June 26, 2024 • 42 mins
This week, I am speaking with Lena Cebula, a wife and mother of 3 who escaped a life of hell in the former Soviet Union as a human trafficking survivor and a world of drug addiction, and eventually found faith and healing. In PART ONE of our conversation, Lena discusses her teen years and how she survived them, and why she is now able to finally share her story. This is (some) of Lena's story! *Sensitive topics are discussed, listener discretion is advised* More about Lena:
http://www.lenacebula.ca
http://www.lenacebula.ca
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Nobodies are somebodies, Chad Advice,Nobody's There's Somebody's podcast. And before I
get to my conversation with Lena,I want to give you a little story,
a little feel good story, atleast it was for me. I
was going to my local drug store, Shoppers drug Marts that's in Canada.
If you're in the States, that'dbe like a CVS or a Walgreens.
(00:21):
And before I went in, therewas a homeless person that was kind of
seated outside, just kind of sittingthere and asking people for change, not
aggressively, not in a weird way, just sitting there, just kind of
keeping to himself. But of course, every time someone would pass by,
he'd ask them if they had sparechange, very polite and nice about it.
So of course he asked me,and I don't, friend, I'm
(00:42):
not lying. I don't really carrymoney on me at all. So if
you're looking to rob me, Idon't have any money. And if you're
looking to rob me, I don'thave any money. But I didn't have
any spare change. But I do. I like to get rid of it
too. A lot of it isjust loose coins that sit in my car
that I just don't need and ifsomeone truly needs it, then sure,
no problem, I'll go. ButI didn't have any, so but I
(01:02):
told him that, and I smiledat him and kept going, and as
I passed by, he thanked mefor smiling. He's like, thank you
for at least smiling and acknowledging me. And I, you know, I
said, okay, that's cool.Yeah, like I didn't. I just
said, yeah, no problem atall, and I walked in picked up
my I picked up some alo veraafter cool after sunburn cool after sunburn alo
(01:25):
vera from my son Cameron, whowent on a school field trip, My
youngest son, Cameron, who's aboutto turn thirteen. By the way,
by the time you hear this,he's probably going to be thirteen years old.
Yay. My last, my youngestboy is now a teenager. Yay.
So I got him some after suncream for his sunburn, and I
left the man still parked outside,still seated outside, and he said to
(01:48):
me, he said, have agood day, and I said you too.
I hope you do as well,or try to. And as I'm
walking away to my car, hesays to me, I never expected.
He says to me, I neverexpected someone worrying that kind of shirt that
you're wearing to be so nice.So that's very cool, thank you.
And I looked down at my shirtand I realized I wore a shirt that,
actually, ironically enough, my kidshad bought me for Father's Day,
(02:13):
one that says fun fact, Idon't care. So and so I kind
of had to stop and think fora moment and thought, oh yeah,
and I said something like, oh, I wear what I like and I
wear what fits, you know,kind of like a joke, and he
laughed and we laughed and shared thatgood moment, and that was it.
So I don't know, it wasjust a really cool experience. I mean,
(02:34):
not cool for him, not youknow, you know, having to
struggle and go through things that he'sgoing through right now, because hey,
a lot of people are doing thatand we don't even realize it. A
lot of people we see on thestreets. There's a lot of people who
are this close and maybe on thestreets that you don't realize. And it
could be someone you think as welloff too, So just be mindful of
that and always just be nice andcourteous and respectful of people, especially ones
(02:58):
you don't know. You can treatpeople that you know like garbage obviously because
you know what they're going through.I'm kidding. But what you don't know
sure can affect other people that youdon't realize. So just be good,
be a cool person, don't bea dick. That's what I got to
say on this week's intro for theNobody's or Somebody's podcast. Now let's get
to my conversation with Lena. Avery intense story, so listener, be
(03:23):
worn. There's a lot of thingsgoing on in Lena's story, all true,
and this is part one of that. Unfortunately, our zoom conversation the
time ran out, so I couldn'tkeep I didn't want to let her go
with just the way we ended thestory because we got so much more to
talk about. I won't give itall away, but she's basically a human
trafficking survivor has gone to find avery happy and healthy, fulfilling life with
(03:46):
her family, her husband and childrennow moving to Canada. But how she
got here and all she had togo through to get here from a teenage
from her teenage years until now,this is only scratch the service. This
is only part of the story.It does have a happy ending, like
I just said, but the detailsmay be a bit graphic for some,
so please use that discretion. Butthis is an important story. So without
(04:10):
further ado, my conversation with Lenahere on the Nobody's or Somebody's podcast.
This is part one. Here wego, Lena, how are you.
It's good to meet you great,Thank you so much for having me.
For sure, you have quite astory, so I'm looking forward to dig
into it and get to know youa little bit better, and hopefully that
people that hear this will if theydon't know your name or know what you
(04:30):
do, they're going to hear aboutit now. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate that, because,honestly, I have never imagined that after
twenty years of silence, I wouldbe standing on stage in front of hundreds
of people and my story would bebroadcasted all over social media because I thought
(04:53):
it was the story of sham,guilt and condemnation. But now I know
it's a story of salvation. Somegreat full for your platform and for you
allowed me to come and share mystory here. What absolutely it is?
So I should ask it at thestart, what made you finally decide that
you were ready to do that.I assume this is not the first time
you spoke publicly about it. Sowhat made you decide to you say,
(05:15):
you know what, I'm going tobreak that like you said, guilt and
shame and kind of just say,you know what, I'm going to own
this. And I got to tellpeople what I went through and if they're
going through it too, maybe theycan find some help. So what was
the catalyst that make that made youdecide to speak and break your silence?
This is actually a really good questionbecause I didn't want to share my story.
(05:36):
But the way you guys gonna hearit tonight, it's been already three
years I was sharing this story,so it doesn't have a hold on me.
It's definitely didn't sound the same whenit's just started. But I actually
give my life to Christ and I'vebeen Christian for five years, and I
(05:58):
felt in my spirit that I shouldwrite a book and just go into my
past, and so I could.That time, I thought it was for
somebody else, you know, Ithought God want to show people that there
(06:20):
is always hope, no matter thatwhat you went through, they're always like
overcoming and there's a chance to havelove joy, healing, peace, everything
that our mind. Just imagine evenif you have this huge amount of trauma.
So I thought like I was workingfor someone else, but I trusted
(06:46):
God, you know, and hetook me back and there was actually no
pain. It was so interesting becauseit was such an amazing process. I
reconcile with my family, I reconcilewith my past. I realize that lots
of stuff that's been done to methat was not in my control, I
(07:08):
was product of my environment. Irealized that same as my parents had the
struggle as well, they couldn't giveme something that they didn't have. But
to look back with a new perspective, as I'm healed forgiving love and plus
like I'm a mom of three kidsand wife and I've been a long time
(07:30):
in the marriage, I didn't knowhow heart it is. So then I
start have like compassion to my motherbecause I was thinking myself, what kind
of women I would be if Ididn't have my husband support, or if
I didn't have the community, orI wouldn't live in this wonderful country that
I was able to stay home withmy kids and working on my mental health
(07:56):
and take the help of the professionaland God and my community even like have
a hot water of food or diapers, you know how, Like what kind
of mom I would be because atthat time I was on receiving and I
was seeking that love, validation,warm comfort. But that woman was falling
(08:20):
apart, so she didn't have anythingto give. But until I look back,
I didn't see that all I harboredthis heat like for my parents that
they failed me, and hate formyself that I was doing all this stuff
(08:41):
and allowed this to happen. Andit was quite a journey. It was
such a healing journey. So Idon't know, guys, if you have
faith or where you stand. Onething for sure, if you have something
that still lingering, if you havelike some trauma that you never share.
You don't have to go on podcastsand write a book, but I kid
(09:03):
you not write about it. Ithink that's what really helped me to take
this burden from my soul, youknow. And sometimes maybe you don't even
need to share with anyone, butat least you need to stop being afraid
to look back and trust me,that's what healing is gonna happen. Because
all the darkness, all those likedark feelings in the secret, and that's
(09:30):
what I thought. It was somefor somebody else. But when my book
published, I said to my husband, if nobody ever going to buy this
book, it changed my life.Yeah, absolutely too. Absolutely, when
you wrote the book, was thisthe I guess the first time you shared
it or you talked about this withother people in your social circle, like
when you met your husband, andthen for those who don't know, you
(09:52):
can talk a bit about what youwent through. But when you first met
your husband and then started writing thisbook, did they know about your past
traumas or is this all new tothem as well? This is very interesting
because when I met my husband,I thought it's gonna be just, you
know, nothing serious. You know, I never had any really like respects
(10:13):
for men. I will tell youa story and you will understand why.
I never really thought that it's gonnago anywhere. And so no, I
didn't tell him anything. But whenhe proposed, and I thought, I
think I want to him to chooseto marry me, and I didn't want
(10:35):
to lie to him. And actuallythis is like when we start, like
I said, it's getting serious.I chose not to lie to him anymore.
But not to lie to him fromthat point that we met, so
the past was always off limits.But then when he proposed, I wrote
him six page letter. I wascrying in the balcony. I knew he
(10:58):
not gonna marry me because I wasI would not married me because I knew
I'm not worthy of like being wifeand mother of anything like I thought I
would be that million times over.But he actually he didn't read that letter.
He said, like, I loveyou for who you are now and
(11:18):
your past is between you and God. And that time I was so grateful
that I don't have to tell him. But sometimes now after twenty years,
guy's been with the same and I'mthinking, like I wish he would know
and chose me, because then hewould know extent of the trauma and would
(11:39):
Yeah, did he never? He'snever read the letter since. No,
he never because he said, likeBernie very bait apart, so it was
not existing. But it's so interestingthough, because like I don't have like
any regrets that it took us,took our marriage in this journey of like
this self discovery with your lives thatof us need help and our marriage needn't
(12:01):
help it, so like it ithappens how it's supposed to be happening.
And trust me, girls, ifyou think, oh my goodness, if
I have this like angel in mylife, I would be better to trust
me. Like, he's not perfecttoo. We have aron stuff, so
don't you think like and we realizethat each of us have to work on
(12:22):
ourselves first and then we come andbring something together in a family. But
our core value is aligned about howwe want to raise kids, how we
want our life goes. So Ido believe this is the part and what's
of what's a God in her life? You know, God's true the challenges.
(12:45):
So when I actually give my bookto editor, this is was first
person who read my story and thiswas his first time ever hearing about what
you've been through. And I can'timagine his reaction. Yes, I actually
no, like he didn't read theBookman to editor and asked him do you
want to read the book or youwant to hear the story? And he
(13:05):
wanted me to tell him. Sowe actually like drew this outside. We
drop off all our kids at thechurch and we drew outside the city and
we stood in this beautiful that thatwas like so bizarre, that was like
movie in itself. Because it wasso beautiful sunset and we're in this place.
(13:26):
We can see the valley and citylike Ha's so it was so pretty.
And he was standing like you know, I was looking at his profile
and just give it to him everything. And I think, because I already
went through three years writing my manuscript, I knew that it doesn't have a
hold on me. So after allall my story and I give him so
(13:50):
much more than went into the bookbecause I chose to create the book so
it's it's doesn't trigger like any traumasand people run into therapists and all this
stuff. I wanted people to havehope and see the hope. So I
already suffer enough, you don't haveto. So this book actually been written
(14:13):
so anybody can read, you know, my thirteen year old credit. So
just don't want to make sure.But when I was telling him, I
give him some more details, youknow, because I'm going to be honest
with him to that level. Andthen I ask him like are you angry?
Like what do you feel about this? And he said, there's two
(14:35):
things. One you've been healed andthe second all this book has a purpose.
Wow, that's pretty deep. Yeah, for him to grasp that that's
pretty uh, that's good. Yeah, And then I said to him,
are you angry? That's like thatyou didn't know, and he's like,
I'm kind of like more angry wouldhave been done to you. But honestly,
(14:58):
everything that opened up and other canof worms because of course, like
when this is coming out, it'sanother layer of like the stuff that we
have to deal with, and it'slife, you know. So I'm really
grateful to God that he'd been sofaithful to me up to this point and
(15:18):
actually creating something beautiful out of thisstory. But I have so many amazing
women like and people partner up withme after I share my story, and
it was such an amazing experience.I totally did not expect that people are
gonna love on me and comfort meand have compassion to me, because I
(15:41):
do need to share my story becauseI believe the lie that I'm gonna be
rejected, that they're gonna stone me, that I have to create this fake
persona that everybody gonna like me,you know. So there's like fears of
rejection and all this stuff. Andit was so interesting because God called me
to write this book when already wasa mother with three kids, a volunteer
(16:04):
at church. I have my ownbusiness for sixteen years, you know,
so I'm kind of upset and that'swhat people see. And it's funny.
Somebody in church said to my kids, your mom so lovely, so much
fun, and my kids like,you don't know, you don't I like
radio, which is all true.But there's a difference to people, right,
(16:26):
Yeah, and it hits you.We never know who the person is
until they tell us the truth.Yeah, absolutely, you're right. I'm
not going to ask you to obviouslydo your book here the whole book,
a word by word, piece bypiece, but for the general idea of
it so people know what we're talkingabout. Do you want to touch on
(16:47):
some of your past and kind ofbring it to light here just so people
can kind of get your full scopeand full story. Yes, absolutely so.
I was born and raised in USSR, and when the Ukraine claim independent,
my city ended up being in Ukraine. So my parents already struggled in
their marriage, and this discord inthe country brought another level, like putting
(17:11):
the oil in the fire, sothey became an alcoholics. They lost well
paid jobs, and the government turnedoff electricity and hot water for outstanding bills,
and our house and it was sodirty. It was invested with our
home with mice and cockroaches and blackmold and really struggling poverty, trying to
(17:36):
survive. So I was starving allthe time, and my home was full
of strangers because they brought booze anddrugs, but they brought food as well,
so it was for me opportunity toscore something to eat. And that's
how I became an easy target forthose guys from a very early age.
So around thirteen fourteen, raped andabused and the government didn't step in,
(18:07):
Like police didn't protect me, Myparents didn't protect me, and so so
bizarre. Right now I'm living inthis beautiful country, I'm in Canada.
I'm thinking, you know what,it's so bizarre that I was in a
hospital with concussions, broken bonds,the alcohol abuse. I was like the
(18:33):
kids, you know, nobody everasked what's going on in that home that
this kid ended up in the hospitalwith this severe like promise, like you
know, all the physical prom yeahand no, like it was so bizarre.
And a few times I went topolice and I want to report that
as well, and they said,oh, you're from this house, and
(18:56):
they literally discard whatever like I wassaying to them. And one of the
time that when the gang drank me, the guys were drugging me around my
house and my father said, justtake her as long as you doesn't bother
me. And that level of heatto all of those level of the you
(19:18):
know, adults who're supposed to beprotecting me, that fuel that that rage.
But on the other hand, Iwas I didn't know where to go,
so I tried to run away andbe homeless, but I always come
back because there's only one roof thatI know. So when I thought prins
(19:41):
couldn't get any worse, one monthbefore my fifteenth birthday, I woke up
with severe abdominal pain and I endedup in hospital and they told me that
I'm in labor and I didn't knowI was pregnant. I didn't know who
her father was. So my babydied three months later her from health complications.
(20:02):
So I carried her little kusky tothe cemetery in my arms, and
for the next twenty years, thatimage plagued my mind and my soul like
and I couldn't stop the brain fromthis torture. I honestly lived, like
in this psychological hell in my headto saying that I killed the baby by
(20:25):
and all that stuff. So Istart drinking and using drugs just to midicate
my pain, and I found theheroin because it was the longest time it
could turn me off. And interestingly, interestingly, interestingly interestingly, oh my
(20:45):
goodness, that's what you said.Yeah, I never thought really like to
kill myself. But I remember thinkingthat my life had no work of values.
So if I don't wake up more, it's gonna be okay, nobody
gonna miss me. I'm not importantat all, like not even important that
(21:07):
that worthy even never like crossed mymind. So, yeah, did your
parents know that you had gotten pregnantand that with that by yourself at that
point or since? Yeah, theytotally knew. I literally because my mother
brought me to the hospital. Andso interesting because the doctor started like yelling
(21:27):
at her like and it's so bizarretoo. This is another thing I actually
never talk about this. I'm justthinking because like I'm just saying, oh,
he starts holding my mother. No, he literally lasted on my mother,
And I'm like, that's a bizarre. So you see this woman bringing
this kid who is pregnant. Therewas no medical checkups or anything. That's
(21:52):
like, that's a crazy emergency.You should ask more questions. What's going
on? How you end upted thispart? The situation become how did you
get here? Why did you letthat happen? Kind of thing? As
a parent mom as her exactly likestart losing it on her. I'm like,
I understand why she left. Shesaid, screw the doctor walked out.
(22:14):
Yeah, she walked out, butshe left me, and I'm like,
okay, so what I am like? And I thought I'm gonna die.
I never experienced actually I've been likebeating, raped, abuse, but
that pain of delivering the baby whenI was a kid myself, like that
was like excruciating. I felt likeI'm gonna die because it was like I
(22:37):
felt like it's been tearing me inside. And I was not prepared for that
because nobody ever guided me and toldme that's what the baby delivery is and
that's what you expect. So I'min shock and pain. My mother left.
This guy is yelling at me too, like it was such a bizarre
experience. And then afterwards that whenthey find out that she have actually birthy
(23:03):
fact they brought me to to theoffice and they actually told me for the
for her to stay in the hospitalbecause I couldn't take her home because she
have to be in a hospital.They told me like right away that she's
not gonna survive. So now I'mthinking, I'm terrible, like my mother,
(23:30):
my baby gonna die. I cannotdo anything about it. I am
negligent and all this stuff. Andon top of it, to leave her
actually in the hospital, I hadto give her my name, my last
name, and signed off my parentalrights. So I actually have to like
abandon my child for sake of forthem to treat her. So did they
(23:55):
ask you questions like did the doctorask you about, well, how did
you become pregnant or do you ordid you share with them what you were
going through and how you were kindof basically living in danger? Yeah,
there was like nothing like that.It was all about how they're gonna care
for the baby. And guess what, they just bind me so I would
(24:15):
not have milk and then they kickedme out after one week and that was
it. And that was like,I don't know, it's just so bizarre
how like everything turned out. Andyeah, my mother came to and she
goes like, well, who's gonnatake care of her? You? You
(24:36):
cannot bring her home? But thedoctor says she cannot even bring her home.
So that brought another like huge layerof like just despair, you know,
Like you know, I'm looking rightnow, I have now teen and
preteens. I have the sixteen yearold, but you know, you their
(25:00):
life and I'm thinking, oh mygoodness, she's like dealing with this.
How am I gonna do my hair? Do I look good with glasses?
And it's it's a struggle and strugglesof a different level, but it's completely
another word ruggle. But I'm thinkingwhat you've felt or what you've dealt with
obviously, but you know what,it's not I'm not talking about the fact
(25:22):
that different struggle, but the factis like we have people like parents and
like her teacher, everybody partner upwith her to get her the best life
as possible. Do you need helpthis? You need and you need this?
Like why are you feeling this?It's so like involved and here the
kid go through this trauma and nobodycares, you know, That's what I'm
(25:45):
talking are like nobody even want acare and even like they see and they
still not care. So after that, like I already knew how pregnancy is
supposed to feel. So every timeI get pregnant, I go and get
abortion. So I literally I wouldcome and this the nurses like, you
(26:07):
don't even need like appointment or likeany even like for the dentists, you
need something like signed forms and stuffor some consens or form or something you
fronder age. Yeah, so Iyeah, I just came and I said,
and they check they do blood oryou're pregnant. I go and I
do the abortion, and they literallytalking about their vacation and stuff. And
(26:32):
I'm like heartbroken because I know thatwhat's going on that it's not right,
but I know that I don't wantto die delivering the baby and go through
the baby death again. So thiswas my option. This happened a few
times. A few times. Yeah, I don't even remember, maybe like
four or five times. After Ihad the baby, I had an abortion
(26:55):
and and no, it was notnormal. Like for me, I still
knew that this is not okay,but there's was no other option. I
thought you were trapped in your situationat that time. Yeah, and I
was on drugs too. You know, I know that I wasn't healthy too,
and I knew that it's going tobe a consequences. So the interesting
(27:17):
part though, when a few yearslater, I just have like this moment
of awakening. Now, because I'mChristian, I know God spoke to me,
but at that time, I justfelt that that almost calling within me
saying that you've been made for more? Are you kidding me? Like you're
in the pit of hell? Whatmore? There's like no dreams or hopes
(27:40):
for people like me? What more? But it's literally almost I create this
clarity in my head and I actuallyreally tired of that lifestyle because I saw
people dying of over those my friendgot shot in the face, like they've
been beating by the police. Likethere was so much discord and it's so
interesting stink that I'm start looking fora way out. And then I met
(28:04):
the guy and he's like, ohmy goodness, you have to meet this
lady. She helping, like shecan help you and all this stuff.
So I met her and she lookedlike a celebrity. She offered me fancy
coffee. Sweet she she called melike in her home, you know.
She's like like, honestly, everythinglooks like from the movie like she's like
(28:26):
super fancy. But she was kind. She was kind and compassionate, and
she treated me like a human being, which is like I'm street junking.
Nobody already cared for me for abetter loan. It was like a first
at that time for you to experiencethat. Yeah, and it's like little
scary too someone else's Yeah, whatelse? What is their intentions? Right?
(28:51):
What is someone else's motive listening whenyou like on drugs, there's like
not thinking like that. There waslike no red flux in my head whatsoever.
I take it as rich. Butnow I'm thinking about that the cartoon
about that which with the sweet house, what is that handshel and yeah,
yeah, it was exactly like yeah, it was literally like that. But
(29:15):
I didn't figure out that she's goingto be villain in my story until later
on, because she she said shecan help and she can show for me
job. I said, yes,I agree. I did everything they asked
me to do, and then Ihardly remember and a report and how I
(29:36):
went through customs, I'll never know. Just one morning, wake up here
in this Muslim prayer Allah who barrun out And it was so so crazy
because like it was winter and Iwoke up and it was summer. So
she sold me into human trafficing intoforeign countries. You know, where where
(29:59):
were you? Where did you endin poor country Egypt? Wow? So
the interesting part that I don't know. Somebody said, like people don't quit
drugs because they addicted and all thisstuff, But honestly, sometimes people not
quitting drugs because body shuts down andliterally like your organs do not work,
(30:22):
so like you can have kidney failure, liver failure because there's no more drugs.
So that's the experience that you have, like the heroine. And most
of the time people don't do notsurvive with rolls, so that's why they
continue using it, because like there'sno fancy clinics and detugs and all this
(30:44):
stuff you do in cold Turkey.If you make it, you make it.
If you didn't make it, that'sa lot. So that's what happened
to me. They actually left mefor a couple of days. Nobody bothered
me because I have like like throwingup their my hair hurt, like it
was like I was dying, okay, and and then there was like a
(31:04):
moment that something changed. I'm likewhoa, I'm actually okay, I'm alive.
So I ended up. I wasin a hotel in that one of
the rooms, and apparently we havethere was another girls with me from my
from my city or around my cityas well, and we have like one
(31:25):
or two weeks like visa, sowe were only visa and we have tour
guides and we woke around. Theyactually like fed us in this like restaurant
and they brought us into this beautifulcity where all the buildings were painted white,
(31:48):
so it's like tourist destination. AndI saw this sunset on the Red
Sea and I was so blown away, so like I'm off hairing, like
by default, I've experienced this amazingculture with this like new scent, like
different architecture, Like I see thislike beauty of the nature. I'm walking
(32:12):
in this red sea like it's inthe moment, like it felt like,
oh my gosh, this is thebest thing like that happened to me because
I have no idea what how happeningto me? Yet I was like what
this is the best like and likeI was so grateful in my heart to
experience all this beauty until like nextday they and the police raided our hotel
(32:35):
actually, and because one of thoseguides was like flagged for human trafficking,
so they took us to police station. They took our fingerprints, passports,
and they started asking by you here, but because they have a visa still
okay for that week and we haveour script and they asking what are you
(33:00):
doing here? And we're like eating, traveling, and that's exactly what we
were doing. So they're like,you weren't lying. This is what's actually
happening as far as you know,right, So yeah, yeah, and
they separated us and they asked thesame thing, but we're saying the same
thing because that's the truth for now, right, And so there is that
guy, and they let us gowith that other guy. So that other
(33:23):
guy took us to another mysterious destination. We drove like four hours through the
sand dunes and that's where he dropus off. In the middle of nowhere.
There was like they do intent withtwo huge arm Middle eastrum men who
didn't treat us nice. And that'swhere I got scared for the first time.
(33:45):
I'm like, this is bad.And then they forced us to crawl
under the barb wire to cross theborder. I legally into Israel, and
from Israel they brought us to brotheland sold us into different brotles in Israel.
M And you had no idea untilyou were there. Because everything is
(34:08):
happening, You have no no one'sobviously telling you anything like here you're going
here, or get where you're goingover to Israel, You're going here.
There's just like go here, gothere, and it happens in that moment.
I can't imagine what you're thinking whereyou're going through. I mean,
look at where you left, buthere you're did you feel less or more
safe than where you were because youcame from basically hell as well too.
Did you feel any less safe ormore doing this? Do you feel like
(34:30):
you were escaping until a point?You know what interesting question. I don't
think like I ever felt safe ingeneral, you know, and I don't
think like I ever compare how safeI feel. The interesting part because like
I know, if you guys goingto read my book, there's like a
story there was red flux. Iknow, like there's like so many things
(34:53):
that I could pay attention to,but that time, I literally I just
was like a ship go like whatever, it's it's hopefully it's better than it
was before. But whatever it is, it is what it is. Couldn't
get any worse, you know whatI mean. But when I was in
the desert, that's where I wasactually scared, you know, like for
(35:16):
formal life in general, because Isaw these guys like soldiers with the guns.
You know, I knew that maybeI'm gonna get killed, and there's
so much chaos, people running pushingus. There's guys screaming in different language,
like all that kind of stuff.And it was actually very important what
(35:37):
brought on you ended up in becausethe girls who came with me the gun
and went missing and and some ofthem like never seen again. But I
was bought by the family business,so I actually ended up being fed clean.
They pay me some part of themoney too, and they give me
(35:57):
bodyguards so nobody could rape me andbeat me. And I was like,
this is when you were in Israel. Yeah, I was in Nebrato,
and I thought like, oh,that sounds like upgrade for me because like
where I come from. But it'swent downhill real fast because of course,
like only one way I know howto cope with my problems, it's through
(36:19):
drugs. So I end up ondrugs and booze again. But one of
my bodyguards share the good news ofGod with me and we actually went to
pray at the prayer wall and inJerusalem. He took me there. And
it's so interesting because I knew thatpeople like me that do not deserve mercy
(36:43):
and forgiveness, but still I prayto God and he answered my prayers.
So that's triggered me to actually livemy life. And I kid you not,
guys like in this kind of situation, you don't live alife unless you
have been rescued. But again,by the grace of God one in million,
they actually allowed me to go home. They let me leave. And
(37:07):
what's interesting was that when you sayyou go home, I mean back to
the USSR. Is okay, Ukrainebecause USR, I guess the USSR at
that time was gone. At thattime what years this do you remember?
It was fall apart like when Iwas eleven, So it's like nineteen ninety
one one. Yeah, okay,so so that's kind of let you go
back home then too. Yeah,they let Ukraine. The interesting part though,
(37:31):
you know when I was excuse me, I was in the report.
The guys were checking my passport andI don't have a visa for Israel,
and they still they look at melike where you were, Like I was
there for like over a year.They don't care. They look at each
(37:52):
other, they yeah whatever, andnobody like ask me any questions like today,
yeah't get away with that today.Yeah yeah, yeah, Well it's
good because you got to go home. Wow, I mean you got to
get away from there, go homeas another thing, yeah, exactly to
go home where So I literally Isaved up a little bit money. I
thought I'm gonna start in new life. I came back home and my trustworthy
(38:15):
aunt stolen spent all my money,and my other bodyguard, who was like
a brother to me, cheated meout of all of my possessions. And
I remember, like I already havelike trust issues. It's very hard for
me to actually to be vulnerable andshare that. And then I had this
(38:36):
like a bracelet because like I literallyI felt like I have funny cattack that
like my heart was like yeah,I thought I'm gonna die for so much
anxiety and betrayal, and like whatcan I do now? They know like
how I got this? You know? It was like it was such a
painful experience. So I took thatbracelet that I came with, I go
(39:00):
find drug dealer. In three months, I was already like on drugs the
same as as I left, andthe time I actually became the right hand
of number one drug dealer in mycity, because that's how I was able
to have unlimited amount of drugs ofmoney influenced. And then I thought,
(39:22):
oh, maybe that's how you getworth and value to make people like,
you know, to like now I'mthe boss like and stuff like that.
I actually been hunted. I thought, I'm going to be murdered for these
drugs or I die over those Iactually was using unfiltered and cut those of
(39:45):
five people already. So then Ifelt like in my being again this phrase
you've been made for more and it'sliterally was like pulling me out of it.
So the second time I decided toquit culture y and I leave my
city, I went to Kiev tomy friends and I asked them to help
me. Actually they they became aChristians as well. They were drug adic
(40:10):
who I sold drugs all my lifeand then they decided to quit, so
they actually helped me get through it. But then I couldn't find the job
like the country still was in discord. It was so it was terrible.
So the second time, I didn'tknow what to do, and I sold
myself again into human trafficking because Ithought it was the opportunity to leave my
(40:34):
country because I was definitely going tobe dead there. There's no no hope
for me. So this time theytrafficked me to Canada, but they allowed
me to actually go to school.We actually tell you we only have about
about two minutes left in this too. Unfortunately a zoom counts down against don't
know if you can see it onyour end, but it shows on mine.
(40:55):
So I don't want to like getyou cut off. So I guess
obviously the story as a positive endingbecause you're here, you're safe, You've
got a big life. There's somuch more I could dig into about this
with you. But for people whowant to know more at this time,
and hopefully you and I can talkagain and we can continue this, I
have to do it so much more. I didn't make it to the good
pint, no stupid zoom. Ihate it. But for people I want
(41:16):
to check out in the meantime,we want to look at your book and
find you and connect with you onsocials. Where can they do that?
Absolutely? And sorry I've been lastweek. I've been so sick, So
sorry for coughing. But l En A C b U l A and
that's c A. That's my websiteand all the information there and actually you
(41:38):
can have free resources there my podcast, my book, my coaching and everything
that I'm doing right now. ButI would be so pleased to come for
a second part, Like if youhave a time for me available, I
do. I'll send you a messagebecause we should connect the next maybe week
(41:58):
or SoCs could be part one andpart I don't want to leave you hanging
too long, especially when we're intoit. So but just that part of
it's pretty cool too. I haveno doubt. I'm glad it has a
happy anybody. There's lots to diginto. Absolutely awesome, Lena. We'll
talk soon. Thank you so much. Have a good day. You've been
listening to the Nobody's or Somebody's podcastwith me Chad Wece and this podcast has
(42:20):
been voted the number one podcast bypeople that don't vote
Nobodies are somebodies, Chad Advice,Nobody's There's Somebody's podcast. And before I
get to my conversation with Lena,I want to give you a little story,
a little feel good story, atleast it was for me. I
was going to my local drug store, Shoppers drug Marts that's in Canada.
If you're in the States, that'dbe like a CVS or a Walgreens.
(00:21):
And before I went in, therewas a homeless person that was kind of
seated outside, just kind of sittingthere and asking people for change, not
aggressively, not in a weird way, just sitting there, just kind of
keeping to himself. But of course, every time someone would pass by,
he'd ask them if they had sparechange, very polite and nice about it.
So of course he asked me,and I don't, friend, I'm
(00:42):
not lying. I don't really carrymoney on me at all. So if
you're looking to rob me, Idon't have any money. And if you're
looking to rob me, I don'thave any money. But I didn't have
any spare change. But I do. I like to get rid of it
too. A lot of it isjust loose coins that sit in my car
that I just don't need and ifsomeone truly needs it, then sure,
no problem, I'll go. ButI didn't have any, so but I
(01:02):
told him that, and I smiledat him and kept going, and as
I passed by, he thanked mefor smiling. He's like, thank you
for at least smiling and acknowledging me. And I, you know, I
said, okay, that's cool.Yeah, like I didn't. I just
said, yeah, no problem atall, and I walked in picked up
my I picked up some alo veraafter cool after sunburn cool after sunburn alo
(01:25):
vera from my son Cameron, whowent on a school field trip, My
youngest son, Cameron, who's aboutto turn thirteen. By the way,
by the time you hear this,he's probably going to be thirteen years old.
Yay. My last, my youngestboy is now a teenager. Yay.
So I got him some after suncream for his sunburn, and I
left the man still parked outside,still seated outside, and he said to
(01:48):
me, he said, have agood day, and I said you too.
I hope you do as well,or try to. And as I'm
walking away to my car, hesays to me, I never expected.
He says to me, I neverexpected someone worrying that kind of shirt that
you're wearing to be so nice.So that's very cool, thank you.
And I looked down at my shirtand I realized I wore a shirt that,
actually, ironically enough, my kidshad bought me for Father's Day,
(02:13):
one that says fun fact, Idon't care. So and so I kind
of had to stop and think fora moment and thought, oh yeah,
and I said something like, oh, I wear what I like and I
wear what fits, you know,kind of like a joke, and he
laughed and we laughed and shared thatgood moment, and that was it.
So I don't know, it wasjust a really cool experience. I mean,
(02:34):
not cool for him, not youknow, you know, having to
struggle and go through things that he'sgoing through right now, because hey,
a lot of people are doing thatand we don't even realize it. A
lot of people we see on thestreets. There's a lot of people who
are this close and maybe on thestreets that you don't realize. And it
could be someone you think as welloff too, So just be mindful of
that and always just be nice andcourteous and respectful of people, especially ones
(02:58):
you don't know. You can treatpeople that you know like garbage obviously because
you know what they're going through.I'm kidding. But what you don't know
sure can affect other people that youdon't realize. So just be good,
be a cool person, don't bea dick. That's what I got to
say on this week's intro for theNobody's or Somebody's podcast. Now let's get
to my conversation with Lena. Avery intense story, so listener, be
(03:23):
worn. There's a lot of thingsgoing on in Lena's story, all true,
and this is part one of that. Unfortunately, our zoom conversation the
time ran out, so I couldn'tkeep I didn't want to let her go
with just the way we ended thestory because we got so much more to
talk about. I won't give itall away, but she's basically a human
trafficking survivor has gone to find avery happy and healthy, fulfilling life with
(03:46):
her family, her husband and childrennow moving to Canada. But how she
got here and all she had togo through to get here from a teenage
from her teenage years until now,this is only scratch the service. This
is only part of the story.It does have a happy ending, like
I just said, but the detailsmay be a bit graphic for some,
so please use that discretion. Butthis is an important story. So without
(04:10):
further ado, my conversation with Lenahere on the Nobody's or Somebody's podcast.
This is part one. Here wego, Lena, how are you.
It's good to meet you great,Thank you so much for having me.
For sure, you have quite astory, so I'm looking forward to dig
into it and get to know youa little bit better, and hopefully that
people that hear this will if theydon't know your name or know what you
(04:30):
do, they're going to hear aboutit now. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate that, because,honestly, I have never imagined that after
twenty years of silence, I wouldbe standing on stage in front of hundreds
of people and my story would bebroadcasted all over social media because I thought
(04:53):
it was the story of sham,guilt and condemnation. But now I know
it's a story of salvation. Somegreat full for your platform and for you
allowed me to come and share mystory here. What absolutely it is?
So I should ask it at thestart, what made you finally decide that
you were ready to do that.I assume this is not the first time
you spoke publicly about it. Sowhat made you decide to you say,
(05:15):
you know what, I'm going tobreak that like you said, guilt and
shame and kind of just say,you know what, I'm going to own
this. And I got to tellpeople what I went through and if they're
going through it too, maybe theycan find some help. So what was
the catalyst that make that made youdecide to speak and break your silence?
This is actually a really good questionbecause I didn't want to share my story.
(05:36):
But the way you guys gonna hearit tonight, it's been already three
years I was sharing this story,so it doesn't have a hold on me.
It's definitely didn't sound the same whenit's just started. But I actually
give my life to Christ and I'vebeen Christian for five years, and I
(05:58):
felt in my spirit that I shouldwrite a book and just go into my
past, and so I could.That time, I thought it was for
somebody else, you know, Ithought God want to show people that there
(06:20):
is always hope, no matter thatwhat you went through, they're always like
overcoming and there's a chance to havelove joy, healing, peace, everything
that our mind. Just imagine evenif you have this huge amount of trauma.
So I thought like I was workingfor someone else, but I trusted
(06:46):
God, you know, and hetook me back and there was actually no
pain. It was so interesting becauseit was such an amazing process. I
reconcile with my family, I reconcilewith my past. I realize that lots
of stuff that's been done to methat was not in my control, I
(07:08):
was product of my environment. Irealized that same as my parents had the
struggle as well, they couldn't giveme something that they didn't have. But
to look back with a new perspective, as I'm healed forgiving love and plus
like I'm a mom of three kidsand wife and I've been a long time
(07:30):
in the marriage, I didn't knowhow heart it is. So then I
start have like compassion to my motherbecause I was thinking myself, what kind
of women I would be if Ididn't have my husband support, or if
I didn't have the community, orI wouldn't live in this wonderful country that
I was able to stay home withmy kids and working on my mental health
(07:56):
and take the help of the professionaland God and my community even like have
a hot water of food or diapers, you know how, Like what kind
of mom I would be because atthat time I was on receiving and I
was seeking that love, validation,warm comfort. But that woman was falling
(08:20):
apart, so she didn't have anythingto give. But until I look back,
I didn't see that all I harboredthis heat like for my parents that
they failed me, and hate formyself that I was doing all this stuff
(08:41):
and allowed this to happen. Andit was quite a journey. It was
such a healing journey. So Idon't know, guys, if you have
faith or where you stand. Onething for sure, if you have something
that still lingering, if you havelike some trauma that you never share.
You don't have to go on podcastsand write a book, but I kid
(09:03):
you not write about it. Ithink that's what really helped me to take
this burden from my soul, youknow. And sometimes maybe you don't even
need to share with anyone, butat least you need to stop being afraid
to look back and trust me,that's what healing is gonna happen. Because
all the darkness, all those likedark feelings in the secret, and that's
(09:30):
what I thought. It was somefor somebody else. But when my book
published, I said to my husband, if nobody ever going to buy this
book, it changed my life.Yeah, absolutely too. Absolutely, when
you wrote the book, was thisthe I guess the first time you shared
it or you talked about this withother people in your social circle, like
when you met your husband, andthen for those who don't know, you
(09:52):
can talk a bit about what youwent through. But when you first met
your husband and then started writing thisbook, did they know about your past
traumas or is this all new tothem as well? This is very interesting
because when I met my husband,I thought it's gonna be just, you
know, nothing serious. You know, I never had any really like respects
(10:13):
for men. I will tell youa story and you will understand why.
I never really thought that it's gonnago anywhere. And so no, I
didn't tell him anything. But whenhe proposed, and I thought, I
think I want to him to chooseto marry me, and I didn't want
(10:35):
to lie to him. And actuallythis is like when we start, like
I said, it's getting serious.I chose not to lie to him anymore.
But not to lie to him fromthat point that we met, so
the past was always off limits.But then when he proposed, I wrote
him six page letter. I wascrying in the balcony. I knew he
(10:58):
not gonna marry me because I wasI would not married me because I knew
I'm not worthy of like being wifeand mother of anything like I thought I
would be that million times over.But he actually he didn't read that letter.
He said, like, I loveyou for who you are now and
(11:18):
your past is between you and God. And that time I was so grateful
that I don't have to tell him. But sometimes now after twenty years,
guy's been with the same and I'mthinking, like I wish he would know
and chose me, because then hewould know extent of the trauma and would
(11:39):
Yeah, did he never? He'snever read the letter since. No,
he never because he said, likeBernie very bait apart, so it was
not existing. But it's so interestingthough, because like I don't have like
any regrets that it took us,took our marriage in this journey of like
this self discovery with your lives thatof us need help and our marriage needn't
(12:01):
help it, so like it ithappens how it's supposed to be happening.
And trust me, girls, ifyou think, oh my goodness, if
I have this like angel in mylife, I would be better to trust
me. Like, he's not perfecttoo. We have aron stuff, so
don't you think like and we realizethat each of us have to work on
(12:22):
ourselves first and then we come andbring something together in a family. But
our core value is aligned about howwe want to raise kids, how we
want our life goes. So Ido believe this is the part and what's
of what's a God in her life? You know, God's true the challenges.
(12:45):
So when I actually give my bookto editor, this is was first
person who read my story and thiswas his first time ever hearing about what
you've been through. And I can'timagine his reaction. Yes, I actually
no, like he didn't read theBookman to editor and asked him do you
want to read the book or youwant to hear the story? And he
(13:05):
wanted me to tell him. Sowe actually like drew this outside. We
drop off all our kids at thechurch and we drew outside the city and
we stood in this beautiful that thatwas like so bizarre, that was like
movie in itself. Because it wasso beautiful sunset and we're in this place.
(13:26):
We can see the valley and citylike Ha's so it was so pretty.
And he was standing like you know, I was looking at his profile
and just give it to him everything. And I think, because I already
went through three years writing my manuscript, I knew that it doesn't have a
hold on me. So after allall my story and I give him so
(13:50):
much more than went into the bookbecause I chose to create the book so
it's it's doesn't trigger like any traumasand people run into therapists and all this
stuff. I wanted people to havehope and see the hope. So I
already suffer enough, you don't haveto. So this book actually been written
(14:13):
so anybody can read, you know, my thirteen year old credit. So
just don't want to make sure.But when I was telling him, I
give him some more details, youknow, because I'm going to be honest
with him to that level. Andthen I ask him like are you angry?
Like what do you feel about this? And he said, there's two
(14:35):
things. One you've been healed andthe second all this book has a purpose.
Wow, that's pretty deep. Yeah, for him to grasp that that's
pretty uh, that's good. Yeah, And then I said to him,
are you angry? That's like thatyou didn't know, and he's like,
I'm kind of like more angry wouldhave been done to you. But honestly,
(14:58):
everything that opened up and other canof worms because of course, like
when this is coming out, it'sanother layer of like the stuff that we
have to deal with, and it'slife, you know. So I'm really
grateful to God that he'd been sofaithful to me up to this point and
(15:18):
actually creating something beautiful out of thisstory. But I have so many amazing
women like and people partner up withme after I share my story, and
it was such an amazing experience.I totally did not expect that people are
gonna love on me and comfort meand have compassion to me, because I
(15:41):
do need to share my story becauseI believe the lie that I'm gonna be
rejected, that they're gonna stone me, that I have to create this fake
persona that everybody gonna like me,you know. So there's like fears of
rejection and all this stuff. Andit was so interesting because God called me
to write this book when already wasa mother with three kids, a volunteer
(16:04):
at church. I have my ownbusiness for sixteen years, you know,
so I'm kind of upset and that'swhat people see. And it's funny.
Somebody in church said to my kids, your mom so lovely, so much
fun, and my kids like,you don't know, you don't I like
radio, which is all true.But there's a difference to people, right,
(16:26):
Yeah, and it hits you.We never know who the person is
until they tell us the truth.Yeah, absolutely, you're right. I'm
not going to ask you to obviouslydo your book here the whole book,
a word by word, piece bypiece, but for the general idea of
it so people know what we're talkingabout. Do you want to touch on
(16:47):
some of your past and kind ofbring it to light here just so people
can kind of get your full scopeand full story. Yes, absolutely so.
I was born and raised in USSR, and when the Ukraine claim independent,
my city ended up being in Ukraine. So my parents already struggled in
their marriage, and this discord inthe country brought another level, like putting
(17:11):
the oil in the fire, sothey became an alcoholics. They lost well
paid jobs, and the government turnedoff electricity and hot water for outstanding bills,
and our house and it was sodirty. It was invested with our
home with mice and cockroaches and blackmold and really struggling poverty, trying to
(17:36):
survive. So I was starving allthe time, and my home was full
of strangers because they brought booze anddrugs, but they brought food as well,
so it was for me opportunity toscore something to eat. And that's
how I became an easy target forthose guys from a very early age.
So around thirteen fourteen, raped andabused and the government didn't step in,
(18:07):
Like police didn't protect me, Myparents didn't protect me, and so so
bizarre. Right now I'm living inthis beautiful country, I'm in Canada.
I'm thinking, you know what,it's so bizarre that I was in a
hospital with concussions, broken bonds,the alcohol abuse. I was like the
(18:33):
kids, you know, nobody everasked what's going on in that home that
this kid ended up in the hospitalwith this severe like promise, like you
know, all the physical prom yeahand no, like it was so bizarre.
And a few times I went topolice and I want to report that
as well, and they said,oh, you're from this house, and
(18:56):
they literally discard whatever like I wassaying to them. And one of the
time that when the gang drank me, the guys were drugging me around my
house and my father said, justtake her as long as you doesn't bother
me. And that level of heatto all of those level of the you
(19:18):
know, adults who're supposed to beprotecting me, that fuel that that rage.
But on the other hand, Iwas I didn't know where to go,
so I tried to run away andbe homeless, but I always come
back because there's only one roof thatI know. So when I thought prins
(19:41):
couldn't get any worse, one monthbefore my fifteenth birthday, I woke up
with severe abdominal pain and I endedup in hospital and they told me that
I'm in labor and I didn't knowI was pregnant. I didn't know who
her father was. So my babydied three months later her from health complications.
(20:02):
So I carried her little kusky tothe cemetery in my arms, and
for the next twenty years, thatimage plagued my mind and my soul like
and I couldn't stop the brain fromthis torture. I honestly lived, like
in this psychological hell in my headto saying that I killed the baby by
(20:25):
and all that stuff. So Istart drinking and using drugs just to midicate
my pain, and I found theheroin because it was the longest time it
could turn me off. And interestingly, interestingly, interestingly interestingly, oh my
(20:45):
goodness, that's what you said.Yeah, I never thought really like to
kill myself. But I remember thinkingthat my life had no work of values.
So if I don't wake up more, it's gonna be okay, nobody
gonna miss me. I'm not importantat all, like not even important that
(21:07):
that worthy even never like crossed mymind. So, yeah, did your
parents know that you had gotten pregnantand that with that by yourself at that
point or since? Yeah, theytotally knew. I literally because my mother
brought me to the hospital. Andso interesting because the doctor started like yelling
(21:27):
at her like and it's so bizarretoo. This is another thing I actually
never talk about this. I'm justthinking because like I'm just saying, oh,
he starts holding my mother. No, he literally lasted on my mother,
And I'm like, that's a bizarre. So you see this woman bringing
this kid who is pregnant. Therewas no medical checkups or anything. That's
(21:52):
like, that's a crazy emergency.You should ask more questions. What's going
on? How you end upted thispart? The situation become how did you
get here? Why did you letthat happen? Kind of thing? As
a parent mom as her exactly likestart losing it on her. I'm like,
I understand why she left. Shesaid, screw the doctor walked out.
(22:14):
Yeah, she walked out, butshe left me, and I'm like,
okay, so what I am like? And I thought I'm gonna die.
I never experienced actually I've been likebeating, raped, abuse, but
that pain of delivering the baby whenI was a kid myself, like that
was like excruciating. I felt likeI'm gonna die because it was like I
(22:37):
felt like it's been tearing me inside. And I was not prepared for that
because nobody ever guided me and toldme that's what the baby delivery is and
that's what you expect. So I'min shock and pain. My mother left.
This guy is yelling at me too, like it was such a bizarre
experience. And then afterwards that whenthey find out that she have actually birthy
(23:03):
fact they brought me to to theoffice and they actually told me for the
for her to stay in the hospitalbecause I couldn't take her home because she
have to be in a hospital.They told me like right away that she's
not gonna survive. So now I'mthinking, I'm terrible, like my mother,
(23:30):
my baby gonna die. I cannotdo anything about it. I am
negligent and all this stuff. Andon top of it, to leave her
actually in the hospital, I hadto give her my name, my last
name, and signed off my parentalrights. So I actually have to like
abandon my child for sake of forthem to treat her. So did they
(23:55):
ask you questions like did the doctorask you about, well, how did
you become pregnant or do you ordid you share with them what you were
going through and how you were kindof basically living in danger? Yeah,
there was like nothing like that.It was all about how they're gonna care
for the baby. And guess what, they just bind me so I would
(24:15):
not have milk and then they kickedme out after one week and that was
it. And that was like,I don't know, it's just so bizarre
how like everything turned out. Andyeah, my mother came to and she
goes like, well, who's gonnatake care of her? You? You
(24:36):
cannot bring her home? But thedoctor says she cannot even bring her home.
So that brought another like huge layerof like just despair, you know,
Like you know, I'm looking rightnow, I have now teen and
preteens. I have the sixteen yearold, but you know, you their
(25:00):
life and I'm thinking, oh mygoodness, she's like dealing with this.
How am I gonna do my hair? Do I look good with glasses?
And it's it's a struggle and strugglesof a different level, but it's completely
another word ruggle. But I'm thinkingwhat you've felt or what you've dealt with
obviously, but you know what,it's not I'm not talking about the fact
(25:22):
that different struggle, but the factis like we have people like parents and
like her teacher, everybody partner upwith her to get her the best life
as possible. Do you need helpthis? You need and you need this?
Like why are you feeling this?It's so like involved and here the
kid go through this trauma and nobodycares, you know, That's what I'm
(25:45):
talking are like nobody even want acare and even like they see and they
still not care. So after that, like I already knew how pregnancy is
supposed to feel. So every timeI get pregnant, I go and get
abortion. So I literally I wouldcome and this the nurses like, you
(26:07):
don't even need like appointment or likeany even like for the dentists, you
need something like signed forms and stuffor some consens or form or something you
fronder age. Yeah, so Iyeah, I just came and I said,
and they check they do blood oryou're pregnant. I go and I
do the abortion, and they literallytalking about their vacation and stuff. And
(26:32):
I'm like heartbroken because I know thatwhat's going on that it's not right,
but I know that I don't wantto die delivering the baby and go through
the baby death again. So thiswas my option. This happened a few
times. A few times. Yeah, I don't even remember, maybe like
four or five times. After Ihad the baby, I had an abortion
(26:55):
and and no, it was notnormal. Like for me, I still
knew that this is not okay,but there's was no other option. I
thought you were trapped in your situationat that time. Yeah, and I
was on drugs too. You know, I know that I wasn't healthy too,
and I knew that it's going tobe a consequences. So the interesting
(27:17):
part though, when a few yearslater, I just have like this moment
of awakening. Now, because I'mChristian, I know God spoke to me,
but at that time, I justfelt that that almost calling within me
saying that you've been made for more? Are you kidding me? Like you're
in the pit of hell? Whatmore? There's like no dreams or hopes
(27:40):
for people like me? What more? But it's literally almost I create this
clarity in my head and I actuallyreally tired of that lifestyle because I saw
people dying of over those my friendgot shot in the face, like they've
been beating by the police. Likethere was so much discord and it's so
interesting stink that I'm start looking fora way out. And then I met
(28:04):
the guy and he's like, ohmy goodness, you have to meet this
lady. She helping, like shecan help you and all this stuff.
So I met her and she lookedlike a celebrity. She offered me fancy
coffee. Sweet she she called melike in her home, you know.
She's like like, honestly, everythinglooks like from the movie like she's like
(28:26):
super fancy. But she was kind. She was kind and compassionate, and
she treated me like a human being, which is like I'm street junking.
Nobody already cared for me for abetter loan. It was like a first
at that time for you to experiencethat. Yeah, and it's like little
scary too someone else's Yeah, whatelse? What is their intentions? Right?
(28:51):
What is someone else's motive listening whenyou like on drugs, there's like
not thinking like that. There waslike no red flux in my head whatsoever.
I take it as rich. Butnow I'm thinking about that the cartoon
about that which with the sweet house, what is that handshel and yeah,
yeah, it was exactly like yeah, it was literally like that. But
(29:15):
I didn't figure out that she's goingto be villain in my story until later
on, because she she said shecan help and she can show for me
job. I said, yes,I agree. I did everything they asked
me to do, and then Ihardly remember and a report and how I
(29:36):
went through customs, I'll never know. Just one morning, wake up here
in this Muslim prayer Allah who barrun out And it was so so crazy
because like it was winter and Iwoke up and it was summer. So
she sold me into human trafficing intoforeign countries. You know, where where
(29:59):
were you? Where did you endin poor country Egypt? Wow? So
the interesting part that I don't know. Somebody said, like people don't quit
drugs because they addicted and all thisstuff, But honestly, sometimes people not
quitting drugs because body shuts down andliterally like your organs do not work,
(30:22):
so like you can have kidney failure, liver failure because there's no more drugs.
So that's the experience that you have, like the heroine. And most
of the time people don't do notsurvive with rolls, so that's why they
continue using it, because like there'sno fancy clinics and detugs and all this
(30:44):
stuff you do in cold Turkey.If you make it, you make it.
If you didn't make it, that'sa lot. So that's what happened
to me. They actually left mefor a couple of days. Nobody bothered
me because I have like like throwingup their my hair hurt, like it
was like I was dying, okay, and and then there was like a
(31:04):
moment that something changed. I'm likewhoa, I'm actually okay, I'm alive.
So I ended up. I wasin a hotel in that one of
the rooms, and apparently we havethere was another girls with me from my
from my city or around my cityas well, and we have like one
(31:25):
or two weeks like visa, sowe were only visa and we have tour
guides and we woke around. Theyactually like fed us in this like restaurant
and they brought us into this beautifulcity where all the buildings were painted white,
(31:48):
so it's like tourist destination. AndI saw this sunset on the Red
Sea and I was so blown away, so like I'm off hairing, like
by default, I've experienced this amazingculture with this like new scent, like
different architecture, Like I see thislike beauty of the nature. I'm walking
(32:12):
in this red sea like it's inthe moment, like it felt like,
oh my gosh, this is thebest thing like that happened to me because
I have no idea what how happeningto me? Yet I was like what
this is the best like and likeI was so grateful in my heart to
experience all this beauty until like nextday they and the police raided our hotel
(32:35):
actually, and because one of thoseguides was like flagged for human trafficking,
so they took us to police station. They took our fingerprints, passports,
and they started asking by you here, but because they have a visa still
okay for that week and we haveour script and they asking what are you
(33:00):
doing here? And we're like eating, traveling, and that's exactly what we
were doing. So they're like,you weren't lying. This is what's actually
happening as far as you know,right, So yeah, yeah, and
they separated us and they asked thesame thing, but we're saying the same
thing because that's the truth for now, right, And so there is that
guy, and they let us gowith that other guy. So that other
(33:23):
guy took us to another mysterious destination. We drove like four hours through the
sand dunes and that's where he dropus off. In the middle of nowhere.
There was like they do intent withtwo huge arm Middle eastrum men who
didn't treat us nice. And that'swhere I got scared for the first time.
(33:45):
I'm like, this is bad.And then they forced us to crawl
under the barb wire to cross theborder. I legally into Israel, and
from Israel they brought us to brotheland sold us into different brotles in Israel.
M And you had no idea untilyou were there. Because everything is
(34:08):
happening, You have no no one'sobviously telling you anything like here you're going
here, or get where you're goingover to Israel, You're going here.
There's just like go here, gothere, and it happens in that moment.
I can't imagine what you're thinking whereyou're going through. I mean,
look at where you left, buthere you're did you feel less or more
safe than where you were because youcame from basically hell as well too.
Did you feel any less safe ormore doing this? Do you feel like
(34:30):
you were escaping until a point?You know what interesting question. I don't
think like I ever felt safe ingeneral, you know, and I don't
think like I ever compare how safeI feel. The interesting part because like
I know, if you guys goingto read my book, there's like a
story there was red flux. Iknow, like there's like so many things
(34:53):
that I could pay attention to,but that time, I literally I just
was like a ship go like whatever, it's it's hopefully it's better than it
was before. But whatever it is, it is what it is. Couldn't
get any worse, you know whatI mean. But when I was in
the desert, that's where I wasactually scared, you know, like for
(35:16):
formal life in general, because Isaw these guys like soldiers with the guns.
You know, I knew that maybeI'm gonna get killed, and there's
so much chaos, people running pushingus. There's guys screaming in different language,
like all that kind of stuff.And it was actually very important what
(35:37):
brought on you ended up in becausethe girls who came with me the gun
and went missing and and some ofthem like never seen again. But I
was bought by the family business,so I actually ended up being fed clean.
They pay me some part of themoney too, and they give me
(35:57):
bodyguards so nobody could rape me andbeat me. And I was like,
this is when you were in Israel. Yeah, I was in Nebrato,
and I thought like, oh,that sounds like upgrade for me because like
where I come from. But it'swent downhill real fast because of course,
like only one way I know howto cope with my problems, it's through
(36:19):
drugs. So I end up ondrugs and booze again. But one of
my bodyguards share the good news ofGod with me and we actually went to
pray at the prayer wall and inJerusalem. He took me there. And
it's so interesting because I knew thatpeople like me that do not deserve mercy
(36:43):
and forgiveness, but still I prayto God and he answered my prayers.
So that's triggered me to actually livemy life. And I kid you not,
guys like in this kind of situation, you don't live alife unless you
have been rescued. But again,by the grace of God one in million,
they actually allowed me to go home. They let me leave. And
(37:07):
what's interesting was that when you sayyou go home, I mean back to
the USSR. Is okay, Ukrainebecause USR, I guess the USSR at
that time was gone. At thattime what years this do you remember?
It was fall apart like when Iwas eleven, So it's like nineteen ninety
one one. Yeah, okay,so so that's kind of let you go
back home then too. Yeah,they let Ukraine. The interesting part though,
(37:31):
you know when I was excuse me, I was in the report.
The guys were checking my passport andI don't have a visa for Israel,
and they still they look at melike where you were, Like I was
there for like over a year.They don't care. They look at each
(37:52):
other, they yeah whatever, andnobody like ask me any questions like today,
yeah't get away with that today.Yeah yeah, yeah, Well it's
good because you got to go home. Wow, I mean you got to
get away from there, go homeas another thing, yeah, exactly to
go home where So I literally Isaved up a little bit money. I
thought I'm gonna start in new life. I came back home and my trustworthy
(38:15):
aunt stolen spent all my money,and my other bodyguard, who was like
a brother to me, cheated meout of all of my possessions. And
I remember, like I already havelike trust issues. It's very hard for
me to actually to be vulnerable andshare that. And then I had this
(38:36):
like a bracelet because like I literallyI felt like I have funny cattack that
like my heart was like yeah,I thought I'm gonna die for so much
anxiety and betrayal, and like whatcan I do now? They know like
how I got this? You know? It was like it was such a
painful experience. So I took thatbracelet that I came with, I go
(39:00):
find drug dealer. In three months, I was already like on drugs the
same as as I left, andthe time I actually became the right hand
of number one drug dealer in mycity, because that's how I was able
to have unlimited amount of drugs ofmoney influenced. And then I thought,
(39:22):
oh, maybe that's how you getworth and value to make people like,
you know, to like now I'mthe boss like and stuff like that.
I actually been hunted. I thought, I'm going to be murdered for these
drugs or I die over those Iactually was using unfiltered and cut those of
(39:45):
five people already. So then Ifelt like in my being again this phrase
you've been made for more and it'sliterally was like pulling me out of it.
So the second time I decided toquit culture y and I leave my
city, I went to Kiev tomy friends and I asked them to help
me. Actually they they became aChristians as well. They were drug adic
(40:10):
who I sold drugs all my lifeand then they decided to quit, so
they actually helped me get through it. But then I couldn't find the job
like the country still was in discord. It was so it was terrible.
So the second time, I didn'tknow what to do, and I sold
myself again into human trafficking because Ithought it was the opportunity to leave my
(40:34):
country because I was definitely going tobe dead there. There's no no hope
for me. So this time theytrafficked me to Canada, but they allowed
me to actually go to school.We actually tell you we only have about
about two minutes left in this too. Unfortunately a zoom counts down against don't
know if you can see it onyour end, but it shows on mine.
(40:55):
So I don't want to like getyou cut off. So I guess
obviously the story as a positive endingbecause you're here, you're safe, You've
got a big life. There's somuch more I could dig into about this
with you. But for people whowant to know more at this time,
and hopefully you and I can talkagain and we can continue this, I
have to do it so much more. I didn't make it to the good
pint, no stupid zoom. Ihate it. But for people I want
(41:16):
to check out in the meantime,we want to look at your book and
find you and connect with you onsocials. Where can they do that?
Absolutely? And sorry I've been lastweek. I've been so sick, So
sorry for coughing. But l En A C b U l A and
that's c A. That's my websiteand all the information there and actually you
(41:38):
can have free resources there my podcast, my book, my coaching and everything
that I'm doing right now. ButI would be so pleased to come for
a second part, Like if youhave a time for me available, I
do. I'll send you a messagebecause we should connect the next maybe week
(41:58):
or SoCs could be part one andpart I don't want to leave you hanging
too long, especially when we're intoit. So but just that part of
it's pretty cool too. I haveno doubt. I'm glad it has a
happy anybody. There's lots to diginto. Absolutely awesome, Lena. We'll
talk soon. Thank you so much. Have a good day. You've been
listening to the Nobody's or Somebody's podcastwith me Chad Wece and this podcast has
(42:20):
been voted the number one podcast bypeople that don't vote
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