AJ @ajandhisbackpack and Rose @irreplaceable_Rodriguez are back to stir the pot with some spicy relationship debates. This episode dives into the murky waters of dating dynamics with topics that are sure to spark some serious discussion. First up, they tackle the controversial role of financial transparency in the early stages of dating. Next, they weigh in on the age-old question: Is it respectable and reasonable for a man to require a 50/50 split in a relationship? Finally, the duo delves into whether men can be "the prize" in the dating phase. Tune in!!
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(00:00):
Of y Day McLaughlin. I'm RyanRue, I'm DJ Rich iceis the tough
f I'm Clinny Martinez and we arethe hosts of Opinions and Consequences, the
podcast, the show where Europeans canlead to consequences. So choose your words
wisely, enjoy the show. Chiff, Yo, what's going on? People?
(00:28):
Men? Welcome back to another episodeof Openings Consequences Off the Books.
You guys know this is the condensed, shortened version of the full episode.
Guys, you gotta already know.This is the thought provoking, sometimes controversial,
but always entertaining show. Guys,I got a guest of the building.
(00:49):
I want to welcome Rose back intothe building. What's Poppy? It's
good? What's good? Bam?Are you doing? Everything is good?
As the summer, Ben, let'sjust getting started. Okay, Okay,
I know I know how Boston is. Boston summer is very very late.
(01:10):
People like you know what I mean. I don't know if people have been
up to the northeast, but oursummer starts kind of like in June,
late June, August definitely. Yeah, we're like late June July. What's
what? Let me ask you thiswhat's your favorite season like being up in
here, like besides summertime? Okay, definitely early fall, early fall,
(01:33):
early fall. It's not raining,it's not crazy. I get to wear
like my cozy, cute outfits andlike you like a sweater like, yes,
the sweater the stars. You getto wear a lot of accessories a
female, what do you mean neccessorieslike series? You get to wear the
cute hats, the cutey your fashionablejacket with Yeah, it makes your whole
(01:57):
outfit. I can make cute andand feel good. So like, do
you prefer follow over summer? Hm? Like, I know you get to
show skin, you get to dothe whole Like Hi, I know you
get to show and start getting itout. Come back to that. We're
(02:21):
gonna come back to that, allright, listen really quick, listen,
We're gonna get right into the show. Guys. First question, I know
this is your question. Can menbe the prize during dating phase? Is
this a reasonable or healthy dynamic tohave between potential suitors? Listen, people,
(02:47):
I'm gonna start this off. I'mgonna get right into my back people.
I think both parties can be prizes. I do think that depend on
on what you deem is the prizeis going to it's going to make you
(03:07):
understand if that person is the prizeor not the prize for you, you
know what I mean? My thingis just like you know, I feel
like a lot of us, alot of us have this misconception, misconception
on certain people being a prize ina relationship where it's it's kind of like
(03:30):
yo, this is the girl orthis is the guy. But I feel
like everybody has their thing that theybring to the table, right, you
know what I mean? Yeah,I don't know what you got to said
with that, So I'll tell youfrom like me being a woman in my
(03:50):
perspective, Okay, here we go. You have to be a very specific
type of man to tell me thatyou were the prize. If a man,
any man just tells me they're prize, and I don't see like the
the you know, the merits thatyou bring to the table. There's no
second day. Like I'll just Godbe with you, bless you. You're
(04:11):
going to go yep, And I'lltell you why. Because women preach about
being the prize. Right. You'veseen like a lot of videos on social
media that kind of stuff. We'remore of an emotional creatures. When we
say that kind of stuff, we'retrying to learn to self validate. We're
trying to say, you know what, I've got to raise myself to a
(04:32):
higher standard. I've got to raisemy value. You know, a man
should be putting more effort into it. And if you guys are truly interested
in a woman, you one hundredand ten percent will put much more effort
into it than a woman that youguys aren't really all that interested in to
begin with. So here's that,right, And then you have the guy
(04:55):
saying that he's the guy who's sayingthat he's the prize. You guys operate,
not that you're not emotional creatures,but you guys operate more on your
pride and ego. So if Ihear a man say I'm the prize,
it's not because he's trying to selfvalidate. It's because he's looking for external
validation. I would say, andI'm not saying that's everyone, you know,
(05:17):
like a guy who says that wouldstrike me more as a guy who
just wants someone to stroke his ego, And therefore for me it would be
like, okay, so now I'mhaving to prove myself to you because you
are the prize. If that makesso listen, I'm a capital view.
(05:39):
I'm picking up what she's putting down. People, I'm picking up what she's
putting down. However I do.Okay, So guys, if you guys
are coming off as you're saying you'rethe prize, okay, you guys gotta
put that back in the show becausemy thing is like this is like I
feel like I feel like a lotof us and I'm talking to you gentlemen.
(06:02):
We have to let the other persondeem us as being a prized you
know what I mean. It's it'sit's one of those things where I feel
like a lot of us. Wejump out in females too, where you're
like feel like, yeah, I'mthat, I'm I'm all what you need.
(06:23):
Yeah, I'm all what you need. Yeah, go ahead, do
it, do it time, allwhat you need? Yes, yes,
yeah, well yes, I'm notsaying there There isn't any like outliers when
it comes to like the women.But usually when you hear women preach that
it's it's more about learning to selfout it because the majority of us tend
(06:45):
to settle for less than we deservejust because like the guy, if that
makes sense, which you are toa certain extent where it's just like you
know, I feel like I don'tfeel like a lot of us are in
it to get less. I feellike we have to understand our values,
like you know what I mean.So for me, if I would see
(07:09):
something you know like that, Butyeah, so ahead, go ahead,
man, I think I'm learning inmy in my own personal life, you
have to remember that relationships are toserve someone else. So if you aren't
(07:30):
prepped enough to serve someone other thanyourself, then you definitely shouldn't be dating
to begin with, you know whatI mean. So if someone who I
can see can't even serve anything beyondthemselves and then they tell me their price
because of all the accomplishments and whatever, you know, self validating things they've
got going on, then that forme is not a price because it's like,
(07:53):
okay, so I have to provemyself to you, and then on
top of that, I've got toshow you like what I bring to the
table. But how are you goingto behave with me? Are you actually
going to value what I bring tothe table? Are you going to appreciate
what I bring to the table.Are you going to appreciate my service to
you? You probably aren't, becausein your head you're the pride. So
that for me is where I woulddraw the line. If I don't see
(08:16):
that kind of character in someone,then I you know, then the term
prize kind of just goes up thewindow. Yo, listen, man.
In other words, where you saidif you sliding in a DRM, it
ways it rains we immediately I'm hearingwhat you're picking, what you're putting down.
(08:37):
I do want to say that Ifeel like a lot of times when
when men and women integrate with eachother like it's it's it's it's amazing,
it's amazing bonding. But at thesame time, it's one of those things
(08:58):
where I feel like a lot oftimes like people are not mature enough to
actually feel like they could they understandwhat they're going into and they understand what
they're bringing to the table. Likesometimes, bitch, I'm the table.
You feel me? Okay? Firstof all, first ma'am, I'm built
like what okay for you? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
(09:20):
But at the same time, it'sjust one of those things where it's
like you have to understand what you'rebringing to the table versus what is already
at the table. And I dofeel like some people are a little egotistical
in terms of what more than theybring versus what more is already there per
(09:43):
se. And with that being said, is just it's it's hard, it's
it's it's a hard thin line whereboth parties have to kind of resolve with
each other. Whereas this kind oflike a I bring this to the table.
I brought this to the table,We've brought we both brought this all
(10:05):
to the table. Let's make thiswork. Well, yeah, there's a
sense of humility that has you know, you you you have to be humble
enough to know, like, uh, you know what, appreciate what the
other person can bring to the tablethat maybe you yourself have never been able
to do, you know, onyour own. And there's appreciation for the
(10:28):
differences of thought process and you know, obviously fundamentally you definitely have to have
like the same like moralities and goals. You know, not everything to the
teeth, but you know, generallyyour guys are pretty much on the same
boat. That's pretty much the onlyway that that kind of that phrase would
really work for someone. I mean, I've seen people who are both alphas
(10:50):
and male and female and they workwonderfully together. Where you know, societal
norms, it's usually like some usa woman alpha man or vice versa,
you know what I mean. SoI definitely think it just comes down to
like the individual themselves and how humblethey choose to be in terms of,
(11:13):
you know, what the other persondoes bring to the table, but also
being confident in the own selves knowingthat they too have things on the table
and bring things to the table thatcould compliment the other person. God,
I feel like she's running for office. Anna, hold you, I gonna
lie. I feel like she's eitherpart of Michelle Obama's book club or Oprah's
(11:35):
I don't know. But listen,listen, We're gonna double We're gonna triple
up the next one. Okay,listen, I'm gonna tell you this real
quick. What are the financial expectationsand norms in dating today? So we're
gonna get into it. We're notgonna We're gonna go past the buzzer people
(11:58):
and then we're gonna get into thetopic. I feel like this, this
is a very intriguing and entertaining engagingtopic just because of the fact that I
feel like the dating norms when youcome into a relationship are very different when
(12:18):
it comes down to what the maleand the females aren't expecting, you know
what I mean? For example,like you know what I mean. Like,
guys, if you're talking to afemale and the whole idea is it's
like, you know, you wantto you want to make her seem like
she's valued. Like Nope, notseem okay, you wanted to make it
make her feel that she's valued.Now my whole thing is just like,
(12:43):
now do you have to spend thebag on her like all the time,
like say, for instance, thatshe's she's saving up for a car,
or she's saving up for a bagor et cetera, et cetera. But
then again it's just like you havegoals too, but it don't matter her
because she's the prize. Like shesaid, so like you know what I
(13:05):
mean, She's the prize. Sotherefore to considering that she's a prize,
you have to make her feel valuedthat she's the prize. So my thing
is just like, what are thewhat are the financial expectations? In norms
and dating today. Well, ifwe're going off of what you said,
(13:26):
I'd say, first of all,if a woman is in that position,
in that position, you honestly shouldn'tbe dating. I mean because talk,
I talk, talk, I talk. So here's my take on it.
Like I wouldn't go out somewhere thatI knew I couldn't afford and then ask
(13:48):
a man to take me there,you know what I mean, like,
because I just don't know what kindof man I'm going to do. I
just don't know what kind of manI'm going to be uh walking into,
you know, like if we decidedto go on a day we want to
get to know each other, forall I know. You know, he
could get pissed, walk off andsay I'm gonna leave the bill to you.
(14:09):
You gotta be able to afford that, right, because it's a meal
for two. So if you're gonnaput that responsibility on him, you've got
to be ready to like bill,Yeah, okay, right, you know,
and even then, like I'm notsaying don't because honestly, if a
man you know, requires me topay fifty of the bill, and we'll
(14:30):
be like, okay, I willglad they pay the fifty of the bill.
But that's not the kind of manI'm looking for. That would to
me, would be like more ofa fifty to fifty kind of guy.
I'm not with that because I knowthe kind of life style I want to
live. So I think it comesdown to who that person is and who
you are as an individual. Ifit compliments you, great, If it
doesn't, then don't. I canrespect that, I can expect that I'm
(14:56):
with you or that. I justfeel like the expectations for a male is
so much higher than for a female, Like you know, I mean,
because it's like for the financial part, it's just because you know, males
are providers, right, so thereforeit's it's like you're expecting the male to
provide everything, right, and wegotta do this, you gotta do that,
you gotta do this, you gottado that, right, And I
think that's true. I will definitelyagree with you the financial like portion of
(15:20):
things, like as a society,we definitely expect the males to be the
ones to provide. But like again, I think it all just comes down
to the kind of individual that youare, because for I've also seen women
who don't really require much of aman even financially. Then they go and
get married, have kids together,and now they're doing fifty to fifty.
(15:43):
But really it's more like twenty fiveseventy five, where she's also bringing money
to the table, also paying highfor the bills, and then she's got
the entire responsibility of taking care ofthe children. That to me, doesn't
work unless he's gonna be a manwho's gonna like be more manly than you
as a woman and definitely provide inthat sense and expect you to do fifty
to fifty. He'd better be readyto do fifty to fifty with the kids
(16:07):
too. If you guys, chooseto have kids, you know, Yo,
listen, man, I feel likeshe got a knock on her.
So I'm gonna go to the nextI'm gonna go to the next one,
guys, because I feel like shegot it on her, Like she's like,
yo, I swift forul lord.If this dude do not come with
a bit like yo, listen,Okay, let me ask you this,
is it respectable slash reasonable for aman to require fifty to fifty fifty to
(16:30):
fifty in a relationship. It depends, like I feel like you know what
I mean. Every every situation isdependable. And once again, guys,
I don't know what your financial statusis. You might be yo, listen,
listen. If you got Oprah,Hey listen, hey, gap is
(16:52):
on you big dog, like youknow what I mean, you made it.
But at the same time, youknow you ain't gonna go fifty to
fifty with Oprah. No, youknow you ain't gonna you know, you're
not gonna go fifty to fifty withsomebody that is more in a financially better
situation than you, because it's notideal. However, I do feel that
(17:15):
fifty to fifty it does create moreof a of a bonding experience where it's
just like this is like, yo, listen, you got this, I
got that, you got this,you got that, like you know what
I mean. So I feel likethere's fifty to fifty in a sense of
financial and then there's fifty to fiftyin a sense like yo, babe,
(17:36):
don't worry about that. Like ifI'm a better cook, I'll cook at
the crib. If if you know, if you're the handy person, you
do the handy shit, you knowwhat I mean. I feel like there's
an equal balance in that you knowwhat I mean exactly, That's what I
was saying earlier. Like I've evenseen two people who are like both alphas,
and they make it work because theykind of understand each other in that
(17:59):
sense, you know, So ifsomeone can't get it in this area,
the other person's got it and theyjust kind of, you know, compliment
each other like I was saying earlier. And that works. But if you're
not, you know, a submissiveperson, or you are a submissive woman,
and then you have a man who'sfifty fifty, you're going to be
you're not going to have the timeof your life's submissive. Yeah, that's
(18:26):
what That's all she wants to say. No, that's not what I just
wanted to say. Save No,I'm just saying, like, for you
to be a person who requires fiftyfifty, I'm not going to say it's
like you're not a respectable man forrequiring it. You just have to be
willing to accept like the the highsand loads of it. A woman who's
(18:49):
fifty to fifty, you're not gettinga submissive woman. You're getting a masculine
woman who's one hundred ten percent goingto put her input on things. It's
not just gonna be your way thehighway. She might not want as many
kids, so, you know,because she's gonna be like, wait,
what do you mean you want fivekids? Like, I got a business
to run. You're not gonna holdme down with five kids? And then
(19:10):
tell me yeah. In other words, guys, you got no, it's
not that, but you get whatI'm saying, Like, you have to
really know yourself in terms of likechoosing a fifty to fifty lifestyle. You
know, I got listen, guys, ladies, take these notes. These
(19:33):
are bars. These are real bigbars. Let me ask you this,
what role does financial transparency play inthe early stages of dating. You gotta
go first on this one, okay. Well, for starters, financial transparency
definitely sets the tone and definitely providesclarity for both individuals. You know,
(19:56):
if you're a person who's like upand come, or you know, you're
trying in the middle of starting yourown business, so you can't afford to
like spend a lot of money becauseyou're trying to build yourself, you know,
that's definitely something to bring to thetable. And I think that would
definitely play a role in how thatperson chooses to I don't want to say
(20:18):
behave, but like chooses to interactwith you. Somebody might run away from
that because oh, he's not aprovider or you know, thinking from a
woman's point of view, and othersmight be like, Okay, this is
a man who's working on himself,Like, let me see where it goes.
If things actually, you know,work out between us, then maybe
I can be of you know,service in some way to help this guy.
(20:41):
Like I actually was talking to uhone of our friends, and he
was talking about how his partner,like he can confidently and proudly say that
she is one hundred percent his partnerbecause he's been having this business and when
he first started dating her, hetold her, listen, like I really
cannot for you much right now becauseI am up in the making. This
(21:03):
is where I'm investing my money rightnow. Because she she was good that
he was upfront about it, andshe's even helped and built his business.
Now they're working together and they're they'reliving their life. So okay. So
like, so now that you saythat, now you say that, like,
what what mental capacity does that otherperson have to have? Because you
(21:25):
know what I mean, because alot of things is like this. A
lot of people coming back, goingback to our previous questions, a lot
of people want to feel valued.And now that you tell this person,
hey, this is what I gotgoing on, this is what I'm doing,
this is what I can't provide,this is what I can't provide,
not saying that you can't or likeyou say, like all right, cool,
(21:45):
like yo, I can only dolike two or three days or like
this and this and I we coulddo two days a month or something like
that. A lot of people maymaybe we stand offish, like how would
you to the people out there?How would you support be supportive and at
(22:07):
the same time be hold standards toyour own values. Well, for starters,
I would definitely analyze the man.If he's telling me I'm up in
the making and coming and then he'srequiring me to fund his business and figure
it out, I'm one going toback off because that's just a man who's
trying to use you as a steppingstone to build himself up to the top.
(22:32):
Now, if he's telling me thisis what I'm investing. Now,
if a man tells me like,look, this is what I'm investing,
this is all I can give youat the moment, and he gives me
that opportunity to like see what he'sdoing still, and even though he's got
his money invested elsewhere, is stillshowing me that he wants to put me
(22:55):
as a priority. Then then I'mI'm going to be open to being supportive
of that because he's not using meas a stepping zone. He's just telling
me, listen, I'm taking careof what I need to take care of,
but I'm still willing to put ina little extra effort just for you.
You know that's different, guys,man, Like you know what I
(23:18):
mean, Like it's it's crazy,it's crazy. But these are bars,
people, these are bars, LikeOkay, let me okay, this is
rapid fire, rapid fire. We'regonna go off of this on really quick.
Can a fifty to fifty man ora woman still be generous to a
man or woman in some cases?Yes, hey, if you want to
(23:47):
get into it. No, no, no, no, Like ok yeah,
I feel like you know what Imean, Like in this situation,
people, the fifty to fifty personcould could always be generous, Like you
know what I mean. You gottathink about it. People, like what
with my generosity. It's it's upto the other person to determine how significant
(24:08):
that generosity is, right, youknow what I mean, Because it's like
kind of like if I'm like this, like, Yo, she want to
go get a hair and nails done, and I'm like, Yo, here,
here's somebody to go get your heelsthere done, nails done. And
I don't know New York her Ohshit, damn, this is crazy.
(24:33):
He said to me to New Yorkto get my hair and nails done.
Somebody else a local person might belike, yo, just go to I'm
not gonna do that. I'm notgonna do this. I'm not gonna do
this. Like but I'm not gonnado this. I'm not gonna do this.
But a local person will be like, Yo, just go to that
spot down the spot down the road, down the road. You know what
I mean. Shout out to chawSo you know what I mean. I
(24:56):
think, don't do that, don'tdo that, don't do that. All
things like this, you know whatI mean, Shout out to you guys.
But my thing is just like this, Like it's a different generosity.
Right. I could send you ona whole like trip and you'd be like,
oh my god, bitch, Ihit this jack but here. So
here's the thing that all comes downto the person's humility and if they're truly
(25:21):
trying to be a person of service. That's what I was trying to get
at at the beginning. It's youcan be fifty to fifty and generous if
you are a person who's going intothe mentality of having a relationship where you
know that you can be of serviceto the other person, not what's in
it for me, Because if youdo fifty to fifty thinking what's in it
for me, okay, you're onehundred percent just going to be like okay,
(25:42):
like this is what I can do, and like it's all become going
to become transactional once it becomes transactional, like but okay, all right.
A lot of relationships are transactional.Not yeah, a lot of relationships are
transactional. A lot of relationships arelike, Okay, I did this for
you, now you gotta do thisfor me. You know what I mean.
But okay. It does not makeit right. But a lot of
(26:04):
people had that mind, that mindin that concept of being like Okay,
I got him a placeation five yougotta do something better. You see what
I'm saying. Okay, then,okay, listen, listen before we go
people, anything toxic or positive,you guys to say, no, you
(26:26):
know I'm always gonna choose positive.Yeah, no, toxicity, guys,
don't do that. Catch on theweekends. Okay, first of all,
anyways, we won't even address that, because again, positivity, guys,
positive message. Work on yourself aslong as you need to, until you
(26:48):
know that you can be of serviceto someone else other than yourself, because
then and only then will you bevery selective of who you choose to be
in your life, not based onwhat they can to the table, but
based on what type of person youwould like to be of service too.
And that's just more of like thehumble end, not the prideful end.
(27:08):
And eventually you'll see that you're gonnachoose somebody that you know will value what
you bring to the table, whichis what you're looking for. Everyone is
guys. You guys know, Igotta be toxic. I gotta be don't
do that. Don't do that.I said, you're gonna make me look
(27:32):
bad today. Thanks. I shouldhave just said the toxic stuff so I
could be positive. You could bepositive. I know I'm gonna do a
little bit of it. Listen,people, a little bit of words of
wisdom before I go. People,my broke ass got the nerve to tell
(27:55):
people hit me up if you needanything, y'all listen, I got no
reason. I got no business tellingpeople that. God more the story,
(28:15):
people, fellas. If you're givinga female money and you ain't hitting,
you're dating a parlay. I wantto let I want you to let that
sit in. You're dating a parlay. Guys, man, I want to
(28:36):
say you guys walking out with usfor another episode of Beings Consequences off the
books. We got rolls of thebuilding. How can they reach you?
What do you mean how can theyreach me? Okay, you can't reach
at all. You gonna see that, you're gonna see her tag at the
bottom. Okay, guys, buttil next time, man, salutations,
(28:56):
Chip, of course, get thefuck out. It were from where you from?
Of y Day McLaughlin. I'm RyanRue, I'm DJ Rich iceis the tough
f I'm Clinny Martinez and we arethe hosts of Opinions and Consequences, the
podcast, the show where Europeans canlead to consequences. So choose your words
wisely, enjoy the show. Chiff, Yo, what's going on? People?
(00:28):
Men? Welcome back to another episodeof Openings Consequences Off the Books.
You guys know this is the condensed, shortened version of the full episode.
Guys, you gotta already know.This is the thought provoking, sometimes controversial,
but always entertaining show. Guys,I got a guest of the building.
(00:49):
I want to welcome Rose back intothe building. What's Poppy? It's
good? What's good? Bam?Are you doing? Everything is good?
As the summer, Ben, let'sjust getting started. Okay, Okay,
I know I know how Boston is. Boston summer is very very late.
(01:10):
People like you know what I mean. I don't know if people have been
up to the northeast, but oursummer starts kind of like in June,
late June, August definitely. Yeah, we're like late June July. What's
what? Let me ask you thiswhat's your favorite season like being up in
here, like besides summertime? Okay, definitely early fall, early fall,
(01:33):
early fall. It's not raining,it's not crazy. I get to wear
like my cozy, cute outfits andlike you like a sweater like, yes,
the sweater the stars. You getto wear a lot of accessories a
female, what do you mean neccessorieslike series? You get to wear the
cute hats, the cutey your fashionablejacket with Yeah, it makes your whole
(01:57):
outfit. I can make cute andand feel good. So like, do
you prefer follow over summer? Hm? Like, I know you get to
show skin, you get to dothe whole Like Hi, I know you
get to show and start getting itout. Come back to that. We're
(02:21):
gonna come back to that, allright, listen really quick, listen,
We're gonna get right into the show. Guys. First question, I know
this is your question. Can menbe the prize during dating phase? Is
this a reasonable or healthy dynamic tohave between potential suitors? Listen, people,
(02:47):
I'm gonna start this off. I'mgonna get right into my back people.
I think both parties can be prizes. I do think that depend on
on what you deem is the prizeis going to it's going to make you
(03:07):
understand if that person is the prizeor not the prize for you, you
know what I mean? My thingis just like you know, I feel
like a lot of us, alot of us have this misconception, misconception
on certain people being a prize ina relationship where it's it's kind of like
(03:30):
yo, this is the girl orthis is the guy. But I feel
like everybody has their thing that theybring to the table, right, you
know what I mean? Yeah,I don't know what you got to said
with that, So I'll tell youfrom like me being a woman in my
(03:50):
perspective, Okay, here we go. You have to be a very specific
type of man to tell me thatyou were the prize. If a man,
any man just tells me they're prize, and I don't see like the
the you know, the merits thatyou bring to the table. There's no
second day. Like I'll just Godbe with you, bless you. You're
(04:11):
going to go yep, And I'lltell you why. Because women preach about
being the prize. Right. You'veseen like a lot of videos on social
media that kind of stuff. We'remore of an emotional creatures. When we
say that kind of stuff, we'retrying to learn to self validate. We're
trying to say, you know what, I've got to raise myself to a
(04:32):
higher standard. I've got to raisemy value. You know, a man
should be putting more effort into it. And if you guys are truly interested
in a woman, you one hundredand ten percent will put much more effort
into it than a woman that youguys aren't really all that interested in to
begin with. So here's that,right, And then you have the guy
(04:55):
saying that he's the guy who's sayingthat he's the prize. You guys operate,
not that you're not emotional creatures,but you guys operate more on your
pride and ego. So if Ihear a man say I'm the prize,
it's not because he's trying to selfvalidate. It's because he's looking for external
validation. I would say, andI'm not saying that's everyone, you know,
(05:17):
like a guy who says that wouldstrike me more as a guy who
just wants someone to stroke his ego, And therefore for me it would be
like, okay, so now I'mhaving to prove myself to you because you
are the prize. If that makesso listen, I'm a capital view.
(05:39):
I'm picking up what she's putting down. People, I'm picking up what she's
putting down. However I do.Okay, So guys, if you guys
are coming off as you're saying you'rethe prize, okay, you guys gotta
put that back in the show becausemy thing is like this is like I
feel like I feel like a lotof us and I'm talking to you gentlemen.
(06:02):
We have to let the other persondeem us as being a prized you
know what I mean. It's it'sit's one of those things where I feel
like a lot of us. Wejump out in females too, where you're
like feel like, yeah, I'mthat, I'm I'm all what you need.
(06:23):
Yeah, I'm all what you need. Yeah, go ahead, do
it, do it time, allwhat you need? Yes, yes,
yeah, well yes, I'm notsaying there There isn't any like outliers when
it comes to like the women.But usually when you hear women preach that
it's it's more about learning to selfout it because the majority of us tend
(06:45):
to settle for less than we deservejust because like the guy, if that
makes sense, which you are toa certain extent where it's just like you
know, I feel like I don'tfeel like a lot of us are in
it to get less. I feellike we have to understand our values,
like you know what I mean.So for me, if I would see
(07:09):
something you know like that, Butyeah, so ahead, go ahead,
man, I think I'm learning inmy in my own personal life, you
have to remember that relationships are toserve someone else. So if you aren't
(07:30):
prepped enough to serve someone other thanyourself, then you definitely shouldn't be dating
to begin with, you know whatI mean. So if someone who I
can see can't even serve anything beyondthemselves and then they tell me their price
because of all the accomplishments and whatever, you know, self validating things they've
got going on, then that forme is not a price because it's like,
(07:53):
okay, so I have to provemyself to you, and then on
top of that, I've got toshow you like what I bring to the
table. But how are you goingto behave with me? Are you actually
going to value what I bring tothe table? Are you going to appreciate
what I bring to the table.Are you going to appreciate my service to
you? You probably aren't, becausein your head you're the pride. So
that for me is where I woulddraw the line. If I don't see
(08:16):
that kind of character in someone,then I you know, then the term
prize kind of just goes up thewindow. Yo, listen, man.
In other words, where you saidif you sliding in a DRM, it
ways it rains we immediately I'm hearingwhat you're picking, what you're putting down.
(08:37):
I do want to say that Ifeel like a lot of times when
when men and women integrate with eachother like it's it's it's it's amazing,
it's amazing bonding. But at thesame time, it's one of those things
(08:58):
where I feel like a lot oftimes like people are not mature enough to
actually feel like they could they understandwhat they're going into and they understand what
they're bringing to the table. Likesometimes, bitch, I'm the table.
You feel me? Okay? Firstof all, first ma'am, I'm built
like what okay for you? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
(09:20):
But at the same time, it'sjust one of those things where it's
like you have to understand what you'rebringing to the table versus what is already
at the table. And I dofeel like some people are a little egotistical
in terms of what more than theybring versus what more is already there per
(09:43):
se. And with that being said, is just it's it's hard, it's
it's it's a hard thin line whereboth parties have to kind of resolve with
each other. Whereas this kind oflike a I bring this to the table.
I brought this to the table,We've brought we both brought this all
(10:05):
to the table. Let's make thiswork. Well, yeah, there's a
sense of humility that has you know, you you you have to be humble
enough to know, like, uh, you know what, appreciate what the
other person can bring to the tablethat maybe you yourself have never been able
to do, you know, onyour own. And there's appreciation for the
(10:28):
differences of thought process and you know, obviously fundamentally you definitely have to have
like the same like moralities and goals. You know, not everything to the
teeth, but you know, generallyyour guys are pretty much on the same
boat. That's pretty much the onlyway that that kind of that phrase would
really work for someone. I mean, I've seen people who are both alphas
(10:50):
and male and female and they workwonderfully together. Where you know, societal
norms, it's usually like some usa woman alpha man or vice versa,
you know what I mean. SoI definitely think it just comes down to
like the individual themselves and how humblethey choose to be in terms of,
(11:13):
you know, what the other persondoes bring to the table, but also
being confident in the own selves knowingthat they too have things on the table
and bring things to the table thatcould compliment the other person. God,
I feel like she's running for office. Anna, hold you, I gonna
lie. I feel like she's eitherpart of Michelle Obama's book club or Oprah's
(11:35):
I don't know. But listen,listen, We're gonna double We're gonna triple
up the next one. Okay,listen, I'm gonna tell you this real
quick. What are the financial expectationsand norms in dating today? So we're
gonna get into it. We're notgonna We're gonna go past the buzzer people
(11:58):
and then we're gonna get into thetopic. I feel like this, this
is a very intriguing and entertaining engagingtopic just because of the fact that I
feel like the dating norms when youcome into a relationship are very different when
(12:18):
it comes down to what the maleand the females aren't expecting, you know
what I mean? For example,like you know what I mean. Like,
guys, if you're talking to afemale and the whole idea is it's
like, you know, you wantto you want to make her seem like
she's valued. Like Nope, notseem okay, you wanted to make it
make her feel that she's valued.Now my whole thing is just like,
(12:43):
now do you have to spend thebag on her like all the time,
like say, for instance, thatshe's she's saving up for a car,
or she's saving up for a bagor et cetera, et cetera. But
then again it's just like you havegoals too, but it don't matter her
because she's the prize. Like shesaid, so like you know what I
(13:05):
mean, She's the prize. Sotherefore to considering that she's a prize,
you have to make her feel valuedthat she's the prize. So my thing
is just like, what are thewhat are the financial expectations? In norms
and dating today. Well, ifwe're going off of what you said,
(13:26):
I'd say, first of all,if a woman is in that position,
in that position, you honestly shouldn'tbe dating. I mean because talk,
I talk, talk, I talk. So here's my take on it.
Like I wouldn't go out somewhere thatI knew I couldn't afford and then ask
(13:48):
a man to take me there,you know what I mean, like,
because I just don't know what kindof man I'm going to do. I
just don't know what kind of manI'm going to be uh walking into,
you know, like if we decidedto go on a day we want to
get to know each other, forall I know. You know, he
could get pissed, walk off andsay I'm gonna leave the bill to you.
(14:09):
You gotta be able to afford that, right, because it's a meal
for two. So if you're gonnaput that responsibility on him, you've got
to be ready to like bill,Yeah, okay, right, you know,
and even then, like I'm notsaying don't because honestly, if a
man you know, requires me topay fifty of the bill, and we'll
(14:30):
be like, okay, I willglad they pay the fifty of the bill.
But that's not the kind of manI'm looking for. That would to
me, would be like more ofa fifty to fifty kind of guy.
I'm not with that because I knowthe kind of life style I want to
live. So I think it comesdown to who that person is and who
you are as an individual. Ifit compliments you, great, If it
doesn't, then don't. I canrespect that, I can expect that I'm
(14:56):
with you or that. I justfeel like the expectations for a male is
so much higher than for a female, Like you know, I mean,
because it's like for the financial part, it's just because you know, males
are providers, right, so thereforeit's it's like you're expecting the male to
provide everything, right, and wegotta do this, you gotta do that,
you gotta do this, you gottado that, right, And I
think that's true. I will definitelyagree with you the financial like portion of
(15:20):
things, like as a society,we definitely expect the males to be the
ones to provide. But like again, I think it all just comes down
to the kind of individual that youare, because for I've also seen women
who don't really require much of aman even financially. Then they go and
get married, have kids together,and now they're doing fifty to fifty.
(15:43):
But really it's more like twenty fiveseventy five, where she's also bringing money
to the table, also paying highfor the bills, and then she's got
the entire responsibility of taking care ofthe children. That to me, doesn't
work unless he's gonna be a manwho's gonna like be more manly than you
as a woman and definitely provide inthat sense and expect you to do fifty
to fifty. He'd better be readyto do fifty to fifty with the kids
(16:07):
too. If you guys, chooseto have kids, you know, Yo,
listen, man, I feel likeshe got a knock on her.
So I'm gonna go to the nextI'm gonna go to the next one,
guys, because I feel like shegot it on her, Like she's like,
yo, I swift forul lord.If this dude do not come with
a bit like yo, listen,Okay, let me ask you this,
is it respectable slash reasonable for aman to require fifty to fifty fifty to
(16:30):
fifty in a relationship. It depends, like I feel like you know what
I mean. Every every situation isdependable. And once again, guys,
I don't know what your financial statusis. You might be yo, listen,
listen. If you got Oprah,Hey listen, hey, gap is
(16:52):
on you big dog, like youknow what I mean, you made it.
But at the same time, youknow you ain't gonna go fifty to
fifty with Oprah. No, youknow you ain't gonna you know, you're
not gonna go fifty to fifty withsomebody that is more in a financially better
situation than you, because it's notideal. However, I do feel that
(17:15):
fifty to fifty it does create moreof a of a bonding experience where it's
just like this is like, yo, listen, you got this, I
got that, you got this,you got that, like you know what
I mean. So I feel likethere's fifty to fifty in a sense of
financial and then there's fifty to fiftyin a sense like yo, babe,
(17:36):
don't worry about that. Like ifI'm a better cook, I'll cook at
the crib. If if you know, if you're the handy person, you
do the handy shit, you knowwhat I mean. I feel like there's
an equal balance in that you knowwhat I mean exactly, That's what I
was saying earlier. Like I've evenseen two people who are like both alphas,
and they make it work because theykind of understand each other in that
(17:59):
sense, you know, So ifsomeone can't get it in this area,
the other person's got it and theyjust kind of, you know, compliment
each other like I was saying earlier. And that works. But if you're
not, you know, a submissiveperson, or you are a submissive woman,
and then you have a man who'sfifty fifty, you're going to be
you're not going to have the timeof your life's submissive. Yeah, that's
(18:26):
what That's all she wants to say. No, that's not what I just
wanted to say. Save No,I'm just saying, like, for you
to be a person who requires fiftyfifty, I'm not going to say it's
like you're not a respectable man forrequiring it. You just have to be
willing to accept like the the highsand loads of it. A woman who's
(18:49):
fifty to fifty, you're not gettinga submissive woman. You're getting a masculine
woman who's one hundred ten percent goingto put her input on things. It's
not just gonna be your way thehighway. She might not want as many
kids, so, you know,because she's gonna be like, wait,
what do you mean you want fivekids? Like, I got a business
to run. You're not gonna holdme down with five kids? And then
(19:10):
tell me yeah. In other words, guys, you got no, it's
not that, but you get whatI'm saying, Like, you have to
really know yourself in terms of likechoosing a fifty to fifty lifestyle. You
know, I got listen, guys, ladies, take these notes. These
(19:33):
are bars. These are real bigbars. Let me ask you this,
what role does financial transparency play inthe early stages of dating. You gotta
go first on this one, okay. Well, for starters, financial transparency
definitely sets the tone and definitely providesclarity for both individuals. You know,
(19:56):
if you're a person who's like upand come, or you know, you're
trying in the middle of starting yourown business, so you can't afford to
like spend a lot of money becauseyou're trying to build yourself, you know,
that's definitely something to bring to thetable. And I think that would
definitely play a role in how thatperson chooses to I don't want to say
(20:18):
behave, but like chooses to interactwith you. Somebody might run away from
that because oh, he's not aprovider or you know, thinking from a
woman's point of view, and othersmight be like, Okay, this is
a man who's working on himself,Like, let me see where it goes.
If things actually, you know,work out between us, then maybe
I can be of you know,service in some way to help this guy.
(20:41):
Like I actually was talking to uhone of our friends, and he
was talking about how his partner,like he can confidently and proudly say that
she is one hundred percent his partnerbecause he's been having this business and when
he first started dating her, hetold her, listen, like I really
cannot for you much right now becauseI am up in the making. This
(21:03):
is where I'm investing my money rightnow. Because she she was good that
he was upfront about it, andshe's even helped and built his business.
Now they're working together and they're they'reliving their life. So okay. So
like, so now that you saythat, now you say that, like,
what what mental capacity does that otherperson have to have? Because you
(21:25):
know what I mean, because alot of things is like this. A
lot of people coming back, goingback to our previous questions, a lot
of people want to feel valued.And now that you tell this person,
hey, this is what I gotgoing on, this is what I'm doing,
this is what I can't provide,this is what I can't provide,
not saying that you can't or likeyou say, like all right, cool,
(21:45):
like yo, I can only dolike two or three days or like
this and this and I we coulddo two days a month or something like
that. A lot of people maymaybe we stand offish, like how would
you to the people out there?How would you support be supportive and at
(22:07):
the same time be hold standards toyour own values. Well, for starters,
I would definitely analyze the man.If he's telling me I'm up in
the making and coming and then he'srequiring me to fund his business and figure
it out, I'm one going toback off because that's just a man who's
trying to use you as a steppingstone to build himself up to the top.
(22:32):
Now, if he's telling me thisis what I'm investing. Now,
if a man tells me like,look, this is what I'm investing,
this is all I can give youat the moment, and he gives me
that opportunity to like see what he'sdoing still, and even though he's got
his money invested elsewhere, is stillshowing me that he wants to put me
(22:55):
as a priority. Then then I'mI'm going to be open to being supportive
of that because he's not using meas a stepping zone. He's just telling
me, listen, I'm taking careof what I need to take care of,
but I'm still willing to put ina little extra effort just for you.
You know that's different, guys,man, Like you know what I
(23:18):
mean, Like it's it's crazy,it's crazy. But these are bars,
people, these are bars, LikeOkay, let me okay, this is
rapid fire, rapid fire. We'regonna go off of this on really quick.
Can a fifty to fifty man ora woman still be generous to a
man or woman in some cases?Yes, hey, if you want to
(23:47):
get into it. No, no, no, no, Like ok yeah,
I feel like you know what Imean, Like in this situation,
people, the fifty to fifty personcould could always be generous, Like you
know what I mean. You gottathink about it. People, like what
with my generosity. It's it's upto the other person to determine how significant
(24:08):
that generosity is, right, youknow what I mean, Because it's like
kind of like if I'm like this, like, Yo, she want to
go get a hair and nails done, and I'm like, Yo, here,
here's somebody to go get your heelsthere done, nails done. And
I don't know New York her Ohshit, damn, this is crazy.
(24:33):
He said to me to New Yorkto get my hair and nails done.
Somebody else a local person might belike, yo, just go to I'm
not gonna do that. I'm notgonna do this. I'm not gonna do
this. Like but I'm not gonnado this. I'm not gonna do this.
But a local person will be like, Yo, just go to that
spot down the spot down the road, down the road. You know what
I mean. Shout out to chawSo you know what I mean. I
(24:56):
think, don't do that, don'tdo that, don't do that. All
things like this, you know whatI mean, Shout out to you guys.
But my thing is just like this, Like it's a different generosity.
Right. I could send you ona whole like trip and you'd be like,
oh my god, bitch, Ihit this jack but here. So
here's the thing that all comes downto the person's humility and if they're truly
(25:21):
trying to be a person of service. That's what I was trying to get
at at the beginning. It's youcan be fifty to fifty and generous if
you are a person who's going intothe mentality of having a relationship where you
know that you can be of serviceto the other person, not what's in
it for me, Because if youdo fifty to fifty thinking what's in it
for me, okay, you're onehundred percent just going to be like okay,
(25:42):
like this is what I can do, and like it's all become going
to become transactional once it becomes transactional, like but okay, all right.
A lot of relationships are transactional.Not yeah, a lot of relationships are
transactional. A lot of relationships arelike, Okay, I did this for
you, now you gotta do thisfor me. You know what I mean.
But okay. It does not makeit right. But a lot of
(26:04):
people had that mind, that mindin that concept of being like Okay,
I got him a placeation five yougotta do something better. You see what
I'm saying. Okay, then,okay, listen, listen before we go
people, anything toxic or positive,you guys to say, no, you
(26:26):
know I'm always gonna choose positive.Yeah, no, toxicity, guys,
don't do that. Catch on theweekends. Okay, first of all,
anyways, we won't even address that, because again, positivity, guys,
positive message. Work on yourself aslong as you need to, until you
(26:48):
know that you can be of serviceto someone else other than yourself, because
then and only then will you bevery selective of who you choose to be
in your life, not based onwhat they can to the table, but
based on what type of person youwould like to be of service too.
And that's just more of like thehumble end, not the prideful end.
(27:08):
And eventually you'll see that you're gonnachoose somebody that you know will value what
you bring to the table, whichis what you're looking for. Everyone is
guys. You guys know, Igotta be toxic. I gotta be don't
do that. Don't do that.I said, you're gonna make me look
(27:32):
bad today. Thanks. I shouldhave just said the toxic stuff so I
could be positive. You could bepositive. I know I'm gonna do a
little bit of it. Listen,people, a little bit of words of
wisdom before I go. People,my broke ass got the nerve to tell
(27:55):
people hit me up if you needanything, y'all listen, I got no
reason. I got no business tellingpeople that. God more the story,
(28:15):
people, fellas. If you're givinga female money and you ain't hitting,
you're dating a parlay. I wantto let I want you to let that
sit in. You're dating a parlay. Guys, man, I want to
(28:36):
say you guys walking out with usfor another episode of Beings Consequences off the
books. We got rolls of thebuilding. How can they reach you?
What do you mean how can theyreach me? Okay, you can't reach
at all. You gonna see that, you're gonna see her tag at the
bottom. Okay, guys, buttil next time, man, salutations,
(28:56):
Chip, of course, get thefuck out. It were from where you from?
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