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February 14, 2024 56 mins
Welcome to the BTR Edition of NEWS FOR THE SOUL: Life Changing Talk Radio from the Uplifting to the Unexplained. NFTS was launched in January 1997 as a positive news newspaper in the Vancouver, B.C. area in January 1997 by journalist Nicole Whitney. Over the years, NFTS evolved into the NFTS RADIO NETWORK http://www.newsforthesoul.com/shows-page/listen-live-2/
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(00:00):
Next on News for the Soul,Eyes Wide Open with Genessa and SJ.
We are multifaceted beings living in amulti dimensional existence. We hold the power
of perception. In this power alonepaints our reality. Perception influences the things
we see in the things we don'tsee. Together, we'll explore the mystical

(00:24):
and the material, the metaphysical andthe physical, the supernatural and the concrete,
the scene and the unseen. Pleasewelcome Jenessa and SJ back to News
for the Soul. So welcome tothe Eyes Wide Open show. This week,

(00:47):
Jenessa and I are talking about theenergetics of grief and in light of
that, we are also dedicating theshow to Genessa's grandmother, Maryland, who
are unfortunately past, but left abeautiful blessing to this earth as she moved
on her way, and in honorof her, I believe we have a

(01:07):
story about Maryland. We do.So, Hi, I'm one of your
hosts, Jonatha Finley Ford, andI am going to bring you Alla's a
mindset mastery emotional processing goodness. Sothe story about my grandma. The first
thing that comes to mind, thatis the funniest thing was after my grandfather

(01:33):
passed away, which just happened inApril of last year. My grandma remained
in her home for a few moremonths before she chose to move into assisted
living, which was something she hadwanted to do for a while. She
was very social and she loved activities. She loved being around people, and

(01:55):
you know, when you're ninety yearsold, taking care of a house and
a property just is a whole differentballgame and project. And my grandma used
to walker and she would use thatwalker on wheels nearly every single place she
went, except for when she hada gun. There was a video my

(02:19):
cousin got to witness this, andI'm so grateful that he captured it.
So my grandma had a couple ofbird feeders that they could watch through their
living room window, and there werevarmints getting her birds and this was not
okay with her, so she tookher beauby gun outside to get rid of
the varmit. And it was justso hilarious watching my grandma who's giggling and

(02:46):
like cracking herself up, and she'strying to shoot the animals that she can't
hold the gun straight to get aclear shot with her baby gun at the
animals, and then she laughed thework and she stops and she kind of
covers her mouth because she's giggling.And you know that was really I feel

(03:07):
like part of the essence of her. There was always this this jovial spirit
underneath it all. So hopefully thatbrings a smile to your face. And
please, please don't, please don'treplace your walker if you use one with

(03:30):
a gun. I would never suggestthat, but it works out for her
public service announcement. Right, So, grief and love. Let's talk about
love, because today's the day oflove. Then who doesn't love love?

(03:50):
Valentine's say, sending everyone out therea huge heap of love. Also,
something my grandma was just this absolutepower of unconditional love. Accepted you and
loved you no matter what. Andgrief and love have a really close connection
because oftentimes the amount of grief thatwe feel, people will say is a

(04:16):
reflection of the amount of love thatyou had to that person. So when
we talk about grief in terms oflosing a loved one, even look at
it in that angle, but alsoif you look at it from something that
you don't experience, which is agreat point that as Jay brought up last

(04:36):
night and our Stronger Together call inour community about the things that we grieve
that we want to have happened,and they don't come to be the amount
of love that we believe we wouldexperience if we had lived. That experience
of life can really also correlate intothe amount of grief that we feel,

(05:01):
so it's nothing more. While itmay seem very counterintuitive to talk about grief
on the day of love, maybethis actually free up space in your being
to process some of the grief thatyou have been carrying with you so that
you can experience more love, self, love, love for others, love

(05:21):
of life, and release the weightthat comes with grief when we carry it
around and don't fully go into itand pros. Yeah. Last night in
our Stronger Together live feed, youshared the stages of grief and how they

(05:42):
move or progress forward as well,and a family member brought up, Oh
my gosh, I'm still stuck inthe portion of anger. And I said,
did you muscle test that or isthat just cognitively the feeling that you
have going on right now? Andshe's like, Oh, I didn't muscle
test it. And when you startlooking at those stages that Genessa shared,
which just to briefly share them areshock, denial, anger, so anger

(06:06):
would have been third up on thelist for the stages of processing, then
bargaining, depression, testing, andacceptance. And then when I just feel
like it's so important to share,like she wasn't hanging out in anger,
she's actually when you hanging out inthe testing phase, which Genessa had shared
with us in a Stronger Together community, that you kind of moved through our

(06:30):
bounce around a couple of the previousstages that you've already hung out in,
and just the amount of I don'tknow if it's like freedom or gratefulness that
she wasn't in one stage versus theother, but understanding how that testing can
really play out and how it canlook. And it's not something that when

(06:50):
I connect with my own grief,it's not something that lasts days. Like
there's no timeline of it right,Like there's no time of it's normal to
be in testing for three weeks,it's normal to be in testing for two
hours, it's normal to be intesting for five years. There's no timeline
with how best to process grief orhow long it takes and I think in

(07:13):
our human experience, one of thethings that we really like is qualitative things
like how long am I going tobe here? How long am I going
to have this emotional experience before Ican move on to the next. And
I think we lose a lot ofthe beauty that can come with the full
processing of grief, grief a lotof the learnings that can come with it

(07:36):
as well, but also the honoringof you know, a love perhaps that
was lost, or grief can showup in ways of grieving a job you
never got right, like, There'sso many things that we can have grief
show up for. But I thinkit's so important to normalize that it is
an individual experience and there is noright or wrong way to go through that

(08:00):
process. There's no timeline that iscorrect or ripe or the way to do
it. It's all about your experienceand you get to choose, you know,
how you move through that as itbeing mind, body, and soul.
Of course, energetics can assist withreally getting to those roots of what
do we need to know about thisstage? But I just think it's so

(08:20):
beautiful because grief is something that onlyyou own. Only you get to own
that grief that you feel and noone else can really tell you how to
what to do with it or whatit looks or feels like. Grief is
for sure an individual journey, andon average they say that it takes one

(08:45):
to two years to traverse through atypical grief cycle. And just to get
a little context to testing that Sjayhad mentioned, because I'm not sure if
everyone out there has heard of theconcept within the grief processing, but grief
is really learning life in this newchapter, and so the testing phase is

(09:09):
really trying out different solutions, copingmechanisms to deal with the loss and the
new life on these new terms thatyou find yourself in. So if you're
not familiar with testing, I justwanted to bring that get down into the
weeks with it just a little bitmore so you can apply that in your

(09:31):
own process, excuse me, withgrief. Grief can be so sneaky,
and when you're in a grief cyclefor one to two years, oh man,
sometimes it can be hard to evenidentify that it's grief. And I

(09:54):
have this reflection. I feel likethis is one of the things with losing
my grandma that I I really beganto see in myself. Another departing gifts
from her was the fact that Ihad been in this what seemed like an
eternity as grief for the past eighteenmonths to two years, with the situation

(10:16):
that my husband and I were walkingthrough. All the while that I was
walking through it, I did notrealize that all of this was the grief
process. There was, you know, so much trauma involved in our story
and a lot of I don't knowif you want to call them distractions,
but it felt like really distracting.There's always the next thing to deal with

(10:39):
and a process, and so theways that these stages of grief showed up
for me wasn't necessarily how I hadexperienced grief in other areas. So,
you know, when other grandparents hadpassed away, I went through the grief

(11:01):
cycle much more quickly, or otheryou know, areas of life that had
brought breath into sing for me didn'tdidn't last as long, and so I
had a much clearer understanding of oh, I'm I'm angry, look at this
like next is is bargaining? Thereit is? And now oh the sadness.

(11:24):
Because depression, that's just how Iconnect depression is to sadness right,
everything's right on time, right ontrack. So when you're in such a
long season of grief, when itdoesn't move through so quickly and it's the
enormous new chapter of life, theway that you experience it can be tricky

(11:46):
to put your finger on. Sofor me, specifically, the anger that
I felt was internalized. I wasvery angry with myself. That may sound
weird because on the surface I wouldthink consciously trying to connect to it.
If I were going to be angryin the situation, I would have been
angry with the system. I wouldhave been angry with the whole lot of
other outward factors or contributors to whatwe experienced. But I really didn't have

(12:16):
a lot of that. I'm notgoing to say I didn't have any of
it, but I feel like thatpart of the anger I processed through really
quickly. The part of the angerI didn't process through quickly was being angry
with myself or the depression. Forme really showed up as becoming more of
our permit. I've always been introvertedand so this was nothing new. And

(12:37):
I suppose when your husband is publishedin national news media in not a positive
life more than one time, there'seven that stronger desire to have safety and
to stay in your space. Andso these are the things that I rationalized
as like, oh, I justwant to stay in It's probably because this

(13:00):
faith and this is comfortable, andI didn't have a lot of motivation.
And I thought I didn't have alot of motivation just because I was so
tired. There had been so muchto go through and the emotions it just
took a lot of energy when actuallywhat I was overlooking was being in the
depression phase or cycle of going throughthe grief. And so I really bring

(13:24):
this up for you guys today becausewhere sometimes it should be so obvious and
that we are experiencing grief and we'regoing through the various stages of that process,
we overlook it because grief can comewith such chaotic events that have so
many moving parts and pieces that underneaththe surface that grief that's there, it

(13:50):
gets overlooked. It just does.Yeah, grief is one of those things
too that I think anybody who's workingwith it, even from like a chakra
stands, we immediately go to,oh I feel the grief. I need
to work that heart chakras space,I need to really focus on releasing from
the heart. But the origination ofwhere that emotion grief first starts from is

(14:13):
truly the sacral chakra. That's wherethe emotion all of them, That's where
all of those emotions can stem from. And oftentimes if we're working with the
chakras to process grief, we haveto break it down into the stages.
You can't just go like, oh, I'm gonna work the grief itself in
the heart. We would go tothat as sacral chakra and say, all
right, grief is the overlying energeticsthat we have going on. But is

(14:37):
there something we need to know aboutthe shock, the denial? Is there
something we need to know about theanger or the bargaining or the sadness that's
coming forward in order to get tothe acceptance space, which is that last
stage and when you start connecting withthat, I mean, I'm a huge
proponent. Of course, if youguys have followed the show, you all

(14:58):
know this of muscle testing or pendto figure out where you're at and which
area is not processing in a balancedmanner, because the reality is is we
can't go from shock to acceptance withoutprocessing the entirety of the past. Either
there isn't necessarily an easy button oflet me get from point A to point

(15:20):
Z without having to live the experienceof that lost or the grief that can
come forward. We can navigate iteasier, we can navigate it more gracefully,
we can have assistance and feel comfortthrough the process, but we do
still have to have the process.I don't think that we can ever have

(15:43):
grief without truly especially when it's witha person, without truly having felt an
intense love for the individual as well. And grief is almost that, it's
almost the evidence, like that evidentiarystatus of I have life in a way
that now my being has to processwhat that loss looks like from a grief

(16:04):
stance too. So when you're connectingin with your grief, if you're kind
of having difficulty processing or leaning intoit, certainly moving into that sacral chakra
is going to probably help a wholelot more than focusing on the heart chakra
if the chakra system is something thatyou're looking at working with to help process
the grief. Absolute scalar waves areamazing and available to everyone without having any

(16:32):
tools, So asking those absolute scalarwaves to come into that sacral chakra and
assist with the processing of wherever you'reat within that stage of grief can be
truly amazing to help lean into thator gather the learnings that you need to
know, the knowings that need tocome forward in order for you to process
fully from a crystal stance with workingwith that sacral chakra. I love bloodstone,

(16:56):
especially if it is a loss ofa loved one or ancestor that we
are trying to move through the process. So bloodstone is beautiful for a crystal
to work with when processing. Apachetears is probably one if you Google search
you'll find I like it for asmall period of time. I don't like

(17:17):
it for more than because it doeshave an obsidian component where you can numb
a bit with even Apache tears whenprocessing grief, and I think that's okay
for like a fifteen minute or soreprieve, but probably not something that is
actually assisting with the true processing.It's just giving excuse me, the being
a bit of a break. Anothercrystal that I really love at the sacral

(17:41):
chakra that's not commonly used there ismalakite. Malakite is beautiful at helping us
really acknowledge, see or accept whatwe don't necessarily want to see, acknowledge
or accept. So from a crystalstance, those would be my main ones
to take a look towards. Ofcourse, it is a very individualized experience

(18:03):
though too, so you may havea different crystal that resonates with you,
which I always say your being knowsbest. So if you are vibing with
something like a fluoride or a moonstoneto help process that grief, then absolutely
lean into that and go with whatyour intuition says you should do. From

(18:25):
an elemental stance, water, certainly, ensuring that we are hydrated when we
are trying to process anything is goingto be helpful, because truly water is
what helps us lean into our intuition. It's also what connects us to our
emotions outside of the limiting beliefs,and it also helps us transition into a
new flow in the easiest manner.So sometimes drinking some water is the best

(18:49):
solution, even when we're processing somethingheavy like grief as well. Can you
simply feel the heaviness in the collectiveright now just as we're talking about this
topic. It's so interesting how weconnect negative connotations to grief. I mean,

(19:11):
let's be honest, too wants tosign up for a tour through grief?
Not really any of us, Right, it's not the most amazing thing
to experience, but there's it's likeone of the taboo topics really out there,
like we don't want to really talkabout death and dying and we don't.
I don't know anytime I've ever askedanyone, hey, how are you

(19:34):
doing and they tell me, oh, I'm grieving, so right, like
we just don't get into into conversationsaround it and less we're seeking out those
spaces that hold support for that.So as we talk about this and it
brings some of the grief up foryou all who are listening, I just

(19:56):
want you to take a few deepbreaths, and we're going to help process
through and release some of that griefswe as we connect here in this space
today, because we definitely don't wantto carry any more of it forward when
it's ready to be released. Sojust take some intentional releasing deep breaths and

(20:21):
maybe that release is going to comewith some tears, maybe you'll feel a
surge of anger. Just honoring andacknowledging whatever is moving through you. The
really incredible thing of grief is thatit's an opportunity to reveal you, Reveal

(20:48):
more of you, reveal the trueyou, reveal the authentic parts of you.
It's an opportunity to go deeper withinyourself, especially as we lose particularly
family members, because when we're little, we have needs that we have to
have met from other people, anda lot of our journey is learning how

(21:11):
to meet all of our own needsand not to put our needs on other
people. And when we have thesefamily members who have given us the needs
that we've always met and then welose them, if we're not creating ways
for us to meet our own needs, then we can forever feel that loss.
We can ever forever feel that voidand that lacking. And there's really

(21:38):
a lot of beautiful things that canhappen when you go within and allow degrees
to reveal more of your own power, more of your own ability for incredible
self love, more of your ownconnections, and more of your own fulfillment.
And so there is us a littlebit of a blessing in disguise when

(22:02):
we're able to view it that wayof not only all the gifts that we've
gotten from the people that we've lovedand lost, but all of the gifts
that come on the other side ofit, as we continue to fortify our
ability to meet our own needs andto create all of our inner parenting,

(22:23):
in our inner world and our innerstructure. That we may have been looking
outside of ourselves for all along,because that's really how we're raised, and
then we have to switch that outsidespeaking to the inner seeking. So I
think it's also really important. Wetalked about brief a lot here so far

(22:44):
today in terms of lost family members, because of course, with my grandma
pappening a few weeks ago, thatset the tone for the conversation. However,
I don't want to overlook the factthat grief also comes from divorce.
It can come from a deep betrayalby someone who you never thought would turn

(23:07):
their back on you or betray youin some way. It can come from
a career ending or job loss unexpectedly. It can come from a whole bunch
of different situations. And you know, for me personally, it came from,
you know, this loss of thelife that I knew and I thought

(23:29):
I loved that there is something betteron the other side of that whole situation,
and so having a lot of compassionfor yourself as you walk your journey
and the road through grief, becauseif you look for it and your intentional
and your mindful and your conscious,the amount of gifts that you're going to

(23:51):
receive from grievings is going to makeit entirely worse the journey. Yeah,
I so agree, good point withthat too. When you start to think
about like the amount of space thatis made through a grieving process, of
that release, of kind of thatletting go, like what are you going
to fill that space with and yourbeing? What are you going to choose

(24:17):
to take its place? You know? And I think that's where we really
all have that huge opportunity to selectsomething that is either uplifting or perhaps not
right. I think that we've probablyall have either been through or seen a
grieving price process where that space isfilled with hate rather than love instead,

(24:41):
or bitterness or something that is lessthan desirable. And then you think about
that, like the weight that's beencarried forward, if that's the selection that's
made without really looking inward and saying, you know, what do I want
this space to be? What doI want it to be filled with?
Like, do I truly want tocarry the burden of hate or bitterness?

(25:04):
Or do I want something new?Do I want a new way of doing
life? Do I want it tobe filled with love, contentment, peace,
joy, happiness, cheerfulness. SoI think there's also a portion within
the grieving process where we get toreally reflect, like you touched on,
of what are we filling that spacewith as we let go of that releasing

(25:26):
process, what new is coming in? What are we going to select to
be there in its stead? AndI just think what a huge opportunity to
almost have an entire reinvention of selfat the end of a grieving process.
If you can be something completely new, you can affirm that who you were
prior is exactly where you want tobe, or you can select something that

(25:49):
you would have never dreamed of priorto the grieving process. The metamorphosis that
can come out of a grieving processis beautiful, it's huge, it's extraordinary,
and it's something that I think wedon't put a lot of emphasis on
when we're looking at what is thegift of grieving? And I truly think

(26:11):
it's that metamorphosis. And I mean, of course, like w if I
start to lean into those shamanic aspects. Like the butterfly. I feel like
it's an amazing spirit animal to workwith through a grieving process. Of what
are you going to turn into?You know, when we have that grieving
process, do we all retreat tothat cocoon of silence and solitude and just

(26:32):
being with ourselves? Yeah? Probably, that probably is something that we all
have through a grieving process. Butwhat are you going to emerge as when
you decide to come back into thatlight of day and rejoin you know,
the people, the individuals, theworld around you. What does that look
like? How does it feel?What do you want it to be?
You know, do you want toemerge as that beautiful colored butterfly? That's

(26:53):
something that no one has ever seenbefore. I think we probably all strive
for that if we're retive and lookinginward to you know, what am I
going to look like on the otherside? What does my life look like
on the other side? And sometimeslooking at that future. I don't want
to say we want to look toofar into the future because we have to
stay in the present as well,but what does your future look like on

(27:15):
the other side of grief? Cancertainly bring a lot of joy and comfort
to that process too of what's it, what's it like in two years,
what's it like in five years?What do I think, feel and see?
Then? Yeah, I think aswe garner that hope from looking to

(27:38):
the completion of a grief cycle,it's a great opportunity to mention that sometimes
for those that know the stage saysgrief or have heard of them, have
a miss number around the fact thataccepted is that end line, the finish
line of grief when it is actuallyacceptance is accepting the loss, accepting the

(28:04):
new reality. You're still going tohave emotions and feelings. Potentially everyone's different,
but it's very common to still havemore processing through the grease and to
revisit some of the other phases ofthe grees even once you get to acceptance,
acceptances, and the completion of thegrease cycle, then is the portion

(28:26):
of it? So I am curiouswhat you see within your modalities and your
experience of particularly grief and loss offamily members, how the loss of the
family members affect the family dynamics andif those family patterns just stop once that

(28:49):
person passes. Yeah, I thinkI'll leave the question at that for now
well as the family pattern or dynamicsstop once that person passes, I would
say from my experience, no,it doesn't just end. That energetic thread.

(29:10):
That chord is still present within thefamily line until someone or a few
people choose to sever and release thatchord, that thread of that pattern.
And I mean, it really islike a tapestry, like you have to
unravel it for it to truly besomething different. And you know, with
the unravel there's also a rebuild,a remake of the tapestry into something completely

(29:33):
new. So no, the patternis still present. It wasn't ever actually
about just that person, especially whenwe're talking about family dynamics, because it
takes more than one person to createa dynamic. So even if we lose
that one individual that perhaps the blamewas placed on for creating the family dynamic,

(29:53):
it's still present. There were otherparticipants in those energetics, and to
those other participants are either still withus in this world or have passed down
their belief systems to someone else withinthe family as well. So it's a
new taking the place. Someone elsemight take the place of that matriarch or

(30:14):
patriarch that passed in their role orcharacter that they were playing, but the
dynamics are all still there. Ithink that there is always, especially when
we lose a matriarch or a patriarchof a family, like when we lose
those like figureheads. I think thereis always that kind of shuffling of the
deck is always what comes to mymind of who is going to assume that

(30:40):
role of guiding of leading, Who'sgoing to take that place? And I
think sometimes those can be sticky energeticsbecause oftentime we're talking about parents that oldest
sibling assumes that it must be them, even if perhaps that's not really a
role they want to play, likemaybe they don't want to have that responsibility

(31:00):
for guiding the family, or maybethey overtake that responsibility of oh my gosh,
I am a failure I family ifI can't keep it together. So
there can be a huge responsibility shift, sometimes in unbalanced and unhealthy ways,
when we lose individuals within a family, of almost pushing ourselves into a role

(31:22):
that perhaps we don't even want tobe in, when we could create something
completely different within our family dynamics thanwhat was there. And I think it's
interesting to me because cognitively, oftentimeswe see the dysfunction, but then we'll
still lean into keeping the status quobecause that's what feels comfortable or the norm,

(31:45):
even if we would if you askthat individual like, do you truly
believe that XYZ is true? Theywould say no cognitively, but if you
look at the actions, I thinksometimes we just default as humans to what
we know and what feels normal,even if cognitively we know that it's not
balanced. And that's why I say, like, it can't all be cognitive,

(32:08):
can't all be about what you think. It also has to be that
entire embodiment of who we are asa spirit, soul and an individual as
well. Yeah, there's for surea correlation between the amount of you know,
if you want to call them familypatterns or grievances that are held within

(32:30):
the family member and the grieving processand what that's like for each individual.
And so the cleaner energy that youcan do life and do relationship with does
ease the experience as you go throughgrief. And so I am really grateful

(32:52):
with both of my grandparents that havepassed just within this last year to have
the relationships that I had with them, and I got to spend around a
week or just a little less withboth of them right before they're passing.
And you know, like I mentioned, like the taboo topics, we don't
really talk about death or dying awhole lot in our society or culture,

(33:15):
and I just feel compelled to sharethat is so freaking sacred, Like it's
such a sacred time to be presentin someone's life, and I know it
takes a certain character to be ableto be there and to be compassionate and

(33:36):
caring, and so a shout outto all the people who work in hospice
and can walk through that transition withpeople every day for what they do,
it's incredible. But the memories thatI made and those last few days with
both of my grandparents are you know, life lessons that I'm going to carry
with me always and absolutely like they'vedid things within me to see that side

(34:02):
of our spiritual reality and to seethe physical and the spiritual and coming into
the world and out of the world, and why there's a laboring process with
both for some but not for others. And it's also stirred a lot of
questions to discover more about our existenceand our spiritual essence and how that connects

(34:30):
to the physical and why it's harderto release than not. But this is
probably a topic for a whole newepisode, so I'll bring it back on
track to grief and grieving. Butif you are able to spend that time
with the loved ones and to havesome closure, like you're never going to
have full closure, that's not whatI'm asserting here at all, but to

(34:52):
have some closure with the relationship thatyou've had with them, with any hardships
that you've experienced throughout life. Ithonors not only yourself but the person who
is passing on as well to havethose clean closures, clean energetic threads tidied

(35:15):
up. So it's a blessing reallythat keeps on giving in so many ways.
And so that's another aspect of degreejourney that you can really reflect on
and look at, is what areasare there grudges or hardships or regrets where

(35:37):
have you not felt like you didenough, were enough? You know,
not so much necessarily with the lossof the loved one, but perhaps the
loss of the job or loss ofthe chapter in life, and really make
amends with yourself for you knew whatyou knew at the time you did the

(35:59):
best you could, and now youhave all this additional wisdom from the situation
to carry forward, and that reallyallows you to transmute and optimize the grief
on the negative emotions that come withgrief, and to inspire more of that
hope, that metamorphosis, that betterside energy into what is coming out on

(36:22):
the other side once you emerge.Yeah, And I just want to shout
out to the people who are perhapslistening to the show, like, oh
man, I missed out, Ididn't have that experience loved ones or even
how they could process it with ajob, like what came up, what
didn't. It's okay, there's noloss because you can still do it from

(36:45):
a spirit to spirit stance. Soeven if your past love one is already
gone and you didn't have that timeto spend with them, you can absolutely
lean into the spirit to spirit whereyou speak to their higher self and correspond
that way to gather any of thoselearnings that were necessary to fully go through
that grieving process. Like, there'sabsolutely no loss in not having that.

(37:07):
And I know oftentimes within family members, perhaps there's so much dysfunction that you
can't have that amicable experience even atthe end of their life as they're crossing
over. But what you can dois have amicable experience with their higher self
and really trying to lean into thatwhat do we need to gather, what

(37:29):
do we need to work through fromthat higher self experience rather than the individual
person. There's definitely no loss withthis, And I think that that's one
of my favorite phrases that Janessa hasever come up with as well, is
there's never any loss. There's alwayssomething to be gained, there's always opportunity,
there's always I don't know, Likeevery time I think of Janessa and

(37:52):
even our relationship, I think ofthe sun versus the moon, and she's
always been that like shining light forthe people around her too. It's always
that sun, that light after thedark. Thank you I receive, And
now I've totally forgotten what I wasgoing to say. That's all right.

(38:15):
Like when we start leading into grief, like I feel like it can get
so heavy, like we can getso trodden into the heaviness of it that
we oftentimes overlook like the cheerfulness andthe funny that can come through that grieving
process too, Like there's those weirdmemories still that like I can be crying
and laughing at the same time througha grieving process, and that goes for

(38:37):
even the loss of a job.Like let me just out myself. I
want to say it was Was ittwenty nineteen or twenty twenty, doesn't matter
that timeframe where I feel like weall got to experience a grieving process in
one form or another. I wasso sad, so disappointed, so upset,
truly grieving that I wasn't selected fora job that I had applied for.

(39:01):
And I laugh at myself in retrospect. I didn't even want that job.
I didn't like the people I wouldhave been working with. I would
have hated having to be that traininginstructor for material that I didn't even believe
in, Like I thought what theywere going to have me train was garbage.
And if you know me as anenneagram seven, how happy am I

(39:22):
going to be training stuff that's illogical, doesn't make sense and has no use
in an actionary stance. I wouldhave hated my life, But at that
time I was breathing hardcore like amI not good enough? Like all of
it? Like I don't understand whyI wasn't selected. So much anger,
so much bargaining too, of likewell maybe if I had done it this

(39:43):
way, or if I try this, then they'll still see me pick me
that. Now, when I lookback on that process, like what a
blessing to have been denied something thatI would have hated it literally hated,
And there's not often many things thatI hate. But looking at that grieving
process now, like was there sadness, Yes, there's also so much gratefulness

(40:07):
that took its place, and thattrue, like thank goodness, I was
connected into that source energy enough thatit prevented me from having to have that
detrimental experience that would have done nothingbut hold me back from where I'm going
to. So I just think again, another one of Genesa's phrases, there's

(40:27):
always that and both. There's more. You can have grief and you can
have cheer. You can have griefand still be happy. All of those
things can happen together. It's notone or the other, like we don't
have the enneagram seven this of allor nothing, like we can definitely choose
a couple of things that can happenat the same time in the middle of
the spectrum. I've had several peoplereach out to me since my Grandma's passed

(40:54):
and share stories of losing loved onesand how they have more contact or support
from that loved one now across thedale in the afterlife than what they felt
like they had in the physical,which is such a comforting thing really,

(41:16):
So I just want to mention thatfor people who are like living in that
void or the loss, if they'refeeling as though that loved one is gone
gone and they are not able toconnect with them or don't even know how.

(41:36):
As Jay has an awesome journey andexperience to connect with a past loved
one, And I would highly recommendyou, guys, if that is something
that would meet you where you arein your journey, to check it out
and to be able to establish thatcontact and have that comfort because we are

(41:59):
more and just here in the physical, so might as well take advantage of
it, right And if you areinterested in learning how to connect more with
that spiritual, reach out to us. We can set up a session or
an experience for you guys to startconnecting in and feeling and communicating with loved

(42:23):
ones. So if that's something thatwould help you in your grief process,
we are here for it. Letus know, I know you've done a
lot of really beautiful work around whensomeone has passed signing, like not signing
them up, but moving them overto a guide team rather than staying tethered

(42:45):
or attached to them. Can youtalk a little bit about how that can
look. How can you discern thatyou are holding onto someone in an imbalanced
manner? Well, muscle testing right, but answer for everything. This is
really a much more common phenomenon thanwhat you might think just out there listening

(43:07):
to this topic. It's something quitecommon that I experienced with new clients because
if you think about when you losesomeone, especially when you're younger, or
someone who's really profound, profound rolein your life, there's so much that

(43:27):
you get from them. So,like I was talking about earlier, with
our needs being met and learning tomeet our own needs, when we feel
as though there are needs that wecan't meet ourselves unconsciously, then we want
to stay connected to that individual becausethey were so sad fast in giving us
what we needed. And so itcan be a conscious thing, but it's

(43:52):
much much much more common for itto be unconscious, and it's not always
just a person. It can alsobe a pet, think about how unconditionally
loving and supportive pets are. Soalso people will attach to the spirit of
a lost loved one or pets,and instead of having that attachment, we

(44:17):
want connections rather than attachments. Thenwe can, you know, muscle test
and discern if it's best for thatenergy to stay and be a part of
your guide team or your guidance ratherthan being attached to it and not working

(44:38):
as a team in tandem. Ithink there's more when you're attached to it.
It's more of kind of a pushpull energy versus a slow energy.
Yeah, and when they're connected tothe guides team, Like That's one thing
that I find so interesting for myments mods mentality modal as well, is

(45:00):
that the way you communicate with someoneon the guide team can feel a little
bit different than a different past lovedone that isn't on the guide team.
I feel like there's a different motivatorfor the guide team member versus someone who
is just a past loved one.And I say just not in the manner
of like they have no roll.Still, that's not at all what I

(45:21):
mean, but certainly it can feeldifferent when you're trying to connect with them.
And I feel like one of thebest ways to connect with someone on
the guide team is actually from thatsecond trans personal chakra, which is about
two feet above your head, ratherthan from the heart chakra, which kind
of feels interesting as well that ratherthan coming from it from that heart space,

(45:45):
you're coming to it from that intuitiveguide information like hey, I need
some assistance here, or perhaps evenit's just the knowing that they are still
around. But that second trans personalchakra, like asking your question from that
space, if someone's on your guideteam, can sometimes get a little bit
quicker of answers and results coming intoplay too. Great tips. As you're

(46:15):
talking, my brain is doing thisthing where it's like there's six things to
say, and then I'm like,I'm not sure what I'm going to say.
I do want to touch this brieflyon the overlap between the grieving process
and trauma and the different you know, we always talk about faw trauma.

(46:36):
I call it a sixteen layer cake. There's a palletero different emotions that stack
upon one another, and there's alot of similarity between lost trauma and grief,
and so I just want to pointthat out for anyone out there who
you know is working their own energy. I know the Lost Trauma is posted

(47:02):
in our Stronger Together community. Iwas just thinking about if that outline was
anywhere else, because it's the publicresource. If you're interested in that,
you can reach out to me seriouslyradiusful at yahoo dot com. Its be
happy to share it with you.But it's very intriguing to see how the
lost trauma and grief really seem togo hand in hand, and so being

(47:30):
able to dress both of those aspectsis really important to continuing to move through
your own grief process. Yeah,and a couple of like spirit guides to
kind of work with anyone that isworking with the more shamanic aspects too when

(47:51):
processing through grief. Just to gothrough a few of those. We've already
kind of touched on the butterfly andthe metamorphosis, which is a great one.
But I also think OWL is fantasticfor trying to connect into the wisdoms
that that grief is leaving behind we'reinside as well, to lead us really
into more of that introspective place tooof what are your wisdoms that you're pulling

(48:15):
forward, but perhaps like if it'sa past loved one, what are the
wisdoms from that individual that you cantake forth as well. Just like Jenessa
was talking about earlier, there wasa lot of wisdoms from both of her
grandparents that came forward that she'll carrywith us or with her now until forever
too. I think we all havethat. I think we can reclaim those

(48:36):
two if we missed that tangible opportunityto claim those wisdoms. And owl energetics
is amazing to connect into any wisdomsthat you think you need or need to
connect with cognitively as well. Ialso love elephants energetics when grieving too,
to really connect to those memories thatwe want to cherish and pull forward that

(49:01):
can bring a lot of comfort andstrength to us during the grieving process as
well. That elephant energy is beautifulto connect there too. And then two
more I would say wolf, butI don't know if that's just because I
adore the wolf energetics to bring forwardstrength but also resilience. There's so much

(49:23):
resilience that can come forward with thatspirit animal as well. So if you
kind of feel like you can't dothe grieving process, those wolf energetics would
be amazing for you to lean inand connect to. And then last but
not least, is the dolphin energeticsof still finding joy, still finding that

(49:45):
playful nature and that childhood gleefulness eventhrough the heaviness of grief. Dolphin is
there to really remind us to celebratethe positive that came from this. And
there's so many positives if you're grieving, because if you're grieving, you also
loved, So really connecting into thosecherished memories with that dolphin energetics can bring

(50:09):
a lightness to us that we don'toften get to connect with or experience with
grief as well. So just acouple of spirit guide animals to connect with.
You can connect with spirit animals inso many different ways. Sometimes it's
literally just looking at the animal,so Google search connecting. That's one way.

(50:30):
Any movies that come forward as well. I mean, when I think
of that dolphin energy, what bettermovie than Slipper to go watch that to
try to connect with that cheerfulness andthat gleefulness. And I don't know if
anybody remembers Slipper, but there's griefwithin Flipper as well as that joy and
that cheerfulness. So I think oftentimeslike modern technology and media has given us

(50:52):
gifts that we often overlook, likethere's an easy way to connect with dolphin
as your spirit animal or the energeticsof it, just by watching a show
of Slipper that was designed for children. So much wisdom within some of those
childhood shows as well. Of course, shamanic journey if you want to get
into those, definitely is a wayto connect with any of those spirit animal

(51:16):
energetics. There's quite a few ofthose options within our Stronger Together platform,
but YouTube is also a great placeprobably search for dolphin journeys, and I
bet you can find a shamanic journeythat you can either modify or one that's
already detailed for that too. Soso many, so many options to connect

(51:37):
with the shamanic aspects or modalities Slipper. I love this and the joy is
so true. I swam with thedolphins and you literally feel their joy and
they're so intelligent. As we're gettingcloser to the top of the hour,

(51:57):
I do want to just acknowledge amess of grief. Grief is just messy.
I mean, I know that wehave been speaking about the gifts and
the revealing and the learning, andit really does have a lot of good
things to offer, but it's notnecessarily a process to keep nice and tidy
and to color within the lines andyou know, to just go in your

(52:23):
closet and cry alone. Like,grief is messy, it just is.
That's part of the human experience,as part of the end bolt that as
Jay was talking about, like,yeah, there is a lot of positive
to it, and yes, there'salso a lot of emotion to it.
There's a lot of not comfortable partsof it, and that's okay. The

(52:47):
thing really about our mess is thatwe lack the confidence that we're going to
come out the other side, andwe have this fear that we you know,
we don't know how to get throughit, and so are we ever
going to make it through? Andif you're in a grief cycle that really
legitimately is lasting one to two years, or if you're experiencing complex grief where

(53:09):
it's been several years it's not justtwo years, it can be such a
discouragement to not really have confidence thatyou're going to come out the other side
of it. And so I justwant to really acknowledge and speak to you
know, the messy part of griefand that's okay. Like, It doesn't

(53:30):
mean that you're lesson It doesn't meanthat you're weak. It doesn't mean that
you're not going to make it through. It doesn't mean that you're making a
bigger mess because you feel like amess or you have messy emotions as you
go through it. If you haven'theard our episode on emotions, go back
and listen to that, because wetalked about how our emotions really do have

(53:52):
wisdom for us. They have giftsto offer us, and so all of
those messy emotions that come to theycome through with gifts too. Just oftentimes
we really want to not feel thatnegative emotions so badly that we also ignore

(54:13):
or don't take the time to lookat what it is that it's offering us.
Yeah, and if you want tokind of explore more of that grief
process or you want assistance with movingthrough that, that is what we're focusing
all months in the Stronger Together communityas well, So I invite you to

(54:34):
come into that community. In thatspace, you can find access points of
course within the Eyes Wide Open platformhere, but also on fiercely radiantsoul dot
com or Crystalincurrents dot com too.Jenness and I both offer connection calls to
which you can find upon our websitesor within our Facebook page Stronger Together.

(54:54):
I would love to have you inthere and explore that grief process with us
as a collective full wisdom that isshared within that group where there are so
many different perspectives of people who aretruly walking much the same path though,
and with that we just gather thewisdoms from other people's experiences or family dynamics

(55:15):
that we wouldn't have the opportunity toif it wasn't happening in that group setting.
So I just feel like we getso much from group settings that we
would never get in an individual,one on one basis that truly is worthwhile
of diving in and seeing if that'sa good fit for you as well.
Group would have never been something Iwould have leaned into in my early days,

(55:37):
and now that I've experienced it,there's nothing better than really coming to
a space of a community that issupportive and also really invested in not just
themselves but each other's learned experiences andmoving through life and traversing it so much
more gracefully knowing that you're not doingit alone. So I invite you to

(55:58):
come into that space with us aswell. Yeah, for sure, and
it was so profound seeing the changein people's thinking and feeling from the beginning
fall to the end like mind blowing. So we are at the top of
the hours. Join me back herenext week for another episode with just yours

(56:21):
truly, and until then, friends, keep your eyes wide open.
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