesse one time.
(23:24):
I think they did.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
I think they did.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, they started hitting her up. Who is bigger, Micaul
Zavalla or Peter tinglitic.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Man.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
That's tough one.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
I'm gonna go.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
With you by narrow margin. Yeah, I'm gonna take a
wild guess and just say, MICHAELA.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead, and I don't know.
I've never met him, but I'm gonna say me. Uh So,
here it is, who was bigger, Michael Zavalla or Blank
Celebrity Edition. I'm gonna say who won that? I guess Eric? Yeah, Eric,
probably Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
I don't know. But the matter is there a price? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (24:01):
What's the price?
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I give you a copy of that Raj and Kim
Kardashian video. And I already got that man signed wins
signed by Yeah Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:11):
Changed my mind.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
Twenty fifteen.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I've been thinking a lot about doing stand up again.
At the same time, I'm really busy and I'll have
time to write new material and stuff. Okay, So I
decided to take on a prodigy and uh and and
train him in my ways and the jokes that I
would be using on stage. If I'm not using from
the show, I'll send it with this prodigy. He can
(24:35):
go up on stage and do this. And I found
a guy I used to work with back in the
day when I was a stripper. His name is David Wildman.
We called him the wild Man back in the day.
Remember that, David, hang on a You're still there, David, David,
are you there? Okay? We'll call him back, David.
Speaker 10 (24:54):
Yeah, everybody else see this person? All right, here we go, Yeah,
call him back right now. Something going on with a
six plus no way, all right, I can hear you
now you're there.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
So anyway, we called him wild Man back in the
day because he was a great stripper, because he was
a wild He was a wild man. He took more
girls home than any other guy there, mostly because he
and I were the only straight ones there. So it's crazy.
So David's gonna be my protege. I'm gonna I'm gonna
give him booked in an open mind, and he's gonna
go up on stage and I want to introduce him
to you guys, so that way we can kind of
follow his progress to the night show with Jimmy fallon
(25:36):
oh lofty goals David, Yeah, I mean Jimmy Foullance something special.
So if it was like Letterman or somebody like that,
to be well, that.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Would be a very big goal.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Considering I think Letterman's gonna be doing a webcast now,
he's gonna be doing like a little podcast. But anyway,
so I'm very excited, David. A lot of people have
told you that you're very funny and that you know
you should do stand up and so now you've decided
to pursue this dream.
Speaker 7 (26:01):
Correct, that's all right?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Okay, Well now you've yet to make me laugh, but uh,
you know, I think that you'd be great on stage.
Give us a little bit background about you, Like you're
from Oklahoma.
Speaker 7 (26:15):
Right, Well, actually I'm from aston Via, California, and I've
lived in Oklahoma, you know, seven years, the most recent
place and since i've major tact so yeah, rather than
as an army for six years both on cars before
that and after that, and then you stressed, yeah oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Well you know so now so you've seen a lot
in your life. You've seen a lot of your life.
You're ready to take this material that you've you've gained
over your lifetime and bringing out to people on stage.
Speaker 7 (26:47):
Right, that's right.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Okay, So here's what I think you should do. This
is just me because I think, you know, he's kind
of you're kind of you got that little country draw
and you're kind of you know, you kind of had
that not slow adult whoa no, not that like a
like a no, just like you know, a blue collar
type dude, you know.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Yeah, like, ah shucks.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Right right, So the way I think you should do it,
and you should have these jokes written. Now, I think
you should write jokes. Go up and tell a joke
and then the punchline is something totally out of left
field like that. It's not even that it's really funny,
it's just that it shocks the audience that you would
say something like that. I think that would be your key. Uh.
And then I think you should do really really bad impressions,
(27:31):
just absolutely terrible impressions, like, uh, you know, here's my
impression of Bruce Jenner or Caitlyn Jenner. Hey, there's Caitlyn Jenner.
I'm in my pression of Barack Obama. Hey, it's a
Barack Obama, y'all. I think you should do stuff like
that because I think the awkward pause and silences might
be really really funny.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
What if he did, like, I don't know, good impressions.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
I think that you I think that you could a
bit too much. Yeah, listen, he's not Frank CALLI indo,
but I think that I think you could probably do
a good Bush. Do you think you can do a
good Bush? You got you kind of have like the
you could kind of do the face of Bush. You know,
that's a terror, that's just evil, the evil with George W.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
Bush.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I think you do something like that.
Speaker 7 (28:19):
Yeah, I have to practice along for sure. I'm sure
I can strew that up and make somebody laugh.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
Yeah, why don't you give it a shot? Give us
a little.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
W.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
Yeah, do a W right now.
Speaker 7 (28:33):
Since I've never really played attention, Debbie Gill, let.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Me give you some music. Let me get you in
the in the mood real quick. Ready, all right, here
we go, ladies and gentlemen for President United States. George W. Bush.
I don't know, that might just work. It might just
be awkward enough and just terrible enough that it might work.
But I think you could do the face too.
Speaker 7 (28:58):
Oh yeah, I could definitely.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
I think should set it up to where it's it
sounds like it's gonna be real good impression. And then
that's Bill Clinton. Bobby, he sounds more like Bill Clinton.
All right, do it, Bill Clinton?
Speaker 7 (29:09):
I did not inhale, me and Manic did not have
sex relations.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I think that should be the voice for every impression.
You do the exact same.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
It's weird. It sounds a lot like George W.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Bush. Yeah, I don't know. I think it might work.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Have you ever done any sort of stand up or
comedy of any kind before.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
Voice acting anything?
Speaker 7 (29:31):
No, I haven't. I've just made jokes to work and
that's about it. I haven't seen everybody laugh at least
makes other people wanted to see.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Maybe your your strength of mind also be in work
in the crowd, like people like Jamie Kennedy. He's better
at working the crowd than he is at writing jokes.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
Love you, Jamie, right right.
Speaker 7 (29:51):
I can, I can off versus just yeah, I think
I should.
Speaker 6 (30:00):
You know, people along, do you think you might want
to work on a nuncie a little bit?
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Well?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
I think it's his metro PCs phone. What do you
have metro PCs. I'm just gassic. I don't know. I'm
stereotyping turn my colly like my call for God. Listen.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
We're trying to helphim out with his help him out
like a vocal, Like a vocal. It's too super constructive criticism.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yet, I think it's to super constructive criticism. I think
it's mostly just his phone because it does like this.
David heng On, let me tell you what it sounds like.
Go up there. That's what it sounds like. But I
think it's just your phone.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
It also sounds like you.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, it sounds very windy you outside.
Speaker 7 (30:44):
No, that's long chitch like about every other everybody saying
that he's.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
In front of the window unit. Yeah, it's the phone.
I think you have just a terrible phone. I don't
know anyway. Well, David, listen, we're gonna get we're gonna
do this next few weeks and we're going to put
you on stage.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
I can't wait.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
And we're all going to be there. We'll put you there.
I'll be there, we'll grab the audio. We're gonna play
it for everybody on the show. I think this would
be exciting. Jesse's marketed on her calendar.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
Now this is this is this is like yes, yes, yes,
this is like.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
If Batman retired and he picked a protege.
Speaker 5 (31:17):
This is it.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
So I've retired from stand up. At this point, I'm like, uh,
Dave Chappelle and I've left, right. I just went to
South aust without the money, just without the money. And
then uh, you know, a new Dave Chappelle comes up
and with money without the money as well. So all right, David, Well, I'm.
Speaker 7 (31:32):
Glad I have at least one follower, so.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Yeah, well you got There's how many people in this room? Five?
You've got five followers. Where can we find you, David Facebook?
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Plug yourself?
Speaker 7 (31:43):
Oh tweet?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
D B. Wildman. Okay, all right, all right, guys, all right.
Speaker 8 (31:57):
Jesse Albos has to get killed every every time we're
on the show. She's hilarious and she's yourself. Could you
try speaking or enunciating a little bit better.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
This is the best of m Z
This is the best of m Z playing the greatest
moments in EMZ history since two thousand and six. Two.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Well, Tom, do you want to do a couple of freestyle?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh shoots, Oh.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Let's hear some beats. I don't act, I actually don't trust.
I'm totally not prepared for this. Let me put it actually,
let me actually say something here about that exhibit video.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
For real. I was not freestyling. He was freestyling.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
I was just kind of wrapping some verses that I'd
had in my head that were floating around for years.
So I did that over a beat that I knew
was coming. And then he came in off the cuff olia.
So you know, that's that's ad that that was That
was awesome. Well that's that's that's a great because Eminem
did the same thing. Was DJing as my friend Mike
Simpson from the Dust Brothers. Yeah, and he made the
(00:57):
album Paul's Boutiques BC Boys second album. Produced a lot
of all the beats on there, a lot of them.
I don't know the exact the Dust Brothers and he
he was he made that beat and he dropped that beat,
and then I wrapped over it and an exhibit was laughing,
and then he actually I handed him a mic and
he actually wrapped, which is a you know now, I
you know, I I don't know. I'm going to prove
(01:20):
right now that I cannot freestyle. Okay, okay, here we go.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
I got I got some beats here for you.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Notice.
Speaker 5 (01:26):
Okay, you're making me a little nervous.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
That is what I want to say. You got something
like yeah, it's like this, what.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
All of them? And then he can pick what he
wants to do.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
I've got four for you, man.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
You write down some buzzwords for me, some keywords you
want down?
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Give me write down all your names and the name
of the show.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yo, yo, yo, yo, right down?
Speaker 6 (01:48):
Uh uh something about the poodle to shoot right down?
Live online dot com.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah, empty, live online dot com. He's gonna have a
liquor too, yo Yeah, Live online dot com.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Kind of of some sort, drinking.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Some beers, drinking some coffee.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
All right, all right, I got this one.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah, uh, you can pick.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I got one more.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Okay, did you make all these feats?
Speaker 6 (02:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I just made that last one.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
I like this one.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
This was a little scary, yeah, like scary beata.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Hey, that's good because you're getting ready to do y thing.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Yeah oh yeah, ic be yo yo yo.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
This one's a little too crazy, all right, Yeah, so
you want to do this one?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
That's that's way too much, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
You have a little flower alright you want Did you
like that first one? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
That one?
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Yeah, yeah, that's actually Michael Creation.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah, okay, here we go, Here we go, kick it
MC live online. My name is Cig on the mic,
drinking beers on the mic. Now I'm easy on the mic.
Now I'm greasy on the mike. You talk about this,
you talk about that, But I can drop a fat
wrap at the drop of a hat. Each up like tobacco.
I don't smoke to tobacco. Each you up like a taco.
(03:20):
Each each you up like a taco. I don't smoke tobacco,
but whatever, I just smoke Holy Macrol. My name is TG.
Let me rock this now, pass it over to my man.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
YEO here right now.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
Yew is my name because the girl.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Wo wow wows right wow wow wow wow wow.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
On my left that's right, not right, And the girls
are like, oh my god, you're here.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
He's like, yeah, I mean I'm TG.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Yes, I haven't heard at home.
Speaker 5 (03:50):
That was pretty good at all?
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Like that one.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
That's good to be a pen so I can begin
to ride a new rhyme, start a new trend. Sound
the alarm, I'm dropping a bomb. I'm giving your flashbacks
like the Second Vietnam. Now you want a rhyme like mine,
you gotta sign the contract on the dotted line. I
got your strung out younother hungout TG MC live online
(04:17):
number one out beats raw. That's why I'm sure after
this is doped out, I can dope you more. I
got another jam. Dearvin t Slam. My name is TG.
That's who I am. Rhyme superb. Some say splendid biting
is intended, but I recommended. Let's go back to the system. Everybody,
(04:37):
it's your time to ride the rhythm.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Here we go MC live online to everybody. Have a
chicken sandwich, a chicken Diami. Let me tell you how
many rappers you've had on this show up here and
for the lip.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Like that twist say the building ladies and gentlemen, they.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Go with the plowing. Your people that don't know.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
You have people that don't know at least my jacket open.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Let my fresh threads shows the white boy from it.
That's up to mister big Stuff mc penn in Ottawa, Canada.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
From organized Rhyme. That was his rhyme.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I remembered that I pulled lines that I remember from
when I was a kid out of my head organized rhyme.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Check it out on YouTube. Yes, you have to check
the o R.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I know all the word I did.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
That you can go on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I was in a rap group when I was in
in high school and wa that was twenty years ago,
twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
We're starting the year off of some bad news. Yes,
Bluebell ice Cream has announced that they did find some
more lesteria in their production plants, or at least.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
Once after they just got started back up.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I know. And let's be honest, Bluebell has the best
ice cream in the world. True that Homie Vanilla is amazing.
Now let's talk about Lasteria moo limium. What is listeria.
Listeria is a bacteria that infects humans and other warm
blooded animals through contaminated food. It's a serious disease for
humans and like the worst version of that disease, has
(06:13):
a fatality rate of twenty percent. So it's a very
serious deal. So with that being said, we're gonna play
a game called ice cream Roulette. And you have in
front of you a spinner from the board game Life.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
I love that game, and careful with it because it
will fly.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yes, yeah, and make sure you spin it right now.
There are ten numbers on this spinner. I have here
in my little studio room, ten cups, each with one
scoop of ice cream. Oh, one of these cups contains
Bluebell ice cream, which may have listeria. You may you
have a twenty chance.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
So if it lands on the number, we got to eat.
Speaker 7 (06:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Well this is Yeah, this is especially scary for himie
because he's diabetic, so he could die of listeria and
sugar overdose. So this is amazing. So there's only one cop.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
You keep reminding me of two girls one cup.
Speaker 5 (07:06):
Not what you would think of that the way.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
He said, I love it.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Hey, keep it clean, all right, the smooth head. Now,
when you get your ice cream, don't eat it. We're
gonna eat it all at the end, okay, and then
I will reveal what number cop has the Bluebell ice cream.
You may not get it, all right.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
All right, for all of Latino fans, I know you'll
laughing out as hard as I am right now, those
who had his I've never heard. Let's play this game.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Let's be all right, what Let's get sick, all right,
himI your first again. Now, Jimi's throw me under the
himI has diabetes part Part two, the sequel to diabetes,
even more diabetes, and uh, he is going to either
have the Bluebell ice cream cup or die of blood.
Sugar points number on this right here. Number one.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
You won't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
There's ten. There's ten compossibilities. Yeah, we won't know. But one, two, three, four, five, Yes,
but you start to eat one all.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
You got to spin it theme You.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Played life before, so that's not right. It's just all right.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
But just give it a good spin.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Give a good spin.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
There you go. Six.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
That was kind of like the tight spin the Devils.
Speaker 8 (08:26):
You Devil's number, Chris, it is, Oh my god, you
weren't lying.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
I love those cups.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
I gotta find a cup, thank you.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
That's like our budget has increased because those cups are
very nice.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Michael just got to raise Yeah, MC corporate gave us
all some extra money to.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Trickle down effect. It just doesn't work.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
Yeah, it just stops at Michael for us.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Have mercy on my soul.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
The uh him, Yeah, you don't don't need to get
about an ounce.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, it's all small. I don't want you to die
on the show that may. That'd be really bad.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Every every cup has ice creaming it.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Every cup has ice cream. Oh, just a spoonful, just
a spoonful of the steria sugar. Okay, so you should
be good. You might get some poisoning and throw up
and stuff, but you'll you'll be fine.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
My cup then, oh my god, No, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I don't know which one it is. Chris, go ahead
and spin the wheel, right, let's do this. Come on, now,
what is that?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
It landed on number two and it malfunction.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Malfunction. It got so this life life spinner. Oh there
we go?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Oh no, man, there, all right, let me spin my ready?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Oh all right, you got to spin again? Is gone?
You have?
Speaker 4 (09:53):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Ten, lucky number ten.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Come on.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
I don't know what you're worried about, y'all.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Know, he's just I'm actually looking forward to its coming
a little hungry right now.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
So, oh it's brown, Well, you know, he's gonna put
a cover I get right, all right, No I don't.
It's already been poured, Bobby Man, So what Eric, go
ahead and spend.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
My life chocolate ice cream? I like a Rocky Road
ice cream. While we're on the you know subject like six?
Oh my god again?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Ten? Oh?
Speaker 5 (10:33):
Where Sarah?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Where Sarah pants?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yo?
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I would do the same thing. I like sausa so much.
When I spilled it all myself, I was.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Like, oh my god, it's like leaking.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Is it vanilla?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
That's not a good sign. If it's leaking, it's like
it's like a leakage swamp.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
Swam ass.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
All right, Bobby, final one booty juice?
Speaker 5 (11:00):
What is.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Seven? Wow? You didn't get it? Six?
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Come on now, of all people, you would think I
would be the one to get to set.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
A resident a.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
Rocky Road?
Speaker 4 (11:13):
Am I the only one with the with the blue belt?
Homemade vanilla? I love Rocky Brother chocolate.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
No, I got this one. This is Ben and Jerry's
over here, but it got mint.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
I like mint too.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
All right, already, we're gonna eat this now and then
I will reveal which one the osteria? No? No, I
just grab whatever whatever's left. All right ready, I'll see
with you that if we die, we die together.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Steria tastes good.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
This is the Ben and Jerry's uh brownie budge something
like that.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
This is this is blue belt right here.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
This tastes like the pudding that they used to sell
at Windy in the salad.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Barsimi Jimi does have the osteria blue belt number six.
Really yeah, so you're gonna die either osteria or or
diabetes part two, so long as long as you'll help
to bury me.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
It's okay, that's crazy.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
What do you want to look like in your box?
There's like a big night in here.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
That's my specialty. She wants to see.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
And uh, it's melting in my mouth though it taste
you want me?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
What do you want me to tell your kids after
you pass of lasterio or diabetes number two?
Speaker 3 (12:22):
He was a real ass beach and a pig as
World two nineteen.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
We're gonna play a game, and the game is called
let me see now that we have the effects working properly.
Speaker 6 (12:36):
If I get this, U uh see, I forgot that so.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Much.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
I guess.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Let's redo that whole thing too much. Let's do that
redo that whole thing.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
You wanted to redo it. Yeah, never have from Let's
play a game. Hang on, now I can't get this
board to work. I gotta now all right, here we go.
So this is the game where we try to figure
out who's bigger Michael, Zavala or Blanka and uh today
(13:16):
we're doing, uh a celebrity edition. So it's a guess
who's bigger Michael or this celebrity?
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Are you ready? Okay, So we.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Go ahead and just guess all celebrities because you're not
as big as any of them.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
No, there's some there's someone bigger than okay, and they're
on those these names. Uh, so I'm gonna get I'm
gonna give you a name, and then you tell me
who's bigger me. And now by bigger, we name the
show guess who's bigger, but we really mean just height wise.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Okay, Okay, that just changed my whole perspective. Yeah, right,
Like you're not bigger than anyone. Like if I said
Michael or ray J, who's bigger? Now height wise, I
might be bigger, but you know I did too. That
was the most impressive part. Michael was talking about giving
himself a tattoo on his thigh and millimeters.
Speaker 5 (13:59):
God, he really was.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
All right, let me get to the right board here.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
That's your word? All right?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
So first name, I'm gonna give you a name. You
tell me who you think is bigger. First First, the
audience like, man, this disaster is great. First name, speaking
of Stranger Things, Gayton Matteazzo think is his name? He
plays Dustin on Stranger Things. Who's bigger, Michau Zavalla or
Dustin Man? Uh?
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I'm out?
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I remember Dustin is a teenager?
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Yes he is.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
I'm a full grown man, but you're the size of
a teenager, right, I'm going with him. I think he
grew a little in the before this new series. All right,
I'm gonna say Michael is bigger.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Eric is correct, I am bigger than Gaydon according to
who WHI stood side by side, like literally a few
months ago, right before his puberty. He's just before he yeah, exactly,
he's a preteen. He's at yet right now, he's teen.
He's like fifteen or sixteen. Yeah. You know what's weird
is I saw Caleb promoting the show. Who's is that
his name? Or is it Caleb in the show? I
(15:09):
don't know his real name is anyway, he has a
go tee and I'm like, you're not supposed to have
a go to you should.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Have a go tee.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Oh oh yeah, you're like twelve. That was what did
we watched that?
Speaker 5 (15:18):
They were on a hot one Hot one?
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and uh and I'm like, you're not
supposed to have this, right, you're too young.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
That was freaky.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
And then we looked him up and he's like seventeen
or eighteen, like old. Next name Michael Zavalla or Marina
Curtis from Star Trek The Next Generation. Guess who's bigger.
And by the way, we have tested this out, we
have seen who's bigger.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I'm going with her also on this one.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Do you remember Eric? Eric was there. I have stood
next to Marina Certis at least five times.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
I can't remember, but I'm gonna have to say.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Her. Yeah, you guys are both wrong. Michaul Zavalla is big,
too short.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
I'm gonna need to see some evidence.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I'm gonna see her a couple weeks.
Speaker 9 (16:11):
I'll stay ye buyer, all right, you get a picture now,
I'll just not you, Okay, when you see her next
week and you tell her to please do you want
to go with me.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
Where are you going the convention?
Speaker 7 (16:20):
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, you can start Trek convention. Just go, It'll be
real quick. You just go for one day.
Speaker 9 (16:25):
We'll talk about off there, all right, but tell her
if you see her. But when you see her, tell
her to get on the new Star Trek show the card.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Oh, we'll talk about that here a little bit.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I got news for you on that. Oh all right,
So next name, Guess who's bigger?
Speaker 5 (16:44):
I love that. I'm glad we have so much space.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
So right here, our new studio has a big Uh
it really is some what do you call it? Rafters?
Is that what it's called.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Where people sit. I don't like at a football stadium
of the high school. Bleachers bleachers, Yeah, we have bleachers
in here.
Speaker 5 (17:01):
I have a lot of room.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Man.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
I'm pretty sure this table we're sitting at is as
big as the other room was.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Yes, pretty close to the least. Guess who's bigger? Michael
Zavalla or Tom Green?
Speaker 5 (17:12):
Tom Green?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Heyah showing with him too?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
That's uso. We have a picture of him floating around
studio here somewhere. You're not in it though. Wait, no,
I'm running in his armpit. So the correct answer, I forget.
The correct answer is Tom Green. That's correct.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
I'm so mad about that that I missed that whole interview.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
Yeah, you you were very upset.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I remember that, Yeah, because you emailed me afterwards and like,
why do anybody tell me?
Speaker 5 (17:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:35):
But anyway he.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Was, He was all right, No, I like, Tom, do
you paint lesbians on your car?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
No, he's very he's just First off, Tom and I
are exactly alike off air. That sounds we don't want
to talk to anybody. We're very awkward. He just said
he didn't want to talk to anybody off air. We
just hate life. We just want to go back here.
As far as he does, well, you do it because
you have a necessity if I didn't have to do it.
We spent like twenty minutes talking to security guard. Yes,
(18:03):
outside of the damn door, and it's like a hundred degrees.
He's telling the truth, Like, what the where the hell
did you go? We were talking about marital problems? Oh,
oh yeah, you can't relate that. Yeah. Oh man, who's bigger?
Michael Zaballa or Kevin Hart.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Oh, I'll guess you this.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
You yeah, Michael, You're absolutely correct, and that is there
is a picture floating around somewhere.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
I don't think it's here of the studio. Probably twice
as wide as you now though.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Oh he's yeah, yeah, yeah, No, he's definitely bigger, but
he's tall.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
I'm taller, he's wider. He's bigger in his career, but
you got him in height. What do you think Michael's
on Kevin Hart's level? No, I think so. I'm just
I don't think so. I thought that was the point
of this game originally. That's why I picked all celebrities first.
But at least you got hired on him. I feel
like I'm funnier than Kevin Hart. I couldn't tell.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Yeah, yeah, you definitely are. You know why because I
don't yell up. I don't yell my jokes to you.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 9 (18:59):
You're definitely funnier than Kevin Hart, right, because I don't
really like Kevin Hart.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I'm not a big Kevin Hart comedy fan. I like
Kevin harton movies, watching him stand up, not that funny.
I mean he's funny, don't get me wrong. So he
deserves everything he's got. What you're saying I think I'm funnier.
You don't like his writing, you like people writing for him?
Oh that's what it sounds like if you like him
in movie. Oh yea yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
There's a lot of people like that. Yeah, there's there's
(19:24):
a lot of people. I respect his Canadians and I
like them either in like I may not like their
stand up or I may like their stand up and
not like anything else. It's you know, it just depends.
But I do like Kevin. Kevin was very nice to
me when we hung out. He offered me a red
Bull free of charge.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
It was great. All right, here we go.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Guess who's bigger, Michael Zavalla or Kim Kardashian. Definitely you,
Kim Kardashan spidern on this one. Oh, like, whe where
are get your information? Because I know there's no pictures
around here of you and her? Kim k is bigger.
I've never met Kim, but but I have. I'm judging
(20:10):
by the size of ray J. I'm using Raj as scale.
Then huh, No.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
I got I'm going opposite Harry. I'm going with you
this time.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yes, yeah, you are correct. I am I am bigger
than Kim kardash Yeah. Now I want to see Kim
card like five to two. If you see her hands,
I better her hands are massive, because you see that
RAYJ video. Her hands better be massive. Otherwise we just
all need to kill ourselves.
Speaker 9 (20:37):
You're probably right because I've seen her in photos with
high heels on.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
Yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I didn't think well and then and you got to think, like,
so who's the older sister Chloe or the younger sister Chloe.
Chloe is the younger one. She's the bigger one. Yeah,
OJ's daughter. Uh, with heels, like Kim comes and Chloe's
only like five nine, which is still taller than me.
But you know, but Kim comes up to like her
waist even with heels. So Kim's very short. But I
(21:06):
hope she has big hands. We all need to pray
she has big hands. You want her to have small hands?
Speaker 5 (21:13):
No?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
I want no, Okay, it's a whole thing. It's like
I said, if you're using re j as scale, you
want her hands to be huge. No wait, right, reverse
what I said. You would have to be small, very
very small. Her hands are used, and that's a bad thing.
All right, this one. This one has also been tested
(21:34):
in real life. Uh, Felix Cela. I think that's how
you say his name, and I'll I'll tell you what
he's from. He's from the original Adams Family. He was
cousin It. Oh. He's also been in a lot of
other movies, but Cousin is probably.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
His most famous role.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Was very small. Yeah, i'll go with you too. Yeah,
you're a correct. Felix is about three foot four something
like that. Yeah, that's He's such a nice guy though.
I end up every time I see him, he and
I end up talking for like an hour just about.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
Whatever, well, height.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
How short, how short people live in this world, and
how how hard it is for us and things like that. No,
we talk about like the industry, and he complains to
me about how you didn't get paid enough on certain things.
And I mean, I gotta give it to him. This
guy does like twenty conventions a year and just still rolling.
He's probably in his eighties now. Wow, but boys, he's
a great We never had him on the show, but
(22:30):
we need to I enjoy so yeah, I know, all right,
here we go. Who is bigger? Michael Zavalla or McCaulay Culkin.
Oh damn, I've seen pictures of this. Yeah, I'm going
with him too. That is a trick question because we're
both the same heights. What Yeah, we're mccaullay colchan and
(22:50):
I are literally the same person.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Whatever picture I saw, you were much shorter than him.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
He was. He was behind me though, it was it
was a picture from what was going on there the
other he is walking away from me.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
He was scared of him.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, and I was looking longingly at him, and he
was talking to Moving Unit, who was behind us and
the band Yeah, whoa they opened for him. Moving Units
had been on the show. Really, Yeah, they're really great.
I used to play their stuff at VIC all the time.
I haven't since then. Yeah, they're great. They've been on
the show. Then. They tried to hit on Jesse one time.
(23:24):
I think they did.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
I think they did.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, they started hitting her up. Who is bigger, Micaul
Zavalla or Peter tinglitic.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Man.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
That's tough one.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
I'm gonna go.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
With you by narrow margin. Yeah, I'm gonna take a
wild guess and just say, MICHAELA.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead, and I don't know.
I've never met him, but I'm gonna say me. Uh So,
here it is, who was bigger, Michael Zavalla or Blank
Celebrity Edition. I'm gonna say who won that? I guess Eric? Yeah, Eric,
probably Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
I don't know. But the matter is there a price? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (24:01):
What's the price?
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I give you a copy of that Raj and Kim
Kardashian video. And I already got that man signed wins
signed by Yeah Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:11):
Changed my mind.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
Twenty fifteen.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I've been thinking a lot about doing stand up again.
At the same time, I'm really busy and I'll have
time to write new material and stuff. Okay, So I
decided to take on a prodigy and uh and and
train him in my ways and the jokes that I
would be using on stage. If I'm not using from
the show, I'll send it with this prodigy. He can
(24:35):
go up on stage and do this. And I found
a guy I used to work with back in the
day when I was a stripper. His name is David Wildman.
We called him the wild Man back in the day.
Remember that, David, hang on a You're still there, David, David,
are you there? Okay? We'll call him back, David.
Speaker 10 (24:54):
Yeah, everybody else see this person? All right, here we go, Yeah,
call him back right now. Something going on with a
six plus no way, all right, I can hear you
now you're there.
Speaker 5 (25:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
So anyway, we called him wild Man back in the
day because he was a great stripper, because he was
a wild He was a wild man. He took more
girls home than any other guy there, mostly because he
and I were the only straight ones there. So it's crazy.
So David's gonna be my protege. I'm gonna I'm gonna
give him booked in an open mind, and he's gonna
go up on stage and I want to introduce him
to you guys, so that way we can kind of
follow his progress to the night show with Jimmy fallon
(25:36):
oh lofty goals David, Yeah, I mean Jimmy Foullance something special.
So if it was like Letterman or somebody like that,
to be well, that.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Would be a very big goal.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Considering I think Letterman's gonna be doing a webcast now,
he's gonna be doing like a little podcast. But anyway,
so I'm very excited, David. A lot of people have
told you that you're very funny and that you know
you should do stand up and so now you've decided
to pursue this dream.
Speaker 7 (26:01):
Correct, that's all right?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Okay, Well now you've yet to make me laugh, but uh,
you know, I think that you'd be great on stage.
Give us a little bit background about you, Like you're
from Oklahoma.
Speaker 7 (26:15):
Right, Well, actually I'm from aston Via, California, and I've
lived in Oklahoma, you know, seven years, the most recent
place and since i've major tact so yeah, rather than
as an army for six years both on cars before
that and after that, and then you stressed, yeah oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Well you know so now so you've seen a lot
in your life. You've seen a lot of your life.
You're ready to take this material that you've you've gained
over your lifetime and bringing out to people on stage.
Speaker 7 (26:47):
Right, that's right.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Okay, So here's what I think you should do. This
is just me because I think, you know, he's kind
of you're kind of you got that little country draw
and you're kind of you know, you kind of had
that not slow adult whoa no, not that like a
like a no, just like you know, a blue collar
type dude, you know.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Yeah, like, ah shucks.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Right right, So the way I think you should do it,
and you should have these jokes written. Now, I think
you should write jokes. Go up and tell a joke
and then the punchline is something totally out of left
field like that. It's not even that it's really funny,
it's just that it shocks the audience that you would
say something like that. I think that would be your key. Uh.
And then I think you should do really really bad impressions,
(27:31):
just absolutely terrible impressions, like, uh, you know, here's my
impression of Bruce Jenner or Caitlyn Jenner. Hey, there's Caitlyn Jenner.
I'm in my pression of Barack Obama. Hey, it's a
Barack Obama, y'all. I think you should do stuff like
that because I think the awkward pause and silences might
be really really funny.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
What if he did, like, I don't know, good impressions.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
I think that you I think that you could a
bit too much. Yeah, listen, he's not Frank CALLI indo,
but I think that I think you could probably do
a good Bush. Do you think you can do a
good Bush? You got you kind of have like the
you could kind of do the face of Bush. You know,
that's a terror, that's just evil, the evil with George W.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
Bush.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I think you do something like that.
Speaker 7 (28:19):
Yeah, I have to practice along for sure. I'm sure
I can strew that up and make somebody laugh.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
Yeah, why don't you give it a shot? Give us
a little.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
W.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
Yeah, do a W right now.
Speaker 7 (28:33):
Since I've never really played attention, Debbie Gill, let.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Me give you some music. Let me get you in
the in the mood real quick. Ready, all right, here
we go, ladies and gentlemen for President United States. George W. Bush.
I don't know, that might just work. It might just
be awkward enough and just terrible enough that it might work.
But I think you could do the face too.
Speaker 7 (28:58):
Oh yeah, I could definitely.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
I think should set it up to where it's it
sounds like it's gonna be real good impression. And then
that's Bill Clinton. Bobby, he sounds more like Bill Clinton.
All right, do it, Bill Clinton?
Speaker 7 (29:09):
I did not inhale, me and Manic did not have
sex relations.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I think that should be the voice for every impression.
You do the exact same.
Speaker 5 (29:20):
It's weird. It sounds a lot like George W.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Bush. Yeah, I don't know. I think it might work.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Have you ever done any sort of stand up or
comedy of any kind before.
Speaker 5 (29:29):
Voice acting anything?
Speaker 7 (29:31):
No, I haven't. I've just made jokes to work and
that's about it. I haven't seen everybody laugh at least
makes other people wanted to see.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Maybe your your strength of mind also be in work
in the crowd, like people like Jamie Kennedy. He's better
at working the crowd than he is at writing jokes.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
Love you, Jamie, right right.
Speaker 7 (29:51):
I can, I can off versus just yeah, I think
I should.
Speaker 6 (30:00):
You know, people along, do you think you might want
to work on a nuncie a little bit?
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Well?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
I think it's his metro PCs phone. What do you
have metro PCs. I'm just gassic. I don't know. I'm
stereotyping turn my colly like my call for God. Listen.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
We're trying to helphim out with his help him out
like a vocal, Like a vocal. It's too super constructive criticism.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yet, I think it's to super constructive criticism. I think
it's mostly just his phone because it does like this.
David heng On, let me tell you what it sounds like.
Go up there. That's what it sounds like. But I
think it's just your phone.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
It also sounds like you.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, it sounds very windy you outside.
Speaker 7 (30:44):
No, that's long chitch like about every other everybody saying
that he's.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
In front of the window unit. Yeah, it's the phone.
I think you have just a terrible phone. I don't
know anyway. Well, David, listen, we're gonna get we're gonna
do this next few weeks and we're going to put
you on stage.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
I can't wait.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
And we're all going to be there. We'll put you there.
I'll be there, we'll grab the audio. We're gonna play
it for everybody on the show. I think this would
be exciting. Jesse's marketed on her calendar.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
Now this is this is this is like yes, yes, yes,
this is like.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
If Batman retired and he picked a protege.
Speaker 5 (31:17):
This is it.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
So I've retired from stand up. At this point, I'm like, uh,
Dave Chappelle and I've left, right. I just went to
South aust without the money, just without the money. And
then uh, you know, a new Dave Chappelle comes up
and with money without the money as well. So all right, David, Well, I'm.
Speaker 7 (31:32):
Glad I have at least one follower, so.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Yeah, well you got There's how many people in this room? Five?
You've got five followers. Where can we find you, David Facebook?
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Plug yourself?
Speaker 7 (31:43):
Oh tweet?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
D B. Wildman. Okay, all right, all right, guys, all right.
Speaker 8 (31:57):
Jesse Albos has to get killed every every time we're
on the show. She's hilarious and she's yourself. Could you
try speaking or enunciating a little bit better.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
This is the best of m Z
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