Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:55):
A Man performance us A the greatestentertainers in America, is requested by you
the man and in the United StatesArmed Forces throughout the world. Command Performance
presented this week and every week.So you're home from the hospitals and back
from over there. Ah Season GreetingsGangs is Ken Carpenter's sending Command performances annual
(01:22):
Christmas gift You're way a big,beautiful sixty minute bundle chuck full of the
country's top telling Or It's Christmas onceMore. Christmas the day we forget our
petty troubles and sorrows. Christmas theday we try to act like charitable human
beings. The act the way weshould act. Three hundred and sixty five
days a year. Time for friendliness, a time for laughter or for tears,
(01:44):
tears of happiness and seated before acheerful fire and a small cottage in
North Hollywood. The Little Girls,it's listening to a wise old man,
a little girl, Norman Jean Milstonman our beloved Lionel Barrymore. Lionel is
greeting to her that kim roll hesprang to his slave, to his team,
(02:07):
gave a whistle and away they allflew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, Harryprove out of sight, Happy Christmas
to all and to all our goodnight. Well, golly, that was
nice to bear anymore. Yeah,you like Christmas forms? Normal? D
(02:30):
Oh? I like everything about Christmas, the tree, the present, Santa
Claus coming to visit, and ohgee, just everything. Well, it's
my favorite season, too, normalJean. It always has been ever since
I was a little born. Gee, it's Christmas that old. Well,
(02:52):
I mean, believe it or not, Christmas has been in existence even longer
than I been. Gosh, thatmust be over twenty years. Thank you,
my dear, thank you, misterBarrymore. I get most of my
Christmas finant of opening my presents.What do you like there? Well,
normal, Jine, that's hard tosay. You see, different people enjoy
(03:15):
different things about Christmas. Some peoplelike to get presents, and some of
us get more of a kick outof giving. One fellow, I know
Li likes to spend this Christmas makingthe rounds of the hospital giving impromptu sho
This is Bob Christmas command performance,Hope, telling all you American servicemen from
Alaska to the Isthmus to use acertain toothpaste on your teeth, and your
(03:38):
mouth will always have a white ChristmasWow, Christmas is here, and Christmas
always seems to bring a wonderful spiritof fellowship and friendship among the men.
While the fellas are so friendly.Now, if you're roller seven, you
win to no matter how small yardtrue, it's true. But you know
(03:58):
this year at Christmas is being celebratedby young Americans and freezing weather and hot
weather, damp weather, foggy weather. And some of our servicemen are outside
of California too, thank you younative swimmers. And you know it's a
funny thing. But the man overseasdon't like to receive Christmas cards, no
(04:20):
sir. They get suspicious now wheneverthey see anything that starts with greetings.
I've been mailing some cards. Sinatramail some Christmas cards, but he forgot
to let go of them, andI had to spend twenty minutes fishing him
out of the slot with a coathanger. And you should have seen the
mobs at the post office this year, and border they shove you around.
(04:43):
I stuck out my tongue to licka stamp, and a guy from Glendale
thank me for washing his face.Well, Miss Purvang, Yes, yes,
(05:10):
this is me in the flesh.Well, it's patriotic to wear all
things. You know, I'm goingto be awfully disappointed this Christmas. I'm
afraid Santa Claus is gonna let medie. Well, what makes you think
Santa Claus is gonna let you know? I guess nobody ever asked you for
a husband before. Are you stilllooking for a husband as me? Well,
yes, I am just up tillthe end of this week. Well
(05:32):
then, what are you going tododging us? Well, I want to
treasure that was always asking Santa Clausfor a husband. He can't bring you
a husband in his bag. Youknow you can't bring me a husband in
his bag? Of course, notsad sack, isn't it that your urb
(06:00):
Thank you, darling, Get onyour broom and go home. And now
I'd like you to meet a manwho is the greatest authority in the world.
I'm wrapping and mailing packages for Christmas, Professor Colonna Christmas Seal. Different
(06:54):
people have different ways of enjoying Christmas, and one of the nicest things about
the holidays is that it draws allfriends together. People sort of get it
in him to go visiting. Yeah, Alan, that might be some business,
right, now, come in,come in. Well it's the Andrews
(07:24):
very Christmas line. I know,mister Darrymore, which one is rich gene.
I'm patty and I'm vaccine. I'mall right, kids, all right?
How about presenting us with a sawon the bus the highway and be
(07:45):
on the way highley treasure. Ican't great pleasure and are a plain wame
a line along the pleasant lays beinga friendly guy. No corn housecapers.
We don't serve papers to grandmas.Mother ragt are troubles and excuse me,
(08:13):
never steak we again over que putthat amen of ding people some time to
get to be exciting people. She'sgone by. Then every neighbors down by
the Greek will be my mo ofneighbors and sweet grandma or of grandma?
(08:41):
Why the happy for Grandma? She'sover a corner Bendana speaking of daisy.
You must banana pie piece, shesaid, Ronny, the right piece she
let do serve a do we canstart in al No, the neighbors look
(09:11):
his daughter, I have not actuallylike you can run like it against the
shouble you by n people know youdo now that you bore end of you
Anafi you nanify some you like youNeifi. Well, how'd you like that?
(10:05):
Honey? Oh? It was Marbry'sgood exciting I everything about. In
fact, some people get too excitedthey practically go out of their minds.
For instance, you take my friendsBert and Girt BT and Girt Yeah,
known to some people as Linda DundellGrouch o Ma. A story opens.
(10:39):
We're in the living room up theHoop and Dykester Hole Gert that's Linda.
Darnell seems preoccupied as she sits theirnetting. Bert that's Bert. Since they're
reading the evening paper, moment istense. Suddenly Gert speaks, Oh,
Bert, Bert, Bert, what'dyou say? I said, bird Bird?
(11:03):
Who are you? I'm your wifeBerth oh in relation to my wife
Grede. I wonder if you knowWhite Hoopendykester, I'm his wife. Well,
leave your name and address and we'lllet you know if anything turns out.
(11:24):
I know your husband a great manVide. You're Bert Hoop and d
and I'm Gertrue your wife. MerryChristmas? May I call you Gruh is
something I must talk to you aboutChristmas is almost here, and well you
haven't bought a present for our daughterdaughter? Whose daughter? Our daughter?
(11:50):
Your daughter, my daughter, ourdaughter. Things are tight. I can't
buy presents for all of them.No, no, there's only one daughter,
our daughter, yours and mine,birt and skirt and let them get
her a present. What's the guys? What's the guy's name? Almen?
(12:13):
Olive? Who's alive? Our daughter? Bert? Thought you said her name
was alive? Old Bert. You'regoing to drive me to distraction, okay,
but you'd love to put some gasin the car. You've completely forgotten
Christmas and Olive. First, youdon't go out and get her a Christmas
(12:37):
present? Alive is pre go towork in the coal mines? What our
olive in the pits? Have youbeen eating her heart out? Olive?
Dime? He stuff? Bert?Why don't you get her? I like
(13:01):
shoes, nothing doing. Why shouldI buy shoes by her past? Oh?
Oh, Berts, I just ranup their pretting to do something chrastic.
That was Johnny stepping out of starwindows all over the country. Merry
(13:22):
Christmas, Linda, Merry Christmas,Merry Christmas. Everybody who don't know wooh,
(13:50):
why that boy, Christmas, itmakes you so wonderful. Well,
now there's uh do you think that, Santa cla All, I just dropped
(14:16):
in to say Merry Christmas. I'mon my way over to the big Christmas
Command performance as MS Potter, Whatare you going to do on Command Performance?
Well, it's larger that Joseph Ameswrote this better I can try,
but I'd most like to hear isa poem my mother used to read to
(14:37):
me every Christmas Eve, and I'dlike to have you do it, especially
for my own two kids who areover here with me. Now I've forgotten
what it's called, but I thinkit starts out when the night grows gray
and the stars are gold when bellsfor Christmas rings. Hearing that, oh
(15:01):
well, we did a little huntingpassageant Joe, and I hope this is
a poemy why it's called on ChristmasEve? You know, Fellas, I
(15:31):
was looking through the things piled underthe Command Performance Christmas tree, and I
came upon a darling little package ontop of it looked like a military hair
brush. But when I looked alittle further, I thought it was Gary
Moore. I no, thank youvery much. My friends and greetings armed
(15:54):
forces all over the world. Seehow about me, Gary, don't I
get agreeing to? Uh? HelloDinah, Hello Garrison, Dina, Dina,
Why don't you fly away with me? Come out into the moonlight where
we can be romantic to the beautifulstrains of Schubert serenades or the moonlight sonata.
Well the beer barrel polka, llhold the phone just a minute,
(16:17):
Jerry. The sardarl poker doesn't exactlymake you feel romantic. It does if
you think of there first. ButI guess, I guess you're right at
back Guna. The Christmas season istoo hectic a time for love me.
Oh, been keeping you busy?Huh you're in a un give presents to
all the stars every year, ohin dude, idea, And this year
(16:37):
indeed, I know, and thisyear, this year Donna for Bob Hope,
I really got a billy of afriend, Oprahama, what is it?
A grew a love of that again? Grew over what purp No,
it's their rocking chair and it's curvedeven more. Just see him from the
(17:00):
front. You can't see him fromthe back of the way, but you
take you take a few years backnow down a few years back. I
gave no old coward to foss andpan, and he's been refilling it ever
since. I gave bassil rats fullof pipe, and he's been refilling it
ever since. I'm come to thinkof it, I should never have given
cross see that baby kren I lastlast for not Lee signer, last for
not Lisa sticked out jes the thingfor frank Sinata, A lovely corsage and
(17:23):
vitamin pills. That's Frankie. Boy'snot as frail as you look. Besides,
I've never thought too much of vitaminpills anyway you have, nor why
bless your little liver extract? Iam thinking of vitamins. I hear someone
approaching who's loaded with him the oneand only Stuggle himself. Jimmy Rabbit,
(17:52):
you got off the cap for asong. Are out. Even when things
go wrong, you even look better. Woo wo Hello Lo. I guess
(18:15):
the wouldn't let her in without aticket. Don't just stand there combing your
hair. Ver't much there. Everyfriend has a muskle. Merry Christmas.
(18:38):
Yeah, Merry Christmas. Juni's notBefore I go any further, I want
to give you your Christmas pread here. It's a little try model of a
sunset fox lot show you how rockgo ahead? Yeah? Now, isn't
that swell? Give me one hair? What happened? I thought I saw
(19:07):
a sheet russure stand direct that alittle bit class fager. Well, Jimmy,
as much as this is an armedforce this event tonight, let's do
(19:30):
something military fan fair for present thistime, ladies and gentlemen, we are
pround to present a stirring lecture onthe United States Navy by that eminent naval
authority, Rear Admiral Dick Garant.That is better now, gun Quinn.
(19:52):
And for his naval lecture, AdmiralGranty has chosen the exciting titles anchors away
or I can row? Can you? That's fine? Boy? Wait a
minute, baby, batten down yourfire three vats you're around down here for
(20:18):
Castler, put a clip on yourzipper. I don't know the fust thing
about the navy. Dog. Well, you you know about bronze, don't
you? Okay, so I don'tknow the second thing about the Navy.
Besides, Junior, if you knowso much about the Navy, why don't
you give the lecture? Well?I love, but I have to leave.
Now you see I've I've taken anew job. Man, You've taken
on a new job, Junior,Yes, I've taken a new job.
Je Man, We'll tell me where'syour new job located? Junie. Why
(20:41):
a new jobs located in a peacefulplasical pleasant place called popular Poperas, Pennsylvania.
Jimmy, You new job's located inthe peaceful, classic and pleasant place
called popular Post, Pennsylvania. Junior, there's a new jobs located in peaceful,
passical pleasant pace called Poplar Poperas,Pensylvania. Jimmy, head for the
open seamen. There's a big floorgirl that can go along with a egg.
Tell me who is your new jobwith in a peaceful pleasson a pleasant
(21:03):
place called pop La Poland, Pennsylvania. Junior. Why my new jobs with
brother Blake Street Idiot acad pancake.Take me in a feast of passion pleasant
place called picklapart with Pensylvania. Jimmy, you new jobs with brother Blake's great
eighty eight ache a pancake. Takeme in a piece of blessing pleasant place
called pap La polt f the PandamJulia, there's a new jobs with for
the Blake scree dc a pancake bakerin the factual Passon Pleson place Go Packing
of bottles, Pennsylvania. Jimmy,what you do I need for this?
(21:26):
Judge? Tell me who do youwife? For your new jubmant Brother Blake's
great eighty eight ache pant cake.Make me in the peaceful plassic pleasant place
called popular Polar Patrol Junior. WhyI worked the plat tax backer and cracker
packery, Brother Blake Greaneadia Kaker pancakebaking a peaceul passon lesson place Go pipla
ponts Fromania. Jimmy, you whitefor the plat tax Stacker and cracker packerd,
Brother Plake Straight eighty eight pan cake. Take me in the feast late
(21:48):
Lae Baker place called pop La Polish, Pennsylvania Junior. He's I worked with
plastax stackrid cracker pickery, Brother BlakeStraight Dada pancake taking the petal passon President
Bace Wae packing bottles and Jimmy wayfew shall not nat, but tell me
what he is doing? You knowjob at the flat jack a stacklan crack
a prackman, Brother Blake Straight eightyeight acre bankcake take me the people.
(22:12):
I guess that's asking him what doI do? Why? I'm a rookie
sugar cookie cooker for the flattack StackeringTacker packer pay taking a pep of passing,
Pleasant Place Boke picking Upotas Pensylvania.You mean you're a rookie sugar cookie
cook for the paper bron of Blakestraight eighty eight pip take taking the people,
plats Placebook Prancklvania Junior. There's nota look at sugar cookie Papaxtackman tack
(22:37):
a Packla Brothers, Blake Bake,Tannas Baking the people backrom Pleasant Place Baking,
Pennsylvania. Jimmy, Now I seehow he does. It leaves out
the semi colonna fine cooking, GaryMoore and Jimmy Raddy. Now we need
(23:06):
more decorations around here. So let'sbring on on a girl who really has
the driven about out Boria to Haydn, the more smile fun he would my
(23:38):
side. You never know what youdon't know, laugh have it, So
(24:04):
it's see for me. So I'msixty one thirty five and he gives anue
and he left at simty one thirtythree? Can I go next door him?
(24:32):
Why to please me? Even seesme and he never sees me his
and go on next door action forhe want a joy to join. So
(25:07):
I did not do jojoor go.I can't digno do that's in case you
(26:14):
can't read. Oh that was wonderful, Lauria. You know I saw you
in your last picture. You hada big pet in us. Oh,
Bob, don't you mean part partpart? Pick around after the program,
I'll show you what I mean.Lauria, did you get the present ie
at the sweater? Was that littlering of sweater? Did you think it
(26:37):
was a potholders all in your mind? Why? Yes? And I thought
how nice it was for you togive up one of your girts. It
(27:07):
was just a thought, you know. Now listen, Gloria, it wasn't
that small. Oh no, Iput it on my poor little water Saniel.
What happened? It took me ahalf an hour to sund him out.
We don't let that go, Gloria. You're gonna have a party this
year. Your shouldn't big Last yearwas great? Remember you have dancing upstairs
in that ballroom with a big daywindow. Oh yeah, of course,
(27:27):
I was just sort of an onlooker. Bob. Did you enjoy the party?
I did till I follow the treethat's all behind me. Hey,
am, I, that's not thatother routine again. Huh am, I
invited to your party tonight. Thinkyou are, Bob my social secretary.
(27:49):
Better look for a new job,Gloria girl, you should invite me out
of sheer gratitude. I sent youa gift where I sent you a gift,
A fine gift, paper towels.Do you think I was too stingy
to buy towels? I wouldn't saythat. If you are the only socks
I've ever seen, Mark Block,don't rub Come to think of it,
(28:10):
Bob, you might as well comeover. You have charm and you can
mingle with the people. And let'ssee the guest too, true, let's
see the guests arrive around eight.You better be there stepping to meet everybody
at the door. Oh am,I the guest of honor. Guest of
honor, No, you're gonna bethe butler fellow. Here's the guy who's
(28:37):
responsible for all these swell radio shows, the Commandant of Armed Forces Radio Service.
Thank you, Bob. This ismy first opportunity to appear on an
Armed Forces Radio Service program and thepublicly thank you and our Command Performance cast
(29:00):
for the magnificent health you have givenus. I would be direlict in my
duty if I did not take thisopportunity to also extend that thanks to all
people in the entertainment world who,through the Hollywood Coordinating Committee, have made
possible this great Christmas Day program.We of the Armed Forces Radio Service are
merely the means by which these programsare collected and distributed. It is the
(29:23):
unselfish spirit of co operation of allpeople of the entertainment world who make possible
the successful accomplishment of our mission.This Command Performance is but one of the
many radio programs heard this Christmas Day. I am certain that I speak for
all the men and women who arenow in service overseas and our lesteners in
(29:45):
the hospitals constituting our bedside network asI extend this expression of their appreciation for
these magnificent shows. Hmm. Iwill now sing a note from Mikela's famous
(30:17):
opera ion Jin Why not Jimmy findme hi on jim Uh. The name
of that opera is mourn Zin Whenwide the Hood, When keel hood means
sing that note you were not gothigh on jin. I got a millions
them, a million of them andall protected by G G G. Wellni,
(30:45):
how are you wonderful? Dinah?Come here? Mm it was a
long time with that. Give meyou that's your own poet. You were
standing under the missiletoe. How couldI help it? You got it tied
(31:07):
to the end of your nose.Adam is such a statement and flies not
witting melissance of innry catapult trust inmy structural integrity and rectitude. Jimmy,
what was that? I don't know. I only hope it's clean. You
(31:34):
know, as long as you're here, I might as gonna give you a
Christmas present? Okay? What isit? A wonderful pair of book?
In? Can you use a pairof book? Indubably? That's the part
I always read first, that theready you mad Scully? You I got
(31:56):
a gift here for your husband,Oh wonderful George. What is it is?
No, it's a rocking chair andit's curved. Even more. If
he wants a custom tailor, Ican get him a private sitting, are
you yes, yes, James,I offer myself. I hear you need
(32:20):
a swarve, sophisticated English drawing roomtype. Oh but that too, Jimmy,
You're not the tower type. Ipicked to differ. Not only am
I related to the great English authorNoble Coward, My musicians are uneducated.
(32:45):
My uncle is a second cousin frightenedstiff English. Your pain? Why my
great grandfather's son, Sir Rumcle BottomDuranty was an important man in the English
town of Ketchup Squire. Wait aminute, you mean Worcestershire. I would
if he spell it out in youknow when the rain of Henry to Fort
(33:13):
Dinah, so ruffle Bottom presided overa big country seat. Where am I
here over a big country seat?But with the event of Henry to fifty
telling the political distaper, he wasordered to move the country seat from Ketchup
(33:36):
Squire to to no place to go? Right, what a dilemmia there he
was, with a big seat noplace to put it. I don't know's
I did not take a chance topresent you as a leading man, Howard?
Were you just see Wait a minute, wait a minut, who's going
to be my leading lady? Igot a passing or talent? Oh,
(33:59):
I think it's a lovely girl namedEsther William, a sprightly chick. Let
me tell me do you approve ofher talent? I can't. I can't
(34:20):
read the ends. My glasses keepsteaming up. Mister daddy, Will I
do? Watch that? Will Ido? That's the paint? Will you
do? Go ahead? Drama?How will you please? Let me?
Play? Takes place on the terraceof one of London London Swag Your Our
(34:46):
play takes place with the terrace ofone of London Swag Your hotels. A
man tastes back and forth and patiently. Suddenly a woman steps out on the
terrace the start. A man recognizesher his formal wife and Julie, how
are you? And jul oh fine? Where have you been? I've been
(35:08):
down at my coffee plantation? Well, how have you been? Been?
Fine? Old girl being? Andhow's the coffee? Fine? Feel?
Old? You know? It's funnyI've traveled. I have been the most
parts of the world, yet Icouldn't bring myself to buy a ticket to
(35:30):
in Just you didn't buy a ticketto in No, why didn't? I
don't know. I guess I'm toostee. I love that kind of carriers
out and you well, I've I'vebeen abroad. Well I get your passed
(36:00):
by the bye, old girl?Have you have you been married? His
name is Victor Love quite terrible ral, So Victor, what does he do?
I can't imagine. I only seehim. That guy must come home
all it up? But what aboutyou, darling? Have you remarried?
(36:22):
Oh? Yes, a charming girlrather anyone I know, I doubt it.
Don't know of myself. Now comenow, of course you know,
no married her on an impulse,you see. Well, yes, Peter
got a sudden impulse and pulled agun on me. Show the old girl.
(36:45):
Are you completely happy? And indeedit's been quite gay? This is
nice looking now so is sipyl Well, Victor is blonde, Sipple is blind.
Victor has blue eyes. Sipple hasblue eyes. Victor has a close
cropped mustache. To shay, oldgirl to share, Sibils mustache is long
(37:10):
and flowing, four size, foursize. Remember how we met. It
was a lady sprogels means lawn lawnparty. Oh yes, she had just
been evicted. Oh don't you sometimeswish that, how that we could recapture
(37:31):
the beauty of the moment? Yes, indeed, But she's downtown looking at
the Polly's bullecue purse. Our partywas a mistake. I can't live without
you. And don't you want meon? Just a cat? Oh,
darling, you are no cat.Yes I am. Once I gave her
(37:52):
backless evening gown to a girl withno sense of direction. Thanks comnon Aswer
and Jimmy for dropping by. Thatwas fun. Lots of luck, Gang
and Marry Mary, Yeah, MerryChristmas. Kidd Hey, Hey, wait
(38:13):
a minute, you gotta go.I mean you can't go, You gotta
I try to get me out ofhere. You gotta sing thank you girls
from the front of my house.And if you hadn't said those words,
three hours of rehearsal would have beena total loss. I never in my
(38:37):
lifetime was so delighted, honestemus,happy as a clown. It happened at
a musical where I was inviired tothe wealthiest home in this town. Knew
the people were wealthy. When Isat down at dinner, they shaved nothing
but money. What a party.I rubbed elbows when I told you I
(38:59):
rubbed elbows, which has I rubbedelbows with rubenstein? I had to rub
bulbos with them, they wouldn't shakehands with me anyway. After we dined
and had dinner too, we allsash shaved into the music room. Immediately,
I tay Be sat down and playedhis latest mature. Then Shasta coma
show blind with his Ladis Tat,and then Rubenstein throlled the crowd with a
(39:20):
snatra he composed. After the applauseof silent all eyes turned upon me.
Why not I was sleeping or ahostile stairs of the white balloon. I
walked to the piano, loud tothe right, loud to the left.
From the back pocket, I tookout my music, which was wrapped around
the salami sandwich. Then I satdown at the stein with for the waste
(39:46):
time two presents my symphony I melodyand this is how it winds c be
Chi chimmy chim Yeah yeah yeah,chitty chip yeah yeah yeah. Some day
(40:09):
the world will recognize this lovely thing. I know to day it will come
when Frank and Bing will sing yeahyeah yeah. Why When I first sat
down at the piano, the peoplecheering. In the middle of my concert,
the people howled, And when Ifinished playing, the little lady jumped
(40:32):
up on the piano and fit meto wed to my humiliation. Somebody stole
my salami sandwich, but my scritwas only temporary because history will be made.
When I introduced my simpany at theHollywood Boat, I can just hear
(40:52):
that spring section, the pass section, e bows. Wait a minute,
wait a minute, an they're undpushed like that. Your drums go back
to sears and rubber hoops, visualizersymphony orchestra behind me, an audience of
(41:13):
ninety thousands in front of me,A spotlight hit me and Randy singing y
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. We will sell a
million copies. Baby to This songis gonna be another rinding Jim Yeah yeah,
(41:45):
yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Faynice, Sure wasn't they sounds like
(42:10):
they're more coming in. Hey Christmas, everybody. I'm kind of lady gause
of a rehearsal, but I justhad to come over here and and add
my seasons breathing to the rest ofthe game. What did you hear in
town? Just a little song calledThat's My Desire? Stand one you,
(42:54):
that's my where gee she come?And to day of day? That's my
(43:15):
desire? We see my little glassof wire. Akay, do you all
diviar. I feel come over justto Shelly. So that's my weird just
(44:31):
when Shelly I, that's my designus. That's why he's are Oh joy,
(45:30):
Kenny and all. There are justlots of nice things strung on the
command Christmas tree, but there's onething missing. I like to hear a
good old fashioned Christmas story. Seethat. I don't know one, but
here a couple of boys who do. It's those all time favorites, Edgar
Bergen and Ty the Coast. Wellhere we are again, Charlie. Yeah,
(46:04):
so I must say that I'm alittle shocked that you attitude. Why
this season of the year, everybodyis happy, everybody's on the best behavior
because it's supposed to Christmas. Iwas on my best healer last year?
What did I get it? Iwas so good? I was, oh
(46:24):
you fire, buzzing you all right? Snapping those Well no, no,
you apologize back, man, I'mnot footballing them out yet. I'm very
sorry, sir. You know,take another one. Where you are?
(46:54):
Where was that you were laying anegg? Right? Well, if I
remember correctly, Charlie, Santa Clausput something in your stocking last year.
Well he didn't stretch him out ofshape off that you didn't need a rain
here to deliver him, but Igot he could have stepped under the door.
Oh, a swallow could have droppedit all upon the way to Capistrano.
(47:17):
Well for after expecting too much?Well, all I asked for was
a motorcycle as steep boating her rifeboat. What did I get? Stockings,
ruling underwear and a do bill forsome dental work? You know what
I think? Where it was youmailed my Christmas list? You didn't mail
that, you mailed the laundry list. Well, I investigated that, Charlie
(47:38):
and I found out yet Santa Clauswas afraid to come down our narrow chimney.
Yeah. Claustrophobia, Yes, you'veheard of Santa claustrophobia, haven't you?
What are you griving about? Igot to live with him, and
(47:59):
you related you lie in it all? Isn't it enough that I hate you?
So I have to be ashamed ofyour deside? All? Well,
I have a speaking suspicion that you'regoing to get some pretty nice presents this
year. That is providing I knewthere was a text providing you've memorized your
piece to night of course before Christmas, and of course I know you have,
and so I'm going to introduce youto have now, Ladies and gentlemen,
(48:22):
you went over there too, Ladiesand gentlemen. There you're about to
hear the famous classic The Night beforeChristmas by Clement park Moore. And many
wouldn't have written if you had amemorize it. I'll go ahead. I
could recite better for the memory ifI had a book. No, no,
(48:42):
ladies, no no, no,listen like children usual here than then
night ride of sand No no,the bad start here under the studying Christmas
really sand, you know. Yeah, that's why I better start to walk,
(49:04):
because the night before Christmas and allthrough the house you took the waves
out of the mouth. I'm gladyou're rid of them. Yeah, what's
the next line? Christians for theHouse christ the House? No no no,
The feature was scurry, not evenallows. No. The stockings were
(49:28):
hung where no no, no eitherchimney with care in hopes the laundry man
soon would be there. Except SaintSaint who No, no, no,
Minneapolis. No, I'm on herown track. Yeah, you don't know.
(49:52):
I hate myself and I hate myselfin hope the Saint Nicholas. Who
would be there, San Micholin.There's fine. The children were nestled all
snug in their bed. Shoot ifhe must his old gray head. No,
no, surely you know the partabout Santo pauses he rides through the
(50:13):
sky. Oh yeah, yeah,he flies through the air where the greatest
leaves, the jolly fat man inthe red. The next line is went
out on the lawn. There arow, such a clatter. You.
I sprang from my bed to seewhat was the matter. Oh yeah,
I tore open the shutters and threwup or threw up the sands. What
(50:42):
are the reindeer's names? Oh see, Oh the reindeers Dancer and Francer and
Dandruff and Blintzes. No, Donarand Lightning. No, no, no,
Donner, Oh yeah, Donner andno. I didn't know he made
now and then on Dancer, onPrancer, And what do you know?
(51:09):
Answer came in page twenty two tothe show. No, yeah, you
need a present. No, no, Dolly, I don't believe you know
the poem at all. I don'tbelieve you've studied to have you else,
sir, I haven't well what youwere honest about it? I'm going to
give you this lovely present anyway.Oh bless you well. It's a beautifully
(51:30):
illustrated copy of the famous poem TheNights Before Christmas? Yeah? Is that
a present? Is that? Iget that? What you get? This
is Christmas, not Eve? Forwho are at your Bergan command performance takes
(52:02):
you down to Washington, d C. For a Christmas message from the Commander
in Chief, Ladies and gentlemen,the President, to the men and women
of our armed porson. I amvery grateful for this opportunity to extend to
each one of you, wherever youmay be, my most sincere Christmas greeting.
(52:22):
We are now involved in a greatstruggle, a struggle to shape the
events of today and tomorrow forward thejust and enduring peace for all peoples in
all countries. There is still muchto be done. The accomplishment of our
task will require the same devotion andthe same high ideals which you, the
(52:43):
men and women of our armed forces, have always displayed. The liberty loving
people throughout the world, who indarker days prayed for our success in battle,
now offer their prayers that our strugglefor harmony and tranquility on earth shall
succeed. I wish to express tothe nation's deep appreciation of the part that
(53:04):
you are playing, and hope thatour gratitude will in some small way compensate
for your absence from home, friendsand deer one on this Christmas day again,
may I wish you a very merryChristmas. Thank you, mister President.
Well gang is time for a commandperformance tradition. You know, this
is our fifth round the world Christmasprogram, each one ended with our singing
(53:27):
the carols, the Christmas songs weall love now Dinah and Gloria and the
Homer Hall chorused link voices and joinhands with all of you in hospitals and
overseas to sing the great songs piecein this day, which is a symbol
of all of man aspires to joyfuland file l on the pcm F CONPOCON
(54:55):
level for folk overwell pass. Stillwe seen about Platyre. It's fine school,
(55:43):
yeah in my dark street shore everlaughing the whole not allow man name
(56:54):
here that the bells of Christmas nineteenforty six bring out clear and free around
(57:17):
the world to you who are guidingthe peace or daily one listens though their
message comes from the hearts of onehundred and forty million grateful Americans. Peace
Hunter, goodwill to men, MerryChristmas to all. Ship Rod Bram was
arranged with the aid of the HollywoodCoordinating Committee. This is the Armed Forces
(57:39):
Radio Service, the voice of informationand education.