December 18, 2023 • 29 mins
Get ready for a wild ride with AJ @ajandhisbackpack and the fabulous Rose @irreplaceable_Rodriguez! They're back, stirring the pot with juicy discussions like: Does tying the knot spice things up or cool them down? Prenups – yay or nay? Is the classic marriage deal a drag or a delight in the wild world of 2023-24? Buckle up and join the fun – you won't want to miss a beat! Tune in, vibe out, and let the good times roll!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Of Hey, Jay McLaughlin, I'mRyan Rue, I'm DJ Rich the Tough
for I'm Plinny Martinez, and weare the hosts of Opinions and Consequences,
the podcast, the show where Europeanscan lead to consequences. So choose your
where's wise looks Join the show.Hey, hey, hey, hey,
(00:23):
hey, hey, hey, heyhey hey, guys, guess what man.
Welcome back to another episode of thePens Consequences off the books people.
You already goes, You guys alreadyknow. This is a short and condensed
version of the original show, thecontroversial, sometimes start provoking show where you
(00:45):
know, we get right into themeat and potatoes. Guys, guess what
we got? Rolls back in thebuilding. What's Goody Roles right shot,
Like, yo, she made mefeel like Jehovah witnesses now Like he's like,
hi, oh, I'm not sure. Over the door, like yo,
(01:07):
you definitely gave me the high Likeuh no, I don't want to
payph it Like you definitely just didthat right now. She's like, listen,
I was just waiting for you togive me the room, give me
the okay, you know that windowI can say, hi, Okay,
what's up? Everybody. How areyou doing, I'm chilling, I'm good.
(01:33):
How was the Thanksgiving? What?What is what is phenomenal for you?
Like? Is it? Does thatmean like no fights? There's no
there's nobody that ended up in jail. You got These are real questions.
He's a real question. I know. I know some family gatherings can be
(01:53):
a little more chaotic than others.Yes, yeah, no, no fights,
no jail time. Eat a lotof food and had a lot of
laughs. I even think karaoke,which, oh, look at you,
okay, don't do that. Wewant to do that. I gotta hide
myself up. But did karaoke?What was the dish of the evening?
(02:15):
Like? What was that one thingthat he was like getting We're going to
get back to this. Listen,man, We're gonna get right into the
meat and potatoes people. I knowyou did have a question, Yes,
good question. Well, what isthe point of marriage anyways? And what
benefits does it bring? And evenjust financials? Oh do you want to
(02:38):
get into that first? Yeah?Sure, so for me, I would
definitely say that the point of marriagewould definitely come with more of like the
commitment perspect of it. I don'tthink it's just the financials, which I
think is what a lot of peoplewould kind of gravitate towards nowadays, just
(03:00):
kind of monetize to the idea ofyou know, marriage and whether or not
it's gonna you know, benefit themin the long run when it comes to
the money. And for me,I'd say, there's just so much more
that comes along with it because you'reyou're committing to someone, You're you're choosing
them over anybody, and you're justkind of making that declaration. Which isn't
(03:23):
to say that you can't possibly dothat with just a simple relationship with no
marriage involved. But I think that'sjust taking it a step further and that
just kind of the for better,for worse part of it. For me,
it's definitely something that I think holdsa lot of value. And I
just say, you know what,for a lot of people nowadays, that
(03:44):
doesn't And I get that, butI don't believe that the value of marriage
is diminished just because people don't valueit the way they should. Okay,
do like you sort of Fortune COOKIor or a magazine. Yeah, she's
an advocate, she's a proud memberof Oprah's book Club. Okay, you
(04:13):
know what, it is an interestingquestion just because I do feel like marriage
can be it is, I guess, the final stepping stone when it comes
down to put an exclamation point onour relationship. However, when it comes
to finances, speaking from a male'sperspective, it doesn't. It doesn't favorite
(04:39):
male does a favorite male? Notto say, not to say that I'm
being biased against any females people,but at the same time, it's this
whole thing that sometimes you know,you just gotta, you know, check
your boxes, whatever the case is. But I agree with that. Oh
no, I know you no,no, because but but you can't.
(05:00):
You can't. You can't disagree withit in terms of you don't know anyone's
everyone's intentions. You're right, youknow what I mean. So I don't
think it's just a male thing.I think it only it doesn't benefit the
person who makes most money. Ifyou're coming from a so you're comfortable with
the prenup. The prenup is whatI'm talking about. If you're not married
(05:23):
with a p if you're married witha prenup, then yeah, you can
protect your finances. But I wouldn'tso go so far as to say that
it benefits. It doesn't benefit men. It just doesn't benefit whoever's making more
money. Okay, okay, okay, that's okay, that's true. Okay,
we're gonna give your little hair class. Well, listen, my whole
thing is like this. My wholething is like this. Are you comfortable
(05:44):
with the fact of going into arelationship or going into a marriage signing a
prenup? So if the finances thatthey have acquired was completely don't know,
you know what I mean, Idon't know, I don't know your culture.
Oh, give me a break,I would say that, uh no,
(06:15):
that's fine. That's why I know, because my own thing is okay,
go ahead. So basically, ifthe if the riches they acquired was
without my help and I had zeroinput in any of that, then sure.
And if it was like some kindof you know, family, you
know thing, then I would say, okay, fine, I'll step beside.
I will sign a prenup for that. But anything that we build together,
(06:38):
I don't care if we were notmarried or or aren't married, I'm
gonna clap you up because okay,fellas, she's looking out for the she's
looking out for the guys. Okay. So females. Okay, I'm gonna
look out for you guys really quick, really quick. Does that mean that
you know, if you sign aprenup, does that mean that you don't
(06:58):
think it's gonna work out? Inalaw, I wouldn't say that you don't
think it's not gonna work out.I would say that's more of like kind
of I guess you can put itthat way. Is the bundle okay,
(07:26):
Yeah, let's call it an insurancepolicy. Oh yeah, you're you're you're
trying to protect anything that you knowwould be of value and would be at
stake if you guys did ever getdivorced, which I'm not completely against.
But again, if we built somethingtogether, I'm definitely not signing a prenup
for that. And if you wantme to sign a prenup, I've got
(07:46):
to have some kind of like inputon it, you know, something that
works fairly for the both of us, because I'm not just gonna willingly sign
something and be like, oh yeah, you know, I'll totally do this.
It's gonna be like, Okay,we're gonna talk to the lawyer.
We're gonna get my perspective, yourperspective, We're gonna get it down on
paper, and we're gonna make surethat neither one of us has any authority
(08:09):
over the other one. It comesto wow, listen, guys. So
in other words, she's reading thefine print. She's reading the fine print.
Okay, okay, let me askyou this, in your opinion,
does marriage hinder or enhance personal andprofessional growth for both men and women?
(08:30):
Let's start with let's start with thepersonal okay, okay, okay. At
the personal level, if you wantto talk, if you want to talk
directly your people, you can talkto them right there and that camera.
All right. Yes, on apersonal level, well, let's just start
with Yes, I do believe marriage. We'll definitely it should make you want
(08:50):
to improve, I mean, wouldyou. Let's think about it as just
as an individual. I mean,at least for me, I would like
to surround myself with people who aregoing to bring the best out of me,
who are going to motivate me,encourage me, hold me up to
a standard home accountable. Why wouldI not want that in the marriage Like
that you're talking about exactly having thatrelationship with someone who's going to be on
(09:16):
a much more intimate level. SoI would definitely require that standard, if
not more when it comes to amarriage. So in my case, yes,
if I'm going to look for marriageand someone, I would definitely look
for those qualities and say, Okay, is this person going to help me
elevate? If that's out of thequestion, then I don't want to marry.
(09:37):
I don't care how much I likeyou, just like that. So
what about the you know, thatwas a personal side, What about the
other side, the professional level.I think that would definitely come in tie
(10:00):
with what I was saying earlier abouthaving that motivation. We don't necessarily have
to have the same vision, butwe should at least at a professional level.
You know, our career interest interestscould definitely be very different, and
that's not necessarily a bad thing.The issue is going to come on whether
(10:20):
or not there will be a compromisefor the life that you were both trying
to acquire that's going to require someoneelse to sacrifice their own career. That
is where I would say it's gonnait's gonna be tricky. It's gonna be
tricky. So again, you reallyhave to be thinking about the person that
you're you're trying to build this lifewith and someone someone someone we needs this
(10:46):
morning. You know, you feelan extra hidden with the really quick I
do think that it's it's it's abalance of both, you know what I
mean. I feel like you knowwhat I mean, Like relationships, you
have to take an L. Youhave to take an L in order to
get a win somewhere else. Youknow. I feel like a lot of
(11:09):
us don't understand the tug of warand relationships, you know what I mean.
It's not about just automatically, youknow, getting the winds all the
time. It does hinder personally,it does hinder professionally, and it does
grow you both personally and professionally aswell too. So I feel like it's
an equal balance where you know,hindering your personal life, you know what
(11:33):
I mean, You're gonna You're goingto lose some of your personal boundaries,
Yep, correct, yep, correct, correct, because now you have to
include somewhere else. Professionally, youmay have to stop and wait till somebody
understands and catch ups to you.Like. So there's a lot of different
aspects. And when it comes downto a marriage, where stuff is going
(11:56):
to be hindered and some is somea is going to be progressed. You
know what I mean. You knowwhat I mean, and I you know,
I don't necessarily see that as aloss, because if there are things
that are going to be hindered,it's because you're shifting from being this individual
person correct correct their own interest versustrying to share that with someone else,
(12:18):
which you know, in the nameof building a life together that's you know,
works for the both of you.I wouldn't say that's necessarily Listen,
man, I'm not gonna lie toyou. May he's out here spitting all.
Okay, listen. I know youhad a question, what's the what
are the different aspects of marriage?Yeah? Yeah, yeah, so there's
(12:43):
what are different aspects of marriage inwhich individuals can grow? Oh yeah,
so honestly, daily living professionally asyou already imagined. Even individually, sometimes
people can feed off of each otherwhen it comes to stir and things like
maybe you were not uh the mostoutgoing person, or you needed like a
(13:05):
push And I'm just saying this ona basic level, but it could be
so many things. No, No, I'm very so. I don't I
don't talk to nobody. Yeah,I guess I can vouch for that,
but yeah, I you know,you come across somebody who does bring you
out of your shell and kind ofbrings another side of you that you didn't
really know was there. Correct,correct, correct. I definitely think that
(13:28):
that's one way that you know,being around someone who you intend to marry,
if again, assuming that you choosesomeone that's right for you, would
definitely be a place where you cangrowl you accountable too. I gotta agree
with that. You know, whenit when it comes down to marriage,
(13:50):
I feel like, you know whatI mean, everything is now. I'm
gonna talk to you guys really quick. So guys, ladies, you know
what I mean right here, righthere. Sometimes when it comes down to
marriages, now, it's like apackage deal, you know what I mean.
You gotta have to join account yougotta do things together. Not saying
it's bad or anything like that,but these are stuff that could help somebody
(14:13):
grow that doesn't know how to saveright or doesn't know how to manage better,
that's not good with you know,shopping, you know what I mean,
There's a lot of things that youcan grow personally by just you know
what I mean. I'm not sayingthat it just has to it has to
be marriage. Of course, twopeople got to be open minded to actually
(14:33):
want it to be do that.But you know, this could be physically,
this could be mentally, this couldbe spiritually, this could be anything
like that where two people can growwithin a marriage, you know what I
mean. But it just it doestake two. It does take to the
tangle. And that's why I saythat, assuming that you choose the right
(14:56):
person, because I find that alot of people tend to jump into the
relationships. But do you think it'sthe right person or do you think that
it's Sometimes it comes down to growth, like you know what I mean?
Because no, because this is whereI had mentioned in the previous podcast.
You you have a responsibility to yourselfto know yourself well enough to say this
(15:18):
person does not align with me oryou know. And I get the aspect
of like, oh, you canoutgross someone, but that's that's you have
to be vigilant of that kind ofstuff because sometimes the signs are there,
you just don't realize it until it'sright in your face. That's right.
So that's where you got to refuseyou And I would say it consistently,
(15:43):
you know what I mean. Mything is like I feel like, I
don't like to say that you're goingto change somebody. I like to say
you influence somebody. Yeah, Ifeel like you know a lot of times,
like you can influence somebody to changetheir ways in terms of being like
a cool Like I influence them tobe much more punctual. I influenced them
to be much more organized, likeyou know what I mean. And it's
(16:07):
a little like guys, you gotto remember this, like it's the little
wins. It's the little wins,Like you know what I mean. A
lot of us always look for thebig wins. It's the little ones.
It's the little ones. But yeah, you know what I mean. I
feel like sometimes, you know,necessarily, like you said, picking the
right person, I don't. Idon't feel like, you know, sometimes
(16:30):
sometimes you can influence people to changetheir ways and become a better person.
No, you can, yes,but I wouldn't. I think you're misinterpreting
what I say when I say theright person. When I say the right
person, I mean they've got tobe someone who like aligns with you on
(16:51):
at least like the both basic Okay, Okay, so like you're talking about
like the foundations part of it,like okay, okay, like you can't
yeah, yeah, yeah, Iknow what you're saying, Like forgive me,
guys, like you know what Imean? A lot of people tend
to jump into the relationship aspects onthe most basic level. Like you like
the color rent, I like thecolor. Re and character are not the
(17:15):
same thing. You can get alongwith so many people just based off of
personality, and that doesn't necessarily meanthat that's someone that you should the person
A lot of people do, andthen they wonder, you know why the
relationship starts falling apart a few yearslater? Look at her, man,
I ain't gonna lie. Yeah shewould reading Michelle Obama's book, and I
(17:36):
don't know what's going on. Man. Listen, man, I get a
question for you. Is it traditional? Is the traditional idea of marriage more
of a burden or a blessing forindividuals? Going into twenty twenty four,
now in the twenty three a tradition? Is it? Is it more of
a burden or a blessing? Definetraditional? Traditional? White picking, fans,
(18:00):
kids, housewife, you stay athome, You're like, honey,
food's on the table, Like youknow what I mean? This is a
traditional This is traditional marriage people likeyou know what I mean for the people
that grew up that's white picking fansthe dog. You know, the kids
are at home, they're studying withwhatever, et cetera, et cetera.
(18:22):
That's what that's what traditional is ina sense for me, right right,
sony. And you're asking benefits.Is it a burden or a blessing?
A burden or a burden or ablessing? Honestly, we go I feel
like, thank god, there there'sno lives on this set today. I'm
(18:45):
going to say that's a blessing.I'm going to say it's a blessing,
okay, because it's today's damage inthe economy. If you can't afford it
to, you know, live thatlife of a traditional marriage, that's because
you've been blessed enough to be ableto do that, you know, with
you Yeah, I honestly am.I definitely agree with like a mom being
(19:11):
you know, that homely person andthat kind of stuff. Now, me
personally, I enjoy making my ownmoney. I take pride in making my
own money, So being being astay at home mom is not for me.
Although I do not discourage you knowthat for women, you know,
some of them enjoy that. That'sliterally their life purpose and they're completely happy
(19:32):
with that. That's great, that'syou. You do you, you know,
that's fine. But if you arein that position, and you can
afford to be in that position,then yeah, more power to you.
You know, you get to it. That means you get to influence your
children. It's not coming from theoutside. Your guys have a strong foundation
on which on which to build yourfamily. So your children are going to
(19:55):
be completely influenced by your core values. Of course, that is until they
leave. At least they're going towalk out with a strong foundation, which
is not something you can say fortwo parents. Oh oh my god.
And guys, I want you,I want, I want, I want
to give her aroundal applause for votefor her. She's running for she's running
for city council. People, I'mtelling you you're want fuego right now,
(20:18):
Okay, listen. I do thinkthat you're right. And nowadays, age
and nowadays, I feel like itcould be both. It could be a
burden and a blessing. That dependson what lifestyle that you want to live.
Of course, females, if youwant to live that house life,
(20:40):
housewife, life lifestyle where you know, you get to stay at home,
cook, clean, shop all day, do all of that stuff and not
work. It might it works foryou. However, if you have the
entrepreneur, you have that go gether mom, you got that, go
get her dad and all that extrastuff because you know why, because they
can be house dads too. Okay, let's not let's not make this bias.
(21:03):
Okay, you know what I mean. We could be house dads.
We can be house deads Okay,I'm not saying anything. It vote for
me for house dads. Listen.So my whole thing is just like this,
Like you know what I mean,It could be both a burden and
a blessing, depends on what youguys actually want to accomplish, you know
what I mean. Obviously, Likewhen it comes down to a marriage,
(21:26):
it comes down to both of youguys actually, you know, trying to
figure out what you guys feel thatis going to be most right and beneficial
for you the family, et cetera. You know what I mean. So
it's it is tough to sit thereand kind of favor one side when it
(21:52):
comes down to actually, like itcomes down to what what you guys both
want to do and what works thebest for both of you guys exactly.
And there's some men that do takepride and provided with their women them.
But but you know what I mean, not only that, you know what
I mean, it's it's it's moreso like you know what I mean obviously,
like you know, we've been likeyou know, I can only speak
(22:15):
for myself people like you know whatI mean, the way I was raised.
You know, I was brought toyou know, provide for my family,
you know, provide for my counterpartand all that extra stuff. But
however, you know, whatever,whoever's influenced by social media, influenced by
entertainment, influenced by their new influencer, it may sway their values, their
(22:41):
traditional outlook to something else, youknow what I mean. You know it
could be great, like you so, do you do you think you know,
I know, we're playing tugo warwith it. Do you think it's
more of a burden or a blessingwhen it comes down to the traditional relationship.
(23:04):
I know, I know, Iknow where we're at a stalemate.
Yeah, yeah, it's so,it's so. Is a tie depends on
the relationship. It really depends onthe relationship. It's not black and white
for me. Okay, listen,guys, we're gonna get right into the
meetings potatoes, like not in meetingpotatoes because the show has already started.
But we got Christmas is like aweek from now. Yeah, it's not
(23:29):
about a week from now. Okay. So Rose is gonna go down through
a rundown of holiday gifts that youshould get your significant other depends on the
time that you're in. Okay,all right, we're gonna go right through
it. Okay, guys, threeto six months you've been dating? What
(23:51):
gift do you give one? Doyou not give one? If you decide
to give one, what are yougiving three to six months? No person
through just six months. If itwas like closer to three months, probably
not. I don't know what andif and if I did, it would
(24:14):
definitely be something a lot more general, Okay, you know, like maybe
like some kind of you know,like like a candle or like a build
a bear bro that's wild, Okay, that's not what I would choose,
But it would be like something likethat says like thinking of you this holidays,
(24:34):
or like happy holidays, or youknow, something that is like a
little bit more on the you know, like we're boyfriend and girlfriend, but
like we're not that close yet.Yeah, she said, go to Hallmark.
Okay, okay, so one totwo year gift. What are you
doing a one to two year gift? You've been in relationship people for one
(24:57):
to two years? Okay, thisis all for the holidays. So I
would definitely get them something that it'slike they've been wanting it for a while.
Maybe not something it doesn't have tobe super expensive, but you know,
like maybe you know, they sawthe new bringing I don't know,
(25:18):
Call of Duty game or something Idon't know that's like Superman, but like
something like that, because you know, it's like it's more meaningful to them.
They're like, damn, you reallywent out of the way to get
something. So like one one giftof two gifts. It depends on how
expensive the gift is. I wouldsay if it's not a very expensive gift,
(25:41):
then I would definitely go for acouple more. And if it was,
is there a cap? Is acap I want you own? Like
is it like once in two years? Is a cap one hundred, two
hundred, three hundred dollars? Yeah, I would say there's definitely a cap
Okay, okay, five to tenyears, oh, five to ten years
yeah, wow, yeah, somethinglike that. I would definitely go a
(26:04):
little bit more because at this point, you know this person really well,
you know, so if there wasanything that was like of of great significance
to them, Okay, no matterhow expensive it is or how frere,
I definitely want to go my wayto get something like that. Okay,
okay, okay, what about tenyears plus? Oh, ten years plus?
(26:26):
At that point I think the sisterssound kind of funny, but have
you ever seen the older couples andthey kind of just don't care with shit
anything. They don't and they justkind of know, like, man,
you've been stuck with me for tenplus years, Like, yeah, so
you get but I ain't going noway. I get you a box of
cereal. You'd be good with it. I get man, ma'am, I
(26:47):
get your favorite boxing cereal, somealmond, will you good? Okay?
Definitely not in box of cereal,that's me. And but you know,
just something that just has more sentimentalvalue anything of monetary value. Say it's
like ten years plus, like theydon't care anymore. Okay, Okay,
I want you. I want youany any any positive feedback that you got
(27:11):
for people out there going into theholidays or anything like that, any positive
or with our conversation just based offof marriage and all that extra stuff or
toxic toxic. Okay, stay safe, surround yourself with uh good friends and
(27:36):
family. Just enjoy the holidays safely, and you know, just don't be
afraid to do yourselves. Oh okay, all right, I felt like that's
definitely a fortune cookie. I definitelyyou, definitely you definitely, I'm just
kidding. You definitely want to say. You definitely want to saying someone.
(27:59):
Oh there's some crab and wow,listen a little bit of words of wisdom
guys before we go. I don'tknow how you could be a racist and
you have acne. You need toworry about your own skin. Listen more
the story. People don't do that. More of the story, guys,
(28:23):
with the with the whole holidays andeverything all like that. If I text
you I'm on my way and Idon't get a text back saying okay,
that means I'm not coming. Yougot me, guys, man, I
want to thank you. Guys rockingout with us for another episode of Beans
(28:44):
consequences off the books. We gotrolls in the building? Is that a
diddy bob? What's that? Okay? Okay? Where really quick? Where
can they Where can they find youat? Where can they find me?
(29:07):
Okay? On on social media,I'm like, nobody's gonna find me anywhere.
I was promoting at first strip clubof some ship. What do you
mean, find me where? Okay, nobody's finding me anywhere? No,
okay, it's at irreplaceable underscore Rogeryou guys, Instagram guys. Yeah,
(29:29):
all right, I'm gonna put itin the bottom below, but guys,
till next time. Salutation has beenHappy Holidays, right, Christmas? Happy
New Years? All extras? Right, Okay, cheer
Of Hey, Jay McLaughlin, I'mRyan Rue, I'm DJ Rich the Tough
for I'm Plinny Martinez, and weare the hosts of Opinions and Consequences,
the podcast, the show where Europeanscan lead to consequences. So choose your
where's wise looks Join the show.Hey, hey, hey, hey,
(00:23):
hey, hey, hey, heyhey hey, guys, guess what man.
Welcome back to another episode of thePens Consequences off the books people.
You already goes, You guys alreadyknow. This is a short and condensed
version of the original show, thecontroversial, sometimes start provoking show where you
(00:45):
know, we get right into themeat and potatoes. Guys, guess what
we got? Rolls back in thebuilding. What's Goody Roles right shot,
Like, yo, she made mefeel like Jehovah witnesses now Like he's like,
hi, oh, I'm not sure. Over the door, like yo,
(01:07):
you definitely gave me the high Likeuh no, I don't want to
payph it Like you definitely just didthat right now. She's like, listen,
I was just waiting for you togive me the room, give me
the okay, you know that windowI can say, hi, Okay,
what's up? Everybody. How areyou doing, I'm chilling, I'm good.
(01:33):
How was the Thanksgiving? What?What is what is phenomenal for you?
Like? Is it? Does thatmean like no fights? There's no
there's nobody that ended up in jail. You got These are real questions.
He's a real question. I know. I know some family gatherings can be
(01:53):
a little more chaotic than others.Yes, yeah, no, no fights,
no jail time. Eat a lotof food and had a lot of
laughs. I even think karaoke,which, oh, look at you,
okay, don't do that. Wewant to do that. I gotta hide
myself up. But did karaoke?What was the dish of the evening?
(02:15):
Like? What was that one thingthat he was like getting We're going to
get back to this. Listen,man, We're gonna get right into the
meat and potatoes people. I knowyou did have a question, Yes,
good question. Well, what isthe point of marriage anyways? And what
benefits does it bring? And evenjust financials? Oh do you want to
(02:38):
get into that first? Yeah?Sure, so for me, I would
definitely say that the point of marriagewould definitely come with more of like the
commitment perspect of it. I don'tthink it's just the financials, which I
think is what a lot of peoplewould kind of gravitate towards nowadays, just
(03:00):
kind of monetize to the idea ofyou know, marriage and whether or not
it's gonna you know, benefit themin the long run when it comes to
the money. And for me,I'd say, there's just so much more
that comes along with it because you'reyou're committing to someone, You're you're choosing
them over anybody, and you're justkind of making that declaration. Which isn't
(03:23):
to say that you can't possibly dothat with just a simple relationship with no
marriage involved. But I think that'sjust taking it a step further and that
just kind of the for better,for worse part of it. For me,
it's definitely something that I think holdsa lot of value. And I
just say, you know what,for a lot of people nowadays, that
(03:44):
doesn't And I get that, butI don't believe that the value of marriage
is diminished just because people don't valueit the way they should. Okay,
do like you sort of Fortune COOKIor or a magazine. Yeah, she's
an advocate, she's a proud memberof Oprah's book Club. Okay, you
(04:13):
know what, it is an interestingquestion just because I do feel like marriage
can be it is, I guess, the final stepping stone when it comes
down to put an exclamation point onour relationship. However, when it comes
to finances, speaking from a male'sperspective, it doesn't. It doesn't favorite
(04:39):
male does a favorite male? Notto say, not to say that I'm
being biased against any females people,but at the same time, it's this
whole thing that sometimes you know,you just gotta, you know, check
your boxes, whatever the case is. But I agree with that. Oh
no, I know you no,no, because but but you can't.
(05:00):
You can't. You can't disagree withit in terms of you don't know anyone's
everyone's intentions. You're right, youknow what I mean. So I don't
think it's just a male thing.I think it only it doesn't benefit the
person who makes most money. Ifyou're coming from a so you're comfortable with
the prenup. The prenup is whatI'm talking about. If you're not married
(05:23):
with a p if you're married witha prenup, then yeah, you can
protect your finances. But I wouldn'tso go so far as to say that
it benefits. It doesn't benefit men. It just doesn't benefit whoever's making more
money. Okay, okay, okay, that's okay, that's true. Okay,
we're gonna give your little hair class. Well, listen, my whole
thing is like this. My wholething is like this. Are you comfortable
(05:44):
with the fact of going into arelationship or going into a marriage signing a
prenup? So if the finances thatthey have acquired was completely don't know,
you know what I mean, Idon't know, I don't know your culture.
Oh, give me a break,I would say that, uh no,
(06:15):
that's fine. That's why I know, because my own thing is okay,
go ahead. So basically, ifthe if the riches they acquired was
without my help and I had zeroinput in any of that, then sure.
And if it was like some kindof you know, family, you
know thing, then I would say, okay, fine, I'll step beside.
I will sign a prenup for that. But anything that we build together,
(06:38):
I don't care if we were notmarried or or aren't married, I'm
gonna clap you up because okay,fellas, she's looking out for the she's
looking out for the guys. Okay. So females. Okay, I'm gonna
look out for you guys really quick, really quick. Does that mean that
you know, if you sign aprenup, does that mean that you don't
(06:58):
think it's gonna work out? Inalaw, I wouldn't say that you don't
think it's not gonna work out.I would say that's more of like kind
of I guess you can put itthat way. Is the bundle okay,
(07:26):
Yeah, let's call it an insurancepolicy. Oh yeah, you're you're you're
trying to protect anything that you knowwould be of value and would be at
stake if you guys did ever getdivorced, which I'm not completely against.
But again, if we built somethingtogether, I'm definitely not signing a prenup
for that. And if you wantme to sign a prenup, I've got
(07:46):
to have some kind of like inputon it, you know, something that
works fairly for the both of us, because I'm not just gonna willingly sign
something and be like, oh yeah, you know, I'll totally do this.
It's gonna be like, Okay,we're gonna talk to the lawyer.
We're gonna get my perspective, yourperspective, We're gonna get it down on
paper, and we're gonna make surethat neither one of us has any authority
(08:09):
over the other one. It comesto wow, listen, guys. So
in other words, she's reading thefine print. She's reading the fine print.
Okay, okay, let me askyou this, in your opinion,
does marriage hinder or enhance personal andprofessional growth for both men and women?
(08:30):
Let's start with let's start with thepersonal okay, okay, okay. At
the personal level, if you wantto talk, if you want to talk
directly your people, you can talkto them right there and that camera.
All right. Yes, on apersonal level, well, let's just start
with Yes, I do believe marriage. We'll definitely it should make you want
(08:50):
to improve, I mean, wouldyou. Let's think about it as just
as an individual. I mean,at least for me, I would like
to surround myself with people who aregoing to bring the best out of me,
who are going to motivate me,encourage me, hold me up to
a standard home accountable. Why wouldI not want that in the marriage Like
that you're talking about exactly having thatrelationship with someone who's going to be on
(09:16):
a much more intimate level. SoI would definitely require that standard, if
not more when it comes to amarriage. So in my case, yes,
if I'm going to look for marriageand someone, I would definitely look
for those qualities and say, Okay, is this person going to help me
elevate? If that's out of thequestion, then I don't want to marry.
(09:37):
I don't care how much I likeyou, just like that. So
what about the you know, thatwas a personal side, What about the
other side, the professional level.I think that would definitely come in tie
(10:00):
with what I was saying earlier abouthaving that motivation. We don't necessarily have
to have the same vision, butwe should at least at a professional level.
You know, our career interest interestscould definitely be very different, and
that's not necessarily a bad thing.The issue is going to come on whether
(10:20):
or not there will be a compromisefor the life that you were both trying
to acquire that's going to require someoneelse to sacrifice their own career. That
is where I would say it's gonnait's gonna be tricky. It's gonna be
tricky. So again, you reallyhave to be thinking about the person that
you're you're trying to build this lifewith and someone someone someone we needs this
(10:46):
morning. You know, you feelan extra hidden with the really quick I
do think that it's it's it's abalance of both, you know what I
mean. I feel like you knowwhat I mean, Like relationships, you
have to take an L. Youhave to take an L in order to
get a win somewhere else. Youknow. I feel like a lot of
(11:09):
us don't understand the tug of warand relationships, you know what I mean.
It's not about just automatically, youknow, getting the winds all the
time. It does hinder personally,it does hinder professionally, and it does
grow you both personally and professionally aswell too. So I feel like it's
an equal balance where you know,hindering your personal life, you know what
(11:33):
I mean, You're gonna You're goingto lose some of your personal boundaries,
Yep, correct, yep, correct, correct, because now you have to
include somewhere else. Professionally, youmay have to stop and wait till somebody
understands and catch ups to you.Like. So there's a lot of different
aspects. And when it comes downto a marriage, where stuff is going
(11:56):
to be hindered and some is somea is going to be progressed. You
know what I mean. You knowwhat I mean, and I you know,
I don't necessarily see that as aloss, because if there are things
that are going to be hindered,it's because you're shifting from being this individual
person correct correct their own interest versustrying to share that with someone else,
(12:18):
which you know, in the nameof building a life together that's you know,
works for the both of you.I wouldn't say that's necessarily Listen,
man, I'm not gonna lie toyou. May he's out here spitting all.
Okay, listen. I know youhad a question, what's the what
are the different aspects of marriage?Yeah? Yeah, yeah, so there's
(12:43):
what are different aspects of marriage inwhich individuals can grow? Oh yeah,
so honestly, daily living professionally asyou already imagined. Even individually, sometimes
people can feed off of each otherwhen it comes to stir and things like
maybe you were not uh the mostoutgoing person, or you needed like a
(13:05):
push And I'm just saying this ona basic level, but it could be
so many things. No, No, I'm very so. I don't I
don't talk to nobody. Yeah,I guess I can vouch for that,
but yeah, I you know,you come across somebody who does bring you
out of your shell and kind ofbrings another side of you that you didn't
really know was there. Correct,correct, correct. I definitely think that
(13:28):
that's one way that you know,being around someone who you intend to marry,
if again, assuming that you choosesomeone that's right for you, would
definitely be a place where you cangrowl you accountable too. I gotta agree
with that. You know, whenit when it comes down to marriage,
(13:50):
I feel like, you know whatI mean, everything is now. I'm
gonna talk to you guys really quick. So guys, ladies, you know
what I mean right here, righthere. Sometimes when it comes down to
marriages, now, it's like apackage deal, you know what I mean.
You gotta have to join account yougotta do things together. Not saying
it's bad or anything like that,but these are stuff that could help somebody
(14:13):
grow that doesn't know how to saveright or doesn't know how to manage better,
that's not good with you know,shopping, you know what I mean,
There's a lot of things that youcan grow personally by just you know
what I mean. I'm not sayingthat it just has to it has to
be marriage. Of course, twopeople got to be open minded to actually
(14:33):
want it to be do that.But you know, this could be physically,
this could be mentally, this couldbe spiritually, this could be anything
like that where two people can growwithin a marriage, you know what I
mean. But it just it doestake two. It does take to the
tangle. And that's why I saythat, assuming that you choose the right
(14:56):
person, because I find that alot of people tend to jump into the
relationships. But do you think it'sthe right person or do you think that
it's Sometimes it comes down to growth, like you know what I mean?
Because no, because this is whereI had mentioned in the previous podcast.
You you have a responsibility to yourselfto know yourself well enough to say this
(15:18):
person does not align with me oryou know. And I get the aspect
of like, oh, you canoutgross someone, but that's that's you have
to be vigilant of that kind ofstuff because sometimes the signs are there,
you just don't realize it until it'sright in your face. That's right.
So that's where you got to refuseyou And I would say it consistently,
(15:43):
you know what I mean. Mything is like I feel like, I
don't like to say that you're goingto change somebody. I like to say
you influence somebody. Yeah, Ifeel like you know a lot of times,
like you can influence somebody to changetheir ways in terms of being like
a cool Like I influence them tobe much more punctual. I influenced them
to be much more organized, likeyou know what I mean. And it's
(16:07):
a little like guys, you gotto remember this, like it's the little
wins. It's the little wins,Like you know what I mean. A
lot of us always look for thebig wins. It's the little ones.
It's the little ones. But yeah, you know what I mean. I
feel like sometimes, you know,necessarily, like you said, picking the
right person, I don't. Idon't feel like, you know, sometimes
(16:30):
sometimes you can influence people to changetheir ways and become a better person.
No, you can, yes,but I wouldn't. I think you're misinterpreting
what I say when I say theright person. When I say the right
person, I mean they've got tobe someone who like aligns with you on
(16:51):
at least like the both basic Okay, Okay, so like you're talking about
like the foundations part of it,like okay, okay, like you can't
yeah, yeah, yeah, Iknow what you're saying, Like forgive me,
guys, like you know what Imean? A lot of people tend
to jump into the relationship aspects onthe most basic level. Like you like
the color rent, I like thecolor. Re and character are not the
(17:15):
same thing. You can get alongwith so many people just based off of
personality, and that doesn't necessarily meanthat that's someone that you should the person
A lot of people do, andthen they wonder, you know why the
relationship starts falling apart a few yearslater? Look at her, man,
I ain't gonna lie. Yeah shewould reading Michelle Obama's book, and I
(17:36):
don't know what's going on. Man. Listen, man, I get a
question for you. Is it traditional? Is the traditional idea of marriage more
of a burden or a blessing forindividuals? Going into twenty twenty four,
now in the twenty three a tradition? Is it? Is it more of
a burden or a blessing? Definetraditional? Traditional? White picking, fans,
(18:00):
kids, housewife, you stay athome, You're like, honey,
food's on the table, Like youknow what I mean? This is a
traditional This is traditional marriage people likeyou know what I mean for the people
that grew up that's white picking fansthe dog. You know, the kids
are at home, they're studying withwhatever, et cetera, et cetera.
(18:22):
That's what that's what traditional is ina sense for me, right right,
sony. And you're asking benefits.Is it a burden or a blessing?
A burden or a burden or ablessing? Honestly, we go I feel
like, thank god, there there'sno lives on this set today. I'm
(18:45):
going to say that's a blessing.I'm going to say it's a blessing,
okay, because it's today's damage inthe economy. If you can't afford it
to, you know, live thatlife of a traditional marriage, that's because
you've been blessed enough to be ableto do that, you know, with
you Yeah, I honestly am.I definitely agree with like a mom being
(19:11):
you know, that homely person andthat kind of stuff. Now, me
personally, I enjoy making my ownmoney. I take pride in making my
own money, So being being astay at home mom is not for me.
Although I do not discourage you knowthat for women, you know,
some of them enjoy that. That'sliterally their life purpose and they're completely happy
(19:32):
with that. That's great, that'syou. You do you, you know,
that's fine. But if you arein that position, and you can
afford to be in that position,then yeah, more power to you.
You know, you get to it. That means you get to influence your
children. It's not coming from theoutside. Your guys have a strong foundation
on which on which to build yourfamily. So your children are going to
(19:55):
be completely influenced by your core values. Of course, that is until they
leave. At least they're going towalk out with a strong foundation, which
is not something you can say fortwo parents. Oh oh my god.
And guys, I want you,I want, I want, I want
to give her aroundal applause for votefor her. She's running for she's running
for city council. People, I'mtelling you you're want fuego right now,
(20:18):
Okay, listen. I do thinkthat you're right. And nowadays, age
and nowadays, I feel like itcould be both. It could be a
burden and a blessing. That dependson what lifestyle that you want to live.
Of course, females, if youwant to live that house life,
(20:40):
housewife, life lifestyle where you know, you get to stay at home,
cook, clean, shop all day, do all of that stuff and not
work. It might it works foryou. However, if you have the
entrepreneur, you have that go gether mom, you got that, go
get her dad and all that extrastuff because you know why, because they
can be house dads too. Okay, let's not let's not make this bias.
(21:03):
Okay, you know what I mean. We could be house dads.
We can be house deads Okay,I'm not saying anything. It vote for
me for house dads. Listen.So my whole thing is just like this,
Like you know what I mean,It could be both a burden and
a blessing, depends on what youguys actually want to accomplish, you know
what I mean. Obviously, Likewhen it comes down to a marriage,
(21:26):
it comes down to both of youguys actually, you know, trying to
figure out what you guys feel thatis going to be most right and beneficial
for you the family, et cetera. You know what I mean. So
it's it is tough to sit thereand kind of favor one side when it
(21:52):
comes down to actually, like itcomes down to what what you guys both
want to do and what works thebest for both of you guys exactly.
And there's some men that do takepride and provided with their women them.
But but you know what I mean, not only that, you know what
I mean, it's it's it's moreso like you know what I mean obviously,
like you know, we've been likeyou know, I can only speak
(22:15):
for myself people like you know whatI mean, the way I was raised.
You know, I was brought toyou know, provide for my family,
you know, provide for my counterpartand all that extra stuff. But
however, you know, whatever,whoever's influenced by social media, influenced by
entertainment, influenced by their new influencer, it may sway their values, their
(22:41):
traditional outlook to something else, youknow what I mean. You know it
could be great, like you so, do you do you think you know,
I know, we're playing tugo warwith it. Do you think it's
more of a burden or a blessingwhen it comes down to the traditional relationship.
(23:04):
I know, I know, Iknow where we're at a stalemate.
Yeah, yeah, it's so,it's so. Is a tie depends on
the relationship. It really depends onthe relationship. It's not black and white
for me. Okay, listen,guys, we're gonna get right into the
meetings potatoes, like not in meetingpotatoes because the show has already started.
But we got Christmas is like aweek from now. Yeah, it's not
(23:29):
about a week from now. Okay. So Rose is gonna go down through
a rundown of holiday gifts that youshould get your significant other depends on the
time that you're in. Okay,all right, we're gonna go right through
it. Okay, guys, threeto six months you've been dating? What
(23:51):
gift do you give one? Doyou not give one? If you decide
to give one, what are yougiving three to six months? No person
through just six months. If itwas like closer to three months, probably
not. I don't know what andif and if I did, it would
(24:14):
definitely be something a lot more general, Okay, you know, like maybe
like some kind of you know,like like a candle or like a build
a bear bro that's wild, Okay, that's not what I would choose,
But it would be like something likethat says like thinking of you this holidays,
(24:34):
or like happy holidays, or youknow, something that is like a
little bit more on the you know, like we're boyfriend and girlfriend, but
like we're not that close yet.Yeah, she said, go to Hallmark.
Okay, okay, so one totwo year gift. What are you
doing a one to two year gift? You've been in relationship people for one
(24:57):
to two years? Okay, thisis all for the holidays. So I
would definitely get them something that it'slike they've been wanting it for a while.
Maybe not something it doesn't have tobe super expensive, but you know,
like maybe you know, they sawthe new bringing I don't know,
(25:18):
Call of Duty game or something Idon't know that's like Superman, but like
something like that, because you know, it's like it's more meaningful to them.
They're like, damn, you reallywent out of the way to get
something. So like one one giftof two gifts. It depends on how
expensive the gift is. I wouldsay if it's not a very expensive gift,
(25:41):
then I would definitely go for acouple more. And if it was,
is there a cap? Is acap I want you own? Like
is it like once in two years? Is a cap one hundred, two
hundred, three hundred dollars? Yeah, I would say there's definitely a cap
Okay, okay, five to tenyears, oh, five to ten years
yeah, wow, yeah, somethinglike that. I would definitely go a
(26:04):
little bit more because at this point, you know this person really well,
you know, so if there wasanything that was like of of great significance
to them, Okay, no matterhow expensive it is or how frere,
I definitely want to go my wayto get something like that. Okay,
okay, okay, what about tenyears plus? Oh, ten years plus?
(26:26):
At that point I think the sisterssound kind of funny, but have
you ever seen the older couples andthey kind of just don't care with shit
anything. They don't and they justkind of know, like, man,
you've been stuck with me for tenplus years, Like, yeah, so
you get but I ain't going noway. I get you a box of
cereal. You'd be good with it. I get man, ma'am, I
(26:47):
get your favorite boxing cereal, somealmond, will you good? Okay?
Definitely not in box of cereal,that's me. And but you know,
just something that just has more sentimentalvalue anything of monetary value. Say it's
like ten years plus, like theydon't care anymore. Okay, Okay,
I want you. I want youany any any positive feedback that you got
(27:11):
for people out there going into theholidays or anything like that, any positive
or with our conversation just based offof marriage and all that extra stuff or
toxic toxic. Okay, stay safe, surround yourself with uh good friends and
(27:36):
family. Just enjoy the holidays safely, and you know, just don't be
afraid to do yourselves. Oh okay, all right, I felt like that's
definitely a fortune cookie. I definitelyyou, definitely you definitely, I'm just
kidding. You definitely want to say. You definitely want to saying someone.
(27:59):
Oh there's some crab and wow,listen a little bit of words of wisdom
guys before we go. I don'tknow how you could be a racist and
you have acne. You need toworry about your own skin. Listen more
the story. People don't do that. More of the story, guys,
(28:23):
with the with the whole holidays andeverything all like that. If I text
you I'm on my way and Idon't get a text back saying okay,
that means I'm not coming. Yougot me, guys, man, I
want to thank you. Guys rockingout with us for another episode of Beans
(28:44):
consequences off the books. We gotrolls in the building? Is that a
diddy bob? What's that? Okay? Okay? Where really quick? Where
can they Where can they find youat? Where can they find me?
(29:07):
Okay? On on social media,I'm like, nobody's gonna find me anywhere.
I was promoting at first strip clubof some ship. What do you
mean, find me where? Okay, nobody's finding me anywhere? No,
okay, it's at irreplaceable underscore Rogeryou guys, Instagram guys. Yeah,
(29:29):
all right, I'm gonna put itin the bottom below, but guys,
till next time. Salutation has beenHappy Holidays, right, Christmas? Happy
New Years? All extras? Right, Okay, cheer
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