30 - No Good Deed

A ghost who cleans up after you isn’t so bad. But one that goes through your wife’s underwear, that’s a step too far...

If your home is haunted, are you ever truly alone? If you share your living space with a spirit, what happens to your privacy? What can ghosts see? Supernatural stories often focus on the noises, the shocks, the scares. But what is it really like to live with something paranormal? What does it do to your senses, knowing that you’re living with something unexplained, that you can’t understand or predict. Can you ever really feel at home there? Can you ever truly feel safe?

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Tags: Ghost Story, Weird, Modern Horror, Modern Ghost Story, Social Media Horror, Friendly ghost, London Horror, London Ghost Story.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
The story you're about to hear wastold to me in the strictest of confidence.
Certain names, dates, and locationshave been changed to protect that confidence.
Events that feature in this story maybe part of the public record.
If you believe you recognize any ofthe people, places, or events that
appear in this story, ask younot to reveal any information publicly out of
respect for the subject's right to remainanonymous. My name is David Paul Nixon,

(00:45):
and you're listening to the New GhostStories podcast where we delve into the
New ghost Stories archive to hear witnessaccounts of the supernatural stories that could be
delusions, lives, fantasies, orperhaps even the real thing. Just don't
make your mind up until you've listened. When I sit down to write the

(01:10):
introductions to these podcasts, I oftenfind myself writing something along the lines of
this is a particularly strange case,or this is a very dark case,
or this case is more unsettling thanusual. And to some extent, it's
always true, these are stories ofthe supernatural. Every one of these cases

(01:34):
is strange and unique in its ownway. There's always some particular feature that
makes my hair stand on end orstops me in my tracks. These stories
are not normal stories. That said, I do have a feel the needs
from it. Today's episode really isa bit different than usual, and that's

(01:57):
worth saying because sometimes new listen tothe podcast will listen to the most recent
episode first. This case is moreof a slow burner and a bit longer
than the average episode, so itmight not be the best place to start
the podcast. If you're interested inmore immediate scares and suspense, I recommend
heading back to the start of theseason, or perhaps even earlier into the

(02:21):
show's timeline. That's not to saythat you won't find this episode rewarding once
you delve into it. One ofthe things we've talked about before on this
podcast is about how ghost stories areas much about the living as they are
about the dead. They're about ourfears and our mortality, of course,
but also about guilt, about injustice, and in this case, about paranoia.

(02:47):
This is a story that, andthis might sound strange to say,
both is and isn't about ghosts.It's how the prospect of a haunting brings
other issues to the four. Someof those issues are personal to the subject,
others say things about the world welive in today they've had to put

(03:08):
an adjective to this one. I'dsay it was perhaps the most curious of
all the New Ghost Stories cases sofar. I don't think I want to
say much more about it than that. Alas always leave the final judgment to
you. This is New Ghost Storiescase number three hundred and fifty six,

(03:29):
and it's called No Good Deed,and you can hear it in the full
uninterrupted after these messages, if allwe start, I want to ask a
quick favor. If you've been enjoyingthe podcast, I'd really appreciate it if
you could give the show a review. It really helps people to find the
show and for me to share itwith new listeners. You can review the

(03:52):
show on Apple Podcasts or on theSpotify mobile app. If you go to
the show page and tap the threedot button. It really does make a
huge difference. Thank you, andnow on with the story. Thanks for
cleaning the place up, love,she said, I leapt up from the
sofa. What's that? Thanks forcleaning the place up. It was in

(04:14):
a real state this morning. Itwasn't me, I said. I only
got home an hour before you,but enough time to start dinner without me.
I'd hope the bottle of Bollinger mighthave earned me some brownie points,
but apparently not. But if itwasn't you, who was it? I
don't know, I said, takinga sip. That's a really good question.

(04:34):
You weren't back at all during theday, were you. I was
at the shoote. She joined meon the sofa. You don't think it
was one of the builders, doyou? I wouldn't have thought so.
They're only good at making a mess. I'm all the thought over for a
moment, unless they're trying to hidesomething. Chelsea gave me her your so

(04:56):
paranoid look. Have you checked tosee if anything is sing? I asked,
It's more likely to be Nita.She was here to let them in
this morning. Nita is Chelsea's chiefdoer of things. In a sense,
it is her job to clean upafter her. It seemed a stretch for
her to take on domestic chores.It was one thing to do the washing

(05:17):
up, but even the floor wassparkling. There was all that was said
about it. That night, Chelseastarted to tell me about the Smoothie vlogs
she'd been recording. She was happyto accept a random act of kindness and
to leave it at that. Iwas more suspicious. I'm insecurity, and
although this was a mundane mystery asmysteries go, it still sat uneasily with

(05:41):
me. You should really know whois coming in and out of your home
and what they're doing. It playeda bit on my mind. I was
working up early that next morning.By the builder's arriving, I shouldn't really
complain. They're doing what they're paidfor, but a lion would have been
appreciated. I brushed my teeth andwent downstairs. I saw Nita standing in

(06:03):
the hall. Just as I wasabout to speak to her, a loud
drill started thundering from the basement,so we had to go outside, with
me still in my dressing gown andslippers. I was just asking how they
were doing in there. They seempretty good at taking things down, she
answered. Only time will tell ifthey're any good at putting them back up

(06:25):
again. I wanted to ask ifyou did us a favor yesterday. Our
kitchen was all spick and span whenwe got home. Somebody, out of
the goodness of their heart, gavethe place a good clean and tidy,
wasn't me. I'm sorry to say, I was only here a few minutes
yesterday to let them in. It'svery strange, A nice strange thing,

(06:46):
as strange things go. Do youthink the builders might have done it?
They don't strike me as a tidybunch. Well, there has to be
someone, and they're the only onescoming in and out of the house.
Makes me worried they've done something tryingto cover it up. Is anything missing?
Nita has her head screwed on,not that I can tell. I
could ask them. Probably worth itgo. I just want to know who

(07:10):
and why the drilling sound stopped suddenly. There followed a number of raised voices
and accidents and languages I couldn't comprehend. Nita rolled her eyes. I'll check
in with them. I would appreciateit. As she stepped inside, I
spotted a neighbor passed through their frontgate morning. I said. They gave

(07:31):
me a dirty look and did notreturn the greeting. They all think I'm
building a mega basement under the house. Some of them actually complain to the
counsel about us. Hardly the mostpleasant welcome to the neighborhood. I had
to show some inspect to the plansand convince them that we weren't going to
add any new levels. We're justredeveloping the space without expending it much.

(07:55):
We are lowering the floor, butthat's not the same thing. We're converting
it into a mixed media space forChelsea, so she won't need to keep
renting studios or show homes. Theplan is for it to be one half
kitchen, one half yoga studio,with movable panels that can be slid around
so she can shoot against different backdropsif she wants to. It's all very

(08:16):
well designed. It would have tobe for the money worth spending on it.
The drilling started again. Perhaps we'dbe more popular if you weren't doing
this first thing in the morning andon a Saturday. I could ask them
to start later, although that wouldimpact the schedule. It would need consideration.
I went upstairs for my shower.While I was shaving, I noticed

(08:39):
the bathroom was looking pretty spotless too. A closer inspection proved I was not
imagining it. There was not aspeck of lime scale, a single watermark,
or dried flake of toothpaste to befound. The bathroom was in a
better state even than the kitchen.Even our towels had been carefully arranged in
the closet. The most bizarre thing. Why would someone clean our bathroom for

(09:03):
us and do such a good jobof it. I was totally flummixed.
I was alone most of the day. Chelsea and Nita were off at some
health food event. I should havebeen busy. My company was preparing to
make a bid for the security contractof an auction house that was moving premises.
This was an opportunity for us totrial our new integrated approach. We'd

(09:26):
purchased a data an it company lastyear. We were trying to offer the
complete package, not just in personsecurity for the doors and the vaults and
the men at the front debt,but anti virus, facial recognition database is
tracking, a really wide ranging packageof security measures. It was an important
pitch, but I couldn't keep mymind on it. If it wasn't me

(09:50):
or Chelsea or Nita and the buildersdidn't know anything about it, then who
could it be? And why ifsomeone was in the house without our permission,
why would they clean of all things? The irony wasn't lost on me,
working in security and yet wondering ifsomeone was sneaking into my home with
a feather duster and some toilet duck. Chelsea boasts a large number of followers

(10:16):
on Instagram and Twitter and other things. Could someone have recognized her locally and
were they strange enough to get somekind of kick out of cleaning up after
her? There are many peculiar peoplein this world, and she shares so
much with complete strangers. I putmy security hat on. I made a
fresh inspection of the property, checkinglocks and so forth. Windows on the

(10:39):
bottom floor were all bolted shut,though not locked, an improvement we should
make. It would be too conspicuousto break in from the front garden because
of the pedestrian traffic. From theback. You could only get to the
garden by scaling over the fences ofthe neighbor's gardens. It was possible,
but also unlikely. The lock theback door wasn't exactly formidable, but adequate,

(11:03):
and there were no signs of forcedentry. The obvious point of weakness
was the front door. Workmen werecoming in and out of the house.
It wouldn't have been difficult for someoneto sneak in while they weren't looking,
and that assumes the workmen were eventaking care to lock it behind them.
I felt a bit foolish. Wecould have easily been robbed. I managed

(11:24):
to have a conversation with the chapwho seemed to be in charge, and
reminded him of the need to ensurethe door was locked. I would ask
Chelsea to double check to see ifanything was missing. It's easy to be
complacent in what looks like a niceneighborhood, but you never know who's about.
The plan for the evening was tomeet Chelsea at our new local.

(11:45):
Our friends Ash and Linda were coming, and there'd be Archie, the annoying
botanist who fawns over Chelsea. Hehangs on her every word in the forlorn
hope he may someday get into herknickers. I don't know why I thought
Chelsea wouldn't want to talk about ourmysterious cleaner. I was at the bar
and I came back an Archie whogets shrill after two or three blurts out.

(12:07):
Ah, Chelsea was just telling usabout your phantom maid. I beg
your pardon, your mystery cleaner.Oh that, I said, glaring at
Chelsea. I know that look.She said, I've shared too much.
She'd had a good few slugs ofwine herself, that's the look he gives
me when I mentioned him on Twitter. Don't you want to be famous?

(12:31):
Graham said, Linda, not especially. We have an agreement, Chelsea began.
I'm not allowed to mention him withouthis permission, and I never give
his last name, and I can'tshow our house in any of my photos.
There's nothing wrong with a little privacy, I said. He's worried people
are going to find out about hismodel car collection. Chelsea replied, Archie

(12:54):
gafod idiotically. He was sitting ona stool within reach was quite prepared to
push him off. What's this abouta mystery cleaner, asked as I explained
the situation to them, and Ashreplied, well, that sounds all right.
I wouldn't mind coming home and findingeverything nice and clean. Sometimes you

(13:15):
get that already, hissed Linda.Yeah, but they're cleaner is not making
a big song and dance about it. Ash dodged Linda's sharp elbow. Graham
thinks it's a cleaner who doesn't knowwe've moved in and that the old owners
have gone. This was my newtheory makes more sense than anything else I
can come up with. Either theold owners didn't cancel their services, or

(13:39):
a mistake was made and someone wassent over by mistake. They must either
have a key because there's no signof a break in, or they just
walked in because the builders weren't payingattention. Either that or it's a ghost,
said Archie Chelsea mader Oo. Soundcould be? Could be? She

(14:00):
said, jokingly, Have you everheard that old legend about the ghost who
cleaned out the stables? Go onmy side, knowing he'd carry on anyway.
It's about a woman who looks afterhorses. Her husband dies and she
starts struggling for money. She getsworried she'll have to give the horses up
because she doesn't have the time ormoney to care for them. Then one

(14:22):
day she comes home and finds thestables have been mucked out, and the
straw's been changed and the troughs arefull up. She doesn't know how or
why. She asks around. Noone she knows has been up to the
house. No one owns up tobeing the one, but it keeps on
happening. Time after time. Shecomes home and finds the stables clean and

(14:45):
the horse is fed, So shedecides to write a letter. She wants
the person to know whoever it is, how much she appreciates all their help,
and if there's absolutely anything she cando to pay them. She puts
the letter in an envelope and decidesto put in some money forty quid or
something, just as a token ofthanks. Then she leaves the envelope by

(15:07):
the stable door. That evening,when she gets home, she walks up
to the stable door and sees hernotes and the money torn into shreds and
scattered on the path. She goesinside and finds the horses have been slaughtered.
They've been cut open, with alltheir blood and guts thrown up the
walls and across the hay. It'san equestrian blood bath. Chelsea grimaced.

(15:31):
Linda wasn't much impressed either, thoughArchie seemed very pleased with himself. No
one ever finds out what happened orwho did it, and no criminal is
ever caught. They do not tryto thank your helper, then, said
Ash, I don't have any pets, and I said, although the neighbors
have a cat, I could warnthem. I thought the neighbors hated you,

(15:56):
said Linda, yes, I said, the cat's fault. Though,
aren't you supposed to be in security. Graham said, Archie, how come
they're strangers going into your house?So easy? Just to push him off.
Me and Chelsea walked home just beforelast orders. Though she had seemed

(16:17):
in good spirits, I could tellshe was somewhat unnerved. We don't have
anything to worry about, do wethat we're going to come home to blood
dripping down the walls or something.No, but this is quite a big
deal when you think about it.Well, yes kind of, I said.

(16:37):
I'm concerned that someone has been ableto get into our house, but
if they've only cleaned up the kitchenand the bathroom, we haven't exactly been
badly off out of it. Wewalked on a little further. You don't
think it could be a ghost comeoff it? You never know. Being
a wellness influencer, Chelsea spends anawful lot of time talking about a whole

(17:00):
range of New Age nonsense. Sheacts like these things are just a bit
of fun, but I suspect that'smore for my benefit. If you watch
her videos, she seems very enthusiasticabout or A readings and energy rocks and
other twaddle. I would hope thedead of better things to do than organize

(17:22):
our bathroom towels. Doesn't bode wellfor the afterlife. You laugh, but
you can't explain it, can you. I've my suspicions. I've said what
they are. I just hope it'ssome mistake and nothing bad happens. Archie's
such an idiot. I don't knowwhy you put up with him. Shush.
Archie's a sweetheart. He'd get onif you just gave him a chance.

(17:47):
Chelsea likes everyone, but then everyonelikes Chelsea. She's charming and beautiful.
Everyone wants to be her friend.We arrived home just before midnight.
Chelsea had popped to the bathroom andI was pouring us a nightcap. When
I went for the glasses, Isaw that the dishes had all been done.
I'd made a salad nye sUAS fordinner and had not had time to

(18:10):
clean up. Now everything had beenwashed, dried, and put away.
By the time Chelsea had returned tothe kitchen, I was running about the
house, re examining all the windowsand doors. The door was locked when
we came in, wasn't it,I asked her? Of course it was.
What's the matter? I explained,and she started laughing I'm sorry,

(18:32):
she said, it's just seeing yourun around in a panic because someone's done
the dishes. But only a minuteago you were saying how worried you were.
I know, I know, youjust look so I don't know.
It's mad, isn't it. Iwas wound up, but she was right.

(18:52):
No sane person would break in toclean our house for us, and
no cleaning service would ever turn upon Saturday night. I gave this some
thought. I'm going to try something. I went to the kitchen cupboards and
took out a couple of glasses anda few ramikins. I placed the glasses
on the table, the ramikins onthe side. I took a knife from

(19:17):
the rack placed it on the choppingboard. What are you doing and running
a test? I said. Iopened up the bin and took out a
few rappers. Nothing that would reallyleave a mess, just a few things
to tidy up. I want tosee what happens. Let's see how fast
and on the ball our cleaning phantomsare. You want to stay up and

(19:38):
watch. No, I'm going tobed. Let's see where we are in
the morning. Hopefully we don't getmurdered in our sleep. We did live
to fight another morning. I creptdownstairs a little after eight thirty am,
and wouldn't you know it, ithad all been tidied up, and did
a check of all the locks.Again, no one could have entered the

(20:00):
house. It's unbelievable, said Chelsea. She seemed quite excited. Now you're
not going to tell your followers,are you. I'd get so many shares
it would go totally viral, shesmiled at me. But I won't promise.
I don't want people to think I'vegone crazy. The video of her

(20:21):
undergoing crystal therapy suddenly came to mind. I decided I needed a coffee.
I was out of ideas. Thiswas just too bizarre. I suppose I
could change the locks, what foror because? Because there's no such thing
as ghosts? But who did this? Then? I need to think,
I said, sitting down by thekitchen table. Short of this being some

(20:45):
elaborate, practical joke, I reallyhad no idea. You're looking at this
the wrong way. We don't haveto get a cleaner now. Let's just
call this a weird stroke of luck. Weirds the word what harms it doing?
Yesterday? You were worried about deadhorses. Archie doesn't know what he's
talking about. And if we justleave it alone, this is a real

(21:10):
blessing. Something in this house likesus so much it wants to help us
out. That's kind of amazing,isn't it. I didn't know what even
to say about that. Be grumpyif you want to. It's Sunday and
I don't have to do the washingup. It's a great start to the
day. She went back upstairs asthe coffee brewed. I decided to take

(21:34):
a look around. I couldn't rememberwhat state the living room had been in
before. It was also looking verytidy now. I wandered towards my study.
My papers have been left as theywere undisturbed on my desk, yet
there was not a spot of dustin the rest of the room, and
my monitoring keyboard had both been wipeddown. Wandering into the laundry room,

(21:59):
I was genuinely shocked to find thatall my laundry had been put in the
wash and was now hanging outside onthe line. If I wasn't so unsettled
by it, I'd be over themoon. We had helped that had the
initiative to do things on their own. Without disturbing anything they shouldn't. I
managed to get a little further withthe auction house pitch that afternoon, though

(22:22):
I remained distracted throughout the day.When was it even doing all these things?
Was it just overnight? Was Igoing to turn around and catch a
specter emptying the bins? Chelsea hada meeting in Manchester first thing Monday,
and she was going a day aheadto meet with friends. A new lifestyle
brand called ever All was considering heras a potential brand ambassador. She thought

(22:48):
this might be a good opportunity toraise her profile and gain some traction with
legacy media. I kissed her goodbyeon the doorstep. I'd say, don't
make a mess and I'm gone.But now you can make as much mess
as you like. I smiled faintlyas she hopped down the stairs. Nita
helped her with her cases and hoppedinto the taxi. It was so very

(23:14):
Chelsea to adapt to the benefits ofa situation quickly. She's so used to
people doing things for her. Itis, after all, how we met.
I was at a hotel in Edinburghattending a conference and she came running
into the lobby. She'd just beenmugged. She was shaken up and in
a panic, A beautiful damsel indistress. I took her through all the

(23:37):
steps she needed to take to cancelher cards, block her phone, and
get her data back from the cloud. Later that evening, she came over
to me while I was in thebar and I offered her a drink.
She'd come to Edinburgh for a modelingjob, one of her first. She'd
been a fitness instructor, hoping toget a qualification in sports medicine. She

(24:00):
hadn't really wanted modeling work, butthe extra money was an ongoing enticement.
I was taken aback that she hadn'tbeen better advised. She come all this
way to meet with virtual strangers onher own. Getting mugged was bad enough,
but worse things can happen. Ifound myself going into the ins and
outs of personal security. I gaveher my number so she could call me

(24:22):
if she thought anything was wrong withthe people she was meeting. This is
the thing with Chelsea. She seemsnaive and wide eyed, but she's shrewd
enough to take an opportunity when shesees it. Before you know it,
you're giving her things she needs andwants, and you hand it right over
without even realizing it. All fora smile from someone bright and beautiful with

(24:45):
a far off hope it might leadto something else. Turned out to be
my lucky day. When I checkedon her in the morning, I was
brave enough to ask her to dinner, and that went so well. Spent
the night in my suite. Thestars lined up for me in the way
that they seemed to line up forChelsea all the time. Maybe she had

(25:10):
the right philosophy. This was abizarre but beneficial fluke. That afternoon,
as I prepared a duck and tolose sausage castolet, I looked at all
the mess I was creating and thought, if someone wants to clean this up
for me, why not let them? What harm was there really in it?
But I couldn't help but remain curious. As I ate, I wondered

(25:33):
what the rules were. How longdid it take our spook to take action?
There was no immediate cleaning after I'dfinished my main course. Instantaneous service
was not available. It was notuntil the morning that everything was sparkling and
in its right place. It seemedour spirit preferred to do its work overnight,
or at least while it was unseen. I was in meetings for almost

(25:59):
all the next day. The techboys were giving us a demonstration of their
latest facial recognition cameras. This couldmean the days of ID cards and scanners
were at an end. Access tosecure areas could be granted via your appearance,
only hard to fake and much harderto lose your ID. There were
other creative applications for this hardware.Our independent consultants, private investigators, and

(26:25):
current and former police officers could alertus to dangerous parties who might present a
risk to our clients. We couldthen preload their facial profiles into our system
so we could be alerted if theyever came within the vicinity of any protected
assets. This struck me more asa gimmick. Parties that could pose a
risk would include most of London's criminalunderworld, not to mention careless members of

(26:48):
the public. A criteria would needto be created unless they felt we could
directly link to Scotland Yards full databasethat would cost more than the usual two
hundred queer under the table to adetective sergeant. There was also the whole
data protection question over keeping people's informationwithout permission. I was sure we'd find

(27:08):
a way. The owners of theauction house were Saudi's. They are very
taken with gadget bling. That night, I prepared my signature avocado caprazy salad.
The meeting had gone well, andChelsea was excited, and I was
in good spirits too. The proposalwas finally coming together. We were in

(27:30):
a celebratory mood. A little later, we were lying in bed together and
the subject of the cleaning ghost cameback around. I admitted I was coming
around the idea. My shirts areall there, ironed and in the wardrobe.
I may not even need the lawndrette anymore. I said, you
can't argue with good service. Ijust wonder why the people who lived here

(27:52):
before never mentioned this, because we'dhave called them crazy and not put a
bid on. Yeah, I supposethat's true. I still can't work it
out, though I assumed it wasdoing it all during the night. But
if that's true, how did allmy clothes get to be drying outside and
when did it bring them back inside? Oh, Graham, don't ask questions,

(28:14):
she said, with a little hiss. Don't interfere with it. I'm
just trying to understand how it works. No, don't. Don't you remember
Archie's story. I thought you didn'tbelieve that nonsense. You didn't believe in
ghosts two days ago. I rolledmy eyes. It might be a made
up story, she said, Butlet's be careful, just in case.

(28:36):
I don't want to have to worryabout something weird happening. We've been really
lucky with this. Tell me you'llleave it alone and enjoy the perks.
Okay, okay, I'll leave italone. Promise me you won't do any
more investigating, or do a backgroundcheck or whatever on it. I promise
you I'll happily take this opportunity tonot lift a finger. Good replied.

(29:00):
I regretted my promise almost immediately.I watched my wife as she slid out
of bed. She went over toher underwear drawer to put on clean panties.
She opened it up, started torummage around inside, and she said,
oh, he's been going through hereas well. I sat up.

(29:22):
I beg your pardon the ghost it'sbeen going through my things too. She
took out clean panties. Everything's beensorted together. It's never been so tidy.
She slid them on and jumped backinto bed. She pecked me on
the cheek, then turned out thelight. I stared into the darkness.

(29:45):
You called it, he, Isaid, m she said, bumping her
pillow. Why did you call it? He? Oh? I don't know.
We have to call it something.Maybe we should think of an for
it. She was out pretty quickly, leaving me with some extremely uncomfortable thoughts.

(30:08):
Clean as are usually women, assumingthat what we had here was a
classic ghost of someone who lived.Although there have been male valets, gentleman's
gentlemen, but surely it will bea woman, almost certainly. I didn't
sleep well at all that night.The next morning, I was standing drowsily

(30:30):
in the shower, and while Iwas washing, I had a sudden feeling
that I might not be alone.I looked into the glass shield. I
couldn't see much through the steam,but there was someone there watching me.
How would I know? I turnedoff the water and stepped from behind the

(30:51):
glass. There was no one visiblein the bathroom except me, But I
was dealing with something that could dowhat it wanted secretly. Well, no
one was looking, So how wouldI know when it was looking? And
where did it hide itself? Whenwe weren't looking if it hid itself at
all. I looked into the bathroommirror. I wiped away the steam,

(31:18):
and I looked at me, lookingback at myself, and for some reason,
I whispered, are you there?There was a bang on the door,
and I almost had a heart attack. Chelsea was running late. I
went out, and she strode in. I felt like warning her, but
about what exactly. I had noreason to believe there would be something in

(31:44):
there with her, but I couldn'tbe sure. I kept quiet about it.
Before I left for work, Ilooked into the kitchen. It was
as spotless as we were now comingto expect. I thought to myself,
don't you try to get into mygood books? Now I know what you're
up to. It's not easy havinga beautiful partner. You're always aware of

(32:07):
people looking. She acts as ifshe doesn't know, or she brushes it
off, but she does know.She enjoys the attention. She understands that
power it gives her, and sheuses it. She must know deep down
what men are thinking. Does shereally think they're all jumping up to do
things for her because they're nice.It's not really naivete. It's denial.

(32:32):
It's convenience, so why ask questions, take while they're giving, and put
consequences to one side. Once,when she was considering an underwear shoot,
I asked her if she knew thatmen would be touching themselves to her pictures.
She made a big show of beingoutraged, then denied that they would

(32:52):
and said she didn't want to thinkabout it, which is close to the
real truth of it all. Ifher profile does rise beyond the influencer circuit,
I have no idea how I'll protecther. I'd already estimated the costs
of a full time bodyguard. Yes, everyone's nice to her now, but
men expect to get things in return. No one does anything for nothing.

(33:15):
Maybe it was nothing. This thingcould be benign, but it was the
not knowing that was driving me crazy. How was I supposed to assess the
risk? Chelsea had expressed concern aboutit being upset, just as an Archie's
stupid story, so she at leastunderstood it could have its ugly side,

(33:37):
just as she knew there was onlyso much she could take from the men
she let fawn over her. Iwas breaking a promise, but it was
for both our sakes. Before theday was out, I paid a visit
to the tech team to get thebrief loan of a small camera. I
made an excuse about the neighbor's catmaking a mess in our garden. The

(33:57):
guy showed me how to operate itindependent, so I could upload the footage
to my private account. With mostof these home cameras, the video is
kept by the supplier give me accessedby their staff without your permission at any
time. It's scandalous. I checkedChelsea's diary. She was meeting with her
management and would probably get home beforeme, but I didn't want to wait.

(34:20):
I'd have to find a moment toinstall a camera while she was distracted.
Just arriving home gave me a chill. I felt an unexplained feeling of
strangeness, like I could sense presence. There really could be someone waiting for
me in every room, around everycorner. I stuck close to her that

(34:45):
evening. At least if I wasthere, this thing would have the sense
to keep its distance. I wondered, if I made a mess across the
house, I could keep it busyand away from us. She was on
her phone most of the evening anyway, scrolling tweet responding. I didn't follow
her under my real name to avoidany association. The chatter was mostly assinine

(35:07):
positive comments on friends posts, generalshout outs, some people saying nice things,
some people not so much. Ididn't have to scroll far to see
some pretty ugly comments. If Chelseawas bothered by anything, I couldn't tell.
Occasionally she'd lean over to show mesome meme or gift. I pretend

(35:29):
to be amused. I couldn't understandwhy she enjoyed making such an exhibition of
herself. Didn't she ever feel likeswitching off and being alone? As she
got ready for bed, I wantedto warn her that we didn't know who
might be watching. If it didn'tknow that going through a man's wife's underwear
was crossing a line, there wasno way to know what it might get

(35:51):
up to. Once I saw shewas asleep, I slipped out of bed
and went downstairs to the kitchen.The dishes were still dirty. There was
still time to catch it in action. The perfect spot for the camera was
just above the blinds on the windownext to the door. I had to
work quickly. If I was here, it could easily make its way to

(36:15):
the bedroom while I was distracted.As I sat eating breakfast the next day,
I stared up at the lens andwondered what images it had captured.
The cleaning had taken place as normal. I was enormously tempted to download the
video and view it right there,but I had to get to work.

(36:36):
I heard Chelsea laughing in the hall. She was talking to one of the
builders. He didn't need to betalking to her. I shouted her over
and we talked about her weekend plans. I had a full day of meetings
and I couldn't view the footage onmy phone. The platform was better suited
to desktop. As the meetings draggedon, I had to make peace with
the fact I'd have to wait tillI got home. In a stroke of

(36:59):
luck, Chelsea texted me to sayshe was having drinks with friends after work.
I declined the imitation and went straightback. I followed the instructions and
managed to connect to the camera.I could see myself sitting behind my laptop
on the live feed. With justa few clicks, I was able to
access the previous night's recording. Ipoured myself a whiskey. It occurred to

(37:22):
me that I was about to dosomething potentially quite extraordinary. I was about
to take a glance into the unknownto watch a ghost in action. I
felt a buzz of excitement and anticipation. Well so, I thought. Winding
through hours of video is not muchfun. The program is supposed to bookmark

(37:45):
motion, but there weren't any bookmarks. I was just watching an empty room
in the dark. I wound onand on, and then just after three
am in the morning, something strangefinally happened and the image began to flicker,
just to twitch at first, asif something was disrupting the signal.

(38:07):
Slowly coming from the bottom right cornerof the screen, the picture started to
distort. It was like one ofthose early digital screens. When you pressed
your fingers against it, the picturewould blur. This blur extended across the
screen, like ink soaking into paper. It grew to cover the countertops,
and then the oven and the sink. Then the image started to flicker on

(38:30):
and off before the whole thing cutout. I wound the video forward.
The software is supposed to mark anysignal cutouts too. It took two hours
before the image came back on again. It was the same clear picture as
before, except that the kitchen wasspotlessly clean. I looked up from my

(38:52):
laptop. The site in front ofme matched what was on the screen exactly.
I captured nothing I could use asever, but I still felt at
chill. It had brought home notjust how out of the ordinary this was,
but that this thing had some kindof power of its own. What

(39:12):
are you watching? I jumped outof my chair. Chelsea was home and
standing right behind me. Jesus,I cried, slamming the laptop shut.
What's the matter. Don't sneak upon me like that. I didn't sneak,
I just got home. What wereyou watching? I couldn't think of
an answer straight away, so Chelseamade an assumption. Really, she said

(39:37):
in the kitchen. No, itwas some footage from work. I was
just taking a look at the software, okay, she said, unconvinced.
I couldn't show her what was onscreen, or she'd know about the camera,
as if I'd watched pawn in thekitchen and with the windows open.
But she wouldn't listen. When she'dgone upstairs. I opened my laptop again.

(40:02):
I was about to close the videoapp, but I spotted something new
just in the window the angle ofthe camera made a little hard to make
out. At first, I justthought it was a shadow cast from the
front garden. It was only oncloser inspection that I could see more of
a human shape. I was holdingthe screen right up to my face before

(40:29):
I realized I could just zoom inon the image. Course, the video
quality declines, but it was unmistakablya human shape, and quite a large
figure. This was not a feminineshape. It was definitely a man.
And then the penny dropped. Therewas no way I could see a shadow

(40:49):
in the dark of night. Thevideo had ceased to play. I was
watching the live stream. I lookedup from my screen and then jumped my
seat and backed up against the wall. I think I was a little scared.
When I looked into that window,I could see nothing, But when
I looked at my laptop, theshape of a figure was unmistakable. I

(41:16):
didn't know whether to watch the monitoror I could see it, or the
window where it really was. Ithought to scream for Chelsea, but then
the thing was suddenly gone. Iroast over to the window. The last
of the day's sun was shining through, making me think for a second it

(41:36):
might have been a shadow from thetrees, after all, But a shadow
couldn't vanish like that, So whatwas it? I watched the video back,
trying to see how long it hadbeen there. Watching had confirmed my
worst fear. A man was spyingon us and going through our private things.

(42:00):
How was I going to explain thisto Chelsea without revealing I'd broken my
promise? Then I thought, ifit was no longer here with me,
where was it now? I couldhear Chelsea's footsteps upstairs. I rushed up
there to keep an eye on her. This is the nightmare of being observed
constantly. You have no sense ofwhen you're alone, if you're ever alone

(42:22):
at all. Now every sound couldbe the sound of someone watching, every
shadow, the aspect of someone watching. Chelsea was actually in good spirits that
evening. The lifestyle brand was sendinga contract out to her management. In
the morning, she had found favorwith the brand's founder, Guss. She

(42:43):
soon forgave the imagined indiscretion of earlier. But there are just some things that
are hard to do when you thinkyou're being watched. It was so frustrating.
She could tell I was distracted keepingsomething from her. She got in
a huff. I just needed timeto think. I snock downstairs after she'd
fallen asleep to take the camera down. I didn't want her finding it,

(43:06):
even though there was surely more Icould learn. I sat down and replayed
the file, watching the two clipsover and over. It was difficult to
see exactly when the shadow appeared inthe window. It seemed to appear gradually.
I got more and more tired asI wound back and forth forgetting where
I was, and while I waslooking at watching me, watching myself,

(43:28):
watching the shadow over and over inan endless sloop. In the morning,
I was up before her again,ensuring the bathroom appeared clear before letting her
use it. When she'd finished andcaught me standing guard outside, things got
snippy. What is it with youlately? I was just waiting to say

(43:51):
goodbye to you, darling. Haveyou even had breakfast? I need to
be in the office early for ameeting actor on the cheek, and I
went to walk downstairs, except Islipped. I fell about halfway down,
sliding on my side and managed tograb the handrail to stop myself going all
the way to the bottom. Myside and hip had taken at bashing.

(44:15):
My ankle was already hurting. Chelsearan down to help me up. It's
okay, I said, what happens? Did you slip? I guess I
must have, I said, buthad I? You need to sit down.
It's nothing. I'm fine. You'relimping. It's just a little fall.

(44:36):
I'm fine. I put my footdown at the bottom of the stairs,
and it did hurt. It hurtquite a lot. You don't have
to be a martyr, Graham.A fall can be really serious. I'm
okay. I keep telling you I'mnot eight t you know. I was
starting to tremble. Fine, Ihave no clue what's wrong with you?

(44:59):
At the moment, I found thebag with the camera equipment placed next to
my shoes and coat. I didn'tremember putting it. There was this,
a smug, little reminder to myown business. I slammed the door behind
me. All the way to work. I was obsessing had I slipped or
was I pushed? It had happenedso quickly, but I felt there was

(45:22):
a force. Maybe I was abit careless, but if I'd only stumbled,
I wouldn't have fallen as hard asI did. Was this its plan
to get me out of the way. I had started to investigate. Now
I had captured it on video?Was this awarding to leave it alone?

(45:43):
I left it alone, then itwould still be there leering at my wife.
Did it really think I was goingto let it do that? Not
only did this thing have designs onmy partner, but it wanted me out
of the way too. I hadno choice. Action had to be taken.
Goodness knows what, I had noGhostbusters in my address book. I

(46:05):
would have to take Chelsea into myconfidence, come clean about it all.
I couldn't keep up watching her whenI didn't even know if the damned thing
was even there. Perhaps I couldrig up more cameras. We had heat
sensitive things that worked too well.What would the point be? I knew
what we had. What I neededwas a strategy for dealing with it.

(46:28):
I arrived home that night anxious andin a foul mood, with a slight
limp. What I didn't need wasfor Archie to be there after saying hello
to me, I might as wellhave been invisible. While I poured myself
a drink. Chelsea was showing himthe free active where samples she'd received from
Everall, and he was feigning interesttalking about wicking fabrics and mesh. It

(46:55):
was nauseating. Chelsea left the room. There was an awkward silence. You
have a good day, he said, acknowledging the void. Fine. Fine.
After a prolonged silence, I added, are you going to try them
on? Sorry? Try them on? Don't be shy. You seem so

(47:19):
interested. Yeah, not really mykind of thing, mate. Are you
sure? Because I've been here forthirty minutes and you've talked about nothing else.
I marched over to the table andpicked up a sports bra. Might
be a bit tight on you,but try it and see. I threw
it at him. Don't be shy. It's the twenty first century. We're

(47:39):
very tolerant of faggots and queers.What the fuck? He squawked, Come
on, Archie, I got intohis face. If you're not here for
the merchandise, what are you herefor? What is going on? Chelsea
had returned here she is knows yourchance, Archie son, make your case.

(48:01):
I even promise I'll step aside foryou if that's what she wants.
Archie looked pleadingly at Chelsea. Idon't know what's got into him. I'm
just going to go. He reachedfor his coat. Chelsea walked him to
the door. I could hear himprofessing his innocence on the way. Once
he was gone, she came stormingback. What is wrong with you?

(48:25):
I'll just get tired of it himhanging around you all the time. It's
pathetic, Christ he's my friend.He's interested in what I do. Oh,
come off it. That's not whathe's interested in. Why do you
always think people are after something?You know? Sometimes relationships are just nice.

(48:45):
People are just nice. Archie isn'there talking about yoga pants because he
wants to know about smart fibers.Darling. You know what, it doesn't
matter to me if Archie isn't reallyinteresting did because it's what friends do.
They talk and share and get along. You're so innocent. Can you really

(49:07):
be that naive? Naive? I'mthe one out there every day talking with
people, building relationships, connecting withpeople, and you think that's all real?
Do you you think those are realpeople? They're not fake, Graham.
They mean something. Why are youso suspicious of everyone? I know

(49:30):
what people are like. There's alwaysa price to pay. It's not a
price, Graham. It's called sharing. People connect with each other, and
they share things and they get along. It's reciprocal. It's what normal people
do, except that you get paidfor it. I don't get paid for
it. It's what your whole businessmodel is built on. Yes, but

(49:53):
that's different. It's only because peoplelike what I do and because I've built
those relations and chips that you cantake advantage of them, and not taking
advantage people promote their content. Weall know the rules. It's transactional.
Everything in life is. Is thatwhat we are? Transactional? That is

(50:16):
not what I'm saying. You knowhow I feel about you. You think
I'm a child. I don't thinkthat that. I don't know what I'm
doing. I'm just trying to protectyou like a child. For God's sake,
Chelsea. I don't care about Archieor your social accounts or how old

(50:37):
you are. We have an intruderin the house. There's someone here right
now watching us. She glared atme. What are you talking about?
What do you think? We havea ghost here living with us, something
that can come and go as itpleases. It could be here with us

(50:58):
right now. Crying out loud,Graham, I knew you were paranoid,
but this is something else. Youdon't know what it is or what it's
really doing. How could I makethis clear to her? It seems to
be cleaning up after us? Whatabout this morning? Do you think I
just fell downstairs by accident? Shestarted laughing. That's how most people do

(51:23):
it. This thing is not asinnocent as you think. I went to
fetch my laptop. I'm going toshow you. I have it on camera.
You what I know? I saidI would leave it alone. But
how can I leave it alone ifI don't know what it is or what
it wants. You promised giving thingssafe as my job, I'd be derelict

(51:46):
in my duty. You're a salesman. Watch the video and you'll see.
I sat her down and played herthe two sequences. What am I supposed
to be looking at? The shadowin the window? Just look, it's
a figure, it's a man,it's nothing. What do you mean it's

(52:07):
nothing? It's right there. It'smaybe a shadow. But so what you're
fine with that? Are you aman wondering the house when we can't see
him and can't know what he's doing. He could be here now and we
wouldn't know. Just give me amoment You're worried because there's something here that
we can't see, and we don'tknow what it's doing, and we don't

(52:30):
even know if it's there. Sheclosed the laptop and stood up. You
broke your promise to me. That'sbad enough. You sound like you've gone
off the fucking deep end. Listento me. You've got to take this
seriously. No, you listen tome. I know exactly what this is
about, and it's got nothing todo with ghosts or shadows. It's about

(52:53):
you and your jealousy and your paranoia. I thought you'd got over this.
She was tearing up, but herewe are again. You're getting yourself worked
up because of things you make upin your head. Before I could defend
myself, she cut me off.You want to protect me. I asked

(53:14):
you for one thing, to leavethis damn ghost alone, just in case,
and you couldn't do even that rightnow, Graham, the only person
I'm scared of is you. Sheleft me and headed upstairs. Frustrated,
angry, I decided I was goingto clean up. I didn't need some
spirit doing it for me. Ididn't need anything from it. I wasn't

(53:37):
entitling it to do anything. Iknew it was there, smirking at me.
It had driven a wedge between us. Maybe that was its plan all
along, but I wasn't done withit yet. This wasn't over. This
thing was going to show its truecolors. I just had to hope Chelsea
would see sense. Unfortunately, shedidn't want to be anywhere near me.

(54:01):
I needed to let her cool down. I stayed downstairs all evening watching TV,
hoping the thing was nowhere near her. She couldn't say she hadn't been
warned. Later in the evening,she unexpectedly came to talk to me.
I decided, I'm going to chooseto believe that you're behaving like this because
you're spooked out by the ghost,and that if we can sort this out,

(54:24):
you'll get yourself sorted and stop worryingabout who I talked to and when,
wants and for all. She handedme a post it note. It's
my friend Jillian's phone number. Imet her at an alternative medicine conference last
year. She's professionally intuitive. Ittook a moment for me to understand what

(54:45):
that meant. You mean she's apsychic scoff if you want. But unless
she had any ideas for what todo. I'm happy with how things have
changed. You're the one with theproblem. I'll let you make the call,
Darling. I tossed the note onthe coffee table. I wanted to

(55:07):
screw it up and throw it away, but if there was a chance it
might help me to understand how toget rid of this infernal thing? Was
it too late to call now?I couldn't believe I was going to have
to do this talk to some daftold bag. There was no answer,
saving me some awkward explaining, soI left a message. Psychic Jillian called

(55:32):
back the next day before lunch.She missed a trick by not saying she'd
been expecting our call. How tohide in the disabled lu at work so
I could describe the situation without riskof anyone overhearing. She gushed about Chelsea,
about her positive vibrations and so on. I just wanted to get down

(55:54):
to business. I tried to keepto the facts as we knew them.
She agreed to come over after thefollowing evening. Before letting her in,
Chelsea shot me a look, you'regoing to be nice, aren't you.
Of course, I said, asif it was my nature to be rude
to people. She still looks unconvinced. Psychic Jillians shared big hugs and kisses

(56:21):
with Chelsea. I offered a morereasonable handshake. She was everything I dreaded,
a cat lady with uncountable layers ofscarves and blouses. She had a
doughy figure with waist length hair youneed a plow to brush through. The
performance started right away. After onlya few steps, she had a sudden

(56:42):
twitch. Chelsea was all over it. Did you feel something? It's a
funny thing. Sometimes it takes awhile for me to warm up and clear
my head, but you know,as soon as I crossed the threshold,
I felt something like a feeling oftension and hostility, not something malevolent,

(57:04):
but it's all pent up, lockedin. It's very peculiar. Chelsea shot
me another look, and I shother one right back. I'd been polite,
I'd barely said a thing so far. We took her through to the
kitchen and I ran her through events. Doesn't sound like a bad deal,
she said. I wish I hadsomeone cleaning up after me. That's what

(57:28):
I think, said Chelsea. Butif there's some kind of intruder in our
home, I want to know there'sno risk, I responded, and you
were worried too. At first.I told Jillian about Archie's story. She
was prowling around the cabinets like shewas looking for where we kept the coffee
or maybe the silver. Urban mythsdo you often link back to something real

(57:53):
that did happen. Every story startsout somewhere. But it's not normal for
ghosts to be so proactive. Whywould something just want to come in and
clean, I asked. Ghosts aren'tcomplete things like you and I. They're
just aspects of their former selves.If this thing is doing the cleaning,

(58:16):
that might just be what they didin their former life, and they can't
let go of the habit. Shestopped near the cooker. Although normally they're
driven by strong emotions, spirits gettrapped on this side of the veil because
of something powerful that's unresolved, somethingthat was painful to them, an emotional

(58:37):
bond to cleaning. That have tobe something else going on. I'm sure
resisting and I told you so,Glance. I reminded Jillian that I caught
it on tape. He has shadowsand blurs on video. It is a
bit weird. Chelsea conceded, well, that's normal. If you could see

(58:58):
them, they wouldn't be ghosts,now, would they. Jillian watched the
video and seemed rather intrigued. Iasked her about the shadow in the window
and how it seemed too large tobe feminine. She wasn't convinced. I'm
not getting masculine energy from inside thehouse. Yourself excluded, of course,

(59:19):
allow there is something hostile in here. After the video, we took her
through the rest of the house,giving her time to feel the resonance in
each room. This consisted of awandering around a bit with her eyes closed
and holding her hands out in frontof her, like she was begging for
spare change. She would move herlips as if talking to someone, but

(59:42):
I couldn't hear what she was saying. After the full tour, he returned
to the hallway the spy, notbelieving a word of it. I was
getting desperate. I did want tohear her prognosis. What I'm getting the
sense I have of this person isthat she's afraid. She's afraid someone's watching
her, and it's definitely as sheand of what that person might do to

(01:00:07):
her. But her feelings are confused. She feels something for them, but
her heart may lie elsewhere. Sheknows they have a dark side, and
that scares her. It's so difficultbecause she's resisting contact. She doesn't want
to come out because she's so consciousabout being seen. It's hard to interpret

(01:00:30):
all the feelings I'm getting. It'squite tiring when they resist contact. We
have seen everywhere, now, haven'twe. There's just the basement, Chelsea
said. But it's a work siteright now. It's not safe to go
down there. Oh, that couldexplain a lot. You might have disturbed
something. She seemed to stop talkingbefore she'd finished her thought. It's not

(01:00:54):
just that I feel tired. II feel sadness. I'm not sure why.
Sometimes you get these feelings. Youdon't always get a full picture of
everything. Maybe I'll be able tocenter and pull it all together. But
what do we do about it?I was getting tired of this pantomime the

(01:01:17):
ghost. I don't want some strangething wondering about my house invisibly. Oh
there's cleansing rituals and things you cando, But I don't think you really
have to worry about anything. Ithink it's more likely to be afraid of
you. She looked away suddenly andfurrowed her brow. I feel like there's

(01:01:39):
something I'm missing, but oh,I don't know. I opened the door,
and she shuffled out, lost ina world of her own spells and
incantations. It is then, Ideclared. Chelsea was looking at me with
arms folded. I just feel betterwith it gone, darling. I don't

(01:02:00):
care if it's harmless. It hadjust put my mind at rest. She
was talking about us, you clown. The vibration she was getting were from
us. But if I recare,she said, the ghost didn't like to
be seen. That would hardly tiewith you. You've checked and answered your
phone twelve times this last hour.I think she was referring to you and

(01:02:22):
your jealous paranoia. Well, it'shard sharing someone with half the internet,
but as that's how you make yourliving, I'll have to make do with
casting the ruins and making sure ourhome is the one place we're free from
prying eyes. Do what you want. I don't need this negative energy.

(01:02:44):
I'm going to pack the brand publicitylaunched us tomorrow. She'd be away overnight
again. It's amazing how she canbe cynical or gullible, depending which benefits
her in the moment. Jillian isincredibly wise and sensitive, and she's being
interviewed for a YouTube clip, butshe must be incredibly wrong. If Chelsea

(01:03:04):
needs to get one over on mein an argument, she should be happy
the ghost is more afraid of us. That rather puts to bed any notions
of horse homicide, which is whathad me making silly promises in the first
place. But it's all about menow. All the matters is that I
broke a promise that I actually didn'tneed to make. Did Chelsea's heart now

(01:03:28):
lie elsewhere? I didn't know?First things First, I was going to
get rid of the damn thing oneway or another so our sanity could be
restored. If that meant casting somestupid spell, then so be it.
But cleansing spells turn out to needspecial ingredients. I wasn't going to be

(01:03:50):
able to get some jasmine buds andsacred lotus on Amazon, and I'd hardly
have time at lunch to pop intoHolland and Barrett to see if they had
any organic bladder rat A simple circleof salt would have to suffice. I'd
try that first and get gradually moreridiculous If that didn't work. That evening,

(01:04:11):
I roamed the house with a bagof anglesey sea salt. I came
up against a rather obvious problem earlyon. How do you create a circle
around a terraced house. I couldn'tbe any break in the circle, so
it would have to be made inside. I started to pour the salt around
the skirting board of the inside wall. I was chancing that the spirit was

(01:04:31):
outside at this time and not inside. I had no real sense of whether
it was there or not. Ithad been outside at this time according to
the timestamp on the video, andpsychic Jillian said it was more for hiding.
She had also said it was agirl despite the looming shadow. But
I'd just be happy to be ridof the blasted thing. I had to

(01:04:56):
repeat an incantation as I poured thetrail, pure salt. Protect this home
and all who reside here, Keepout those who seek to enter without consent,
keep out those who may harm us, and protect us from the negativity,
anger, and fear. I hadto hope the spell wouldn't be affected

(01:05:18):
by me sounding a bit sarcastic.Then I wondered whether we'd have to keep
the circle there always did it needto be permanent? Besides it raising questions
every time we had people over andwould get rubbed away as they walked in
and out. We'd have to keeptopping it up. Surely it took about

(01:05:38):
ten minutes to cover the ground andconnect the trail back at the front door.
On the plus side, if itdidn't work, the ghost might at
least hoover it up for me.I sat in the kitchen and poured myself
a class of Hennessy. Maybe nothingwould happen, and that could mean I'd
be in for a long wait,perhaps here till morning, watching the sun

(01:06:00):
go down. I thought about Chelsea, and about the event launch, and
whether I really wanted to be marriedto someone in the public eye. Perhaps
if she was successful enough, wecould move to the country somewhere the broadband
and phone signal was weak and Icould have her to myself again, and
almost dozed off by the time Ifelt her shadow pass over me. I

(01:06:26):
sat upright and got on to myfeet. Slowly, I walked at the
door, standing in the hall.I watched as the door handle started to
turn slowly, it bent like someonetrying to not make a sound. The
handle went all the way down,but the door didn't open, so it
flipped back up. I watched ithappen again. As the handle bent down.

(01:06:51):
I saw the door shift. Therewas pressure on it. Then there
was a thud. Something was pushingagainst the door. Another loud thump followed,
then another. The handle flipped upand down and back again. The
thing was trying to force its waythrough. It was making no effort to
be quiet. There was no figurein the glass, no one standing outside.

(01:07:15):
Yet it continued. I could seethe pressure being put on the door.
It groaned, strained a little inthe frame. I wasn't sure what
to do. The thumping sound continued, got more aggressive. It was trying
to barge the door down. Wouldit realize it couldn't get in, Perhaps
the door wouldn't hold out. ThenI heard a little creaking sound. It

(01:07:38):
came from the kitchen. I turnedaround and looked through the doorway. I
watched as one of the kitchen cupboarddoors just opened up all by itself.
I took a step inside. Iwatched in horror as a shelf full of
fine china slid out and tumbled tothe floor, smashing on impact. The

(01:08:00):
same happened to the shelf below.Cups and glasses flew off the shelf and
crashed to the ground. The nextcupboard opened, and I dashed towards it,
throwing my arms out to stop them. I wasn't fast enough. The
dishes tumbled out and slipped through myhands. I was in time to swivel
around and stop the next door fromopening. I held it back and put
myself in a position or I couldeasily jump to block any of the other

(01:08:24):
cupboards from being opened. In afit of rage, the ghost struck the
blender off the counter. The fruitbowl followed. Apples and bananas leaped into
the air, and the bowl shatteredagainst the radiator. The bin rose up
off the ground and went flying intothe breakfast table. Suddenly my eyes locked
onto the knife block. Then Iscreamed, all right, no more,

(01:08:46):
stop stop. I ran out ofthe room and back to the front door.
It was still taking a pounding.I kicked the salt away, yelling
it's broken, the spell is broken. Darting back to the kitchen, I
saw another door open. I boltedtowards it, desperate to catch are the
cruise pans, but the door justhung open. I stood their arms out

(01:09:13):
ready to catch them. I stoodwaiting. They stayed where they were.
The big shock came from behind.There was a loud bang as the door
flew open and smacked against the stopperon the wall. I went back into
the hall. I was a tremblingmess. It had gone inside after all,

(01:09:35):
except that it had been inside allthe time. It didn't make sense
unless there was more than one ofthem. Where were they now? There
were no signs in the hall,the kitchen, and the living room.
Everything was quiet, even though myheart was racing and I was sweating all

(01:10:00):
over. There was a chill onmy back. A breeze was blowing in
from outside. I slowly closed thedoor. That was probably okay to do
now. I assessed the damage inthe kitchen. I knew I'd have to
clean this up myself. I salvagedwhat was salvageable, picked up, swept

(01:10:23):
up, and hoovered up the rest. When I was done, I went
to my bedroom and barricaded myself inuntil morning. I slept a little,
not much. I wasn't aware ofany attempts to get inside. The next
morning, I went downstairs to findthings just as I'd left them. There

(01:10:44):
were dirty dishes, bits, ofChina I'd missed, and the broken circle
of salt our fevers had come toan end. In fact, that was
the beginning of the end. Whathappened next It lacked blood and guts,
but it destroyed us all the same. My phone started to ring while I

(01:11:09):
was cleaning up the salt. Thenumber was unknown. When I answered it,
I found myself talking to a journalist. Sorry to bother you in the
middle of the day, but Ijust wanted to ask a few questions.
If that's okay. She gave meno time to refuse. You're the husband
of Chelsea mccannon, the wellderness influencerword she gotten my name from. She's

(01:11:32):
a brand ambassador for Everall Fitness,isn't she? Do you know anything about
Everall, mister mccannon, I'm notinvolved in my wife's business. Does she
perform any kind of vetting before shedecides to represent a brand? Well,
she tests their products, tries themout, that sort of thing. Does
she ever do a background check?I don't know. That's for her people

(01:11:56):
to sort out. Does she evengoogle them? What's this about? Is
she aware of the factories in Malaysiawhere Everall makes his products, which have
been criticized for poor working practices ina report by Amnesty International, or the
investigations into multi level marketing practices,which are alleged to have driven people into
bankruptcy in the United States. Iwas stunned. I didn't know how to

(01:12:20):
answer. Do you think it's importantfor people who have a well being platform
to promote ethical, responsible brands totheir followers? Are hung up and called
Chelsea Graham. The event went reallywell last night. The pictures are going
up this morning. Engagement it's reallystrong so far. I didn't want to
burst her bubble, but I hadto tell her. She said she didn't

(01:12:42):
know anything negative about everall, andthat it's found that Gus wouldn't be involved
in anything sordid. When I askedher if she'd done a background check,
she said, of course, wemust do. She snapped at me for
ruining her moments and hung up thephone. By at times she got home
that evening everything had gone into meltdown. The piece on the Huffington Post had

(01:13:03):
been published and the shares and likeswere through the roof. The piece was
titled how Big Business uses pretty whitegirls to wipe their records clean. Chelsea's
endorsement of Everall was not the onlyexample, but she was the framing device
the case in point. A conferencecall with her management was set up in

(01:13:24):
my office. I stayed out ofit, but could hear the shouting and
screaming from the living room. Shewas panicking, and this time not even
Nita could calm her down. Inreal time, I watched the crisis unfold
on Twitter. At Chelsea Mac,how could you. You're supposed to be
about wellness goals, but obviously youdon't care about wellness of poor exploited People's

(01:13:45):
weekly wellness tip from at Chelsea Mac. Take lots of money and don't give
a shit about anyone else. Hashtagcanceled Chelsea and any other stupid whore who
thinks it's a good idea to takemoney from capitalist corporates. I go fux.
Some comments got very dark. Therewere threats on her life, threats

(01:14:06):
on her body, people saying theytrack her down and do things to her.
She came out at the meeting intears, and I returned to my
old role of protector. I offeredher reassurance. These people were keyboard warriors.
Triggered snowflakes. We had no reasonto believe they could find us.

(01:14:27):
I could organize for someone to watchthe house for us if we needed to
call in a favor. I returnedfrom exile on the sofa. I got
to hold and comfort her until morning. Then it was time to face the
baying crowd. The first step ofdamage control was the recording and releasing of
a new video. I allowed itto be shot in my office. Chelsea

(01:14:50):
explained in a subdued but still sunnyway, that the reports were about practices
in the old company. Ever,all had grown so fast that they had
made mistakes in the beginning, butthings were changing. She'd spoken to Gus
and he'd talked her through the stepsthey were already taking. She was going
to hold him to his promises andbe an agent for positive change. It

(01:15:15):
was all rather desperate, but theagency had their playbook, and she wasn't
the first influencer to face backlash.They said it would all blow over,
they could rebuild. Her brand wasstill valuable, but things did not die
down. The embers of outrage kepton catching fire. A picture surfaced of

(01:15:38):
Chelsea at an awards event with aLondon MP under pressure from the mob.
This MP condemned Chelsea for whitewashing corporateabuses. Then someone in the Green Party
took a crack at the MP fornot doing enough when they were in government.
Other celebrities joined the fight. Theargument made one of the breakfast shows
a few days later, but thenoise getting loud, other brands backed away.

(01:16:01):
The Smoothie brand withdrew their partnership,leaving her with a dozen unbroadcast videos
and a legal battle if she everwanted to recover the expenses. In just
days, the business she'd spent yearsbuilding collapsed, all those real relationships banished.

(01:16:23):
Whoa at Chelsea Mac has lost overa thousand more followers this morning?
Who's even sponsoring her? Now?Loll? I want to see at Chelsea
Max's new video about how healthy eatingand exercise can put back together the shattered
shards of your pathetic existence hashtag Thursdaylolls Now. I was her reassuring,

(01:16:45):
stoic shoulder to cry on, neveruttering any reproach and I told you so,
or you should have seen this coming, or why didn't you just google
them? I was dutiful, Iwas sympathetic, and I cleaned the kitchen
when she wasn't looking so she wouldn'tsuspect anything was amiss, so she wouldn't

(01:17:06):
come to any conclusion that I'd somehowcreated this mess by incurring the wrath of
the spirits. This whole thing happenedbecause of her weak decision making and willing
self deception. It couldn't really bemy fault, but I get to suffer
anyway. A follow up piece appearedin the Huffington Post called how the Privileged

(01:17:30):
set Sees what it wants to see. Turns out we weren't just pretty faces
cleaning up a company's reputation. Wewere a privileged, rich white CIS couple
who'd built ourselves a perfect white suburbanlife off the blood and slavery of poor
minorities. I was named in thecolumn. I worked for a company that
did business with a data firm repeatedlyfine for violating privacy lords. We worked

(01:17:57):
with Saudi businessmen known for their elationsof human rights law. Me and Chelsea
were equal partners in ethical compromise.None of these were my decisions. I
just worked there. I didn't getto say who we did business with and
who we didn't. We just providedthe security. It's not for us to
question their ethics. Everyone is entitledto protection. Clients don't take kindly to

(01:18:21):
having their business shamed in public.I was taken off the auction house account
and it was suggested that I shouldtake some time off, made myself scarce
so as not to offend the businessowners and allow bridges to be mended.
Chelsea's income was disappearing. Mine wasup in the air. We were both
stuck at our home, our futureshanging by a thread. Chelsea was doing

(01:18:45):
workout videos, presenting a brave faceto the world as if she'd never put
a foot wrong. Her management weredesperately trying to find a way out of
her contract. She was still brandambassador for Everall, and still obliged to
promote them should they require it.She was letting Nita manage her social accounts
to avoid further trauma. Disconnected fromthe world, she had little or nothing

(01:19:08):
to do with her days. Stuckat home together, we were getting on
each other's nerves. With my owncareer facing the toilet, I was finding
her epic silks and tantrums too muchto bear. She started sleeping late,
reneging on her own healthy lifestyle goals, and sinking into a depression. I
was spending my day's job surfing anddigging up old contacts for leads, then

(01:19:31):
painting my model cars, or justdrinking and watching sky movies. Then the
final blow landed, just when wethought it couldn't get any worse, A
friend alerted me to a message board. The message was posted anonymously, but
it could only be from one ofthe neighbors. I hate these hashtag Tory

(01:19:54):
scum. They lied to the council, said they weren't building a mega basement
under their ha, but they are. You want to run them out of
town with me? Want to knowwhere they live? And there it was
our home address published for the worldto see. We weren't safe. I

(01:20:15):
had to coax a distraught Chelsea intopacking a few suitcases and getting out of
there for how long I don't know. I put us into a hotel,
a good one, in the hopeof keeping her spirits up, but I
wasn't sure how long we could affordit. Now, overnight, someone threw
a tin of red paint against thefront facade. For a moment I thought
it was blood. I was gladChelsea wasn't there to see it. I

(01:20:40):
got some people in to clean itaway and never told her about it.
Her depression grew deeper. Nita andher management were struggling to motivate her,
and I had no positive energy left. Nita warned her that if she didn't
get her act together and keep herfigure, the agency would stop supporting her.

(01:21:00):
But Nita was no longer getting through, and it was clear Chelsea's management
intended to use her as a scapegoat. If it was all Nita's fault,
then neither they nor Chelsea were toblame. Nita could be dismissed and they
could move on, at least inprinciple. More likely, they'd let Chelsea's
career shrivel up and die, leavingher as a working client in name only.

(01:21:26):
She started talking about giving it up. We could go back to basics.
Do you remember how it was whenused to help me run the studio.
We could start from scratch, buildthe business up again, one location
at a time, like it wassupposed to be before all the influence of
stuff happened. She spoke like itwas an easier and better time, as
if she'd never liked the attention fromthe cameras, or the likes or the

(01:21:48):
shares. We could afford to renta space with the money we'd make from
downsizing the house. She said.We could even maybe use some of the
money from the severance package. Iwas negotiating how agreeable and close to me
she was when she wanted to spendmy money. Of course, we had
to sell the house. We couldn'tlive there now. I had to discuss

(01:22:13):
a new plan with the builders.They just had to finish off the basement,
make it presentable for any purpose abuyer might want it for. Every
time I went to the house,I found hate mail waiting for us.
Someone even sent us their ship ina jiffy bag. One evening, after

(01:22:34):
the builders had gone home, Itook a long, slow walk around our
home, room by room. Mostof our things were still there. It
didn't look like it had been abandonedin a hurry. In fact, everything
looked almost perfect, just like wewould have wanted it too, all nice
and tidy and clean and organized,very inviting. It was the kind of

(01:22:58):
home that, under normal circumstances Iwould have loved to have come home to.
The ghosts had taken it back forthemselves, and they were welcome to
it. Good luck to you both, I said, to the empty rooms,
from the empty hallway. It's allyours. In one last twist.
A few days later, I gota call from the police. The builders

(01:23:25):
had found a body in the basement. They discovered by mistake a section of
cellar wall that had been blocked off. Behind that bricked up cranny, there
was a human skeleton. After abreak of six weeks, me and Chelsea

(01:23:45):
were back in the news again,not just terrible people, but now murderers
too. And autopsy confirmed that thebody had been there for a very long
time, an estimate of over ahundred years. That got us off the
hook, not that anyone wanted totweet about that. She was confirmed to

(01:24:09):
be a young girl, likely aroundeighteen to twenty years old. She had
at least been strangled to death beforeshe'd been entombed. Make of that what
you will. Me and Chelsea arestill waiting to move into a new flat.
After all this time, I finallyhave her all to myself. If

(01:24:31):
only we had something to say toeach other. Thank you for listening to
the New ghost Stories podcast. Ifyou've enjoyed the podcast and would like to
support what I do, please considerleaving a review on any platform and subscribing

(01:24:56):
to hear future releases. You alsobecome a patron enjoy some bonus content by
signing up at patreon dot com slashNew ghost Stories. This podcast is written,
presented, and produced by David PaulNixon. If you'd like to find
out more about New ghost Stories,visit my website New ghost Stories dot substat
dot com, and to get allthe latest from me, follow me on

(01:25:17):
Twitter, Instagram and mastered on atNew ghost Stories. Next time on the
New ghost Stories podcast in the firstof our two parts season finale, it
only takes one act of vandalism tochange a life forever.