AJ (@ajandhisbackpack) and Guy (@gahel97_) are here to stir the pot! In this lively episode, the duo dives headfirst into the whirlwind of dating multiple people simultaneously. They dissect the mental, financial, and physical tolls of juggling romances like pros. When's the right time to hang up your player hat and settle down? AJ and Guy have got you covered with candid insights and personal anecdotes. But wait, there's more! They spill the tea on the good, the bad, and the downright ugly sides of having options in the dating scene. Tune in!!
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(00:00):
Of ed Ja McLaughlin. I'm RyanRuie, I'm DJ Rich Receive the Tough
four. I'm Plinny Martinez and weare the hosts of Opinions of Consequences,
the podcast, the show where Europeanscan lead to consequences. So choose your
words, wiselyss enjoy the show.Cheer, cheer, guys. Man Yo,
(00:27):
welcome back to another episode of ApeansConsequences off the books. Guys,
guys, you already know this isthe condemned shortened version of the full episode.
But you already know, guys,you know this is the thought provoking,
sometimes controversial, but always entertaining conversationalepisode and show. Guys, Man,
(00:48):
I got a guest in the building. Man, I want to welcome
God to the building. What's fuckingyou do? And God? Me's coming
from works. Hear that people,he's a working man. He's a working
man people every single day. BroOkay, then okay, then I ain't
gonna lie. When you came tothe door, I was like, no,
I don't, I don't want Idon't want a vacuum. I don't
(01:11):
want a vacuum. I didn't.I didn't even know what to expect.
And I was like man, Idon't know if I should bring like extra
clothes they changed first. See that'swhat you said you dressed was successful.
Basically, let me ask you this, since you're dress, like, do
you feel that it does energize andelevate your game? Uh? Yeah,
I think so because like no matterlike what you weary kind of like feed
(01:34):
off that energy. So like ifyou go to the gym, if you
dress nice, if you put anice black workout outfit on, like you
feel like you do a better workout. So like if I go out,
because you never know who you're gonnameet, so you guys gotta look And
that's when my mom always told me, so do you feel like you see?
And it's interesting because you know Iwas like that on a football feel
like yo, you know you lookgood, play good type thing. And
I know you play ball, youknow what I mean. So like it's
(01:57):
it's just one of those things whereI don't know if like you know what
I mean, we all came upfrom the mud, like you know what
I mean. I know we hadto be scrubs at one time, but
like you really feel like it elevatesyour game? I think so? Yeah,
I mean, why do you thinkall these like professional athletes they go
through like the walkway all dressed andlike super crazy outfits and whatnot. Feel
(02:19):
mean, So that's how it is. Okay, Okay, guys, we're
gonna get right into it. Guys. Listen, man, oh man,
this episode is gonna get really crazy. Guys. Listen, man, listen.
Let me ask you this question.Man, Can we talk about the
effects of dating multiple multiple people simultaneouslymentally, physically and financially, et cetera.
(02:44):
What's up? Talk to me.I'm to drink people little drinks.
Oh, I know as men,obviously we've all done it. Yes,
we're gonna keep it real. Butlike you gotta be a certain type of
person to do it. So it'snot it's not for everybody, No,
it does. Like it takes alot of wear and tear, like on
your mind, like you said,physical and stuff like that, emotional,
(03:04):
so like you have to be likementally prepared of what you're getting yourself into.
Okay, Like what do you like, what do you think are some
of the facts of it? Likeyou know what I mean, as like
you know, dating those multiple people, like you know what I mean.
Let's let's let's put a situation onhand. And now guys, I'm not
I'm not talking like we're not talkingabout like you being in a relationship and
(03:27):
all that stuff. Now, youguys got to realize, like you know,
when you're going through a whole datingprocess of you know, taking applications,
this is the process that you prettymuch have to go through, like
you have to go through the processof you know, you know, weaving
out who you want to talk to, who you don't want to talk to.
So we're talking about this portion ofit, you know what I mean,
(03:50):
because you know, like, ohmy god, you guys are cheating.
See men cheat, I see,you know what I mean because you
don't know, but women women dothe same things. They were word differently
like no, I would consider ittrying my options. I don't want to
be with the dead beat. Okay, that exactly. What are some of
the effects that you think, likeI said, financially, mentally, spiritually
(04:16):
that may result in you wanting tonot do it anymore, like wanting to
not like date multiple people. Butbasically, the way I see it,
once you start dating multiple multiple people, you start figuring out what you allow
and what you won't Alloway I likethat. I like that what you like,
accepting what you want. So that'show I feel like you're dating so
(04:40):
many people like different personalities, differentcharacteristics, you know, like also physically
trying to see what you're into,Like do you like them small petique girls?
You like them? Big tall girlslike exactly exactly, Like do you
like the girls who got bbls?Do you not like the girls who don't
have bbls? You know, smallbutts, big, but like all that
stuff. And you know what I'mgonna clap that up with because I do.
(05:03):
I do I feel with you becauseit's one of those things where it's
it's like mentally you get to actuallyyou know obviously like you said, like
you get to understand your needs andyour wants, what you like, what
you don't like, who's more compatiblewith you. I feel like those are
(05:26):
great effects. I think those aregreat effects for you to actually find out
who you actually that you want tobe with and who you don't want to
be with. So those effects canbe I say, good financially. Listen,
ladies, men got it bad likebecause fib you know what I mean?
In order for us to entertain,like if we're entertaining multiple people.
(05:49):
Bro, that's the bag. Yeah. Like, and on average a date
is what one fifty maybe two hundred, I probably say like two hundred two
fifties. You're trying to have likea good time because most of the time
you're not. You might not wantto go to one place. You might
want to go to somewhere else,like you might want to do something fit
(06:10):
but you know, active, andthen you want to hear somewhere to eat
the drinks and these Yeah, Ilike that list with you real quick.
Bro, there yo, listen,I just made this from scratch me.
He's the best. You make drinks, he makes food. Every who you
got this guy right here? Okay, then you heard her here first.
People, This is no joke.I made it in front of him.
(06:31):
Dogs maybe rit him from him.He's like no no bs. Spiritually,
Now, I think this is thepart where where where it can mess you
up, like you know what Imean, because I feel like you know
what I mean. When you're datingmultiple people, I feel like you have
to deal with multiple personalities and Ifeel like after after when you're around these
(06:54):
people, or it's like you're alwaysyou're ageing a different person. And then
you become like one of these peoplethat have multiple personalities and I don't know
off like you know what I mean, Like it's and it's just like,
you know what I mean, youdon't know if you could be yourself around
this person. You don't want youwant to be different around this. You
lose yourself, bro bing, golose yourself. You don't mean to lose
(07:15):
yourself. And then like you startlike trying to adapt to you know,
be better for that one person doesn'tDoes that make sense? No, it
makes perfect sense because you start youstart weaving out who you kind of want.
But then you start to and Ifeel like a lot of times and
people out there, you guys knowyou guys know, people start to how
(07:41):
can I say it change their perspectiveto meet that person, Like you know
what I mean, It's kind oflike you lose your values and you and
you kind of match that other person. Like, oh my god, I
like karts too. You never aCharacs in your life. Don't do that.
Don't do that, you know whatI mean? Like I feel like
they end up being fake about it. So I feel like spiritually, like
(08:09):
it could it could mess you up, Like both spiritually and mentally because it
takes. It takes a lot onyou, like it it does, like
you get very overwhelmed. Sometimes youstart getting agitated, especially you know,
like dealing with Shorty's if we're beinghonest, you got to like be mentally
tough, like to be doing allthat, you know, because they're dealing
with like all this emotions. Andthen like if if like if you're not
(08:30):
like I don't know what's the word, Like, if you're not like considerate,
right, if you're not considered ofemotions, you're considered like a bad
person, correct, But they don'tknow what you're going through, if that
makes sense. No, Yeah,because it's it's one of those things where
it's just like everybody wants you tobe the perfect match for them. Yeah,
And I feel like a lot oftimes, you know, especially like
in a data world, like it'sespecially when you're meeting somebody, it's you
(08:54):
don't know what's considerate, what's notconsidered You don't know, you don't I
mean, because you're obviously getting tonotice person. But all in all,
I think dating multiple people, youknow obviously respectfully people, it's it's great
(09:16):
in the sense that you know,you get to understand what you want and
what you don't want in your life, which is understandable ladies and gentlemen.
But at the same time, guyslike you know obviously like dating multiple people
at the same time. It doesIt does take a toll on you.
It does take a huge toll onyou. And like you, you either
got to figure out if you wantto just stop doing it focused on one
(09:37):
person, give it your all.You can do the one like you know
what I mean? But you Yeah, I mean some people fall into the
habit though they like can't get outof the habit. They don't know when
to quit while they're ahead. Yeah, so I feel like you need to
run the resident. I don't holdyou. I know you had something that
you wanted to talk about. Iknow you. You asks when do you
(10:01):
when do you come to realization thatyou gotta leave the game and settle down?
Yeah, you try to answer thatquestion, Okay, and then I'll
give you my answer. Listen,we got we got short time on this
one, Okay, listen, allright. I think that when you found
your match, I think when youfound your match and when you found the
(10:22):
value of not only yourself, youfound happiness and obviously we were speaking a
little bit of but I feel likeorganically it has to go good. Yeah,
that's when you make that realization thatyou're like, yo, bro,
I'm ready to settle down in shortand short go ahead, go ahead again
for me. Honestly, I thinkwhat you said is true about the organic
(10:46):
part. Like a lot of thingsare forced when two people don't get along,
And I've been a victim of that, you know, like I be
I forced a relationship while it wasnot there before, or surely did the
same thing. But you gotta understand, like sometimes as we have like a
bad habit of trying to see ifthe grass is greener on the other side
all the time, all the time. Oh, I don't know, I've
(11:07):
done that a lot, bro,I feel like we've all done that.
We're all guilty of doing that.So and and it's and it's and it's
one of those things where we justgot to know what's worth it for us.
And at the same time, it'sjust like until we actually you know,
because this is all in relevance toeverything, Once we narrowed out who's
who who we want to be with, that's when we're gonna kind of figure
(11:31):
out like, Okay, I'm happier, I'm more valued with this person.
I'm happy or more valued or caredfor from this person, you know what
I mean. But everybody has theirthings that they want to be valued for,
and like, you know what Imean. It's one of those things
where it's it's like I feel likeeveryone has I guess what's what's what's the
(11:54):
thing? The thing? The fivethe fiveanguages, which I think, which
I think is useless when if youdon't have no attractions, yeah, yeah,
no matter if no matter how hardthey try to follow that like,
it won't even work out mentally,you're not there with them if you're not
(12:15):
feelingly attracted to them and all thatextra stuff like money. I'm not okay
exactly, I mean, okay,let me ask you this though, you
know, because it's all in relevanceto everything that we're talking about. How
do you feel about having options whendating? See this way? Just try
Yeah, some people might get upset, I don't know. Keep good,
(12:41):
bad and ugly, Yeah, goodbag. And you want to start with
the ugly or the good, wecan stop with ugly. Start with the
ugly, all right. So ifyou're dating and you have options. Are
you going to try to keep itlike low key? Are you gonna try
to keep it to yourself? Areyou gonna be open about it? Which
way you're going? If I'm thinkingI'm having options, man, I'm being
(13:05):
open about it. A lot ofa lot of guys don't. A lot
of guys don't a lot of guysdon't. You know what I mean.
I feel like it comes down toit where yo, you want the the
bitter true or a sweet lives?You know what I mean. I'm gonna
be open about it. But likeI feel like having options, the ugly
(13:33):
is is the fact that you knowyou are selling yourself short You are I
guess devaluing yourself and you are limitingyourself to greater opportunities. The ugly I
(13:54):
think. I think the ugli istrying to have your cake and eat it
too. I'm feel I feel likeall of us done that because if I
Shorty told you that I have options, we're all getting tight, every every
single one. Everyone's getting again bigman, Like I'm talking about big fact.
So you're gonna get upset, Like, oh my goodness, I was
(14:16):
sick the minute he told me,Like oh yeah, Like I'm dating other
people. I'm seeing other guys.I was sick solid knowing knowing I was
doing the same. I'm taking thewhole I'm taking. I'm taking a shot
to the the whole. I'm takingthe bottle brok no ice, b at
all one strong, I'm like,no one no. Listen, guys,
and if you want to sit there, freak the funk saying like, nah,
(14:39):
you know, I'm not even likethat. Listen. Everybody like that
if you have options, especially ifyou catch feelings. Catch feelings is risy.
Catch feelings come on, and everyonehas caught feelings in any type of
optional relationship. You know what Imean. The bad I mean you you're
(15:00):
keeping it open, right, You'regonna you're gonnakeep it like a stack,
right, So if you're gonna keepit the stack with Shorty, the bad
is like, all right, youtell her. I'm like, I'm not
doing this no more. How yougonna take that? Man? See that's
the pressure, that's the pressure part. That's yeah, you have damn well.
(15:26):
She is she like like are youcool with her? Like You're like,
is she is? She? Like? Are we like? Is she
like the number one pick? Oris she like the number one first draphic.
Damn, she don't want to doit no more like just start there
right now. But she wants moretime or what you want scenario. That's
the thing if you have options,is the time thing, because it's like
(15:48):
you got a main you're right,you got like you got main, you
got the bench right and then gotthe bench players, and you've got somebody
that wants to make it exactly.That's the bad. That's what i's okay,
okays nasty, All right, let'slet's switch that up because it won't
be fair if you have the firstround draft pick. Since you want more
time, all right, cool,I'm gonna give you the more time,
(16:10):
my franchise time. Yeah, butwhat if she wants what if the one
on the on the the one that'strying to make the team, she wants
a max contract, max contract,You let her go. Ah, you
let her go and you spend minimumbag on it. No god, damn
no, no, no, no, no no no no, switch and
(16:33):
switch. It's like wait, wait, this is when you start like doing
like the pros and cons correct becauseyo, it's a salary cap man.
So you know she don't she don'task for nothing. She don't want to
see you more like at all.She'll ask Windy's when these biggie yo,
she wants five for five five,you have to keep her. Then you
(16:53):
have to keep it. She loveschicken. You have to keep it because
I don't want the one that wantslike every time, like nobody, every
single time, it's different against againstdifferent. It gets scary. So what
about the good? What about thegood in all of this and all of
(17:15):
this? What do you think isa good? You know, I'm gonna
I'm gonna keep it blind. SoI think the good is like this my
sign kind of sick. But likeif something goes bad, you always have
something to fall back on. That'sreal talk. But sureties doing the same
thing, bro. Yeah, andand and I feel like you know what
I mean. Like and once again, guys, we ain't coming at nobody.
(17:37):
We're not coming at nobody. It'sjust it's just we keep it.
We keep it a ninety three pluseleven with you, guys. My whole
thing is just like this. Whenyou're not committed to one relationship or when
you're not committed to one person,you're going through this whole dating process.
Now I'm not sitting there saying thatyou you out there gotta be sluck buckets.
I'm not saying that. I'm notsaying that. You know what I
mean, You know what I mean. But at the same time, if
(17:57):
you was in these predicted mints,it's one of those things where you know
the good is like you said,yo, if one doesn't fall through,
you could double back on another one. But at the same time, you're
losing your morals, values, allthat extra stuff. All of this stuff
comes in together. It's like agift basket, like you know what I
(18:18):
mean, like nuts, soap value, you know what I mean. Right
there, you know what I mean. So yeah, that's the whole thing,
with the whole having options with dating, Like it's it's good to a
point, to a certain point whenyou get tired of having to juggle,
yeah, because sometimes like once youyou might have something, the other one
(18:40):
doesn't correct. But that's when youget stuck in that loop though, and
then that's where you understand, like, and that's in coming back to this.
This is about knowing what you actuallywant, you know what I mean.
Until you know what you actually want, this is where you're gonna be
like, you know what I can'tdo this no more. I don't want
to do this no more. Iwanted to live this life. I don't
want to live this life. Yeah, oh man, yet listen, okay,
(19:10):
expectations and reality. What do youdo when you have a dynamic we're
for Shorty then eventually wants something more. This happens all the time, every
single time I'm telling you this,When this one she gets scary, real
scary. Okay, because you gotto understand who you are as a person,
(19:34):
as a man. Now now nowlook tell me, tell me,
tell me, tell me to comeup to the build up to this.
Like, so the dynamic was Shortyis that is she already yours or or
she's in the in the phase ofsomething that because it seems like, yo,
you don't want you don't want tobe committed with her. You don't
(19:56):
you're not ready to take it tothe next level. That's means right,
No, that's that's what I'm saying, Like, that's what that's what That's
how I'm reading it. So tellingme, like you know what I mean,
Like, my whole thing is yougot to ask her what she's used
to though. You got to getall the guys like like I've I've met
shorty who like oh yeah, likeI've gone to so and so places with
this guy. This guy took meout to this and I mean you feel
(20:18):
me, yeah, but you gotto understand who you areasa guy? Are
you a guy who has those deeppockets that can provide all that stuff?
Bro? If not see you know, I love how you say that because
you know it's it's not tricking ifyou got it. It's not tricking if
you got it. But it's oneof those things where it's not I don't
(20:40):
feel like it's it's real, Likeyou know what I mean. If I'm
always buying you something, it's justlike eh, it lose value, meaning
there is no value, Like youknow what I mean if I'm just taking
you out to dinner all the time, if I'm taking you out over here
blah, we go to roof Chrise, we go to Ocean Prime, we
go to Capitol Grill and all theextra shit like yeah, I do ship,
(21:00):
but it's like are you are youdoing that to keep her happy?
To keep her around? Because theminute the minute you say like, oh
I can't take you to the whatevername spot that it is right and then
she gets mad. Now what becausethe minute I see that, I'm off,
then I'm done. Like you're weird, bro, bro. But but
you I feel like a lot oftimes I feel like you know, and
(21:23):
I'm gonna tell you, oh man, all right. So my whole thing
is like this. I feel likewith anybody that you're if you're talking to
anybody ladies and gentlemen, I feellike there has to be a hierarchy,
there has to be a level up. Like I feel that the tax bracket
correct. So I feel like ifyou're first talking to a shorty, I'm
(21:44):
not telling you to take them totake them to take them to the park
or something like that. I'm nottelling you to do that, but like,
at the same time, make itmake sense, like take her to
somewhere where where where where I don'twant to say it's affordable, but somewhere
where you guys can engage have thatconversation. You're not you're not hurting the
pockets like that. But at thesame beause, But then again, it's
just like one of those things wherenow you level up based off of how
(22:07):
much you guys are interacting and gettingto know each other. Because if you
take it to the top of thetop all the time. What if you
want to celebrate something one day,We're gonna take it exactly capitol gril.
I don't know how p G tV. I. So listen, a
(22:29):
lot of a lot of niggas outhere. They be doing the most on
the first date response about Disney.That's met a lot of a lot of
guys out there. Bro. Theythe first date, they feel like they
(22:51):
gotta show out, and that's mymy first Never set the expectation high.
You can't. I'm not. I'mnot flying a shorty out to wherever Miami.
No, I'm not doing that onthe first on the first link up
is crazy, stupid, You're crazy? Is crazy. So I don't know,
it's it's all about the expectation yousaid in the beginning. Okay,
(23:15):
let me double back, but I'mgonna ask you this on that on that
topic, So, what do youthink is a fair starting point in dating
somebody for the first We're gonna dofirst three months? Where where we where?
What restaurants are deemed acceptable to takethem to? First three months?
(23:37):
The first three So what I doI do like this whole like this,
like checkless thing whenever I start talkingto a shorty, like I always try
to figure out who she is asa person with you, like where you
grew up, like where you grewup, like where you went to school
with your family? Like you feelme like where do you like to hang
out with your friends? Who areyour friends? Auditor feel me? So
(24:00):
like I do this whole checklist thing, like I'm out here speeling like the
like my whole entire plan, butlike that's what I do. But no,
it's fair though, and then onceI once I get all my answers
off, that that's when I'm justlike, all right, Like, you're
a shorty who's like super active.You like to do like activity stuff.
So I'm gonna take you to liketop golf. Okay, I'm gonna take
you to like level ninety nine orall these like fun little active stuff.
(24:21):
But if you're like, you know, like high class whatever quote, like
you're a shorty who likes to goto fancy bars like those low lit restaurants,
and I'm like I kind of understandwho you are, so okay,
so do you do you entertain that? Do you entertain the fact that yo,
you a high sedity fogie ass bitchrespectfully, bitch expactly respectfully. I
(24:45):
h not the one. The one. Do I entertain that. I entertained
that to a point, m toa point because I want to see if
she's humble about it. So whatis it like three hundred dollars a point?
I'm not spending three hundred dollars everyweek? Bro on, Mama,
Bros, I'm not doing it's thatidea. Not yet, not not yet
(25:11):
now. Yeah, I'm not.I'm not broke. I'm not saying I'm
broke down. I know a lotof people out here gonna be like this,
nigga's broke. No, bro that'sthe easy way. But you know
what it is, everybody count See, this is what it is with people.
People always count what their pockets don'thave. They always look at people
like based off of their pocket,not their pockets, on other people's pockets.
(25:32):
They're like, oh, you're broke. You're broke, sweetheart. You
don't go to Capitol girl every day? Exactly, sweetheart, you go to
Chipotle exactly, you make a tuneof fish sandwich for lunch? Exactly?
Can I take you there for exactly? Like you don't even take yourself there?
Come on, yeah, and I'llbe I'll be very transparent. I
believe I'll be very transparent. LikeI'm the type of guy who likes to
(25:52):
please a lot of a lot ofwomen. You feel me so, like,
I'll be very transparent about that,Like I'll do the like sometimes i'll
do the most, you know,like if you're happy about it, I'll
do it. You feel me soabout to be like, I'm keeping it
real, bro, I'm keeping itreal. There's been many times where like,
you know, like if you rathergo here and like I'm not feeling
it, I'll do it anyways.Bro. No, No, I'm for
(26:15):
the cause, for the cost,for the cost too. Yeah, but
I feel you want to There hasto be a point where it's like I
like, I don't want you toget like too comfortable, Like I don't
want to be doing too much,and then you expect this every single time,
Yeah, because then that's what you'resetting a bar high. Exactly.
Yeah. Listen, before we getout of here, you got anything positive
that you want to feedback to theviewers and listeners out there, Anything positive
(26:41):
or toxic I can give you bothof you, all right, Something positive
is self respect. Listen, Listen, bro. Like a lot of us,
like especially men, we fall underthe the illusion of like vagina a
lot you feel me like if shefucks you good and you know like she
she makes you feel the right waycool, But like at a certain point
(27:03):
you gotta find the level of selfrespect you feel me also, you gotta
figure that out. So as fortoxic, as for toxic, man,
do what you gotta do, butbe safe. Do what you gotta do,
but be safe and do your bestnot to get caught up. Because
(27:27):
the many you get caught up,your whole entire towers falling down. Yo.
I ain't gonna hold you. Ilove I love it, I love
it. A little bit of wordsof wisdom people, before I go.
You've ever been with somebody that liesso much that you just go ahead with
(27:51):
the lie? You go along withthe lie just because you don't want to
argue with them. Yeah, morethe story, people, I don't cheat.
If I get mad at you,yeah, I just go get food
without you for a whole day.That's just me. I love my piece.
(28:12):
I love my piece. I won'ttalk to you all day and I'll
be completely fine. I'm going thewhole day without you, with on food.
I'll be on the whole week,two weeks. I don't know.
I love pettiness is crazy. ThinkI got a nail polish in the car.
Come on, but listen, man. I want to thank you guys
(28:34):
for walking out with us for anotherepisode of Peace Consoles off the books.
I got my man Guy in thebuilding. What's your I G. Instagram
is Guy on ninety seven. That'sG A H E L ninety seven underscore.
I'll be the only one that you'llsee. I'm there. Oh ship,
you said his voice though he gotit. Yeah, so you know
you don't have to retreat. ButGuy's been till next time. Man,
(28:57):
Salutations easy,
Of ed Ja McLaughlin. I'm RyanRuie, I'm DJ Rich Receive the Tough
four. I'm Plinny Martinez and weare the hosts of Opinions of Consequences,
the podcast, the show where Europeanscan lead to consequences. So choose your
words, wiselyss enjoy the show.Cheer, cheer, guys. Man Yo,
(00:27):
welcome back to another episode of ApeansConsequences off the books. Guys,
guys, you already know this isthe condemned shortened version of the full episode.
But you already know, guys,you know this is the thought provoking,
sometimes controversial, but always entertaining conversationalepisode and show. Guys, Man,
(00:48):
I got a guest in the building. Man, I want to welcome
God to the building. What's fuckingyou do? And God? Me's coming
from works. Hear that people,he's a working man. He's a working
man people every single day. BroOkay, then okay, then I ain't
gonna lie. When you came tothe door, I was like, no,
I don't, I don't want Idon't want a vacuum. I don't
(01:11):
want a vacuum. I didn't.I didn't even know what to expect.
And I was like man, Idon't know if I should bring like extra
clothes they changed first. See that'swhat you said you dressed was successful.
Basically, let me ask you this, since you're dress, like, do
you feel that it does energize andelevate your game? Uh? Yeah,
I think so because like no matterlike what you weary kind of like feed
(01:34):
off that energy. So like ifyou go to the gym, if you
dress nice, if you put anice black workout outfit on, like you
feel like you do a better workout. So like if I go out,
because you never know who you're gonnameet, so you guys gotta look And
that's when my mom always told me, so do you feel like you see?
And it's interesting because you know Iwas like that on a football feel
like yo, you know you lookgood, play good type thing. And
I know you play ball, youknow what I mean. So like it's
(01:57):
it's just one of those things whereI don't know if like you know what
I mean, we all came upfrom the mud, like you know what
I mean. I know we hadto be scrubs at one time, but
like you really feel like it elevatesyour game? I think so? Yeah,
I mean, why do you thinkall these like professional athletes they go
through like the walkway all dressed andlike super crazy outfits and whatnot. Feel
(02:19):
mean, So that's how it is. Okay, Okay, guys, we're
gonna get right into it. Guys. Listen, man, oh man,
this episode is gonna get really crazy. Guys. Listen, man, listen.
Let me ask you this question.Man, Can we talk about the
effects of dating multiple multiple people simultaneouslymentally, physically and financially, et cetera.
(02:44):
What's up? Talk to me.I'm to drink people little drinks.
Oh, I know as men,obviously we've all done it. Yes,
we're gonna keep it real. Butlike you gotta be a certain type of
person to do it. So it'snot it's not for everybody, No,
it does. Like it takes alot of wear and tear, like on
your mind, like you said,physical and stuff like that, emotional,
(03:04):
so like you have to be likementally prepared of what you're getting yourself into.
Okay, Like what do you like, what do you think are some
of the facts of it? Likeyou know what I mean, as like
you know, dating those multiple people, like you know what I mean.
Let's let's let's put a situation onhand. And now guys, I'm not
I'm not talking like we're not talkingabout like you being in a relationship and
(03:27):
all that stuff. Now, youguys got to realize, like you know,
when you're going through a whole datingprocess of you know, taking applications,
this is the process that you prettymuch have to go through, like
you have to go through the processof you know, you know, weaving
out who you want to talk to, who you don't want to talk to.
So we're talking about this portion ofit, you know what I mean,
(03:50):
because you know, like, ohmy god, you guys are cheating.
See men cheat, I see,you know what I mean because you
don't know, but women women dothe same things. They were word differently
like no, I would consider ittrying my options. I don't want to
be with the dead beat. Okay, that exactly. What are some of
the effects that you think, likeI said, financially, mentally, spiritually
(04:16):
that may result in you wanting tonot do it anymore, like wanting to
not like date multiple people. Butbasically, the way I see it,
once you start dating multiple multiple people, you start figuring out what you allow
and what you won't Alloway I likethat. I like that what you like,
accepting what you want. So that'show I feel like you're dating so
(04:40):
many people like different personalities, differentcharacteristics, you know, like also physically
trying to see what you're into,Like do you like them small petique girls?
You like them? Big tall girlslike exactly exactly, Like do you
like the girls who got bbls?Do you not like the girls who don't
have bbls? You know, smallbutts, big, but like all that
stuff. And you know what I'mgonna clap that up with because I do.
(05:03):
I do I feel with you becauseit's one of those things where it's
it's like mentally you get to actuallyyou know obviously like you said, like
you get to understand your needs andyour wants, what you like, what
you don't like, who's more compatiblewith you. I feel like those are
(05:26):
great effects. I think those aregreat effects for you to actually find out
who you actually that you want tobe with and who you don't want to
be with. So those effects canbe I say, good financially. Listen,
ladies, men got it bad likebecause fib you know what I mean?
In order for us to entertain,like if we're entertaining multiple people.
(05:49):
Bro, that's the bag. Yeah. Like, and on average a date
is what one fifty maybe two hundred, I probably say like two hundred two
fifties. You're trying to have likea good time because most of the time
you're not. You might not wantto go to one place. You might
want to go to somewhere else,like you might want to do something fit
(06:10):
but you know, active, andthen you want to hear somewhere to eat
the drinks and these Yeah, Ilike that list with you real quick.
Bro, there yo, listen,I just made this from scratch me.
He's the best. You make drinks, he makes food. Every who you
got this guy right here? Okay, then you heard her here first.
People, This is no joke.I made it in front of him.
(06:31):
Dogs maybe rit him from him.He's like no no bs. Spiritually,
Now, I think this is thepart where where where it can mess you
up, like you know what Imean, because I feel like you know
what I mean. When you're datingmultiple people, I feel like you have
to deal with multiple personalities and Ifeel like after after when you're around these
(06:54):
people, or it's like you're alwaysyou're ageing a different person. And then
you become like one of these peoplethat have multiple personalities and I don't know
off like you know what I mean, Like it's and it's just like,
you know what I mean, youdon't know if you could be yourself around
this person. You don't want youwant to be different around this. You
lose yourself, bro bing, golose yourself. You don't mean to lose
(07:15):
yourself. And then like you startlike trying to adapt to you know,
be better for that one person doesn'tDoes that make sense? No, it
makes perfect sense because you start youstart weaving out who you kind of want.
But then you start to and Ifeel like a lot of times and
people out there, you guys knowyou guys know, people start to how
(07:41):
can I say it change their perspectiveto meet that person, Like you know
what I mean, It's kind oflike you lose your values and you and
you kind of match that other person. Like, oh my god, I
like karts too. You never aCharacs in your life. Don't do that.
Don't do that, you know whatI mean? Like I feel like
they end up being fake about it. So I feel like spiritually, like
(08:09):
it could it could mess you up, Like both spiritually and mentally because it
takes. It takes a lot onyou, like it it does, like
you get very overwhelmed. Sometimes youstart getting agitated, especially you know,
like dealing with Shorty's if we're beinghonest, you got to like be mentally
tough, like to be doing allthat, you know, because they're dealing
with like all this emotions. Andthen like if if like if you're not
(08:30):
like I don't know what's the word, Like, if you're not like considerate,
right, if you're not considered ofemotions, you're considered like a bad
person, correct, But they don'tknow what you're going through, if that
makes sense. No, Yeah,because it's it's one of those things where
it's just like everybody wants you tobe the perfect match for them. Yeah,
And I feel like a lot oftimes, you know, especially like
in a data world, like it'sespecially when you're meeting somebody, it's you
(08:54):
don't know what's considerate, what's notconsidered You don't know, you don't I
mean, because you're obviously getting tonotice person. But all in all,
I think dating multiple people, youknow obviously respectfully people, it's it's great
(09:16):
in the sense that you know,you get to understand what you want and
what you don't want in your life, which is understandable ladies and gentlemen.
But at the same time, guyslike you know obviously like dating multiple people
at the same time. It doesIt does take a toll on you.
It does take a huge toll onyou. And like you, you either
got to figure out if you wantto just stop doing it focused on one
(09:37):
person, give it your all.You can do the one like you know
what I mean? But you Yeah, I mean some people fall into the
habit though they like can't get outof the habit. They don't know when
to quit while they're ahead. Yeah, so I feel like you need to
run the resident. I don't holdyou. I know you had something that
you wanted to talk about. Iknow you. You asks when do you
(10:01):
when do you come to realization thatyou gotta leave the game and settle down?
Yeah, you try to answer thatquestion, Okay, and then I'll
give you my answer. Listen,we got we got short time on this
one, Okay, listen, allright. I think that when you found
your match, I think when youfound your match and when you found the
(10:22):
value of not only yourself, youfound happiness and obviously we were speaking a
little bit of but I feel likeorganically it has to go good. Yeah,
that's when you make that realization thatyou're like, yo, bro,
I'm ready to settle down in shortand short go ahead, go ahead again
for me. Honestly, I thinkwhat you said is true about the organic
(10:46):
part. Like a lot of thingsare forced when two people don't get along,
And I've been a victim of that, you know, like I be
I forced a relationship while it wasnot there before, or surely did the
same thing. But you gotta understand, like sometimes as we have like a
bad habit of trying to see ifthe grass is greener on the other side
all the time, all the time. Oh, I don't know, I've
(11:07):
done that a lot, bro,I feel like we've all done that.
We're all guilty of doing that.So and and it's and it's and it's
one of those things where we justgot to know what's worth it for us.
And at the same time, it'sjust like until we actually you know,
because this is all in relevance toeverything, Once we narrowed out who's
who who we want to be with, that's when we're gonna kind of figure
(11:31):
out like, Okay, I'm happier, I'm more valued with this person.
I'm happy or more valued or caredfor from this person, you know what
I mean. But everybody has theirthings that they want to be valued for,
and like, you know what Imean. It's one of those things
where it's it's like I feel likeeveryone has I guess what's what's what's the
(11:54):
thing? The thing? The fivethe fiveanguages, which I think, which
I think is useless when if youdon't have no attractions, yeah, yeah,
no matter if no matter how hardthey try to follow that like,
it won't even work out mentally,you're not there with them if you're not
(12:15):
feelingly attracted to them and all thatextra stuff like money. I'm not okay
exactly, I mean, okay,let me ask you this though, you
know, because it's all in relevanceto everything that we're talking about. How
do you feel about having options whendating? See this way? Just try
Yeah, some people might get upset, I don't know. Keep good,
(12:41):
bad and ugly, Yeah, goodbag. And you want to start with
the ugly or the good, wecan stop with ugly. Start with the
ugly, all right. So ifyou're dating and you have options. Are
you going to try to keep itlike low key? Are you gonna try
to keep it to yourself? Areyou gonna be open about it? Which
way you're going? If I'm thinkingI'm having options, man, I'm being
(13:05):
open about it. A lot ofa lot of guys don't. A lot
of guys don't a lot of guysdon't. You know what I mean.
I feel like it comes down toit where yo, you want the the
bitter true or a sweet lives?You know what I mean. I'm gonna
be open about it. But likeI feel like having options, the ugly
(13:33):
is is the fact that you knowyou are selling yourself short You are I
guess devaluing yourself and you are limitingyourself to greater opportunities. The ugly I
(13:54):
think. I think the ugli istrying to have your cake and eat it
too. I'm feel I feel likeall of us done that because if I
Shorty told you that I have options, we're all getting tight, every every
single one. Everyone's getting again bigman, Like I'm talking about big fact.
So you're gonna get upset, Like, oh my goodness, I was
(14:16):
sick the minute he told me,Like oh yeah, Like I'm dating other
people. I'm seeing other guys.I was sick solid knowing knowing I was
doing the same. I'm taking thewhole I'm taking. I'm taking a shot
to the the whole. I'm takingthe bottle brok no ice, b at
all one strong, I'm like,no one no. Listen, guys,
and if you want to sit there, freak the funk saying like, nah,
(14:39):
you know, I'm not even likethat. Listen. Everybody like that
if you have options, especially ifyou catch feelings. Catch feelings is risy.
Catch feelings come on, and everyonehas caught feelings in any type of
optional relationship. You know what Imean. The bad I mean you you're
(15:00):
keeping it open, right, You'regonna you're gonnakeep it like a stack,
right, So if you're gonna keepit the stack with Shorty, the bad
is like, all right, youtell her. I'm like, I'm not
doing this no more. How yougonna take that? Man? See that's
the pressure, that's the pressure part. That's yeah, you have damn well.
(15:26):
She is she like like are youcool with her? Like You're like,
is she is? She? Like? Are we like? Is she
like the number one pick? Oris she like the number one first draphic.
Damn, she don't want to doit no more like just start there
right now. But she wants moretime or what you want scenario. That's
the thing if you have options,is the time thing, because it's like
(15:48):
you got a main you're right,you got like you got main, you
got the bench right and then gotthe bench players, and you've got somebody
that wants to make it exactly.That's the bad. That's what i's okay,
okays nasty, All right, let'slet's switch that up because it won't
be fair if you have the firstround draft pick. Since you want more
time, all right, cool,I'm gonna give you the more time,
(16:10):
my franchise time. Yeah, butwhat if she wants what if the one
on the on the the one that'strying to make the team, she wants
a max contract, max contract,You let her go. Ah, you
let her go and you spend minimumbag on it. No god, damn
no, no, no, no, no no no no, switch and
(16:33):
switch. It's like wait, wait, this is when you start like doing
like the pros and cons correct becauseyo, it's a salary cap man.
So you know she don't she don'task for nothing. She don't want to
see you more like at all.She'll ask Windy's when these biggie yo,
she wants five for five five,you have to keep her. Then you
(16:53):
have to keep it. She loveschicken. You have to keep it because
I don't want the one that wantslike every time, like nobody, every
single time, it's different against againstdifferent. It gets scary. So what
about the good? What about thegood in all of this and all of
(17:15):
this? What do you think isa good? You know, I'm gonna
I'm gonna keep it blind. SoI think the good is like this my
sign kind of sick. But likeif something goes bad, you always have
something to fall back on. That'sreal talk. But sureties doing the same
thing, bro. Yeah, andand and I feel like you know what
I mean. Like and once again, guys, we ain't coming at nobody.
(17:37):
We're not coming at nobody. It'sjust it's just we keep it.
We keep it a ninety three pluseleven with you, guys. My whole
thing is just like this. Whenyou're not committed to one relationship or when
you're not committed to one person,you're going through this whole dating process.
Now I'm not sitting there saying thatyou you out there gotta be sluck buckets.
I'm not saying that. I'm notsaying that. You know what I
mean, You know what I mean. But at the same time, if
(17:57):
you was in these predicted mints,it's one of those things where you know
the good is like you said,yo, if one doesn't fall through,
you could double back on another one. But at the same time, you're
losing your morals, values, allthat extra stuff. All of this stuff
comes in together. It's like agift basket, like you know what I
(18:18):
mean, like nuts, soap value, you know what I mean. Right
there, you know what I mean. So yeah, that's the whole thing,
with the whole having options with dating, Like it's it's good to a
point, to a certain point whenyou get tired of having to juggle,
yeah, because sometimes like once youyou might have something, the other one
(18:40):
doesn't correct. But that's when youget stuck in that loop though, and
then that's where you understand, like, and that's in coming back to this.
This is about knowing what you actuallywant, you know what I mean.
Until you know what you actually want, this is where you're gonna be
like, you know what I can'tdo this no more. I don't want
to do this no more. Iwanted to live this life. I don't
want to live this life. Yeah, oh man, yet listen, okay,
(19:10):
expectations and reality. What do youdo when you have a dynamic we're
for Shorty then eventually wants something more. This happens all the time, every
single time I'm telling you this,When this one she gets scary, real
scary. Okay, because you gotto understand who you are as a person,
(19:34):
as a man. Now now nowlook tell me, tell me,
tell me, tell me to comeup to the build up to this.
Like, so the dynamic was Shortyis that is she already yours or or
she's in the in the phase ofsomething that because it seems like, yo,
you don't want you don't want tobe committed with her. You don't
(19:56):
you're not ready to take it tothe next level. That's means right,
No, that's that's what I'm saying, Like, that's what that's what That's
how I'm reading it. So tellingme, like you know what I mean,
Like, my whole thing is yougot to ask her what she's used
to though. You got to getall the guys like like I've I've met
shorty who like oh yeah, likeI've gone to so and so places with
this guy. This guy took meout to this and I mean you feel
(20:18):
me, yeah, but you gotto understand who you areasa guy? Are
you a guy who has those deeppockets that can provide all that stuff?
Bro? If not see you know, I love how you say that because
you know it's it's not tricking ifyou got it. It's not tricking if
you got it. But it's oneof those things where it's not I don't
(20:40):
feel like it's it's real, Likeyou know what I mean. If I'm
always buying you something, it's justlike eh, it lose value, meaning
there is no value, Like youknow what I mean if I'm just taking
you out to dinner all the time, if I'm taking you out over here
blah, we go to roof Chrise, we go to Ocean Prime, we
go to Capitol Grill and all theextra shit like yeah, I do ship,
(21:00):
but it's like are you are youdoing that to keep her happy?
To keep her around? Because theminute the minute you say like, oh
I can't take you to the whatevername spot that it is right and then
she gets mad. Now what becausethe minute I see that, I'm off,
then I'm done. Like you're weird, bro, bro. But but
you I feel like a lot oftimes I feel like you know, and
(21:23):
I'm gonna tell you, oh man, all right. So my whole thing
is like this. I feel likewith anybody that you're if you're talking to
anybody ladies and gentlemen, I feellike there has to be a hierarchy,
there has to be a level up. Like I feel that the tax bracket
correct. So I feel like ifyou're first talking to a shorty, I'm
(21:44):
not telling you to take them totake them to take them to the park
or something like that. I'm nottelling you to do that, but like,
at the same time, make itmake sense, like take her to
somewhere where where where where I don'twant to say it's affordable, but somewhere
where you guys can engage have thatconversation. You're not you're not hurting the
pockets like that. But at thesame beause, But then again, it's
just like one of those things wherenow you level up based off of how
(22:07):
much you guys are interacting and gettingto know each other. Because if you
take it to the top of thetop all the time. What if you
want to celebrate something one day,We're gonna take it exactly capitol gril.
I don't know how p G tV. I. So listen, a
(22:29):
lot of a lot of niggas outhere. They be doing the most on
the first date response about Disney.That's met a lot of a lot of
guys out there. Bro. Theythe first date, they feel like they
(22:51):
gotta show out, and that's mymy first Never set the expectation high.
You can't. I'm not. I'mnot flying a shorty out to wherever Miami.
No, I'm not doing that onthe first on the first link up
is crazy, stupid, You're crazy? Is crazy. So I don't know,
it's it's all about the expectation yousaid in the beginning. Okay,
(23:15):
let me double back, but I'mgonna ask you this on that on that
topic, So, what do youthink is a fair starting point in dating
somebody for the first We're gonna dofirst three months? Where where we where?
What restaurants are deemed acceptable to takethem to? First three months?
(23:37):
The first three So what I doI do like this whole like this,
like checkless thing whenever I start talkingto a shorty, like I always try
to figure out who she is asa person with you, like where you
grew up, like where you grewup, like where you went to school
with your family? Like you feelme like where do you like to hang
out with your friends? Who areyour friends? Auditor feel me? So
(24:00):
like I do this whole checklist thing, like I'm out here speeling like the
like my whole entire plan, butlike that's what I do. But no,
it's fair though, and then onceI once I get all my answers
off, that that's when I'm justlike, all right, Like, you're
a shorty who's like super active.You like to do like activity stuff.
So I'm gonna take you to liketop golf. Okay, I'm gonna take
you to like level ninety nine orall these like fun little active stuff.
(24:21):
But if you're like, you know, like high class whatever quote, like
you're a shorty who likes to goto fancy bars like those low lit restaurants,
and I'm like I kind of understandwho you are, so okay,
so do you do you entertain that? Do you entertain the fact that yo,
you a high sedity fogie ass bitchrespectfully, bitch expactly respectfully. I
(24:45):
h not the one. The one. Do I entertain that. I entertained
that to a point, m toa point because I want to see if
she's humble about it. So whatis it like three hundred dollars a point?
I'm not spending three hundred dollars everyweek? Bro on, Mama,
Bros, I'm not doing it's thatidea. Not yet, not not yet
(25:11):
now. Yeah, I'm not.I'm not broke. I'm not saying I'm
broke down. I know a lotof people out here gonna be like this,
nigga's broke. No, bro that'sthe easy way. But you know
what it is, everybody count See, this is what it is with people.
People always count what their pockets don'thave. They always look at people
like based off of their pocket,not their pockets, on other people's pockets.
(25:32):
They're like, oh, you're broke. You're broke, sweetheart. You
don't go to Capitol girl every day? Exactly, sweetheart, you go to
Chipotle exactly, you make a tuneof fish sandwich for lunch? Exactly?
Can I take you there for exactly? Like you don't even take yourself there?
Come on, yeah, and I'llbe I'll be very transparent. I
believe I'll be very transparent. LikeI'm the type of guy who likes to
(25:52):
please a lot of a lot ofwomen. You feel me so, like,
I'll be very transparent about that,Like I'll do the like sometimes i'll
do the most, you know,like if you're happy about it, I'll
do it. You feel me soabout to be like, I'm keeping it
real, bro, I'm keeping itreal. There's been many times where like,
you know, like if you rathergo here and like I'm not feeling
it, I'll do it anyways.Bro. No, No, I'm for
(26:15):
the cause, for the cost,for the cost too. Yeah, but
I feel you want to There hasto be a point where it's like I
like, I don't want you toget like too comfortable, Like I don't
want to be doing too much,and then you expect this every single time,
Yeah, because then that's what you'resetting a bar high. Exactly.
Yeah. Listen, before we getout of here, you got anything positive
that you want to feedback to theviewers and listeners out there, Anything positive
(26:41):
or toxic I can give you bothof you, all right, Something positive
is self respect. Listen, Listen, bro. Like a lot of us,
like especially men, we fall underthe the illusion of like vagina a
lot you feel me like if shefucks you good and you know like she
she makes you feel the right waycool, But like at a certain point
(27:03):
you gotta find the level of selfrespect you feel me also, you gotta
figure that out. So as fortoxic, as for toxic, man,
do what you gotta do, butbe safe. Do what you gotta do,
but be safe and do your bestnot to get caught up. Because
(27:27):
the many you get caught up,your whole entire towers falling down. Yo.
I ain't gonna hold you. Ilove I love it, I love
it. A little bit of wordsof wisdom people, before I go.
You've ever been with somebody that liesso much that you just go ahead with
(27:51):
the lie? You go along withthe lie just because you don't want to
argue with them. Yeah, morethe story, people, I don't cheat.
If I get mad at you,yeah, I just go get food
without you for a whole day.That's just me. I love my piece.
(28:12):
I love my piece. I won'ttalk to you all day and I'll
be completely fine. I'm going thewhole day without you, with on food.
I'll be on the whole week,two weeks. I don't know.
I love pettiness is crazy. ThinkI got a nail polish in the car.
Come on, but listen, man. I want to thank you guys
(28:34):
for walking out with us for anotherepisode of Peace Consoles off the books.
I got my man Guy in thebuilding. What's your I G. Instagram
is Guy on ninety seven. That'sG A H E L ninety seven underscore.
I'll be the only one that you'llsee. I'm there. Oh ship,
you said his voice though he gotit. Yeah, so you know
you don't have to retreat. ButGuy's been till next time. Man,
(28:57):
Salutations easy,
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.