35 - How I Ruined Christmas

It’s the season of good will. Everyone’s supposed to get along. And not get into arguments. Or settle old scores…

Revenge is a dish best served sweet in this year’s ghost story for Christmas. There is something wonderful about the festive season, the way it helps us to renew connections with the people we care about. But connections can come with baggage. And when it’s family, love can often be tinged with hate. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and hope yours doesn’t become as strange and frightening as this one.

Patrons help to keep this English gothic podcast going. If you'd like to become one, just visit https://www.patreon.com/newghoststories

Find more ghost story content on my Substack - https://newghoststories.substack.com/

Tags: Festive horror, Christmas horror, Spooky, Creepy, True Horror, Christmas Evil

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
The story you're about to hear wastold to me in the strictest of confidence.
Certain names, dates, and locationshave been changed to protect that confidence.
Events that feature in this story maybe part of the public record.
If you believe you recognize any ofthe people, places, or events that
appear in this story, ask younot to reveal any information publicly out of
respect for the subject's right to remainanonymous. My name is David Paul Nixon

(00:32):
and this is the New Ghost Storiespodcast where we delve into the New ghost
Stories archive to hear new and classiccases of the supernatural stories that could be
delusions, lies, fantasies, orperhaps even the real thing. Just don't
make your mind up until you've listened. Why do people do this, Why

(01:03):
do they agree to take part inthe New ghost Stories project, and why
do they put up with all thethings that I put them through. I
can be a demanding investigator. Somepeople who come to me with their accounts
expect that I will simply listen andbelieve what they say, then go away
and share a written account with themwithin the week. Of course, it's

(01:26):
not actually like that. I don'taccept things at first value. I am
willing to extend the benefit of thedoubt, but not based on nothing.
I want the subject to share someelements of proof and substantiation, and not
everyone is comfortable accepting this burden.Some don't think they should have to provided,
some simply don't know how to.When I first started collecting these new

(01:52):
ghost stories, I had some ratherlofty goals. I wanted to investigate and
gather evidence because I thought that Imight be able to find some real,
convincing evidence of the supernatural cases andevents that might cause even the skeptical to
reconsider their stance, considering that peoplehave studied this subject for over one hundred

(02:15):
years. This on reflection was ratherarrogant on my part, But as time
has gone on, I found myselfless concerned with trying to prove the existence
of ghosts and spirits and the beyond. Today, I'm more focused on the
human experience and what our encounters withthe strange and unexplained say about us and

(02:37):
the world that we live in today. Because ghost stories are always as much
about the living as they are aboutthe dead, That's why I'm still doing
this. But why do other peoplechoose to contribute? If you're looking for
someone to believe you you may getthat from sharing an account is not guaranteed.

(02:58):
Of course, I do turn downmany more cases than I accept.
Despite my focus changing, I stillhaven't changed my criteria for evidence or the
way that I handle cases. Itwould feel like cheating if I didn't ensure
that every subject was honest, thatthey genuinely believed what they said was true,
and that it could have actually happened. I know that for some the

(03:23):
reason they speak to me and gainsome relief from contributing to new ghost stories
is because they feel a need toconfess that their supernatural encounter represents for them
a traumatic kind of secret that hasbeen a great burden to carry. It
weighs heavily upon them, And thereis something about us as human beings.

(03:47):
We have a need to unburden,to share, to get things off our
chest. It eats away at usto harbor a secret in ways that are
both obvious and subtle. You mightthink that over time it would be easier
to carry a secret. That's notalways the case. For some, the
burden just gets heavier. There isa desperate need to speak out to let

(04:12):
it go. And I think thatmost of us have a need to be
understood to make sense of what hashappened to us. For some, there
is also a need to be forgiven, to prove that when something terrible happened,
that it maybe wasn't all their fault, that they just made a mistake.

(04:35):
They want, perhaps to relieve someof their guilt, or to maybe
take responsibility so others will no longerfeel responsible. I have seen it with
people, a sudden burst of rawemotion, the release of just letting it
all out. It's quite something towitness. Sometimes I do get to feel

(05:00):
a little like a therapist, perhapseven an exorcist. Sometimes, after they've
gone through with sharing the account,people don't always want me to publish.
That's a little frustrating, but Ido understand. For others it becomes part
of letting the story go with acloak of anonymity. They can seek empathy

(05:23):
from a neutral audience rather than thosethat might judge them too harshly whose feelings
are still raw. So I supposewhat better time to do that than as
the year comes to a close.To Day's story is a personal exorcism set
at Christmas, where secrets and resentmentsgoing back decades finally boil over, leading

(05:49):
to a tragic climax that will changeone family forever. But no one has
ever known why or how it happeneduntil now. I will take a moment
before we begin to issue all avery merry Christmas. I hope it goes
a lot more calmly and uneventfully thanthis one. This is new ghost Story's

(06:14):
case number four hundred and eighty andit's called How I Ruin Christmas? And
you can hear it in full,uninterrupted after these messages. It was the
night before Christmas, but nothing wasstill and nothing was quiet. There were

(06:35):
presents scattered all the way from theback door to the Christmas tree. Cookies
lay in a puddle of spilt milkand broken glass on the kitchen floor.
Me, my dad, my mum, and my brother. We were all
awaken in the hall. My brotherwas white as a sheet. My mother
was on the telephone speaking to theemergency services. Dad on his knees on

(07:00):
the carpet. Beneath him was mynan, shaking, unable to speak.
For years, I've kept the truestory secret to this day. The rest
of my family have no idea whatreally happened and why it all happened.
It was only supposed to be ajoke. The story starts just a week

(07:27):
or so before Christmas. I wasabout eight years old. Dad had come
home from work and we could tellby the look on his face that something
terrible had happened. Mun was makingdinner in the living room. They were
having the kitchen refitted, so she'dmade a space in the bay window where
she could cook with a range ofexpensive appliances. She'd been a chef once,

(07:50):
that was why the kitchen was takingso long to finish. She was
being very specific. She saw thelook on Dad's face and said, oh
god, what's wrong. He tookher into the bedroom. So severe was
the bad news that he closed theliving room door behind him, and the
door to the bedroom too. Itdidn't work, obviously. It just flagged

(08:13):
to me in Max that this mightbe something worth listening to. We crept
up to the bedroom and Max puthis ear to the door. What is
it, I demanded. After amoment, he said, it's Bud.
What is He took his ear awayand looked at me grimly. Was spending
Christmas at Nun's. I've pushed himaside and put my ear to the door.

(08:37):
I didn't want to believe it.It couldn't be true. What I
heard was that Dad had made aterrible mistake when he was telling Nan about
the kitchen. Nan had said,we could always spend Christmas at hers if
it wasn't finished. Dad thought everythingwas going to be done in time,
so he felt safe saying, yes, Oops, we could have spent Christmas

(09:01):
at my parents. Mum was complainingtheir place isn't really big enough. He
said, but you didn't even ask. I thought the kitchen would be done
by now. We're paying them toget it right. How we asked for
it? Oh, you asked forit. Just say we have other plans
that I want to go over tomy parents instead, but have already said.

(09:26):
Just say no to her, foronce in your life, just say
no. We arrived at NaN's onthe afternoon of the twenty third. It
was pouring it down and we wereall in a bad mood. We'd been
to a Nativity play that afternoon.My cousins Rachel and Alfie had been shepherds.

(09:46):
They were on stage for all often minutes, but the performance went
on for nearly two hours and hadbeen followed by a sermon. The hall
was freezing and the pews were reallyuncomfortable, and we hadn't been able to
sneak off after without saying hello toa whole load of people. On top
of that, Max had drawn onmy face the night before while I was

(10:09):
asleep because of a big fight we'dhad. He'd written brain dead on my
forehead, and I hadn't noticed fora long time after I got up,
not until my dad saw and laughedat me. I was so pissed off.
I picked up a shoe and Ichucked it at Max, but I
missed and took a big chunk outof the bedroom wall instead. This had

(10:31):
put me in the doghouse and allowedMax to get off scot free. Nan
welcomed us inside. She gave Dada hug and landed the first blow.
You've been going out for dinner alot, haven't you. Nan has the
sunniest attitude. She'll cut you downto size in the brightest, jolliest way

(10:52):
possible. You didn't have to bringall this food, she said to Mum,
after inflicting a hug on her too. Well, I know you've bought
the turkey, said Mum. They'dagreed a supplier during negotiations, but I
didn't want to burden you with buyingeverything else. It's not a burden.
If you're cooking, I should getall the food in. It's only fair.

(11:13):
Yes, but there are some thingsthat aren't easy to get locally,
Mum said, picking up the bagsand ending the discussion by walking into the
kitchen. I love how much ofa perfectionist you are, said Nan with
a straight face. Then she leantdown to us. How are my boys?

(11:33):
She went in to kiss Max first. We both took it like stoics.
They're both in a strop, saidDad. You've not been fighting again,
I hope, said Nan. Youknow this house is a no fighting
zone. It was his fault.He threw a shoe at me. Boys,
it's just two sleeps before Christmas,said Nan. You don't want Santa

(11:58):
to turn back and take your presentsaway, do you. Max gave me
a sny little look and then saidto Nan, can I sleep on the
air bird? No, it's myturn for the airbed. I cried.
There were no beds in the smallbedroom. The choice was an airbed or
sofa cushions, and the sofa cushionsslid across the floor and you ended up

(12:20):
with your bum falling between them.You had it last time, Max insisted,
No, you had it last time. Aaron, you had it last
time, shouted Mum from the kitchen. Pah, Max laughed and then shot
up the stairs. You always takehis side, I complained, going up
after him. Don't run up thestairs, Dad shouted. Me and my

(12:46):
brother weren't getting on. He wasonly two years older, but he'd suddenly
grown up a lot. He wasn'tinto the toys or games that I was
into. A few months ago,we'd been doing all the same stuff together.
Now everything I liked was stupid andfor babies. By the time we'd
gotten back downstairs, Mum and Dadwere at the kitchen table and Nan was

(13:09):
serving out the sandwiches. Nan thoughtsandwiches were our favorite food. This was
because of a strategic ploy by Mum. Not even Nan could get sandwiches wrong.
She was clearly making an effort.The sandwiches were served on her nice
china, cut in precise little triangles. She offered three different types of crisps,

(13:31):
separated into little bowls, and therewas a large salad bowl with wooden
tongs ready for serving. Mum tookone taste of the salad dressing and never
touched another leaf. Dad told Nanabout our cousins and the play. Her
response was, Oh, that's sonice. I think it's really wonderful that
they've taken the time to get theminvolved in their local church. Sensitive to

(13:56):
a potential slight, Mum said,do you get to go to church much
yourself? Well, I'm getting ondeer, she said. It's hard to
get out as much as I usedto. Did you used to go a
lot? Mump persisted, where's themayonnaise? Dad jumped in, Oh,
yes, it's in the cupboard,Nan said, pulling her chair back.
No, no, I'll get it, Dad said. He stood up and

(14:20):
winced, suddenly, reaching down tohis knee. Are you okay, said
mum. Yeah, it's still abit stiff from the church pew. He
said. I didn't know you stillhad trouble with that, said Nan.
It was a dislocation and broken inthree places, he said, limping a

(14:41):
little to get to the cupboard,stretching his leg when he got there.
They said back then it might notever get fully better. It's only a
little stiff now, and then I'mlucky it's healed as well. As it
has you see, boys, saidNan. This is why it's so important
to keep your things tidy. Itwasn't my fault, Dad said, returning

(15:03):
to the table. Roger didn't leaveit on the floor, Nan said.
He pushed it across the floor allthe way from your bedroom. It was
a toy car you tripped on,wasn't it, said Mum, before biting
into a BLT match box Lamborghini Countatsaid Dad. He was playing with it
in the hall, said Nan,Not that day. It was the day

(15:26):
before I built a whole race trackgoing down the stairs with a jump out
the front door. He said tome and my brother, to our mutual
disinterest, I was tidying all thataway that same morning, your toys were
everywhere. What happened, Dad saidto us, was that my dad,

(15:48):
your grandpa, came into my roomlooking for his batting gloves because he knew
I'd used them, and when hewas searching around, he tipped over my
box with the cars and the LamborghiniCountact rolled out onto the landing. You
left it there, said Nan,shaking your head. I didn't leave it
there, he protested, you did. How many times do you have to

(16:11):
be told this? Kid's is whyyou've got to be careful on the stairs,
said dad. If you trip andfall down, you could dislocate your
knee and break your leg badly.It wouldn't have happened if you'd been more
tidy and watched where you were going. I interrupted them with an urgent tale
of injustice. No, you've hadthree peanut butter already. No, this

(16:33):
is my second. You've had threeMax protested boys. But it's not fair.
He's had all the salt and vinegarcrisps too. I pointed to a
near empty bowl. I think Isaw you take three peanut butter ones,
said Mum. No, I sawyou Aaron. You always take his side.

(16:56):
There's plenty of other sandwiches you canchoose from, said Nan. I
don't want other sandwiches. I wasbeing such a brat. That is enough,
commanded Mum. You won't be gettinganything if you carry on like that.
Nan was taken aback by my outburst. She sat up straight in her

(17:17):
chair and raised her eyebrows. Sheadded some more salad to her plate and
said, you boys are lucky.When I was a girl, if me
or my brothers argued with my parents, my father used to lock us in
the cupboard under the stairs in thedark until we stayed quiet. Nan put
the salad tongues back in the bowl. During the uncomfortable silence that followed,

(17:40):
Well, we don't do that sortof thing anymore, Mum said. Well,
me and my brothers never used tofight, Nan said quietly. She
stood up and started to clear awaysome of the empty plates. Mum muttered,
I never let one of my boysfall down the stairs and break a
leg. What was that? Whatare we having for dessert? Cried dad.

(18:00):
Nan turned to the fridge Angel Delightfor the kids, of course,
and I have a Christmas pud forus. I'll need to pop it in
the mic away for a few minutes. Without being asked, Mum was dealt
out a third of the pudding.Worse than that, Nan suddenly appeared by
her side with a can of squirtycream and emptied out so much on top

(18:23):
that the pudding nearly disappeared beneath it. Before we get started, said Nan
to Dad. We should raise aglass to your father while we're all together.
She topped up Mum and Dad's glasseswith red wine, and then stood
behind her chair. She lifted herglass to Roger, she said, looking

(18:44):
straight into the living room without standing. Mum and Dad raised their glasses a
little awkwardly and twisted in their seatsto look into the living room too.
Me and my brother mumbled along withoutreally knowing what was going on. Then
Nan sat back down, placed herglass on its coaster, and said,
bond appetite. Mum stared at hercream covered microwaveable dessert, and then looked

(19:10):
pleadingly at Dad, but he'd alreadystarted. He was avoiding her gaze as
he shoveled a steep spoonful down.I was at the top of the stairs
outside Mum and Dad's room. Icould hear her kicking off. Why'd you
let us say things like that tous? I don't think she means to

(19:32):
be rude. She knows exactly whatshe's doing. She means, well,
God, I hate it when yousay that she's from a different time.
Her and my father were social climbingtypes. All that hyacinthe bouquet stuff really
mattered. Appearances, being a certainway going to certain places. It was

(19:52):
important. That's not an excuse.She can't stand anyone doing anything different to
her. You're quite particular yourself.Dad's sighed. I don't know how Roger
put up with her. Mum wenton, well, Dad drank, Do
you want me to drink too?I just wish you'd stand up for yourself,

(20:12):
just sometimes. The conversation went quiet. The next thing I heard was
the door opening. I sprung tomy feet as Dad walked on to the
landing. What are you doing outhere? Nothing? I said, Were
you listening to us? No?I just wanted to get away from Max.

(20:33):
He groaned, What is it now? He took the good pillow,
the one filled with all the littlesoft balls. There are other cushions,
aren't there. But if he getsthe good mattress, then I should get
the good pillow. He just tookit off me and laughed. When I
said I wanted it back, heput his hand over his eyes. You

(20:53):
can't always get what you want,Aaron. He looked tired and defeated.
You have to compromise sometimes, Istared sulkily at the carpet. I'll talk
to him, he sighed, Butyou need to get into bed. I
need the toilet first. Fine.Go. By the time I'd gotten back

(21:15):
to the bedroom, the pillow withall the polystyrene balls inside. Debon returned
to my sofa cushioned bed. Iclimbed into my sleeping bag. I do
not want to hear another word,said Dad, closing the door and turning
off the light. You grass,hissed my brother. Leave me alone.

(21:37):
You're pathetic, You're pathetic. Goto sleep. For a moment, I
thought he was going to let itgo, but then he whispered, you're
in trouble now. I bet Santadoesn't like grasses. I ignored him.
You're run the naughty list, You'rerun the naughty list. I bet you
won't get any presents. Brain deadkept on ignoring him. For once,

(22:00):
it actually worked, and he fellasleep. I couldn't sleep, though,
because I was so mad, madat him for being mean, mad at
him for being a bully, butalso mad at him for shaking my faith
in Christmas. You see, theday before, Mum had been tidying the

(22:21):
kitchen and I'd managed to cheek myway into getting some cookies before dinner.
Mum said to me, don't takethem all. We're going to need some
for Santa, aren't we. Mybrother heard, and when Mum was gone,
he said, can't believe he's stillbelieving that believe in what in Santa?
You really are brain dead. I'mnot brain dead. Shut up.

(22:44):
I believe in Santa and fairies andunicorns because my name is Aaron, and
I'm such a baby in my braincells have shriveled up and died. Why
are you always such an idiot saythat Santa isn't real? And I couldn't
because I still kind of did believeit, even though I probably knew deep
down, but I still wanted tobelieve in the magic, and to admit

(23:08):
it wasn't real would be like admittingI'd fallen for it. It's kind of
hard to accept your parents have liedto you. It also put in jeopardy
the odds of us getting a NintendoWee for Christmas. Plenty of big hints
had been dropped, though they weretoo expensive and too hard to find.
So Santa had been basically my onlyhope, and now Max was messing with

(23:30):
my head and shaking my faith inChristmas miracles. This could not go unpunished.
I needed to find a way toget back at him. I just
didn't have his talent for vicious tricksand taunting. He seemed ready at any
moment to come at me with somethingI would never think to run inside and

(23:52):
lock him outside, or to movehis cup to the edge of the table
so he'd knock it over when hereached for something. I was out for
revenge, and ironically it was mybrother who gave me the perfect idea for
how to do it. But itall got a lot weirder and darker than
I ever would have expected. Therewasn't much for us to do on Christmas

(24:18):
Eve. Dad had escaped for afew hours to get a drink with some
old football friends. Me and mybrother were in the living room. I
was lying on the floor doing ajigsaw a snowman, while my brother was
sat across an armchair playing his sonyPSP. In the kitchen, Mum and
Nan were not fighting again. Iput it in the fridge this morning.

(24:41):
It can take up to three daysto defrost the turkey, said Mum,
fretting. It'll be okay. Wecan put it up against the radiator if
it still needs defrosting. You can'tdo that, Mum snapped. It's food
safety. It creates bacteria. It'swhat we always used to do for the
found Christmas. You're lucky you didn'tgive everyone food poisoning. Mum closed the

(25:04):
fridge door. Oh I miss thosefamily Christmases with Roger, said Nan.
He died just before Christmas. Youknow, playing the dead husband card again.
Mum rolled her eyes and said,we can bathe it in some warm
water. That should help it along. That's alve that. But it didn't

(25:25):
take a long to find other areaswhere NaN's kitchen fell even further below what
she was expecting. You don't haveany proper garlic. I use garlic powder
for everything, said Nan. It'seasy. You don't have to crush or
peel it. I need clothes toput in with the potatoes. I was
hoping you'd have some semolina too.It gives them extra crunch. Oh,

(25:48):
you've got a special way of doingeverything. How am I supposed to know?
Did I see a grocer amongst thoseshops a few streets away going east,
asked Mum. I think so,if they're open, might have to
chance it. I'm sure they'll havegarlic at least. Everyone always used to
like the way I did the potatoes. But you're the boss, Nan smiled

(26:11):
defiantly. I've got to pop outmyself. I still haven't delivered the last
of my Christmas cards. You're goingout, Yes, I've got to pop
one into next door and a fewother houses down the road. She reached
for the cards, which were tuckedbehind the bread bin. But you don't
get on with next door. That'snot true, said Nan, her voice

(26:33):
a little high pitched. Me andmister and missus Leslie have been friends for
years. But if we're both out, who's going to watch the kids?
Ah, they'll be okay, wewon't be gone long. Mum opened her
mouth to protest. Five minutes,said Nan, waving the envelopes in front
of it. That's all it willtake. Mum made a huffing sound,

(26:56):
but relented. Kids. She shoutedinto the living room. I'm popping to
the shops and your Nan is justgoing down the road. Be good until
she gets back. Okay. Wemumbled something to show that we'd heard them.
Nan stepped into the living room.I know you're both going to be
good, she said, and shepointed to the mantelpiece to a polished metal

(27:19):
vas placed between two silver candlesticks andnext to a picture of Gran and Grandad.
It was a tall, polished silvervase with rings of decorative leaves around
the base and beneath the lid ontop. Because you see up there,
your Grandpa's right there keeping an eyeon you. She pointed down to me,

(27:41):
and if you don't behave yourselves,he's going to tell me when I
get back. She pointed then tomy brother, So make sure you both
don't get into any trouble. Ihad no idea what she was talking about,
but I saw that Mum was kindof horrified. She didn't even say
goodbye as Nan blustered her out ofthe front door. I sat and stared

(28:06):
up at the mantelpiece, still puzzled. What is Nan talking about? I
asked. My brother didn't look awayfrom his PSP. Don't you know anything?
Ah, just tell me what's inthe vase. He put the PSP
down, leaned forward and said,menacingly, it's Grandpa. Grandpa's in there.

(28:26):
Didn't you hear what she said?I still didn't get it. When
Grandpa died, they set his bodyon fire, and all the bones and
bits of him that are left arein that jar. I took a moment
to think about this. I turnedto take another look at the urn and
said, ah, yes, youbetter watch out. Grandpa will crawl out

(28:52):
and come after you when you're notlooking, he sniggered. He picked up
his PSP again. I went backto my jigsaw, but it was pretty
hard to concentrate. Once I knewthat the remains of my grandfather were just
there inches away, I started tofeel a presence, like a shadow looming
over me from behind. I reallydid start to feel like someone was up

(29:18):
there watching me. It didn't helpthat his picture was up there too,
where he was actually looking out atme, or half looking out. Grandpa
had a twitch which always got triggeredwhen someone tried to take a photo of
him. His left eye would closeand his lips would stretch to the left.

(29:38):
He looks mental in almost every photographI've ever seen of him. I
wanted to get up and do myjigsaw somewhere else. If only Max hadn't
been there, couldn't let him seethat I was scared. Nan was actually
gone for a long time. Aftera while, I got up and went
into the kitchen to make myself aj I had a sip of that,

(30:00):
and then went upstairs to the toilet. After finishing and pulling the flush and
washing my hands, I went toopen the door. When I saw it
was standing behind it, I frozeto the spot lying on the floor in
the doorway. A few inches awaywas Grandpa's urn, just standing there in

(30:23):
the hall. My Grandpa's urn upstairsin front of me, close enough that
I might have walked straight into itand knocked it over. I stared at
it. Everything in the house wasquiet. I walked around it and had
a look into all the bedrooms.I went along the landing and looked down

(30:45):
through the rods below the banister tosee if anyone was down in the hall
below. I went back to theurn. What surprised me most, had
me most perplexed was just how quietlymy brother had been. He managed to
get the urn all the way upthere without me hearing him. That wasn't
like him at all. He wasalways thundering around everywhere. This really wasn't

(31:10):
one of his best tricks. Didhe really think I was this easy to
scare? I heard the key inthe front door. I picked up the
urn quickly and took it into NaN'sbedroom. I was surprised by how heavy
it was, and terrified I mightdrop it. Once I'd heard Nan go
down the hall, I crept backout onto the landing. Max had wanted

(31:34):
to scare me, but now he'dlump me with the urn. I'd get
in so much trouble if I wascaught with it. I'd braced myself to
hear Nan flip out over not seeingit on the mantelpiece, but she mustn't
have noticed. I tried to listento what was going on. Nan was
saying something to Max and he washaving one of his strops about it.

(31:57):
She walked back into the hall,saying, it only take a minute.
I just need to get the cellotape. She was approaching the bottom of
the stairs. I only needed tohold the paper down for me. I
had to run back to NaN's roomand move the urn quickly into Mum and
Dad's room. I only had timeto slide in and hide behind the door.

(32:17):
She was about to wrap some presents, probably for Mum and Dad.
I waited quietly, struggling to standstill behind the door, until she finally
came out and headed back downstairs.They'd do the wrapping and the dining room
because of the big table. Iwent back to the landing and waited until
I heard them start carrying the urnI walked so slowly, so carefully,

(32:45):
down the stairs, terrified not justabout being heard, but by the chance
I might drop it the pot withmy granddad in it. I got to
the bottom safely. I crept pastthe dining room while Nan ordered Max to
hold a fold down safely in thekitchen across to the living room without any

(33:07):
trouble. But I couldn't lift theurn onto the mantelpiece myself. I wasn't
quite tall enough. I had todrag over a footstool. I leant down
to pick up the urn again,but instead of climbing up to put it
back, I suddenly had a thought, and once I'd had it, I
couldn't help myself. I sat onthe footstool and held the urn tight between

(33:30):
my knees. The lid was screwedon tight and it took a bit of
effort to loosen it. When itcame off, there was a little pop.
Some of the ash came out andlanded on my trousers. I freaked
out, but luckily not enough tospill any more on the carpet. I
ran to the kitchen to get asponge to wipe it off. I put

(33:52):
that sponge back on the washing caddywithout rinsing it out. There was a
noise in the dining room. Irushed back, climbed up on the foot
stool, ready to put the urnback, but it was a false alarm.
I still had time time to enactmy genius plan. I put the
urn down, returned to the kitchen, and came back with a cup and

(34:15):
a large spoon. Peace was maintainedinto the evening. Mum and Nan were
able to collaborate on toad in thehole. Something simple Nan could cook that
Mum could just affect a little,Nan, I said, putting on my
best angelic smile. Can I mixthe angel delight tonight? Of course you

(34:39):
can. Happy to be helped out, she smiled. She went to the
cupboard over the kettle, strawberry orchocolate. I want strawberry up Maxwan's chocolate
boys, she said, shaking herhead. They've always got to be different.
I fetched the milk from the andNan gave me two jugs to whip

(35:01):
up the mixtures. I spent along time mixing them. I was waiting
for Nan to be distracted by something. I kept mixing until there was laughter
from the living room. Nan overheardMalcolm and Wise on the telly and stood
in the door to watch. Thecup of ashes was in the cupboard under

(35:22):
the sink. I snatched it upand tipped it into Max's Angel delight,
then put the cup back in thesink. I stirred the ashes madly into
the chocolate, almost laughing as theywere coated brown and disappeared into the mixture.
I think they must be stirred wellenough now, said Nan, returning

(35:43):
hope. So I grinned. Dinnerwas served at seven pm in the dining
room. Everyone enjoyed the toad inthe hole, who was the one and
only moment of harmony around the table. By the time we were ready for
we'd come back to in my dayterritory. Have you seen the Christmas lights

(36:06):
down the road, Nan said.We drove that way to show the kids.
Said Dad, it's even bigger thanlast year. And it's not just
them. One of the houses onHazel Close has a whole north pole built
in the garden. There's a housenear us with a glow in the dark
Santa and his reindeer on the roof. It's so over the top, she

(36:29):
said. People go so overboard atChristmas now, everyone wants to take photos
and put them on the internet.What's wrong with a proper Christmas at home
with drinks and presents and family.She rose to fetch the desserts, and
my heart started racing. Just tokeep me on edge, She bought out

(36:49):
the cheesecake for them first, beforefinally carrying out both filled to the brim
bowls. We have one strawberry andone chocolate, said Nan. Strawberry is
mine, I cried out. Mybrother scowled in disapproval. I just made
a little smile as Nan placed thebowls down in front of us. Oh

(37:13):
it's all so commercial now, saidNan, sitting back down. My brother
plunged his spoon into the moose.I could barely disguise my glee as he
started to shovel it down. Iwatched his cheeks slosh it around and then
swallow. I struggled not to burstinto laughter. After a few mouthfuls,

(37:34):
he said, this tastes funny.I had to bite my lip. You've
done something to this, he saidto me. I was about to absolutely
lose it when Nan stepped in andsaved me. I was there all the
time. He made it just theway you're supposed to. He frowned,
but he went on. He justkept on eating it. I carried on

(37:57):
eating mine too. It was thebest way to stop myself from cracking up.
Just look at how many presents kidsget now, said Nan. Nice
to spoil them every now and thensaid Mum. We never used to get
anything like it when I was young. If people do well, it's not
unreasonable for them to splash out onthe people who matter to them. After

(38:21):
all, it's only once a year, said Dad, using his mediation voice.
Again. Max looked unhappy. Istarted to wonder when I should tell
him I had to do it.When we were alone. I might call
him a cannibal, tell him Grandpawas still alive inside him. Ask Max

(38:42):
to say hello to him in thetoilet when he next went for a pooh,
and I'd deny it. When hewent to tell Mom and Dad,
I'd swear I was only joking andthey wouldn't think I'd actually done it.
But Max would never be sure.He'd always be left wondering whether we'd eatn
part of his Grandpa or not.He was screwing his face up. I

(39:05):
don't want anymore. He dropped hisspoon in the bowl and took some juice
to drink. I know people wantto splash out, but when did it
all get so competitive? It's allabout showing off. I've bought the biggest
present, I've decorated the biggest tree. I've got the most lights on my
house. It's all so over thetop. How should people celebrate Christmas?

(39:30):
Probed mum. My brother had asudden twitch. Then he coughed. It
was like a horse sneezing. Iwatched as the color slowly drained from his
face. He looked miserable. Iwondered if he was going to be sick.
I carefully moved my chair back toavoid being hit by any splatter.

(39:51):
It doesn't have to be so big. You can just have a few presents
and then everybody values them even more. It makes it really person not Max
twitched again. It really did seemlike he was about to heave. We
used to have little parties round hereevery year. They were a real highlight
of Christmas. Not huge ones,just a few friends, some food,

(40:15):
not too much drink. We shareda few presents, nothing expensive, but
meaningful. My brother jolted like he'dbeen hit with a thousand vaults. He
said, in a gravelly, grumblyvoice, because you never wanted to share
any of the good stuff. I'mnot sure whether they really heard him or
not. His voice was very different, Perhaps they only caught some of it.

(40:42):
No one said anything back to him. They all seemed confused, uncomfortable,
like maybe they'd heard him, buthe couldn't quite believe it. Much
better to move things on. Iremember those parties, said Dad, a
little nervously. I remember there beingmore than a little bit of drink.
People had a much better attitude todrinking back then, she said. We

(41:06):
paced ourselves, kept it sensible.She left the room to fetch the coffees,
and after aids Max, what's wrong, said Mum. I'm fine.
You're looking pale. Are you sure? He ignored her. Nan returned passing
the chocolates to Dad to open.Mum took a deep breath and took a

(41:27):
sip of her instant coffee. OhI missed those parties, said Nan.
We had some of your father's workfriends over, my little brother and his
wife, the Leslies from next door. I thought you didn't get on with
the Leslies, said Dad. Whydo people keep saying that We've always been
very close but there wouldn't melt inyour mouth, would it, Max snarled.

(41:52):
Max said, Mum, shocked,don't talk to you Nan like that.
What's wrong with you? Unrepentant?Max leaned across the table and plucked
an after eight from the tray andwas shocked. She seemed genuinely heard sounds
like someone wants Santa to turn aroundand go home tonight. He snorted,

(42:14):
put the chocolate mint in his mouthand said, you patronizing old baggage.
Max, How dare you? CriedDad, Don't suck of it, he
said, with his mouth full.He banged his fists on the table,
Her carrying on like she's purer thanthe driven snow. He stood up and
pointed to her. No one wouldthink you are a saint if they knew

(42:35):
what you were really like and whatyou've really done. That is enough,
yelled Dad. He sprang to hisfeet and then howled in pain as his
bad legs seized up. There wasa sudden change in Max. He was
startled. He was looking around likehe didn't know what was going on,
like he knew he was really introuble now. Dad limped over to him

(42:57):
and grabbed him by the shoulders.You will apologize. It's your Nan right
now. The last of the colorleft Max's face. I thought he was
going to faint. His eyes rolledback, his head went back. Then
he threw it forward and vomited allover Dad. Then he fainted in shock.
Dad let Max go, crying,Oh fantastic. As chunks of sick

(43:20):
dribbled down his trousers. Free ofhis grip, Max dropped slowly to the
floor. Max Max said, Mum, running around to him. I just
sat there, mesmerized by the wholething. I'm sure whether this was still
funny or not. He didn't seemto be unconscious. He groaned and wriggled

(43:40):
a little. Mum put her handon his forehead, then checked his pulse.
What has happened to you? Icaught the recipe just how you told
me to, cried Nan. Youwatch me do everything. I didn't do
anything wrong. If it was themain course, we'd all be sick,
said Dad. Oh my tummy hurts. Max said, Let's get you upstairs

(44:05):
to the bathroom, said Mum.She tried to lift him up, but
Max was getting a bit big forthat. I can't dear my leg,
said Dad. Mum looked unimpressed.She carried Max out in front of her,
like she was lifting him into abath. She walked very slowly with
him into the hall and around tothe stairs, sick bloody all over me,

(44:28):
said Dad. Let's get you cleanedoff, said Nan, leading him
into the kitchen. I was leftalone in the dining room, wondering what
the fuck had just happened. I'dlike to say I felt guilty, but
not in the slightest was nervously happyabout it all. My main worry was

(44:49):
about whether I was going to getin trouble and how much trouble i'd be
in. I saw his bowl.He'd eaten about two thirds of the dessert.
I needed to get get rid ofthe evidence, just in case.
I crept into the kitchen, hopingto empty the bowl into the bin before
anyone would notice. I was justcleaning up, trying to be helpful.

(45:10):
But Dad spotted me, who wasscraping vomit off his shirt into the bin
with a knife. He said,that's what he was eating, wasn't it.
He took the bowl from me.Nothing wrong with yours, he asked.
I shook my head like crazy.He lifted it up to his nose
smells all right. He turned toNan. There was the stuff out of

(45:32):
date. That sort of thing nevergoes out of date, she said.
From upstairs, we heard the soundof Max heaving again. Dad examined the
moose closely. It's just milk andmixture, isn't it shouldn't do him this
kind of harm. And then heand god knows why, he dipped the

(45:52):
spoon into the dessert and he tastedit with a look of absolute horror.
I watched as he swished it aroundhis mouth to examine the taste before swallowing.
It's a bit lumpy, but ittastes fine to me, he said.
Then he did it again. Hetook a second spoonful for another taste.

(46:14):
I couldn't believe it. Maybe he'sallergic to something. She did tell
me to put some strange things inthat toad in the hole. I want
it to be nice, but Idon't know why you have to season your
batter. We never did it thatway growing up. There's nothing wrong with
this, Dad said. I thoughthe was going to have another mouthful.

(46:36):
To my relief, he finally tippedwhat was left in the bin. Max
was put to bed after he'd finishedthrowing up and had drunk some water.
Everyone seemed to agree it must havebeen an allergic reaction to something, maybe
in the Angel Delight or the food, or maybe Max hadn't washed his hands
and had picked up some germs fromsomewhere. That seemed to be the favorite

(46:59):
explanation. It meant that no onehad to take any of the blame.
The rest of us spent the remainderof the evening watching television, but my
eyes weren't on the TV. Theywere on Dad. I watched him carefully
to see if he changed in anyway. He watched the TV quietly like
the rest of us, enjoying afew brandies. As the night went on.

(47:23):
He never said or did anything strange. I started to think maybe they
were right about it being an allergyor germs. But when it was time
for bed and Dad kissed me goodnight, I couldn't help but notice he
was looking a little gray around theeyes. I almost went to bed without

(47:45):
leaving the milk and cookies out forSanta. Mum had to remind me,
and I put them out, feelinga bit silly, like I was already
starting to come to terms with atruth that was already gnawing away at me.
Max was fast asleep when I gotup to bed. Mum joked it
was the first time in Christmas historythat one of us went straight to sleep

(48:08):
on Christmas Eve. I couldn't sleep. I had nothing to do with the
presence. I was starting to reallyworry. Maybe I'd really hurt my brother.
Maybe I'd heard Dad too. Ithought perhaps it was best if I
never joked about this and never saidanything to either of them about it ever.

(48:30):
I tried to think about my presenceto cheer myself up, but it
didn't work. After a little while, I got up and went to the
bathroom. When I walked on tothe landing, I heard a bump from
downstairs. I knew that sound.It was the noise the back door made
when it hit the stopper on thekitchen wall. I crept to the top

(48:52):
of the stairs. I heard whispering. Then I heard a thud, followed
by what sounded like a bunch ofboxes on the floor. Then I heard
a not so whispered buck. Itsounded like Dad sleepily. I crept down
a few steps. Keep your voicedown, said Nan. Didn't realize you

(49:15):
were buying all this stuff, saidDad. It's just a few nice extra
things. No, I couldn't believeit. Max had been right. It
was all a lie. It hadalways been a lie. I snuck downstairs
to make sure you were only justsaying people shouldn't go all out for Christmas.

(49:37):
I saw Dad picking up boxes.He'd been carrying a pile of them,
but had made a mess of tryingto squeeze through the living room door.
I've done a favor for you both, actually, said Nan. That's
if you haven't broken it. Dadput some of the smaller boxes on the
kitchen counter, next to the milkand cookies. What are you talking about.

(50:01):
I got them the Nintendo Weed,didn't, I said, Nan.
You and Linda said you couldn't affordit, so I bought it for them
instead. But we already told themthey weren't getting one, so it'll be
an extra special Christmas surprise. Shechuckled. All thanks to Nan. Dad

(50:22):
stood in the doorway carrying a moremanageable pile of boxes, but he just
stayed there. It was weird.He seemed to have frozen until he let
the boxes drop. They slipped fromhis hands and crashed to the floor.
He strode into the living room,kicking some of them out of the way.

(50:43):
I heard him say, and notquietly, you fish us, fucking
bitch. I ran down the halland into the kitchen to watch. He
loved to cut people down, don'tyou? He roared. For a moment,
Nan was too shocked to speak.You love to put down. He
poked a finger into her chest,so you can put yourself on top.

(51:06):
How dare you, she cried,swatting the finger away. I'm your mother.
You can't speak to me like that. Who do you think you are?
He grabbed her by a cardigan,pulling her close. Who do you
think I am? He said?And then I saw it, the twitch,
His left eye closed and his lipsstretched to the left. The change

(51:30):
came suddenly. She was trembling,squirming. Oh god, it can't be.
You want to grind him down,don't you, just like you did
to me. Let go of me. She pushed him away, but tripped
over a present and fell backward ontothe sofa. The years I put up
with you, put up with yourmanipulations. You're scheming. You pushed me

(51:55):
to the brink. How dare yousay that to me? And then leapt
up off the sofa. After allyou put me through, what I put
you through. I couldn't stand you. I still can't. Ah. It
was a good wife to you,an honest, decent woman, and you

(52:15):
you betrayed me. I found someoneelse, someone who wouldn't poke and crawd
and twist me around their finger,and you still took that away from me.
I gave you everything, I madeyou everything you were. You made
me miserable. You made my son'slife miserable. I wish I'd had the

(52:37):
courage to walk out of that door, leave you behind. I wasn't gonna
let you go without a fight.The work I'd put into you. It
was shameful, you and that tart. Don't you talk about Jillian like that,
what you did to her, whatyou did to us, you bloody

(52:58):
blackmailer. Well I still can can't. I don't forget. I can walk
over to the next door right nowand tell mister Leslie everything you and his
wife got up to and when yougot up to it. I'm sure he's
been wondering for years why two ofhis children are taller than he is.
Dad pushed her and she fell backonto the sofa. It was the biggest

(53:21):
mistake of my life to marry you. He reached onto the mantelpiece and picked
up one of the silver candlesticks.You've done enough damage to enough people.
I'm going to do what I neverhad the courage to do before and make
sure you can never hurt anyone elseever again. Nan screamed and took off,

(53:42):
going faster than I would have thoughtshe could. Dad started after her,
but his bad leg held him back. Seeing her coming, I ran
back into the hall and dived intothe dining room. I don't think Nan
saw me. As she went fromthe kitchen and then down through the hall.
Dad was growling with pain. Hegot through into the kitchen just as

(54:02):
she'd reached the bottom of the stairs. Struggling with his balance, he swung
his arm, knocking the glass ofmilk into the air and spilling the plate
of cookies on the floor. I'mgonna make you pay this time. Nan
screamed and started scrambling up the stairs. She made her way up pretty fast,
with one hand on the banister,the other held out ahead for balance.

(54:25):
She got nearly all the way tothe top before Dad could limp to
the bottom, and then because shehad her head down. She didn't see
him Max at the top of thestairs, standing there sleepily. Nan lifted
her eyes, saw him and shriekedin surprise. She slipped, and down

(54:49):
she went. She tumbled all theway, rolling head over heels to the
bottom. She landed in a heap, right at Dad's feet. He made
no reaction at faith, He silentlystared down at her. Then the candlestick
slipped from his fingers. He tooka step backwards, rubbed his eyelids,

(55:09):
and shook his head. He finallypanicked and dropped to his knees. He
cried out to her, but shejust lay there, saying nothing and just
twitching, twitching, twitching. Nanwas being taken away by paramedics. Santa

(55:30):
wasn't real I'd made my brother soill, he looked like the living dead,
and I was getting a Nintendo Wiifor Christmas. It was such a
strange and confusing moment for me.My whole world had been shaken, but
also a Nintendo Wii. That waspretty sweet. Dad was a mess,

(55:51):
a wreck. I had an impulseto say sorry to him, but I
resisted. Honesty was not the bestpolicy. I knew better and kept to
my mouth shut. She's in astate of shock right now, said the
man from the ambulance. Will shebe okay, said Dad. She's got
some broken bones, said the paramedic, her leg obviously, but until she

(56:13):
comes around, I can't be surewhat else is broken or just bruised with
an X ray, but she's goingto be all right. Her heart rate
is very high. I don't thinkshe's in any danger, but she's been
hurt pretty bad. I don't knowhow bad yet, and she can't tell
me till she's come around. Theypulled up the rails on the side of
the gurney and started to move Nanout of the hall and across the threshold.

(56:37):
You go, I'll take care ofthings here, Mum said. I'll
call you as soon as I knowwhat's going on, said Dad. He
turned to get his coat and wincedagain as his legs stiffened up. You
know it was her right. Maxwas sitting on the bottom step, looking
like his own ghost. He lookedup at Dad and had bent down to

(57:00):
listen. She dropped the matchbox caron the landing while she was tidying up.
Max said, the one you trippedon. Grandpa knew, but she
made it part of her blackmail,so he never dared to tell you.
Slowly, Dad stood up straight again. What did he say? Asked mum.

(57:22):
Dad didn't answer. He turned toface the mirror in the hallway.
He was staring at his own reflection. What is it, Mum asked?
He stayed silent. Max, Whatdid you say? Mum insisted? Max
stood up and started to walk backupstairs. It was hard to see,

(57:44):
but I swear I saw Dad mouthingsomething to himself in the mirror, yet
he never made a sound. Theparamedic put his head through the front doorway.
She's awake and she's asking for you. Are you coming with us?
Dad remains still. The paramedic wasabout to repeat himself when Dad reached for

(58:07):
his coat. As he turned,he appeared less tired and more clear eyed.
He stepped across the threshold and saidto Mom, you put the kids
to bed, dear, And ashe pulled the door closed, he added,
I don't think I'll be gone forvery long. Thank you for listening

(58:36):
to the New Ghost Stories podcast.If you've enjoyed the podcast and want to
support what I do, please like, comment, or leave a review on
any platform and subscribe. To hearfuture releases. You can also support the
show by becoming a patron and Visitingpatreondot com slash New ghost Stories. The
show is written and produced by me, David Paul Nixon. If you'd like

(58:58):
to read more from me, visitmy substackneugostories dot substack dot com, and
you can also find me on Instagram, threads mastered on Facebook, and the
website formerly known as Twitter at newghostStories. Hope you enjoy the Christmas holidays.
I'll see you next time on ourannual New Year Bonus episode