All Episodes

February 16, 2024 55 mins
Welcome to the BTR Edition of NEWS FOR THE SOUL: Life Changing Talk Radio from the Uplifting to the Unexplained. NFTS was launched in January 1997 as a positive news newspaper in the Vancouver, B.C. area in January 1997 by journalist Nicole Whitney. Over the years, NFTS evolved into the NFTS RADIO NETWORK http://www.newsforthesoul.com/shows-page/listen-live-2/
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This is Nicole Whitney News for theSoul, life changing talk radio from the
uplifting to the unexplayed. News forthe Soul is now and it's twenty fifth
year of broadcasting. Tune in liveor visit the archives at Newsworthsoul dot com.
That's Newsforthsoul dot com. Next,it's time for Indigenous People's Perspectives with

(00:35):
Diane hill On News for the Soul. Let's bring her on to reintroduce herself,
her show, and her guests fortoday. Hi, good afternoon everyone.
I'm really delighted to be back onthe air today with my guests today
on Indigenous People's Perspectives. And myguest today is Crystal Klatt and she's board

(01:00):
member at the Sarnia Lampton Native FriendshipCenter in Sarnia, Ontario. And I
met Chrystal at a training at aboard training that I was invited to do
related to fostering the emergence of thegood mind. So on my show Indigenous
People's Perspectives, we want to covera lot of different viewpoints from different people

(01:23):
on a number of different topics.But today I thought that we would focus
on Crystal's experience and she's willing tocome on air and talk about her experience
which is a little bit different thanwhat perhaps most people would think about speaking
on And it's Crystal's experience as ahomemaker. And I say it's unusual to

(01:47):
have this experience because most people,and most Indigenous people in particular, are
really working hard to just make aliving, to pay the bills, to
get by in life. And Crystalhas a neat story and that she is
able to not have to worry aboutwork. She's not has, she doesn't
have to go out and leave thehome. She's a homemaker. She stays

(02:09):
with her children. Now she hasshe'll tell you and we get on the
air in a few minutes, she'lltell you that she does have a child
who is a special needs but that'snot the reason why Christay's home. And
I think it's really going to bea great story to cover the perspective of

(02:30):
someone else who who has an interestingunderstanding, or started off with an interesting
understanding, perhaps not what we wouldthink in Crystal Clatt's story. So I
want to welcome today Crystal. Areyou there? Are you able to join
us on the air? Yeah?Hello, Hi, how are you?
I'm with you? Guys, awesome, Christal, I wonder if you could

(02:54):
give a little bit of your backgroundbefore we get into the topic of how
to you're in journey to embrace yourrole as a homemaker. I wonder if
you could give us a little backgroundand on where your Indigenous background comes from.
How do you see yourself? Okay, So I had to reindigenize myself

(03:15):
because my dad was a product ofthe sixty scoop and I've since reached into
the community and found out that I'mpod of Wantam and Shawnee and it's been
a little bit of an adventure,but it's been a good one. I
think everything happens for a reason,like you've taught me through our times together.

(03:35):
So yeah, that's where I'm at. And then I do have work
on my community with the Friendship Center, which is really great at rewarding.
It's helped me to feel like I'vestepped into my position as a female in
the community even more, which Ithink is one of the big parts about
reindigenizing that mattered to me was knowingmy role as a female because my colonized

(04:00):
view is very different than what myindigenous view is now. Awesome, So
Crystal, when you used the wordand digenized, reindigenized myself and I'm a
product of the sixties scoop. Couldfor the audience who is listening, could
you just say a little bit aboutwhat happened at the sixties scoop and what
your personal experience was. How didyou get scooped? So myself was my

(04:27):
dad, My dad is a productof the sixty scoop. He was given
up for adoption. While he wastaken for adoption and put into a prominent
white Christian family, which they werea great family. He had a good
upbringing and everything. It's not everyone'sstory that's that fortunate, but for him
it wasn't a horrible experience. Butwhat happened is that it really disconnected him

(04:54):
from any of his indigenous heritage.And he also had an adopted sister who
was indigenous, and the both ofthem, I just had to kind of
learn to reconnect and he didn't reconnectas much, so it was left for
me to do on my own.Sixty scoop was just a time when they

(05:20):
wanted to change our value system tomatch more of a European belief system.
And I mean, I think itstill happens today. You see it in
a lot of it. But that'smy that's my touching vaguely on it because

(05:41):
it's such an in depth it's veryin depth, but that's vaguely, that's
where I would go with it.Very and so so your father then is
raised in a non native family,and I think I remember you telling me
or maybe it was your experience thatyou were raised and it was a wealthy
family. So so it wasn't apoor family. Yeah, not at all.

(06:03):
Actually he my grandfather ran Savage Shoes. He owned Savage Shoes. It
was a baby shoe business for likeleather shoes. So they had a really
good life. And my grandmother shewould take the kids on ski trips all
over the place like they had agreat life. They didn't, but I

(06:25):
mean they were predominantly Christian. Sothe point was is that this very Christian
oriented, uh like orthodox family endedup having two Indigenous children that were brought
into their home to be brought upin that sort of environment because it was

(06:46):
more valuable than our traditional views.Kids are being brought up with what most
people would say, oh, thebasic need. It's great food, clothing,
water, shelter, but what theywere missing I think is what you're
saying is that they were missing theirtheir native identity. It's like learning about
themselves and who they were. Itsounds like that wasn't really provided for them.

(07:09):
Is that right? Did I did? I get? Yeah? That's
correct, it is correct. Okay, So so you're fast forward to how
how does that affect you then sothat we can understand your your drive and
your need to reindigenize. So yourfather grows up, he meets your mom,
Like what what what's the background there? So my dad unfortunately became uh

(07:38):
victim of substance abuse, and hehe has a drinking problem. So I
mean growing up in that family environment, he he chose a woman that was
not in his his class, whichculture group? Yeah? So and then

(07:59):
so yeah, he my upbringing wasvery very different than what he was raised
For me, I think that's whatmade me like reach out so hard to
try and find a different way oflike living was because what the environment that
I grew up in, Because hecarried his own his own traumas and feelings

(08:22):
and stuff like that. When hefound out young that he was adopted out
the way he internalized it and stufflike that. And plus yeah, clearly
he was not part like he knewhe was adopted. My upbringing pushed me
to go like outside of my outsideof my family of origin, and try

(08:43):
and find answers outside of it.And that's what connected me to looking into
a different sort of spirituality. Idon't think I ever really found like a
satisfying spiritual basis for myself until Ireconnected with my my roots and the land
and the things that were real,revoluable. Yeah, and and and your

(09:05):
story is really remarkable because a lotof people would look at your life and
say, well, geez, youdidn't have to worry about you know,
you had rich grandparents. You didn'thave to worry about money, like it
was accessible to you. Was it? Was it not accept accessible to you?
Or was it accessible to you?I'm hearing that it isn't based on
how you were ade? Yeah,so no, it was not. Really.

(09:26):
So I had my grandma that wouldalways my grandparents were around me,
But my dad chose the life thathe chose, and then they were not
enablers in any way. They theythey let him do what he needed to
do, and they would remove themselvesfrom the situation. But we still we
still engaged with them and stuff likethat. But my dad would obviously anybody

(09:52):
that is from an alcoholics no homeknows that we keep our family secrets,
right. I think that's a reoccurringtheme in our in our the our trauma
story. Yeah. And then theway I dealt with that is that I
went out into the community and Ibecame really successful. Like I spent lots
of years just chasing education and thendoing like things that I thought that once

(10:16):
my education didn't satisfy me, Idecided that I wanted to do passion projects
and then I would end up goingand doing schooling for like different things like
personal fitness and like riki and andall these little like I was there was
a void in my life, Ithink I was. I was really struggling
to kind of meet right, Andso when when do you find your husband

(10:41):
that that you're able to to Somewould say live a life of privilege,
because like, what do you meanyou don't have to go to work?
Can you tell us a little bitabout you know, your your journey from
from that place of like being raisedand with a father who's addicted and your
mother she wasn't pre and either wasshe And so that was very Yeah.

(11:05):
She was very much disconnected and anenabler to my father. So she,
you know, it was like andand and don't get them upset, and
and and do this, and soshe was not very available at all.
Okay, So, so as you'regrowing up and you're gutting education, you
got into these passion projects. Whendo you When do you meet your your

(11:26):
husband that you have now? SoI met my husband and I have now
about five years ago. And uhit was after I had had like I
had created a pattern of meeting peoplethat were not very available. I mean
we all get stuck in our patternsand they just played out in different ways.

(11:48):
Yeah, what do you mean notavailable? What would you well,
Yeah, I mean like they were. I saw alcoholics, Like I met
other men that were alcoholics. Myfirst husband was an alcoholic. Other people
that I had short term relationships withended up channing out being like like substance
abuse users. The pattern played outright, and then my last relationship was

(12:13):
the same, the substance abuse.And then I just I ended up going
into recovery myself, Like I starteddoing more recovery focused work where I was
like, I need to look atmyself and see how I could heal,
and I just went with something thatwas different. I was like, you

(12:35):
know what, I'm like, Ithink I need to try something different.
I've been in the hamster wheel.So I ended up meeting my husband and
we got along great, and Imean, he was a blessing. I
feel like I prayed for him andhe was the answer to my prayer.
Really, I we say that toeach other all the time. I prayed
for you, and it's true.And I was fortunate enough that something that

(12:58):
my husband had asked from me wasthat he wanted somebody that would take on
a traditional role because he had adisabled daughter who's spastic, quadriplegic, cerebral
palsy, and nonverbal and incontinent.So that pretty much means that she's in

(13:18):
a wheelchair and she can't do muchfor herself, and her verbalizing and talking
is very limited. She's a wonderfulgirl, and I really am glad that
I get to play an active partnerlife and she doesn't have a mother figure.
Unfortunately, she stepped out of thesituation. So my husband was really
clear about the fact that he neededsomebody that was willing to make a commitment

(13:39):
to his daughter. As well asmake like with the commitment of him came
his daughter, and I was morethan willing to, especially because I had
a little guy at the time,like I had had a little guy later
on in my life. So Ithought, this is okay, I can
handle this. And then I think, right when around the time I had
met you, I was just experiencinga little bit of resistance towards wanting to

(14:03):
adhere to that, because for meit was really difficult thinking like what am
I going to do now? Eventhough it's an ideal situation, right,
like everybody thinks that they want tothey want to do it. I had
struggled with it for a little while, and I thought, I don't know
if I could do this because Ihad put myself in a perspective of thinking
that all of my work was determinedby what I was contributing outside of the

(14:28):
home, you know, like likeI didn't yeah, which was unfortunate,
And I did come around afterwards,I am I'm not sure. Like a
lot of your listeners probably are awareof the fact that you do your your
healing set, your healing lodge,and your sessions and stuff like that.
Some some some are, but notat least. It's always a good time

(14:50):
to revisit for sure, like whatyou got out of it, how you
how you experience the work that Ido. I think it's valuable, like
you have to share so feel free. So that's what changed my life.
Actually, so funny enough, Ihad gotten to that point where my son
had gotten a little bit older,and I was resistant to taking on this

(15:13):
traditional role because I didn't see Istruggled with seeing the value in it,
and and it was really, yeah, like, what what did you see
as I'm a homemaker? What howdid you see that I didn't. I
didn't see that for being as importantas it was like I thought it was.

(15:33):
I thought it was important at thetime when I wanted to be at
home and take care of my littleguy, But I didn't really see how
much of a healing opportunity it wasfor my family. Like now, if
you were to ask me compared tothem, I would have a very different
perspective on it because I had believedthat, uh, staying at home with

(15:58):
my son was the practice decision.I hadn't made the decision based on the
fact that I would have the opportunityto instill any sort of value system that
he couldn't get from going to daycareor having a babysitter right, like it's
And then when I started to reallyfocus on indigenized reindigenizing myself and having like

(16:22):
to my core value system shift right, I realized that my children aren't going
to get what I need to giveto them outside of what I can give
them like it's my I took onmore of a duty role, and I
realized that where what they would getfrom me was foundational to every day would

(16:49):
do in their life. And Imean it sounds like they could get the
same thing from going to daycare,I guess, but not to the extent
that I would want. Like mylittle I is is is uh biracial and
he's he's he's very much my childrenare very much h predominantly native and features.

(17:15):
And I just feel like he likehe used to always say, he'd
be like like who am I?And that's funny because I don't know if
I even know who I was,right, but for him because he is
sat in our home as as aslike we have we have a very predominantly
like my husband's there, I'm lighter, uh, my little guy is darcor

(17:40):
so he used to say, He'slike, am I adopted? It doesn't
know you're not adopted. And withthat came a whole bunch of me needing
to seek out answers for him,right, And then I got into it
and I realized that I can't Ican't look for those answers anywhere else,
giving it to him, giving itto him myself, right, like nobody
else is going to give. Andthen that's when I realized how really important

(18:03):
this role was and that I wouldn'tgive it up for anything. Now.
I mean before I right before Imet you, I was I was enrolled
to go back to university because Ithought I needed to spend I thought in
some way, if I spent moremoney just going and proving myself, no
matter what I would, I wouldsomehow be worth more. But I mean

(18:26):
now since going to your healing Lodge, which changed my life, I mean
it saved me. It saved mysoul from the hurt and the agity that
I carried of this colonial perspective thatmy worth is outside there I'm not in
my home. And I feel soyeah, that's the thing that I'm so

(18:51):
like moving for me now, likeI feel really connected with my spirit,
the spirit of the land, youknow, with my people community, all
that because I was able to letgo of it, like coming and when
I did that work with you andreleasing that ego, the driving force of

(19:17):
needing to please people outside of myself, you know, like I just it
freed me. It really did.And then it gave me an opportunity to
really embrace who I was as awoman, Like being a woman. I
have such a beautiful, powerful gift, and I was giving it away.
I tried to be a man forso many years. Yeah yeah, really,

(19:38):
Yeah, tell more about that.Yeah, tell more about that.
How you tried to live as aman that, Yeah, tell me more
about that, Kiti. Yeah,I was in competition. I wanted to
I was not my role, youknow, like my role now as a
woman is very different than what myrole was a few years, like years
ago. I mean I even upuntil like when my husband said, have

(20:00):
a traditional role, I thought,oh sure, But I still picked up
male male attributes of challenging and andand and And I'm not saying that women
aren't aren't just like aren't to challenge. It's not what I'm saying. I'm
just saying, like I really Iwasn't. I wasn't confident enough to embrace

(20:22):
myself in my femaleness. I reallyput myself and projected myself out into the
world in an aggressive way, likeand I think that you can still be
confident and be a female without havingto go out and like like be overly
masculine, uh and and competitive.And that's where I was at it,

(20:49):
and thinking, maybe bonds by yourego and not your heart so much very
much. So you know, likeonce I started to once they started to
go for my heart space, Imean I I just felt like I can
feel I feel all of the womenaround me, my past generations. I

(21:10):
I know, I'm open to feelingthem in my life, and I see
them move in my life like likeand then might sound crazy to some people,
like see the move I mean like, but I mean like I just
feel their presence around me. Morethat that I opened myself up instead of
feeling in some way that I neededto be puffed up my chest and and

(21:33):
and judging myself based on on whatI bring to the table for a paycheck,
like I put a lot of workin in monetary you know, Like
I like I thought, like whatwhat is the monetary value of me and
not the knowledge value of me?And I realized I have a really great
power to be able to heal uhthe generations ahead by healing my children.

(22:00):
My husband comes home, I healmy husband. You know, they go
out into the world, they healthe people around them. Like, I'm
amazed at the shift of my perspective, because it's not at all. If
you had asked me if I wouldhave been able to adopted this sort of
perspective, like say, even ayear ago, it would have been a
no. But I mean, I'veworked really hard in the last little while,

(22:23):
since I've been to your lodge likea couple of times, almost back
to back, which is amazing.I would have never been able to say
that there's no monetary uh, LikeI don't. I don't care about the
monetary worth as much anymore at all. Really, I mean, and I
don't say that because I have avery cushiony Like my husband's a good provider,

(22:45):
Like he's not a very picker atall, not to say, but
you know what, he's very heworked hard, he works really hard to
be really lucky. But I mean, you can I could very easily now,
And I say this with I likecould be most confident. I could
really now in any situation, feelfree to just be happy in what I'm
contributing to my children's life, asidefrom what it is that I have that

(23:07):
my husband contributes. Like give mea different husband and a different situation and
a different home, and it's notgoing to change the way I internalize and
feel what it is that I wantto passionately give to my family. And
really that's the core value of whatthey're going to take out into the world
and create for themselves, right,Like, it's not none of it comes

(23:30):
down to what's in my wallet.When it comes to what the children are
going out and doing and what itis that my husband's going out and doing,
it's all about how I feel,heart wise, right from their hearts.
Yeah, and that's beautifully said,Crystal, because there's a lot of
people that would look at you,and as I opened up with the show

(23:51):
today, like a lot of Nativepeople are ending up in poverty or in
welfare and they're struggling and they're tryingto make ends meet, and so they
would look at a person like you, and I think the word you use
was cushy, like, Oh,she's in a really cushy position because she
doesn't have to worry about money,she doesn't have to work outside the home

(24:12):
like she can has everything she needsand she has a nice home and a
nice car. And what you're sayingis that it's not the material things,
it's not the money, it's notthat is a colonial construct, you know
what I am. I'm just aboutto move. So I'm just actually about

(24:33):
to move out of this cushiony outinto the country. I realized colonial construct.
I'm not against. I'm not againstwhat has been created. And I'm
not saying, you know, let'sgo back to living in TPS. I'd
be very ken in too. Butwhat I'm saying is the full construct that
we have going on. It's notreality. I mean, you might,

(24:57):
I get people might, Oh,well, that's easy for you to say
because you don't have to suffer.I have suffered though. I mean,
my last relationship was awful and Iand I made I did my time well
and I made the best of whatI needed to and it wasn't always horrible.
I can remember times when we struggled. But I think the most important

(25:18):
thing that I realized of all ofthis is that it's what it's living from
a place in my heart where it'slike it's the happiness in the home,
not the money. I can't eatmoney, and I know you can eat
food, but we disconnect from fromliving off of I think like a lot

(25:41):
of times people think, oh,I don't get to eat out a lot.
Well, eating out is killing people, you know what I mean.
I mean, we can grow ourgardens, we can eat healthy food.
We have options. It's just whatthe colonial view has become of being worthwhile
is is what's making us poor,you know, in my perspective, in

(26:03):
my opinion, it's it's a completeopposite. We were rich before they ever
came here. And then the richrich and rich and intimate heart felt connections,
rich and human yeah, and rinkwith the land. I mean we
we we don't even realize a lotof a lot of these plants that are

(26:25):
around us are edible plants. Imean, like I it sounds crazy like
and that's why I want to go. I've decided to give up city life.
Is because a lot of these plantsthat like I just found out that
maple keys are actually high in proteinand they're edible. I mean, who
would have thought. I mean,there's there's just there's so many things that

(26:48):
we we have developed because of thiscolonial view on what is is successful and
I mean your son says it's thebest. It's a brilliant construct. What
they did. They came over here, they saw us thriving. And I'm
not about to push the narrative ofthis prejudice, it's not my intention.
But from a decolonizing view, whatwe had going on our ancestors was beautiful.

(27:11):
We were in touch with our hearts. We were in touch with the
land and I mean connecting with theland. Since I focused on that alone,
I've come to realize there is somuch potential of with connecting with the
land, the food that's available.Like if you started learning your plant medicines,

(27:34):
you'd be so surprised by the amountof edible food that is around us.
And we just don't even know becauseit's not normal for us to look
at that stuff anymore, you know, And that's the stuff that I don't
Our culture is on the verge ofyou know, it's been threatened, like
our culture has been threatened. Andfor me now stepping into a homemaker role,

(27:59):
I'm excited because I'm like, youknow what, I had the opportunity
to get in touch with my heartthrough going through your teachings, and I
can't wait to share it with myfamily, you know, like it's just
so important. That is such ayou know, you're beautiful journey like to
where you are now, like theawareness you have well spoken, Crystal,

(28:22):
Like you really nailed it by saying, you know, we got educated away
from the simple things in life andwe started to adopt a different view call
it colonial view if you wish,but it was a view around like in
a definition of success that just sortof undermined and made us look at ourselves

(28:44):
as being less than and not asgood as and so we adopted those views,
not realizing the wealth of what wehad around us. And it's so
true, like if you go tothe reserve or you visit reservation, there's
so much, like you said,food around you that that we call it
weeds. Like through another view,another person's viewpoint, we would look at

(29:10):
it is this just weeds and thatdoesn't contribute anything to my life or my
value. And you know, Iwant to I want to get and earn
more money, and I want toget what I see on TV or what
I see other people have bring mehappiness. But you're moving from the opposite.
You're moving from a place and sayingI have all of that, and
I need this right and this ismore meaningful than every all the material things

(29:33):
and stuff that I could have rightand I do have, but now I
need I need this. What's reallymeaningful is I need the stuff that sustains
my identity, teaches me who Iam, helps me to understand right what
the value I am and who Iam, and the value and the land
and the connection that me and mypeople had to the land. It's a

(29:55):
beautiful journey you're on, Crista.I don't feel very blessed. I have
been able to like connect with youand let go of all that heaviness that
I carried. It was heavy.There was a lot of heavy, heavy
baggage, just hurt, a lotof hurt and wanting to measure up.
Yeah, like it's really that's whatit all boiled down to. It was

(30:18):
just I had a lot of hurtthat I couldn't let go of things that
I had wanted, expectations, andI had not always lived this good life.
I mean at one time, Iran away from everything and I was
out running around on the streets andI was not. I didn't have a
good life. I mean I've hadI've also been on the opposite on the
spectrum where I had a really hardlife. I had a really rough rough

(30:41):
go and I was not doing wellat all. And I can see both
sides of it, like I cansee both sides, and having known both
sides, I still clearly, afterhaving had the chance to say, do
I feel happy because I had allthe stuff that I wanted? Well?

(31:02):
You know what? No, youknow, And it's like that one man,
Robin Williams, right, he hadeverything and you know what happened to
him. I mean, it's sosad. And I realized, I mean
I seeing everything happens for a reasonand meeting you and revitalizing that part in

(31:22):
me that says what is really important? Who am I not? What is
important? Like like what what makesme feel like I'm measuring up against this
guy over here with this big swollenego. I mean, I don't really
care about any of that stuff anymore. All I really want is to enjoy
myself. I live from a placeof accepting who I am and how I

(31:48):
feel, and and enjoying the presentmoment and not needing to go into the
future with fear and not needing todwell in the how and it's beautiful.
I mean, I really hope that, I really hope that you continue your
work what you're doing, because Ithink that it's so important. It's beautiful.

(32:15):
Well, let's talk a little bitabout the work and the things that
I do, because you know,I don't have a lot of people clamoring
knocking at my door, waiting,waiting to get in, and and the
reason for that is because the workthat I do is very emotionally intense,
right it can it's it's working withthe physical body to transform how you feel,

(32:38):
to change how you feel. Andso were you not afraid when when
I first met you and I gavethe introduction and I talked about how you
can use your body and you gotto get out of the head and get
in the body, the body tochange how you feel. That that means
feeling it to heal it, Likeyou've got to be willing to go into

(32:58):
that darkness. We're Are you afraid, Crystal? And you frustrate that?
Uh yeah, yeah, yes,I can remember going to your lodge and
having to make sticky notes and putthem on my mirror about vulnerability. I
had to make one. I hadto lie vulnerability is beautiful. But now
I believe it. I believe it'sso crazy like I And that was the

(33:20):
biggest resistance. It was like Ifelt so resistant but just does not feel
good. It's not. But Imean I grew through it. Right now,
I see all these opportunities as growthopportunities, and they're they're blessings,
you know, really people might belike And the reason why I say it's
a blessing is I would much ratherbe blessed with the opportunity to grow through

(33:42):
it before it gets overbearing and ithurts too much. And that's what going
to your lodge really helped me do. Is that if I let things accumulate
up to the point of not beingable to acknowledge it and let it process
and go through my body, thenit becomes something very toxic and heavy and
hard to carry. And now I'mvery much proactive, you know, like
I'm and I and I'm excited atwhat I have going forward and as an

(34:08):
opportunity to grow through right and knowingthat I have my ancestors and the spirits
around me that are If that soundshokey to people, I'm sorry, but
I mean I'm more receptive to that, right Like, I'm much more receptive
than aware. And it's a blessing. I bring it. I bring,
I bring my day with excitement.You know what is today gonna? There's

(34:32):
there's excitement in the unknown. Nowit's not fear, you know, which
is really I think a powerful tool. I mean, who would not want
to have that? To shift frombeing anxiety? Written? Because I was
on anxiety meds too? I amI and I'm not on and I don't.
I don't mean to say that.I'm not going to promote that because
that's not I'm not a doctor ora physician. But for me, what

(34:53):
happened is, I don't I don'tneed anxiety medication. I don't live in
that place this year anymore. I'mI'm very much free from that feeling of
fear. I'm excited about my future. I have hope in my future.
And it's not because of what myoutside life looks like. It's because of
what my inside life looks like,which is very different. Yeah, so

(35:16):
you didn't run away from your feelingyour feelings like at some point and because
this is your your journey is reallyremarkable because you've really only been to two
programs, Krystal, and you've youYeah, really when you look at two
programs, which each program is athree day program, so and and and

(35:36):
it's this year that you actually program. I think I think you started,
was it in January? And thenyou came back or was it December?
And in March? Yeah, Soso just this year of twenty twenty three,
you came in January and then youcame again and maybe April was it?
Yeah? For March, yeah,March end was yeah, and of

(35:58):
March. So so you've got todo two programs almost back to back.
But it's not it's not the program. And that's what I keep telling the
people. It's it's not how manysessions you have, but it's your willingness.
It's your willingness to allow yourself tofeel the pain, the emotional pain
which sometimes can can developed into physicalpain. Because I was trying to remember,

(36:22):
but I think you were had avery sore back. Did you know
I was walking with a cane.I'm forty three years old, and I
was I was walking with a canebefore I came, Like right before I
had come, I was I washaving these episodes where the stress level in
my body and the not moving theenergy was resulting in me like a marshmallow

(36:47):
being stuffed in the microwave. Iwas just I couldn't. I was immobilized.
I was not able to. Ihave to walk with a cane.
I was going to the chiropractor allthe time. Like it was, it
was awful, I was. Itwas debilitating, right, I would have
the furious psiatic nerves, pain andyeah, and then I just you know,

(37:09):
I that's why I keep saying,like I keep telling, I tell
everybody, I'm like, this isreally important, Like I just just going
into your body, like letting goof all that headspace. And then I,
like I had said to you before, it's like it was exhausting.
I lived in this place where Iwas in competition all the time and needing

(37:32):
to be like something valuable side ofmyself, you know, Like and now
I have this adopted perspective of radicalacceptance for myself, right Like, and
I mean that doesn't necessarily mean thatevery day is so great and wonderful and
rosy I'm like, today I'm livingin joy. It's three hundred and sixty

(37:55):
five days of NonStop happiness. It'snot the way it is at all.
I mean I have days where I'mlike, I can't function today and the
kids are under my skin, andI'm like, but I can process it.
I can stop. I can sayI feel this energy and I don't
need to know why. I justfeel it and I let it go.

(38:16):
And then the most amazing thing thatI experienced at your lodge was the feeling
of validation for some of the thingsthat I had held inside for so long.
Like there's just some things that somepeople have that they need a safe
space to go and express and thenhave somebody say, listen, you know

(38:37):
what, You're not being judged,You're heard, And then you know,
how do you go through that sequencingof calming yourself down? And You've given
me the tools of how to calmmyself down when I get into those hyper
sensitive modes where I'm maybe really hypervigilant or hyper sensitive because I'm experiencing a

(38:58):
physical pattern because of years of livingin that way, you know, the
exciting we would call it, yeah, we would call it a trigger something
triggered you. Yeah, right,I can. I can decide like I
can deescalate the situation really easily,and I don't necessarily need the outside validation
as much. But if I did, I know how to approach people now

(39:20):
like I'm not I'm not as yeah, I'm not as all bunned up about
having to say, listen, I'mfeeling really like ashamed right now, like
I have a lot of I havea lot of shame for for whatever reason,
you know, I don't even knowwhy I feel ashamed. I feel
like I'm not worthy. I justfeel like I don't measure up to people.

(39:40):
There's always somebody better than me.I mean, it's not doom and
gloom. It's just that's the realityof it. There's I'm always and you
know what, I'm okay with that. I'm okay. I still love myself.
It's part of the human experience.And that was the biggest thing that
you taught me, was about havingthe human experience, you know, in
my body, though not in myhead in your Yeah. Yeah, that's

(40:06):
perfect. Yeah, that's right.I'm gonna experience it in my body.
It is what it is, andI'm not gonna run away from how I
feel. I feel what it is. So I'm just gonna let it go.
I'm gonna breathe through it. I'mgonna let my body shake, I'm
gonna sweat, I might even cry, maybe even I might even find myself
getting nauseous, and I'm gonna I'mgonna have to throw up or spit up
in a bag, but I'm gonnalet it go. And I think that

(40:28):
leap intimacy. It's a deep intimacywith my my soul and my spirit and
the connection with the earth. Andthat's indigenous. And that's why I'm so
happy to be at home with mychildren and being a healer to my family
is because I get to if Ifeel like if I was out in the

(40:49):
world doing this puffed up female masculineattitude that I had, I would come
home and I'd be exhausted and Imight not be able to give that to
my family. You know, Iwould be triggered, I'd be hyper sensitive,
I'd be bearing a lot of weight. And at the end of the
day, the kids don't really wantthe money, They just want their parents,

(41:12):
right. So, I mean,it's been a blessing. You've changed,
but you've changed not only my life, and I think that's our goal,
right, is to go seven generationsahead. You know, is healing
it and you've definitely done it withone person, and that one person has
other people credit. Chris, yougive me too much credit. It's you.

(41:36):
We provided the space, but youtry to put credit where credits do,
right. I can't make anybody goto those dark places. So you
have to say you provided me witha space, a place where I could
myself and heal myself and feel thethings and say the things that I never

(41:57):
could body else. That's but youdid the work, Krista. So I
just want you to be really clearthat you did the work. Yeah,
thank you. And that's such areoccurrence. I can remember you said that
so often too. It's such areoccurring thing that comes off of your lips.
And it's true, it really trulyis. And I just it's so

(42:20):
I don't think I would have actuallyexperienced it though, had I not had
had your teachings on how to beable to do it myself. And that's
what I'm really grateful for. Andthen I get to carry it on with
my children, which is truly ablessing. And yeah, and it's and
the best part that makes me feelso great about it is I carried that
anxiety about how to get my littleguy to feel like he could contribute to

(42:45):
his community right like being that he'sdisconnected to and he's you know, and
and it's beautiful to go out thereand be able to take these teachings to
say, listen, you can livein connection with the land. If I
going through your heart energy and justfeeling it and processing it, you know,
he could take that knowledge anywhere andhe could share it and that's going

(43:07):
to be valuable. And he's gonnasay, I'm indigenous and these are my
teachings, and that makes my hearthappy. Wow. That's that's an aresome
statement. That's a and our toour conversation today. So how many children
are you athing? How many?How many children are do you have in
your family? Crystal? I haveseven, but I have three at the

(43:31):
house right now. So I havetwo for my first marriage, which are
older adult children. And then Ihave my husband's four children that I inherited.
The four of them lived with usfor the first little while two have
since moved out because they're adults.And then I have his sixteen year old
daughter who is threebropalsy, and shestays with us. She'll probably stay with

(43:54):
us a long time, if notindefinitely. And then I have thirteen year
old and a seven year old andthe seven year old is my youngest and
he is my biological child. Soand I had him a little bit later,
which he was a blessing. Yeah. So Christill, I can only

(44:19):
say good things are a hit foryou. And are you done healing?
I don't think you're done healing.I don't think you're done coming to people.
Think. No, you know whatmy ego, my ego a year
ago would have said, I hadall the answers, and then all of
a sudden, I realized this isgoing to be a deep dive, you

(44:43):
know, Like I mean, ifthis is it's every day, you know,
and it's not tiring, it's exciting. But you know, like I
can learn something new every single dayif I want to. You know,
I just have to be open towhat the you is telling me, what
Mother Earth wants me to know.You know, there's so much we can

(45:05):
learn from nature, you know,like sometimes just being present in your environment.
I mean it's it's the birds thatare flying by it's the people that
you bump into. I mean no, I not by a long shot.
Like I said a year ago,I might have been like, oh,
well, I got it all figuredout. I've read this book. I
think I said that to you before. You know, you read a book

(45:25):
and all of a sudden you thinkit's all you got it all figured out.
But no, and I will comeback. I would come. I'd
like, I'll come back to yourlodge multiple times in the future. I
have not send my children there whenthey get old enough because I just think,
yes, they'd be like I don'twant to go going. No,
they'll go. I'm sure they'll bevery excited to go. But it's worthwhile

(45:47):
to me and my mind is amother and as a person that has really
advocated for reindigenizing myself and being focusedon our community and what's important as a
community. I really think that thisheart medicine vital, you know, it's

(46:08):
it's it's the core ideology behind usas Indigenous people, the foundation of what
is healing for us, you know. And I feel privileged to be able
to have had that spirit come tome, this this knowledge and to free

(46:30):
me from my my prior perspectives becauseit has been very freeing and very liberating.
Yes, for sure. And andand I think your role as a
board member at the Native or SarniaLimp and Native Friendship Center, I think
your role is here and your experiencesyou're going to bring to the table,

(46:53):
bring to that board table some reallygood perspective that will just help and hint
some of the programs and services thatyou're all getting ready to launch. Hey,
I know you're still in the businessof developing. Is it a homeless
a shelter for homeless. Yeah,where we're expanding on our housing and we

(47:17):
are revamping the building that we have, like the location that are our original
building is is in a in aprime location to examine like homeless, homeless
sheltering, help and stuff. Soit's our ed. Donna Sutherland is amazing.
I mean I felt her energy themoment I bumped at her. And

(47:42):
you and Donna are very close,and then she connected us with you.
You ladies are just yummy energy energyAnd that is exactly the type of role
model that I needed as an Indigenouswoman in this community. And I stand
behind I think I think we yes, of course, of course, it's

(48:05):
my privilege. I think if anyother females could just like have the opportunity
to be like mentored by you guys, like especially you and your lodge,
it just is so healing. Imean, it's such a blessing. Truly,
you ladies are just you, andyou're pioneering like different perspectives in the
community. Like some of the thingsthat are happening between the two of you

(48:29):
guys working together is like revolutionary,like to our community and moving forward and
really like taking a step out ofplace of hurt and into a space of
being able to accept where we're movingfrom from where we had been empowered and

(48:50):
being empowered. Yes, yes,more empowerment. I think that's that's what
Done of herself was looking for waysto support and empower people and and that's
what I enjoyed. That's what Isaid, well, I might be able
to help with that. And Donnaherself, you know, has gone through
programs for her own healing, herown wellness, her own empowerment. And

(49:14):
so I think, Krystal, withyou joining us, so once again you
give Done and I far too muchcredit, but you got to look at
what you're bringing to the board,and well it all does boil down by
leading by example, and you guyslead excellent examples. So and I feel
confident that you guys have shown byyour excellent examples the ability for me to

(49:38):
learn how to lead in an excellentway too, and I'm grateful for that.
So that's what I'm grateful for.I do. I do do the
work and lead by example, andeverything that I do, I don't preach
anything that I don't practice. Andthat has been the biggest thing that has
made me be able to live froma place of my heart much more easily.

(49:59):
Is the because it becomes the pointof passion then, and passion you're
bringing to the that passion you're bringingto the board, and so your opportunity
to be a homemaker has provided youto an opportunity to bring contributions to the
friendships in it. Because of that, I get attracted absolutely, yes,

(50:21):
yea, And so you can canyou see the contributions you're making now through
the board to at that level andnow, yeah, where at one time
I was like, oh, well, who, what what do I have
to offer? It's like no,everything is falling into the place very nicely
for me. And I'm very gratefuland and I I am blessed very much

(50:44):
so so and I can't wait togo forward. I mean, like it's
just exciting, especially not needing tocarry the heaviness of the stress, you
know, like I get to starteach day a new day and yesterday and
and when you do in my body, Yeah, and when you do get

(51:07):
stressed, you know what to doto change it. And that's what's really
valuables. We've reached a point inour program where we call it it's called
shameless self promotion. And one ofthe things that I'd like to promote and
I give you thanks for this calltoday because the I have an upcoming program

(51:29):
happening in Upper New York State.It's at a place called Blue Mountain Lake.
It's just a few hours north ofAlbany, New York and in the
in the Adirondack Mountains. And there'sa conference center there called the Middlebrook Conference
Center, and it's it's it's partof a property that's owned by Syracuse University.

(51:52):
So they've been supporting this project.This three and a half day workshop,
and they're calling the workshop Indigenous HealingPractices. So it'll be a time
for people who are interested to comeout and get their feet wet and so
to speak, and what is indigenoushealing practice? Like how do I like,

(52:15):
how do I work it for myself? What is an indigenous divon healing?
And how does that affect me asthe human being? And how would
it help me? And then evenmore important is can I use that information
to help other people? So willit help me? And then can I
use it to help others? Andtoday this call, you have been really

(52:37):
clear about how you took that ina lodge situation for three days and out
of three days, six days intotal. But even after the first three
days, you learned a enough tobe able to help yourself and then to
take that home to your children.And I want to give my thanks to
you today for that. That HealingLodge experience is going to go to the

(53:01):
Middlebrook Conference Center on August twenty fifthand twenty eighth. You can go online
to Dianhill dot net. That's wwdot Dianehill dot net. That's my website,
and you're going to be able toclick on an upcoming feature program.
You'll have to click twice on thatbecause the first click will take you in

(53:22):
to a window where you'll have toclick again to get the Syracuse website.
But that's where people can register.They can sign up for three and a
half days. We're going to doa program there at a beautiful conference center
in the ad around back mountains.It's an all inclusive ticket because there isn't
a lot of places that you coulddrive to. I think it's it's in

(53:45):
the woods on the lake. That'san hour from anywhere anywhere else where you
could. So it's an all inclusiveticket. So it'll includes your accommendation,
it'll include your meals. You'll havethe three point five day program, a
three and a half day program,and you'll have a chance to sit with
like minded people in a circle,engaging in understanding of healing and wellness for

(54:09):
yourself and supporting others. So learningto listen to that sacred self, connecting
to the spiritual part of yourself.That's everything you've talked about Crystal in this
phone call. I'm so grateful toyou for coming on to the show.
And yeah, if you know ofanybody in your circle who you can recommend

(54:30):
to come go to that session inAugust, please feel free to to you
know, text or message your friendsCrystal and let's promote healing for other people
as much as much as we can. I think that's right. I want
to Yeah, I want to thankyou for today's call, and I'm just

(54:51):
going to leave it at that,and I'll say our goodbyes and my gratitude
to you for for sharing yourself andsharing your story here today. Thanks so
much, and keep so much forasking me and having me. You're very
welcome. Bye bye, bye,You're all. Were previously aired broadcast of

(55:15):
News for the Sol online at newspdisoldot com. And Let's get back to
the show.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist

CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist

It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.

Crime Junkie

Crime Junkie

Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.

Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.