Episode Transcript
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The Craft Foods Company, makers ofCraft Quality Foods, presents Harold Perry as
the Great Kilder Sleeve. Well,it's a crisp, cold night in Summerfield.
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Here and there a lighted Christmas treeflows warmly in a window. Holly
reads has begun to appear. Theground is white with new snow, and
it's still falling, big fat flakesthat cling to the porches and the trees
and of the brim of the GreatGuilder sleeves hat. As he hurries down
his front steps, makes a cautiousturn as he reaches the sidewalk, and
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then strides daily up the street towardsCatherine Milford's house. Deck the hole with
bows of polly FALLA la la,la, la, la, la la.
Here's the season to be jolly.Follow la la la, what me,
leroy? I would run so fast? The sidewalks a slippery even Look
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here pretty good? This is theone time those big feet come in handy
better than skeeze, leroy. Whereare you going? Unh Well, I
thought I'd be dropping in at MissMilford's for a while this evening. Can
I walk with you? I'm goingto Piggy's house and putting up that tree
tonight. We're going to decorate it. Well, good, don't stand on
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the furniture. You gotta help us, know for decorate her tree? You
can never tell Roy. We maystring a few cranberries, drape the icicles
around. What if doctor Olson isthere? Roy? Don't you worry about
doctor Olson? I'm not. Yousaid he was a pain in the neck.
You said he was always playing aroundher house when you wanted to be
there. Well, you weren't supposedto have heard that. But it used
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to be that way. How isit now? Yeah? Yeah, suffice
to say, my boy, thatyour old uncle has a situation very well
under control. The fact is Ihaven't seen doctor Clarence Q. Olson in
over three weeks. She then youwouldn't, aren't you, hunkie? You
bet I'm winning got you gotta besmart to be the doctor too. You
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said it, Gee you're my uncle. Yeah. Well, here's Priggy's house.
Seal you later, Ye, seeyou later, Leroy, Yes,
sir, there's a mighty fine boy. Well trock Martin. Hello, Katherine,
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come on in, fly snowing out, isn't it well? Just a
little look at you. You havea big snowflake right in the end of
your nose. I do well,cold nose, warm heart. Let me
take your thank you well beautiful tree, Catherine, and Christmas presents followse for
me. No, but you canhelp me finish wrapping them. Fine,
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a lot of presents, well,mother and I have a lot of relatives.
Oh sure, then I couldn't forgetthose darling children down at the hospital.
Oh there are five of them thatSanta Claus may not remember. Well,
good for you, Catherine, beashamed if any little kiddies were forgotten
on Christmas. Here, put yourfinger on this ribbon while I tied an
autom kind of cold tried. Yeah, interesting paper you're using, Catherine,
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missiletoe design. Just put the packageover there. Well, I think I'll
balance it right on top of yourhead. And you know what that means,
mistletoe. Aren't you rushing this seasona little? Well, I don't
know, only nine more shopping daysleft. You better put the package down
there by the tree. See,here's a fancy looking package. I think
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that's Mother's gift to me. Yourmother couldn't wait a Let me shake this,
but I guess what's in it now? Slot more than card fell off.
Oh, dear, isn't that justlike your mother to the dearest girl
in the world. Clarence Clarence,Doc Morton, give me the package.
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That one isn't from mother? Oh, I guess not Doctor Clarence Holson,
the internal I thought he'd given up. Clarence has been on night duty at
the hospital. I can hardly waitto open his presence. He always thinks
of the most original things. Well, I haven't brought you my present yet.
I'm liable to think of something prettyoriginal too. Oh, give me
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a hint. Hm. Well,at the hospital, Clarence keeps teasing me
about what's in this package. Ohhe does, does he U? All
he'll tell me is that it startswith a K for Catherine. Isn't that
clever? Well, I guess there'sa fine line between being clever and being
corny, now, rock Morton,he's very ingenious. In fact, the
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mistletoe paper was his idea. Itwas well, it might have been his
idea, but I was the firstone who thought of holding it over your
head. I think coming Bertie,Hm, I wish I knew what that
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fellow Olsener is giving Katherine for Christmas. I'll have to go on one better.
Good morning Untie, Hi, goodmorning children, cruel Marjorie. What
Christmas presents can you think of?That starts with a letter K K?
Well, who's the present for U? A little kid? We know spelled
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K? I d hardly, Roy, I was thinking about something for a
young lady. You mean me?Well, we'll get around to you children
later. There's a present under missMilford's tree and starts with a K.
I'm trying to think what it isforgot what you gave her? Hunk.
I haven't done my shopping yet,le Roy. This was from somebody else?
Oh, what do you mean?Nor hoo? It's miss Milfurd's present
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from doctor Olson, isn't it?Well? Yes? Which more of doc?
Why do you want to know whatit is? Well? I don't
want to give her the same present, Leroy. I'd like to give her
something a little better. Well,if it starts with a K, maybe
it's a kodak kodak. It's apretty big package. I know it's a
kangaroo Oka. I doubt that,Leroy. Doctor Olson isn't that ingenious?
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Canary. I don't think it's alive, Leroy, as I recall, canary
doesn't start with a K, likesome hard coffee. Mister kills me.
Thank you, Bertie. It couldbe nicknacks north of this is coffee.
We're trying to think of some gifta woman would like starting with k.
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Oh any ideas, Bertie, I'mgetting him from everybody and some pretty bad
ones. Well, it's for awoman. Made you something for the kitchen,
kitchen. I can't think of anythingfor the kitchen that starts with a
K except craft cheese. Yeah,I can't think of anything naive kisses,
the candy type, you know,candy kids, the DAFTI paper, My
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goodness, a kitchen hillbilly doctor oldswhish I thought of giving her something starting
with K for Catherine. I couldgive her something starting with G for guilty
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sleeve. Nah, that's not thesame idea. Let's seek kay carrot.
He could be giving her a diamond. He wouldn't dare kettle drums, kilts.
He wouldn't give her those he lookedcute and kilts though. Well,
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Good morning, Gilly, well thehonorable Judge Hooker, Good morning Horace.
You were walking along with a faraway look in your eye. Were you
dreaming of a white Christmas? Oh? Goat I'm trying to get an idea
about a Christmas present from Miss Milford. Horse. Oh, have you tried
looking in the store? No,thanks for the idea, not at all.
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But if you're going to do anyshopping, Yelly, you better get
busy or there won't be anything left. Don't you worry, Judge, you'll
get your necktie. Yeah, I'mafraid zone, But I didn't mean that,
Yilly. It just seems that everybodyI know has been Christmas shopping.
I bumped into Floyd Chief Gates,your current amor Miss Milford. Oh,
and yesterday I even ran into yourarch rival, Dr Olson Wilson. Where
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did you run into? A Horseand Hogan Brothers? But why are you
so excited? Yell? And nowwe're getting someplace? What department was he
in? Well, as I recall, he was in the gift shopping Oh
you remember who waited on Wilson.What did the sales girl look like,
yell, girl? Well, darkwavy hair, parted in the middle,
black mustache, black the black mustache? Oh no, no, no,
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I'm thinking of the four walker.Well think a little harder, Judge.
What did the sales girl look like? I've got to talk to her well,
as I recall, she was rathertall? Or was she short?
That's it? A sharp brumette?Good? Or was she a blind?
Judge? Come along with me andpoint her out gladly? Yielde. She
was pretty as I recall? Orwas she y? Look at all those
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shoppers. Stay right behind me,judge. Don't you worry about me,
Gildy. If I started losing ground, I'll grab you by the tails.
Oh, pardon me, miss madam? Are you excuse me? Coming through?
Here's the gift shop? Where's thesales girl? Horace? There she
is at the end of the counter. Are you being held and not yet?
Miss? I'd like a little information. Yes, sir, Doctor Clarence
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Olson, a friend of mine wasin your department yesterday and bought something.
As I recall, he was carryinga little black bag and he placed it
on your turler here. I seemto remember that. Yes, he's a
tall young man with blonde wavy hair. Oh you mean the tall, handsome,
blonde man. I wouldn't go sofar as to say he's handsome.
That sounds like doctor Olson to me. Please, Horace, Miss, do
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you remember what he bought? Well? He looked at several things. He
did run the right track, judge, and I'll find out what he got
for Katherine. I showed him adiamond necklace like this, the Hymond necklace,
but he didn't buy it. Good. Then he looked at these watches,
who flapping them? But he didn'tbuy one, Young lady, what
did he buy? Well, hejust bought something for five dollars. Five
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dollars cheap, skate. I'll buyCaptain something more expensive than that man,
nothing like the true Christmas spirit,all right, judge, young lady,
what did doctor Olson buy? Hewent down to the next counter and bought
a pair of suspenders. Suspenders.That's easy, Guilded. Now you can
buy cap Thro a nice pie.Is there something I can show you?
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You can show me the way outthe great Gillness. Leave will be right
back. Well, there's a fancyChristmas package under the tree at Katarin Milford's
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house from Guildersleeves rival, doctor Olson. What's in it? That's what the
water commissioner would like to know.Well, whatever it is, I'll get
her something better. You may havethe edge on me at the hospital.
Goodbye, George. I'll beat himunder the Christmas tree. I'll go all
out. Hello, Peevy, whatcan I do for you this anternoon?
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Well, I'm looking for a Christmaspresent, Peeve, for a lady,
something extra special gift for miss Milford. You bet that sneaky doctor Olson's bat
or something that looks pretty nice.I'm gonna go him one better. I'm
gonna get her something so beautiful andso clever it'll make him look silly.
I'm an, he suggestions peev Well, does she like has she dropped any
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hens? No? Lately, allshe talks about is those little kids she
takes care of a the hospital.Must be something clever and original like get
for her, Peebe? Well,how about a year's subscription to your reader's
died Dead a year's subscription? Orhow about a nice set of scales?
Women like to weigh themselves, youknow, peev she can weigh herself at
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the hospital. Does she like sweetmeat? Sweetmeats? We have some very
attractive boxes of candied prune quite helpfultoo, No, Phoebe, how about
your musical bad sauce? No?About nine ten? No? Something out
of favor is rather hard to please. Oh Pee, I've got to get
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something different, something original. Nowyou've had plenty of experience at this Christmas
thing. That's true. You've beenbuying Christmas presents for missus Peebe for twenty
years. Yea. Certainly after allthat time, a man should know what
it takes to please a woman.Oh my goodness, I can see you're
going to be of no help atall, Peepe. I'm going back down
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town at Yeah, happy shopping,mister Gell's face, happy shopping near Wow?
Oh brother, what a mob inthis store? Why does everybody wait
for the last minute to buy theirChristmas presents? Watch it, madam?
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I wonder if Catherine had like analligator bag. I don't think she likes
alligators. I don't either. Ihave to look around some more. Excuse
me, pardon me? Oh that'smy foot, lady going up, going
up to me. Where's everybody rushingtoo? The elevator. Hey, I
don't want to get on this elevator. Watch it. Well, I'm in,
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whether I want to be or not. Second floor phonographs, radio toy
on to please thank you? Iget a radio. No, everybody has
a radio. Have to be moreoriginal than that. I'm gonna beat that
slicking turn we said chairs around here, my feet hurt just as well sit
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on this little red wagon a minute. Well, cute toys up here?
Is that you? Miss guilty?Well, hello, Bertie, what are
you doing up here? And toys? Oh? I got a lot of
little nieces and nephews I have tobuy for. Uh. Yeah, they
don't have much. And when Ishow up on Christmas with my arms full
of toys, they think I'm somepunkin Yeah, I bet they do,
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Bertie. See what if I showedup with an armful of toys for those
kiddies at the hospital, the onesmissus Milford is. Miss Milford is so
fond of damn children would think youwere some punkin tune. That's guilty,
I guess they would. What's more, I'd be some punkins with Miss Milford
too. Yep, you bet.There's nothing I could do but a pressure
more by George. This is agreat idea we had, Bertie. Clerk,
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Clerk, I want to buy sometoys. What was that? That's
the wagon you just bowed? Okay, I'll buy it and half the toy
department too, Clerk, What anidea? Doctor Olson, never top of
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this. I'll walk in on Catherinepass out these toys to her. Little
kiddies and tell her this is myChristmas present to her. What can she
say except that I'm the greatest guyin the world. The kids will get
a kick out of it too.In turn, turn in your suit.
Hey, this must be the ward. I see some children there. Well,
hello, little children? Huh hello, where's miss Milfridge said me that
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she want to get an iron stute. Oh well, I'll just put these
packages down here and wait. WereSanta Claus? Me? Nah, he's
not Santa Claus. Yeah he gota white beard, but he's nice and
fat. Yeah, but he's notSanta Claus. Santa Claus never comes around
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here. No, wait a minute, young Fellaw, I'm a sort of
Santa Claus. I brought all thesepresents to you children, bus honest and
truly. Oh boy, you seeStuffie, he is Santa Claus. Oh
boy, I gotta good one.See Stuffi's zucky. He's in a wheelchair.
Oh well, I'll bring the presencearound your little beds when Miss Milford
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comes. I want to open mine, and I'll wait a minute, Stuffy,
you shouldn't open presents until Christmas.I don't want to open mine until
Christmas. I just want to dreamabout what send them. That's the idea
a little girl. While we're waitingfor Miss Milford. Will you read it?
The Christmas Story? Christmas Story,that's what she was doing. Yeah,
in that book. Oh well,I like stories. I used to
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read him to my niece and nephew. Let's see what we've got here.
Why the chimes rang? By RaymondMcDonald All it? Oh, write that
one. I don't know it.Oh, I've been in the hospital longer
than you have. Yees. Now, let's read it. Huh, we
don't have much time. Once upona time, in a far away country,
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there was a wonderful church. Itstood on a high hill in the
midst of a great city, andevery Sunday, as well as on sacred
days like Christmas, thousands of peopleclimbed the hill through its great archways,
looking like lines of ants, allmoving in the same direction. I don't
know, I'll answer in a hospital, stop and routing, stuffy, Yeah,
must listen, stuffy. Now,all the people knew that at the
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top of the tower was a chimeof Christmas bells. They had hung there
ever since the church had been built, and they were the most beautiful bells
in the world. Some described themas sounding like angels far up in the
sky. Others is sounding like strangewinds singing through the trees. But for
many years they had never been heard. Why didn't those ring? Well,
we're coming to that, I guess. It was said that people had been
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growing less careful of their gifts forthe Christ Child, that no offering was
brought, which was fine enough todeserve the music of the chimes. Every
Christmas Eve people still crowded to theorder, each one trying to bring some
gift better than any other. Wellfor personal reasons, I guess they were
trying to make a big impression.Oh h now where were we? Oh?
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Yes, now, a number ofmiles from the city, in a
little country village, said the boynamed Pedro and his little brother. They
had heard of the service in thechurch on Christmas Eve and planned to go
see the beautiful celebration. Nobody canguess that little brother Petro would say,
all the fine things there are tosee and deer, and I've even heard
it said that the christ Child sometimescomes down to bless the service. What
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if we should see him the daybefore we Christmas? Pedro and little brother
were able to slip away quietly,and although the walking was hard in the
frosty air. Before nightfall, theyhad tread so far hand in hand that
they saw the lights of the bigcity just ahead of them. They were
about to enter one of the greatgates in the wall that surrounded it,
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and they saw something dark on thesnow near their path, and they stepped
aside to look at her. Well, let's see. There by the path
was a poor woman who had fallenin the snow, too sick and tired
to get in where she might havefound shelter. Oh, Pedro knelt down
beside her. You will have togo on alone, little brother, he
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said, Alone, cried little brother. But you will not see the Christmas
festival. No, said Petro,and you could not keeep back a bit
of a choking sound in his throat. See this poor woman, her face
looks like the madonna in the chapelwindow, and she freeze to death if
nobody cares for her. I can'tbear to leave you and go on alone,
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said little brother. Both of usneed not miss the service, said
Pedro, And it had better beI than you. You can easily find
your way to the church, andyou must see and hear everything twice,
little brother, once for you andonce for me. And though, if
you get a chance, little brother, and slip up to the order without
getting in anybody's way, take thislittle silver piece of mind and lay it
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down for my offering when no oneis looking in this way. He hurried
little brother off to the city andwinked hard to keep back the tears as
he heard the crunching footsteps sounding fartherand farther away in the twilight. The
great church was wonderful that night,when the organ played and the thousands of
people sang, the walls shook witha sound, and little Pedro, away
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outside the city wall, felt theearth tremble around him. At the close
of the servant came the procession forthe offerings to be laid on the altar.
Rich men and great men marched proudlyup and lay down their gifts to
the Christ Child. Some brought wonderfuljewels, some brought baskets of gold that
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the chimes did not ring. Andlast of all came the king of the
country, hoping with all the restto win for himself the chime of the
Christmas battles. There went a greatmurmur to the church. As the people
saw the King take from his headthe royal crown, all set with precious
stones, and lay it gleaming onthe altar as his offering to the Holy
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Child. Surely everyone said, weshall hear the bells now, for nothing
like this has ever happened before.But still, only the cold old wind
was heard in the tower, andthe people shook their heads, and some
of them said, as they hadsaid before, that they never really believed
the story of the chimes, anddoubted if they ever rang at all.
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Suddenly everyone looked at the old minister, who was standing by the order,
holding up his hand for silence.Not a sound could be heard from anyone
in the church, But as allthe people strained their ears to listen,
that came softly but distinctly, swingingthrough the air, the sound of the
chimes in the tower, so faraway and yet so clear. The music
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seemed so much sweeter with the notesthan anything that had been heard before,
rising and falling away up there inthe sky, that the people in the
church sat for a moment as still, as though something held each of them
by the shoulders, And they allstood up together and stared straight at the
order to see what great gift hadawakened the long, silent bats. But
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all that the nearest of them sawwas the childish figure of little brother,
who had crept softly down the aislewhen no one was looking, and had
laid Pedro's little piece of silver onthe other That so wonderful, Stu,
all right, why did the bellsring when the little brother wade the piece
is so fond the altar? Well, then why didn't they ring when the
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great men brought jewels and things?Well, like the book said, each
one was trying to bring some giftbetter than any other. Those men were
trying to outdo each other. Whilelittle Pedro gave out of the goodness of
his heart. He didn't have anulterior motive. What's an ulterior motive?
Well, I guess that's what Ihad when I came here. That was
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no thing coming is Well, Iguess I'll be going. Aren't you going
to wait? Untie? I knowwhere are you going? Mister w I'll
sneak off the side door. Thepresents. Well, that's not important anymore.
Merry Christmas, Thanks Mary, Christmas. Merry Christmas. Tiptoed down the
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Baxter five o'clock. I didn't knowthe hospital had charmed. The Great guild
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of Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. The show was written by Paul West,
John Elliott, and Andy White,with music by Jack Meacon. In
addition to our regular cast, youheard Anne Whitfield and Stuffy Singer as the
children in the Hut Hospital. TheGreat guilder Sleeve is brought to you each
week by the Foods Company, makersof the famous cheese food Velveta and the
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complete line of craft quality food products. Here's the suggestion for Christmas time,
or any time. Begin now thesave for a happier future with the regular
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purchase of United States Savings Bonds.Automatic purchase plans that make saving painless are
available to you either where you workor where you bank. Ask about them.
Three dollars invested now will get youfour when the bonds mature, or
you can cast your bonds anytime aftersixty days and get back every cent you
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put in plus a crude interest.Be happy tomorrow because you were wise today
by United States Savings Bonds regular.Good night, folks, see you next week.