In this electrifying new year of 2024 episode, AJ @ajandhisbackpack and the dynamic guest Ricky @rickym0ney dive deep into navigating life's rollercoaster. Brace yourself for thought-provoking discussions on steering friends towards better choices, balancing evolving relationships, and tackling imposter syndrome in the fast lane of personal growth. Buckle up, tune in, vibe out, and ride the wave of wisdom – it's a podcast joyride you won't want to miss!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Oh May, Javiclaughlin, I'm RyanRuie, I'm DJ Rich Tough Fo,
I'm Pliny Martinez and we are thehosts of Opinions and Consequences, the podcast,
the show where Europeans can lead toconsequences. So choose your words wisely.
Joining the show. Je je guys, man, listen man. I
(00:28):
wanted to welcome you, guys backto another episode of a penis of Consequences.
Off the books, guys. Youknow, in this segment, we
throw away the rule book and wedive deep in the deep end into some
thought provoking, sometimes controversial, butalways entertaining conversations. Guys, guys,
guess what man, I'm your host, Ajriy McLaughlin and I got a guess
(00:49):
in the building. I want towelcome my man Ricky in the building once.
How you men chilling everything? Iwas everything well first and foremost Happy
New Year, sir. Appreciate thatI had a couple of a couple of
my boys, you know, flyout to Boston with me. Okay,
you know, you know, dida little partying. Yeah, been too
(01:11):
crazy though, as you can see, you know, still alive, still
healthy. So like do you dormlike like for like your New Years do
you normally like just chill or oris it something whereas it's kind of like
you're out and about you're trying toyou're trying to bring in the new year.
Different out here. I'm trying tobe out and about like Boston.
Oh yeah, because you ain't fromout here, right yeah? Okay,
(01:32):
okay where you from? Ranked?Okay, we're part we're part of south
Side, south Side, Okay,south side. So but hey yeah,
if you ain't there New Years inBoston's that's a good time for sure.
Yeah what have you gone out?Like? Have you gone out into the
into were Boston scene? We werein the city, so we were like
(01:53):
both yeahee okay, okay, okay, okay, Like it was solid.
It was a good time. Man. I told you everything gonna be high
level. Everything gonna be high level. So let me ask you this,
like how different is it from Chicagolike in that in that whole like night
life scene. Is it like reallyfor me? I'm not gonna lie,
(02:15):
that's a tough question because bro,I never lived in Chicago as an adult.
Fay, I went to college thenI wasn't there as an adult.
But from my overall, Bro,Boston, it's different. It's different.
No, we're gonna were gonna doubleback to it. We're gonna double back
to Gon. We're gonna get rightinto the show people. Guys, Rick,
(02:37):
I know we spoke about this alittle bit briefly, not too long
ago, but I know it wasit was something along along the lines of
how would you go about communicating withyour friends respectfully to make better decisions when
rolling with a particular crowd gotch likeyou know what I mean, like dive
(03:00):
deep into that, like in termsof like what I what's your thoughts on
that? Okay, So actually recently, you know, I had a a
homeboy and this this is one ofmy guys that he ok tells me his
dreams aspirational, you know, ofwhat he wants to do. You know.
Of course I'm supportive, like,yeah, bro, you can do
it y, you know, butI feel like right now he not exactly
(03:21):
around the people who sho he shouldbe. I feel like he he in
the midst of trying to motivate hisselfand also motivate the people around him to
get on mentally at least what he'son. Hh. Okay, Okay,
I'm here. So nevertheless, youknow, he came to me with the
idea and and crazy enough when wewere talking, I told him like,
bro, when you get when youget your stuff going right, that's gonna
(03:42):
be motivating to be you feel me, big facts, big facts. And
it was a three way call.It was me and him and my other
boys. So yeah, we Ifeel like, in a most respectful way,
we're telling him like, yo,you got your part, you got
your potential, but need to stopstop wasting time with the people you're around.
Like while you wasting these while youwasting time with these people. Oh
can be solo brainstorming or just gettingstuff together by yourself. But since you're
(04:04):
around the wrong crowd, you allthat, I mean all the time,
you got it. And you know, you know, for the viewers out
there, you know, it's it'sdifferent. It's a little different, you
know what I mean. You guyscould probably relate to this situation, but
I do understand it because you knowwhat I mean. It's like sometimes I
(04:25):
don't know, if you know,the same birds of the same feathers flock
together, but but not necessarily inthe in the in the same context that
they're doing the same things and andnot to know, like I don't know,
like in terms of how close theirfriends are or how tight niche they're
(04:46):
their their their their relationship is withit with his people's. But I do
believe that everybody, like if youwith your own crewp people, like,
if you're with your own crew,like I'm assuming that you guys you know,
mean well for each other. Butat the same time, I do
(05:10):
understand where you're coming from because yo, like I could be doing one thing,
but then they could be doing awhole different things. But at the
same time, it don't coexist withwith what you got going on. It
kind of happened with me with like, you know, we're playing ball,
Like Yo, I was always inthe gym while my peoples were always out
partying. So it's kind of like, yo, bro, I can't even
(05:30):
go because I gotta go to thegym. Damn bro, you want you
want this whole workout to like yo, you know what I mean. So
it's just like they mean well andthey're still within my life, but like,
at the same time, I getit. Sometimes in certain situations like
that, you can be Yeah,it's a tough spot. Overall, you
(05:56):
definitely want to just be positive,I mean, and that's what you gotta
do. Yeah, yeah, becauseI mean if this person really your friend,
you can see the potential you know, and you know and the people
around you you know, so youdefinitely just want to stay positive. Don't
go you don't want to go negativewith your people and make them make him
pick right, Yeah, you knowwhat I mean? You and he's right,
(06:17):
you know what I mean. Likein terms of being able to communicate
with that, with with your withyour close friend, certificant other or whatever
the case is, like, youdo have to choose your words, Biseley
when it comes down to like yo, big dog yo, I think you
should focus on this boom boom.Maybe not go out clubbing with them every
week, maybe twice a month,you know what I mean, Like,
(06:40):
but try to make that happy medianwhere you know what I mean? Like
you you're not playing tugo war,right, I mean, and honestly you
gotta think even for you know,somebody like you, you don't got time
to play tug awards. Exact conversationsare are sparse, you know, like
super you know, like we don'tgot time to you don't got time to
be put somebody long you're trying toget your own stuff going bingo. Yeah,
(07:04):
damn man, they shout out toyou. I ain't know live man.
That's all tough, bro, that'ssuper tough. That's super tough.
I do have this question for you. How does one maintain their previous relationship
with a person when you're leveling upand they're not. Once again, how
does one maintain their previous relationship witha person when you're leveling up? You
(07:29):
know, I know a lot ofpeople go through this. Got you.
I feel like this definitely in theworld we live in now, your friends
see it. At least they cansee it, possibly on social media.
They're around you, they can seethat, like all right, you know
they're going somewhere there. You knowthey're you know, they're doing something.
But I think the main thing isyou don't one you don't want to put
put it in their face like whatI'm doing. Yeah, I want to
(07:50):
just keep it, keep everything genuine, you know, keep everything genuine,
and keep the friendship of friendship,like base y'all conversations around friendship. Now,
if they bring up what you're doing, if they you know, they
want help, but advice, wecan talk about that. But I think
the main thing is you don't youdon't want to as you start growing and
(08:13):
becoming this new person, you don'twant to grow that in somebody's face.
Yeah, like like making it seemlike you're better than that. Yeah,
well you know what I mean,and and and you know, to be
and to be fair, you know, there's different levels up. There's different
leveling up in terms of you couldbe leveling up from this person getting into
(08:35):
a serious relationship and you no longerdoing the whole like Yo, let's go
out, let's go grab girls,or let's or females or let's go go
talk to guys and all this extrastuff that could be a different level up.
So it doesn't have to necessarily bethat, yo, Like you gotta
level up in terms of your career, you know, finances, where you
(08:58):
live and all that extra stuff.But it is important I could dig it,
like in terms of it, youknow what I mean, keep like
maintaining that same like Yo, Theway the way I do it is by
by sharing. That makes any sense, Like you know what I mean,
Like say if I'm like, sayif I'm coming up, say if I'm
(09:22):
coming up with the finances, likesay if I'm like I'm making money,
I'm like, I'm now going toshare that opportunity with you, like yo,
big dog, oh yo, listen, Yo, I'm getting money over
here. Boom and boom, let'sgo ride. Okay, now this this
sounds this sounds bad, but youknow what I mean. That's how you
get into drug in the treat Okay, I'm like, yo, don't be
here's some o yo. Yo,I got this. I'm moving weight like
(09:45):
you know what I mean. Butat the same time, it's true,
like that's the only way that Ican maintain my my same relationship with you,
knowing you for a long time,instead of me just being like,
yeah, bro, i'm getting money, go find out how to get money.
Yeah, Like you have you hadsituations where where you've had to kind
(10:09):
of like figure it out for somebodyor or or kind of leave somebody behind.
Or I've had situations where I've toldI've gave people advice, but not
directly, more like an indirect way. You know, you may have a
friend that's in a relationship with somebody. Yeah, that's not that's not supportive
(10:31):
of of them growing you know,m I may say something I've said this
to you know, to my homies, like, Hey, I'm telling you
this, bro, Like if ifyou you know, had your whatever whatever
together, you wouldn't be dealing withthat. That's all I'm saying, bro,
Like, if you had it together, you wouldn't be dealing with that.
You know, I say it ina funny way. We just move
(10:52):
on. It ain't sounding like okay, so it's it's not like you you
low key roll to them like Yo, this is your fault, my boy,
like that. You know, yourgenuine friend, your genuine friends,
they gonna take it like people that'sreally that that's really ten toes down with
you. They're gonna be like,yeah, you ain't lying, big dog.
They're not gonna they're not gonna takeit offensively. But then you know
the people that really don't mess withyou like that. What you mean right
(11:15):
right? You know what I mean? I mean what I'm talking about?
What do you do do? Like, has there ever been a situation where
like you felt that you came acrossor you you you went into it in
terms and it was not the sincereway that you wanted it to be,
(11:41):
Like you know what I mean,you meant well, but you could have
done it better. Honestly, I'mgonna say no, you you tread lightly.
Yeah, I feel I try to. I don't try to just go
hard on people. I try tolike give you a little bit of advice
and hey, I'm gonna leave itat that. I gotta get back to
what I'm doing. I'm gonna giveyou a little bit of advice and just
(12:01):
gonna leave it at that. ButI ain't gonna let it now. It's
different with my little brother, likeokay, yeah, yeah that's different.
That's different. So with the fam, the family is different. You go
ahead, it's like you ain't goingnowhere. You feel me, Yeah,
like I ain't gonna let this.There's certain family out there, yo that
they hitting the bricks. I know, I know you did have this other
(12:26):
question. Do you feel do youdeal with impostor syndrome sometimes when you grow
or go into a new spaces personallyI have. So, yeah, this
is important. People listen to thisbecause you know what I mean before you
(12:48):
go in, Like you know whatI mean, because a lot of people
start new jobs, all this extrastuff and like these are considered new spaces
people like you know what I mean, So you have to be mindful like
this is this is definitely something thatsomebody or a lot of people going through
the go ahead, bro. Soyeah, it happened on at my first
job. So you know, Icame out here. I work in actual
(13:09):
science. Actual science is like thestatistical slash like predictions side of insurance.
Oh so you're like a nerd,you know, ain't nothing wrong with that,
big dog. He's like, yeah, yeah, no, I am
a nerd. Yeah. So butwhen I started, you know, you
know, when I started, bro, I was essentially the only person in
(13:31):
the office that looked like me.Oh you was the only khaki color you
feel me? Okay? Then,so you know I'm in there definitely waffle
color go ahead, you know.And it was I mean, I wasn't
surprised. I knew it was goingto be like that. But actually in
the environment when you you know,it's just like you, and then you
got to figure out the politics andhow often you know, how the office
(13:52):
works. Yeah, who really hadyour best interest in things from it?
In my case, it did workout with my people around me to have
my best interest, so they wereable to help me grow. But initially,
I want to say, the firstyear or so I definitely felt like,
you know, do I belong here? Am I smart enough? Like
M so you? Yeah, youhad doubts and all that extra stuff.
Okay, okay, show, Butit kind of it went away after after
(14:16):
I passed my first exam as awhile working, like I passed one in
college, and I passed my secondone while working. After I passed that
one, I'm like, Yo,you're supposed to be here like okay,
okay, all right, So likethat that was that was your syndrome in
terms of being like yo, likeyou. Now that wasn't when I wasn't
(14:39):
based off of your knowledge or justbased off of your surroundings, because I
know you did mention the whole thing, like yo, you was the only
khaki color brother out there. Butbut like, was it was that predominantly
it or was it like yo?It was a combination of both. And
and I say from an I wasa standpoint sometimes And that's when I say
(15:01):
about the politics of knowing, likewho has your best interest? Because some
people, you know, when you'reworking with people, some people for you
decide like, hey, this iswhat it you know it really is,
like you're good, calm down,you learn it. Then other people,
may you know, try to playwith you know, play with your emotions
a little bit and make it seemlike you're supposed to know this. Mmm,
you know, and you just throwextra dout on you. But it
(15:24):
wasn't until I started meeting other peoplein the company. I'm like, man,
don't nobody know nothing? Hold on, you know, you'll learning,
Greig, don't know nothing about what'sgoing on? Greg? Yeah, So
when that when when it started goinglike that, when I started meeting other
people, I'll figured out like,hey, we all learning together, Like
yeah, good, calm down,you know, give your best effort every
(15:48):
day and every you know, everythinga fall, you know, falling place.
Man, I ain't gonna hold you, but dog, yeah I got
a clock. It's true though,like you know what I mean, Like
we deal with it differently, youknow, and it doesn't matter wherever you're
at people, you know, it'sit's different ways on being able to deal
with certain stuff. Is you know, the way I deal with it is
(16:15):
I I don't. I'm the wayI am no matter what or where am
I wherever am I at. Soit's kind of like that's one of those
things where it kind of lightens themood for a lot of people, meaning
that you know what I mean,if I don't have to change who I
am, like on a daily basis, or like oh say if like if
(16:38):
we're going to the bar later,or say if we're going if we're in
the we're in the office. Obviously, you know, professional professionalism is you
know, the everyday thing, butit's it shows your character in terms of
being like yo damn yo. Rickis a he's the same way in the
office in alcohol office, like he'snot like, he's not somebody that I
(17:00):
know it's gonna change on me,you know what I mean. So I
feel like a lot of times peoplelike when you have that, when you
have the ability to do that,a lot of people gravitate to you more
because they think that you're more genuine. And that's and that's just for me
from my perspective, you know whatI mean, obviously, Like we all
share different perspectives and we all sharedifferent characters where you know what I mean,
(17:22):
Like you might go through a certainthing like this, I might go
through certain things like this, butyou know what I mean, that's how
I deal with it, you knowwhat I mean. I take I take
everyone for the grain of salt andbe like, yo, you're a real
one or something like that, untilyou do something where it's like yo,
bro yep, that was something,you know what I mean? Yeah,
(17:47):
yeah, he said. Let meask you this, How does one encourage
their significant other to unlock their potentialgreatness without seeming controlling? Once again,
how does one person encourage their significantother to unlock their potential greatness without seeming
(18:11):
controlling? Okay, go ahead,be though. I really think a lot
of things, a lot of success, at least in my life, it
starts in the gym, Like it'sokay, you know, of course you're
gonna gonna get the physical results youlike you benched like three fifteen. But
I think a lot of it startsin the gym. So I've had people
(18:33):
that I've dated and I've gotten themto start going to the gym, but
to explain to them that, like, this isn't about only the physical results
that you're gonna get from it,Like mentally you're gonna get tough for you
pushing yourself through something that's gonna carryover to other things. Yeah. Yeah,
I mean most of the people updated, they you know, they they
go do their job. They dotheir job well, but you need to
(18:56):
I need to need more, youknow, we need we need to have
a mind instead of we gotta domore. We need to be more active,
we need to Okay, yeah,and I feel like a lot of
success starts that starts. Okay,no, I mit you. I'm with
you on that. I'm with youon that. Like but in the sense
that you know what I mean isdo you think that's there, that that's
(19:18):
their great potential? You know whatI mean? Like, my thing is
just like sometimes you know what Imean, Like I hear what you're saying,
Like in terms of you building somethingwith your significant other in order to
become more greater together and all theextra stuff, you know, health as
well, all that extra stuff,but in terms of unlocking their true potential
in terms of being like yo,listen, like like if your significant other
(19:41):
wasn't great artist, right, butat the same time you never see her
draw? Hey man, were aboutto go to the you know what I
mean? Like yeah, so likelike yeah, that's my thing. My
thing is just like yeah, Iwould, I personally, I would.
I'll take you to the Museum ofScience, I'll go to Arts and Craft
I'll do what's that what's a thingcalled wine? Something like that? When
(20:02):
you drawn at the end of theday. Though, even with things like
that, I give you a littlepush, but you gotta be you gotta
want it. You gotta want it. But a lot of times, like
you know, and I and Iand I do and people could probably resonate
with with with us and on thisconversation, I feel like a lot of
times people are not go get us. You have to kind of tell them.
(20:26):
Sometimes it's like I hear I hearthat from you in terms of be
like yo, I could lead ahorse to water, but I can't make
them drink it type type ship.Like so like my whole thing is just
like but sometimes certain people need needto be told what to do because it's
like and and you you're in aphysical like you and LEGITM and all that
(20:47):
stuff. Like think about it fromfrom from that perspective, like how many
how many people have you probably trainedwith that you know they could do it,
but they're like, how many youwant me to do? Like you
know what I mean? Like yousee what I'm saying too, Yeah,
I think you got to be ableto know how to create a situation that
(21:14):
works for them me mostally, andwhen I say mostly like let them know
that, you know, you're proudof them, Like why it's going on?
Like keep it going? Like Isay this because I worked out with
different people and you, you know, you in shape, so you already
go at a certain level. Correct. But what I learned, like early
(21:34):
on, when I was working outwith certain people, I was being like
more like, come on, likeyou can do it, like stop,
you know, well, I'm tryingto motivate you, but it's coming from
a negative side. I hear whatyou're saying. But when I flipped it,
and even for the smallest things likehey, good job, good job,
like okay, like you ain't youknow, you don't have to do
it all, but you're good.You're good. Like so you're the type
(21:56):
that he's the type that everyone getsa trophy. Hey, but not not
wrong with that, you know,I mean, hey, this is the
dude that hey, this dude squadwith no hands. Okay, first,
so we already we already know howyou wired. Well, you know everybody
(22:17):
everybody don't got that intensity. Nowyou're right, you're right, so and
you're right the way that you're goingabout it is is the it's it's the
teacher way, and that's how people. A lot of times people respond better
by positivity. They're gonna respond better. But like if if you're right,
you're you're absolutely right in terms oflike yo, if you're too aggressive with
(22:38):
them, you might lose them.You might lose them in terms of being
like yo, damn chill, Ilike yo, chill dog, Like I'm
good, Like I can't do onethirty five, like you know what I
mean, Like and it'd be likethat, it'd be like that, But
I find it with people like everybodyguys, like you know, you just
gotta find that happy met where whereit's like you said, like it's not
(23:04):
too controlling, you're not like yo, yo do this, do this,
but you gotta actually want it tofeel me on that type of vibe.
Listen, I know we in thenew year, big dog, I gotta
do this. Man, What's like? What what is your resolution? Bro?
Like we we don't got to godeep into this, man, but
(23:25):
like what is what is like?How do you go about doing your resolutions?
Like you know what I mean,Honestly, I'm not gonna and resolution.
I'm kind of unconventional, like Idon't do I don't okay, I
don't do dless times day damn.I'm more like with certain things, I'm
(23:45):
not gonna lie. I want tobe on my own time, and you
know I want you, Yeah,I want to be on my own time,
and I want to be able tocreate a solution for something in March.
You know, if I see somethinglike I need to change this or
whatever. So honestly, I neverI've never done I'm not gonna see I've
never done it. I'm more like, yo, I'm gonna get it done
(24:06):
when it's time. When I seesomething, you see some changes I need
to make, I'm gonna start workingon the changes. But I'm not gonna
give myself the facade of like,hey, it's is January, I'm gonna
start doing this. Yeah. No, no, I hear what you're saying
because I'm I'm with you. I'mwith you on that because I feel like
a lot of people well you knowwhat I mean. I just feel like
a lot of people. And wetalk about this all the time with the
(24:29):
other guys on the show, butlike we talk about how people are very
not I got you not. No, I wanna say not genuine but not
they just they just say it tosay it because it's it's for the time,
it's for the time being. Likeyo, I'm just gonna say it
just for right now because it iswhat it is. But in actuality,
(24:51):
nah, bro, like you knowwhat I mean, Like I my resolutions,
people, is the same thing everyyear for real. I mean I
know people that you know, fiveyears ago they said they was you know,
five years ago, they said theywere gonna be leaving this person.
We're gonna stop dating. Oh man, there's some families built now. It's
(25:14):
not. It's true though, becauseI just tell my my resolution every year
is just just like this, people, keep your promises. That's my resolution
every year, keep your promises.A But now I make small goals.
Every year. I make smaller newgoals where it's just like yo, bro,
that's it. That's all I wantyou to do, big dog.
(25:37):
My advice to you guys, youknow, bringing in this new year,
folks, do what works for you. Get the small wins, okay,
guys, Like, don't don't dothese these over the top like, oh
my god, this year, I'musing twenty pounds. Let's start at five.
Let's start at five. Let's startby saying, yo, I'm not
(25:59):
gonna eat cookies and shit like orlet's start you know, it's little things,
bro, But but a lot ofa lot of people don't realize how
big those little things become. Buteverybody wants to do like, no,
I'm gonna lose thirty pounds, I'mgonna go to it, and then they're
be so upset at their failures becauseyou you set the bar so high,
(26:19):
right and you know what I mean, in the life that we're in now
was just like yo, bro,you gotta chill. You got a bet
out there, like one day ata time. That's fact that damn.
Okay, listen man, before wewrap it up, man, I need
you to tell me some positive ornegative man, or you could do some
toxic stuff. Okay, I'm gonnago positive. I'm gonna go positive,
(26:45):
all right, yo. Like Iwas telling you earlier. With my field,
it's a lot of actual exams.Yeah, man, up to this
point, I feeled more exams thenI passed. You know, I passed.
Just keep it, you know.But the thing is your failures is
a part of the process. Likewhen when you look back at it,
when you get what you want.It's not a loss, is a lesson,
(27:07):
it's a lesson like, hey,that was just part of the process.
But yeah, happy at the endof the day, when you keep
going, you're gonna be more happywith yourself and most probably a lifestyle too
when you keep going, Like hey, quitters don't get rewarded, you know,
So no matter what, keep pushingthrough it. Like if it's hey,
you maybe you may be going througha little drought, but you gotta
(27:30):
know if if you built a certainway, you're gonna come out of it.
You know you're gonna be dead.So like you wanted for office,
Man, that's crazy. It's likeyo, man, Like nah, man,
just to piggyback off that man.You ain't lying, man, guys,
you know it's a new year.I ain't gonna you know what I
(27:52):
did tell him, I was gonnabe toxic. But I was like,
you know, it's a new year, bro, you know, let me
just be positive really quick, juststay focused, be mindful, and like
I said, man, take thelittle wins. Little winds are gonna get
you closer and closer to the biggerwins. You know what I mean.
You got a chip, chip chipat it, stay great, stay in
(28:15):
shape, Happy New Years? Yeah, that's it. Oh yeah, Actually
on rick where can they know reachyou guys at or reach you at?
Oh yeah, So I'm on Instagramat ricky R I c k y money
instead of instead of a oh it'sa zero. So maybe I'm put it
(28:36):
right at the bottom. You seeyou guys? You see it? Yeah,
is at the bottom right there?That's it. You know, Hey,
that's it. That's just a justInstagram So checking it out. I'm
gonna I'm gonna start posting some workoutvideos. Ok kind of trainer. I'm
not going that route. It's morelike a workout experience in the gym of
like me working out with different peoplein the gym and getting their perspective while
(28:56):
they work out, and you knowwhat keeps them going? All right?
This count right? You can trademe. This dude squatting with no hands.
He's squatting. He's squatting four orfive. We know him. There's
a lot of germs on that barman. You already know that. I
haven't seen it in real life,you know. So hey man, this
(29:18):
is the big day. This dudedon't need no training. I always need
trading man. I always need helpfrom people. Man, listen. But
but guys, I want to thankyou guys for walking out with us for
a new episode or another episode ofBeing's constquence is off the books. I
want to thank my man Rick forcoming through you do you already know the
vibes man, But God, staysafe, be blessed, Happy New Years. Fightations,
Oh May, Javiclaughlin, I'm RyanRuie, I'm DJ Rich Tough Fo,
I'm Pliny Martinez and we are thehosts of Opinions and Consequences, the podcast,
the show where Europeans can lead toconsequences. So choose your words wisely.
Joining the show. Je je guys, man, listen man. I
(00:28):
wanted to welcome you, guys backto another episode of a penis of Consequences.
Off the books, guys. Youknow, in this segment, we
throw away the rule book and wedive deep in the deep end into some
thought provoking, sometimes controversial, butalways entertaining conversations. Guys, guys,
guess what man, I'm your host, Ajriy McLaughlin and I got a guess
(00:49):
in the building. I want towelcome my man Ricky in the building once.
How you men chilling everything? Iwas everything well first and foremost Happy
New Year, sir. Appreciate thatI had a couple of a couple of
my boys, you know, flyout to Boston with me. Okay,
you know, you know, dida little partying. Yeah, been too
(01:11):
crazy though, as you can see, you know, still alive, still
healthy. So like do you dormlike like for like your New Years do
you normally like just chill or oris it something whereas it's kind of like
you're out and about you're trying toyou're trying to bring in the new year.
Different out here. I'm trying tobe out and about like Boston.
Oh yeah, because you ain't fromout here, right yeah? Okay,
(01:32):
okay where you from? Ranked?Okay, we're part we're part of south
Side, south Side, Okay,south side. So but hey yeah,
if you ain't there New Years inBoston's that's a good time for sure.
Yeah what have you gone out?Like? Have you gone out into the
into were Boston scene? We werein the city, so we were like
(01:53):
both yeahee okay, okay, okay, okay, Like it was solid.
It was a good time. Man. I told you everything gonna be high
level. Everything gonna be high level. So let me ask you this,
like how different is it from Chicagolike in that in that whole like night
life scene. Is it like reallyfor me? I'm not gonna lie,
(02:15):
that's a tough question because bro,I never lived in Chicago as an adult.
Fay, I went to college thenI wasn't there as an adult.
But from my overall, Bro,Boston, it's different. It's different.
No, we're gonna were gonna doubleback to it. We're gonna double back
to Gon. We're gonna get rightinto the show people. Guys, Rick,
(02:37):
I know we spoke about this alittle bit briefly, not too long
ago, but I know it wasit was something along along the lines of
how would you go about communicating withyour friends respectfully to make better decisions when
rolling with a particular crowd gotch likeyou know what I mean, like dive
(03:00):
deep into that, like in termsof like what I what's your thoughts on
that? Okay, So actually recently, you know, I had a a
homeboy and this this is one ofmy guys that he ok tells me his
dreams aspirational, you know, ofwhat he wants to do. You know.
Of course I'm supportive, like,yeah, bro, you can do
it y, you know, butI feel like right now he not exactly
(03:21):
around the people who sho he shouldbe. I feel like he he in
the midst of trying to motivate hisselfand also motivate the people around him to
get on mentally at least what he'son. Hh. Okay, Okay,
I'm here. So nevertheless, youknow, he came to me with the
idea and and crazy enough when wewere talking, I told him like,
bro, when you get when youget your stuff going right, that's gonna
(03:42):
be motivating to be you feel me, big facts, big facts. And
it was a three way call.It was me and him and my other
boys. So yeah, we Ifeel like, in a most respectful way,
we're telling him like, yo,you got your part, you got
your potential, but need to stopstop wasting time with the people you're around.
Like while you wasting these while youwasting time with these people. Oh
can be solo brainstorming or just gettingstuff together by yourself. But since you're
(04:04):
around the wrong crowd, you allthat, I mean all the time,
you got it. And you know, you know, for the viewers out
there, you know, it's it'sdifferent. It's a little different, you
know what I mean. You guyscould probably relate to this situation, but
I do understand it because you knowwhat I mean. It's like sometimes I
(04:25):
don't know, if you know,the same birds of the same feathers flock
together, but but not necessarily inthe in the in the same context that
they're doing the same things and andnot to know, like I don't know,
like in terms of how close theirfriends are or how tight niche they're
(04:46):
their their their their relationship is withit with his people's. But I do
believe that everybody, like if youwith your own crewp people, like,
if you're with your own crew,like I'm assuming that you guys you know,
mean well for each other. Butat the same time, I do
(05:10):
understand where you're coming from because yo, like I could be doing one thing,
but then they could be doing awhole different things. But at the
same time, it don't coexist withwith what you got going on. It
kind of happened with me with like, you know, we're playing ball,
Like Yo, I was always inthe gym while my peoples were always out
partying. So it's kind of like, yo, bro, I can't even
(05:30):
go because I gotta go to thegym. Damn bro, you want you
want this whole workout to like yo, you know what I mean. So
it's just like they mean well andthey're still within my life, but like,
at the same time, I getit. Sometimes in certain situations like
that, you can be Yeah,it's a tough spot. Overall, you
(05:56):
definitely want to just be positive,I mean, and that's what you gotta
do. Yeah, yeah, becauseI mean if this person really your friend,
you can see the potential you know, and you know and the people
around you you know, so youdefinitely just want to stay positive. Don't
go you don't want to go negativewith your people and make them make him
pick right, Yeah, you knowwhat I mean? You and he's right,
(06:17):
you know what I mean. Likein terms of being able to communicate
with that, with with your withyour close friend, certificant other or whatever
the case is, like, youdo have to choose your words, Biseley
when it comes down to like yo, big dog yo, I think you
should focus on this boom boom.Maybe not go out clubbing with them every
week, maybe twice a month,you know what I mean, Like,
(06:40):
but try to make that happy medianwhere you know what I mean? Like
you you're not playing tugo war,right, I mean, and honestly you
gotta think even for you know,somebody like you, you don't got time
to play tug awards. Exact conversationsare are sparse, you know, like
super you know, like we don'tgot time to you don't got time to
be put somebody long you're trying toget your own stuff going bingo. Yeah,
(07:04):
damn man, they shout out toyou. I ain't know live man.
That's all tough, bro, that'ssuper tough. That's super tough.
I do have this question for you. How does one maintain their previous relationship
with a person when you're leveling upand they're not. Once again, how
does one maintain their previous relationship witha person when you're leveling up? You
(07:29):
know, I know a lot ofpeople go through this. Got you.
I feel like this definitely in theworld we live in now, your friends
see it. At least they cansee it, possibly on social media.
They're around you, they can seethat, like all right, you know
they're going somewhere there. You knowthey're you know, they're doing something.
But I think the main thing isyou don't one you don't want to put
put it in their face like whatI'm doing. Yeah, I want to
(07:50):
just keep it, keep everything genuine, you know, keep everything genuine,
and keep the friendship of friendship,like base y'all conversations around friendship. Now,
if they bring up what you're doing, if they you know, they
want help, but advice, wecan talk about that. But I think
the main thing is you don't youdon't want to as you start growing and
(08:13):
becoming this new person, you don'twant to grow that in somebody's face.
Yeah, like like making it seemlike you're better than that. Yeah,
well you know what I mean,and and and you know, to be
and to be fair, you know, there's different levels up. There's different
leveling up in terms of you couldbe leveling up from this person getting into
(08:35):
a serious relationship and you no longerdoing the whole like Yo, let's go
out, let's go grab girls,or let's or females or let's go go
talk to guys and all this extrastuff that could be a different level up.
So it doesn't have to necessarily bethat, yo, Like you gotta
level up in terms of your career, you know, finances, where you
(08:58):
live and all that extra stuff.But it is important I could dig it,
like in terms of it, youknow what I mean, keep like
maintaining that same like Yo, Theway the way I do it is by
by sharing. That makes any sense, Like you know what I mean,
Like say if I'm like, sayif I'm coming up, say if I'm
(09:22):
coming up with the finances, likesay if I'm like I'm making money,
I'm like, I'm now going toshare that opportunity with you, like yo,
big dog, oh yo, listen, Yo, I'm getting money over
here. Boom and boom, let'sgo ride. Okay, now this this
sounds this sounds bad, but youknow what I mean. That's how you
get into drug in the treat Okay, I'm like, yo, don't be
here's some o yo. Yo,I got this. I'm moving weight like
(09:45):
you know what I mean. Butat the same time, it's true,
like that's the only way that Ican maintain my my same relationship with you,
knowing you for a long time,instead of me just being like,
yeah, bro, i'm getting money, go find out how to get money.
Yeah, Like you have you hadsituations where where you've had to kind
(10:09):
of like figure it out for somebodyor or or kind of leave somebody behind.
Or I've had situations where I've toldI've gave people advice, but not
directly, more like an indirect way. You know, you may have a
friend that's in a relationship with somebody. Yeah, that's not that's not supportive
(10:31):
of of them growing you know,m I may say something I've said this
to you know, to my homies, like, Hey, I'm telling you
this, bro, Like if ifyou you know, had your whatever whatever
together, you wouldn't be dealing withthat. That's all I'm saying, bro,
Like, if you had it together, you wouldn't be dealing with that.
You know, I say it ina funny way. We just move
(10:52):
on. It ain't sounding like okay, so it's it's not like you you
low key roll to them like Yo, this is your fault, my boy,
like that. You know, yourgenuine friend, your genuine friends,
they gonna take it like people that'sreally that that's really ten toes down with
you. They're gonna be like,yeah, you ain't lying, big dog.
They're not gonna they're not gonna takeit offensively. But then you know
the people that really don't mess withyou like that. What you mean right
(11:15):
right? You know what I mean? I mean what I'm talking about?
What do you do do? Like, has there ever been a situation where
like you felt that you came acrossor you you you went into it in
terms and it was not the sincereway that you wanted it to be,
(11:41):
Like you know what I mean,you meant well, but you could have
done it better. Honestly, I'mgonna say no, you you tread lightly.
Yeah, I feel I try to. I don't try to just go
hard on people. I try tolike give you a little bit of advice
and hey, I'm gonna leave itat that. I gotta get back to
what I'm doing. I'm gonna giveyou a little bit of advice and just
(12:01):
gonna leave it at that. ButI ain't gonna let it now. It's
different with my little brother, likeokay, yeah, yeah that's different.
That's different. So with the fam, the family is different. You go
ahead, it's like you ain't goingnowhere. You feel me, Yeah,
like I ain't gonna let this.There's certain family out there, yo that
they hitting the bricks. I know, I know you did have this other
(12:26):
question. Do you feel do youdeal with impostor syndrome sometimes when you grow
or go into a new spaces personallyI have. So, yeah, this
is important. People listen to thisbecause you know what I mean before you
(12:48):
go in, Like you know whatI mean, because a lot of people
start new jobs, all this extrastuff and like these are considered new spaces
people like you know what I mean, So you have to be mindful like
this is this is definitely something thatsomebody or a lot of people going through
the go ahead, bro. Soyeah, it happened on at my first
job. So you know, Icame out here. I work in actual
(13:09):
science. Actual science is like thestatistical slash like predictions side of insurance.
Oh so you're like a nerd,you know, ain't nothing wrong with that,
big dog. He's like, yeah, yeah, no, I am
a nerd. Yeah. So butwhen I started, you know, you
know, when I started, bro, I was essentially the only person in
(13:31):
the office that looked like me.Oh you was the only khaki color you
feel me? Okay? Then,so you know I'm in there definitely waffle
color go ahead, you know.And it was I mean, I wasn't
surprised. I knew it was goingto be like that. But actually in
the environment when you you know,it's just like you, and then you
got to figure out the politics andhow often you know, how the office
(13:52):
works. Yeah, who really hadyour best interest in things from it?
In my case, it did workout with my people around me to have
my best interest, so they wereable to help me grow. But initially,
I want to say, the firstyear or so I definitely felt like,
you know, do I belong here? Am I smart enough? Like
M so you? Yeah, youhad doubts and all that extra stuff.
Okay, okay, show, Butit kind of it went away after after
(14:16):
I passed my first exam as awhile working, like I passed one in
college, and I passed my secondone while working. After I passed that
one, I'm like, Yo,you're supposed to be here like okay,
okay, all right, So likethat that was that was your syndrome in
terms of being like yo, likeyou. Now that wasn't when I wasn't
(14:39):
based off of your knowledge or justbased off of your surroundings, because I
know you did mention the whole thing, like yo, you was the only
khaki color brother out there. Butbut like, was it was that predominantly
it or was it like yo?It was a combination of both. And
and I say from an I wasa standpoint sometimes And that's when I say
(15:01):
about the politics of knowing, likewho has your best interest? Because some
people, you know, when you'reworking with people, some people for you
decide like, hey, this iswhat it you know it really is,
like you're good, calm down,you learn it. Then other people,
may you know, try to playwith you know, play with your emotions
a little bit and make it seemlike you're supposed to know this. Mmm,
you know, and you just throwextra dout on you. But it
(15:24):
wasn't until I started meeting other peoplein the company. I'm like, man,
don't nobody know nothing? Hold on, you know, you'll learning,
Greig, don't know nothing about what'sgoing on? Greg? Yeah, So
when that when when it started goinglike that, when I started meeting other
people, I'll figured out like,hey, we all learning together, Like
yeah, good, calm down,you know, give your best effort every
(15:48):
day and every you know, everythinga fall, you know, falling place.
Man, I ain't gonna hold you, but dog, yeah I got
a clock. It's true though,like you know what I mean, Like
we deal with it differently, youknow, and it doesn't matter wherever you're
at people, you know, it'sit's different ways on being able to deal
with certain stuff. Is you know, the way I deal with it is
(16:15):
I I don't. I'm the wayI am no matter what or where am
I wherever am I at. Soit's kind of like that's one of those
things where it kind of lightens themood for a lot of people, meaning
that you know what I mean,if I don't have to change who I
am, like on a daily basis, or like oh say if like if
(16:38):
we're going to the bar later,or say if we're going if we're in
the we're in the office. Obviously, you know, professional professionalism is you
know, the everyday thing, butit's it shows your character in terms of
being like yo damn yo. Rickis a he's the same way in the
office in alcohol office, like he'snot like, he's not somebody that I
(17:00):
know it's gonna change on me,you know what I mean. So I
feel like a lot of times peoplelike when you have that, when you
have the ability to do that,a lot of people gravitate to you more
because they think that you're more genuine. And that's and that's just for me
from my perspective, you know whatI mean, obviously, Like we all
share different perspectives and we all sharedifferent characters where you know what I mean,
(17:22):
Like you might go through a certainthing like this, I might go
through certain things like this, butyou know what I mean, that's how
I deal with it, you knowwhat I mean. I take I take
everyone for the grain of salt andbe like, yo, you're a real
one or something like that, untilyou do something where it's like yo,
bro yep, that was something,you know what I mean? Yeah,
(17:47):
yeah, he said. Let meask you this, How does one encourage
their significant other to unlock their potentialgreatness without seeming controlling? Once again,
how does one person encourage their significantother to unlock their potential greatness without seeming
(18:11):
controlling? Okay, go ahead,be though. I really think a lot
of things, a lot of success, at least in my life, it
starts in the gym, Like it'sokay, you know, of course you're
gonna gonna get the physical results youlike you benched like three fifteen. But
I think a lot of it startsin the gym. So I've had people
(18:33):
that I've dated and I've gotten themto start going to the gym, but
to explain to them that, like, this isn't about only the physical results
that you're gonna get from it,Like mentally you're gonna get tough for you
pushing yourself through something that's gonna carryover to other things. Yeah. Yeah,
I mean most of the people updated, they you know, they they
go do their job. They dotheir job well, but you need to
(18:56):
I need to need more, youknow, we need we need to have
a mind instead of we gotta domore. We need to be more active,
we need to Okay, yeah,and I feel like a lot of
success starts that starts. Okay,no, I mit you. I'm with
you on that. I'm with youon that. Like but in the sense
that you know what I mean isdo you think that's there, that that's
(19:18):
their great potential? You know whatI mean? Like, my thing is
just like sometimes you know what Imean, Like I hear what you're saying,
Like in terms of you building somethingwith your significant other in order to
become more greater together and all theextra stuff, you know, health as
well, all that extra stuff,but in terms of unlocking their true potential
in terms of being like yo,listen, like like if your significant other
(19:41):
wasn't great artist, right, butat the same time you never see her
draw? Hey man, were aboutto go to the you know what I
mean? Like yeah, so likelike yeah, that's my thing. My
thing is just like yeah, Iwould, I personally, I would.
I'll take you to the Museum ofScience, I'll go to Arts and Craft
I'll do what's that what's a thingcalled wine? Something like that? When
(20:02):
you drawn at the end of theday. Though, even with things like
that, I give you a littlepush, but you gotta be you gotta
want it. You gotta want it. But a lot of times, like
you know, and I and Iand I do and people could probably resonate
with with with us and on thisconversation, I feel like a lot of
times people are not go get us. You have to kind of tell them.
(20:26):
Sometimes it's like I hear I hearthat from you in terms of be
like yo, I could lead ahorse to water, but I can't make
them drink it type type ship.Like so like my whole thing is just
like but sometimes certain people need needto be told what to do because it's
like and and you you're in aphysical like you and LEGITM and all that
(20:47):
stuff. Like think about it fromfrom from that perspective, like how many
how many people have you probably trainedwith that you know they could do it,
but they're like, how many youwant me to do? Like you
know what I mean? Like yousee what I'm saying too, Yeah,
I think you got to be ableto know how to create a situation that
(21:14):
works for them me mostally, andwhen I say mostly like let them know
that, you know, you're proudof them, Like why it's going on?
Like keep it going? Like Isay this because I worked out with
different people and you, you know, you in shape, so you already
go at a certain level. Correct. But what I learned, like early
(21:34):
on, when I was working outwith certain people, I was being like
more like, come on, likeyou can do it, like stop,
you know, well, I'm tryingto motivate you, but it's coming from
a negative side. I hear whatyou're saying. But when I flipped it,
and even for the smallest things likehey, good job, good job,
like okay, like you ain't youknow, you don't have to do
it all, but you're good.You're good. Like so you're the type
(21:56):
that he's the type that everyone getsa trophy. Hey, but not not
wrong with that, you know,I mean, hey, this is the
dude that hey, this dude squadwith no hands. Okay, first,
so we already we already know howyou wired. Well, you know everybody
(22:17):
everybody don't got that intensity. Nowyou're right, you're right, so and
you're right the way that you're goingabout it is is the it's it's the
teacher way, and that's how people. A lot of times people respond better
by positivity. They're gonna respond better. But like if if you're right,
you're you're absolutely right in terms oflike yo, if you're too aggressive with
(22:38):
them, you might lose them.You might lose them in terms of being
like yo, damn chill, Ilike yo, chill dog, Like I'm
good, Like I can't do onethirty five, like you know what I
mean, Like and it'd be likethat, it'd be like that, But
I find it with people like everybodyguys, like you know, you just
gotta find that happy met where whereit's like you said, like it's not
(23:04):
too controlling, you're not like yo, yo do this, do this,
but you gotta actually want it tofeel me on that type of vibe.
Listen, I know we in thenew year, big dog, I gotta
do this. Man, What's like? What what is your resolution? Bro?
Like we we don't got to godeep into this, man, but
(23:25):
like what is what is like?How do you go about doing your resolutions?
Like you know what I mean,Honestly, I'm not gonna and resolution.
I'm kind of unconventional, like Idon't do I don't okay, I
don't do dless times day damn.I'm more like with certain things, I'm
(23:45):
not gonna lie. I want tobe on my own time, and you
know I want you, Yeah,I want to be on my own time,
and I want to be able tocreate a solution for something in March.
You know, if I see somethinglike I need to change this or
whatever. So honestly, I neverI've never done I'm not gonna see I've
never done it. I'm more like, yo, I'm gonna get it done
(24:06):
when it's time. When I seesomething, you see some changes I need
to make, I'm gonna start workingon the changes. But I'm not gonna
give myself the facade of like,hey, it's is January, I'm gonna
start doing this. Yeah. No, no, I hear what you're saying
because I'm I'm with you. I'mwith you on that because I feel like
a lot of people well you knowwhat I mean. I just feel like
a lot of people. And wetalk about this all the time with the
(24:29):
other guys on the show, butlike we talk about how people are very
not I got you not. No, I wanna say not genuine but not
they just they just say it tosay it because it's it's for the time,
it's for the time being. Likeyo, I'm just gonna say it
just for right now because it iswhat it is. But in actuality,
(24:51):
nah, bro, like you knowwhat I mean, Like I my resolutions,
people, is the same thing everyyear for real. I mean I
know people that you know, fiveyears ago they said they was you know,
five years ago, they said theywere gonna be leaving this person.
We're gonna stop dating. Oh man, there's some families built now. It's
(25:14):
not. It's true though, becauseI just tell my my resolution every year
is just just like this, people, keep your promises. That's my resolution
every year, keep your promises.A But now I make small goals.
Every year. I make smaller newgoals where it's just like yo, bro,
that's it. That's all I wantyou to do, big dog.
(25:37):
My advice to you guys, youknow, bringing in this new year,
folks, do what works for you. Get the small wins, okay,
guys, Like, don't don't dothese these over the top like, oh
my god, this year, I'musing twenty pounds. Let's start at five.
Let's start at five. Let's startby saying, yo, I'm not
(25:59):
gonna eat cookies and shit like orlet's start you know, it's little things,
bro, But but a lot ofa lot of people don't realize how
big those little things become. Buteverybody wants to do like, no,
I'm gonna lose thirty pounds, I'mgonna go to it, and then they're
be so upset at their failures becauseyou you set the bar so high,
(26:19):
right and you know what I mean, in the life that we're in now
was just like yo, bro,you gotta chill. You got a bet
out there, like one day ata time. That's fact that damn.
Okay, listen man, before wewrap it up, man, I need
you to tell me some positive ornegative man, or you could do some
toxic stuff. Okay, I'm gonnago positive. I'm gonna go positive,
(26:45):
all right, yo. Like Iwas telling you earlier. With my field,
it's a lot of actual exams.Yeah, man, up to this
point, I feeled more exams thenI passed. You know, I passed.
Just keep it, you know.But the thing is your failures is
a part of the process. Likewhen when you look back at it,
when you get what you want.It's not a loss, is a lesson,
(27:07):
it's a lesson like, hey,that was just part of the process.
But yeah, happy at the endof the day, when you keep
going, you're gonna be more happywith yourself and most probably a lifestyle too
when you keep going, Like hey, quitters don't get rewarded, you know,
So no matter what, keep pushingthrough it. Like if it's hey,
you maybe you may be going througha little drought, but you gotta
(27:30):
know if if you built a certainway, you're gonna come out of it.
You know you're gonna be dead.So like you wanted for office,
Man, that's crazy. It's likeyo, man, Like nah, man,
just to piggyback off that man.You ain't lying, man, guys,
you know it's a new year.I ain't gonna you know what I
(27:52):
did tell him, I was gonnabe toxic. But I was like,
you know, it's a new year, bro, you know, let me
just be positive really quick, juststay focused, be mindful, and like
I said, man, take thelittle wins. Little winds are gonna get
you closer and closer to the biggerwins. You know what I mean.
You got a chip, chip chipat it, stay great, stay in
(28:15):
shape, Happy New Years? Yeah, that's it. Oh yeah, Actually
on rick where can they know reachyou guys at or reach you at?
Oh yeah, So I'm on Instagramat ricky R I c k y money
instead of instead of a oh it'sa zero. So maybe I'm put it
(28:36):
right at the bottom. You seeyou guys? You see it? Yeah,
is at the bottom right there?That's it. You know, Hey,
that's it. That's just a justInstagram So checking it out. I'm
gonna I'm gonna start posting some workoutvideos. Ok kind of trainer. I'm
not going that route. It's morelike a workout experience in the gym of
like me working out with different peoplein the gym and getting their perspective while
(28:56):
they work out, and you knowwhat keeps them going? All right?
This count right? You can trademe. This dude squatting with no hands.
He's squatting. He's squatting four orfive. We know him. There's
a lot of germs on that barman. You already know that. I
haven't seen it in real life,you know. So hey man, this
(29:18):
is the big day. This dudedon't need no training. I always need
trading man. I always need helpfrom people. Man, listen. But
but guys, I want to thankyou guys for walking out with us for
a new episode or another episode ofBeing's constquence is off the books. I
want to thank my man Rick forcoming through you do you already know the
vibes man, But God, staysafe, be blessed, Happy New Years. Fightations,
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