8: China Salesman

Steven Seagal is one of the biggest action stars of the '90s, starring in some of the biggest action films of the decade. He ended up dropping off the radar completely in the early 2000s, being relegated to the Walmart bargain bins and truck stop DVD corners. Mainstream action fans all but forget his talents, but no longer.

Join the Kulturecast's Chris Stachiw and film critic Trevor Gumbel as they continue their journey into the filmography of Seagal with a true classic entry: Out for Justice. Starring Seagal as an NYC cop, he must take down a local tough who has gone off on a drug-fueled killing spree. It takes him from the bars to the streets of '90s NYC as he attempts to thwart his murderous plans.

On Seagal is on iTunes, Google Play, and all podcatcher apps; leave a review! If you want to find more episodes, head on over to onseagal dot com. Follow Chris on Twitter @casualty_chris, Trevor @caseneuromancer, and the podcast @onseagal.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Mmm, hello and welcome to theOnsgal Podcast. I am your host,

(00:32):
Trevor Gumbole. I am joined asalways by my co host, as one
might say, the China salesman.You are joined by the China salesman.
Oh oh, dear god, Trevor, I want to have yourself for a
quick to Ye. Yeah, thisis me Chris, the co host of
this podcast. And this is thefinal episode because after this, well can

(00:55):
we can we really watch anything else? After watching this? We are going
to be talking about the most recent, one of the more recent Steven Seagal
films. Now, let's just getthis out of the way. Trevor,
you're you're gonna agree with me.This is the least Steven Seagal movie we've
watched so far. I don't thinkyou can even legally be called a Steven
Seagal film. I don't know.The posters have Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal

(01:18):
on him. Mike Tyson's in itmore than Steven Seagal. Is Seagal?
I should have counted, but hewas only in there like five minutes.
Yes, that correct? So yeah, on this episode of On Seagal,
we are going to be talking abouttwenty seventeens China Salesman, otherwise known as
Deadly Contract, otherwise known as TribalWarfare, otherwise known as the movie that

(01:38):
advertised itself as when Mike Tyson andSteven Seagal would fight, and that was
the first ten minutes of the movie. Are you here to retreat the skald?

(02:00):
Whoever wins the bidding wins respect.You see, I will only kid
from mister yet. We need tofind ye Jan and kill him. Oh

(02:27):
now, let's all welcome mister YungJian, the great China Salesman, new

(02:58):
leader to South. The Block governmentmurdered him. The last two companies entering
the final phase are empty M TelecomM d H Telecom Girl. Are you
determined to put each telecom edit disadvantage? How can the H compete with the
MPM? Your technology is way behind? This is unfired engine. It's now

(03:23):
same as Susannah wants this bidding tobe in sinking with the ladiest the technology.
I suggest the witching standard two staging. Whoever wins the biddings respect.
I wouldn't make you come, missyet, You'll not welcome here. China

(03:52):
sells Man. June Us feted fromChina reach the source of Abga the years
ago or a single horse play allof why not know from the South is

(04:27):
not? This is your chance onthe constrous communication collapses fire, but the
entire telet communication will flock is down. It's just fight with them in in
fixive MISTAKESM I need a stunt,want to go with someone does not want

(04:54):
to different? You're not welcome here. China sellsman. Oh god, so

(05:55):
let's talk go Let's start from thebeginning. Will Yeah, how many?
I don't usually do this because Ithink I have a pretty good memory.
I took notes about this film.Yeah, and I got forty three notes
taking about this film. My firstnote is how many fucking companies produce this
thing? A lot of Chinese companies, including Glowden Rod Films Glowden because they

(06:20):
misspelled Golden. Yeah. It's soIt's directed by Tan, being written by
Tan, being with rewrites by ScottSalter. And so before we talk about
the movie, let's just get thisout of the way now. Lee dong
Hui plays Yan Jian, the titularChina salesman. And then they call him

(06:41):
every chance they ever again, whichhe keeps telling them my name is Jan
John. It reminds me of ChinMan Chinman from Attrition. But so yeah,
let's just get this out of theway now. This movie has Mike
Tyson and Steven Sagal in it barely. It is a out lee dong Hui
as Yan Jian, So let's justget that out of the way right now.

(07:03):
He's an IT engineer for a phonecompany bidding on a contract in Africa,
that's the plot of the movie,and these other companies are trying to
sabotage him to get the contract themselves. This is for they've because they've invented
a three G network or something likethat. They just have a three G

(07:23):
network, so I guess it's network. North Africa's not covered in cell towers
and doesn't have cell phone signal coverage, so DH China or whatever the hell
it's called. They're bidding for theopportunity to build towers in Africa, which
is obviously very lucrative. It's acouple million dollar contract. And you have

(07:46):
this character of Jon who goes toNorth Africa to help his company win and
he runs into all these weirdo peoplein Africa. Yeah, and he gets
embroiled in like a civil War almostYeah, all for a cell phone company.
Yep. It's like Verizon meets MichaelBay. It's a very strange plot.

(08:07):
Yeah, because there's more time givento three G networks and particularities of
phone and telecom than I think thismovie should have. Yeah, at least
a movie like this should have quoteunquote. I had to turn on subtitles
because I couldn't understand it damn thingpeople were saying because they were talking so
low and it was so that theaudio was so terribly done. The dubbing

(08:30):
was god awful. Oh my god, Oh the a dr dude, Oh
the ADR in this movie. Iwas taking shots of like short videos of
the movie and sending it to somefriends of mine when I was watching it,
because, like some of the ADRis just this movie is not only
a bad movie structurally and from astorytelling perspective, but it is also a

(08:54):
bad movie from a technical perspective.It is it's nice to look at,
but in twenty twenty or the latetwenty twenties or late teens, I guess
that's not impressive. Anybody can gospend money on a camera like well,
the Taholic Year movie looks good intwenty twenty. Even the technology there,

(09:15):
even the technologies are trying to sellin the film, is not impressive.
No, it's three G network.We already had five G in twenty seventeen,
or we were close. Yeah,we had way faster. I mean,
I guess maybe impressive for the forthe town they were in, for
the African country they were in,but like unnamed African country, unnamed Africa

(09:35):
country, they just you know,slap, it's an Africa still. Of
course, poverty and civil war.That's all people know about Africa. That's
all the filmmaker knew about Africa,was like poverty and civil war, even
though Africa is a lush, beautifulland. But you know, they just
want to focus on the poverty inthe civil war, and they figure Africans
are living like cave men, whichis very offensive. Yeah. I mean

(09:58):
again, I I don't know whatcountry. I mean, if this is
if this is meant to be somewherein northern Africa, well somewhere that is
less civilized, you know, lessthird we're a first world than the United
States, sure, but I honestlyhad a fucking hard time figuring out what
in God's name was going on.Most of the time anyways. Because well,

(10:20):
speaking of which, the editing isterrible because we cut from Mike Tyson
to lead, you know, tothe to the jan the China salesman.
We cut from we got from MikeTyson to the China salesman. I like,
are we watching two different movies here, because it seemed like they were
two separate things altogether, because theydon't really come together and tell what maybe

(10:43):
halfway through the film or something likethat, because the plots seem to come
now. The Mike Tyson got beinginvolved with the China salesman at all doesn't
come in until later, but wedon't know that, so we're thinking,
what the fuck is going on here? These are case First we're fine,
we're following the Chinese salesman trying tosell his wait, and now we're following

(11:05):
Mike Tyson in this bar looking likehe's meeting a gangster or a crime boss
or something. And Mike Tyson isjust always not a good actor, that's
for sure. Well you know inthis movie he fit right in. Um
you know what, Okay, here'sthe thing though, you say that,

(11:26):
but I want to say something,Lee Donghui. I couldn't tell you if
he's a bad actor or not,because this is not a fair judge of
that, because his English wasn't veryYeah, because he had heard about the
English. Well, that and thefact that he for the most part,
if you go on his IMDb page, the Gentleman doesn't work on anything other

(11:46):
than Chinese film. I mean,yeah, one Quinn quin Chen bing d
She Die doesn't sound like an Englishtitled filmed Well, I'm well, I'm
talking about his acting, notwithstanding,sure everybody else also sucks. Well,
Yes, Mike Tyson is great inThe Hangover because he's playing himself. He's

(12:09):
playing himself. Yeah, No,Mike Tyson's great in Mike Tyson's Story or
Mike tyson Mysteries because he's playing himself. Is he playing an assassin in this
film? So he's introduced as awarrior with a lineage of warriors. And
then we need to talk about hisfirst scene, the scene he is wait,

(12:31):
wait, hold on, time out, Get this out of the way
now, Trevor. How quickly intothe movie does this happen? About five
minutes? How that if you wereto put a percentage on how much of
the fight shows up in the trailerfor this movie. How much would you
say, I gotta be honestly,I didn't watch the trailer. The answer
is eighty percent of the fight showsup in the trailer. The trailer is
two and a half minutes long.You've seen then, you have seen all

(12:54):
of Seagal in a substantive way inthis film. Yes, yeah, I
just want to get the side ofthe way. Now. If you saw
the preview for this movie, yousaw all of Seagal, You've seen the
good parts of Mike Tyson. Thismovie reminded me before we talk about the
scenes specifically, did you do youremember that movie that came out a couple
of years ago. I think itwas actually last year that had Jackie Chan

(13:16):
and Schwartzenegger in it, The oneno one saw, the one that's like
this where it's a Chinese made moviewith American actors just to get the trailer
over here to us, but ultimatelyno one in the States went and saw
it, at least not because theywanted to, but maybe they were like,
oh, that movie has Jackie Chanand armed Schwartzenegger on the poster,

(13:37):
maybe we should watch it. We'renot talking about a round of Warren eight
days, right, No, I'mtalking about the other movie that has them
in it. It's called Like No, it's called VI to Journey to China,
and it was released in the UnitedStates as Iron Mask or The Iron
Mask. Right, Oh my god, I remember this. Yeah, it

(13:58):
has Jackie Chan in the trailer andSchwartzenegger and it has other American or English
actors. That has Jason Fleming,Charles Dance, Rutger Howard. But yeah,
that's what this movie reminded me of. It's like you bait and switched
to had better actors. That othermovie had better quality actors. So if
they're not being used in a substantiveway, it doesn't matter. There you

(14:20):
go. I don't know if theyare though, but I will tell you
I would contend they're probably used betterthan Steven Seagal and Mike Tyson are in
the first five minutes of this movie. Maybe we should do it on Schwartzenegger
podcast and have to watch the film. Yeah, but everybody, Yeah,
but everybody likes Schwartzen Ainger movies.We bring up schwartz and Ager movies on
this podcast, and I'm convinced.Let's get to the scene where Mike Tyson

(14:41):
meets Steven Seagal, he has serveda mug of urine. Yep, why
we see it? We see okay, first we see the bartender. We
see him from the back and wesee him looking down and he looks like
he's taking a piss. I thoughtto myself, okay, this it just
looks like he's taken vestit's toy untilthey serve him the mug. By the
way, impressive for that bartender filledm that pill, whole goddamn stein full

(15:05):
of piss, steine full of piss. And they want Mike Tyson to drink
it because he insulted them or somethinglike that. No, Mike Tyson's character,
his tribe did not drink they Hesays that his tribe abstains from alcohol,
which is why they were making sucha big deal of him saying no
to the drinks. And then theywere like, well, if you're not
going to drink alcohol, then drinkmy piss, motherfucker, like basically as

(15:26):
an insult. So this leads toa fight between between between Mike Tyson and
Stevenagle, which is it's not abad fight, it's just a brief one
and an unnecessary one. I thinkit was just put in the script because
Steven Zagle fights Mike Tyson. Wegotta sell it somehow. I think it
was put in the script because theygot Steven Zagle and Mike Tyson, and

(15:48):
you'd be stupid not to have themin your movie and be willing to put
them on screen again. It hasone of the funniest shots in the film,
the ear punch. You see hisfist go right by his ear and
it wiggles. Yeah, and Ithought that was hysterical and so um.
After the fight Mike Tyson, Ithink to the bartender, um, he
says it to Seagal once he slammedhis head into the wall. You serve

(16:11):
me pe, you die. Yeah. I wrote that down because I didn't
want to forget that line. Youdie. Steven Seagal gets beaten in this
movie. Yeah, it's kind ofsurprising. We have not seen anyone get
one over on Seagal yet, andSeagal never gets one back on Mike Tyson.
He doesn't bleed, nobody gets knockedout. He gets his head jammed

(16:33):
into a liquor like cabinet and itgets knocked out. Steven Seagal was gotten
the better of which is a firston this show. And I wrote down
here cell phone speed espionage. Sowe had this rival company to the China
salesman trying to basically fuck up hischance of getting this um deal um with

(16:56):
this major company. And for somereason they go wentto the desert and a
kidnapping plot ensues. Yeah, theycome upon a ritual in the desert.
Like I thought, maybe it waslike one of those forced um general mutilation
exactly. So that's what it seemedlike to me. The China salesman's co

(17:17):
partner gets out of the car,takes the girl and steals her away.
And then we find out that that'snot what was happening at all. It
was just a and the mother actuallyis happy. The mother of the child
is like happy that she stole herdaughter's Like, oh, I understand,
it's a simple misunderstanding. Come joinus in our tribal um, you know,

(17:38):
can't fire whatever they call it.And they give them this jar of
something that no one knows what itis, and they just drink it.
They don't ask questions, they justdrink it. They're given an unknown liquid
and it was apparently what was it, goat's milk or something like that as
alcohol. Just buy a goat's milk. I don't buy alcohol. Yeah,

(18:02):
god, it's it's shocking to methat this doesn't Okay, let me just
say right now, if what we'resaying doesn't make sense to the people listening
to this podcast, trust me,it didn't make sense to us either.
I mean, I don't know ifit didn't make sense. It was just
very boring. Like it's it feelslike it was stupid. It feels like

(18:22):
a movie being stupid. It feelslike a very cheaply made action movie.
It feels like cheaply made action Yeah, but it feels like General Commander,
and it feels like, you know, I'd rather watch General Commander again.
Yeah, but it feels like thosekinds of movies where it just it's competently
shocked. For the most part,it's competently lit, but you have I
see. Here's the thing. WhatI don't know is who is this for?

(18:47):
I was competently lit to watch this. Well, you know, I
don't know who this is for,Trevor, because this is for and I
read this a lot online. Iread a lot of Christians about the film,
and this is one that came outthe home. It was for Chinese
propaganda. Well okay, yeah,sure, but oh yeah, okay,
sure great, let's just get thatout of the way now. This movie
is Chinese propaganda too. Yeah.I mean they're better at the technical,

(19:10):
at cell phone technology and all thatgood stuff, and the Americans everyone else
is just plotting against them. Idon't think it's Americans or anything. I
think it's I think China in manyways, hey, yeah, which is
fine. I don't think they sayanything negative about anyone else. I think
they just take it upon themselves toreally show off how great of a country

(19:33):
they are, which is perfectly fine. But man, uh, I just
I don't want I want to knowwhat love is. Yeah. I don't
understand why this movie has made otherthan propaganda because it is a very boring
move. Pointless. Well's just boring, pointless, It's boring. My favorite

(19:56):
scene in the movie was, didyou take a note about the scene where
Steven Goal goes speak English? Oh? Yeah, that was real. That
was real, And you know what, it seemed real at the time,
right, It was like I knewthat I read it IMDb trivia. He
told him to speak English because hedidn't know his line. Yeah, I
knew that's what that was. Hesaw that scene. I was like,

(20:18):
that's gotta be a fucking mistake.He Marlon Brando that scene. He didn't
know his line, so he haseveryone else, you know, change everything
for him. I know, Iloved it. It was great. He
went Marlon Brando, and I thoughtthat was you knew, you knew when
you saw that scene that that wasreal though, right, it seemed real?
Yeah, it did seem real.Yeah, that's just it, just

(20:41):
that form. He's a prick,and the sad part is Segal's most entertaining
thing about the filmy. He's notthe least entertaining, that's for sure.
But when he was on screen,I I was happy because, you know,
I mean, it never really wasmade clear what Seagal does. He's

(21:03):
kind of played the same character ina bunch of these movies, just like
a dude Hagan arranged the dude who'sa boss of something, a former something.
I've noticed in writing the descriptions fora lot of our episodes for this
show, a lot of them startwith Segal plays a former or retired something.
In this he's an usually retired businessmob guy. Well, when he's

(21:26):
a former or retired, it's usuallysomething in them in the lines of like
cioperative or Special Forces Forces or anything, which is what I assume he was
in this movie, like a formerSpecial Forces guy. It's like, if
what was the last recent what wasthe last recent Segal film we did again?
Attrition? No? That was Nutrition? Wasn't Attrition? No? Are

(21:48):
you're talking about the one with BobbyLupo? No? No, no,
the one before that? Well,Attrition, Oh yeah, that was at
and Attrition. He's a retired umCIA operative in General commander. He's a
retired CI operative And then like hewas playing his character in Attrition, but
as a bad guy. Yeah,well, I'm not even sure that he's
good or bad in this movie.I mean he survives to the end of

(22:11):
the movie. I mean they havea throwaway line of like and louder is
often South America now, like great, give a shit? I mean,
what's what's what I don't like aboutthis movie is how they marketed it.
This is not Steven Seagal versus MikeTyson. That movie would have been a
good movie, at least an entertainingmovie, at least a movie that we
could have had a laugh at.This is a movie about a phone salesman

(22:37):
trapped in North Africa trying, yeah, trying to restore the cell phone lines
with Steven Seagale and Mike Tyson fightingin the literal first ten minutes of the
movie, because they know that theaudience isn't going to wait around for Steven
Seagal and Mike Tyson to fight.And if they get them to at least
rent it and watch that scene,guess what, they have your money exactly?

(23:00):
They already have your money anyways,it doesn't matter. But if it's
Segal and Tyson that gets you throughthe door, they need to deliver on
that. And I will say thatfor the most part, that scene delivers
as much as I think it couldif it's being made in twenty seventeen.
Now, if this had been madeat the height of the nineties with Segal
and Tyson in their prime, thatwould have been fucking cool as fuck.

(23:22):
Here, it's just like you gotan old Seagal and an old Tyson.
Do they look like they have kepttheir shape for the most part, yeah.
Do they look like they can moveon their feet, Yeah, But
it's not what it could have been. And to me it smacks of like
the Expendables like, oh, isn'tit cool to see all of them together?
Like yeah, but now it feelslike they're doing it on purpose as

(23:45):
opposed to organically because it was coolat the time. Well, I mean
to anyone listening, if you decideyou want to watch this film, if
you turn it off after the MikeTyson Seagal fight, you'll be fine.
Honestly, just go watch it onYouTube, like, yeah, this is
the first money, it is thefirst movie. I would suggest you just
watch this scene on YouTube because therest the movie is two hours long.

(24:08):
Yeah, and it doesn't need tobe. It really doesn't need to be
it and it like ends halfway throughthe movie. It ends in about an
hour twenty minutes, like straight up, it ends there and then like and
then like yeah, and literally asthe movie is ending, it reminds you
know what it's like. It's likeremembering water Boy. I Like, the
movie is over and then all ofa sudden, his dad shows up and
he's like, hey, Bobby,imagine if that scene and water Boy went

(24:33):
on for another forty five minutes thatis trying to sales you have, Like
the movie end and then the badguy shows up and goes but wait,
there's another forty minutes to the movie. Chris, Why did you have to
make me think of Waterboy? Ilike water Boy. I fucking hate water
Boys. I like Oh my God, I like Happy Gilmore. I like
I love Little Nicki. Okay,I'm gonna get on a tangent here.

(24:56):
We're gonna get back in a second. Go for it, Go for it.
I like Early Adams on the films. I love Happy Gilmore. I
liked Billy Madison. I thought LittleNicky was underrated, but Little Nicki is
amazing, Dude. Little Nicki AdamSandler's best movie. It had a great
Quentin Tarantino cameo. It has thebest thing Quentin Tarantino's ever done. You
make the load very nervous, hellfares burden me a laugh. And it

(25:22):
has probably the best, the bestadvertisement for Popeyes ever. What about the
best Clint Howard role. It's twofloors up on the ride? Oh God,
You'll never listen to Two of Heartsby Stacy Q the same way ever
again, Sure as hell haven't.And the film Candle Wax either. I
love at the end of the filmwhere they were telling everybody what they're doing
now. His four roommate did aone man shown only one person showed up.

(25:45):
This guy guy, this guy.But man that like for me,
this movie like just watch it all, my dude. Yeah, pretty much.
It's like a worthless piece of shit. Yeah, because like the movie,
like I said, it goes forabout an hour like ten, and
then it could end, and thenit's about to end and it just detours
back into the movie. Here's thething. It goes on these rants and

(26:07):
these these these rants and these itgoes on these tangents that are unrelated to
the plot. Yeah, yeah,completely for no other reason that the pat
up the running time and make itan action film, like the scene where
they go into the like we weretalking about, what was the point nothing?
And don't forget in that scene thatyou were talking about where it's like,
oh, it's a big misunderstanding.You took my daughter. Yo.

(26:30):
They are shooting at her with gunswhen she's driving away. Ye, Like
what kind of misunderstanding did you thinkthis was? Because they were expending live
rounds at this woman and they couldhave killed her, like yeah, And
suddenly what the funny thing is isthat they're trying to get a message to
this just chief or something or presidentto say that we do not want war.

(26:53):
Let's let's have a ceasefire. That'sthat's what they're trying to accomplish with
the phone lines. But the people, well, they're trying to sabotage the
Chinese commandity. They cut they blowup all the all the sidelights, and
but for some reason the villains canuse their phone. Well yeah, I
mean, that's the thing about thismovie is on the face of it,

(27:14):
and it was way too easy.How they solved that problem, by the
way, what problem was movie easy? How they made it so the phones
worked again? Well yeah, butI mean they could have also just like
sent a guy to the south oftown. Yeah, basically like the south
of the country, just like letthem know what they go on. They
put the chap sails in the middleof the Civil War for no fucking reason

(27:36):
other than, oh wait, oursell foot technology can get a message to
the president to tell them that theydo not want war, to let's have
a ceasefire. Right, That's theonly reason. What I really like about
this movie is the fact that likeI've gone and like looked on the like
fucking Entertainment Weekly and IMDb and stuff. They advertise this movie like this movie

(27:59):
was advertised. They was a pressjunkin. There's pictures of Mike Tyson doing
press for this film. It isinsane to me, all of your General,
Commander, beyond the law. Thosemovies came out went straight to Redbox
or whatever, or you know,direct TV on demand. You know,
people who saw it were people probablyjust fiddling around looking for something to watch,

(28:22):
oh, Steven Seagal whatever, orsaw it at Walmart for five bucks.
But man, this movie had abudget of one hundred and ten million
yen. That is wild. Thisis a high budget movie that I cannot
believe exists because what is going onin the movie is not at all what

(28:44):
it is being advertised. And Ihave got to believe people who went to
see this in the theaters, ifit was being shown in theaters, which
I've inclined to be believe it mighthave been, I have to believe people
left, they walked out of thisgoddamn movie. There's no way this again.
I'm not saying this movie movies bad. I'm just saying that this movie
is not what it is claiming tobe. Every piece of advertising features who

(29:07):
Segal and Tyson. It's even buildas Mike Tyson versus Steven Seagal. Make
that movie, don't make this.Don't try to bait. This is a
baton switch. It's a master batonswitch. It is. It's masterfully done
too. They turn this China salesmaninto a fucking savior. Yeah, they
literally stay, help me, You'reour only hope. How many China salesman?

(29:30):
You're my only hope? Like,yeah, well, that's what I
wrote down in my note, islike, help me, China salesman,
You're our only help. That iswhat they say. It's a direct reference
to Star Wars. I don't thinkthey knew that they did. You don't.
You don't say that by accident,or maybe you do. It's funny
you're that these filmmakers are so stupid. They probably did say that by accident,
didn't. I don't know. IAgain, for me, this is

(29:53):
kind of a hard thing for meto say, you know, bad or
good, because again, I almostfeel like watching a foreign film. It
feels like a foreign film, likeit does. It doesn't feel like a
film made with Western sensibilities, doesit. I watch foreign films, Chris.
I appreciate foreign films, even asa foreign film. This thing is

(30:14):
garbage. Again, I am Idon't, I can't. I can when
I am saying that this movie isbad because of the way it's advertised.
It's just a boring ass movie,Like it is almost a non movie outside
of the Segal Tyson stuff. Butthe problem in my mind is the Segal
and Tyson stuff is the horse thatthey have hitched their wagon too. Problem

(30:36):
is you get you get that horsefive miles down the road and then it
runs off and re saddled with therest of the journey with characters we don't
care about, actors we don't know, and situations that are not nearly as
interesting as fun or tan being andso Lom Guilt and whoever else helped rewrite
the script. Here's okay, Ineed to go, I need to tell

(30:57):
I need to I need to saysomething before I forget. So they're in
the middle of this conflict, right, they have to get across this border.
It is so apparently to get acrossthe border, the Chinese flag is
all they needed. Oh yeah,that was the Yeah, wasn't that the
most propaganda of propaganda? I meanagain, I'm not going to sit here

(31:18):
and say that it's not a propagandamovie. It totally is. But I
think it's funny that the fucking flagis blatantly it gets them across the border,
and it's blatantly It's like the mostimportant flag in the world. Is
what this apparently? You know?I mean, it is just it's again,
it feels patronizing. It is verypatronizing, and it is very much

(31:41):
in the pocket of China, ofcourse, intentionally or unintentionally. It's intentional.
I don't know if we want toget this into a political thing,
you know, considering what China's goingthrough right now. All I'm saying is
that kind of thing happens a lotin other countries movies. People in our
country do it too. It's justthe way it is. I love how

(32:02):
after all this fighting and all thiskilling, all these people that Mike Tyson
is killed, Let's give him abreak, let him go, and he
kills himself at the end, soit's okay, No, And when you
think the movie's over, then there'sa sudden lawsuit plot line. He gets
arrested. At the end, themain character goes to jail. The film
is resolved in text text on thescreen. That is how the movie resolves

(32:29):
itself. I need to go throughsome of my notes because there are some
things I forgot happened, like theseams Seagal on a bike and has obviously
cged his eyes on the mask.Oh my god. Oh that feels like
that feels like the Game of Death, like Bruce Lee in the Game of
Death, Like oh God, whereit's like a dude sitting at a mirror
holding up a cutout of Bruce Lee'sface over his It feels the same way

(32:51):
it was, like clearly done andafter effects it's just like this, like
the t zone of Seagal's face.Yeah. No again, Like I said,
it's not a very well made movieeither. Like it's a movie with
a huge budget that does nothing withit. Like it has explosions, it
has guns, it has action,none of it's particularly compelling. I love

(33:12):
how in the near the end ofthe film they bring in a snooty British
bad guy. I know, like, of course they did. They happen
again though, it's like two moviessmashed into one. It really feels that
way. Yeah, but neither ofthe movies are good. No, I
agree. I again for me,this movie is two hours long and in
that two hours. I was entertainedall of five because that's when Segal and

(33:37):
Tyson are on screen, and that'swhat was promised. And when I was
watching what they promised they were goingto show me, I enjoyed it.
When it was a random China salesmanrunning around, I could couldn't have cared
lesson. That's because the movie,because these characters are not written very well.
That they're not weren't supposed to be. They're not interesting, they're not
really someone that you care about.They're not I mean, I would have

(34:00):
watched the movie with segalon Tyson smashingeach other through walls of random environments into
new environments, just fighting each otherfor an out. Whenever anyone gets hit
in this film, they fly agood ten feet. Yeah, Mike Tyson's
hitting people with like the force ofa fucking mactruck. But it's fucking wild.
He's hot, dukating every fucking person, and he finds when he punches

(34:23):
like stone walls, they crack like. It's yeah again, the stuff was
Segal and Tyson together is interesting,Yeah, but when they're separate, look
Tyson. When Tyson doesn't open hismouth, he's great. He is imposing.
But the minute he opens his mouth, we all know what Mike Tyson
sounds like we all know about theYeah, yeah, we all know about

(34:45):
the you know now Kith, likewe all know about that, Like that's
you know. But yeah, he'snot. He's like brock Lessner. He's
not intimidating. If he opens hismouth, don't let him open his mouth
because he's intimidating. Dude, he'sgot a look, he has a facial
tattoo, and I don't question it. Like, if you have a facial
tattoo, first off, props toyou for having the balls to do that.

(35:06):
Secondly, if you have the ballsto do it and you can rock
it and look like a badass,Mike Tyson's a badass. I mean he's
also, you know, a rapist. Yeah, it's also a rapist,
sexual assaulters, sexual predator, justlike Steven Seagal. So let's get that
out of the way too. Butbut allegedly with Seagal, let's not forget
Mike Tyson. Allegedly. Yeah,Mike Testmoon's convicted. And that's why I

(35:29):
say allegedly versus convicted, because oneof them is convicted. Do I need
to go on my hangover rant.What they you don't like to hangover?
No? I love the first hangoverfirst thing that was funny as hell,
the second the second one was justthe first one, but worst. The
third one they were going to havethis camera. No, no, the
second one that was the cameo.They were gonna have a cameo with mel
Gibson as a tattoo artist. Right, But Zach Galafa Nakis vetoed it because

(35:52):
of what mel Gibson said, becauseof mel Gibson's past. But I'm thinking
to myself, you're okay with aconvicted rapist wing in your film. Convicted
rapist too, I convicted rapist cameoleading in your film. You have a
problem with mel Gibson doing a cameoas a as a tattoo artist. I
mean, mel Gibson's a piece ofshit, don't get me wrong, But

(36:12):
so as Mike Tyson. Yeah,exactly, so, don't you know,
don't Mike Tyson may be a lovelyman, but he still raped someone.
He did he raped someone, whichis piece of shit behavior. Again,
he may be a lovely he maybe a lovely man. He may be
the nicest, sweetest man in theworld. His daughter passed away unfortunately recently,
of a horrible accident on a treadmill. I feel for the guy.

(36:34):
He's also a convicted rapist who servedprison time. Hollywood has seemed to have
embraced him in the lately. Imean, yeah, he did the Communist
Central roast of what who did hedo? The com centraal roast of Charlie
Sheen. Is also an ip manthree he was. I thought it was
always ip man, but I guessI'm I don't know, I man,
I don't know anyway, he was. He has his own adult swim cartoon.

(36:58):
Yeah, Mike Tyson Mysteries fantastic,and he seems to have bounced back
pretty well for a convicted rapist.He's also a famous convicted rapist, not
famous for convict He's let me putit this way, he's a convicted rapist,
not famous for the raping. Heis famous for everything else he's done,
so the rape thing just kind ofgets forgotten apparently, yea, which

(37:20):
speaks to our culture on taking peopleseriously about raping and being treated like rapists
after they're done serving time for beingrapists. And I mean, when Kobe
Bryant died you remember what happened.Then I do, And I was one
of the few people who was like, I'm good, not good that he's
dead. But he's a convicted rapist. Why are we looking up? He

(37:40):
wasn't convicted me, he was allegedrapist. Well, Evan rachel Wood made
that tweet after he died and ashit storm blue. Well, yeah,
because Evan rachel would also defended DavidBowie, and David Bowie did the same
thing allegedly, and her ex MarilynManson ag have we heard a word from

(38:01):
her about him? Well? No, no, she was one of the
people I think who said something.Okay, okay, look we have gone
we have gone through the reckoning.We're still in the reckoning. It's a
good thing. It needed to happen. But I do I do not understand
the selectivism because I mean, look, in my mind, in a society

(38:23):
that works, someone who goes toprison spends time in prison. When they
come out, we it's a balancingact. Maybe they've gone to prison like
they've yeah, I mean they're Imean that is part of it. I
mean that he's gone to prison,he's paid his price. I mean again,
but go and ask the family ofthe woman that was you know,

(38:44):
assaulted assaulted by by him, andthey would say otherwise. I'm not but
I agree in my mind, ifyou go to prison, you serve your
time commisserate to your crime. Youare you in my come out not with
a clean slate. You're still felon. But Mike Tyson being a felon is

(39:05):
very different than you were I beinga felon, because Mike Tyson is still
Mike Tyson regardless of him being afelon. Well, it's like what it's
like. Well, OJ Simpson henever went to prison, but he's never
gonna shake it well. And actuallyhe did go to prison, well,
I mean, but not for whathe was supposed to go to prison.
But he went to prison, whichI think for me is good. Yeah,
but he's still never going to liveit down. Well. He also

(39:27):
was found guilty in a civil trialthat he did it, so the wrongful
death one. Yeah, it wasfinancially liable. So as far as I'm
concerned, he did get convicted.But the thing he went to prison for
was I think was robbery, robbingsomeone of his own stuff. Yeah,
in Vegas. Because O. J. Simpson's an idiot. Of course he's
an idiot, I know, buthe's not an idiot. He's not a

(39:49):
convicted murderer. And that's only onlyan idiot would try to put out a
video called just like a Prank Showwhere one of the pranks is trying to
sell the white Bronco. I meanto be fair, that shows pretty great.
Have you watched it? The wholething? I've watched whatever I could
find on YouTube. It is shocking. I just got juiced. Nobody asked
for this oj That's a disturbing image, by the way, where he's wearing

(40:13):
the old man makeup and he saysjuiced, I'm like Jesus Christ, that
looks disgusting. Look again, likewe've said, you can be Stephen Seagal
and be accused of sexually assaulting eighteenwomen. Yeah, it can be Mike
Tyson and be convicted of raping awoman. And yet in twenty seventeen they
made a movie together. And yetin twenty seventeen they still draw paychecks.

(40:34):
And yet in twenty seventeen they're stillemployed. And they're still employed now,
so it must going to be unemployed, right, it must not matter too
much, or maybe they've already servedtheir time. I can't answer this question.
It's a personal question about our feelingson recidivism and punishment and what is
punishment fitting the crime and what doesthat even look like. But I will
tell you similarly to yourself. Ijust find it a little weird that we've

(40:59):
given sir people pass and other peoplewe haven't exactly because sexual assault is sexual
assault is sexual assault. It's justthe way it is to put one over
another. Not only devalues people whohave had it happened to them, but
also you're somehow putting some sort oftier system to sexual assault, which in
and of itself is awful. Sowe're very selective on who we quote unquote

(41:21):
cancel, correct, And I don'tthink we should cancel anyone should be consequences
culture. No cancel someone, makethem serve or deal with the consequences.
That's what people don't like. Peopledon't like the consequences part. People complain
about cancel culture. They're not complainingabout the canceling part inasmuch as they're complaining
about having to answer for the thingsthat they do. And people want to

(41:42):
just be able to do what theywant now and not have to be held
accountable, and I don't think thatthat's okay. And that's what we're talking
about here, accountability. I mean, again, we are not promoting Mike
Tyson. We are We are notsaying what he did was right. What
he did was god awful. AndI'm not even sure we should be doing

(42:04):
a Steven Seagal podcast sometimes if Ithink about it really hard. I mean,
there are probably a lot of womenthey're talking, probably a lot of
women who don't want Steven Seagal toget this attention that he's getting correct.
But we mention it on every showbecause it really you can't. You can't
ignore the elephant in the room.No, I mean maybe we're maybe we
shouldn't talk about him at all,but I won't go that far. Yeah,

(42:30):
these movies still exist. Allow thattoo, But the movies still exist.
The movies, they're there and they'reundeniable. I mean, someone's got
to talk about the movies. Imean, there are movies that deserve to
be analyzed. Go one step further, it's unfair to everyone else in these
movies for people not to watch themjust because Steven Seagal, Mike Tyson,

(42:52):
er Mo, because he for betteror worse has been in movies with amazing
actors. Yeah. Look, lookat the next film we're gonna talk about.
We're gonna talk about Understiege. Ithas Tommy Lee Jones, in my
opinion, one of the great actorsone time. Yeah, top top ten
as far as I'm concerned, probablytop uh. He Unfortunately he cannot sanction

(43:15):
our buffoonery. Um, you don'tget that joke, do you? I
don't know what that's from. Okay, can I tell you the quick story
where it's from? Sure? Okay, Jim Carrey and Tommy Lee Uh,
Okay, it's about to because they'reabout to do Batman in Forever together.
He decides, Hey, I'm justgonna see hi to Tommie Jones, say
how happy I am to work withhim. They're out at a restaurant.

(43:37):
He sees them, I'm gonna rashim across the room. Yeah, he
goes, Hey, I'm looking forwardto working with you on Batman Forever.
It's good to see you here.Tommy Lee Jones hugs him and says in
his ear, I hate you.I cannot sanction your buffoonery. Do you
think he actually hated him? Yeah? I really do, because Tommy Lee
Jones is not one who I thinkwould kid like that suffer fools lightly exactly.

(44:00):
There was that rumor that him andVal Kilmore were refuting on the on
the set that Kilmo didn't like him, but I don't think that's true.
Um. By the way, ifanyone's listening watch Val on Amazon Prime,
it is phenomenal. Um. Okay, rant over promotion over uh but yeah,
I mean Seagal, he's worked withjust amazing actors, and those actors

(44:22):
also need to be recognized for thingsthey've done. Yeah, I mean Bill
Sadler, a man who doesn't getenough attention in my opinion talking about him
in the Hard to Kill episode.You know, he needed to be talked
about because he's Bill Sadler, youknow. Yeah, I mean no,
because say with you, well,he hires character actors who I don't think

(44:43):
get enough appreciation. Correct. Um, you know, so, I mean
there are good there are good thingsabout talking about seagal films, and not
just Sigal. He's worked with greatdirectors like Andrew Davis. Um, you
know, great actors, um,writers, those can be those need to
be talked about as well, notjust Seagal. I agree. I mean

(45:04):
again, it's this is why wedo the podcast. Yeah, not just
not just to like be shitty likeshit on Seagal and not to be like
praise Seagal and all he's done.It's to talk about the technical aspects of
the films that he's done and thepeople that he's worked with. Yeah,
so I think we need to givewe have to give credit where credits due.
Well, and I think for meagain also, I have a very

(45:27):
you know, tenuous relationship with cancelculture, as do you. I have
my own feelings on it, asdo you. My feelings are probably not
what a lot of people would have, or maybe it's like a tempered version
of what someone else has, butmy height as people are too too eager
to push the button sometimes, yeah, I would agree, I think people
are. I think the real thingis people are too eager to push the

(45:51):
button over the littlest things when thereare genuinely gigantic things. I know,
but you can push the button quicklyon real things too. But I'm glad
that pieces of shit are coming tolight as pieces of shit. Yeah,
and look, let's not kid ourselves. There is some sort of justice in
Steven Seagal never working in like abig budget movie exactly. Yeah. I

(46:13):
mean, it's not like Steven Seagalis tearing up the screen with Tom Cruise
in the new Mission Impossible movie.He's relegated to direct to streaming, direct
to video, whether it be ofhis own creation or because the industry says,
you know, we don't really wantto deal with you because of that,
your previous behavior, whatever that is, which is the sexual assault is

(46:34):
just part of it. Mind you, And this podcast is not going to
change anyone's mind about Seal. Everybody, like, here's this's not going to
make people want to say, ohman, I forgot how awesome Steven Seagal
was. Let's rent a lot ofhis films and make him a bigger star
again. Here's the thing. Ithink people's opinions on Seagal are more or
less all the same, right,we all think, yeah, I think

(46:55):
we all think varying degrees of thisguy's a buffoon, but he's also kind
of a talented buffood. Well,here's the thing. If he's ever in
a big screen budget, you know, released on theater's film, it's only
going to be a stunt cast atthis point. Yeah, machete, Yeah,
Machete showed us that. I mean, I don't know if the Onion

(47:16):
was a theatrical it was, butit's again stunt casting. That was a
stunt cast. And one could goas far as to say casting Seagal and
Tyson in your movie about three GNetworks in North Africa is stunt casting because
the movie advertised itself as Mike Tysonversus Steven Seagal, and that is not

(47:37):
what it is about. And here'sthe thing. You could have put anybody
in Mike Tyson's role and it wouldn'thave changed the thing in this movie.
If you're going to cast Mike Tyson, give him something to do, well,
it would have changed the role,and that maybe the person would have
been a somewhat more competent actor thanMike Tyson is. Yeah, but like
I said, stunt like you said, stunt casting. No, no,

(47:59):
I agree, it is one stuntcasting. It's just not It's not the
kind I was talking about. Butit is still stunt casting. I mean,
it is the worst kind of stuntcasting. Yeah, it's eyes on
your product stunt casting pretty much.Man, I mean Jesus, Yeah,
I really like the advertising for thismovie really struck a nerve with me because

(48:22):
I hate, hate, hate moviesthat do this. Oh it's a it's
a it's an epidemic of when theyadvertise films as something that they are very
much not. I know, butman, they don't. This is its
own thing. They showed all oftheir scenes together in the trailer, Like,
I go watch that trailer, dude, It's it's nuts. They show

(48:44):
all the good stuff. And youknow what, we always say that about
trailers, like, oh, theyshowed all the good stuff. In this
case, they actually did show allthe good stuff, and you know what,
you have to watch the movie tofigure that out. In a lot
of these movies, you like,watch it and it's like, oh,
okay, they showed a lot ofthis stuff in the preview, but they
didn't show everything in this movie.They in this movie's trailer, they actually

(49:04):
showed everything. I made a noteon the on my app saying that I've
seen better acting in a Neo Breenfilm. I mean, I've seen better
acting. I've seen better acting ina lot of movies, especially movies with
actors who know what they're doing.And Seagal and Tyson are not competent actors
enough to carry a film anymore Segalanymore. I thought Seal was fine.

(49:29):
And he's not being asked to doanything though, No he's not. He's
just asked to be the low talking. Why is Steven Seagal, Yeah,
not asked to do anymore than hehas to. Nope, that's that's the
thing. That's what I've mentioned before. They don't challenge him anymore. No,
he is being stunt cast exactly.It's just weird because normally there's only

(49:50):
one person being stunt cast in themovies, and it's Steven Seagal. Very
rarely is it's Steven Seagal and someoneelse. And in this movie you have
Segal and Tyson and that great andman Stigal is doing did press for this
movie? Tyson did press for thismovie? Like that to me is just
wild. Absolutely well, this isagain, this is a this is a
movie like General Commander with a budgetlike Under Siege, and it is neither

(50:15):
film because it is immensely unsuccessful inall regards, incredibly unsuccessful. Yeah,
And the fact that like anyone watchedthis movie and was entertained or intrigued or
interested is just mind boggling to me, because I don't know what movie they
were watching. And also title forthis movie is absolute trash. I think

(50:37):
for me, what puts it overthe top, more so than a lot
of the stuff that we've watched,is the soul fact that, at least
with the other movies that I've watchedthat have been bad, they've been bad
because well they were just kind offailures as movies. This is no.
This movie is bad because this moviestraight up cons the audience into thinking it's

(50:59):
one thing when it is actually somethingelse. We can go into a whole
other. Yeah, we can talkall about false advertising movies, but man,
this is this is as bad asI have ever seen period. Yes,
it's it's the bad, it's thebaddest of bad. Yeah it's it's
it's up there. This is upthere for some of the worst movies I've
ever seen, because again I don'tsee very many movies like this very often.

(51:22):
That that just you know, spoilthe entire thing that they're advertising in
the trailer and then in the actualmovie. Don't give you any more than
that. It spits in the faceof good storytelling. It spits in the
face of the viewer who's a sgalor a Tyson fan. Yeah, those
are the people that are being takenadvantage of, yeah, pretty much,

(51:43):
or people that wanted to watch agood action movie because again, it has
the trailer and it has the posterfor a movie that it isn't. I
want our viewers to look up ChinaSalesman poster and see how fucking awful that,
how fucking like bait and switch thatposter is. Oh yeah, all
of them, all of them.For the most part. They probably did
more work advertising for this movie thanthey actually did for the movie. Yeah,

(52:07):
and man, I would love toknow how much Seagal and Tyson walked
away from this movie with because theymust have gotten paid a lot. I
know they did, you know theydid. Oh, of course they got
paid a lot. Yeah. Sothis for me is no ponytail big time.
This is he's barely even in thisdamn movie. To be honest with
you, this is this is belowNope, this is minus no inverse ponytail,

(52:30):
This is inverse part. This isbuzzcut. This is probably the bar
that we're going to measure everything elseagainst until we until we get something worse.
Even his bad films, it's like, well it was bad, but
it wasn't China salesman. General commanderwasn't good beyond the law, wasn't good.
But man, they weren't China salesman. I would rather watch them than

(52:50):
this, because, boy, twohours of this when five minutes is what
we're here for, Good Lord,that is that is not a what's the
word enticing proposition to be made?Okay, enticening if enticing, Yeah,
this is the least enticening proposition.It's think it is the baddest bad,

(53:13):
bad Seagal film. It's not.It's not even it's bad in a way
that it's not even fun. Andthat's when bad bad. But that's the
biggest sin of the film is it'snot even entertainingly bad, but it's just
boring. It is boring. It'sboring. I can't figure an audience this
movie is made for. I reallycan't see that there's a person in the
world who enjoy this film. Ireally can't. No, I can't.

(53:36):
I can't either, because it iseven It is bad propaganda if it I
mean it is, yeah, aspropaganda goes, it's bad propaganda. I
mean, look, it's not verywell reviewed. No, every everybody says,
you know, it's a gratuitous Chinapatting on the back. And you
know, some people are like,oh, it's you crazy over the top,

(53:58):
it's a guilty pleasure. No it'snot. No, it isn't.
Yeah. And you know what,if it had been a half an hour
shorter, would it maybe be inthat category of so bad They're good?
Maybe if there are there are ridiculousthings in the film, but unfortunately the
ridiculousness doesn't happen enough to qualify itas a bad film. And the other
thing, there are sporadic instances instancesexcuse me of absurdity, but that's not

(54:22):
enough to put it into the sobad it's good category now, and often
with so bad It's good, themovie has to be watched in its entirety
to appreciate the badness. Yeah,we want to do that to people with
this movie. The scenes that youcan the scene to watch can be watched
on YouTube with relative ease. Andyou have seen that scene and you do

(54:45):
not need to see anything else.Nope, you've pretty much gotten your freaks.
Yeah, free worth, I guessyou could saying. You. Let
me put it this way, ifyou watch this movie on YouTube, the
scene between Tyson and Sigal. Youwill have I've seen the best thing that
we saw in the movie without havingto watch one hundred and forty five other

(55:06):
you know, minutes who had onehundred and forty minutes one hundred and ten.
So you will have seen the fiveminutes of the movie without one hundred
and five minutes of garbage surrounding.So it is an unnecessarily long movie,
and that's one of its biggest Yeah, that's yeah, that is one of
the worst things about it. It'sa bad movie that overstays it's welcome by
a half an hour at least.So the case it overstays it's welcome at

(55:29):
the moment the Seagal and Tyson sceneis over for that matter. So bottom
line, go on YouTube search MikeTyson Steven Seagal fight. That's all you
need to see of this film.So on a good note, let's get
talk about our next episode. It'sa big episode. It is a big
episode. We will be talking aboutthe Seagal Dare I say Classic under Siege.

(55:51):
It's definitely the movie that I wouldsay is his biggest movie. Yeah,
this is the one that skyrocketed in. Yeah, I mean this is
this is if you're going to talkSeagal, this is the movie is under
Siege. Any let me put itthis way. A person on the street
will have heard of under Siege.Yeah, hearn to kill out for justice

(56:12):
kind of maybe who knows under Siegeis the film that defines him? Ask
a person name a Seagal film underseeunder Siege. That's the one they will
mention pretty much. And for thisepisode we have our first special guest,
and Chris, would you like tomention who this guest will be? Yeah,
So we've talked about his book onthe show a couple of times,

(56:32):
but we're actually gonna be joined byVerne of Seagology fame. The book Seagology
now available on Amazon, Kindle andanywhere else you buy your books. It
is it is a yeah, itis a tongue in cheek but sometimes very
serious look at mister Seagal's filmology actthey titled Seagology. It's fantastic. Trevor

(56:53):
has been reading it. I haveread it. It's a great book.
And you know what, you canread it and put it down because,
like a normal book, the chaptersjust correspond to the movies. So if
you watch a Sigal movie. Youcan read the chapter. It's five or
six pages on just that movie,and you can move on. So if
you're not into just reading this ismaybe you know something for you. It's
like ten fifteen bucks on Amazon.It's a great read. It's very tongue

(57:16):
in cheek, but it is alsoobservational and observational humor, which I appreciate,
as I know Trevor does. SoYeah, we're gonna be joined by
Vern on that episode, and we'regonna be talking about under Siege. I
haven't seen it in a long time. I haven't seen it in at least
five years. I haven't seen itin a while either, but I know
that it's a great film because Iremember it being a great film the last

(57:38):
time I watched it. We talkedabout it on the podcast A Culture Cast
in twenties sixteen or fifteen, becauseI talked to Damian Choppa for that movie.
Oh yes, Although if you askme to name a Damien Chappa film,
I just say street Fighter. KenYe Ken Masters, he is Ken.
He is not a good Ken either, but that's beside the point that

(58:00):
street Fighters another another topic for notthis podcast, because street Fighter is a
good movie, though it has itsmoments. Yeah, it is a good
It is a good bad movie.It is a very entertaining good bad movie.
And the thing is, here's thething about the film as a good
bad movie. There are actual,legit good things about it. Yeah,

(58:21):
like Mario Brothers movie, that isali bad movie. I don't even think
it's bad, but well I know, but like in the grand scheme of
things, yeah, it is abad movie, but it just happens to
be a very successful bad movie.I am one of the Internet's, like,
you know, outliers when it comesto the Super Mario Brothers movie.
The Internet is I don't think you'rean outlier anymore. Pal, It's become

(58:44):
pretty much, it's become kind ofa cult classic. I mean that.
Yeah, have you seen the recentlyreleased extended version. No, but I
you told me about it. Yes, Look, I like the Super Mario
Brothers movie. It's a bad movie, but it is a interesting failure it
Again, unlike this movie, youcan fail, but fail in a way

(59:04):
that is still compelling. The storycan tell me it's a Mario Brothers movie
and then not show the Mario Brotherson screen, but for five minutes the
story of the making of the filmis very good. It's very entertaining.
Can you imagine what the story behindmaking this movie must have been? It
must have been weird. Now,the story was, Hey Sigala, you
need a couple of couple thousand bucks? Sure, yeah, okay, we'll

(59:28):
need you for a day. That'sabout it. Okay, yeah, probably
less than that. Two days,one day, five hours. Hey Sigal,
you want to be the star ofour action film? Yeah? Other
fifth grade one? Am I gonnado? You're gonna play an assassin?
Oh my god, that's amazing.Gone, that's that's a pretty good Mike
Tyson. That's a good Mike Tyson. Dude, I'm not joking. I'm
impressed. You're gonna get served amug of pith. Oh my god,

(59:51):
how much? How much you're gonnapay me with that? I'm gonna get
paid to do with I'm gonna getpaid to do what I do on the
weekends normally for free. Drink poh. That's the secret. A box
and drink PIF before every match andyou'll be unstoppable. See that's pretty good,
Mike Dyson. But I am lookingforward to under siege under stage.
I'm very much looking. I'm verymuch looking forward to talking to Verne.
Yeah, this is a guy.This podcast basically is we have this inspired

(01:00:16):
by psychology. Yeah, I meanit really is. I mean that Seagology
book and the way Verne presented whatthe way, the way he talks about
the movies is what I wanted tobring to this, which is watching the
movies and having no expectation going intothem because Verne getting Verne gives the DTV
the direct to video movies. Hegives them a fair shake when nobody else

(01:00:38):
would. So, well, that'swhat we do. We don't go and
expecting to hate the film. No, I go in with an open eyed
every time. Even I really wantedto like this movie as I know to
Yeah, I know. I mean, I'm surprised how much I liked Attrition
me too, I know, Iwas thinking about that when I was watching
Time of Salesman. I was like, man, I really liked Attrition And

(01:01:00):
this is really needs This really needsan end credit sequence for Seagal paces guitar
and sings. This really needs Seagalwriting the script. It does. I
mean, a script written by Segalis more competent than this one. That's
shocking. Yeah, that's an indictmentof your film if I ever heard one.
I mean, it's kind of feelit kind of feels like it.
So until then, Trevor, wherecan people find you? You can find

(01:01:22):
me on Twitter and Instagram. Twitterat bad Vertigo, Instagram at mad Vertigo.
I still think I am. Idon't usually use Instagram very often because
I don't think they're interesting pictures inmy life, isn't that interesting? Best
SIDESI podcast? So where can peoplefind you? Chris uh c stashu dot
com. That's where all the thingsI work on are. Like Trevor said,

(01:01:45):
we do this show together. Trevoris on the Culture Cast, my
main show quite often. So ifthat's where you want to find us,
you can find us csts dot comCulture Cast on Seagal, this show has
a couple episodes where only man quarterof the way, not even through Seagal's
photography. Probably we're probably getting we'reprobably getting close to a quarter, I

(01:02:07):
would think, yeah, because thisis episode eight and underseages nine. So
I don't know if Seagal has morethan thirty movies. He might. Right
off the top of my head,I can't tell you, but yeah,
I mean, that's where you canfind me, That's where you can find
Trevor. You can find this podcaston Facebook at on Seagal, but just

(01:02:27):
go find the RSS feed at onsagal dot com. Maybe hit Steven Seagal
up mention us to him, seeif he'll come on our show, because
I've reached out to his people andthey said me, he's not really promoting
anything, so like, okay,we don't care, but he cares.
But he might not want to comeon after what we said about him.
I mean again, if the guycan't have a if the guy can't you

(01:02:52):
know, make a I don't know, make light of his own past,
then yeah, maybe he doesn't wantto come on here. Well yeah,
I mean he's always welcome. Yeah, we are opening invitation, mister Seagal
if you're listening, come on thepodcast anytime. We'll give you as much
time as you want to talk.Yeah, sure, why not? And
you know what, we probably won'thave the same reaccent Lord Michaels did.

(01:03:14):
No, we will not. Idon't know maybe, I mean again,
depends on how radical views get.Yeah, you can find us here.
You should check us out on Facebookeverywhere else that's where Trevor and I are.
Thank you for listening.